


Come What May

by PhantasticFiction



Category: Video Blogging & YouTube RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Prostitution, Anal Fingering, Anal Fisting, Anal Sex, BDSM, Blood, Blow Jobs, Bondage, Come Eating, Come Sharing, Come Swallowing, Crossdressing Kink, Dom/sub, Drugged Sex, Drugs, Fluff, Forced Feminization, Gang Rape, Groping, HIV/AIDS, Hand Jobs, Implied/Referenced Underage Prostitution, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Masturbation, Non-Consensual, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Past Sexual Abuse, Phil doesn't hurt Dan, Public Humiliation, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Rimming, Sex Toys, Sexual Abuse, Strippers & Strip Clubs, Temperature Play, Threesome - M/M/M, Violence, almost, bdsm suggested, hiv/aids scare, like half fisting, phil is nice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-25
Updated: 2015-01-22
Packaged: 2017-12-21 08:16:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 48
Words: 209,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/898023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhantasticFiction/pseuds/PhantasticFiction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil Lester usualy wasn't one to go to strip clubs. But after being coaxed into it by a couple of his friends he meets the ever hypnotizing Greyson Bear(Dan Howell). Easily falling in love with him Phil works to save Dan from the underworld of prostitution.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dropping Anchor in a Storm

 

Phil had never been to a club like this before. Never had that much of an interest in it before. But after a little persuading from his friends he was filled with so much curiosity, he had to go see what it was like. The idea was innocent enough, it was just dancers. They got undressed on stage but that was all it was. Phil sat with his friends sipping his drink and watching the current boy on stage getting undressed. It was interesting to say the least. However Phil was not sold on the idea of going to these sorts of shows as a regular thing. The boy finished his dance and went back stage. The crew quickly running across the stage picking up clothing as the presenter and owner of the club came up to introduce the next dancer. 

 

"This next one is supposed to be the best dancer here," Phil's friend nudged him so Phil would put his attention to the stage again.

Dan knew it was his turn to go onstage as he heard his music start.  He smiled to himself and stepped out, he loved this part. This part of the night, for the next fifteen minutes, he was a dancer, that was all. It wasn't money and wandering hands and strangers calling him baby. For the next fifteen minutes he got to dance onstage, and he happened to be quite good at it. The boy moved to the centre of the stage, looking over his audience for a moment to see what kind of people stumbled in tonight. There were a lot of their regulars, but some new faces too that he saw. His eyes locked with one of these new faces, this face didn't seem to fit in a place like this. 

He looked away and rolled his neck, relaxing his muscles and feeling the music as he let it take over his brain and push everything out. Push the logical thoughts like clients, and money. His style of dancing was different to the others, but maybe that was what made him popular. He danced for himself. He danced in a way that made him feel something. He touched his skin the way he would want other people to touch his skin, undressed himself like it mattered, like he mattered. For the next fifteen minutes he was all that mattered. 

Dan started moving to the music, in pre decided formations and rolls of his hips. Making sure he made eye contact with some of the audience, knowing it made them more interested. Phil focused in on him. He had thought the others were interesting, this one was fully hypnotic. Watching carefully as the boys hands moved across his body, tilting his head a little as the beautiful boy swayed and leaned down. Dans fingers danced lightly over his sides and under the hem of his shirt as his movements took him to the left of the stage, his eyes locking with the boy who looked out of place to him

Phil swallowed when he noticed that he was looking straight at him and their eyes met. Unsure of know how he was supposed to react. He kept the gaze for a moment then followed Dans hands as they moved from the top of his shoulders down his torso, to his stomach, and hips. Making their way to caress in between his thighs.  Phil's heart was racing, none of the other dancers made him feel this way, it wasn't just arousal either. There was something so much more that Phil didn't look away.

Dans legs parted slightly as he rolled his body and dropped downward, ending with his knees on the ground. He licked his lips as his hands ran up his body again. It was all up to him, when he took his clothes off, how much of himself he gave to the people watching him. He was wearing suspenders and snapped them out, flicking back against his body to which he responded by his mouth opening a little, however there was still a smirk playing about his eyes. He rolled his hips, hands slipping down so they were sitting under the waistline of his trousers before he rolled his body into a standing position again, he winked at the unusual boy with black hair who didn't fit, as he had been staring at him without looking away. Dan decided it was him he was dancing for tonight. Usually he did that, chose someone in the audience who perked his interest and directed his attention towards them. As he stood he unclipped his suspenders and strutted to centre stage again. His shirt came off, slowly and he made sure to lock eyes with the boy again while he took it off, dropping it to the floor he payed attention to his own chest, hand running over himself, pinching a little when he felt like it. Smirking at the audience, he decided to play it up a little. 

He dropped down again and started rolling his body, lifting up on his knees and dropping himself every now and again, his mouth open and a look in his eyes saying 'I know what you're all imagining right now'. Dan knew what got to these men, and having him centre stage looking like he was riding someone came under that category. His hands went to his belt buckle as he continued this motion.

 

Phil saw the boy wink at him and his heart all but lept out of his chest. He couldn't believe someone could send such a rush through his body. Phil was never one to just want someone, but watching the beautiful brown haired boy roll his hips in front of all these people. All that filled him was want for the other, in every way. And he wanted to see more.

Dan knew he had Phil's interest, but he didn't seem very old, could he afford him? He hoped so. Because out of everyone in this room, this boy was by far the most attractive. He stood up and stopped his little re-enactment, receiving a few groans from the audience, which made him smile. Regardless of what he did for a living, being able to turn on a whole room of guys was a bit satisfying. 

He continued his routine in his usual manor, working up the audience, playing off what they seemed to like, before long he was down to just his boxers and hat, and he felt like playing with the black haired boy a little more directly. He walked over to the edge of the stage, almost directly in front of the boy. Dan bit his own lip and ended up kneeling again, his hips where rolling as he scratched lightly at his inner thighs, drawing a small noise from himself that would only be audible to a few right in front of him. His hands ran over his body as  he let his head drop back, thinking about feeling someone else put their hands on his skin like _this_. Not in a rush to use him to get themselves off, but cause they actually wanted _him_ to feel good. 

Dans hands brushed over the front of his boxers, and he smirked a little realizing he had successfully turned himself on again in a room full of eager eyes. The other dancers were never hard, and the audience loved that Dan didn't seem to have that boundary like the others. He lifted his head back up and met the boys eyes again. Noticing they were the prettiest shade of blue. Pretty eyes. That's what he was gonna call him.

Phil licked his lips, this was all too exciting. The Dancer was turned on and so was Phil. His eyes eagerly looked over the others, thinking about how smooth and soft his skin would feel under his hands. How badly he wanted to touch him, hear him moan as Phil caressed his body, finding the spots that made him louder. What would Phil do just to have a chance with this perfect boy who, at least in Phil's eyes, seemed to be paying attention to him. Maybe that was just the illusion though.

The music ended to soon in Dans opinion. His movements slowed to a stop as he came down from his music high. Eyes still on the boy as he stood up again. There were claps and cheers which got louder when the rest of the audience saw he was hard. He smirked and licked his lips while looking at this boy, at pretty eyes, before he turned and walked off the stage. 

He was the last dancer, and now it was after hours. The manager announced that to the audience and he heard whistles from the them as _he_ had just riled them all up. That's why they left Dan till last. Dan changed into his after hours outfit and had a drink quickly out the back before going back onto the stage, it was an open stage for the performers now to do what they liked. Dans eyes went straight to the boy, who to his pleasant surprise was still there. He smiled at this before he jumped up onto the pole, needing something to do while he waited to see if Phil was indeed staying or not. He moved around the pole the same as he danced, acting as if it was a person he was grinding up against and not an object. He leaned his upper back against the pole and rolled his hips as he dipped his body down, hands against his lower stomach, dangerously close to being elsewhere. He noted Phil was still there and winked again, exaggerating his movements as he refused to break eye contact. He wanted this boy to want him. This was his job, it was what he did, found the men that seemed to want him the most after his performance. However it was a plus when they looked as good as this one did.

After Dans performance finished Phil's friends started getting up. He looked at them confused. 

"Where are  you guys going?" He asked concerned, he didnt want to leave, he was hoping if he waited till the bar closed he could get a chance to talk to the beautiful boy on his way out.

"It gets weird during after hours, not our thing," 

Phil looked back and saw Dan come back out on the stage. 

"I'm gonna stay a little while longer," Phil mumbled now keeping his focus entirely on Dan. 

"Sure thing, see you tomorrow, don't spend it all in one place," They laughed as they walked out. 

Phil was a bit confused. He probably wasn't going to be drinking that much more tonight. They knew he was good at controlling himself on his spending on drinks.

Dan saw the boy say goodbye to his friends and decided it was time to act before someone else swooped in on this boy, he was getting looks from a lot of his co-workers, but Phil seemed to be oblivious. He licked his lips and walked to the edge of the stage sitting down and leaning back on his hands 

"Why hello there pretty eyes, how are you this evening?" He purred out. Eyes looking Phil over shamelessly. He needed to know what he wanted,  be it  a lap dance or something more.

Phil's heart was going even faster now, the boy who had hypnotized him was now right in front of him and addressing him, and starring at him so intensely. 

"H-hi," Phil managed to stammer out, blushing intensely. 

He didn't know what was he expected to do, how was he supposed to answer? "What are you doing?" He asked unsure why Dan had stopped to come over and talk to him. Although all the dancers seemed to be doing their own thing as well, no longer limited to the stage. Part of Phil wanted to run out of there and never look back, but the way the beautiful boy was starring at him, Phil felt stuck into his chair.

Dan smirked a little, so he was a shy one.

"Just talking to the pretty eyed boy who seemed to be starring all evening, it's okay, that's what I'm here for," He said it that same velvet tone that he always used with potential clients.

"And _you_ are still here after hours, so _you_ must have more intentions than just watching me," Dan chose this moment to hop down from the stage and sit in the seat opposite from the boy. "Greyson Bear, at your service." He winked at him again as he held his hand out for the other to shake. "Most people just call me Grey," 

His stage name was interesting, when he turned up at this bar at 17, cold and alone and in need of money, they asked him to say a word he related to. He said grey. Grey was what everything was, he still thought that. The world was grey and people spent their lives trying to hide that fact with artificial colors and sweeteners in the form of lies and material thrills. They accepted his idea of "Grey" making his stage name "Greyson" He didn't understand why they added Bear to start with, why they shared a knowing laugh a they did. As Dan got more experienced, he learned that "bear" meant something, and he was the complete opposite of that. 

Dan liked that, that his name was misleading. He was being cautious with this blue eyed man, most of the time he would jump straight into their lap and start working at making them think they _needed_ him... But there was something about the expression on this gorgeous boys face that told him he wasn't quite sure what he was getting himself into yet, and Dan was perfectly happy to show him, for a price of course.

Phil shook the others hand and continued starring at him in awe. They were now sitting across from each other so simply like this. 

"I'm Phil" he replied. "Bear's a funny name for you, since you're not... oh I'm sorry, can i get you a drink?" Phil  felt so self conscious he had no idea why 'Grey' was spending any time talking to him. It was 'after hours' so did that mean they were free to spend the rest of the night however they wanted. "I don't want to waste any of your time," Phil sighed and dug his nails into his palms.

Dan laughed lightly to Phil's response to his name, peoples confusion never got boring.

"I kind of like the irony in my name," Dan said. "Hey there is no need to be nervous Phil.. my _job_ is to make you relax babe," Dan thought about his options, maybe he would dance for him for free, because he was pretty sure Phil wanted more than dancing from the way he kept staring at him. "How about this.." He stood up and moved over to where Phil was sitting on the single couch seat. "This ones on the house... and if you want more, all you have to do is ask. The only boundary is how much you want to spend," He smiled and stood in front of him, waiting for permission. 

He snapped at one of the waitresses who came and put two drinks on the table, Dans regular and whatever it was that Phil ordered before. 

"Do I have your consent to continue Phil?" He said then bit his lip eyes running over Phil again. Definitely a night of work lay in front of him if he played this right.

Phil stared at Dan lost in his eyes. 

"Yes," He said softly trying to work out in his mind what was going on. Price... On the house.... Phil's eyes widened a bit as he realized what he had gotten in to. He swallowed hard and tried to convince himself in his mind that this was ok. Phil so badly wanted a chance with this boy, he was just thinking earlier what would he do to touch him, would he actually pay someone? Phil's heart pounded in his chest. Money wasn't a problem for him. There couldn't be any harm in one night, maybe? He was so unsure of everything right now but he knew right now yes 'Grey' had permission to continue with whatever he wanted to do.

Dan smiled and crawled into Phil's lap. 

"Good" he purred out. If there was something Dan was known for besides his dancing, it would be how shameless he was. He just didn't care how much he put himself out there to get a client, and he knew how much they all loved it. He started moving his hips (a safe distance from Phil) as he danced the way he had on stage but now in Phil's lap. His hands running over his chest, his lips a little parted as he moved on Phil's lap. He lifted up onto his knees and moved his hips more. His hands ran down Phil's arms, then back to his own chest, stomach, he traced the little bit of his v line that was visible then hooked his thumbs into his waist band before grinning and moving his hands up again. 

"What are you thinking about, Phil?" He asked softly. Eyes locked on Phil and sparking mischievously.

Phil kept still, letting Dan do as he pleased. He wanted to touch him but was afraid to, mainly because of how beautiful and hypnotizing the other was. He was afraid if he touched him, he might disappear, and be all just a perfect illusion. 

"You are beautiful," Phil whispered still in a trance, his skin felt like sparks when Dans hands roamed over his body.

"Thank you," Dan said smiling, there was something about this boy that seemed more genuine than the others he got in here. "You aren't to bad yourself pretty eyes," He added rolling his hips more, hands slipping lower and under his waist band a little just to tease Phil. "Usually the rules are no touching the dancers, but since we both know this is going to go further, I may be willing to make an exception, If you want to touch you can,"

Phil tensed up, he had played with the idea of going further but it hadn't been a solidified idea. Hesitantly he placed his hands on Dans sides moving slowly up to his chest, his skin was just as smooth as he was imagining it would be. His hands were shaking slightly.

"I don't know what i'm doing," He admitted finally starring up at Dan, a bit scared.

Dans expression softened and he stopped moving around, 'so it was his first time'. He suspected as much. He was quite surprised that a boy who looked like this was considering paying for sex. Surely he could have anyone he wanted. 

"It's okay, don't be scared, this can be as much or as little as you want it to be, no pressure to take it further than you want to," He ran his hands over Phil's shoulders, gently massaging him before leaning in and whispering into his ear. "I can be anything you want me to be, do anything you want me to do. That's the beauty of this Phil, you're the one who gets to request whatever you want, and I will happily fill your request." 

He sat back and smirked, handing Phil his drink before he noticed one of his regulars out the corner of his eye. 

"I will be right back okay? Nothing to be scared of baby," He repeated before walking over to the other male. Maybe the pressure of other interest will make Phil admit what he wants.

Phil stopped breathing for a second as the dancer whispered in his ear. As the beautiful boy got up and walked away Phil took a sip of his drink. He listened closely as Grey started talking to the other man, he looked older then Phil. He picked up little bits of the conversation. Hearing whispers of being possibly booked, and to come back later. Phil took a larger gulp of his drink now, burning on the way down. If Phil didn't pay up and keep the younger boy with him for the night he was just going to go with someone else. His stomach twisted slightly at the thought of someone else being able to touch that perfect skin, no one would appreciate it as much as Phil did.

Dan said goodbye to his other customer who wasn't to pleased to see Dan go back to the other boy. 

"Where were we?" Dan said taking his own drink sipping some of the liquid into his mouth, not before licking over the rim of the bottle suggestively while crawling back onto the boys lap.

Phil instantly put his hands on him pulling him closer. Feeling his own heart rate pick up now that he had his hands on the beautiful boy again. He didn't want to have to pay for this, it wasn't right, he just wanted to love him. But if Phil didn't pay tonight Grey would go with another man and who knows if Phil would ever see him again. 

"I want you," Phil said softly looking at the perfect boy on top of him. Dan smirked. "mmh I know you do," Dan shuffled closer to Phil. "I think you need to want me a little more though..." He started giving Phil a proper lap dance now, rolling his hips and body as refused to look away from Phil. Little touches to Phil's body and his own was making him hard again, something Dan had no shame in being when he could be. 

He stood up and pushed Phil's legs apart as he rolled his body as he dropped down closer to the ground between Phil's legs, face eye level with Phil's crotch and his expression making it more than slightly suggestive. He could feel other guys eyes on them, jealousy. The guy that got Dan always got those looks from other less fortunate customers. He hoped Phil noticed their stares. 

"what's the plan then baby?" Dan whispered into Phil's ear as he settled on his lap again. Still moving to the music and focusing his touches on himself rather than Phil until he requested something from him.

Phil stayed fixated on watching Grey sway. He was completely oblivious to anyone in the room, anyone watching them, all his thoughts were how badly he wanted to touch this boy and pleasure him. A big part of him could not get over what he was going to do but the other part that was louder at the moment didn't care.

"Is there someplace private we can go?" Phil asked his hands gently touching the perfect boys skin.

"Of course there is." Dan liked the way this boys hands felt on him, which was odd. He leaned in closer so his breathe was ghosting over Phil's ear and neck "If you have cash on you we can go there right now if you like" He purred. 

He hated mentioning money, it was a turn off,  but it was a must. This was a business, a transaction, he needed to make sure they were able to pay for whatever they were going to request. He let his lips lightly run over the skin under his ear, trying to seal the deal, seal Phil into saying yes and walking out the back with him.

Phil nodded, unsure of how much this sort of business even costs. What was the price of affection. He was going to find out soon enough. 

"Yes, please, I need you," He said softly, getting more excited now then before, now that it was actually going to happen, what he had been thinking about since the boy came on stage, was going to happen.

Dan always wondered why they used the word need. They didn't _need_ him. they _wanted_ him, they _lusted_ after him. They used “need” totally wrong, they all did.

 

 


	2. No More War, No More Clothes, Give Me Peace (Oh Kiss Me)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil gives in to Dan's seduction, but not entirely in the way Dan had planned.

Dan stood up and took the boys hand.

"Come with me then, ignore any comments on the way out," he started walking with him through the crowd.

A few guys made irritated noises and the guy who approached him earlier rolled his eyes. Disappointed that he had missed out for the night. Dan got to the back door and opened it, gesturing for Phil to go through. He then led him into 'his room' or the room where he worked from. Being the most popular worker here he got the best place to work from as well. 

The rooms were lavish with plush carpet and gorgeous bed coverings, it was clean, and everything Dan could need for whatever request anyone could ask of him was in the drawers on either side of the bed. It was a classy establishment, not some cheap whore house. Even though all it did was pretty up exactly the same thing. Dan was a whore, but they prettied it up with sexy dances and expensive things, it made them feel better about what they did, and made the clients feel less dirty when they went home to their wives.

He sat down on the edge of the bed and leaned back on his arms again, he didn't speak but let his eyes run over Phil. Trying to pre-emt what he would like, what he would ask for, what he would want but _wouldn’t_ ask for, it always went down well with a client if he could initially tell what they wanted.

Phil watched Grey and looked around the room, he seemed so used to this. How old was he? He looked a lot younger but he had to be at least 18. 

"Can I just, lie with you for a little bit?" Phil asked a bit cautiously. He just wanted to pretend right now, lay with him and pretend that anything they did could be more then a business transaction.

"If that's what you want," Dan said shuffling patting the space beside him as he moved and lay on the bed, turning on his side to face Phil. "Phil, you don't need to be anxious or scared, don't think of any of the other stuff. Just think that we are two people, enjoying each others company, the rest doesn't matter right now okay?" He said softly in a seductive voice, meeting Phil's eyes. 

Dan leaned over to the mini bar that was next to the drawers and handed Phil another drink, the same as what he was drinking before. 

"This goes at any pace you set, I _want_ to make sure you have a good night okay?" He ran his hand lightly over Phil's arm. 

He was quite relaxed here, so he didn't mind waiting for Phil to sort through any issues he was having in his mind. He leaned his head down against his arm but kept his eyes on Phil.

Phil smiled sweetly at Grey, glad he wasn't expected to jump into sex.  He took a small sip of the drink but set it aside. He wasn't interested in drinking right now. Phil took off his shoes and laid down. It was a lot more comfortable then he expected. When thinking of a whore house he imagined a dingy room with an uncomfortable bed, but this was nicer. At least it didn't feel as dirty as it was. 

"I _am_ having a good night, I got you to talk to me," Phil said simply, looking over the lovely boys face who was a lot closer now. "Can I touch you?" He asked softly. Phil knew he could afford whatever he did, but felt he should ask before anything he did.

Dan nodded and smiled. 

"You can do anything you like... are you unsure of rules? I can tell you the rules if you like? or I can just stop you if you get close to breaking one. It is up to you," he ran his thumb over Phil's cheek bone. "Relax," he said again softly.

"N-no it's fine," Phil stammered, a bit embarrassed now. 

He reached over and put a hand in the beautiful boys hair, it felt even more soft then he imagined it. Then moved his hand slowly across his jaw line, so soft. Phil undid the bow tie around the younger boys neck and lightly dragged his fingers across the now exposed skin. 

"How old are you?" Phil asked, his hand working back up into Grey's hair.

"I turned nineteen last week," Dan said as he relaxed into Phil's little touches. He was watching him with curiosity. Wanting to know what he was thinking, he always liked shyer clients, they were more fun usually. Getting them to come out of their shells "How old are you, Phil?" He asked, Phil probably wanted conversation, it often made them feel more comfortable until they got to a point where there was no room for talking.

Phil was right, he was really young. He wondered what such a young beautiful boy was doing in a place like this. What happened to him? Phil's hand gently massaged the young boys head. 

"Twenty-three," He responded, Phil was unashamed of his age, seeing the other person who approached Grey, Phil had to be a much younger client. His hand caressed down Dan's neck, fingers playing over his collar bone and chest before working up to his shoulder. Phil wanted to explore every inch of this perfect boys body, learn every curve and find what makes him moan. "Whatever I want to do right?" Phil asked, starring at the beautiful boy innocently.

Dan shivered a little under Phil's touch, and extended his neck a little as Phil's fingers ran over it. It was odd that he was focusing on areas that weren't going to gain Phil anything. Dan smiled and nodded at Phil's question. Glad to see he seemed to be gaining a little bit of confidence.

"You're young... Well, younger than a lot," He said.

He wanted to know why Phil was here. Why he didn't have some gorgeous boy at home? Maybe he did? Dan didn't know anything about him, which was what it was always like. But it hadn't really interested him until this moment to know anything about a client. Sometimes they liked to ramble on about their lives, but Dan never cared to listen.  He shook those thoughts and focused on Phil. His job. This was _work._

Phil pushed the other boy slightly to lay on his back, noting the reaction when Phil touched his neck. Phil's hand moved down his chest to his stomach playing over his sides. 

"Yeah, but so are you, my friends are really into exotic dancing and they were right, it is beautiful," Phil's hand slipped under the other boys pants but not touching him yet, letting his hand caress around him, over his hip, before slipping his hand back out and touching his stomach again.

Okay, Phil had nice hands, and they felt nice running over him, he was being soft and careful... But that was probably only because he was trying to come to terms with whats happening. He would decide what he wanted Dan to do soon. He let out a small contented sound, there were no rules that said Dan couldn't enjoy it, it's just usually it was really average, for Dan at least. Not for the person he was with. 

"I love dancing," he said. "It's... freeing," he didn't say anymore, he didn't want to go into details about what that meant. "I am glad you liked watching," He added "My style is different from the others, but I like it," He let his fingers run over Phil's arm and neck, he couldn't touch anywhere else as the boy was dressed and didn't seem in any real hurry to change that. It was fine with Dan, everything was.

"You were the only one who kept my attention," he paused a bit happy he heard a noise of approval from the other. Phil slipped his hand back under Grey's pants and massaged him. "You're an amazing dancer," Phil said smiling at him. "Does this feel alright?" Phil asked, keeping himself paced. Soon he would go back to exploring Grey's body.

Dan let out a surprised but pleasured noise, people hardly even touched him unless it was a grope to see how big he was or lubing him up if he was going to top, so this was surprising.

"Yeah," Dan said a little distant sounding before adding, "You can ask for anything you want yeah? Don't feel like you need to edge about asking me anything," Maybe Phil was into something kinky, and felt awkward asking. However being touched was a pleasant change. He relaxed into it, biting his lip. "And thank you.. about the dancing," Phil seemed to mean it about dancing, not just that he looked good while doing it.

"I am doing what I want," Phil said a bit confused moving his hand away and touching the younger boys chest again. "Can you take off your pants though?" Phil asked. He waited till Grey had done so before running his hands over his smooth thighs, every bit of him was unmarked and perfect. 

"How do you do this every night?" Phil said with a bit of concern in his voice. He wasn't judging him for what he had to do. But he was concerned about what damage that could do to a person. Phil's hands caressed his hip gently playing with the waistband of his underwear.

Dan sighed, he usually had a 'no shop talk' rule but something about this was different, he wasn't asking in a bad way, he was just curious. 

"It's... just my job. I get paid to have sex with people. Be..." He paused, the correct word was 'used' but that sounded bad and he didn't want sympathy. "...A tool to help people get what they want for a night," he said, curiously watching Phil's hands, wondering why he wanted to touch this much before asking Dan to do something, probably nerves.

"Hm," Phil didn't want to question anymore, it wasn't something you should talk about in a situation like this anyway. "Can I kiss your neck?" Phil asked starring at the soft skin. 

Last time phil touched his neck it earned him a pleasant sigh, he hoped to hear again. His hand was now busy massaging the other through his underwear again.

Dan hesitated, his neck was one of his spots, and he didn't tell clients his spots because honestly none of them would care anyway. 

"Alright," He said, keeping his work demeanor up but he was starting to feel almost uncomfortable with this. Little touches and talking, it was verging on intimate. Sex was one thing, intimate was another whole ballpark that Dan knew absolutely nothing about.

Phil leaned in and placed a gentle kiss onto the younger boys neck. He felt more nervous now then ever. This action was probably frustrating Grey who seemed confused by every move Phil made. But Phil just wanted to touch him, that was all he had wanted the whole night, was to touch him and talk to him, and he was getting both now.

"Should I stop talking? Is it bothering you?" Phil asked kissing along the other boys neck more.

Dan let out a soft noise and leaned into the kisses on his neck 

"Talking is fine, anything is fine, I just don't know why you haven't asked me to do anything yet," Dan purred out, noting how he had kind of lost his persona a little and had to pick it back up, Phil seemed nervous again "We have all night Phil don't worr-" 

He cut himself off with a moan as Phil's hand wrapped around his cock and started stroking him. Phil felt the need to speed up his actions, as much as he would love to spend hours just caressing him. Grey didn't seem to have time for that.

"I have asked you to do stuff," Phil smiled into his neck, loving the sounds he was hearing. 

Phil slowed the pace of his hand. He felt a bit more relaxed hearing Grey say they had all night, he could take his time again. Phil rolled some so his body was over Grey's and he had more access to kissing down the younger boys collar. He continued pumping his hand at a slow pace.

Dan didn't know what to think, he felt Phil move partially on top of him and he found that he _wanted_ him to. He moved his hips up a little into Phil's hand, before mentally scolding himself for it. This was for Phil, not him, but if it was for Phil why was Dan being pleasured? 

"Mmmhh," He moaned out not being able to help it. 

Dan was known for being vocal during sex, but usually it was when he was being fucked and they happened to hit his prostate, or when he pleasured himself while the client did whatever they wanted to him, or Dan did something to them. But this was cause his client, Phil, was _making_ him feel good _on purpose_ and not getting anything back.

"Mmhh do you want me to touch you now?" He said voice getting a little lower.

Phil was loving all the sounds Dan was making. For someone who had sex often, he was super sensitive. Phil was excited to hear what this perfect boy sounded like when he orgasmed. 

"Just let me have this," Phil breathed out, his mouth working down the younger's chest and flicked his tongue across one of his nipples. Phil started moving his hand at a quicker pace.

"Arhh, okay" Dan moaned again keeping his eyes on Phil.

Whenever Dan moaned it seemed to have an effect on Phil. Dan noticed Phil was hard, and Dan hadn't even touched him. Was this a kink? Did he get off on getting strangers off? He rolled his hips a little, letting himself go into it a little, if this is what got him off then that was fine with Dan.

Phil liked the way the other boy rolled his hips into his hand. All of this was just letting Phil pretend for these moments that he was in love with a beautiful boy, who loved him too, and they would make love like this. With lovely sounds and gentle kisses. But all of this right now was just paid affection. He could feel Grey getting more into it by the way his back relaxed. Phil moved his thumb over his slit, hoping to get bigger reaction then before.

Dan moaned again and smirked at Phil. 

"You have good hands," rolling his hips again as Phil seemed to like him doing that.

He was teetering on the edge of acting a certain way because Phil wanted him to, and reacting just because of the pleasure. He liked to keep it together when he was with a client, usually he didn't even get off, unless he was topping. But most people wanted a hot guy to lie there and take it, they didn't care if Dan came or not, usually they didn't even care if he was hard or not. He met Phil's eyes again and moaned lightly.

Phil smiled back at him and flicked his wrist. 

"You make beautiful sounds," Phil said continuing to stroke him. Phil hoped that the noises Grey was making was from him actually enjoying himself, not because that is what Phil wanted to hear. He went back to kissing at Dan's neck which seemed to have been the most sensitive spot for the younger boy. 

"Do you have lubricant?" Phil asked, he assumed he did but wanted to know where it was.

Dan let out a small laugh. 

"I have everything in these drawers," he said leaning over and opening the top drawer, pulling out a few various bottles of lubes of different types and dropping them on the bed. He didn't acknowledge the compliment, he wasn't used to it like this, it felt different. "Mmhh god,” he whined again when Phil's lips reattached to his neck again, he assumed Phil was gonna fuck him now, as he saw him asking for the lube as him gaining the confidence to request what he wanted.

Phil tugged down the other boys underwear slightly. He gazed over his body, the younger boy was even more beautiful like this. Grabbing one of the lube bottles, he poured some into his hand and went back to stroking the beautiful boys cock. Phil noticed the look of confusion on his face and leaned back over him to kiss his collar and neck.. 

"I'm not going to fuck you....and I'm not gonna have you fuck me either, just..." He paused to place kisses up closer to Dan's ear. "...Let me do this for you, this is what I want,"

Dan went with it, honestly it felt to good right now for him to question, if the boy wanted to just touch him, there is no complaints from Dan. He moaned at the increase in pleasure now that Phil's hand slid up and down him almost effortlessly and he bit at his lower lip. 

"Mmhhh baby that feels so good," yes he was still partially acting, keeping up appearances and his persona, but at this point 90% of his reaction was genuine and that was more than any client had got out of him ever before.

Phil moved his hand quickly his thumb repetitively running over Dan's slit with every stroke. He continued placing kisses along his neck, flicking his tongue out every now and again but being careful with him. 

"Just go with it, you don't have to hold back," Phil whispered against his skin.

Dan bucked his hips again. His hand finding its way to Phil's chest and bunching in his shirt a little, he wanted to touch him, his skin, and Phil said to just go with it so that's what he did. Quickly and professionally unbuttoning Phil's shirt with one hand and running his hand over the newly revealed flesh. He _wanted_ to touch him.

"Thats it," Phil smiled, he watched the other boys face as he stroked him enjoying the glimpses of pleasure that appeared on his face. 

The look on Dan's face was beyond beautiful, Phil could see him slowly getting lost in the feelings. However there was still this strong wall deep inside him that Phil couldn't get around yet.

Dan let his fingers run lightly over Phil's skin. He instinctively pulled him closer, but it wasn't an instinct he had experienced before. His hand curled and gripped onto Phil's waistband as another moan spilled from his lips and his eyes locked on Phil's. There was this sudden intensity and it scared Dan. He broke the eye contact, not liking how it made him feel.

Phil leaned down to kiss Dans collar for a second before lifting back up. 

"What else do you like," Phil asked and moved slightly to adjust the arm he was resting on so it could plan in the younger boys hair. He slowed the movement on his hand some. Dan just stared at him for a second.

"Um... I've never been asked that before..." He gave a kind of anxious smile. "I like what the person I'm with likes, what they want me to like," he paused. "What do you want me to like?" 

He met Phil's eyes again and got that same intense feeling but decided to keep the eye contact this time. He licked his lips. Why did Phil wanna know what he liked? maybe it was some kind of game. He let out another soft noise and let his hand continue to explore Phil's torso.

"That's not the same thing," Phil laughed softly and kissed Dans neck although the beautiful boy didn't admit to it out loud Phil could tell this was a spot he liked.

Phil was careful, he wanted to bite but he figured on his own that leaving a mark  behind would be a big no. However he still dragged his teeth gently across his skin.

Dan moaned and moved Phil so he was on top of his legs. He ran his hands over his chest and sides. 

"Mmmh, well that feels good, if you actually want to know... but you can't mark me. drops my retail value," he smirked as he ran his hands over the front of Phil's pants, feeling he was hard still. This was keeping him interested.  

"Let me look after you, Phil," he said as he kept his eyes on Phil's bulge rather than his face. "Let me do what you're entitled to get," he rolled his hips again, his mouth falling open because it did feel really good. He just needed to do his job.

Phil disliked the younger boy referring to himself as having retail value. He didn't see him as an object that got sold around, but thats what it was wasn't it...? He kissed his neck gently. 

"I'm not entitled to anything, I just wanted to touch you, I'm doing what I wanted like you said I could, is it bothering you? Do you want to touch me too?" Phil asked and flicked his tongue along the younger boys neck up close behind his ear.

Dan let out a breathily moan and his hands went into Phil's hair.

"You don't get it, you are entitled to anything _you_ want. It's nothing to do with what I want. You own me for tonight, and it's my duty to fulfill anything you tell me to do. Do _you_ want me to touch you?" His voice was a little lower due to the pleasure he was receiving.

Phil lifted away from Dans neck and looked at him. 

"No. I want you to get so lost in pleasure that I'm giving you that you arch your back, and your legs shake, and you throw your head back, and moan loudly as you come," Phil focused more on the motion his hand was doing as he stroked the younger boys cock. "And your breath gets short," he kept eye contact with him. "And you say my name. Thats what I want,".

Dan's eyes were locked on Phil's and his breath hitched as he swallowed thickly. He was told what people want all the time but it was never his pleasure nor did it ever turn him on like this had. He just nodded. Didn't even speak and just like that he turned his brain off. Giving into it. He stopped thinking about his usual set up and what to do and not to do he just reacted to all of Phil's touches and came to the conclusion that he had perfect hands. 

"Mmmh Fuck," he moaned out as his hands run up Phil's still clothed thighs. His eyes never leaving Phil's. It was intimate, and Dan had no idea what that word meant yet so to him it was oddly intense and scary.

Phil smiled softly feeling Dan relax and give into what was happening, that someone wanted him to feel good above everything else. Phil wanted to kiss him but held back from doing so. That seemed too be an obvious no as well, so he kept starring at him as he stroked his cock, pretending in his mind that the perfect boy under him wanted this just as much as he did.

Dan rolled his hips up in a steady pattern, he was staring at Phil's mouth now. He couldn't help it. He wanted to kiss him but didn't say so, Dan wouldn't ask. hisbreathing lost its steadiness a little. and he just felt so good in this moment.

"Mmmh jeez"

"You are too beautiful," Phil whispered and tilted his head kissing along Dans cheek to his jaw placing more gentle kisses down his neck. "Is kissing against the rules?" Phil asked, he expected it to be but he wanted to kiss the perfect boy so badly, he had to at least ask.

Dans cheeks where flushed and he looked at Phil and shook his head 

"Kisses are allowed." 

That wasn't entirely true, kissing was up to the individual worker, and Dan didn't kiss many of his clients. Some, but not a lot. And this time he actually wanted it. He reached forward and pulled Phil towards him, pressing their lips together without hesitation and feeling this rush that he hadn't ever experiences before. He deepened the kiss quickly, wanting more of this boys mouth as a whine escaped his throat and into Phil's mouth.

Phil's heart sped up as the other boy showed more want to him. He moved his lips expertly across his and licked along Dans bottom lip. Phil didn't expect to be able to kiss him, the feeling of the other boys lips against his made his head spin. Phil let out a soft moan too before slipping his tongue into Dans mouth.

Dan kept kissing back allowing Phil access to his mouth and meeting his tongue with his, he allowed Phil to lead, as he was leading with everything else going as well. His hands gripped onto Phil's hips as he grounded himself, there was nothing else in his mind except Phil, Phil's hands, Phil's mouth, and how good everything felt.

Phil felt light headed everything felt so right and intoxicating. He moved his hand faster again. 

"Say my name," Phil ordered nipping at Dans lip gently. He liked the feeling of Dans hands on his hips.

"Mmhh Phil, mmhh I'm close," He muttered out, pulling him forward by putting each hand on either side of his open collar and pressing their lips together, kissing Phil needfully.

Phil kept the pace of his hand stroking Dan. He kept his mouth on Dans for a moment before pulling away and gazing over his face. 

"Come for me," he purred leaning back down to brush his lips against Dans again. "Make it loud"

Dan moaned again, louder and met Phil's eyes, refusing to look away,. 

"Mmmhh fuck Phiill," he rolled his hips up faster into Phil's hand, his own hand gripping onto Phil's shoulder as he came while moaning Phil's name loudly. 

He dropped his eyes and  watched his come go over Phil's hand. As he started to come down from his high, hips still rolling but gently into Phil's hand, he realized that he had never done that before. Came into someones had, had someone work him down from his release. His breathing was labored and he looked back up to Phil's eyes again.

Phil smiled gently at Dan after watching him come. 

"So beautiful," Phil whispered and kissed his lips sweetly he let go of the other boys cock, but let his hand play along his sides. Caressing him again, he wanted to hold him now, keep him close and protect him from this terrible night life world. But he couldn't. He laid next to him watching the younger boys chest go up and down.

Dan was calming down and with that came confusion again, okay, that was something he had not experienced before. Dan turned on his side to face Phil, he didn't speak for a second. 

"So.. do you want me to relieve you of your problem baby?" His eyes running over Phil's body and stopping at his pants before returning to his eyes and smirking. Dan didn't feel so sure of himself right now, he had to have a good think about whatever _that_ was later, but for now he needed to keep his professional face on.

Phil reached over and touched the younger boys face gently. A shame that no mater what Phil did for him, he would always think he had to do something more in return, and think he wasn't allowed to have someone want to just please him. 

"No, I'm fine, you were perfect," Phil said softly,.

"How was I perfect? I didn't do anything," Dan said looking at him in confusion.

Phil suddenly felt very self conscious of what had just happened. The younger boy was probably expecting him to either ask for more or to pay him and leave. But Phil just wanted to lay with him and look over his face, appreciate how perfect his face was. Phil let his fingers play along Dans neck and shoulder working down his side. 

"Have you ever seen anyone outside of work?" Phil asked cautiously. He didn't want this to be the only time he got to see that perfect face in pure bliss.

Dan didn't really know how to answer Phil's question, he hadn't ever seen anyone outside of work, he didn't understand that kind of thing.

"I like to keep professional when it comes to that sort of interaction," He didn't stop Phil touching him though, he still liked how if felt, and he still wanted to kiss him. 

He reached over and grabbed a box of wet wipes beside the bed and cleaned Phil's hand, not bothering about himself.

"Thank you," Phil said letting the other clean him. He felt a bit disheartened... If he wanted to see him again he would have to come back to this place. Phil sat up and started buttoning up his shirt, he didn't want to go but he had no place left here. Rather let Grey finish his evening without someone bothering him. Phil shifted to take his wallet out of his pocket. 

"How much do I...?" Phil felt uncomfortable, never having done anything like this before.

Dan didn't even know what to charge, he had never had this happen before. He went for the bare minimum, time and the minimum for any sexual activity. He opened the wallet in Phil's hands and took out the notes to equal the amount he needed, showing Phil what he took. Dan sat up.

"Thank you for your company this evening Phil, it has been _my_ pleasure. He smirked a little. Really hoping this boy came back again.

Phil smiled back at Dan. 

"I'm glad," he said softly, he was truly happy that he was able to give this boy at least one night of pleasure. 

He didn't know what all of his other nights of work were like, but seeing the guy who came in to see Grey, and how confused the young boy looked when Phil wanted to focus on his pleasure. Phil put together that no one ever focused on him that much. Phil got up putting on his shoes and walking out the door of the room. He took one last glance at the most beautiful boy he had ever seen before leaving. Walking back through the club and not taking another glance back. He needed some time now to figure himself out after he tossed aside morals tonight for pleasure.

 


	3. Prostitutes Arn't Paid To Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It begins...

As soon as Phil had left the room Dan flopped back on the bed. 

"Fuck," He muttered. 

What was that? Why did Dan like it so much? He decided to move on. It was a cute customer, he got him off. Sure, it hadn't ever happened like that before, and he was never called 'beautiful' before... But he was probably never gonna see him again. He would pretend this never happened and not dwell. Dwelling can be bad in this industry.

Phil made it back to his own empty apartment. He hadn't been single for that long. His last relationship ended rough too, but had that given him an excuse to pay someone for sex? Phil thought about the night, they hadn't had what most people would consider sex, but the connection was there and intense. 

He laid down on his own bed and unzipped his pants, he neglected himself all night but now so desperately needed to get himself off. As he touched himself images of the perfect boy from the club came into his mind. He wasn't ok with what he did, but right now he pushed those thoughts aside to allow himself to get off to thoughts of the boy. It wasn't like he was going back ever again.

 

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

 

The rest of the week passed and Dan didn't see the black haired boy, not that he would admit that he was looking. He carried on as normal, seducing clients, getting them to want his body then giving it to them. It was all Dan knew, and therefore what he did. 

Another week passed, and Dan was still looking, but more out of curiosity. He had managed to convince himself that it wasn't as intense as he first thought. He must have been blowing it out of proportion in his memory.

Finally two weeks had past since Phil had visited club and had his night with Grey. He didn't know how he ended up back here but there he was sitting at the club again watching the dancers on stage, waiting to see the most beautiful boy perform again. Phil needed to see him, needed to talk to him. Maybe it was want, but the want had driven him so insane it felt like need. This time he was alone in the club, that must look pathetic. Now he looked like one of the rich and powerful business men who come to prey on the young and beautiful boys who go on stage.

 

Dan went on stage expecting it to be like every other night but as his eyes locked on to Phil's he smiled, he came back. He did his routine, and if was honest he made it more extreme than usual just because he knew _he_ was watching. 

It was soon after hours and Dan had every intention on ignoring the boy unless he addressed him directly. Phil watched him intensely, the younger boy didn't approach him. Phil wondered if maybe he didn't recognize him, it had been a few weeks, and Dan saw new people all the time. Phil stared at him watching to see what he did without him.

Another client approached Dan, a regular and Dan was acting his normal working self. 

"How are you this evening?" He asked his client, turning to smirk at Phil.

Phil felt his stomach tighten seeing someone else go up to the beautiful boy. The way he smirked at Phil sparked something, he had to remember who he was. Phil got up and quickly crossed the distance to Grey. He rested a hand gently on his arm. He probably wasn't supposed to touch him but honestly didn't care. 

"Aren’t you booked already tonight?" Phil said starring at the younger boy hoping he understood Phil was trying to get him to himself. Phil felt nervous, he didn't even know if Grey wanted to see him again.

"Hmm... am I?" Dan smirked turning towards Phil. Eyes running over him, he instantly ignored the other, regardless of it being unprofessional. 

He noticed Phil was touching him, but didn't comment on it. He was glad this boy was back, but wasn't entirely sure why. Phil swallowed glancing between the businessman and the younger boy. He withdrew his hand. 

"Y-yes. You are," He made a gesture with his head cocking to the side to signal Dan he wanted to move away from the business man to talk to him.

Dan smirked and turned to the business man for a second. 

"Sorry love, looks like I have been pre-booked, maybe next time," He turned and started to walk towards a booth before sitting and looking at Phil expectantly. "So?"

"I wanted to see you again," Phil admitted a bit shyly. "I just want to talk to you, that's all, I'll pay you for your time I swear," Phil scooted a bit closer he felt beyond nervous now.

Dan almost wanted to say yes, but he couldn't. That wasn't his job. 

"Phil, I'm not a therapist, I don't get paid for talking. You can pay me for sex, for sexual activities, as that's what I do," He waited, wondering if that meant Phil was gonna leave now.

 

"Then I'll have sex with you," Phil said a bit rushed, his face flushed when the other boy said his name, two weeks later after meeting one night and he remembered his name. 

"But will you let me talk?" Phil moved his hand to rest on Dans hip. "I couldn't stop thinking about you". 

He knew he sounded so cliche and lame, how many men have come in here had a night with Grey and not been able to forget him. Wanted him, the other customer Phil had just seen approach the younger boy wanted him too. Phil wondered if he would end up like them, coming here in search for paid love many times a week, hoping for a chance, being shot down some nights. Phil swallowed and looked at the beautiful boys eyes.

Dan bit his lip playfully and smirked again. 

"Of course I'll let you talk baby, you know the rules, whatever you want from me tonight you can have it," and just like that Dan was owned again for the night, he sometimes thought about it and hated it. How the mention of being paid made someone literally own and control his movements until they decided they were done with him, but that was life for Dan.

Phil smiled and didn't think anything of it when he leaned in to kiss the beautiful boys cheek. 

"Lets go back to your room then, its quieter there," Phil ran his hand gently along Dans side. So happy that he could have another night caressing the other boys soft skin again.

Dan met Phil's eyes and smiled again, Phil had gotten a little more confident in his time away. 

"Like I said, Whatever you require Phil."

He slipped his hand onto Phil's waist to guide him through the crowd and back to the room, once there he sat down, eyes running over Phil. 

"How can I be of service?" He said with a cocky smile.

Phil slipped off his shoes and sat on the bed next to Dan. Now that they were away from the crowd he felt more secure. Phil leaned in and brushed his lips agains Dans softly. 

"Talk to me," he whispered and pressed his lips a bit harder against the younger boys, "I want to know more about you," one hand moved up to plan in Dans hair, brushing it back out of his face.

Dan kissed back as he tried to think of how to respond. 

"Well _that_ is a very vague question," He commented hand moving towards Phil's sides without Dan really giving them permission to as he felt Phil's lips moving against his.

Phil shuffled back a little on the bed and pulled Dan closer to him. 

"What do you do when you're not at work?" Phil asked leaning back so they were laying down now on their sides. His hand worked downward to caress the younger boys hip.

"Probably the same stuff you do when you're not at work," Dan muttered as he tried to _not_ enjoy this. But he was enjoying it, he couldn't help it. It wasn't his fault Phil was a near perfect kisser.

Phil laughed softly, something about all this just seemed so normal, in a very abnormal way. 

"I play video games and go to movies and drink coffee," Phil said casually. 

Smiling a little as he pulled away to look at the perfect boy. Phil moved to the front of Dans pants and flicked open the button, tugging his pants down slightly. Phil moved his hand to caress the younger boys stomach instead.

"Me too," Dan said, smirking. He kissed Phil harder, because he wanted to. But if you asked Dan why he did it he would say it was for Phil's pleasure. "Why do you want to know things about me?" He muttered. "There isn't a lot to know".

"Sure there is, you're a human with a life, there's always things to learn," Phil said and kissed Dan deeply for a moment. "Where do you go get coffee?" Phil asked and sat up to tug Dans pants off before leaning over him and kissing his neck.

"Mmhhh... Different places," Dan answered, hands running over Phil's sides and then up his arms and across his shoulder blades. He felt like he was cheating at working by actually _enjoying_ Phil's touches.

Phil moved his hand to start palming Dan through his underwear. 

"Would you ever go get coffee with me?" Phil was prepared for rejection but threw it out there anyway. Grey had already established last time they were like this that he didn't do anything with anyone outside of work. But would a simple coffee date be a big deal.

"I don't know... Do you have a kink for sex in public places?" Dan smirked at him, avoiding his question and shooting one back. He bit his lip and rolled his hips against Phil's hand a little. He was doing it again, making sure Dan felt good.

Phil blushed. 

"No, I just wanted to spend time with you," He said a bit shyly. 

He sat back and started undoing his shirt. Then quickly shoving it off his body and leaning back over Dan, their bare chests touching now Phil kissed his neck and jawline. 

"Wheres a place you've always wanted to travel?" Phil asked and he rolled their hips together.

"Japan," Dan answered as his hands went to Phil's hips, running over the bone that was exposed now due to Phil's bare torso. He extended his neck up, liking how Phil's mouth felt as he let out a soft noise.

Phil smiled happy to have finally gotten an answer from him. He was human after all. 

"I wanted to visit there too," He said and flicked his tongue against Dans neck. Phil rolled his hips again and wanted to feel the younger boy closer. "Undo my pants," Phil said softly. 

He didn't like having to tell the other what to do, it should just be natural. But that wasn't how it was, and if Phil wanted anything he had to do it, Grey's way.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll upload Chapter 4 today in a few hours, since this chapter is so short.


	4. Feels Better Than Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil has sex with Dan.

Dan smiled, Phil was talking his language now. He did as requested, undoing Phil's pants and running his hand lightly over Phil's bulge. Dan was gentle by nature, and therefore was gentle unless required not to be, even when his clients weren't often gentle with him.

"I love the fashion scene there, just seems amazing," He said as he hummed a soft noise in appreciation of Phil's tongue on his neck. 

He knew from last time Phil liked it when he enjoyed it, he didn't want Dan to just go through the motions it seemed. With Phil close like this, it was perfectly okay with Dan. As long as he didn't think about it for to long. Phil rocked his hips against Dan's and let out a soft sigh. 

"Yeah? I like the media there, movies, and games," Phil moved back to Dan's lips nipping lightly at the bottom one before kissing him passionately.

Phil reached down to tug his pants off, but getting frustrated sat back and removed them, tossing them off the bed before crawling back over Dan and reconnecting their lips. 

"I like the games and films there too, and anime," Dan pulled Phil back to him when he had taken his pants off and kissed him deeply 

"What music do you like?" Phil asked just trying to learn every bit he could about this boy to make him seem more human.

"All music," he muttered before kissing him again and rolling his hips. "Favorite band is muse," Dan was losing himself again because of this persistent beautiful boy on top of him. Phil smiled happily.

"Copier, they are mine too," he said gently and pressed his hips harder against Dans. Phil ran his hand down Dan's thigh and guided his leg up to rest on Phil's hip. He wanted to hear more noises from the beautiful boy. "Favorite movie? Mines Kill Bill".

Dan helped to hook his leg over Phil's hip and moaned needfully when they rolled their hips at the new angle. 

"Anything by Quinten Tarintino... and Moulin Rouge," he said the end a little quieter, as he was aware of the irony in that being his favorite film. 

He gripped Phil's hips and pushed him down more against him before his hands slid down to Phil's ass instead.

 

Phil smirked, he was quite familiar with that film. He felt the younger boys hands on him, he liked that the other was showing a want for him. Phil reached over to the side table and opened the top drawer finding lubricants of all different kinds, condoms and much more. He grabbed what he needed and shut the drawer. Phil didn't want to ask but he had to. 

"What are the rules for sex?" He asked shyly sitting back a little and massaging the other boy through his underwear.

"Condom," Dan said a little breathily. "That's about it. You can decide everything else pretty much," he shrugged and looked at Phil. "Was there something in particular you were after?" he wondered whether Phil was wanting something kinky or not.

Phil shook his head. 

"That was all I needed to know," Phil unhooked Dans leg from around his waist to pull his underwear off. 

He started stroking the younger boy properly now there was no fabric blocking him. Everything Phil did the other boy would ask if it was a kink, did no one come here just for something average? He kind of assumed not, or else why would they have to pay someone to have sex with them. And after what Phil saw in the top drawer he was kind of nervous what was in the rest. 

He wanted to look through them sometime though. he scolded himself for thinking 'sometime', that meant he had intentions of coming back. And he did. Phil lifted his fingers to his mouth and licked them, then decided he much rather have the other lick them. He put his fingers next to the younger's mouth. 

"Open," Phil said gently running his fingers along the others slightly parted lips.

Dan took Phil's fingers into his mouth and sucked on them, running his tongue along them. So he was bottom tonight. He assumed he would be, and he liked the idea of being under Phil like that. He assumed the finger sucking and minor stretching would be cause Phil wanted to touch him before fucking him rather then to actually prepare him properly.

Phil watched the other suck his fingers for a little bit then slipped them out. 

"I'll be careful not to hurt you," Phil said pushing Dans hair aside and kissing his forehead. 

He placed a finger carefully at the other boys entrance teasing around before pressing inside. Watching Dans face to make sure he wasn't in any pain. Although someone like Dan probably wouldn't be in pain from just one finger if he did this every other night he might even be loose. But Dan was tight still, amazingly so. Phil moved his finger in and out before pressing the second one in, never once looking away from Dans face.

Dan almost awed at Phil's comment, this boy was kind of precious. 

"Wait you're actually gonna stretch me first? Mmh, must have put you in a good mood," he rolled his hips into Phil's finger, enjoying the feeling.

"Do people usually not?" Phil said furrowing his brow. "You could get really hurt," Phil kissed gently along Dans jaw and back to his lips. He moved his fingers inside the younger boy, stretching him carefully.

Dan met Phil's eyes. 

"It happens," he couldn't keep the bitter tone out his voice. He moaned a little more and started fucking himself onto Phil's fingers.

Phil hated that thought, he didn't like the idea of someone else having sex with this perfect boy in the first place, but knowing they don't even properly take care of him. It was the worst. 

"Well I wont hurt you," Phil said looking back at Dan. He curved his fingers as he thrust them in and out of the younger boy. "No one ever pays proper attention to you," he whispered and started kissing along Dans neck, getting close to his ear and nipping at the soft skin there. "Do you have any kinks you like?" Phil asked.

He knew what the answer would be, it was always the same whenever Phil asked what the other liked sexually. Grey liked whatever the person paying for him wanted him to like.

"Why would they? That's what they pay for. To shut up and take it," he was losing himself in the way Phil's fingers were moving and no longer thinking about his answers so much. "You are though," he added. Almost with a questioning. "Me and my kinks are not the point, my kinks are what you decide them to be."

"Of course," Phil replied a bit sadly. 

He looked over the other boys face appreciating how beautiful he was, getting lost in what pleasure felt like. 

"Why do you stay?" Phil moved his fingers more searching for the younger boys sweet spot.

Dan rolled his hips up and let out a whine because Phil's fingers where close to that spot, he could feel it. 

"Mmh... It's my job. I dunno. I just. Yeah," he stopped talking for a second. "I don't know, its what I know. I like being wanted"

Phil nudged the other boys neck with this nose. He liked how much the other was opening up to him, but it made him sad. That's what he got for trying to learn about a person who sells themselves. He couldn't expect to hear something happy. 

 

"I'd want you, even if I didn't own you," Phil whispered and kissed Dans neck. He heard the younger boy whine slightly and Phil moved his fingers more, he wanted to show the other boy that he could make him feel good. "How did you get here?" Phil asked softly, a bit nervous to know the answer if Grey would answer him.

Phil's fingers brushed that spot and Dan moaned loudly. 

"Mmmh Ahh. No you wouldn't," he responded to Phil's comment then tensed up as he heard his question. "No." He shook his head. "I'm not talking about that," he said still shaking his head. He didn't even let himself think about that. Let alone talk about it.

"That's fine, I'm not going to make you talk about something you don't want to," Phil kissed the younger boys forehead to comfort him and pulled his fingers out. "I'll let you forget about the bad things, it's just you and me," he whispered kissing Dans cheek now. Phil sat back to tug his own underwear off before leaning back over the young boy and kissing him deeply. "Touch me," Phil said softly.

"Why are you nice about it?" Dan asked as he leaned closer and started stroking the other boys cock. "Is this some game? You're gonna lull me into a false sense of security then get all rough," he looked at him a little warily. 

He hadn't come across anyone like this before. Phil almost acted like he cared, which was stupid. No one cared about Dan.

Phil looked back at Dan.

"Why would I do that? " He didn't understand why the younger boy had such a hard time believing that someone didn't want to hurt him.

Dan shrugged and looked away before pulling Phil closer end kissing him. Kissing, doing these things made Dan feel like he knew what he was doing. This talking business made him feel... Open. And he didn't like it. He kissed him harder and started stroking Phil's cock quicker, moving his hand in ways that would make him feel as good as Dan could make him feel from his hand.

Phil let out a soft moan, letting the conversation fade away, it was only making the younger boy uncomfortable. Phil reached over and grabbed the condom he took out and sat back. Eyeing over the younger boy for a moment and caressing his stomach before tearing open the condom and putting it on himself. Phil took the lubricant and poured a heavy amount onto his hand, coating himself with it first before stroking the other boys cock too.

Then he opened Dans legs more and leaned over him kissing his jaw before moving to his mouth. His cock teasing along the young boys entrance, he wanted to wait, ask if the other was ready, but that seemed to frustrate the younger boy. So he pushed in slowly covering just the tip before looking over the others face to make sure he was ok.

Dan ran his hand over Phil's side and made a soft 'hmm' noise as he felt Phil push in slightly, he liked that Phil was checking he was okay, even though he would never admit it. For a small while he could pretend he was cared about. 

So that's exactly what he did. He nodded to show Phil he was okay as he caressed Phil's skin. Eyes meeting Phil's and locking. Phil pushed in farther, holding back sounds of pleasure. As always he wanted to make sure the younger boy was feeling good above himself. He didn't break eye contact and tried so hard to read what was hidden behind those eyes. Once fully inside he still didn’t move, even though he had stretched him, the other boy was still so tight. And Phil didn't want to hurt him, wanted to prove that he wasn't out to hurt him, ever.

Dan licked his lips and then bit on his lower one because he actually wanted this. He didn't really remember _wanting_ someone to continue in this situation before. Usually he just didn't care and just focused on trying to be the best he could possibly be. He ran a hand over Phil's chest before it going back to his hip. 

"I'm okay, you can move," he said quietly. Phil was quite large and he was thankful for him being careful, no matter how many times you end up underneath someone it still hurts when you aren't stretched properly. Also Dan's job relied on him being tight, so it wasn't as if Dan let the sex make him less so. 

Some of his coworkers thought he was crazy for that as it made it harder for him, but exercises and a bit more pain made him earn far more than they did. Dan made a light moan as Phil started moving. Their eyes still locked. 

"Why is someone like you here?" Dan decided to ask a few questions of his own.

"What do you mean like me?" Phil asked, although he was sure what the other meant. Phil wasn't a lonely business man hiding his sexuality. "My friends like exotic dancers, I came along," Phil replied. Rocking his hips slowly letting his mouth hang open ever so slightly to let out soft sighs.

Dan was kind of transfixed on Phil's face. He looked even more attractive now that he felt good. Dan rolled his hips up to meet Phil's and made a small moan before answering. 

"Okay, watching us is one thing. I meant here, in my bed. You hardly look like you would struggle to find men".

Phil leaned forward and kissed the younger boys cheek gently. 

"Do I need to? I thought you were liking how young and pretty I am," Phil said moaning as he rolled his hips a bit faster. "Why do you find it so impossible to believe that I like you?" he moved a hand slowly down the others chest to his stomach and stopping to caress his hip.

Dan liked the way Phil kept kissing his cheek, that was something he hadn't experienced since he was a young kid. 

"Oh I am, you're very pretty. I like it a lot," he decided to stop this and show Phil why he was so popular, he had this need to impress Phil now. "Come on baby at least get something out of this you wouldn't usually get from someone, whatever you want baby I can take it," he purred and smirked at Phil rolling his hips more.

Phil moaned louder and started angling his thrusts now. 

"You're assuming I cant get whatever I want from anyone else," Phil said kissing the younger boys lips harshly. 

Dan did it again, any time Phil brought up just liking the other boy, Dan would change the subject to sex, sex was what he knew and understood. Phil made the kiss more gentle.

Dan bit Phil's lip a little harshly then tried to make the kiss harsh again, Phil stopped nearly as soon as he started. Why? Dan wasn't fragile. 

"What I mean is I can do things for you no one else would allow you to do," his hands went to Phil's ass and pushed him forward so he went deeper making Dan moan.

Dan was frustrated because Phil didn't want anything and it made Dan feel like he wasn't performing to his potential. Phil made the kiss harsher like the other boy seemed to be requesting. 

"But you're so perfect like this," Phil pulled away and rolled them over so the younger boy was on top of him now. "Ok, I want you to ride me, you look good pretending to do it on stage, show me you can actually do it," Phil felt like he was only telling Grey what he wanted to hear, Phil just wanted to hold him close and love him. but that didn't seem to be working,.

So again, Phil would do things Grey's way, just to keep him. Dan looked over Phil and didn't start moving straight away, he leaned over and kissed Phil softly, it was out of character, and probably unprofessional and stupid but he couldn't help it. When he pulled back he said softly. 

"Don't let the world, and people like me change you. Ever, okay?" He didn't elaborate, just kissed him softly one more time before starting to do as instructed.

Lifting his hips up and rolling down onto Phil's cock, hands placed on Phil's chest and a look of concentration on his face and his lip was trapped between his teeth again.

Phil moaned watching Dan intently, he didn't understand what the other meant but the confusion was getting mixed around with how amazing the younger boy felt. 

"Wh-what?" Phil asked gripping onto Dans hips and running his hands up the younger boys sides.

"Just don't get tainted, don't let people spoil how you see the world, cause It's really nice the way you see it," Dan said, interrupting himself with a moan as Phil's cock got close to his sweet spot.

He liked this position, he could make himself feel good from it. He kept lifting up and rolling down, expertly moving his hips, he ran his hands over Phil's body, focusing on making the Phil feel good.

Phil still didn't properly understand, where was this coming from, but he let it pass. He moved his hand to start stroking the other boys cock. The other roaming his chest and dragging his nails gently down his chest. He wanted to see this beautiful boy lose himself again, get overwhelmed with pleasure in a way Phil felt he could show him.

Dan made a whining moan as he felt Phil's nails and rolled his hips faster, he smirked and decided to play a little game for a minute so started doing _exactly_ what he had been on stage, knowing Phil remembered watching that. He lifted himself up then dropped himself down onto Phil's cock, making a 'mmhh' noise each time he did, when he dropped down he rolled his body back up then repeated the drop action. Hands running over a few of his own sweet spots and scratching over his ribs and thighs just cause he was used to having to get it himself and he was mimicking his stage performance where he did that also. He winked when he met Phil's eyes and smiled, and concluded that this boy was fun, even if he did ask personal questions.

Phil saw the other boy wink at him and pouted slightly. The younger boy didn't need to seduce him or get his attention, he had it. Phil just wanted his affection. His hand that wasn't stroking Dan's cock followed Dan's hands, scratching his thighs and ribs just as the younger boy had done before him. 

Suddenly Phil flipped them over keeping Dans legs hooked onto his hips and thrust deeply inside of him. Their lips instantly connecting and Phil moaned loudly. 

"I'm sorry love, I just like this positioning," Phil said softly, he liked it cause he didn't feel like he was just laying there and taking pleasure, this way he could be sure he was making the younger boy feel good. He angled his hips and thrust in again.

Dan moaned loudly as the change of position surprised him along with Phil thrusting deeply into him, he kept his legs hooked around Phil and kissed him back eagerly, moaning against the others lips as Phil kept moving into him.

"I don't mind," He said a little breathlessly before reattaching their mouths again and running his hands over his back.

Phil continuously changed his angle trying to find the spot that would have the younger boy lose it. Everything Phil did was always for the others pleasure trying to show him how much he mattered. Phil's hand caressed Dan's thigh gently as he kept the kiss harsh, biting at the beautiful boys lip every now and again.

Dan was making little sounds every time Phil entered him, his hands running all over his skin as he kissed Phil back needfully, returning little bites every now and again as well. Suddenly he let out a loud moan and his hands gripped at Phil's shoulders. 

"Fuck," he muttered. 

Usually clients found it purely by chance, and so therefore it was only hit once or twice before the angle changed again. But he took Phil to be different with this like he was with everything else. After Phil had hit that spot a few times and Dan had let out equally loud noises each time, he tried to angle his hips so Phil didn't hit it. He felt like to much of that and he would lose control, totally get lost in having sex with this gorgeous boy and he had never lost his head during sex, not once.

Phil gripped the younger boys hips to stop him from moving away and thrust deep inside him hitting that spot and not moving for a second. 

 

"Don't move away from me," Phil said softly against Dans lips and moved again. He knew what he was doing, what this felt like for the other boy and he wanted it that way. Wanted him to feel pleasure spark through his body as he thrust hard inside him. Dan let out a groan and his back arched a little, letting Phil in deeper.

 

"Mmh fuck Phil," He moaned "But I don't, haven't, no one does this?" He basically said it as a question as he moaned again and his nails dug into Phil's hips a little.

 

"I do this," Phil said simply continuing his thrusts as he tightened his grip a bit on the younger boys hip. "You're with me right now. Lose yourself for a moment," Phil said softly and kissed along Dans jaw up to his ear.

Dan could feel himself losing it, even though he hadn't even felt that before, but it felt like trust, and that was scary. It was like he was trusting this boy, but he would be the same as the others, they are all the same, this one just _felt_ different. But Dan couldn't think like that.

"I don't know how," He muttered but then pulled Phil's face to his and kissed him. 

He wanted those lips on his so he just went for it and took it, then it dawned on him that he did know how, because he was so lost right now. Phil smiled and moaned against the others mouth. 

"You are so beautiful," he said moaning again and kissing him. The kiss was rough and passionate, and Phil loved it, never imagined he would end up here having sex with an escort. Escort was just a fancy term for it, not at all what the younger boy actually was. 

 

"What do you want me to do?" Phil said softly his hand moving up to run through the beautiful boys hair and slowly run down his neck.

Dan was quiet for a minute before saying in almost a whisper.

"Come back," He didn't even mean to say it, but it was true. 

_That_ was what he wanted. He moaned again and one hand fisted in the sheets beside him, the other still gripping Phil's hip.

Phil felt his heart tighten at the words, it was so simple yet so sad. All the younger boy wanted was for him to come back. Phil leaned over Dan and kissed his forehead and cheek and lips. 

"I will, I love you, I'll come back, every week, I love you," Phil repeated placing more kisses along the boys face. 

He jumped quickly to saying love but didn't care that was how he felt it wasn't like they took time to get to know each other either before having sex, love was what he felt, the enchantment when he watched the beautiful boy.

Dan knew Phil didn't love him, but for once maybe it would feel nice to pretend it was real. He kissed back, and there was emotion in it, he could feel that much, but Phil was ' _in love_ ' with what Dan pretended to be, not him, he didn't know him. He didn't even know his name. 

"Mmhh Phil," he whined against his mouth. "Faster, please," he rolled his hips down against Phil as Phil kept hitting his sweet spot and Dan's mind just blanked, all there was in existence was him, Phil and the feeling of him inside him. It was the most intimate thing he could imagine.

Phil obliged and thrust faster making sure to keep at the same angle every time. Everything felt so amazing, even Phil felt like he could forget where they were, what this all was. His hand worked down and he started to stroke the younger boys cock in time to his thrusts. Like last time, Phil would make sure Dan would come before he would.

Dan was moaning loudly with every thrust now, getting louder when Phil's hand wrapped around Dans cock 

"Mmhhh, fuck, I'm close, Phil shit," It still felt weird announcing that, He kissed phil deeply hands on Phil's ass as he rolled his hips up into Phil's hand and down onto the older boys cock. It was too much and the pleasure was overpowering everything else.

Phil moaned too, thrusting inside the beautiful boy. 

"Mmm, Grey, come for me," Phil whined his hand moving expertly as he continued stroking him. That was the first time he had used the younger boys 'name' in bed.

Dan made a face when he heard the name 'grey' almost flinching, but he didn't have time to reflect on it because a few thrusts from Phil after that he was moaning Phil's name and coming hard over Phil's hand. 

"Mmhh fuck, shit," he whined, his hand scratched down Phil's back and the other stayed on his ass, his eyes fluttered shut as everything blanked for a moment and all that existed was Phil. Phil. He opened his eyes again and met Phil's 

"Mmh Phil I want you to come," He didn't know if Phil wanted to come like this or if he wanted to do something else, dan got all sorts of requests with how people wanted to finish, but he left it for Phil to decide, obviously.

Phil made a whining moan when Dan scratched him but kept moving. He changed the angle so he wasn't hitting Dan's prostate anymore and relaxed against the younger's body, continuing his thrusts and moving to kiss along Dans neck, 

"I will," Phil said softly he slowed down some moving at the pace he needed to send himself over. 

He continued running his hand along the other boys body appreciating how amazingly smooth his skin way and how warm it felt under his hand. Phil searched and found Dans hand bringing it to Phil's own skin. 

"Touch me like this," Phil said softly moving his hand back to caressing Dans skin and kissing the beautiful boy gently, then again a bit harder.

Dan moved his hands over Phil the way he wanted him to, kissing him back at the pace Phil set and at the same time he tensed his lower half, making himself tighter for Phil, wanting to pull him over the edge as well. He moved his kisses to Phil's neck, mumbling little comments and he kissed and licked over the skin. "You're perfect," "you sound so good," "I can't wait to see your face when you let go," “you're beautiful," He kept up his little touches to Phil's body throughout.

Phil moaned and started moving a bit faster, 

"Ah fuck," Phil moaned tilting his neck some to give the younger boy more access. "Scratch me," again Phil didn't like having to tell the other person what he wanted or what to do, but he would do it to have this chance. Phil's thrusts became harder as he started getting closer.

Dan scratched at Phil's back and continued to roll his hips so that Phil went deeper, he bit at Phil's neck, not hard enough to leave a mark but so Phil could feel it. The older boy sounded so good to him right now.

Phil moaned loudly at the two sensations, pleasure from inside Dan and the pain from the bite and scratches. 

"Harder," Phil said moaning and continuing his thrusts. "God I'm close," he said in a breathy moan.

Dan ran his nails harder down Phil's back, and bit a little harder at his neck.

"Don't hold back when you come Phil I want to hear you properly," Dan said, his voice low and a bit hoarse sounding from all the moaning he had done earlier.

Phil moaned with each thrust, no mater what Dan thought, Phil was sure he was in love with this boy. 

"Fuck," Phil gasped before moaning loudly, coming inside Dan, the come getting trapped by the condom of course. Phil collapsed over the younger boy moving down to kiss his lips gently.

Dan moaned lightly as he heard Phil's noises and watched his face as he reached his high, kissing him back softly when he felt his lips against his own again, his arms tightened around Phil without Dan really noticing.

"You are so beautiful," Phil said softly moving to kiss down Dan's neck. He didn't want to come back to reality yet, this felt too perfect and it was all going to be shattered the second their activities stopped. He would have to wait another week before he could have this piece of the world again.

 


	5. What If It Makes You Sad, At Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil try's to convince Dan to go on a date. Dan get's himself two more customers.

Dans breathing started to calm more and he extended his neck for Phil to kiss, his hands ran over Phil's skin, just touching him everywhere, memorizing his shape with his hands, the texture of his skin, everything. Dan felt something for Phil, in this moment he could admit this to himself, even though when this calm went away he would deny it. It scared the shit out of him, he didn't understand it. It was foreign and new but in this moment he liked it, just for now. 

With his hands tracing patterns over Phil's skin and the calm silence apart from their breathing, this was okay.

Phil rolled to the side keeping his hand delicately on the younger boys neck. He was afraid to break the silence, for a second this all felt so normal, just two people who liked each other. But Phil would have to face the reality sooner or later. He chose later as he leaned over to kiss Dans lips gently. 

"You are amazing," Phil said softly keeping his lips close.

Dan didn't speak just shook his head and kissed Phil again. He wasn't. He really wasn't. One of his hands moved to Phil's face and his knuckles ran over his cheek bone before he cupped the side of his face, keeping the kiss soft. He didn't want to end this.

"I love you," Phil whispered without thinking but instantly felt a lump in his throat knowing the younger boy couldn't possibly feel the same way about him. 

But Phil couldn't deny himself what he felt. All he wanted was to know more about this boy and keep him close, give him sweet kisses and take him out in public. Not let this dark secretive room be the only place where Phil could love him.

Dan faltered for a second, before mumbling.

"No you don't," sounding a little sad. 

Dan didn't really understand love, and how it works, but he was pretty sure out of all the men Dan had met, Phil would be the best one to have love him. But he didn't love him. He felt lust for him, he liked how he could move his hips and have sex. He didn't know who Dan was, hell, Dan didn't even know who Dan was anymore.

Phil knew that would be the other boys response. He didn't expect anything else but that. 

"Let me take you out then, coffee, dinner, walking, I don't care, anywhere you want, let me fall in love with you," Phil said and ran his hand through Dans hair not looking away from his eyes.

 

Dans eyes flicked over Phil's face, seeing how genuine he was, but why? Why would he even want someone like him? 

"Phil... Do you know how many perfect nice people are out there? That aren't prostitutes, hookers, whores, cause that's what I am, Phil. I am not something to aspire to love, I'm unworthy of any such thing," He kissed Phil again, needing to feel his lips on his again. "I'm just not the kind of person you want to love".

Phil caressed Dans face gently bringing his face close to kiss him again. 

"There is more to you then just that," Phil said kissing him more. "If it's a mistake fine, let me make that mistake myself, just give me one date," he didn't know what he was trying so much. There was nothing this boy did to deserve this devotion, but Phil just felt there was so much more to him besides stripping and sex.

 

"Phil, you don't even know anything about me," Dan said as he drew patterns on Phil's side."All you know is that I let people fuck me and take money for it, I take my clothes off on stage to advertise myself, basically walking around saying ' _who wants to fuck me_ ', that's my life, that's what its been for three years. So it pretty much is all there is to me, I don't know anything else," He met Phil's eyes and for a second lost composure and looked scared. He didn't mean to tell Phil that he started this when he was sixteen either. He swallowed harshly and looked away.

 

Phil saw how scared he looked for a second and his heart froze. 

"I'm sorry," Phil wanted to hold the boy now more then ever, he started at sixteen. That was way too young, Phil thought he was young already but knowing that the beautiful boy was even younger when he started... What happened to him? It should have driven Phil away but instead it made Phil more curious, more protective. It upset him to think that he had been put into this place. A teenager who's brain is still developing. It was not surprising he had no idea that he was worth much more then what someone will pay for him. Phil leaned up and kissed Dans forehead. 

 

"Just one date, and if you hate me after it I can go away, I'll never bother you again,"

 

"If you come back," Dan blurted out, still in a post sex haze and wasn't filtering his thoughts the way he should. "If you come back, then maybe at some point I will say yes. But I don't understand, most people date to get sex, you already have that, you can obviously afford it, so why make the effort to try get to know me? You can get whatever you want sexually from me, so I don't get it?" 

He honestly didn't. To Dan, it looked like people dated to get the object of their desire into bed, Dan offered that to the world on a silver platter, so what did Phil _want_ from going on a date? 

"If it's the location, that can be sorted, I do house calls when requested," He felt the haze lifting a little, and therefore his walls going back up again and professional Dan was making another appearance.

Phil jumped up slightly on his arm. 

"Do you!" He said excitedly, the location wasn't a problem but he did like the idea of bringing the beautiful boy home with him. "I don't care at all about the location, I just think you and I would have fun, ya know, like friends but more, obviously," Phil reached over to play with Dans hair. "We have the same interests outside of sex".

 

"We have a couple, you only know a few things about me," Dan said allowed but added in his mind 'I'm messed up, you don't want to be involved with this' "And yes, I do house calls, but that costs more," He said it on purpose, highlighting what he was. 

"You don't get it though, you're gonna leave in a few minutes, I'm gonna take an hour and go shower and stuff then I will be back out there again, for someone else to fall in love with what I can do for them for a few hours," He sat up but didn't make any effort to move away yet.

Phil was suddenly brought harshly back to reality, realizing that the younger boy had sex with multiple people a night, not just him, and Phil still being here 

"I'm sorry, I'm using up your time aren’t I?" Phil said moving away and getting up to get dressed. "They don't love you, like you said they love what you do, but I meant what I said," Phil pulled his pants on and leaned back over the bed bringing their faces close leaning in to kiss but not connecting their lips. "I'm coming back for you".

Dan leaned up and nearly kissed him before smirking and putting his hand into Phil's pocket and taking his wallet out, again taking what he owed like last time and slipping the wallet back into his pocket, keeping the close proximity between them. Dan kept his eyes locked on Phil. 

"See you next time babe," he smirked, he was slipping back into working mode. 

He watched Phil leave then went and did what he needed to, showering, getting himself to look normal again then getting one of the cleaners to redo the room while he went out to see who else wanted to buy him tonight. He went to the bar first, desperately needing a drink before he went back up on the stage to sell himself again. He skulled it back, eyes running over what kind of guys where in here tonight.

 

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

 

Phil left the room but didn't leave the building, he didn't want to leave, wanted to continue observing the beautiful boy. But part of him was afraid what he was going to see. He saw Dan come out of the room perfectly clean like nothing had happened between them. Part of him hoped that the other wouldn't see him. The other part wanted him to see he was still around, even without sex Phil would stay around.

Dan needed to make the people in the room see he was available again, so he got on stage and started doing his thing again, mainly around the pole region because it gave him the best scope of the room. It didn't take long before there was a small group of guys around his area of the stage, he walked over and out the corner of his eye saw Phil, that surprised him. Why was he still here?

Phil kept his eyes locked on the younger boy, he was still hypnotized by the way he moved. He kept his seat though, unlike the small group around Dan.  All wanting a chance with that perfect boy, Phil was curious how they actually treated him. The way Grey talked about it made it seem like were abusing him, but that couldn't be right. Why would the younger boy stay if he was being treated badly, there was nothing keeping him here.

Dan dragged his eyes away from Phil and sat on the edge of the stage in the centre of the little crowd he had drawn over. 

"Hello boys," he said smirking eyeing over them. A few of them moved forward and tried to touch him, "Nah ah, no touching... yet," He bit his lip and winked at one guy. "Okay who is just looking and who is actually interested here?" He leaned back and waited, a few stepped forward and a few went away, knowing they couldn't afford what was on offer.

Phil moved his neck a bit to see who stayed. He hadn't experienced this before, both nights he had been with the younger boy Phil got him without hardly any competition. This was much different.

There was four guys still around him. 

"Gonna have to fight this out amongst yourselves boys unless you all want me at the same time," Dan smirked after a bit and eventually two of the guys left, leaving Dan with two in front of him. 

"We both want you, if you're up for it, you look like you could deal with that, you dance slutty enough," The bigger man said as he eyed over Dan like a piece of meat. 

The other guy then spoke as well. 

"Of course he can, look at him, he's basically screaming how slutty he is, aren't you baby?" The man cooed. 

Now, different people needed different things from Dan, some wanted him to come across confident, but some just wanted to tell him how much of a whore he was and for him to take whatever they gave him. He obviously was taking to long to answer because the next second he felt someone grab his face and fingers where shoved into his mouth turning his face away as they 'examined' him. The bigger of the two men spoke again. 

"Answer him whore," He said roughly and Dan nodded and said 

"Mhm, definitely, total slut," as clearly as he could with the mans fingers in his mouth. His eyes locked with Phil, who was sitting behind them and he felt something weird, was it shame? He didn't want Phil to see this, he didn't want Phil to witness what Dan really was.

Phil's eyes widened watching what was happening. He wanted to run over there push the other guys away, keep his perfect delicate boy safe. But he couldn't, and Phil was coming to realize what this world really was like. This is what the younger did all the time. Phil felt a wave of possessiveness fall over him, they were touching _his_ Grey. He didn't like this, he didn't want to be here anymore, but he couldn't leave yet he kept his eyes on the younger boy, wanting nothing more then to hold him close.

Dan looked back up at Phil and almost wanted to apologize for what he was seeing, but he shouldn't have stayed. Why did he stay dammit. 

His face was yanked back to face the men and Dan reached up and massaged his jaw a little, keeping his expression neutral and a small smirk on his face even though his eyes where saying how much he didn't want this. But no one ever noticed that. "Your jaw is gonna hurt more than that later slut, do you have a name? or should I call you slut?" 

Dan looked up. 

"My name is Greyson Bear, but you can call me whatever you want to," He started throwing out his lines that came as second nature to him now, but his eyes kept flicking back to Phil. 

The bigger man pulled him off the stage a little roughly, there were rules but some people just didn't stick to them. He spun Dan around and pushed him so he was bent over and his torso was on the stage. 

"You able to submit to us Greyson?" He said. They weren't going to do anything here, they were just showing everyone that they had dominance over the pretty boy from the stage. 

"Sure I can," He said as his face was pushed against the cold stage and Dan grimaced a little. "Not here though, obviously," He added.

Phil flinched, this was getting hard for him. He didn't want to be here. But he had realized now why Grey was so shocked when Phil was so gentle. This is what he was used to, this is all he had known since sixteen. Phil's heart felt tight. Soon the other would be taken to the room where Phil just had his way and now these two men would do what they wanted. 

Phil looked away for a moment, the poor young boy was going to be shared between two large men and there was nothing neither Phil nor Dan could do about it. That was just Dans job. Phil looked back hoping that the beautiful boy wasn't in pain right now.

Dan was pulled back up harshly. 

"Okay, you guys have made it clear this is happening yes? I need to tell you the rules, then you can do what you wish. first, no kissing," There was no way Dan was letting them kiss him. "Second, if I tell you to stop then you stop, price will be adjusted accordingly," He stressed this point, seeing as these two seemed a little rough. "Condoms, and apart from those things, I can give you whatever it is you request as long as your wallet can accommodate it," He smirked and flicked his hair out his eyes, looking at Phil again.

Phil's heart eased slightly when he heard no kissing. It made him feel like something was his still, these guys could take everything else, but the younger boys kiss was still his. He was scared though that wasn't a lot of rules. The two men could do almost anything to the younger boy, and Phil had to hope that they stopped if Dan said stop. All of this for money, granted it was a lot of money but Phil didn't think there was a price for this. Dans affection was worth more then any dollar amount to Phil.

The men laughed, but nodded. And that was the closest to an agreement Dan was going to get from them. He had no idea what it was that they wanted from him, but he was going to find out. 

"Should we go out back then, now all thats sorted?" Dan smiled at them and basically continued to act, most of this was usual acting for him.

One of the guys grabbed at him again and basically started feeling him up right there, Dans face just stayed blank as he let unknown hands run over him. 

"Just need to check I like what I'm paying for whore," he said "I assume you're clean, never know with your kind, who knows where you've been," Dans eyes where locked on Phil's and it was kind of calming him, but he felt nothing. He was back to feeling nothing inside and acting to get cash but he was trying to tell Phil with his eyes to leave, that he didn't need to witness this. 

"I'm clean," Dan said simply, letting them touch over him and grope him publicly.

Phil shook his head slightly, reading what those eyes were telling him. As much as he wanted to run away he couldn't, he wanted to make sure the younger boy would be ok. He would wait all night if he had to, there was no where else he could go that would give his mind peace when he knew where the beautiful boy was.

Dan dropped Phil's gaze and led the men out the back, he could feel Phil's eyes burning into him, and he just wanted to yell at him 'Do you think I want this?'.

But of course he didn't. Instead he led the men into the cleaned room, removed of any traces of him and Phil and submitted to them for the next two hours, doing whatever they requested and letting them do whatever they wanted to him. 

They weren't nice, the air was full of insults as they tried to put Dan on a lower level, like they could, he already felt as low as he could. They were too rough, then told him to shut up if he yelped in response. It worked out like most nights for Dan. Dan was fucked by two men, taking turns at him and then occupying themselves with other parts of Dans body while the other took a turn. 

They paid and left, and Dan curled up. Letting himself have a few moments of weakness. Usually it didn't bother him so much, but it just contrasted so much from what he had had with Phil. Why did everything come back to Phil in his mind? 

He went and showered again, getting clean. Trying to feel like Dan and not Grey but he didn't know who Dan was anymore. He was done for the night, he had made plenty of money and now he just wanted to get drunk. So he went out to the bar, a few men approached him and he told them he was off the clock and to go bother some other people before sitting at the bar and taking a shot straight away, wincing as it burned his already sore throat.


	6. Talks Like a Gentleman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil go on a walk together.

Phil saw the other two men come out before the younger boy did and he felt like he was breathing in thin air wanting to push them around and shout at them asking how they felt being treated that way. But he couldn't do that he needed to wait to be sure that the beautiful boy was okay.

He waited for what seemed like forever. Finally he saw him come out and he took a deep sigh of relief, the boy looked so tired. Phil saw him shoot down a few men but Phil gathered the courage to go check on him. Phil didn't want sex like the others he just wanted to make sure he was okay. 

Cautiously he made his way closer to him and sat down next to him, he could see now that although showered and clean from any traces of what happened Dan still looked disheveled, maybe it was just because Phil knew what had happened and cared. 

 

"Hey you," Phil said softly, wanting to get his attention before he touched him at all.

Dan looked up. 

"You're still here? Aren't you bored?" He laughed a little, noticing himself how hoarse his voice sounded and hoping Phil didn't, but he knew he would. "If you're here for round two I'm really not up for it tonight," He said, sounding kind of distant as he again contrasted both his experiences from this evening in his mind. "I am off the clock now". He added. Taking a sip of his drink and again making a slight face as he swallowed. Fucking, big men needing to prove their power, it always ended up in an uncomfortable few days for Dan.

"You should know me better then that by now," Phil said with a soft laugh, he heard the hoarseness in the younger boys voice. 

It didn't sound like that after he was with Phil, his heart sunk thinking what the other men did to this delicate boy. 

"I was just worried, they seemed like they would hurt you," he watched Dan's face flinching as he swallowed his drink. "You shouldn't drink alcohol right now".

"Yeah well..." He trailed off and drank more. "Need to forget things some how don't I?" Dan was feeling crappy and used up, and he wasn't working so he didn't need to sugar coat this for Phil. Phil would know some of what happened in there, and he needed to face that was reality for Dan. 

"Grey..." He heard one of the barmaids say his name, he turned and saw her put a milkshake with ice cream on the side next to him "Chin up ae? It's not forever". 

And with that she smiled gently and walked away. Dan was the youngest worker there, and the barmaids especially tried to look after him. 

"Thanks Claire," He said smiling appreciatively at her then turned back to Phil.

Phil smiled softly at the other boy, he thought it was nice that in this terrifying world, the younger boy surrounded himself in, that at least there was some kindness to him. 

"That's what you should be eating right now," Phil said cautiously reaching over to smooth Dans hair down.

"It's still gonna hurt no matter what I eat," Dan said quietly but put his drink down and started eating the ice cream, looking at Phil then away again, but not commenting on him touching him. "Why are you here though?" Dan asked suddenly.

"I told you, I was worried. and now that you're here I just remembered how much I like seeing you," Phil retracted his hand. "I'm sorry I know you're off work, should I leave you alone?" Phil said sadly. 

As much as he didn't want to go, he didn't want to be a bother either. Phil would happily come in next week and the week after but didn't want to screw up the first night by staying longer then he was welcomed.

"I don't mind," Dan said, honestly he was tired and felt like crap and for some reason having Phil around kind of comforted him, he knew Phil wasn't gonna hurt him, he didn't want to hurt him. "I just won't be very good company," he added as he ran his hand over his neck wincing as he hated having physical reminders of what went on during work hours.

"You're just fine," Phil said softly and returned his hand to Dans hair, gently massaging his head. 

This wasn't right, this wasn't how the younger boy should be treated. But Phil couldn't do anything about that right now. Just try his best to comfort him and let him know he was safe now. 

“There's no where else I'd rather be," Phil gazed at Dans face the young boy looking so exhausted. 

He hated the other men for this, the way they treated the beautiful boy like he was a piece of meat they bought for the night and not a human being.

Dan leaned into the touch a little without really meaning to, but it felt nice, and after the few hours he had just had nice was a good thing. He screwed his face up as he heard the mens voices, basically going into detail about what they did in the room. 

 

"He's worth the money, he really is. Fuck... We both went at him at the same time from opposite ends and swapped around and stuff, yeah? He was choking on it, actually choking on it, should have seen his face,  all flushed and what not. Lifting his hands like he wanted us to stop but not like he could say it with his mouth that full was it". 

The group laughed and Dan shuddered, he hated the people like that, and the world was full of them. He glanced at Phil then away, hoping Phil couldn't hear, that feeling came back from before, the one that felt like shame.

Phil's stomach tightened, he felt so angry wanting to turn around and punch them both in the face. Phil never felt violent or angry, but he was defensive for this boy. 'worth the money' no this perfect boy wasn't worth the money he was worth more then anyone could ever afford. The horrible image in Phil's head of what they did, vibrantly painted by their words, and the young boy not being able to do anything. Now Phil really understood why the delicate boys throat hurt so badly.  

Phil looked at Dan, he scooted a little closer and pulled the boy gently to his shoulder. 

"You're worth more than anything they will ever be, and anyone they will ever get," he said softly hoping he wasn't over stepping his boundaries.

Dan was quiet for a second before saying.

"Well they got me didn't they?" Looking at Phil. "Anyone can have me, that's why I'm not worth the time you're spending on me," 

He heard the men say that they will definitely come back to him again and cringed, he could handle it, didn't mean he enjoyed it.

"And I'm telling you you're worth more then you're selling yourself for," Phil said a bit more sternly. He didn't want these men to come back. To hurt him again. He became gentle again. "Are most of your," he paused thinking what the word was. "Clients, like them?" 

He pet Dans hair softly massaging his head again, wanting to erase the memory of the night, but knowing it was impossible.

"Yeah, give or take a little on the forcefulness. They aren't the worst," Dan said again leaning into Phil's touch. He didn't know why he was being so open with Phil right now, he was just exhausted and used up. Phil was paying attention to him, not wanting to make use of his body, and it was a novelty to Dan.

Phil felt slightly sick, these weren’t the worst people to have come in here looking for this perfect boy. Phil turned his head and kissed the top of Dans head. 

"It's ok you're safe right now," Phil whispered. He didn't want this boy to go through any of this anymore, but he didn't know what he could do to convince him that there was so much more in the world for him then this.

Dan just nodded then went back to drinking his alcohol, ignoring the burn.

"It's fine, it's just my life," He sighed and had this overwhelming desire to kiss Phil. The idea was comforting to him, and that was odd, he had never wanted that. His eyes went to Phil's lips before looking away.

Phil pulled the small glass away from him. 

"Drink your milkshake," Phil said, holding the alcohol away. Phil saw the quick glance at his lips and smiled a little, he saw that look when they were in bed too. "Drink half of your milkshake and I'll give you a kiss,". Phil said playfully wanting to get the younger boys mind away from everything.

Dan blushed a little knowing Phil noticed him looking at his lips. 

"I'm not a baby," Dan said looking at Phil defiantly, but drinking some milkshake anyway. 

Phil shouldn't even want to kiss him, he knew where his mouth had been and he didn't deserve someone as innocent and pure as Phil on his lips.

"I know you aren’t," Phil said gently and petting his hair. He liked how soft it felt. Phil smiled happy that the young boy was drinking his milkshake. He was too thin anyway. Phil leaned over and kissed Dans cheek. "Thank you for listening to me," he said softly.

Dan smiled, he couldn't help it. He looked at Phil and continued to drink his milkshake as it was helping his throat. The men looked like they were about to leave, but they walked over so they were standing next to Dan. 

"Thanks for tonight babe, we will be back another time, gonna miss that pretty soft mouth of yours," 

Dan didn't say anything just nodded and looked away. He wasn't in the mood to play along and keep up appearances.

Phil shot them a mean look, just as Phil had gotten the younger boy to smile these two horrible men come up and break that calm they had. 

"He's not working now, so just leave him alone," Phil said trying to keep his voice steady, he didn't want to pick a fight, he knew he would lose physically. But he had to at least verbally defend the beautiful boy who was worn out from what he had just been through.

"Are you his pimp or something? Bet he saves all the best tricks for you," One of the men said. "Good boy you got yourself here, I might try push him harder next time, see if he can take it" 

Dan refused to look at them but said.

"I don't talk to clients when I'm not working, nor have them talk about me in ear shot. You got what you paid for now back up alright?" He looked at Phil, it having that calming effect again. He appreciated him standing up for him.

"I'm his friend, and I'm asking you to leave now," Phil never used such a serious tone before, but he had to, the younger boy needed him. 

Phil put a hand gently on Dans back, his heart pounding he was scared he was going to get into a fight. He hoped they would just leave, understand they wern't getting anything else from the beautiful boy and just leave.

They left and Dans breath was a little shaky, sometimes clients were awful when he was out of work. 

"Thank you," he muttered at Phil, he didn't miss that phil had said friend, nor that he himself said he didn't talk to clients out of work hours, but Phil was different. "Days like this I hate it, you know?"

Phil stroked Dans back gently trying to calm both of them down. 

"You shouldn't have to deal with that, especially since you're off work" Phil leaned forward and rested his head against Dans shoulder, still a bit shaken up. "Do you wanna go outside?"

Dan looked at Phil silently for a second and nodded. 

"Okay," and for some reason it felt like a big deal, going outside with Phil.

Phil sighed and stood up leading Dan gently out of the building. When they stepped outside into the summer breeze Phil took a big intake of air. 

"Feels nice to have fresh air again," Phil said softly smiling.

"Yeah, instead of everything smelling like sex and money," Dan said walking along with Phil. 

He still didn't know why he had this boys attention, but he was enjoying it. He stopped and stretched, his muscles hurt from earlier activities as well and he made a face before continuing to walk along.

Phil smiled. 

"Yeah, and look, you're human," Phil said fluffing Dans hair. 

Trying to keep his mood light hearted to make the younger boy feel comfortable.  He looked over the younger boy to really take in his appearance. He was aware now that he was roughly his height, only slightly shorter, and now that he was dressed and not trying to seduce him in anyway Phil felt a lot more relaxed just talking to him.

 

"Doesn't this kind of ruin the image though? Usually people just want to see me all undressed and trying to make them want me, I would think seeing me after work, and scruffy in normal clothes would ruin the appeal," He said looking at the pavement as they walked along. It was calming, just walking with Phil.

 

"I don't mind you this way at all, I feel less intimidated by you now knowing that you can look like a normal human too," Phil kept making glances at Dan, simply appreciating the others presence was so relaxing. 

 

"I'm not intimidating," Dan said smirking a little."We should sit," He said looking at Phil with tired eyes. They passed a bench and Dan sat down "What do you do Phil? What do you do when it isn't the middle of the night"

Phil sat down next to him putting an arm over the back of the bench behind Dan. "I'm a radio host," Phil said simply, not surprised if the other hadn't heard his show before.

"Awesome, what station? Might listen to you sometime," Dan smiled. He was happy Phil had a respectable job, nothing sleazy.

"You will?" Phil said a bit excitedly, he didn’t think the younger boy would actually have an interest. "Radio 1, sundays at 7," Phil looked at Dan. "Y-you don't have to, i'm probably a loser," Phil said laughing softly.

"No I'm sure it's great," Dan said smiling, he felt more at ease talking about Phil rather than himself. "You have the voice for it" he added. He didn't know what he was doing, why he was here, but spending time with Phil was making him relax, almost feel happy.

Phil loved the way the other boy looked when he smiled, he wished he could see it more. this real smile, not the smirk he had when he was dancing. 

"Thank you," Phil's hand found its way to gently touch the soft skin on Dans neck, not sexually, just because he liked the feeling of his skin. "you said you liked video games yeah? whats your favorite?"

"I sound like a child, but any pokemon games, Crash Bandicoot, Sonic, oh god and Final Fantasy," Dan grinned as talking about these things was nice, he never had anyone to share this stuff with "What about you?" 

He leaned into the touch, allowing himself to gain comfort from it. Phil was glad that Dan was comfortable and talking with him casually, they were just learning new things about each other. 

"I'm the worst at Sonic!! But I own it and it's fun, which Final Fantasty is the best? If you don't say seven, I don't think I can see you again," Phil laughed leaning a bit closer to the younger boy.

"Seven, definitely seven," Dan laughed and started humming one of the songs in the game. "I love all of them though, they are all good in different ways but seven beats all the rest"

"Yeah exactly," Phil said laughing, it was nice how they liked the same things. They chatted for a little while longer till Phil yawned. "Oh I'm sorry, I'm sleepy. You probably are too hm?" Phil asked pushing Dans hair out of his face. "I can walk you back home if you want"

"I'm okay, I don't live to far from here," Dan said and smiled, he guessed Phil wouldn't be used to late nights like this, Dan was, but his evening had still made him very tired, he just felt like sleeping for days and forgetting everything. "I have enjoyed our chat though, thank you," Dan said. His hand brushed against Phil's and he smiled "See you around Phil, stay you"

Phil smiled and nodded. 

"Me too, i'll see you soon," Phil said and walked the opposite direction. the night didn't feel like what it was, it didn't feel like he had bought affection for the night. Or he stood up to some other men that the younger boy had sold his body to. Instead it felt like he just spent time hanging out with a close friend. 


	7. Useful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil returns to have another fun night with Dan. But things aren't exactly as planned.

Phil did come back, exactly as he had said a week later. He was hanging out with his friends that night so he had to wait till after they left before he was able to escape and make his way to the younger boy. Already knowing he missed his dance but he could still have a chance with him if he caught him at the right time. Phil would be lying if he said he wasn't excited to see the boy again, and feel his perfect body against his own. 

Phil smiled and hurried his walking pace, making his way to the club in no time at all. He opened the door, stepping inside and looking around, trying to spot the beautiful boy, Grey, in the clutter of people.

Dan hadn't had the greatest of nights, he had definitely had worse, but he wasn't feeling great as he walked back out to the front room. He just wanted to go home, but had only had one customer tonight so far, and his boss wouldn't care that he had been rough, and made Dan uncomfortable. All that mattered was the pay check. 

He had a good poker face on, so no one would realize he wasn't really into this right now, now one looked close enough anyway. He was a vessel to get them off, and that's what he would do. Because then he could go home. His eyes scanned the room for any easy customers, there were plenty.  But Dans eye landed on one in particular, Phil. He felt himself being drawn towards him, he got to him and gave him his seductive smile, paired with a "hey baby" as he bit his lip. 

All the rules of the industry going through his head, how to look at him, how to maximize his sex appeal with every action. It was his job, he didn't get to just leave because he felt off. He had to try his hardest, but he knew he was coming off less enthusiastic than normal, more tired.

Phil smiled and put his hand on Dans waist. The excitement of it all clouding his perception at the moment, he couldn't tell Dan was any less then normal right now. 

"I missed you," Phil said tilting his face up to kiss Dans cheek, he seemed to get away with that sorta thing, even if other customers weren’t allowed to touch him. Phil always could.  "You busy?" Phil asked his hand running down the beautiful boys hip.

Dan liked the feeling of Phil's hands, not that he would ever admit it, but he still wanted to go home, he was sore, he felt sick and was just over tonight. 

"Never too busy for a gorgeous man like you baby," Dan purred out running his hands over Phil's hips. He could do this, he was used to it and he preferred it being someone like Phil, if last time was anything to go by, Phil was definitely different.

 

Phil laughed a little anxiously, he wasn't used to this, still hadn't completely come to terms with what he was doing. But then there was Grey, beautiful Grey, right in front of him, under his hands, his perfect lips so close to his own waiting for Phil to say what he wanted. 

"Wanna go to the back?" Phil asked his voice hesitant.

Dan nodded, really the answer was no. But he wasn't allowed to give that answer " 'Course," he said smirking and taking Phil's hand and leading him out the back. He did kinda like Phil, he was different to other customers, and cute. But really all he wanted was time to feel sorry for himself for a while, alone.

Phil followed close next to Dan, when they got back to the bedroom he sat on the bed, patting the spot next to him. The younger boy sat down on the bed and Phil lifted his hand up to start running through Dans hair. Slowly, he tilted his face up and began kissing him. Pressing their lips together in a gentle but firm kiss. He really did miss this boy.

Dan kissed back, he tried to be enthusiastic about it, but kissing wasn't something he was good at hiding behind. Everything else he did with everyone, kissing wasn't like that, and therefore he hadn't perfected the art of false kissing, it was a little off, but he kept kissing him, it felt nice. Phil seemed the be the perfect kisser, Dan just wasn't in the mood for any of this.

Nervousness filled Phil's body as he felt the lack of enthusiasm in the kiss compared to last time. Phil pulled away only slightly to speak.

"Are you alright? Am I doing something wrong?" Phil asked, a blush tinting his cheeks.

Dan smiled, Phil was kinda sweet. For someone who went to hookers. 

"No baby I'm fine, you're perfect," he purred out, "Don't you worry about me," He felt stupid for almost revealing something wasn't right so kissed him a little more enthusiastically, still not the same as the last time though. This boy was too attentive, why did he even care if something was wrong? That's not what he was paying for.

Phil smiled and moved his hand to Dans hip, pulling him a bit closer. Want began clouding his judgment as he got more into the kiss. There was still something missing but Phil marked it up as just tiredness. Phil had gotten here later so it made sense. As he moved to lay them down he kicked off his shoes over the edge of the bed. Now he was positioned over Dan, he put his knee in between Dans legs and grinding gently.

Dan kept kissing him, going through the motions, but Phil ground his leg against Dan and Dan didn't really know how to react. Most customers ignored him in that way, they didn't touch him, so he hadn't thought it would be an issue today. But Phil was grinding his leg against his crotch and so would soon realize he wasn't turned on, he probably wouldn't care though, no one else did. He just ignored the leg, continuing to kiss him before flipping them and doing the same to Phil, taking the attention off himself.

Phil let out a soft noise, appreciating the contact and friction. his hips jerked up a bit more needy then before and he pulled Dan back down to crash their lips together. Hands roaming over Dan's chest and tugging off his shirt. Slowly working down to his waist and then his hips, fingers playing along his belt, pulling at it and working it undone.

Dan smiled and bit at Phil's lip then moved Phil's hands away, before running his hands under his shirt and pulling it up and off then running his nails over Phil's chest and leaning in to kiss down Phil's neck.

Phil let his arms fall to the bed taking in the feelings on Dans nails and lips. He tilted his neck to the side to allow more access to skin. A smile slipping onto his face as he took in for a moment where he was. Not where as in location, but more of who he was with. He put his hand into Dans hair and pulled him closer.

Dan moved back to Phil's mouth, kissing him and undoing Phil's belt skillfully then pulling his trousers down and starting to slowly run his hands up his thighs to tease a little. 

"Want me to touch you baby?" He purred. He was glad it was Phil. Yeah, he was sore and tired and wanted to go home but if it was any other customer Dan wouldn't be able to handle this, Phil seemed gentle by nature. Still, that didn't make Dan want sex.

 

"Mhm," Phil mumbled kissing Dans lips again gently. "You haven't said my name since I got here," Phil said smirking at the younger boy. He let his other hand start to play along Dan's waist and hips, pulling at the buttons on the boys pants to try and undo them more.

"I haven't forgotten your name Phil don't worry," he said smirking and placing a kiss to Phil's lips. "I just tend to call people baby a lot in these situations, don't you like it? I can call you anything you want," He purred out not trying to move Phil's hands this time, he had no excuse to. 

He did however start to palm Phil through his boxers, almost stalling, however he knew it was going to happen regardless. His customers never cared if he wasn't turned on. He was there to get them off, not vice versa. Dan just felt a little sensitive and violated and didn't want to be touched like that right now, but he continued to hide it behind a smile as he was taught.

Phil let out a moan now that the other boy was touching him. 

"I don't mind, I just didn't want you to forget me," he tilted his face up kissed him. "I haven't forgotten you," Phil began rolling his hips into Dan's hand, letting out soft sounds each time. 

But he wanted to start touching Dan more, and hear him moan. Phil was sufficiently turned on by now and didn't want Dan to work him up too much more with his hand. Phil propped himself onto his elbows and started guiding Dan to lay down next to him. He kicked off his trousers to the foot of the bed and moved to position himself in between Dan's legs, his hands running up Dans stomach and chest.

 

"Do you wanna fuck me now? I can just roll over for you if you want me to," Dan said looking at Phil, trying to get into that position where his lack of responsiveness would be easier to hide. "Let me get on my hands and knees for you baby," he added as he ran his hands over Phil's arms.

Phil looked at the other boy with a bit of confusion. 

"No, I like facing you, I still need to prep you too. If you like that position we can do that after you're stretched." Phil sat back and undid the buttons the rest of the way, pulling Dan's pants off. 

Immediately noticing Dan wasn't hard, Phil put his hand on him massaging through the fabric of his underwear. Anxiety flooded through him, was he doing something wrong, did he not pay enough attention to the younger boy? 

"You're not hard yet?" Phil said not meaning to turn the end into a question.

 

"I don't need stretching I'm fine," Dan said as a small blush crept onto his cheeks. He failed. Phil seemed anxious now and Phil wasn't paying Dan to make him anxious, he was meant to make him feel good. 

"Phil, baby, let me give you what you're paying for okay ignore that," he moved Phil's hand to his hip instead of his cock then started to palm Phil again, internally freaking out and hoping Phil would just agree to continue

Phil moved the younger boys hand away from him. He scolded himself, he should have seen that earlier if he wasn't caught up with wanting him. 

"I-I'm sorry, is it me? Did I do something wrong?" Phil asked frozen. Phil was changing the memories of just moments ago in his head to make it seem like he was forcing himself on Dan, and it was making him feel guilty.

Dan almost awed at how cute and scared Phil sounded suddenly. 

"No no no seriously Phil no, It's nothing, it's me, but don't worry this is what I do, just ignore everything okay? You wanna fuck me, so fuck me, this..." He pointed to himself "It doesn't matter. You're paying for you not me baby," he ran his hand across Phil's cheek to try stop him panicking, he could see the concern on Phil's face.

Phil shook his head, he didn't want it like this. He wanted them both to enjoy it, without that it just didn't feel right. 

"No its fine, I don't want to if you don't want it," Phil moved out from in between Dans legs and crawled up on the bed laying down next to Dan. "Are you not feeling well? Just not in the mood? I hope it isn't you hate me," Phil said turning his face to look at the younger boy.

It was Dans turn to panic now, he had failed. Phil didn't want him now, and he wouldn't get paid, and his boss would get mad. 

"N-no really I'm fine, I'm used to it look just please, let me do my job, use me, let me get you off, something. I'm still useful, just pretend I'm hard okay?" Dan was panicking and taking too fast, but his boss was the worst person in the world when he was angry "I'm sorry, It's not cause of you," he said and for the first time that night stopped pretending. He let himself be the tired, sore, used up boy for just a few seconds in front of another human before his wall went back up again. "Let me do my job," he said with a tint of desperation in his voice.

Phil saw that glimpse, the tired boy before him trying so hard to do what he thought he had to do. Phil rolled over to Dan touching his face gently. 

"Hey you're alright, calm down, it's fine," he felt horrible, the younger boy kept saying to let him do his job but Phil just couldn't. He could pretend that Grey liked him back but he couldn't just pretend that he was hard.

"Please," Dan said simply, looking at Phil. "I can't go out there having failed a customer, I tried, I can't help it, most customers don't care so it's not an issue, you're too observant," he said with a hint of a tired smile but still sounding scared. "Please, I am used to it, and you're hard, just do it... It's not you, I like you Phil, you're the most attractive customer I have, I just physically can't get hard right now," He wasn't going to give Phil any details, he didn't need to hear them. "But you can still fuck me, I'm still useful," he repeated, wanting Phil to believe him.

 

"Hey wait, I'm still gonna pay you, it's alright," Phil said leaning up to kiss Dan's forehead. "I understand if you're tired, it happens," Phil smiled to try and help calm the beautiful boy down some more. "I'm not disappointed ok," that was partially a lie there, he was looking forward to being able to hold Dan close again, but on the other hand he understood, "I'll be back next week and the week after that anyway".

 

"But I failed, I don't hurt that bad you can still have me," Dan said not understanding. "I don't get it, why come here if you don't want to fuck me?" He gave Phil a confused look. "That's what I'm for".

"Stop arguing, I'm not going to have sex with you tonight, but you're still getting paid, everything’s fine. Alright" Phil said with a bit of authority, the other boy was freaking out like a child. Phil quickly softened his voice to continue talking. "Well I did want to, but its ok. You're really nice to just be around too, I don't need the sex, I just wanted to see you, show you i'd come back for you"

Dan flinched when Phil's voice got authoritative, so used to that tone meaning something else with other customers, Phil had got him on a bad night. He was feeling vulnerable and sad and was struggling to act like things were fine. 

"Okay," he said quietly. He didn't want to argue, most of his instincts telling him he would be hurt if he did.

Phil saw the flinch and felt bad, he didn't mean to scare him. Phil ran his hand through Dan's hair affectionately. "Don't be afraid its alright, you're ok." Phil said spewing words he hoped would help the younger boy relax. He kissed his cheek. "Do you wanna go back home? I don't have to keep you here if you want to go." Phil whispered and kept his body language as gentle as possible, his shoulders relaxed and eyes soft.

Dan didn't talk, just rolled over and faced away from Phil. He needed a minute. To clear his head, get his game face back on. He just lay there, legs curled up a little and breathed.

As soon as Dan had rolled the other way Phil could see red lashes all over his back. They looked like whip marks. Was the person before Phil into that. Is that where this boy just was? He must be exhausted, and then to be expected to preform to his fullest with Phil. He felt guilty again, like he should have known sooner. But this wasn't his fault, he didn't put the beautiful boy here. Or make him sleep with people, but he did add to the list. Phil moved his hand forward wanting to gently touch Dan's skin and caress him and hold him, keep him safe and comfort him, let him feel like he was loved. Phil leaned forward his forehead falling into Dan's shoulder and he closed his eyes, letting them take in the silence.

Dan let Phil lean against him for a minute, not really understanding why he was doing it but too tired to ask. He was so tired and he started to feel himself slipping into sleep, he wasn't comfortable with it. Phil was virtually a stranger, and from Dan's experiences strangers weren't to be trusted. But he was so physically exhausted that he couldn't help it, and he fell asleep without giving himself permission to do so.

Phil stayed still, resting against Dan for some time before he noticed the boy was unusually still, slow paced breathing. He lifted his head 

"Grey?" Phil asked looking at the young boys sleeping face. He looked so beautiful and peaceful. Phil would never understand why anyone would want to hurt him. 

Phil relaxed back into the bed, he was tired too but didn't want to go home, he wrapped his arm around Dan's waist and pressed his face into the back of Dan's neck, cuddling up with him. the boy remained sleeping. Phil smiled, to him, this was better then getting sex. He got to see the beautiful boys sleeping face.

He rested there for a while, not falling asleep just feeling peaceful. but eventually he was getting too tired and had to go back to his big empty home. Phil slowly lifted his arm and pulled away. Getting up to get dressed. Phil worked his pants on and pulled a hefty sum of money from his wallet, far more then he paid last time, but Phil didn't care, not like he needed it. And to him, for everything that had happened, even this wasn't enough to replay the younger boy for his time. Phil pulled the covers over Dan and kissed his head one last time before leaving. Only seven days till he would see him again, but it was going to feel like weeks.

 


	8. The Thing About Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil has requested a home visit. Dan wants to show Phil his skills in bed.

 Weeks went by, each week Phil would go and buy his time with the beautiful boy, and each week falling more and more in love with him. This time when Phil went in he had different intentions, he was going to ask the younger boy to come home with him. Make a house call, as Dan had said. Phil walked in and took a seat where he normally did waiting for the other to come out on stage. Each time Phil had been here he still never had any trouble getting Grey to go with him, unlike the others who always seemed to be fighting over him.

Dan was getting used to Phil's visits, most people where starting to understand that Dan was prebooked on a friday night, so when he saw Phil there again he grinned. He did his thing, as usual, playing to the audience but now he preferred not to look at Phil. It was odd, it was like because Phil knew some stuff about him outside of work, he was self conscious when it came to being on stage in front of him. 

After hours kicked in and Dan changed and went over to Phil. 

"Hey beautiful," he said sitting across from Phil, he was working, and had his work face on. But there was always something a little different with Phil.

Phil smiled. 

"Hey you," Phil said softly reaching over to gently touch Dans face, he liked doing that, it was a nice start to the night a simple touch. "I was thinking for tonight we could go someplace different." 

Phil was really unsure how to ask to come home with him. But he hoped the other boy knew what he meant. Dan looked at him curiously for a moment before smirking. 

"Are you asking to take me home baby? You wanna home visit?" Dan liked the idea of that, home visits usually were for people into more... out there stuff. But Dan knew Phil wasn't. "Just to change the scene or are you gonna drop something on me like you're really into bondage or something?" He smirked knowing that would embarrass Phil.

Phil blushed deeply looking away for a moment. He never stopped getting flustered during this part of the night. 

"N-no, I just like the idea of you in _my_ bed, and we'd be away from this atmosphere. Please come home with me," Phil said the last bit a softer.

If Dan was honest he liked that idea too, being in Phil's bed. 

"Okay, I'll come home with you, you know that's gonna cost you more right?" He leaned across the table to Phil's ear. "Home visits are good, cause you can take your time more, have me for longer," He just wanted Phil to not back out of this, he liked this idea to much.

"Money isn't a problem for me ok, I just want you with me," Phil tilted his face closer to the younger boys and brushed his lips against his ear. 

Dan always brought up money although he should have realized by now with how often Phil was here that he didn't have a problem with what he had to spend. Phil moved his hand up again and tangled it in the beautiful boys hair. 

"I don't care what the price is for you,".

"You intrigue me," Dan said quietly, letting out a soft noise at Phil's hand in his hair as he hadn't felt that in a week and he kind of missed it, even if he wouldn't admit to it. "Okay, let's go, do you have car or should I get one of the drivers?" They had people to take them to and from house calls, but Dan was okay if Phil wanted to use his own vehicle.

Phil smiled. 

"Yeah I take public transit so we can take one of the cars here"  Phil's hand gently massaged Dans head pulling his head back to place a gentle kiss to the younger boys lips, cause he knew he was allowed.

Dan kissed back softly then stood up. 

"Come on then," he lead Phil out of the room and down to the parking lot. There were drivers there and Dan went to speak to one who gave Dan a look. There was talk about them, that Phil came every weekend, that they kissed and seemed too intimate but Dan ignored it. They got in the car and Dan turned to Phil, his hand sitting on his knee "What is your address Phil?" He asked.

Phil gave his address and relaxed inside the car lightly brushing Dans thigh. They pulled up to a fancy looking apartment, and Phil tugged Dans hand leading him into the building, he hit the button on the elevator and when the door opened Phil pulled him inside and connected their lips. Pressing the button to his floor he continued kissing the younger boy, so desperate to have him with him again. Each week seemed to be longer and longer apart.

Dan hummed into the kiss, hands going to Phil's hips. He was getting a better picture of Phil, they were in a building that would cost a lot to live in. So Phil really was quite well off, but Dan didn't know how. Radio presenting paid well, but not amazingly well. 

"Did you miss me?" Dan muttered against Phil's lips before licking over his lower one.

Phil smiled into the kiss. 

"Not one bit," he mumbled sarcasticly, his arms resting over Dan's shoulders. 

The elevator opened and Phil pulled away, there was just a small hallway with two doors. Phil opened one of them and gently lead Dan into the room. His apartment was luxurious and spacious, half of the building floor was his. They entered a large living room with a view of the city. Phil looked at Dan and smiled at him. 

"I told you, moneys not a problem,".

Dan's eyes widened a little and he walked around, looking over Phil's apartment. He had been in fancy apartments before, but when Phil explained his job he didn't expect his home to look like _this._

"I can see that," Dan said smirking.

Phil liked the look on Dan's face as he looked around the room. He quickly crossed the space between them and reconnected their lips. Now when he kissed him it wasn't cause he felt like he had to in order to spend any time with him, he did it because that was what he wanted more then anything. 

Phil gently tugged Dan backward with him leading to the bedroom when he felt the bed behind him he fell backwards. Dan falling on top of him. Dan kissed Phil eagerly, but pulled back and leaned closer to his ear. 

"I feel like with you, I don't get to show you what I can do, you always focus so much on me, let me show you what I can do?" He pulled back and kissed him. There were some perks to this life style, and his skill set was one of them. "I want to, I want to show you what I can do," he muttered before kissing him again.

Phil's hand worked into Dan's hair playing with it gently. 

"Whatever you want, Lovely," he whispered back. Although Phil loved to focus on the younger boys pleasure, if the perfect boy really wanted to show him what he could do Phil was not going to stop him.

Dan kept kissing him and started running his hands over Phil's body, slipping under his shirt and up over his chest before starting to undo Phil's buttons then kissing down his neck and over his collar bones, hands still moving over Phil. He knew Phil liked his touches, so he was going to give him as much of it as he could. He kissed down Phil's chest, nipping every so often.

He ended up at Phil's waistband, his thumbs slipped underneath teasingly as he sucked a love bite on Phil's hip. Phil hadn't told him he couldn't so he just went for it. His eyes locked with Phil before he kissed back up Phil's body and straddled him. Pulling his own shirt off and slipping Phil's the rest of the way off before kissing him needily, fingers lightly tracing patterns over Phil's sides as he gently ground his hips down against Phil's.

Phil let out soft moans. He wasn't allowed to leave any marks on Dan but he had no problem with the younger boy leaving marks on him. Phil moaned again and deepened the kiss, his hands in the others hair holding him close.

"Mmh you sound so good when you moan," Dan kissed down his neck again and rolled his hips down before moving and slipping Phil's pants down leaving him in boxers, he was in no rush, they had all night.

Phil smiled, happy to have the other boy taking initiative and doing what he wanted to do without waiting for Phil to give him a command. Phil scooted himself back moving more up on the bed and tugged the beautiful boy closer by his pants, fumbling with the buttons.

Dan let Phil pull Dans pants off, smirking a little because he was hard already. Something about Phil just effected Dan, he didn't know what. He kissed down Phil's body again, biting at his hip bones while he started to palm at Phil's cock through his boxers, eyes locked on him.

Phil's mouth fell open slightly letting out a soft moan as the younger boys hand move across him. He liked the feeling of the others teeth nipping at him too. 

"Mmm, I like biting," Phil said softly moving his hips slightly to press more into Dans hand.

"Mmh that's sexy," Dan purred before separating Phil's legs and kissing his inner thigh, he licked over the area before nipping at the sensitive skin there as well, hand still palming over Phil's cock.

Phil moaned a bit louder feeling the younger boys teeth on his thigh. He was being very responsive to everything Dan did, but he wanted the other to know he was appreciating every touch. Phil stared at Dan intensely loving how the younger boy looked where he was.

Dan ran his finger nails just above Phil's waist band, kissing further up Phil's thigh, running his free hand along the top of his thigh lightly, eyes still locked on Phil. He wanted Phil to know he _wanted_ this. Him. Like this. He was being paid but he actually enjoyed this with Phil. He made a mark on his thigh as his hand started to work Phil's boxers down.

Phil saw the want behind Dan's eyes and the older boys cheeks flushed slightly. For the next few hours with the beautiful boy, Phil could pretend he was in love with him. That his perfect boy who sold himself every week was actually in love with him. And with the want behind the younger boys eyes that was not hard to convince himself. Phil smiled softly letting out another sound.

Dan pulled Phil's boxers off all the way and sat back eyes running unashamedly over him, being out of the club made Dan relax. He felt more comfortable here, even though this was not an environment he was used to. His hands kept running over his thighs and Dan's mouth kissed over Phil's hips and lower stomach before one of his hands moved to Phil's cock and he started stroking him. Dan moved his mouth closer to Phil and let his tongue dart out over the base of his cock teasingly. 

Dan was into this, and that would be obvious looking at him, he basically had his face in Phil's lap, even when he wasn't using his mouth. He turned to face Phil, his cheek against his hip as his tongue darted out again.

Phil whined slightly. 

"Mm Grey please," he put a hand on the younger boys head  and gently pushed him closer, his eyes pleading for contact.

Dan bit his lip. 

"Pacing baby," He mumbled before moving forward and licking over the head of Phil's cock into his mouth, moaning lightly as he swirled his tongue around. 

He locked eyes with Phil and refused to look away as he sunk right down without warning so that all of Phil was in his mouth and throat eyes still locked on Phil. He winked to show him he was fine, he wasn't hurting himself to do this. Dan had never really had a gag reflex so he guessed he was made for this job, but there is a big difference between willingly doing this and what other men do to the younger boy. Even Dan didn't take well to that. He moved back up Phil's cock then repeated the action letting his tongue work over his length on the way back up.

 

"Oh fuck," Phil moaned when the younger boy went lower Phil was worried he was hurting the other, but Dan continued and actually seemed just as turned on as Phil did. "You're perfect”

Dan smirked around Phil's cock and continued his motion with his mouth, he pushed himself further onto Phil's cock and swallowed around him twice before pulling back and kissing down his length, then tonguing over his slit. 

"Mmmh you taste good," Dan said, and it wasn't his fake purr he put on for clients, it was himself, gravely and turned on, but himself.

"Let me taste," Phil said and sat up to pull Dan up to meet his lips kissing him deeply, not waiting to slip his tongue inside the others mouth eagerly exploring. He pulled away breathing a little heavy and wanting the feeling of the younger boys mouth on him again. Phil laid back down and guided Dans head back to his cock. "I just tasted you," Phil said softly smiling to himself grateful for what the other was doing.

Dan smirked at him. 

"Well thats a shame," Dan said before taking Phil back in his mouth again, moaning lightly around him and bobbing his head, making sure Phil hit the back of his throat to enhance his pleasure. 

This was odd for Dan, he was enjoying every second of this, he was anticipating what was yet to come and he wasn't used to it. If he ignored the fact he was being paid, he could almost believe he was here cause he _wanted_ to be. He ran his hands over Phil's body, everywhere he could reach, wanting to touch all of his skin. He took Phil deeper again and contracted his throat around Phil. Carefully moving Phil in and out. He was proud of that skill and wanted to show it off.

Phil threw his head back and tangled his hand in the other boys hair gripping tightly to it. 

"Shit, fuck, Grey!" Phil called out trying so hard to not rock his hips up. The pleasure was intense, and beautiful. And Phil was able to let his mind be free and convince himself that the beautiful boy wasn't doing this because Phil paid well but because he wanted to. That somewhere inside him he loved him too.

Dan kept the action up, and honestly he didn't mind if Phil rocked his hips a little, he pulled back to let him know that. 

"I don't mind if you want to move, I can take it, I like it," He said and crawled up to kiss Phil's mouth again needily, pulling Phil to meet him.

Phil kissed him back biting gently at his lip. 

"I didn't want to hurt you," Phil said in a breathy voice jerking his hips up now to get friction against the younger boys stomach. "I'm not like the others," Phil caressed the others face gently.

"It's not going to hurt me, there is a difference, I know your careful... others.. aren't. They just hurt me on purpose," Dan muttered and kept kissing Phil, his hand moving down and stroked his cock. "Just saying, if you wanna move i'm okay with that," he kissed back down Phil's body and took his cock in his mouth again, going straight away to constricting his throat around Phil again.

Phil moaned loudly and didn't hold back this time. He kept his hand in the younger boys hair as he rocked upward, pushing farther back into the others throat. Repeating the action and letting out small moans with each movement. Phil pulled Dan's head up slowly till just the tip was in the younger boys mouth. His own mouth hanging open slightly. Then he lowered Dan back down and rolled his hips up to thrust deep down the others throat again and making more moaning sounds, he could feel himself building up, but he didn't want to come like this. He wanted the other to feel just as much pleasure as him.

Dan made eye contact with Phil as he let Phil control how deep he went and basically everything else, this was different, and his brain was screaming one word at him and he couldn't ignore it. Trust. He was trusting Phil. He _knew_ that Phil wasn't going to abuse the power Dan had given him, he _knew_ he wasn't going to get hurt because he _trusted_ him. 

Dan moaned around Phil's cock and let this go on a little longer before pulling off Phil's cock and crawling up to Phil's mouth again. 

"See? You didn't hurt me, I knew you wouldn't," He kissed him deeply, licking into Phil's mouth before pulling back again. "I wanna ride you," he purred against his lips, hands in Phil's hair.

Phil smiled kissing Dan softly. 

"Yes please," he whispered and turned his head away to look at his nightstand. "Condoms and lube are in the top drawer," Phil said running his hands over the younger boys body and tugging his underwear slightly down those beautiful hips.

Dan nodded and kissed Phil again before pulling his boxers off completely, he reached over to the drawer and pulled out the required items. When Phil was ready and Dan had made sure there was enough lube on him he moved to position himself over Phil. 

He didn't even think about stretching. It happened so rarely for him, usually only Dan himself before he left for work. He kissed Phil and got ready to lower himself down.

"W-wait, love, let me stretch you," Phil said softly running his hand over Dans ass and his fingers making their way to the younger boys entrance. He pulled the other forward some and kissed his neck as he pressed a finger inside him.

Dan moaned lightly and extended his neck, sighing and his body relaxed knowing this would be easier on his body now. 

"Thanks," he said, still feeling like this wasn't the norm and his usual treatment was. "I.. I've never been with anyone gentle like you, it's amazing. You're kind of amazing," Dan said as he pushed back onto Phil's finger a little, humming contentedly.

Phil smiled and flicked his tongue out at the soft skin on Dans neck. He pressed another finger inside. 

"You're just as perfect," Phil whispered moving his fingers to stretch the younger boy. "I've never been with anyone as beautiful as you," Phil said playfully and thrust his fingers in and out.

Dan smiled. 

"You're just saying that to get me into bed," He giggled a little at his joke before it changed into a moan. "I don't think i have ever laughed during sex before," He thought out loud, so far being with Phil was just creating so many new experiences for him and it scared how much he was loving each and every one.

Phil laughed softly. 

"Shame you should laugh more often, especially cause if I do this,"  Phil made squeaky kisses into Dans neck tickling him. One arm wrapped around his waist so he couldn't move too far.

Dan giggled a little louder, not being able to help it. 

"Ah hey," he scrunched his face up and was still giggling. It was so relaxed with Phil, there was no rush with anything and Dan kind of loved that. "Hey, can I kiss you?" He said softly. 

Since Phil came along, kissing was completely off limits for all other clients, and Dan wasn't letting himself think about why he had made it this way.

"You don't have to ask," Phil said smiling and tilting his  face to catch the others lips. "I'll always kiss you," he muttered and started moving his fingers to continue stretching the other boy. 

When he thought he was stretched enough Phil slipped his fingers out slowly and rested his hand on Dans hip, letting the younger take his time with sweet kisses.

Dan kind of got lost in kissing, Phil removed his fingers and Dan whined slightly but honestly was fairly distracted by the feeling of Phil's lips on his and how perfectly they fit together. He scolded himself for being soppy but he couldn't help it right now. Eventually he pulled back from the kiss and smiled, feeling like maybe he was acting too eager with the kisses. He moved back and lined Phil up with his entrance before lowering himself down, eyes locked with Phil and a high groan escaping his mouth. He took him almost completely then sat still giving himself time to adjust, usually he didn't take as long as he should, but he felt like Phil wouldn't mind.

Phil's mouth fell open a little as he let out a soft moan not breaking eye contact. His hands began exploring the younger boys body as he waited. Running over his thighs and hips, up to his chest and back down his sides. Phil didn't mind if Dan controlled the pace and took it slow. He wanted to spend all the time in the world with him. Moving faster would only mean Dan would leave sooner.

Dan bit his lip and lifted up, lowering down with his hips rolling at the same time. Dan had good control over his hips and could make Phil feel different based on how he moved, another skill he was proud of. So many people just moved up and down and didn't realize how much more responsive you can make someone if you use your hips properly. He moaned as he continued at a slow pace, smirking a little as he wanted to build Phil up as much as he could but slowly, he wanted this to last a while.

Phil moaned and gripped slightly at Dans hip continuing to let the boy move how he wanted to. He stared at him in complete awe, this boy was still sexy and beautiful and all sorts of amazing words. Watching him fuck himself on Phil was making his head spin. 

"God you're sexy," Phil gasped, hungrily eyeing over the boys body.

Dan smiled a little, he liked it when Phil said those things, it wasn't sleazy coming from him. He changed the motion of his hips, playing with what  made Phil more responsive. Then started making circles with his hips so when he took Phil deep he pressed in more than before, he moved a little faster as well, hands on Phil's chest.

Phil moaned louder closing his eyes for a second. 

"Mmm fuck," he whined and dug his nails into Dans skin a little. Suddenly remembering he can't leave a mark he eased his grip. "Sorry," Phil whispered moaning again.

"Mmhh," Dan moaned as he felt Phil's nails dig in a little then stop as soon as it started "I don't care," Dan said breathily, rolling down harder against Phil, he wanted Phil to grip at him, to express what he felt. 

He pushed himself down harder and contracted his muscles a little, trying to coax Phil back into using his nails. Dan just didn't care about any rules right now. Phil felt Dan tighten around him and he went back to gripping at his hips again. Moaning loudly. 

"You are perfect," he gasped and rocked his hips up to meet Dans. One hand moved to grab Dan's and move it a bit farther up his own chest. "Scratch me," Phil said moaning again slightly out of breath.

Dan smiled and ran his fingernails down Phil's chest, moaning as Phil rocked his hips up. 

"Mmmhhh fuck," Phil's cock brushed his sweet spot and he allowed it, he didn't move away so that he could keep his head. He didn't _want_ to keep his head. "Fuck fuck shit," he moaned and scratched down over Phil again.

Phil moaned louder reacting to the scratches on his chest and dug his nails into Dan's hip and scratched down his thigh. 

"Did you find your spot baby?" Phil said smiling at the others reaction. Then guided the boys hips to hit that same place.

"Mmmhh mhm yeah," Dan moaned, moaning louder at the scratches to his thighs he moved a little faster, leaning down and kissing Phil needily.

Phil bit at Dans lip feeling more then just want behind the kiss, felt like need. He kissed him back passionately and moved his hands to wrap his arms around the others waist. Everything felt so amazing, the younger boy could say what he wanted, but this felt like love in Phil's heart.

"Fuck you're prefect," Dan muttered as he started lifting himself then dropping down onto Phil, moaning loudly each time he did it "Mmh fuck, Phil please," He was used to not being touched, but when everything else felt so good he just had this need for Phil's hand to be on him. "T-touch me please," He had never asked that before, ever. And his cheeks flushed red in response.

 

Phil kissed the younger boy eagerly. 

"As you wish," he whispered and his hand made its way to Dan's cock, wrapping around and stroking him expertly. Running his thumb over his slit each time. 

This boy felt so amazing Phil wondered for a moment how he ever was with anyone before him. Then caught himself, he had to remember he wasn't _with_ Grey, he paid him for sex, and the younger boy just enjoyed himself too. Thats all it was. Phil kissed him again trying to block the thoughts away. 

"I love you," Phil said softly, letting himself say what he felt again.

Hearing that reminded Dan what this was, what he was. He was here for money, he got paid to let Phil fuck him, to make Phil feel what he wanted to feel. 

"I love you too, baby," Dan said, but closed his eyes. A small part of him felt like he meant it, but that was just because whatever was happening was intense. And Dan was confused. He moaned loudly at Phil's hand on him.

Phil smiled, he could allow himself to believe it for now, it felt like love.  

"Thank you," he murmured and ran his hand down to caress Dan's thigh keeping the motion of his other hand a steady rhythm with Dan's motions.

Dan's breathing was getting uneven. 

"Tell me what pace you want," he said, trying not to seem to far gone but he was, and he was loving every second of this. 

Phil's fingers seemed to burn against his skin in the best possible way and it all felt so good, he understood why people paid for sex, hell, _he_ would pay for this. This felt good, this wasn't him lying underneath someone being used as a vessel. He had got off every time he was with Phil and he looked forward to Phil's visits. They were walking a thin line but Dan couldn't bring himself to care. His hand found Phil's and he didn't even realize that he had. They didn't entwine their fingers, but with Phil's hand clasped in his, he felt almost human.

Phil gasped and held tight to the others hand. 

"Faster," he moaned and rocked his hips up. He was losing his thoughts in the feeling of what was happening and threw his head back moaning loudly.

Dan complied, 

"Fuck you sound good," Dan was moving a lot faster now, mouth hanging open and high pitched moans escaping, along with Phil's name. He scratched at Phil with his spare hand, the other gripping tighter to Phil's hand.

"Fuck Grey!" Phil called out stroking the other in time to their hip movements. "I'm close," he whined locking eyes with the other trying his best to read what he was feeling.

Dan was feeling completely and utterly lost in someone else for the first time in his life. Him and Phil where moving together and both feeling good and it was amazing. Phil had marked him but he didn't care, he wanted them, he liked little marks of ownership from Phil. But Phil only owned him for short periods of time, and honestly if Dan was asked in this moment he would admit that he wanted Phil all the time. 

 

"Mmk fuck, shit, me too," He moaned and started moving with a little less precision, but slamming down harder and moaning louder. "Am I allowed to come?" He still felt like he had to ask, he was so close but could hold back if needed to and jerk off in the bathroom. A lot of people didn't want Dan to come, it wasn't usually an issue being he didn't often get close.

Phil moaned. 

"Ah fuck, please do," Phil said stroking Dan and starring over the others body and appreciating the small marks he left on Dan. Simple bruises and scratches from where his hands were. Phil closed his eyes tightly moaning loudly. He was so close trying his best to hold back. "Mmm G-grey, I'm....mmm fuck," he tried to finish his sentence but kept cutting himself off with his own moans.

Dan scrunched his eyes up a little trying to block out hearing the name "grey" It just made him feel like a whore again when during this process he had almost managed to escape this mentality for a while. 

"Fuck Phil mhh," he moaned as he got steadily closer. His hand still was clasped with Phil's and he squeezed it.

A few more thrusts and Phil was coming. He moaned loudly, practically screaming the others name. Phil wasn't one for screaming but after how much the younger boy built him up, from the blow job to this, Phil's head was gone. His breath became shaky as he tried to catch it.

Phil sounded so good and pretty much as soon as Phil started to come Dan followed. 

"Oh fuck Phil fuck," he moaned loudly as his head fell back and he came over Phil's hand and onto his stomach. His body was shuddering as he started to work down from his high, eyes meeting Phil's again.

Phil looked at him in awe, he'd never seen  anyone more beautiful. Phil rested his head back letting his body go lax. 

"Kiss me," Phil said softly running his hand over the younger boys hip and up his side.

Dan leaned down and kissed Phil softly, hands going to either side of his face, he didn't move off of Phil yet, he was enjoying the moment. A little moan passed from his lips, residual from what just occurred as he kissed Phil like it was the only thing that mattered, right now it was.

 


	9. Underneath the Depths of my Sin

 Phil never felt more in love with anyone before. He moved Dan's hips to pull himself out of the younger boy and moved him to lay next to him on his side, instantly kissing him again. Their lips softly touching and moving against each other. Bringing their bodies a bit closer together then normal. Phil wanted to keep him close now. This always ended too soon.

Dan relaxed into the kiss more, his hands draped over Phil's shoulders as their lips moved together, he knew he wouldn't get to kiss him again for at least another week, _if_ he came back. So Dan wanted to make the most of this for now.

Phil smiled softly. 

"You are so beautiful," he said opening his eyes to look at Dan. He moved his hand around the younger boys back and pulled them closer more. "I just want to keep you all night," Phil said laughing a little, knowing that wasn't possible.

Dan smiled, that was an appealing thought. Staying here rather than going back and being sold to someone else. Dan leaned in and kissed him again, he was probably coming across as desperate, but he didn't really care.

Phil kissed him back eagerly, his arm tightening around the younger boy. His hand explored Dan's bare skin. Running up his back to his shoulder, holding him close, their chests and stomachs touching. Continuing to kiss him, Phil's teeth nipped slightly at Dan's lip every now and again.

Dan was okay as long as they were kissing, he had issue with cuddling, with being held because it wasn't something he understood. He kept kissing him, but was getting a little wary of how close this was to the definition of 'cuddling'.

Phil felt the boy seeming a bit uncomfortable and that made him nervous. He pulled away and looked over his face. 

"You ok?" He asked and gently caressed the younger boys back in slight concern.

Dan considered how to answer. 

"I just, I am not used to cuddling... " Even the word felt foreign in his voice. 

He scooted back a little and looked at Phil, he felt colder and wanted to go back into that space he just left, he had this odd feeling and he didn't understand it. Almost emotional. But Dan had no reason to be and he didn't like it.

Phil pouted slightly. He wanted to cuddle and was a bit upset that the other didn't want to. But he wasn't going to push it. 

"Oh...ok," Phil said dejected. He moved his hand up and played with Dan's hair. "Eventually though?" he asked, not making a move to get any closer.

Dan still held the eye contact.

"I just.. I haven't ever.. I don't know how... no one ever wanted to... I don't understand it," He sounded worried again, and his eyes moved from Phil's. What was wrong with him? He was 19 years old and the idea of cuddling someone scared him, when all the other things he let happen didn't. Not really anyway.

Phil nodded. 

"I don't understand a lot of things you do, but I don't let that stop me," he said sadly. He wasn't arguing, wasn't trying to talk Dan into it. But it did hurt him. That after everything they did together, and the younger boy did with other people. Cuddling was off limits. Phil didn't move away from Dan anymore then he was, he didn't want the other to feel rejected. Even though Phil himself felt that. "It's really ok, I'm not gonna make you do anything you don't like," Phil said, gently petting the boys hair.

Dan felt bad, he really did. 

"No you don't get it, I've never done that, I don't just mean working... Its foreign to me and therefore makes me feel weird, cause I've _never_ done it," he wanted Phil to understand, and he didn't know why Phil's understanding meant that much to him. "I'm not rejecting it cause you're a client, it's cause It scares me," He added quieter. He had never told anyone that before.

Phil met Dan's eyes, he was trying so hard to understand. but couldn't, their worlds were too separated on this. 

"Ok," Phil said and rolled to his back. Laying there for a moment. "I'm trying to understand, I am. I understand you're afraid, cause its new, but everything has a first time. Is it _that_ scary?" When he said that last bit he turned his face to look at Dan's.

Dan closed his eyes and his knees came up. 

"Not for you, but when so many first times have been ruined you kind of hold onto the ones you have left," He said really quietly. He knew he was acting silly, but he didn't really care. He felt vulnerable.

Phil's stomach tightened seeing Dan start to curl up. He didn't mean to hurt the younger boy. 

"Hey, I'm sorry," Phil started to wonder what Dan's first time having sex was like. But didn't know when an appropriate time to ask that would be. Is there ever an appropriate time for that. He's never talked about that with anyone before. But this boy always made him so curious about what everything in his life was like. "I'm not going to bother you about it anymore, ok. What we have is just fine. I'm sorry. You're safe, don't be afraid."  he whispered and gently caressed Dan's arm.

"I just need to keep a few things as mine you know? That no one else has, that no one else can take like they have with everything else," Dan looked away and made himself calm down. This was not the time for a melt down. "I am sorry, that was very unprofessional of me," He said with a fake smile and his work face back on. "I apologize and it wont happen again," he met Phil's eyes, knowing that his eyes would give more away than the rest of his face but not being able to draw his eyes away from Phil's perfect ones.

"You don't have to act brave for me," Phil said propping himself up on his elbow. "You can keep whatever you want, I wont take anything you don't want to give me," Phil's hand touched Dans face gently.

Dan didn't say it out loud but the reason that this was so scary was because that's exactly what he wanted to do. He wanted to give that to Phil but every fibre of who he was told him no because Phil will end up hurting Dan. So yeah, Dan wasn't very good with trusting. But he had reasons for that. Dan nodded 

"It's fine, don't worry about it, I'm being stupid," He hid behind his work face as normal.

"Alright," Phil said softly and laid down. Now more then ever he wanted to cuddle the beautiful boy. Or kiss him. But he felt like his time was up for the night. "How long can you stay?" Phil asked. "You can take a shower here if you want to."

"There is no rule on how long I can stay, usually it's just till the person gets bored and kicks me out when he's done," Dan said stretching. "Okay, to the shower. I would appreciate that," He smiled at him and sat up, not getting off the bed yet.

Phil smiled. 

"If thats the case I'm never letting you leave," Phil said laughing slightly. He stroked the younger boys arm gently before he could get out of reach.

Dan moved to get up but then leaned back and kissed Phil's lips again softly but quickly. 

"Also, you need to show me where it is," he giggled a little.

Phil blushed a little and pulled the younger boy down again to kiss him. 

"Right," Phil said pulling away again. He got up and pulled his underwear on. Then lead the younger boy to a large bathroom, shiny and clean. There was a large but cute bathtub and a separate shower with a glass door. "I could run you a bath if you'd like that better," Phil said gesturing to the bathtub. "You can use whatever shampoo you find. and towels are..." Phil stepped over and opened up a cupboard. "Here" he looked back at the other boy and smiled.

"A shower is fine, thanks though, you are a very good host," He giggled and kissed Phil again. He couldn't help it, and he knew this was starting to cross a line but that line was already long crossed in his mind anyway.

Phil blushed again. 

"Thanks," he said a bit shyly. It felt strange being told that by the younger boy. In this situation. It seemed very out of place. Phil kissed him once more. "If you need anything else just ask," he said softly against his lips.

"Mhm," Dan mumbled against Phil's lips but not pulling back, he would, in a second, just a few more kisses. He cursed himself for being weak but he knew that in this moment for sure he was falling a little.

Phil put his hands on the younger boys waist, kissing him again. 

"You're not going to get clean like this," he said smiling and placing more kisses on his lips. However Phil didn't make any motion to stop or move away.

"Depends how you define clean," Dan muttered, because really that was a good way to put it. Phil made him feel cleaner, that he was worth more than the cash he got at the end of the night.

Phil pulled him closer, wrapping his arms around Dan's waist. 

"Mmm I love you," he said silencing the younger boy with more kisses. He didn't quite understand Dan's statement. But kept going with how he felt.

Dan sighed and kissed him softly a few more times. 

"I care for you," He said softly. He hoped that was okay. He stepped back. "And now time to shower," he said trying to break the intensity between them slightly.

Phil nodded. 

"I'll be in my room," he said backing up more. Letting his hands linger as long as they could, before smiling and walking back. Phil didn't get an 'I love you' back that time but it was ok, he didn't expect it all the time. He heard it once and was confident it was real.

The door closed and Dan felt tears coming. Why was he doing this? He was just going to get hurt here, there wasn't any reason for Phil to love him, and as soon as Phil realized this he would be out of his life and Dan would be back to normal. Except he wouldn't. Before Phil came along Dan didn't know this existed, that kisses could feel like this, that sex could be positive for him, that he could feel less like an animal and more like an equal shinny human who actually fucking mattered. 

But Phil would leave and Dan would be plummeted back into dark again, except knowing that this side of life was possible, and that hurt. He got in the shower and cleaned himself, trying to push away all these evil, bad thoughts but he couldn't. He had started to let someone in and that meant facing a lot of things that Dan didn't want to. He was confused about how he felt after sex, about wanting to stay here, about just wanting to lie with Phil. He was confused as to why Phil made him feel like this in the first place, and why Phil was even bothering with a hooker anyway. 

There were literally millions of Dans out there, all with their own sad story and emotional eyes who could easily love someone like Phil, so Phil had no reason to hang around, Dan was replaceable. Like always. Where as Phil most definitely was not. He got out of the shower and towel dried himself and his (curly) hair before wrapping the towel around his middle and walking back into Phil's room, hoping that he wasn't to loud when he was crying or that his eyes weren't red so that Phil could stay oblivious.

As soon as Phil had gone back to his room he took out a paper and marker and wrote down his phone number and a small note. 'If you need me- Phil' he tucked it in Dan's pants pocket. He laid in the bed, wearing pajama bottoms now and waited for the younger boy to come out of the shower. As soon as the other came into the room Phil's face lit up. 

"Your hair's curly!" He exclaimed and eyed over Dan's body. Bits of water still clinging to his skin. 

Phil relaxed some, seeing Dan like this reminded him that this boy was human, and did human things outside of his work. He showered, and straightened his hair. just like any other person.

Dan smiled and pulled a face. 

"Argh I know, it's awful I look like a hobbit," he said then remembered he had marks on his hips and glanced down, smirking a little not being able to hide that this pleased him a little, well at least until his boss saw.

Phil smiled and sat up.

"C'mere hobbit," he said and waited for Dan to cross the space and stand in front of him on the bed. Phil wrapped his arms around his waist and kissed his stomach and chest. 

"I think you're beautiful even with curly hair," he said smiling up at him before leaning down slightly to nibble at his hips. "I'm sorry for these," he said kissing along the small bruises from where his nails had dug into the skin. Although his concern wasn't that he had lowered Dan's 'retail value'..."Did I hurt you?" He asked.

Dan's hand went to the back of Phil's hair and played with the hair there. 

"No Phil, you didn't," he said smiling, he still found it endearing how even though Phil knew what Dan went through he thought little things like this would hurt him. "I like them," he said quieter. "My boss wont, but oh well," he shrugged, still playing with Phil's hair

Phil smiled. 

"At least you like them, it's your body," he placed more kisses along his stomach. "You left marks on me too," Phil was happy about that though. No one was going to ever see them, but Phil knew they were there and they were reminders to him of this beautiful boy.

Dan smirked a little. 

"You asked for them, and you're right. It is my body... Most of the time. So it's my decision if I let you mark me or not," he smiled again and pushed away thoughts of going back to the club, he didn't want to.

"Mhm," Phil agreed and his hands roamed the others body. "Hmm, don't go" Phil said with a sigh and pulled Dan closer making him straddle his hips and sit on his lap. "I know I cant, but sometimes I imagine what it would be like to wake up next to you, it's silly, but it helps me get through another week," Phil felt a bit embarrassed saying all that but he kept holding the younger boy close.

Dan let his hands go to Phil's shoulders and he met his eyes, honestly, that was the best thought in the world, but he didn't know why Phil thought it about him. 

"You don't even know how appealing that is, and how unappealing going back _there_ is, after all of this," he sighed. "But I don't understand why you even bother with me, why you see me how you do, I'm not worth it." he said quieter. "There are so many people out there who would be good for you, instead you're getting involved with this scene that someone as perfect as you shouldn't ever be involved with.”

Phil tilted his face and kissed Dan's jaw gently. 

"Don't you ever think you're work more then this scene too?" Phil asked placing more kisses. "If you want to stay why don't you? Can you make up an excuse of why you wouldn't make it back tonight?" Phil's kisses made their way down his neck.

"I don't know, this is what I do so it must be what I'm worth, if I was worth more I would never have had to start this in the first place I figure," Dan said and sighed, liking Phil's kisses. "I could, I dunno, I could tell him that my client hurt me to much to work another. It's happened before. Lets just hope he doesn't know it was you cause you don't look like the hurting type, but he cant demand me to prove it or anything..." Dan was still hesitant. He had never done that, stayed at a clients, hell stayed at anyones.

Phil smiled and pulled Dan closer. Kissing his lips excitedly. 

"Thank you," Phil said happily. He never liked the idea that after being with him Dan had to go out to another person. This way Phil had him all night. "Thank you, thank you," he repeated some more

Dan kissed back. 

"I'm still just a hooker, I'm still not worth what you think I am. I have a cash value and that's about it," Dan said sadly but kissed Phil again.

"What makes you worth less then me? Hmm?"  Phil didn't get why the younger boy had no sense of self worth, just because he ended up in a crappy job didn't mean he was lowered as a human.

"You're complete, you haven't sold parts of yourself," Dan muttered, his fingers running over Phil's wrist as he looked at the floor.

Phil pouted, he couldn't argue with that. 

"Come lay down," Phil said  scooting out from under the younger boy. "Have you ever had a night off?" Phil asked laying down on the bed.

"I work Thursday, Friday, Saturday nights, some Tuesdays but they aren't good nights" Tuesdays seemed to bring in weird people. "So I have never had a Thursday, Friday or Saturday night off since I was sixteen," He said putting on underwear before he sat on the bed but didn't lie down yet.

Phil reached over and gently stroked Dan's arm. 

"I see," he said softly. It still wasn't easy hearing Dan say hes been there since he was sixteen, but nothing Phil could do about it. He couldn't change the past. "Do you like me coming into your work? Sometimes I think it really bothers you," he avoided asking the younger boy about his past yet.

"I don't know, it feels weird to me, but it shouldn't. It highlights that you are different for some reason, and I shouldn't see you as different, because you are still buying me, you are still paying me to let you fuck me, It's still a transaction, and you make me feel self conscious cause it feels different. Especially when you are there and there are other people being all over me, I feel shamed and I am not used to it," He sighed and looked away.

Phil pulled on Dans arm slightly, he wanted the other to lay down next to him. 

"I am different," He sat up and moved closer placing a gentle kiss on his shoulder. "How would you feel if I stopped coming to see you?" Phil never had any intentions of abandoning the beautiful boy, he just wanted to know how he felt about the idea.

Dans brain started to panic a little inside. 

"I um, well, it doesn't matter, it's about how you feel not me," But Dan didn't want him to stop coming to see him, ever. But he knew he would. "You will though, you will get bored and find someone else to pay, we are all the same, whores, escorts, whatever word you use. You just haven't realized it yet. I'm not special."

"You are special," Phil kissed Dan's neck to try and comfort him, hearing the panic in his voice. "I'm not going anywhere, not tonight, or next week"  Phil's hand roamed down his arm gently. "Trust me."

"I'm not though, how can you say that? I'm not," Dan leaned into the touches not being able to help it. "Anyway, lets stop this. I'm stupid, I'm used to my life, it is what it is," He muttered. "Some people have more than others, some people are worth more, there is no point prettying it up"

Phil pouted. 

"Look at me," he said. He hated hearing the other talk like this and them not looking at each other, made them feel so disconnected. He didn't know how to get the younger boy to just believe him. They were both stubborn on what they believed.

Dan turned to look at him but tried to keep emotion off of his face, he would give anything to believe what Phil said but it wasn't true. He just had to face that he had a single customer he enjoyed spending time with. And that he would move to someone else when Dan got boring. He held the eye contact however, kind of curious as to how Phil was gonna try convince him.

Phil leaned closer like he was going to kiss the younger boy but stopped. Still looking into the younger boys eyes. 

"I love you, you can tell that, can't you? Somethings different from me to the others, that's what it is. I saw you and no one else existed. I wanted to learn more about you, wanted to protect you. But you're making that so difficult on me."  Phil's hand moved up to gently touch Dan's face. "So just let me love you, and don't tell me what I'm going to do 'eventually'. Ever since we met, you're the only person who's been on my mind. you said it yourself. I wouldn't have trouble finding a relationship, finding people to have sex with, but I don't want anyone else, I haven't seen anyone since I started sleeping with you. So just deal with the fact I love you and it's not going away no mater what you say to me," Phil had a smooth tone to his voice trying to let his feelings come through, he just wanted the younger boy to understand.

 

"You're an idiot," Dan almost whispered as he pressed his lips to Phil's, he felt his eyes water a little but ignored it, this had been the most emotional night Dan could remember, and he didn't want to fight it right now.

Phil wrapped his arms around Dan's neck and deepened the kiss. 

"So are you,"  he mumbled and pushed Dan down into the bed. His heart felt so tight and he just wanted to kiss the younger boy till his uneasiness went away. "If I said you were off work, would you stop kissing me tonight?" Phil said against the others lips, not giving him any space to really get away if he wanted to.

Dan made a frustrated noise but kissed back, he wanted kisses he just didn't want these questions that were hurting his brain and making him think things he didn't want to. He pulled back for a second and met Phil's eyes. 

"If you knew even half of the stuff about my past then you wouldn't keep asking me stuff like this, you don't understand that when I say I am scared, I mean it, and asking me these things constantly is making it worse,"  He was getting a little angry at Phil, it was like he thought it was okay to bring all these things up even though it was obviously making Dan uncomfortable. "You can hurt people in more ways than physical Phil," he mumbled.

Phil pulled away and looked over the younger boys face. 

"Shit, I'm sorry," he backed off, he wasn't thinking about that properly. He was just wanting the younger boy to admit he wanted him too and instead he was just hurting him. Which is what he said when this first started that he wasn't going to do. "I'm sorry, forget about it," he sat up more and looked away but kept a hand on Dans arm. "I'll stop with the stupid questions," he glanced at the younger boy. "I don't know what happened before I showed up, I've tried putting some things together but I know I'm missing more. I'm sorry"

"Yeah, you are. You're missing a lot," Dan said and he was tensing up, not being able to help it. "You can't just.. 'piece' someones life together, you don't know _anything_ " he said harshly. "So I say I'm scared and you think you get that, you don't," Dan was standing now and he didn't really know why. 

"I'm scared because I have never done this, and by never I mean never, I started this when I was sixteen and I had never even kissed anyone before, hadn't cuddled people or held hands or gone on dates... I arrive here and they sell me for a phenomenal price because I was innocent and young and pretty and underage and a complete virgin, complete. Nothing. Before I was sixteen I was to ashamed to go near anyone because I was gay and that was bad, and all those sorts of reasons a closeted sixteen year old is a virgin... but when I got here they sold me to some rich forty something business man who took basically everything from me and told me to shut up and take it like a good whore. So when you act nice, and ask me if it feels good or what I want, if I would kiss you if I wasn't working...the answer is I don't know, I don't fucking know because _that_ , the business man or _men_ as it often is, _that_ is what I know. It's all I know," 

Dan was backed up against the wall now, as during his rant he had slowly worked his way backwards and now his hands where on the wall and he was scared, he was fucking terrified cause he had barely even thought about this, let alone say it out loud to another person, a client, and now he felt vulnerable and at the same time disgusting and worthless because he had just told this perfect boy in front of him how flawed he was, and he wouldn't want anything to do with a fuck up like him now.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk if you guys have seen the fan art of Come What May on tumblr! It was super good. If you draw any stripper Dan or any fan art of Come What May, make sure you tag it as "Come What May Fic" so B and I can see it!!! Thanks!  
> -Mongoose


	10. Stay Close Don't Go

Phil felt his heart be ripped out of his chest, he didn't expect that to come from the younger boy. Phil didn't like how far apart they were now. How the other had backed away from him. He didn't want to scare or hurt Dan but that was what he did and now Dan had run from him. He couldn't believe that the younger boy had nothing. This life was really all he knew. Phil was stupid for assuming that Dan had some experience before the club, but now Phil understood what the younger boy meant when He said he sold part of himself. 

He sold everything to an old man he's never seen again. Phil shouldn't have forced his own emotions on him like he did. Phil was probably always hurting the younger boy every time he went on about loving him when that was something Dan didn't understand and couldn't possibly understand right now. Phil looked at Dan who was scared and against the wall now. He got up and moved across the room to the younger boy touching his face gently trying to comfort the boy he hurt. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please don't hate me," Phil's voice cracked slightly as he tried to look at Dan's face, memorize what it looked like before the younger boy kicked him out of his life. "Please don't, I'm sorry, don't hate me"

Dan flinched away from the touch, he didn't mean to or want to, but he felt very exposed right now and judged and didn't want Phil to mock him, which is what it felt like. Why would Dan hate Phil? Dan was the disgusting one. The one who didn't feel human because he didn't understand basic human connection. His life so far was messed up, there was no denying that. It had left him feeling like he had no worth other than the notes thrown at him or taken from wallets after sleazy secret encounters hidden from wives and lovers. Dan was something to be ashamed of, and he would see that whenever he passed a past client on the street, the way they averted their eyes from him like he was something nasty. He didn't say anything, and kept looking at the floor.

Phil noticed the flinch and his stomach tightened. He was worse then any of those guys, he hurt the other boy deeper then they could even imagine. All unintentionally which made Phil even sicker. He was too caught up in how he felt he didn't notice how he continuously messed with the others emotions every time he asked a question and even slightly held his affection hostage. 

"I'm so sorry," Phil said again, he knew he had messed up this time. Each time Phil visited was always chipping away at the younger boy and this time Phil broke him.

Dan looked up at Phil and held his eye contact for a moment before saying. 

"See? You get it now? I'm not special, I'm nothing"

"No you are special, I'm sorry for forcing how I felt on you. You are special, you are a human with a life, your life, its yours its different from everyone else's," Phil's thumb gently moved across the younger boys cheek. He felt so guilty.

"You don't...it's not how you feel, you pay me to make a fantasy, you think you love me, you paid me to say it back, its not real,... until it starts feeling different to me, until I start feeling safe with you and I enjoy my time with you and then it's like getting punched in the gut because I'm a whore and I am starting to fall into my own fantasy," 

Dan didn't really understand love, but he was pretty sure the feeling he got whenever he looked at Phil was close to it, and Dan knew Phil could do so much better than him. He didn't want Phil to need to deal with this, with all Dan's issues and problems cause he deserved better. He looked at Phil again, pleading with his eyes for Phil to not just read him like he usually can, to not see that he isn't telling the truth. 

"I don't love you, I don't even know what love is, how can I feel something I have never experienced?"

Phil shook his head. 

"No that's not true," Phil felt like he was being slapped with the harsh reality of everything. 

The younger boy didn't love him just liked that Phil was young, and didn't hurt him and paid well. So when Phil said 'I love you' Dan was just submitting to Phil's fantasy. 

"Tha- no, you can love me, you do, that's what I wanted you to see thats why I bothered you with so many questions, " Phil pulled away, no longer holding the boy, he wasn't making it any better. "I'm sorry, it was foolish of me, to think that someone like you could ever fall in love with someone like me," Phil retreated back a little, he didn’t want to force himself on the younger boy any more then he had.

"N-no I... I do feel... You know what? It doesn’t matter. You deserve someone much better than me anyway and I hope you find them and you are happy with them because you deserve more than to waste time and money on something worthless like me," He was shaking a little and wiped his eyes as he pulled the rest of his clothes back on.

 

"But I wanted you," Phil said watching the younger boy get dressed. "Please don't leave tonight," he said softly trying to swallow the lump in his throat. "I never cared if you were good for me."

Dan turned to face Phil, shirt still undone and met his eyes. 

"It's not that I'm not good for you, it is that I am the worst choice you could possibly make. Did you just witness that? I just totally freaked out because you asked me if I would kiss you off the clock. _That_ is called having issues and is something that is just going to upset you getting involved with," He sighed before continuing. "And fuck you, for making me cry, for making me feel weak. I thought I was strong for dealing with all that and not letting it break me down but all it took from a few words from you and I was a mess,  fuck you for making me feel something, for making me feel happy for small amounts of time before I need to go back to reality, for being perfect and lovely and making my chest feel tense when you walk in a room..." He paused for a moment before walking forward saying another. "Fuck you," before capturing Phil lips in a rather aggressive but needy kiss.

Phil felt guilty but accepted the kiss, he did make the younger boy feel _something._  And Phil hoped it was something more then lust and desire. 

"Stay with me," Phil said against the kiss, submitting into it and letting Dan control how rough and angry he wanted it to be. 

He knew the younger had issues, would be difficult, but Phil had accepted all of that the first night, that there would be times they fought, and times the other cried because of things he's been through. Phil knew that the younger boy would have secrets. But he didn't stop loving him, not once. He still wanted the beautiful boy, the problems that came with Phil would handle. But he didn't want to let Grey feel alone anymore.

Dan kept kissing back, the kiss getting less angry as time passed. 

"Even that, I've never stayed with anyone before," Dan muttered before kissing him again. Just wanting to forget all the drama that he just caused for a moment.

"You might like it," Phil said softly, he didn't want to scare the boy anymore though and wasn't going to push that anymore. If he could control it he didn't want to fight, and didn't want to make Dan cry again. "Don't worry, you don't have to,"

 

"Okay," Dan basically just breathed out, then realizing it might be unclear what he is saying okay to he clarified. "I'll stay," he was sick of fighting against this.

He wanted to be close to Phil, more than anything, and after his little emotional relapse he was tired and sick of fighting.

Phil let himself smile slightly. 

"Thank you," he whispered and moved his hands back to running through the younger boys hair, still damp from his shower. "No more questions I promise," Phil still felt awful about that, he had to be more careful and delicate with the others feelings. He was always so careful physically but when it came to emotions Phil bullied him and pushed him around. But he would do his best not to do that anymore.

Dan nodded and he felt himself start to relax again a little.

"I'm not weak," He stated, he felt the need to state it. More to himself than Phil, but he didn't want Phil thinking he was weak. Breakdowns like that didn't happen to Dan usually.

"You're stronger then I am," Phil admitted. It was true, Phil was sure if half the stuff the younger boys been going through happened to him, he wouldn't have been able to handle it. At least the other was able to continue trying his best at what he did.

Phil never had any problems like that. His parents were accepting that he was gay, he was out to everyone he knew, he was given a great job with hardly any effort and he lived comfortable. He had it easy. Out of the two of them, Dan was definitely stronger.

Dan's hands held onto the back of Phil's arms as he stepped closer and bent his head a little and rested it on Phil's shoulder. 

"I just didn't want you to think I am weak, cause I have been acting like it tonight and I am sorry," He felt stupid about everything now.

Phil turned his head to kiss Dan's softly. 

"I know,"  Phil said softly. "You're alright, it's ok, don't apologize," he was afraid to say too much, but the younger boy had nothing to apologize for. Phil was the one who pushed him to the edge. He moved his hands down to Dan's waist started placing kisses on the others shoulder lightly. 

"Wanna get ready for bed?" Phil asked taking a step slightly forward to move them a bit closer to the bed. Phil's hands worked down to gently play with the hem of Dan's shirt.

 

Dan nodded but didn't make any effort to move, he pulled Phil closer to him and held him there, he was almost cuddling Phil at this point, but wasn't even thinking about that. He just wanted to feel cared for.

"It's alright, I've got you," Phil said placing more kisses to Dans shoulder and neck. Guiding him closer to the bed and sitting him down. Phil kneeled in front of him and lifted his shirt up slightly. 

"Do you want to borrow some comfy pants?" Phil asked gently tugging the shirt over Dan's head and kissing his cheek.

Dan shook his head. 

"No, I'm fine thanks," Dan said in a small voice, he didn't feel comfortable with that as it would be yet another first. 

He pulled his own pants off leaving himself just in boxers and got under Phil's covers, still looking at Phil but not speaking, he didn't know what to say. He couldn’t quantify his thoughts right now, it was everything from wanting to cry to kiss Phil to running out the door. And he didn't know what kind of words would come out if he tried speaking.

Phil nodded and stepped away to change into his pajamas. Then kneeled on the bed. Leaning over the younger boy and petting his hair softly. 

"Can I sleep next to you?" He didn't want to make the other boy uncomfortable again by assuming it was fine. It was another new thing.

Dan paused slightly, then nodded. He wanted Phil next to him. He still didn't understand why everything felt like such a big deal tonight but everything seemed intensified. He pulled the cover back on the other side of the bed to show again that it was okay.

Phil smiled and crawled into bed next to Dan keeping distance between them. but he reached over and rested a hand on the other boys waist.

Dan relaxed a little and tried to get comfortable, he liked the feel of Phil's hand on him still, reminding him that he was still there. Some time passed, and Dan got more and more relaxed. He felt brave and scooted over to Phil, not even knowing if he was awake anymore as he didn't know how long he spent lost in his thoughts. He  tentatively curled into Phil a little, not to much. Just testing to see if it was okay, and he felt lighter already feeling Phil's warmth close like that.

Phil smiled slightly, happy that the other had moved closer on his own accord.  he moved his arm more around the younger boy. Just to give him more security. Phil moved his thumb gently along the soft skin on Dan's back.

"Hey," Dan said softly, noting Phil was awake and he moved a little closer, still hesitant but doing so anyway. "Thanks, for asking me to stay. I am glad I am not alone right now," He said quietly.

"Mhm," Phil mumbled. "You're always welcome here," Phil kept caressing the boy gently. "I'm glad you stayed too," this time Phil moved closer, wanting to feel their bodies touching.

"It's just hard sometimes, to not see everyone as a bad guy, you know?" Dan relaxed against Phil, taking comfort in their proximity and he smiled a little not being able to help it, he was cuddling up to Phil. Cuddling. So this is what it felt like. "Can you, um, could you like, hold me?  I just, I dunno, It's okay if you don't want to..." Dan knew he was blushing and he looked away, but he wanted to feel it, properly.

"Of course," Phil smiled and kissed Dan's forehead before working his arms around the younger boy and pulling him close tucking the other under his chin. Phil pressed his face into Dan's hair and breathed softly.

"Thank you," Dan said quietly. "It's nice, thank you,"  he sighed feeling more relaxed than he had in a long while, already feeling himself get sleepier.

Phil gently caressed the younger boy happy he was able to give Dan a first that wasn't filled with fear, or regret. This was completely on the younger boys own will. 

"Go to sleep, you're safe," Phil whispered kissing the top of his head.

Dan started to drift into sleep, and one of his last thoughts was how odd it was to feel arms around him, and even stranger how he felt safe in them.

Phil tightened his arms and waited for the younger boy to fall asleep. Hearing the soft rhythmic breathing from Dan, Phil allowed himself to fall asleep realizing how much he missed this feeling. The feeling of keeping someone safe.

Dan slept through the night, he felt warm and safe and honestly it was the best sleep he could remember in a long time. He woke up early, and Phil was still sleeping. He was scared again but only cause so much happened the night before, he needed to be alone and think about it all. He sighed and looked over at Phil, he looked so peaceful when he slept, innocent even. 

"You're not the first, or the last, but you're possibly the prettiest," He said quietly. He got out of bed quietly and dressed quickly. He found Phil's wallet and took his fee, albeit a smaller one than he should have charged and wrote a quick note. 

"I took what you owe, no more than that, don't worry. Had to go home and think. Sorry," he left it next to Phil and then headed towards the door, he turned when in the doorway of Phil's room and said quietly. "I'm sorry," before heading out the door and out of Phil's apartment.

Phil woke up just as early but stayed where he was, not making any notion of moving or any sign he was awake just keeping himself with the younger boy. Then he heard the soft words come from the other. He tried to keep his face neutral so he wouldn't know he was awake.  After Dan left Phil waited a few minutes, then sat up and looked to the note he had heard the younger boy writing. Phil nodded to himself, he expected that. It's why he didn't stop him, Phil knew the other needed his time alone now. He was just happy he at least got the one night to hold him close and for one night felt like he loved someone and was loved in return. Just by cuddling. 

After relaxing in bed for a little while longer Phil got up and prepared for his day, ready to face another long week alone. His friends had begun to question what he does on a friday night. but he couldn't possibly tell them. which was so strange to him, he wasn't ashamed of being with the beautiful boy. If he saw him on the street would approach him, or smile at him. But  if his friends knew the current relationship he had going on he would never hear the end of it. That upset Phil, he wanted them to know. wanted them to know he was in love with the most beautiful and interesting boy in the world. But they would never be ok with him paying weekly for sex. Even if phil was ok with it(in favor of seeing the boy.)

Dan got home and spent most of the day trying to work out his feelings, why everything felt so confusing, Why Phil was different. In the end he decided that it was to risky, he was too scared of being hurt and frankly Phil already knew to much about him for him to feel comfortable. He decided to stop seeing him, professionally and personally. It would just end in hurt otherwise. It upset him, because he had genuine feelings for Phil but he just couldn’t risk those feelings being smashed. 

When he next went to work his boss yelled at him for only having one client the night before and Dan knew he didn’t believe him when he said that Phil had been to rough, but he did see the marks and ignored the concerned looks, concern for his worth, not well being. The rest of the weekend went like any weekend, and time kept running like it did for Dan and before he knew it, it was Friday again.


	11. Crashing From the High

 

Chapter 11 

 

Phil was a bit anxious coming in this time. He wasn't even sure why. Maybe it was just cause he never got to properly say goodbye last week. He just missed Grey and wanted to see him. Phil came in and saw Dan out at the bar, strangely, it wasn't after hours yet. But the boy was dressed like he was ready to go on stage to dance. 

"Hey Grey, I missed you," Phil said causally, biting his lip. He wanted to kiss him but Dan felt a bit distant so Phil waited for him to talk.

Dan was talking to the one of the girls behind the bar, it was a fairly quiet night and not a lot to do so Dan thought he would get a drink before he went on tonight, but he heard Phil's voice and his face dropped. Phil had been in his mind since he had left that morning, and that scared him. He was angry at him, for winding his way into his head without Dan ever giving him permission to do so. 

"Hi," Dan said a little coldly. Trying to think of how to word his thoughts, but irritation and although he wouldn't admit it, fear, took over and he snapped out. "This isn't happening by the way, I can't deal with this," he looked Phil up and down a little accusatory. 

How dare he turn up, all perfect looking and acting, just to totally fuck up his head. It wasn't fair. It's not like he actually cared about Dan, he just liked how he looked so decided to take Dan for a ride, fuck with his idea of reality and Dan had started to fall for it like some love struck teenager who didn't know what love meant. Because in reality that was what he was, although he would never admit that. And what he did allow himself to feel so far confused the hell out of him. 

"They don't pay me enough for this," he said angrily, taking a swig of his drink.

Phil's stomach dropped. 

"W-wait what?" He said a bit scared, he didn't understand, they had gotten into a fight last time but it resolved they were fine, what was going on? "I can pay you more if thats what you need. I just was paying what you said I owed," Phil said a bit embarrassed. his face flushed slightly. "What do you mean this isn't happening, please don't make me leave," Phil panicked.

"I can't make you do anything, but I'm not going with you," 

Dan wanted to say that he wasn't paid to get emotionally attached to someone, that that shit hurt more than being beaten and physically abused, that enough people had fucked with his heart and he wouldn't let Phil do that to him but instead he just turned on his heel and went back out the back room, drink abandoned. Out of fight or flight, he chose flight. The feeling in his chest when he was close to Phil scared him to much to let him stay and fight.

"N-no, wait!" Phil followed him but then Dan disappeared behind the back room. 

 Phil pouted, a guilt sitting in his stomach trying to figure out what he did wrong. His mind kept going back to last week when Dan went home with him. But they resolved that, he thought. Phil found his way to a seat in the audience. He would wait till after hours and try again to talk to him.

Dan calmed down enough out the back to go onstage and do his performance, however he stuck to the opposite side of the stage, not even looking at Phil once. It made him more anxious, it was like he couldn't escape it. 

The dances finished and after hours began, and Dan was frozen out the back. 

"I'm not going out there," he said turning to one of his coworkers Zach.

"Someone you don't wanna see?" Zach asked, he was a blonde boy  a bit older and more masculine then Dan, but still pretty in a way. He looked out into the crowd no one seemed threatening, it wasn't that busy either. If it weren’t for their boss Dan could probably get away with just leaving. "Your hot guy is here, you can take it easy if you can rake up enough money with him," Zach started putting on his after hours clothing.

Dan shook his head. 

"No I don't wanna see him tonight," He said looking away, not noticing a small smile creep onto Zach's face. "He will leave soon if I hover, I will go out once he leaves, if the boss notices I'm not there just say I am with a customer okay? I will cover for you sometime if you need it," he looked back at him, really hoping he didn't ask any questions. They were all in the same boat here, there was a mutual respect where none of them asked personal questions because they all knew they were running from something.

Zach looked back into the crowd at Phil. 

"He's really good looking, Grey..." Zach's voice trailed off. "If you don't want him tonight I'll take him, that way you don't have to worry about him and can work with someone else while I'm busy," Zach said smiling. 

It was a bit rare that someone so young and attractive came in that could actually buy them for an evening and he didn't want to let that money just walk out the door.

"How old is he even? 25-28's my guess, no way hes 30 yet."

Dan felt a weird sensation in his gut and he suddenly didn't want to be talking to Zach anymore. 

"You're probably not his type..." Dan said dismissively. Dan was his type, not Zach. He immediately scolded himself for the thought.

Zach rolled his eyes at Dan. 

"We're easy sex, we're everyones type," He said simply before slipping out onto the stage earning some claps from some people who already wanted him. 

However Zach was going for the challenge tonight. Ever since Phil first came here a lot of the dancers had their eye on him. But Grey had put a claim on him, so although everyone eyed him up. No one dared make a move. But Dan had said he didn't want him tonight which left him up as fair game, if Zach could seduce him. 

He did an impressive spin around the pole to get some attention. However Phil was actually not paying attention at all, he kept his eyes fixed on the curtain waiting for Dan to come through so Phil could talk to him again. Zach wasn't so easily shaken though. He moved off the stage and stepped closer to Phil getting his attention by putting a leg up on the arm of the chair. 

"Hey beautiful," Zach said. Phil looked up at him a bit startled. 

"Huh?" Phil asked suddenly very distracted by the boy in front of him. But continuously making glances over, not wanting Grey to leave with someone else. 

"Don't be afraid I'm not gonna hurt you," Zach  said in a sultry voice leaning over Phil, putting his hands on his shoulders to push him into the chair. "Unless that's how you like it," 

Phil felt ridged he wasn't sure how he was supposed to respond, this wasn't Grey. Phil spoke up. 

"I-i'm waiting for Grey to come out," Phil said trying to keep his voice steady as he kept looking over to the curtain.

Dan could see through a gap in the curtain as he was still back stage, he saw Phil look anxiously at Zach but then still seemed to be looking for him, it gave him a little feeling of satisfaction, that Phil wasn't instantly drawn into Zach like he had been to him. But he couldn't keep thinking like this, those thoughts where dangerous.

 

Zach put his fingers along Phil's jaw turning his face to look at his. 

"Grey's busy tonight, but you can still have fun with me, Im Zach, I have a last name too, but what does that mater were not getting married," Zach lowered his body so he was more into Phil's lap, straddling his hips. "But we can still have some fun together can't we?" 

Phil let out a shudder, it felt weird to have another boy on him. It wasn't cheating, he wasn't even with Grey for him to cheat on him. Cause he was a stripper, and this boy on him now was a stripper. This is just what they did. Grey was tired of having the same thing every week and now wanted something else. That's why he pushed Phil away today. But why did it all feel so real, it felt like love with Grey. But maybe that's just what strippers did. Phil relaxed a bit and started looking back at Zach. 

"I'm Phil," he said putting his hand on the boys hip.  Zach smiled and rolled his body against Phil's. 

"Phil...." Zach said letting out a soft faked moan. "What about it, want to go back to my room with me?"

Dan felt like he was stalking Zach now but he kept looking, checking up on Phil if he was being honest. When he saw Phil's hand on Zach's hip and Zach roll his body against Phil he felt a combination of anger and sadness, mostly sadness. He _thought_ Phil wanted him specifically. It looked like Phil was easily settling for Zach now though, hardly even tried to look for him. 

He was a hooker. Phil didn't _care_ about Dan. He wanted to fuck Dan, mess with him a little. And now he was moving onto Zach. He made an irritated noise. He was so stupid for thinking anyone would give a shit about him. He had nothing to offer anyone even if he had wanted to.

Phil wanted to say no, and just go home actually. But the other part of him wanted to just see if it felt the same as it did with Dan. That what Phil felt for him was just him being foolishly caught up in having someone underneath him offering the world. Or was there more? 

Phil nodded and Zach stood up taking Phil's hand and guiding him out. Phil kinda made to turn to Dan's room when he passed it but they kept walking. Duh of course they had different rooms. He continued to follow till they entered another room. It was set up a little differently then Dan's. Just the furniture was moved. The bed covers were different, and the atmosphere just felt different. This wasn't Grey. but Phil didn't know how to back out now.

Dan poked his head around the corner when he couldn't see them and then saw them walking together towards the back. Dan's heart rate increased and his sadness turned to anger. Phil actually didn't care at all, he lied. The things he said when Dan went to his, Lies. He hated him. He hated them both. Thats what the pang in his chest was, it wasn't hurt, or him being let down... of course it wasn't. Was it?

Zach dropped to his knees in front of Phil mouthing at Phil through his pants and pulling at his belt. 

"What do you want me to do for you?" Zach asked as he pulled Phil's pants down to start touching him.

Phil gasped at the sudden contact, he didn't know what to do. He really didn't want to be here. What if Grey was out looking for him now? 

"Uh, lets go to the bed," Phil stammered. 

Zach stood up and started getting undressed, being in just his underwear now. he pushed Phil over to the bed. Phil was taken aback by how forward this boy was. He was here for sex and thats what he was going to do. 

"So Phil are you a top or a bottom?" Zach said pulling up Phil's shirt and straddling his hips. 

"Uh both I guess, whatever you want to do..." Phil said a bit helpless under Zach at the moment. 

"This is supposed to be what you want," Zach said running his hands up Phil's bare chest. 

That was weird for Zach to say cause this whole thing so far seemed to be to opposite. Phil quickly pushed up and turned him over so now Phil was on top of Zach. 

"Let me try this my way," Phil said swallowing harshly as he brought his lips down to the other boys.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dan didn't know what to do with himself, kept thinking about Phil, about Zach being all over him, about Phil's little noises being for Zach and not for him. He knew it was jealousy, but he didn't understand why. Phil was a customer, and Dan a paid service. He had no right to be jealous. He didn't go out the front, he wanted to sulk for a while. His best customer just picked someone else, sentencing Dan to a much less pleasant evening when he did go out the front. He couldn't stop thinking about his eyes.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

Phil didn't feel the same heat from Zach's lips that he felt from Grey's. Zach was trying, he got into it. Threw his arms around Phil's neck, but it all just felt empty. 

Zach didn't normally kiss his customers, he had a strict rule against it actually, but none of them ever looked like Phil. Phil continued, he stretched Zach properly, earning the same confused look that Grey had given him. Eventually pushing his cock inside of the other boy, loud moans falling from the blondes mouth. 

Phil couldn't help comparing everything back to Grey, he didn't sound like Grey, he didn't feel like Grey. There was a difference. Phil could almost cry thinking about it now, he loved Grey, there was no doubt about it. But to Grey Phil was just money, and an easy night. Phil rolled them over instructing Zach to ride him. Phil didn't want to think about this anymore. He tried to block out all thoughts and focus on what he was feeling. Closing his eyes. but all he imagined was Grey.

Phil sat up wrapping his arms around Zach and moving his hips making Zach moan louder. Phil leaned his face in kissing Zach's neck. He didn't mean to, he really didn't, but the name Grey fell from his lips. That's who he was thinking of, who he wanted. Zach heard but didn't say anything just continued their motions. Phil came and Zach came soon after and was a bit impressed with Phil. 

Phil paid him and left. Zach charged more for what they did the Grey did too. Not that that was a problem, but every difference stood out to Phil. He didn't want any hooker. He didn't even want a hooker really, he wanted Grey, just Grey and whatever Grey came with. Phil walked back out into the club, not even thinking about staying, he wanted to go home. Try again tomorrow or next week.

Dan had eventually gone out the front, he couldn't sulk all night. He was sitting on the lap of some older man,  grinding on him and kissing his neck. Would have been an easy sale if he hadn't seen Phil walk past, walking quickly straight to the door. He didn't even hesitate, a second later he was off the disappointed potential customer and following Phil out the door. 

"Didn't realize you were into blondes," Dan said sassily, defenses high as he didn't even know why he followed him out in the first place.

Phil turned around and saw Dan standing there. He pouted, he didn't understand why Grey was here, what did he care, Phil had waited for him. 

"Well you never cared to ask, what does it mater?" Phil snapped back. Now wasn't the time, Phil felt dirty and wanted to clear his head and wash his body from what happened. He didn't feel this guilt when he was with Grey.

"It doesn't" Dan said quickly, glancing over Phil, taking in his appearance. To him it just looked like he had enjoyed himself, enjoyed being with Zach. "Is he a better fuck than me? Is that it? You gonna get him to come to your house next weekend?" He was being confrontational, but mainly cause he didn't want Phil to walk away.

"God no," Phil said rolling his eyes. "Look you were the one who told me we weren’t happening tonight ok, you pushed me away," Phil glared at him, what right did Grey have to call him out on this. Phil had waited for him. "You cant tell me you don't want me anymore then get mad cause I tried getting past you."

"I didn't say  I didn't want you," He paused. "You, you don't get it I don't get paid enough for this emotional shit!" Dan's voice got really loud suddenly and he folded his arms across his waist. "You know what? Fuck you. Everyone else in there wants me, _everyone_ what makes you so fucking special?"

"'I'm not going with you', sounds a lot like 'I don't want you' to me," Phil stepped closer to him. "Nothing makes me special, what makes you special!? I don't know anything about you and I cant stop thinking about you. I could leave and never have to deal with all of this ever again but I cant stop coming back, and it's you. I tried, Zach isn't the same. Unless you want me to try sleeping with everyone one of your coworkers till I'm over you".

A small whine noise escaped Dan when he talked about never coming back 

"You're just a client, you don't matter any more than anyone else in there," But Dan had tears in his eyes now. "Stop manipulating me by telling me you feel stuff for me! No one does, ever. Stop lying!!" He shuddered a little, this conversation hitting home for him emotionally. He felt like an exposed nerve.

"If I don't matter then why are you out here, you could have just let me go, what game are you playing at?" Phil said stiffening up, he could see Dan about to cry and it was hard for him to not just go over to him and pull him close. Hug and kiss him till he felt better. "I don't understand you, you're the one who's manipulating me, you're doing it now. With your sad eyes, you're making me fall in love with you making me come back. but what will happen when I don't want to pay you anymore you're going to be gone aren’t you?" Phil moved closer to Dan. "I cant keep coming back here I'm just going to keep falling for you, you think my emotions are heavy on you, but I'm the one who actually has to carry them all the time." 

They were shouting at each other, it was weird they hardly knew each other yet this seemed like the fight before a breakup.

Dan wanted to yell and scream that he had emotions too, that he didn't know why or where they came from but that they were there all the time. Every time he closed his eyes he saw Phil's, at night when he was finally alone he didn't wanna be, he wanted to be with Phil. His laugh, his smile, all these things randomly coming into his mind. How kind he was, how since he had met Phil, every bad thing that other customers did seemed so much worse now because he had felt what it was like to be on the other side, to feel love. 

And he hated Phil for that, because now when he was abused it was nearly unbearable, where as before it was just life. He wiped his eyes quickly, not wanting to show weakness. 

"Do you know how much of  a contrast you are to them?” He pointed to the people inside. "Yeah. they all want me, but they want to _use_ me, a lot of them wanna hurt me, and a while ago that was fine. I didn't know any better. But then you fucking showed up. And you were _nice_ and _kind_ and _cared_. Then you leave, and I have to go back to them again, but it's different now, because I _know_ what it's supposed to be like. It's made it worse. And I hate you for that, for coming into my head when someone else is fucking me and making me miss you, making me resent what used to be my normal," he was really angry now. He knew a lot of his emotions where mixed up, but he didn't care. Phil had no right to fuck him up like this.

"I hate you too!" Phil shouted, part of him bracing to just storm off and never come back here. "Maybe I want to be in your head. I want you to miss me, because I want you to love me. But you don't and I'm stuck here with a bunch of feelings for someone who will never understand how to love me back, I never wanted this. I didn't want to come to this stupid club, I didn't want to pay for sex with you, I didn't want to come here every week. All I wanted was a chance with you, to take you on a normal date, but you're too stubborn to do anything, so I made a compromise and I keep coming back and talking to you as a way of getting closer. But in the end all you ended up doing was pushing me away for no reason."

Dan was quiet for a moment. 

"Don't pretend you know anything about my life, you can call me stubborn if you want thats fine. But there is so much more to it than that, but you wouldn't get that. You don't go through the shit I do, so sorry If I'm not normal enough for you, can't really help it. And there is every reason to push you away, you just don't know them cause you're not in here," He pointed to his head before taking a deep breath and continuing  "Say what you want, but no one made you come in here that night. No one made you stay after hours, and no one made you go with me. You walked into my life, not the other way around. So blame yourself for whatever you're feeling, not me,"'

Dan met Phil's eyes and all the emotions going on inside him made him act impulsively, Phil was so close and he would just have to lean forward and pull him forward a little  and they could be kissing. So that's what he did, with a harshly muttered. "Fuck you," before their lips collided and Dan kissed him roughly, aggressively, this wasn't acting this real and raw and he hated how much he loved it.

Phil gripped at Dan's hair pulling him closer into the rough kiss. He didn't realize how badly he needed this. 

"I hate you," Phil mumbled but didn't let go of Dan, he didn't want to stop. Just vent all his frustration into the kiss. He couldn't rebuttal anymore with Dan's mouth pressed against his.

Dan licked into his mouth almost needily. Hands going down Phil's body and grabbing his ass, pulling him closer. 

"I hate you too," he said into the kiss, gripping Phil close to him and kissing him almost dirtily, he needed this. He could taste the other male in his mouth and he needed to replace it, needed Phil to go home with Dan's taste, not Zach's.

Phil's hand that wasn't tangled in Dan's hair was on Dan's back gripping tightly at his shirt. Phil's tongue moved aggressively against Dan's. This is what kisses should feel like. Full of something, even if at the moment it was anger it was far better then the empty kisses from Zach. Phil wanted to go home with the memory of Dan pressed against him like this, not the other boy.

Dan moaned into Phil's mouth, his hands moving up his body again before gripping his collar then turning, pushing Phil up against the wall harshly, bodies flush together as he bit at Phil's lip before his tongue entered his mouth again.

 

Phil gasped as his back roughly hit the wall, but he didn't care. He didn't want this to stop. Phil pressed his hips into Dan's, moaning softly as Dan's tongue entered his mouth. Hands tangled in Dan's hair gripping harshly but not pulling him in any direction. They were out in the open anyone could walk by and see them, but neither of them seemed to care at the moment. Everything was just raw emotions fighting to figure things out without words.

Dan kept kissing him, getting completely lost in the perfection that was Phil. He pulled him closer, trying to get forever closer to him, kissing him deeper, one hand started to creep up his shirt but then he suddenly pulled back, looking at Phil wide eyed and scared, not liking that anyone could make him feel like that, make him lose himself. 

"No," he said shaking his head and taking another step back, even though all he wanted was to kiss him again. "I gotta go," he said then without waiting for a reply turned and went back inside, getting instantly lost in the crowd, his mind still running overdrive.

Phil stared back at Dan his mouth hanging open slightly. He wanted to grab him and pull him back. But before he knew it Dan had already run away. Phil sighed, it wasn't worth trying to go back in. He would come back, he had to, it was Phil's choice but like Phil had said the first night, he _needed_ him. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zach was backstage looking for Dan, he saw the boy come in looking confused and Zach began approaching him.

"Hey Grey, I've been looking everywhere for you, your door was open and I didn't see you with anyone in the audience," Zach paused for a moment before continuing. "So uh, your guy, Phil, he's something else isn't he?" Zach said pondering what he was thinking about. 

He had heard Phil moaning Grey's name. And he could feel the lack of want with everything Phil did. 

"He doesn't have sex, he makes love. and that was the problem, he's not in love with me," overall the sex was good, just empty. Phil wanted to be with someone else, he was thinking of someone else. 

 

That was something Zach had never experienced before. Most people there wanted to be with the stripper they were buying. Not fantasizing over another one.

Dan laughed falsely. 

"Thats the thing though, they _think_ they are in love, but they aren't. Our customers, they fall in love with the idea of who we are...I hope you were nice to him though, he's not like the rest here, he's not sleazy. Remember that if he books you again okay?" Dan was still convinced that Phil was gonna move on from him and Zach would become his regular, and he tried to to keep the sadness off his face.

That coupled with the confusion and fear at how strong his emotions where Phil were getting was a horrible combination, and he just wanted to go home.

"He wont book me again, that was my fault, I cornered him and caught him on rebound," Zach said he could feel Dan being defensive. "Or maybe he just forgot my name and decided he liked yours better,"  Zach said casually.

Dan looked up and met Zach's eyes. 

"He said my name during?" He said a little quieter, trying to act casual but couldn't help that that made his heart beat faster.

"Yeah, it's not like it bothered me or anything, he was still great in bed. But I can imagine that if thats what it felt like for me, what it must feel like to have someone fall in love with you," Zach said softly looking to the ground. "Ahh you're so lucky, I want someone to fall in love with me, that must feel amazing during sex. Not that I don't enjoy sex already with some of my clients, but to have someone really love you. Wow" Zach said smiling, "Yeah well, that was all. I wanted you to know that I'm jealous. And I wont be stealing your customer again, want me to give you half of what he paid me?"

 

"No thank you, you're the one who earned it not me," He smiled at Zach, it wasn't his fault. "It's good and bad, I mean if they love you they build you up to more than just a service you know? They wanna be _with_ you. I just don't want him to end up with the wrong people in this place," he said sadly. 

He felt bad now, from this conversation it had become clear that although Phil slept with Zach, he had still been thinking about him. He was trying to get over him, because he thought Dan didn't feel anything. 

"I'm not gonna work tonight, I feel crappy, but I will give the boss money as if I did. If he asks you if you saw me with someone can you say yes?"

 

Zach nodded, he understood. 

"You sure you don't want some of my pay? You're basically losing money today," 

Not everyone did, but some of the other dancers babied Dan, he was practically a fetus to them when he got there, everyone knew what Dan went through with their boss. So they tried to be kind to him, help him out when they could. Everyone here had a past they didn't want to talk about, and a future they didn't know would come. 

"Don't worry, about boss ok, if he asks you know i'll cover for you any day"

Dan shrugged 

"You earned it so you get to keep it, thank you," he was glad that Zach would cover him "I will see you tomorrow night," He added before quickly going and getting dressed into normal clothes,  leaving out the back and walking to the train station, not wanting to get a car because then his boss would know.

 

It was a cold night and he had never felt more lonely.


	12. Sore Spots

Phil couldn't wait to see Dan again, he spent his whole night thinking of the younger boy. Soon enough it was the next day, Phil took his usual place, where the younger boy knew to look for him. This had become expected by now.

Dan of course spotted Phil straight away, but tried his hardest to not look at him, their eyes met a few times, and Dan quickly looked away. When his performance was over (and it wasn’t his best, he wasn’t feeling it at all) Dan went away from Phil and got a drink before anything. Skulling it back to numb how his heart felt, that Phil was here. Dan so badly just wanted to run off with Phil and repeat last weekend but he knew he couldn’t. Not anymore.

Phil followed Dan instantly when he saw the younger boy head toward the bar.. 

"Grey," Phil said moving in next to the younger boy on the bar. 

He felt scared now, he thought everything was fine, as fine as their sort of thing was. But he noticed the younger hardly looked at him, and seemed off in general. Phil looked down and saw the bruises on Dan's hips. Phil hadn't put those there, they were much darker. He reached out and gently touched the younger boys hip.

Dan moved his hip away a little. 

“Don’t,” He muttered. There had been a guy making eye contact with him all evening and so Dan was pretty sure this stranger wanted to book him. That was as good of an excuse as any. “I can’t go with you tonight, pretty sure I am booked with someone else,” 

He said avoiding looking at Phil's eyes, and ordering another drink, drinking it just as fast as his first.

Phil felt a lump in his throat. He had never been shot down for someone else before. He didn't like how it felt. He knew the other slept with other men but for some reason being told 'no' because the younger boy was going to be with one of them just highlighted the fact. 

"But..." He didn't know how to argue. He couldn't this was the younger boys work. "When you told me you loved me, was that really all just..." He let his voice trail off he couldn't say the last few words.

“N..Phil,” Dan met his eyes and he knew his eyes where telling Phil that he meant something. Of course he did. “You don’t know me, and trust me you really don’t want to,” 

He kept his eyes locked with Phil's, silently apologizing for everything.

 

"I'm learning though, I want to know you," Phil wasn't seeing into Dan's thoughts this time, he was too scared. "I know your neck is sensitive, you like a lot of nerdy games, you drink a lot of coffee," Phil continued listing things he remembered. "When you orgasm you curl your toes. You told me what you've been through and I'm still learning," Phil's eyes continuously scanned over the younger boys face, trying so hard to read something but his brain was everywhere. "I love you Grey"

Dan felt something inside him snap. 

“No, you know what I have told you, you only know what I allow you to see, you don’t know the proper reasons why I am here, you don’t know if I have family, you don’t know much of anything, you don’t know where I live,” He was still looking at Phil, defiant to break the eye contact. “And you don’t love ' _grey'_ , grey doesn’t exist. My name is Dan. You didn’t even know my name so how can you claim to love me?”

He turned and started to walk away but within a few meters someone grabbed his wrist harshly, he turned expecting it to be Phil, but it wasn’t. He glanced back at Phil. Before turning to the stranger.

Phil watched him walk away for a second before looking away.

"Dan," he said softly.

The name seemed to fit the younger boy far better then Grey ever did. Being told that information only made him want the younger boy even more. When he looked up there was already someone else touching Dan. Phil had to hold himself back from running over to them and pulling Dan close to him again. But the younger boy had already told him not tonight.

 

“Hey doll face,” The other man started trying to get Dan to pay attention. “I see you and... him seem to be having a bit of a heated conversation, I can share my toys, if he wants to get involved to. We can share you,” 

Dan swallowed hard. 

“No,” He said simply, he wasn’t going to involve Phil in something like that, not that he would want to be involved anyway. “No it’s fine, you don’t need to share me.” 

He appeased the man in front of him and gave him a fake smile. The man started running his hands over him then came to the bruises, he made a “tsk” sound and dug his fingers against the discolored skin causing Dan to hiss and wince. 

“I’m not paying full for you, look, you’re damaged goods. Your boss needs to maybe get more sluts  so you can get all pretty again before selling yourself... but these could be fun,” 

He dug his fingers again and Dan reacted but less than before, showing some defiance against this man he already disliked. 

“Don’t worry, you get a discount when stock is damaged,” He said without a hint of a smile, glancing at Phil seeing he was still there and wishing he would leave, he didn’t want him to see any of this.

Phil hated this feeling, he felt it before when he saw Dan go away with the two men. Now again as the man objectified the younger boy. To Phil, Dan wasn't 'goods' or 'stock' he was a human, a beautiful human who didn't belong in this underworld. They all did that when they looked at Dan, and Phil was understanding why Dan couldn't see his worth. 

When all his life he has only been worth what someone would pay for him. Phil swallowed and watched the two, seeing the man touch the bruises made Phil flinch too. Phil decided again he would stay the whole night. He wanted again to make sure the younger boy was ok.

“Do you have a name? Actually I don’t care. I’m gonna call you bitch,” 

Dan nodded and felt himself start to kind of zone out of reality and go into work mode. He was meant to encourage the clients but that was hard when Phil was so close. 

“Whatever you want baby,” Dan said smiling but his smile dropped when the man leaned closer to him and said,

“I have a public kink, bitch. Can you help me with this? I think you can,” 

This was the worst possible thing that could happen in front of Phil. Dan felt his cheeks burning, pre empting humiliation. 

“Yeah, sure, as I said whatever you need,” He fake smirked at him and caught Phil's eye out the corner of his own. The man went to kiss him and Dan stopped him “I don’t kiss” He said sternly and then squeaked as he was pushed down harshly and his face pushed against the mans crotch. 

“Well I don’t have patience then,” the man snapped. “Undo them,” he commanded and Dan did what he knew which was to comply.

Phil felt wrong, he didn't belong here. He swallowed the lump in his throat and looked away again. He didn't want to see this. No one would want to see the person of their affection being on public display for everyone. But he felt a small spark in his heart again when Dan said he didn't kiss. Phil was special in that way, he kissed Phil. But when he heard the squeak from the younger boy he looked again feeling his heart sink as he watch Dan undo the mans pants.

As soon as Dan got the mans pants undone there was a hand yanking his head back, and then the man had his cock against Dans lips telling him to open his mouth. He did as he was told, and as expected the man didn’t give Dan any adjustment time just started pushing into his mouth. 

“You have such a pretty mouth I can see why you are a whore, take more,” he said and made Dan do so, he choked a little because this wasn’t under his control and he was given no time to adjust. 

There was a small group watching now, and Dan looked up and met Phil's eyes. Then squeezed them closed because he was humiliated. The one person he had ever had feelings for was watching this, and must be starting to understand how worthless Dan was.

But that wasn't what Phil thought at all. He just wanted to take Dan away from here. Now other people were watching and he knew what all of them were thinking. That Dan was just a sex toy for them to use, and the young boys pained sounds didn't mean a thing. But to Phil, he just felt anger that someone was hurting Dan. _His_ Dan, he was his, cause he wasn't Dan to anyone but him.

Some other guy started touching Dan's face as the man continued to push himself into his mouth before pulling back and Dan gulped down some much needed air. 

“Do it properly,” The man ordered before pushing into his mouth more roughly and holding Dans nose. “I will let go when you do it properly.” 

Dan make a few more choking noises before managing to relax his throat and take what the man forced him to take. He griped a chair leg, panicking a little at the lack of air, knowing they wouldn’t take it to far but not enjoying it at all. His eyes were watering a little at the intrusion as the man started to get closer and closer to just fucking his face, and Dan just let it happen. He felt numb and sick and just went with it.

Phil held his breath, not letting himself breath until Dan could. He didn't understand how someone could just treat another person like that. Phil didn't see any pleasure from doing that to someone. Phil looked at the other men who would touching themselves through their pants, other people not touching the beautiful boy were turned on by Dan in pain and discomfort. Phil felt sick and turned away to order a drink. He had to let Dan do his job, this is what he did. What he was paid to do. He took a few shots before turning back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This carried on for a while before the man pulled back .

“Open,” he said shoving his fingers into Dans mouth to force it open if he didn’t oblige. 

He did, and the man spat in his mouth and that made Dan gag more than the previous activity, which was resumed straight away. He kept pushing into his mouth before  pulling back and running his cock over Dan's face. To which Dan responded by just closing his eyes and trying to ignore it, he was roughly pulled up by his hair and  the man started gripping his bruises making Dan hiss again. 

“Had enough of your mouth now, I want more,” 

Then the man started to pull Dan's pants down roughly. Making it painfully obvious how much Dan wasn’t enjoying this. 

“Is bitch not having fun?” the man mock cooed before making Dan turn around as he examined him. “Tell me you want it,” he said, and Dan did, his voice raspy from prior treatment. “Tell me you’re worthless,” 

Dan paused but said it anyway, it was true after all.

Phil's stomach dropped. This was how Dan was treated all the time. Just usually not in front of everyone, but it showed him why Dan always thought he was worthless. Thats what he was told, every time he had sex he was told he was worthless. Dan wasn't getting anything from this exchange with the man but some money. 

So when Phil came along and only wanted to touch him he must have confused and scared the younger boy far more then he originally thought. Phil made a small movement like he was about to move forward and intervene. 

"Hey," 

He heard a voice behind him and saw the barmaid Claire shaking her head at him. Phil swallowed and looked back at the horrible scene of the man abusing his beloved Dan.

“At least you have a good mouth, and a good ass, worthless people need to be good for something and yours is being fucked,” 

Dan looked at Phil at this point, he was humiliated but _this_ is what he needed Phil to understand. 

“Yeah, exactly,” he said to the man. 

He pulled Dan's face down and Dan fell in the process before a cock was in his mouth again, harsher, and Dan just took it. Eyes on Phil, it calmed him looking at Phil, and for a second he was happy Phil was there, before he realized that Phil would never come any where near him after seeing how truly worthless he was.

Phil didn't know how to let the younger boy know he didn't think he was worthless. He didn't, even seeing Dan humiliated in front of the crowd, he never thought worthless. Phil felt uncomfortable. Looking at Dan's eyes while another man fucked him. It wasn't right, but Dan didn't look away so neither did Phil. He didn't want to let the other feel disconnected from him. No mater what was going on he still had Phil.

Dan felt empty, and wondered if Phil could see that. When he was with Phil he was into it, and felt it and wanted it, this was the opposite. The man held the back of Dan's head and pushed all of himself into Dan's mouth and made him hold it. Dan's hands came up beside his face like he wanted to free himself but couldn’t. After a few more seconds he pulled back and Dan inhaled deeply. He was pulled up roughly and pulled away by his hips. 

“Move faggot,” 

Dan had an obvious physical reaction to that word, he shuddered then said forcefully. 

“Call me anything but not that, don’t call me that or this is done,” He was pushed into a booth where people couldn’t really see so much now, but they would still be able to hear.

Phil started to get up and was called back again by Claire. 

"I'm just going to sit over there," Phil said looking back at her slightly pleading to let him go. 

"Alright but I'm watching you," she said and dismissed him. 

He moved over to the booth next to them undetected by the businessman. He couldn't see them now, but could still hear everything, which was slightly worse as it let his imagination run free of the horrible things the younger boy was going through.

Dan did not like this man, he forced him to bend over. 

“Condom,” Dan said quickly before the man could get to far and he pulled one out of his pocket and handed it to him. 

He pulled out a bit of paper at the same time all it had written was. “If you need me- Phil” and a phone number, and Dan nearly started crying looking at it. He needed him, he needed him now, he needed him to cuddle him and make it all better but he couldn’t. He shoved it back in his pocket, he couldn’t think about that right now. 

A few seconds later without warning the man entered him rather forcefully and Dan yelped loudly, a multitude of pained noises slipping out and he hoped that Phil couldn’t hear any more.

Phil flinched, Dan was in pain and there was nothing Phil could do. He felt so helpless, having to sit there and let the boy he loved get hurt and violated by another man.

Dan kept quiet but he couldn’t help it when Phil's name fell from his tongue, it was quiet, almost like he was begging. He just hated that people where listening to this, judging him on this. He could handle being the beautiful boy on stage who everyone adored but got treated badly in the back room but not this, not so publicly, he hated it 

“Phil,” He whined in a tone half panicked half pained, though he didn’t expect any response. Phil probably wasn’t even there anymore. 

“Shut the fuck up,” the man said hearing him whining.

When Phil heard his name he couldn't take it. He had to stop this. Phil got up before a hand quickly pushed him back down. 

"Don't you dare hun," Claire said setting a drink in front of him. "He's working right now, you'll get him in trouble," she made a sad glance to where Dan and the other man are. "You already lowered his paycheck by leaving bruises on him," She said. 

Phil shook his head at her. 

"No I didn't do those, those are too dark," Phil said and she rolled her eyes. 

"You did the original ones, and somebody else didn't appreciate it too much. You're lucky you get away with what you do, just let him do his job tonight," She said and walked away. 

Phil  waited till Claire couldn't see him anymore before moving next to the booth. 

"Dan? It's alright I'm right here," Phil said in a hushed tone, hoping it was still loud enough for Dan to hear. But not loud enough for the man.

Dan heard Phil and felt a mix of comfort and confusion, he figured out Phil must be on the other side of the booth. He whimpered as the man gripped his sore hips and got harsher with his movements. 

"Back off of the bruises," he hissed at the man. 

In response the man just dug his fingers against them harsher and without thinking Dan pushed his hand through the gap around the corner of the booth towards Phil, his head was close to the corner so the man fucking him wouldn't notice, but Dan hoped Phil would.

Phil moved closer and took Dan's hand gently. 

"It's alright I'm right here," Phil said softly his voice cracking. He felt tears come to his eyes. "I've got you, you'll be ok," he tried saying words to comfort Dan. His hand lightly caressing the younger boys.

Dan wasn't so much in pain anymore, it was more the dehumanizing part of this that was getting to him, he was used to being handled roughly, but in private. Being out in public and seeing the people who liked him dancing before see him badly treated made him feel disgusting, less than human. It was like every time this stranger pushed into his body Dan felt less human, and the only thing keeping him grounded was his hand in Phil's. But this wasn't fair on Phil, he shouldn't need to witness this, he knew how much Phil would hate this. The man yanked Dan's hair making him look in front instead of down, causing another small yelp from Dan.

"Arch your back bitch," 

He did as he was told and as the man started taking him harder he squeezed Phil's hand, trying to stop himself shaking.

Phil squeezed back. 

"Dan, I'm right here, I wont  leave you," Phil was crying now. The boy he loved so much was being humiliated in his work place and there was nothing Phil could do to stop it. Just try to let Dan know he didn't think any less of him, and he wasn't alone. "It's alright."

"I-I'm sorry," Dan muttered as quietly as he could. 

The man decided it would be fun to make Dan talk, that he wasn't humiliating him enough. 

"What's your worth slut?" 

Dan answered with the answer he knew he was supposed to give, and in this moment believed. 

"Nothing," He replied. 

"Exactly, worthless dirty whore, that's all you are. Bet your parents are so proud of you," 

Dan made a noise of annoyance at that comment, because frankly that was uncalled for, and he noticed Dan's reaction. 

"Oh is that a sore spot? Don't Mummy and Daddy love you slut?" 

Dan was quiet for a second. 

"Shut up. Just shut up. You are getting everything else why do you need to talk?" 

He then called Dan a smart ass and squeezed his bruises again.

Phil felt anger now, Dan was right. The younger boy was already giving everything and doing everything the man asked so why did he feel it necessary to add anything to this. 

"You are beautiful, and perfect, and worth so much more then he ever will be," Phil said in a hushed voice.

Dan felt tears on his cheeks now as the confusion of this situation was just to much. 

"Are you fucking crying?" He then proceeded to spit in Dan's mouth again and told him to stop being a pussy and take it like a man. 

He pulled Dan back around and onto his knees and made him go down on him again, while calling him filthy. Dan obviously had to drop Phil's hand, but it would be clear to Phil what was happening because Dan was making enough noises with his throat for that to be very clear.

Phil reluctantly let go of Dan's hand and wiped his own eyes. He was crying too. Phil heard Dan's choking sounds again and put together what was happening. He felt so sick, mainly because he was helpless to save Dan.

The man had pulled the condom off so Dan assumed that the sex part was over, the man kept fucking his mouth and was soon moaning loudly, obviously close. He pushed Dan down onto him further, making him gag and choke as he came directly  into his throat, and Dan felt sick. The man kept this motion up and eventually pulled back, leaving Dan to swallow then breathe deeply to try get some much needed air. 

"Good slut," the man said then threw the money at him before standing up and leaving. 

Dan pulled his pants up but made no effort to leave the booth. He got the money and put it in his pocket then just sat on the floor. Needing a minute.

 


	13. Namesake

 Phil waited for a moment. He wanted to instantly rush to the younger boys side, but didn't want to overwhelm him. Phil felt guilty, like he allowed the previous scene to happen. He did, but there was nothing he could have done, that was what he convinced himself at least. It was Phil's fault there were bruises on him, and Phil's fault Dan was getting paid less. He didn't want to add more things by interrupting his work. Then Phil got up and snuck to the other side of the booth, seeing the beautiful and broken boy sitting on the floor. 

"Dan?" Phil said softly making his presence known before taking a small step forward. 

Treating Dan like he was a small animal that would easily be startled away. Phil kneeled down next to him and tucked his hand into Dan's, giving the other a soft squeeze. Phil felt terrified, thinking this is what Dan always looked like after a session But just made himself look nicer before going out again, to go through the same thing again. Every night.

Dan looked up and shook his head but gripped onto Phil's hand anyway. 

"Y-you're not supposed to see me like this," He muttered, voice hoarse and croaky as he tried with his free hand to make himself look better but that was kind of impossible right now.

More than anything he looked tired and used up, and the only thing that made that look go away was fake smiles and showers to clear his head but he had no intention on moving right now. Dan was used to this treatment, but not used to others bearing witness to it, and he didn't know how to deal with that right now. He felt like an exposed nerve, his fake persona was to far away for him to reach and therefore he was exposed and on display when he shouldn't be. But regardless of all this, he felt something in his chest react when he heard Phil call him "Dan".

Phil moved his thumb gently across Dan's hand. 

"I wasn't going to leave you," he said softly. 

All the things Phil wanted to do but couldn't right now. He wanted to punch the other guy, he wanted to hold Dan, he wanted to take him away from here. But Phil stayed where he was, calmly caressing Dan's hand.

"I'm sorry, that you witnessed that, I'm sorry," Dan said quietly, just staring at a spot on the floor. "Why do you even wanna sit with me right now, I am disgusting," Dan whispered and touched his darkening bruises with his free hand, wincing. 

The man had been really rough with them and they wouldn't go away for weeks now, meaning Dan was gonna need to work more to get his normal pay check, a thought that was so daunting to Dan in this moment.

Phil frowned seeing the younger boy wince at the bruises. Phil was going to answer Dan's question but afraid it might frighten him away. 

"Because I love you," he said softly. Phil scooted next to the younger boy and put his arm around him cautiously, hoping this was ok. "I'll cover the other half of your pay. It's my fault for putting the first bruises there," Phil offered and pulled Dan a bit closer to him.

"N-no it's not, I wanted them, I could have stopped you but I didn't," Dan muttered blushing. "It's not your fault," He let Phil's arm go around him but he did tense up, he felt odd being touched right now, even affectionately, probably because it was still such a new concept to him. "Thank you, for before. I am sorry for calling for you, it was stupid you didn't need me to do that," he said looking away, he knew he put Phil in an uncomfortable position.

"You needed me," Phil said softly and moved his hand gently across the younger boys skin, he could feel the boy tense up but didn't move away. "I didn't want you to feel like you were alone".

The truth was Phil had never been more scared or sad by anything until that moment when the person he loved was so close and needed him but he could do nothing more then secretly hold his hand. But he was trying his best now to be brave.

 

"This is what I didn't want for you, you are too perfect for this. You are pure, you have a soul, you shouldn't need to sit here with the person you care for making them feel better after letting someone fuck them for money, this, it shouldn't be something you need to deal with," Dan shook his head. "You are so much better than me," Dan wiped his eyes as he felt the tears starting again.

Phil didn't want to deal with that, he rather have a simple relationship that was easy. But when Phil thought more on it he rather have this boy so much more. Phil saw him as worth far beyond what the younger boy was letting himself believe. 

"You aren't forcing me to stay," Phil said softly.

"I feel... humiliated. You, especially you, weren't meant to see that. Hear me calling myself worthless, fuck, to _see_ me being worthless. I can't look at you cause of it, I just feel... I don't know. There is no world where hearing that, hearing me choking and gaging and getting hurt, is okay," Dan blinked a few times then sighed. "This is why people don't care about me, I am to much work."

Phil sighed too. 

"You are a lot of work, but thats just it, I think you're _worth_ it. I know you don't believe me and you think you're worthless, but I don't think that,"  

Phil closed his eyes for a moment he always had terrible visions of what it was like when Dan was with another man, now he knew the full visual of how horrible it was.

"Are you going to...work again tonight?" Phil asked cautiously. He didn't want him to.

Dan wondered for a second if Phil wanted sex, but that was just his work brain. 

"I don't want to, but I am already behind and haven't brought much money in, and working at half rate. I could deal with it but my boss gets mad cause he gets less of a percentage if I bring less in obviously," He sighed. "I really don't want to".

Phil leaned over to Dan and kissed his head gently. 

"Let me buy you for the night then," he said kissing him again."I'll pay full price and make up for what the other guy didn't pay," Phil moved his hand delicately across the boys skin.

"Phil I, I don't want to sleep with you after this, I'm sore, and I can't hide that from you like I can with other people," Dan mumbled and looked away embarrassed.

"I wasn't going to ask you to have sex with me," Phil said softly. He knew last time he tried to buy the younger boy without the intentions of sex Dan shot him down.

"So you just want to pay me to.. sit with you and stuff?" Dan shifted a little uncomfortably but met Phil's eyes and held the contact.

"Y-yeah," Phil said, really nervous now that Dan had finally met his eyes since the previous scene. "Maybe kiss you too," Phil said cautiously

 

Dan nodded, he couldn't help it. Time with Phil was just so appealing and made him feel safe. 

"Okay, yeah, okay," He said sounding unsure but still meeting Phil's eyes. He had no idea how Phil could want to kiss him, after witnessing what he had just now. "You will still wanna kiss me? After seeing that? You don't wanna just... make a massive pillow fort and hide in it so I can't contaminate you or something?" 

He used humor but the message he meant was clear. He was telling Phil it was okay if he never wanted to kiss him again after seeing his mouth do stuff he never should have seen.

Phil smiled, happy he was able to keep the boy safe with him for the rest of the night. 

"Well preferably after you brush your teeth," smiling and leaning forward to kiss his cheek. "But if you want to build a pillow fort and hide in it _with_ me that sounds fine too," Phil moved his hand up to gently play with the younger boys hair.

"You are amazing," Dan said, completely straight faced. He leaned into the touch, his head was sore from getting his hair pulled so this was soothing. "I should go get clean" he said quietly.

Phil nodded and stood up slowly. Then extended a hand to Dan to pull him up carefully, hoping he wasn't hurting him more. "Want to come get me when you're ready or can I go wait in the back room for you?"

"Hmm, nah stay out here, get a drink and stuff and I wont take long," Dan said and lead Phil over to Claire again. "Look after him, and if anyone approaches him tell them to get fucked and back off," Dan said protectively to Claire before going out and trying to make himself look and feel a little more human.

Phil sighed and sat down on the stool. Claire came over and gave him another drink. 

"You know, I've never seen him happy before, it's hard to see, but when you're here he's actually started to have hope in his life," Claire was talking to him but not looking directly at him.  "Save him," she said sadly. Phil swallowed and nodded

Dan got showered and clean as fast as he could. He knew they were over stepping the line, but he didn't care. He wanted comfort right now, and Phil gave him that comfort. He still felt ashamed, and hated that Phil had seen all that, he was going to talk to him about all that later but for now he just wanted to be cuddled against him. He got dressed in clean work clothes so as not to look suspicious, and put Phil's number into his phone, smiling as he did so. He also kept the little bit of paper, not sure why. He went back out and sat next to Phil. 

"Hi, I look better now right, a  stranger would have no clue what happened or how I feel. See how this works for me?" He sighed and nudged Phil's side "Ready to go out back?" He just really wanted a hug.

Phil smiled and nodded, although he knew it was  a mask, it made him feel relaxed seeing Dan groomed again. 

"You were still beautiful,"  Phil said standing up and pulling Dan away.  

When they made it to the room and the door was closed Phil pulled Dan to him in a tight hug, his hand going into Dan's hair. He just wanted to keep the boy safe now, after everything he saw he wanted to hold him more then ever.

Dan was a little surprised by the sudden act but naturally relaxed into it, his arms wrapped around Phil's waist as he breathed Phil in and for the first time all night he felt safe, he felt okay again. He didn't let go, he just wanted to stay like this, it was like Phil was holding together all the broken and fragile shards of who he was, and making him feel whole. Complete. Human.

Phil ran his hand through Dan's hair and turned his face to nuzzle against his cheek. He was scared if he let go now the boy would just fall apart into different pieces. Phil had never felt this amount of dedication toward someone. And he didn't know how to explain why he felt that way. Maybe it was when he realized how much the younger boy needed someone, him, that Phil became so attached. He wanted to save him from this. He didn't want the younger boy to have to suffer through this every week when he could do so much more. Phil kissed his cheek gently, keeping his arms tightly wrapped around him.

"Thank you," Dan mumbled against Phil's chest, as he tucked himself under his chin and sighed deeply. 

After a few minutes of this Dan started walking them over to the bed, pulling Phil down with him and giggling as he did so.

Phil laid down next to Dan his arms wrapping around him again. 

"Hey you," Phil said smiling. He was happy to have the younger boy so close and safe. He couldn’t get hurt if he was with him.

"Hey," Dan said smiling, he felt so much better now that Phil was close again and all the people who didn't care where a few rooms away. 

What they had was so far undefined, and from Dan's end the feeling was undefined, but he loved the feeling of it. He loved feeling safe. 

"Say Dan? Just, like, say it. It's been so long since I have heard it. No one knows my name, so no one calls me it," He said quietly.

"No one?" Phil asked, that was really sad to Phil.

A stage name is understandable but no one called him Dan outside of work? Phil started to wonder if Dan ever saw anyone on days he wasn't working. 

"Well I'll call you Dan. It suits you, much better then Grey ever did. you aren’t grey."

"My life is grey," Dan said quietly. "That's why I chose it. I came here, had no idea what was gonna happen in my life and they told me I was pretty, that I could make some money here, and if I wanted to I needed to choose a name. And I said grey. Lowercase. because I mean it as an adjective, not a noun. Everything I saw was grey, my life was grey, my mind was grey. Everything. They chose Bear. I didn't get the joke to start with but I did once I started working," he paused for a moment. "Things seem to have a little more color now. It is still grey, but there are random bursts of color sometimes".

Phil had a sad look on his face. He brought his hand to Dans face and caressed him gently. He wanted to ask about why he left home. 

"What's Dan's last name? Your real one, not Bear," Phil asked softly. "If I ask a question you don't want to answer just tell me no and I'll leave it alone,"

Dan nodded and met Phil's eyes, refusing to look away. 

"H-howell. Daniel Howell," He hadn't said that out loud in so long, he had almost forgotten who that person was. "I don't really know him anymore though," he added.

Phil smiled gently at him. 

"Thats a nice name though. that suits you,"  Phil moved his body a bit closer to Dan's. "My last name is Lester,"  Phil said still looking at Dan.

"Nice to meet you Phil Lester," Dan said smiling. He sat up a little, the angle hurting his hip as he was leaning against the bruises. "Fucking bruises, gonna be  uncomfortable for days now," he pouted and played with Phil's hand.

Phil looked over the discolored skin, it looked painful. 

"I'm sorry," Phil said again. He still had a guilty feeling. "Can you take time off to heal? Have you ever taken a sick day?"

"Stop saying sorry, _you_ didn't do this. You left marks on me that I liked, they tingled a little and I loved it cause it reminded me of you, When I showered I saw them and smiled cause I knew your hands had been on me. They were.. passionate. These are violent. It is not your fault violent men book me, so do not blame yourself," he said this sternly because he meant every word. "And I have taken sick days off..." he looked a little uncomfortable. "But the level of hurt you need to be is far greater than this, trust me," he looked away, knowing he just admitted he had been seriously hurt before. "Honestly Phil this is nothing, they wont give me time off and they wont have sympathy either."

Phil's stomach tightened knowing that someone had hurt Dan, worse then this, he was scared what qualified as worse. Was he unable to move it was that bad...however  it did feel nice knowing Dan didn't blame him, that he liked the marks that Phil had left. That they made him happy. Phil looked up at Dan who was now slightly elevated from sitting up a little bit. 

"Come closer so I can kiss you,"  he said playfully

Dan smiled and shuffled closer, leaning down so he was a few inches from Phil's face but not closing the gap, he ran his hand up Phil's arm softly up to his neck and caressed the soft skin there. He liked that it was intimate, this feeling was growing on him. It was scary and fantastic all at once.

Phil moved his hand to tangle into Dan's hair, massaging his head gently. 

"Daaan, I need kisses," Phil whined. 

He liked the feeling of Dan gently touching his skin. Because it was so innocent. despite everything Dan did regularly. There was still a part of him that was so innocent. And that was when it came to affection. Phil smiled gently at the younger boy waiting for him to close the gap.

Dan leaned in and pressed his lips to Phil's softly, he still felt a little self conscious wondering if Phil actually wanted to kiss him, or whether he felt obligated. He thought Phil would have ran away after what he saw tonight, but he was still here, he was dealing with it and still spending time with Dan and Dan saw that as strong, because he knew that couldn't have been easy. To get involved in something so complicated.

Phil smiled and tilted his face up to press a little bit harder into the kiss. He had a brave face on for Dan, but inside he was terrified still. He knew that stuff was going on, but now he witnessed it, it brought a whole new light to the thing. And Phil learned to respect Dan so much more. Now that he knew what he went through. He pulled away delicately. Phil's eyes trailed over the beautiful boys face before quickly leaning for another kiss.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so apparently this has blown up over twitter o.o hello everyone, and ill have you know i am stalking you all, there is no hiding, i see all.


	14. Obsessions & Fetishes

 Dan kissed back again and then he pulled back, he could tell Phil was thinking about something and he wanted to know what. 

"What are you thinking about?" He asked quietly before pecking his lips playfully and smiling.

"Hmmm, stuff," Phil said softly he wasn't going to tell Dan he was scared. That would only make the younger boy think he was going to get too scared and leave. And that wasn't the case.

He slid himself out from under Dan. Phil stretched slightly looking around the room. He never noticed there was a lot more things in here then he originally thought. He remembered the drawer that generally held condoms and lube, but there were more drawers with more things in them. Phil felt a spark of curiosity and looked back at Dan. 

"Hey, I don't want to have sex tonight or anything, but can I just...look through your drawer?" Phil said tilting his head a little to the nightstand.

Dan didn't push the thoughts, Phil was entitled to his own thoughts and Dan knew that Phil would have some things going on in his mind right now he didn't want to share. He had seen a lot tonight. He laughed at Phil's request and nodded. 

"If you like, but please don't get freaked out, I think some if it may surprise you is all," he sat up and watched Phil, genuinely quite curious if Phil would even know what half of the stuff the drawers contained was.

Phil cautiously scooted toward the drawer, opening the top one, it was just condoms and lubricants for the most part. All different types and brands. Nothing too out of the ordinary, Phil had his own much smaller collection of this stuff. Then Phil pushed some stuff aside and found some vibrators. That wasn't bad either. Phil looked over at Dan. 

"Do people use vibrators on you? I figured they would be more into what's best for them," Phil asked.

"Yeah, it's mostly they want me to use them on them, there have been a couple who have used them with me, but more because they are into withholding orgasm, and honestly that's not the most fun thing cause when they are bored, that's it," he laughed a little, it was weird talking about this stuff but it wasn't bad.

 

 

Phil shook his head. 

"That's mean, if they are going to intentionally build you up like that they should at least let you come," Phil said and pushed around the drawer just some average looking cock rings. 

Assuming that was more with the withholding orgasm. Phil thought it was fun to build someone up too, but with the intention of seeing them come apart later. He closed the drawer and opened the next one, he took a breath as he saw inside. Handcuffs, some leather, some metal, some fuzzy. Whatever the person was in the mood for he guessed. Phil tugged on one of the leather handcuffs and pulled it out. The strap between the arms was way too long though. 

"Well for the purpose of handcuffs I don't think these do a very good job," Phil said and looked at Dan through one of the cuffs.

Dan laughed and took the item off of Phil. 

"This, is a sex sling. These bits," he held up the loops. "Go around your ankles, and the padded bit behind your neck, when you lie on your back with it on then it forces you to keep your legs up without so much pressure in holding them there, I actually really like this cause holding your legs up for ages hurts, also, the main purpose of it is for deeper penetration and keeps your hips at a high position," He handed it back to Phil, finding his lack of knowledge of these things cute. Dan knew this stuff like the back of his hand.

"Oh," Phil said a bit shocked, but that didn't seem too bad,... yet. 

He looked through the drawer more, pulling out some ball gags and blindfolds. simple bondage stuff it seemed. He found some collars and picked them out of the drawer. There was a small metal bar and Phil picked it up in confusion, playing with it it extended out. 

"Please tell me they don't hit you with this," Phil asked looking at the bar a bit scared.

Dan laughed again. 

"No, that stuffs in another drawer," he paused and laughed at Phil's reaction before continuing. " That is a spreader bar, it goes between your legs and you extend it as much as you want, and when they put it on me I can't close my legs." He wondered how Phil was gonna react to the harsher items in his drawers.

 

 

"Ahh that's horrible," Phil said making a distraught face, and then smiling as Dan laughed at him. 

Phil was a bit nervous, if that was the stuff he was already seeing, what else was there. He already had seen things he didn't know existed. Phil cautiously closed the drawer after putting some things back inside it and opened a lower drawer. Instantly he was shocked with what he found in there. 

"What! What is this, it looks like a saw trap," Phil said pulling out a device with large hooks. He turned it over in his hand unsure of its use.

"It holds your mouth open," Dan said still smirking a little. He was actually having fun, he had never just talked and looked at this stuff, and in a strange way him and Phil were bonding over this. "It looks worse than it is, but it's not very pleasant," He commented.

"So definitely a saw trap," Phil said laughing  and putting the scary device back. 

All of this stuff was things to restrict Dan's movement so far. Making it so he can't close his legs, or he cant close his mouth. Phil saw something and his eyes went wide. 

"Dan, what even?" Phil pulled out a terrifying muzzle, it had a large leather mouth piece and many straps to go around the face. "Why is this, if people wanna have sex with someone thats not going to make sounds they should get a fleshlight," Phil pouted and leaned over to Dan giving him a kiss. "I like when you make sounds and you talk," Phil said placing another kiss to his lips.

Dan kissed back. 

"I'm glad you do, I like that I can do that with you, and that I actually feel good with you, and your noises are amazing," Dan said in between short little kisses. "A lot of people who come here want to feel more than human, and to do so, they want to dehumanize the person they are with, it's a pretty popular kink, and people have it on different levels, from simply in words like making me call them master to people making me wear that," He pointed at the muzzle. "And worse," he added. "That's why it's a well paid job, you never know how someone is gonna be with you when you take them into this room, I thought you were gonna be quite kinky, a lot of the people who seem nice to talk to, and seem really anxious at first are the ones who use this stuff," he laughed a little. "I am glad you weren’t".

 

Phil laughed too. 

"Nope, no kinks," he pressed his lips harder against Dan's. "I'm kinda nervous whats in the other drawers," Phil said softly. 

He was still curious, in a way this was really interesting what fetishes people had. What he didn't like was the stuff being used on Dan and Dan not getting pleasure from it. He pulled a way and put a hand into Dan's hair.

"I've got a question, you don't have to answer it, I think I've asked before, but, do you have any kinky stuff you're into? Like does anything you have actually excite you? I'm just curious you don't have to answer if you don't know, I'd understand," Phil looked away a bit embarrassed he didn't want to scare Dan with intimidating questions. But if the younger boy used this stuff frequently Phil wondered if any of it was good for him.

 

"I... I don't really know, there are some things that I think if used in the right way I would enjoy, example being, people withholding orgasm from me but actually letting me come in the end would probably be fun," Dan blushed a little, he could talk about sex and not even feel at all anxious, but his likes and dislikes made him feel exposed again. "And like, um, smaller kinks like being restrained if I can trust the person not to hurt me, I don't like gags, um I think if someone learned to use the sensation knife properly and used it on my thighs it would feel cool, usually they use it on my cock and that is not fun not at all," Dan shivered a little. "I guess I don't really know what I like, I haven't explored what I like. I like sex with you, I like feeling human"

Phil smiled hearing the last bit. He was glad he made Dan feel human, that's what he was, and how he should feel all the time. 

"What's a sensation knife?" Phil asked, it didn't sound pleasant, and if people were using it wrong that sounded even worse. He liked the idea of trying something new between them, like light restraints, or playing with the vibrator.

Dan opened the top drawer on the other side of the bed and pulled out a small item, it had a handle and a small round discs with points. 

"It's not bad when it is used correctly, and I know how to. It makes you feel more sensitive as it stimulates your nerves..." Dan looked at Phil smirking lightly, moving the instrument from one hand to the other. "Give me your arm?"

Phil looked at the device, it was tiny but it seemed so violent and brutal. However Phil trusted Dan. Or he wanted to, so he extended his arm to Dan. In his stomach he knew Dan would never hurt him.

Dan smiled a little before leaning over and kissing up over Phil's wrist and up the underside of his arm before gently running the wheel up the length of his arm forearm, watching Phil's face for his reaction.

Phil held his breath and felt the light pins brush across his skin. He bit his lip and his eyes flicked from his arm back to Dan and back down. 

"Little harder," Phil said scooting forward. It was strange but he did like the light tingling sensation it brought. He wondered what it would feel like on his sides or chest.

Dan smiled and bit his lip before running the wheel over his skin again, this time a little harder as requested. Eyes still on Phil reading his reactions.

Phil smiled his tongue poking out slightly and he pulled his arm away. "Can I try it on you?" Phil asked opening his hand.

Dan swallowed and nodded, he had had some bad experiences with this little thing but he trusted Phil, he trusted Phil. This realization seemed to come at him from no where, even though really it was obvious.

"Yeah, I trust you," He said eyes locking with Phil with a level of intensity that showed this meant more than just using a toy on him.

Phil stared back at Dan and took his wrist, gently rubbing his thumb over the delicate skin. 

"Don't let me hurt you," Phil said and slowly brought the instrument down to the younger boys skin. Letting the device glide slowly across the skin up his forearm not pressing at all. "This ok?"

"You can press it a little," Dan said quietly, eyes still on Phil and not on his wrist, but flicking down occasionally. This moment felt almost too intense, but Dan loved it, intensity was new to him as well and he liked how the air felt thick and it was like Phil was with him in their own little bubble.

Phil nodded slightly pressing down and gliding the wheel up again. He liked how much Dan was trusting him. Trust seemed like something Dan never handed out to anyone. But Phil had it. At least right now, in this moment.

 

Dan liked it when it was used correctly, and he wanted to use this with Phil, wanted Phil to run it over his thighs and hips and he wanted to run it over Phil's chest and sides, knowing Phil's sensitive spots. He shivered at the thought a little. 

"I think we should revisit this item," he said smiling.

Phil smiled back and set the item aside. 

"Yeah, I'd like that,"  he leaned in and kissed Dan once more before moving away and going to the drawer Dan had taken the knife out of. "Ben wa balls?" Phil asked pulling them out and examining them, holding them up by the string. "I don't feel like these belong in the same drawer as that," Phil said gesturing toward the sensation knife.

Dan laughed. 

"Yeah, well some people use them as a sex toy so they need to be there, and I kind of just need to use them as in this industry it's an important part of your worth is keeping tight," Dan blushed a little.

"hmmm, I see," Phil said playing with them in his hand before setting them back in the drawer. 

This drawer was filled with a ton of little things, there was this strange metal ring with another metal piece looping over. 

"Whats this?" Phil asked, it looked like a cock ring in a way but it was small and had an extra piece.

Dan shivered. 

"Oh god, it's hell. It goes over the head of your cock and that little ball? goes _inside_ your slit and if you come with it in it hurts, it forces the come to stay inside and fuck I hate that thing," and he did, he hadn't used it a lot, but a few times was enough for him to completely hate it.

Phil threw it back in the drawer. Just the thought of it making him uncomfortable. 

"That's horrible" he said making a sad face. "What do people have against letting you come?" Phil didn't understand, building someone up was fun but why not let them come, that was just as fun, watching them let go in pleasure. That evil ring just sounded painful.

"People come to me so that they can do stuff that they wouldn't be allowed to do with someone else, in a relationship. that includes hurting me and making me very uncomfortable sometimes," Dan shrugged. "It's just life".

Phil wanted to add, saying 'life doesn't have to be that way'. But didn't wanna push him. 

"That's not fun," Phil said simply, just stating that he didn't like it, but not encouraging Dan to leave it. Returning back to the drawer there was a bottle that at first he thought was lube until he read the label. "Electrogel?"

Dan made an awkward face and bit his lip nodding. 

"I wondered when you would find that..." He stood up and got Phil to follow him to the wardrobe. "Don't freak out," He said and opened the door. 

He ignored most of the stuff, choosing to wait until Phil saw it himself before opening a drawer in the wardrobe and pulling out various things with electrodes on them, and a vault box.

Phil's eyes went wide and mouth dropped slightly keeping his attention on the things Dan pulled out. 

"W-what? They shock you? Or you shock them? What," There was an arrangement of things, things to strap on to the cock, and butt plugs, and just some pads to attach to the skin. "Why is this a thing?" Phil asked his voice getting a little higher and he moved closer to Dan putting a hand on his arm.

Dan shrugged. 

"Both ways, I've been shocked and I've shocked them when requested. It's not a big shock it's only small, but in some areas even a small shock sucks," he held up the cock ring and the butt plug to show what he meant. “Are you freaking out yet? I don't want you to run away remember these aren't my interests".

 

"I know, they scare me, I'm not going to lie. I don't want to use any of this stuff." Phil said scooting closer to Dan and resting his head on his shoulder. "I'd be more afraid if you said this was stuff you wanted to try on me,"

"No I wouldn't ever wanna try this stuff on you, I want you to feel good, and enjoy sex, not fear it or have pain," 

Phil's eyes rested on the back of the wardrobe locking on a silver cage looking like it was meant for a dog. 

"Oh my god Dan what is that?" Phil asked pointing to the cage.

Dan's face turned serious. 

"Nothing, I mean, I hardly ever have had to use it, only a few customers, once off customers, but yeah.. it's a cage"

Phil moved closer to Dan and wrapped his arms around his middle, nuzzling his face into his neck. 

"Nooo, my Dan does not belong in a cage," Phil said accidentally saying my, but moving on. He kept his face tucked against Dan's neck, and kissed the skin lightly before speaking. "It's more of the dehumanizing stuff isn't it?" he said in a sad voice, that idea will never be ok. "And by the way. I do enjoy sex with you, very much."

Dan smiled hearing 'my'. They weren't together, but god Dan wanted them to be. This was still terrifying to him, but he couldn't help but want it. 

"Yeah, it is another dehumanizing thing, I find that one really weird. I don't see what they get out of it. They just made me sit in it for a few hours, give them head through the bars, I think one of them came on me.. It wasn't painful or anything it's just demeaning," He moved a few things and picked up a large bit of plastic.

"This, stops me standing. It goes around your balls like and under your butt when you kneel down, and they lock it with a key. Then you can't stand up. and you have to crawl around. If you do try to stand it pulls on you"

Phil pouted and pulled Dan away from the wardrobe, he didn't like this stuff. and didn't like reminding Dan of this stuff when he was with him now. But it was interesting, seeing all the kinks and fetishes people had.he just didn't want them using Dan as a test subject. 

"Let's go back to laying down, that stuff sucks," Phil pushed the closet door closed and took Dan's hand, leading him back to the bed.

Dan smiled and went along with Phil, lying next to him but straight away deciding Phil wasn't close enough so he put his arms around him and pulled him closer "Hey," he said softly and giggled.

Phil tightened his arms around Dan. 

"That was interesting," Phil whispered since the other was so close.

He smiled back at Dan. happy that he was smiling again. The younger boy was so brave, going through what he did, being broken down like that. And still being able to smile. Phil moved his hand up to push Dan's hair out of his face slightly. Starring at him intimately.

 

Dan met Phil's eyes but didn't talk for a few moments, after a short while he whispered quietly. 

"You scare me," He paused before adding. "Not like the people who hire me do, I trust you, and you make my chest feel weird, and when you aren't with me I want you to be, and when you are with me I feel happy... You scare me," He felt this weird urge to say something else but refrained.

"That's not what scared feels like Dan," Phil said smiling. 

What the younger boy felt was love, but Phil wasn't going to bring that up, cause love did scare Dan. Phil didn't, but being in love with him was the scary part. 

"It's ok to be a bit scared, I get scared too," 

This was a different scared from Dan's. Phil's scared that one day he was going to come back and something would have happened to him. And scared he would never get to see him again.

"Not of me I hope, because I really wouldn't ever hurt you, you are too pure and perfect, and I feel like I am a big dark stain in your life, on your sheets, in your memory..." Dan ran his fingertips over Phil's jaw and then over his lips. "I still don't understand why someone like you, is working so hard at trying to save me..." 

When he said it out loud the words hung in the air around them, because it was the first time he had vocalized that, and he knew it to be true. Phil was trying to save him, from this life, and Dan didn't know if Phil could, but Phil was showing Dan things that he didn't even know existed before meeting him, and it was wonderful.

Phil stayed quiet for a second. 

"Don't you think you deserve to be saved?" Phil asked moving his hand gently down Dans cheek. "I fell in love with you, why wouldn't I want to show you there's something better then this," Phil tried to be cautious with his words, not wanting Dan to retreat from him again.

"I feel like, I need to understand what there is to love in me, before I understand if I deserve to be saved," Dan said quietly. "At this point I feel like you know Dan better than I do, to me, the lines between grey and Dan have blurred so much that I can't tell us apart anymore," Dan whispered the last part, it was like a confession, even though he was sure it was obvious anyway.

 

"Ah," Phil said simply thinking over what Dan had said.

All this time Phil had been wanting to just whisk Dan away from here and live happily ever after. But it was so much more complicated then that. 

"You're Dan all the time. Even when you're dancing. You said it to me too, grey doesn't exist. You're just Dan. No mater what name you tell people, you're just Dan," Phil swallowed hoping he wasn't pushing too hard again.

"But I'm not, when I am.. doing that stuff, not dancing, but for example earlier tonight," he shuddered a little. "That's not Dan, I zone out of it, I'm not even there anymore, it's like I am a different person because _Dan_ wouldn't do those things. I've always been grey here, since I ran away, so It's hard to imagine ever not being this," 

Dan didn't even realize that in his rant he had given away a little more information than he intended to.

"I'm sorry," Phil said backing down. 

Phil thought about the bit 'ran away' why did he do that, why did he need to? What pushed him to that? And deciding that here was better then where he came from? He scooted down and tucked his face into Dan's chest, this was a new position for them but it was where he wanted to be. Letting them lay there for a few moments. 

"Dan was the one who called out to me though," he said as it came to mind, not meaning it as another attack. "Don't worry you don't have to talk about anything else, it's all fine. I'm not questioning anymore"

"Dan was the one that called out to you, yes. And thank you for listening to me, I am really sorry for putting you in that position though, it must have been hard for you," Dan wrapped his arms around Phil and cuddled against him, liking this cuddling position. "And I am sorry for looking at you.. during... at the bar, you know? I just, it calmed me, but I made you feel awkward I could tell," Dan sighed and kissed Phil's head. "I'm sorry I'm such a fuck up".

"I was just upset that I couldn't do anything," Phil said sadly. "You were in pain and I was right there. But if I had stopped him...." Phil thought about it for a second. "I was afraid you would get in trouble, and I'd get kicked out and never get to see you again," Phil tucked his face down and his hand played with Dan's hip. "I wouldn't have left you there like that, even if I was scared and sick and uncomfortable. I couldn't walk away without knowing you'd be alright".

 

Dan didn't say anything but put his fingers under Phil's chin and tilted his head up and kissed Phil softly. 

"Thank you," He said quietly against his lips.

Phil smiled and placed another light kiss onto the younger boys lips. Then he snuggled back down to the boys chest, breathing in his warm scent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE ANOTHER CHAPTER!! This is a treat but don't expect it next week >3


	15. Don't Wanna Be Alone Tonight

 He wasn't sure how long they laid like that, a minute or an hour. But Phil yawned and felt his eyes getting heavy and hard to open. 

"Mmm, Dan, I'm sleepy. I should probably go home before I pass out here," Phil said in a groggy voice nuzzling his face up.

Dan hesitated for a second. 

"I mean, you could come to mine if you wanted...?" He tried to make it casual, hide how much of a huge deal this was but his heart was beating super fast, and Phil's ear was right there so he could probably tell. "If you want, you don't have to, it's fine if you don't want to," He rambled a little.

And Phil did hear Dan's heart beat. It was cute in a way how new Dan was to all this. Phil lifted his face and stared into Dan's eyes.

"Can I?" He said with a bit too much excitement. "I'd love that," Phil smiled and leaned forward kissing the younger boys cheek softly. "I don't wanna sleep alone," 

After seeing the person of his affection get treated like that he wanted to sleep holding him close and knowing he was safe. And being at Dan's place made it all more intimate. In one night he learned Dan's name and now  getting to go to his house.

Dan nodded, not really trusting himself to speak just yet. It was quiet for a short while before Dan got brave and said.. 

"Okay, so I usually get a driver to give me a ride home, but we can't do that with you with me.. Claire," Dan said and pulled his phone out and text Claire, it was nearly time for the bar section to close meaning Claire would be leaving soon. She said yes and Dan kissed Phil again happily.

"You're cute with your drivers and stuff," Phil smiled. "I'm just a public transit kinda guy haha," Phil kissed Dan once more before sitting up and petting down his own hair trying to make it settle after cuddling. "Will you get in trouble if they see me leave with you?" Phil asked cautiously

"Main reason we have drivers is so customers don't follow us home, it happened a few times to other people and so drivers are a way to stop that happening. I wouldn't like most of my customers to know where I live, I won't get in trouble if they see us, it will be frowned upon though. That's why Claire is giving us a ride and not an official driver," He started fixing Phil's hair for him.

Phil didn't like the idea of someone following the beautiful boy home. That thought never even came to Phil's mind. Probably cause Phil was so innocent. No one followed him home from work so why would anyone follow Dan. 

"Claire is really nice," Phil said smiling. "Come on lets go, I wanna cuddle and sleep".

Dan nodded and stood up, fixing his own hair before leading Phil out by the waist into the bar, to anyone looking it looked like Phil had just booked him and they were done. He led him to the bar to wait for Claire to finish up.

Phil rested his head slightly into Dan's shoulder before biting him slightly. He was a bit excited. It was a new level of trust. Dan was allowing Phil into his home. where no one else ever had been.

It took a little while but eventually they were able to leave, Dan was pretty sure no one saw them and he was happy Claire seemed so accepting about this. On the ride to Dan's no one talked a lot, Dan went from staring at Phil to meeting Claire's eyes in the mirror as she gave him little knowing looks. But that was okay, he knew Claire wouldn't tell anyone. They got there and Dan thanked Claire and jumped out, going around to Phil's side to open his door.

Phil hurried while Dan was out of the car and leaned forward to get Claire's attention. 

"This is a good step," she said before he could say anything. She smiled sweetly at Phil and he swallowed. 

"I'm trying," Phil said simply, his words were in response to what she had told him earlier. Save him, she didn't want Dan to be in this life, and neither did Phil. 

She nodded at him and Phil sat back waiting for Dan to open the door.

Dan opened the door and smiled at Phil, when he got out Dan felt nervous. 

"Okay um where I live isn't anything like yours so yeah, it's not all fancy and stuff," He said anxiously as they made the short trip up the elevator and to his floor. He unlocked the door and held it open for Phil letting him go in first.

Phil looked around and was happy to see how normal it looked. It was just a normal london flat. It was a bit classier then other places but not over the top like Phil's. It felt cozy. Phil moved his hand down to Dan's taking it gently. 

"Quick tour and then bed?" Phil asked nudging Dan and smiling softly at him.

Dan smiled and took Phil's hand leading him around, he liked where he lived, he spent literally all his time here when he wasn't working and so it was homely. He quickly showed him the kitchen and bathroom then the lounge, which was child like in a way but he didn't care. He had a massive amount of DVDs and games, lots of books, scattered around the room where plushies from various things, Pokemon being a stand out. He looked a little embarrassed and looked at Phil to gage his reaction so far.

 

Phil tugged on Dan's hand and brought him a bit closer. 

"I like your Pokemon," He whispered. Phil took a step closer to the video game shelf. "Can I look at your collection?" He asked, he was really curious what this boys interests were.

Dan laughed. 

"Yeah sure," walking a little behind Phil still holding his hand but placing little kisses on Phil's neck, he just felt like being affectionate.

Phil smiled, he liked how much Dan had warmed up to him. Going from no contact unless it was paid sex, to now he was at the younger boys flat and getting small kisses while he looked through his game collection. Phil's eyes scanned over the collection. Nodding at the nerdy ones like _Sonic_ and _Crash Bandicoot_ , some _Spyro_ , and all the _Final Fantasy's_. he was surprised he had both X and X-2. Noting _Skyrim_ and _Fable 2_. Phil's eyes continued and he saw the _Silent Hill_ games. 

"I love this game," Phil said pulling out Silent hill 2. "But i swear I'm the biggest baby when it comes to scary games," he laughed softly and looked back to meet Dans eyes.

"Aww" Dan cooed and added. "It would be fun to play games with other people," and leaned his head against Phil's shoulder. "Is this okay? Am I being to close? I just, I feel happy right now," he said a little nervously.

"Hmm? You're just fine," Phil said moving his hand over to pet Dan's hair. "I like when you're happy," Phil turned his head and gave Dan a small kiss. "I'm really happy too," he said softly. 

He was happy that Dan felt comfortable enough with him. It was always a hit or miss, if Phil said the right thing or the wrong thing, some things would be ok, somethings wouldn't. But right now things seemed ok.

"Do you want a tea or coffee or anything?" Dan said before kissing Phil again, he just wanted to kiss him all the time, something he wouldn't quite admit out loud but his actions made it obvious.

Phil smiled kissing him again. 

"Can I have you in bed for cuddles?" He asked pressing his lips again to the younger boys. 

He wanted to take time and explore Dan's house, but he hoped there would be another time for that. He truly was tired from the night and thought Dan would be too.

 

 

Dan nodded but didn't break the kiss yet, after a few seconds he pulled back and smiled, taking Phil's hand and leading him to his room. 

"My room," he said using his hands to point at various objects before sitting down on his bed. "Do you need pajamas? I probably have some somewhere, I never wear them, I can wear some tonight if you want me to cause I sleep in boxers and that might make you feel uncomfortable... and I am rambling?" Dan stopped himself and pulled a face looking up at Phil. "I have never had anyone at my place before, ever".

Phil shook his head and stepped over to Dan on the bed resting his arms over the younger boys shoulders. 

"I know. Thank you for letting me in," Phil said gently and gazed down lovingly at the beautiful boy. "You can sleep in your boxers if I can," Phil said with a small smirk on his face

Dan returned the little smirk.

"Deal" he said meeting Phil's eyes, he wanted to kiss him again but felt like he was kissing him to much, he couldn't help his eyes flicking down to his mouth though.

Phil gazed over Dans face and watched how his eyes continued to look at his mouth. 

"Do you want kisses?" Phil asked cutely leaning down closer to Dan's face so he could take them if he wanted.

Dan nodded and reconnected their lips again, making a soft contended noise as he did so then pulled back a little to say... 

"Just so you know, you have seriously perfect lips," he giggled a little before kissing them again to prove his point.

Phil smiled. Dan was so cute sometimes. 

"I like yours too," Phil said smiling and pressing his lips against the younger boys again. 

He put his knees up on the bed and straddled Dan's hips. Phil started tugging up the other boys shirt. 

"I wanna go to sleep," Phil said not pulling away his lips.

"Me too," Dan said without moving away from Phil's lips. 

After a short while he did, sighing.

"Come on then," He started pulling his clothes off, feeling a little self conscious as when he was only in boxers the marks on his hips looked a lot worse. He stood up and hit the main light, leaving a bed side lamp on as he sneaked little glances at Phil getting changed.

Phil undressed, it wasn't like the other hadn't seen him naked before, so being in his boxers shouldn't be a big deal. But Phil felt a bit more open somehow. 

"Which side of the bed do you sleep on?" Phil asked looking back at Dan and frowning when he saw his hips.

"Right side" Dan said getting in, mainly to hide the bruises while he waited for Phil.

Phil nodded and crawled in next to Dan scooting closer to him. 

"Can I cuddle with you?" He asked softly.

Dan didn't answer he just scooted closer and cuddled against his chest, feeling his body instantly start to relax as he felt safer with Phil here than he ever did alone 

"Thank you," He said quietly.

Phil nodded silently. Moving his arms around the younger boy to protect him more. They were nearly the same height, Dan was just quite a bit thinner. But when he curled up like this against Phil he seemed even smaller. And that made Phil feel even more protective.

Dan relaxed against him more, he felt himself drifting off already. He had had a rough night, and it was taking its toll on how long he could stay awake for.

Phil felt Dan's body relaxing more and he began to pet his hair soothingly. 

"Go to sleep, you're safe," Phil nuzzled his face into the top of Dan's head and breathed in. He was being pulled under consciousness too.

 

Dan woke up a few times during the night, it was confusing to have someone in his bed but soon after he remembered everything, snuggled in closer and fell asleep again. He was starting to understand why cuddles and hugs where so highly rated.

Phil on the other hand slept through the whole night, he slept better tonight then he had on another night where he had left Dan to go to his own home alone.

He woke up, unsure of what time it was, he lifted his head a little to look around, but the curtains were closed and there wasn't a clock on the beside table. It wasn't like Phil had anywhere to go. No job through out the week, no pet back home waiting to be fed. This was all he had right now. He laid his head back down and gazed upon the sleeping boys face. He looked so innocent when he was asleep. So delicate and beautiful. Phil slowly moved his hand up to push Dan's hair out of his face and run his hand through his hair. He would gladly stay looking at his face forever, he was in no rush for the younger boy to wake up

Dan felt Phil run his hand through his hair but it wasn't enough to wake him, he made a face because it was to early to be awake and snuggled closer to Phil. 

"Sleep time," he mumbled.

Phil made a small laugh as the younger boy snuggled closer. He nuzzled his face against Dan's hair. 

"You keep sleeping," Phil said softly relaxing against Dan and closing his eyes. 

If the beautiful boy was asleep he was safe, he wasn't out in the horrible world. He was asleep in his bed in the arms of a boy who loved him. And Phil was in no rush to disrupt him from that. Dan half nodded and yawned once before he slipped back under again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are unaware, I have made a twitter for you lovely readers to follow, it is @phantasticfic please follow for secret updates to let you know the exact time im uploading, and other tid bits, like what the heck a sensation knife is


	16. Every Saint Has a Past

 Dan woke up quite a bit later and saw Phil sleeping, he smiled and started placing little kisses on his neck trying to wake him up. He wanted to spend some time with him before he had to go to work tonight.

"Wake uuuuup," He said quietly as the kisses continued along Phil's jaw now.

Phil whined slightly in his sleep. Then realizing Dan was getting his attention through kisses he smiled and tightened his arms around the younger boy.

"No, I'm not ready," Phil said and tilted his face down and peaked an eye open,  "Good morning," he said in a groggy voice.

His eyes sore from sleeping in his contacts.

Dan giggled and added more kisses, when Phil's eyes opened, Dan pouted.

"Phil, your eyes are all red what happened?" He started playing with Phil's hair while he waited for a response.

Phil smiled.

"I just forgot to remove my contacts," he said softly. It probably looked like he was crying and he didn't want to worry Dan. "I'm fine, I'll just wear my glasses for a couple days to let my eyes rest".

"You wear glasses?" Dan grinned. "That's cute. You would so suit glasses, I wanna see you in glasses sometime," Dan smiled. "Did you sleep okay apart from the contact issue?"

Phil laughed.

"Maybe sometime I'll wear them, I don't like wearing glasses, they are an inconvenience," He said and started stretching his legs a little bit. "I slept great, I like this, us staying the night together, it's nice having someone to cuddle with," he said and played with Dan's hair.

"I do too, it's nice. New. But nice. It feels much nicer to hear and see someone else beside you when you wake up at night... But I bet I look awful now and I want to fix that before you run away," He laughed and sat up, still close to Phil though.

Phil wrapped his arms around the younger boys waist.

"I sleep better next to you too," Phil said in a mumble, he didn't want the boy to go away just yet. "I think you look beautiful," He pulled at Dan's waist, wanting to being him back down to him.

 

 

Dan lay back down and smiled taking the hint that Phil still wanted him close, which made Dan happy.

"Beautiful is a little far fetched don't you think?" He got himself as close to Phil as he could, kissing his cheek lightly.

Phil smiled and turned his face to catch Dan's lips.

"Mmm definitely not," he said kissing him again. "You're so beautiful," Phil smiled and pulled away gazing over the younger boys face. "I won't hold you up if you wanna go make yourself pretty," he said pressing his forehead against Dan's.

Dan sat up again but pulled Phil with him and wrapped his arms around his middle, running his hands over Phil's sides just appreciating that he was there.

"How about... breakfast" Dan said as kissed along his cheek. "Do you wanna eat here? or go out? I don't mind."

He wanted to thank Phil somehow for being so perfect, for being there for him and not making him sleep alone last night.

Phil leaned a bit closer to Dan. He was happy that both options involved them staying together. And the fact that Dan had suggested that they could go out together was pleasing to him to hear. However he wanted to stay in.

"Let's stay here," he said a smile still on his face. This was even better then last time they had spent the night together. Dan didn't run away at the first sign of day and didn't kick him out.

Dan nodded and kissed him again.

"What do you feel like?" This was all knew to Dan but it wasn't scaring him right now, it was good and exciting and fun. "You have really cute sleepy hair by the way," he added smiling a little.

"You have really cute dimples when you smile," Phil said nuzzling Dan's neck. "Make what ever you know how to make I won't be picky. Just nothing with a lot of cheese," he noted the weird look from Dan " I don't like cheese".

"How can you not like cheese?" Dan laughed "Okay, eggs?" He didn't really want to move though so he rolled over and basically rolled onto Phil and started kissing over his neck.

Phil laughed, he usually got that response when he told people that.

"Eggs are nice yes," he said putting a hand in Dan's hair and making a small contented sound as the younger boy kissed his neck.

Dan kissed up Phil's jaw.

"Is it okay I'm kissing you and stuff? I can go brush my teeth if you want?" Dan didn't know how this stuff worked.

He felt confused as well because right now he _wanted_ Phil. But Dan didn't just want people, sex was a job, he did it when asked and yeah, with Phil he enjoyed it. But having Phil stay the night then to want him like this, was very different to when Phil booked him for sex.

"You're just fine, this is nice," Phil said tilting his face to catch Dan's lips.

He liked Dan like this, just going with how he felt and what he wanted. The younger boy seemed to have opened up so much since they first started talking. Dan kept kissing him, and it became kind of heated, Dan wasn't really thinking and was just going with his wants in the moment, he bit at Phil's lip a little and his hands ran over Phil's chest. Phil made a soft noise of pleasure as the younger boy touched his chest. His hand ran down Dan's lower back moving over his butt as he pulled him closer. Phil couldn't help but deepen the kiss, so easily taken with the younger boy.

This carried on for a little while, the kiss getting progressively more needy from Dan's part until he rolled his hips down lightly and made a soft noise, he broke the kiss for air and then it dawned on him, he was doing this because _he_ wanted to, not because Phil asked him. Sex was work, not this, not just, being next to someone and wanting them and then acting on it. He pulled back away from the kiss a bit more and blushed deeply, aware that he was already semi hard and obviously into this.

"I'm s-sorry," He mumbled looking at Phil apologetically.

Phil blushed, he didn't want it to stop, he was enjoying it as much as Dan was.

"It's alright," Phil said moving his hand up to play in Dan's hair.

He had a feeling why Dan pulled away. Sex wasn't like this, he wasn't supposed to just want to be with someone. Even though that was what Phil was trying to prove to Dan.

"I just.. got kind of carried away, but you didn't ask for it, I'm overstepping I'm sorry," Dan said blushing deeper and averting his eyes, feeling kind of vulnerable again now.

Phil looked at Dan a bit concerned. He didn't like that the other was apologizing. "But I was asking, not out loud, but the way I pulled you closer that was me asking." Phil caressed Dan gently trying to relax and comfort him, he looked scared again.

 

Dan rolled his hips a tiny bit, letting out a small noise as he did so. He was still blushing, wanting someone like this was so new to him still.

"It's just, new," He said quietly running his hands over Phil's body and looking at how perfect he was. "I am not used to being allowed to have what I want, I'm not used to wanting really".

Phil couldn't help but roll his hips back slightly to meet the other boys.

"If you're scared it's alright, you don't have to do anything that scares you," Phil took Dan's hand gently in his and gave it a light squeeze. "Things driven by want are exciting. You never know exactly where things will go next but thats ok cause....." Phil didn't know how he was going to end that sentence it just started happening. "You want the other person," Phil said softly starring deeply into the younger boys eyes.

Dan got that, he understood but that was for other people, not people who made money from sex, not people who were in that industry, it was separate for people like him.

"I kind of get it," Dan said squeezing Phil's hand and leaning down and kissing him softly, he felt bad, he initiated this and now was stopping, but he thought Phil would understand. "Come with me and keep me company while I make food," Dan said sitting up and getting out of bed, dragging Phil by his hand.

Phil nodded, holding tighter to Dan's hand. He adjusted himself slightly in his boxers. He had gotten a little hard during that, but not that bad. Phil understood why Dan had to stop. Phil reminded himself that he had to pay Dan before he left. But for now Phil stepped closer and kissed the back of Dan's neck. The way they were right now. Holding hands, walking to the kitchen to make breakfast in their underwear. It felt like a normal couple.

Dan got to the kitchen and started pulling ingredients out of cupboards, smiling at Phil every now and again.

"Coffee? Tea?" He asked. He loved having Phil here, it felt really nice sharing his morning with someone.

"Coffee would be nice please," Phil said stepping over to Dan and wrapping his arms around his waist.

This was the longest amount of time he's ever gotten to spend with the younger boy and he was cherishing every minute of it. He stepped back to allow Dan to move around his space as needed.

"How do you like your coffee?" Dan said as he started to make the eggs. 'Thank you, by the way, for staying. It was really nice of you," He met Phil's eyes and then went back to sorting out breakfast.

"Mmm, cream and three sugar" Phil said smiling, he knew he liked his coffee a lot sweeter then most people but he wasn't embarrassed by it in the slightest. "I'll stay with you any night. Even if you just want someone there and don't want me to touch you. I literally only work on sunday night till nine, so yeah. you know how to get ahold of me," Phil looked at the ground. Suggesting that was suggesting they meet up outside of business. But isn't that what this was now anyway.

Dan blushed a little, he liked how keen Phil was to see him, even outside of work, Dan didn't know what this qualified as, he had spent the night with Phil and they hadn't slept together, was this work? Not really, Phil was only paying him so that he didn't need to sleep with so many people this week because of his bruises.

"How do you have so much money?" Dan blurted before blushing and adding. "I just mean cause you work one day a week but you seem really well off," He finished making their coffees and their food and placed them on the table and motioned for Phil to come over, genuinely curious what his answer would be.

Phil followed over to Dan and sighed slightly. Now it was his time to spill some of his history.

"Well....I have an inheritance from my parents," Phil said a bit vaguely. He always questioned Dan so much but now on the other side he felt a bit exposed.

It was something he had talked about before, and something he has worked past over the years. But talking about it never got easy.

"They owned a big company, and my father gave me the company, but it wasn't what I wanted to do with my life. So I sold it, and here I am." he said a bit quickly avoiding one big detail still, it didn't seem right to just throw that at the younger boy right now.

Dan kept his eyes on Phil as he spoke, as he worked through what he was saying in his mind, people don't usually get inheritances from people unless they aren't here anymore. He swallowed.

"Um, so by inheritance..." He trailed off looking at Phil with concern and also scared he was going to upset him.

Phil smiled brightly trying his best to hide it.

"Hey I'm fine don't you go getting upset," Phil glanced away. "I've adjusted"

Dan's eyes where full of emotion as he looked at Phil.

"But you shouldn't have had to, I'm sorry Phil," Dan didn't push, he didn't ask for any more information but he hated that this perfect person had to deal with the loss of his parents.

Phil had never seen so much emotion in Dans eyes before. He smiled a bit more naturally.

"I'm alright," he said nodding and lifting up his coffee, it was perfect, the overly sweetened liquid felt nice. "I was 19," Phil added, it wasn't that long ago, and no mater how much time it would always be difficult to talk about. But Phil told Dan so that he knew it wasn't like it happened just before he met Dan.

Dan nodded

"Still, things like that don't just stop hurting. If you ever need someone to talk to, you can talk to me." Dan leaned over and squeezed Phil's hand before letting the topic go and sipping his coffee.

Phil smiled, it was so weird Dan offering for him to talk to when Dan had been so closed off when they first met, but it felt good. He felt closer to him.

"Thank you Dan," Phil said and started eating smiling to himself.

Dan smiled softly, he didn't really know what was worse. Having parent’s that cared, but that died. Or having no one at all. He ate his food in silence, but it was comfortable, just enjoying Phil's presence or the occasional bit of eye contact.

Phil finished eating and picked up his coffee taking another drink from it.

"Thank you for making me breakfast," Phil said still smiling gently

Dan just smiled at Phil and took another sip of his coffee.

"Wanna know a secret? I have three sugars in my coffee too, I don't like to tell people cause I think they will think I am silly and young," Dan laughed a little and kept sipping his coffee.

Phil had a silly smile his tongue poking out a little. Usually he was the one told he was young.

"I guess I'm silly and young too," Phil said laughing a little and bumping Dan's foot under the table.

He met Dan's eyes and glanced away slightly before meeting them again.

"Remind me to pay you before I leave today but uh...until then, wanna like watch a movie or something I don't know, video games, I think you're fun to be around"

Dan blushed, a combo of Phil nudging him, Phil talking about money and the comment about him being fun to be around. He nodded and stood up, pulling Phil up by his hands.

"Okay, I would like to play video games with you, that sounds fun, but you need to pick it okay?" Dan walked with Phil over to his games again, not caring that they were hardly dressed. He felt relaxed enough with Phil to not care.

"Sure," Phil said walking into the lounge with Dan right beside him. Phil stepped over to the video games and started looking through them. Suddenly a bit more aware that he was in his underwear still. "Oh, um, do you want to get dressed or is this fine? I'm comfortable..." Phil said looking back at Dan.

Dan grinned.

"I'm fine like this, unless you want me to go get dressed?" He was still aware of his bruising, and wondered whether Phil didn't want them exposed. Maybe he saw it as gross and dirty. Dan's hands naturally went to his hips as he had his thought and he looked away.

Phil saw Dan's hands move to hide the bruises.

"It wasn't you I wanted to cover up," Phil laughed slightly. "I didn't know if you were tired of seeing me walk around," He smiled at Dan and turned back to the games flipping through them, he saw Silent Hill 2. "I wanna play Silent Hill sometime, but maybe next time I stay over. It's better in the dark," Phil said absent mindedly unintentionally stating that there would be a next time.

Dan smiled at Phil's little assumption, secretly loving that Phil wanted there to be a next time.

"Okay deal, so what are we playing this time?" Dan said pulling a blanket off the back of the couch down and snuggling into it as he waited.

Phil pulled out a box.

"Oh I love Portal 2, this one, we can take turns on the puzzles or you can just play I don't mind watching." Phil said hopping over to Dan and sitting down next to him to hand him the disk. "I don't know how your system sets up," he said a bit shyly feeling a bit bad that Dan had to get up again.

Dan smiled and got up, dragging his blanket with him and set the game up.

"You go first." Dan said handing him the controller and sitting back down pulling Phil next to him.

 

Phil relaxed into Dan.

"Giving me the tutorial level," Phil said smiling at Dan, he leaned over to place a quick kiss to his cheek.

The game turned on and the two of them sat through the opening till Phil made it to the first white room with one portal gun. He solved the puzzle in seconds, the first levels always flew by.

"Your move," Phil said  handing Dan the controller

Dan smiled and took the controller, getting through the level fairly quickly and without any mishaps as he had played this game a little to much, he smirked and handed it back to Phil without a word, but a challenge in his expression.

They went back and forth quickly getting through the levels without a problem till suddenly they got to the harder stuff. Phil roamed around the room for a few minutes in the game.

"I don't know what to do, there's nothing." Phil pouted and continued trying to shoot the gun at the platform the door was near.

Dan grinned.

"Does Phil need some help?" Dan said leaning against Phil and giggling a little, feeling a little content in the fact that he knew this part. "There was a launch pad on the ground level that you can use," He said looking at Phil and not the game.

Phil laughed a little poking his tongue out as he had the character step to the edge of the platform she was on.

"Ah I see it," he said and jumped down.

The platform launching him into the wall.

"AHH," Phil squeaked, and shot a couple portals to get himself back up to the higher ground. He shot a portal at the space he hit and one higher up. When he jumped down it launched him to the other side of the room to the door.

"Yay," Phil said dancing slightly. "Thank you, I'd have been there forever, I swear I get stuck there every time and never remember to look at the launch pad"

"I think that just proves that play games to often," Dan said smiling, he liked this, just doing something simple like playing a game with Phil. It was really... Nice.

 "It's all I do with my time too, and internet, I have so much time throughout the week," Phil turned to look at Dan as he handed the controller back. Licking his lips slightly as he looked at the beautiful younger boy for a second.

"I have all week off too, apart from from four on Thursday, Friday and Saturday I need to prepare for work and stuff, some Tuesdays, but most of the week I'm just here doing this," he smiled and met Phil's eyes for a second.

"I could keep you company, ya know... any day of the week just come over and hang out, play video games, watch movies. Interact with other humans. I don't get enough human interaction," Phil said laughing a little at the end.

Dan's face got a little serious looking and he smiled a little sadly, Phil made it sound so easy, to just, be normal.

"That sounds fun, maybe," he said. He wanted to, but he knew sooner rather than later that offer would be revoked as Phil would grow tired of him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last week a couple people were complaining about it being too fluffy and repetitive right now. Appreciate it. Cause right now you know they are safe and comfortable. Soon you wont have that security, and every week you will be dyeing to know if they are ok in the next chapter. Something is coming. As you all should know come what may is finished it's just going through it's second edit and being broken up into chapters. so that is why i update it weekly to give me time to edit the next chapter. But that means everything is already planned and already in motion and nothing it going to stop or change what is going to happen to them. You have been warned.
> 
> (come what may still has a happy ending it just takes some time to get there)


	17. Every Sinner Has a Future

 Phil smiled and put an arm over Dan's shoulders. 

"If you want; there is no rush," Phil said gently, realizing that he was jumping to things again. He had to take it one step at a time, so he wouldn’tscare the younger boy away.

"No it's not, it's just, I'm waiting for you to get bored of me," Dan said quietly.

Phil leaned his face a bit closer to Dan's. 

"You're gonna be waiting a long time then," he said kissing Dan's cheek again. "I don't think that's going to happen.”

"We'll see," Dan said, but he leaned into the touch. "You're too good to spend time with me."

"If I wasn't with you I'd just be alone, I don't go out much," Phil said laying his head against Dan's arm, "Do you think you will ever get bored of me? I'm not that attractive, and I just sit on my computer most of the week."

Dan's head shot up.

"You're stunning, you're the prettiest most perfect person I've ever met," Dan said quickly, ignoring the fact that he himself was blushing. Phil was perfect and he couldn't have Phil thinking otherwise. "Seriously, you are, you are just perfect"

Phil smiled and wrapped his arms around Dan dropping the controller to the floor. He pushed Dan down to the couch and nuzzled against him. 

"Mmm I just want to keep you, no one ever talks about me that way," he laughed a bit and laid on his side against the back of the couch, grateful for Dan's couch being so big. "I know I've told you a ton, but you are super beautiful too.”

 

"Why don't people talk about you that way? They all should, everyone should cause you're perfect and perfect people deserve to feel perfect," Dan said cuddling against him. "I want you to keep me," Dan muttered in a much quieter voice as an afterthought.

Phil being as close as he was heard the small whisper but wasn't sure if he could comment on it or not. 

"Nah, I'm just Phil, perfectly adequate Phil," Phil moved his hand up to move Dan's hair aside. "You're perfect though, troubled, but a perfect human."

"If I was perfect I wouldn't do what I do, I would still have people around to look after me a bit, and I would have parents to go spend Christmas with, but instead I'm just a failure who lets everyone down," Dan ranted then stopped suddenly. "I-I'm sorry," realizing what he had said about family and so cuddling closer into Phil. "That was really insensitive I'm sorry".

Phil wrapped his arms around the younger boy, Christmas did hurt. That was his favorite holiday, always had been, he loved his family and loved seeing them on Christmas but now they were gone. For the past four years he'd been alone. He could visit other family members but didn't want to impose on anyone else's holiday, and it just made him feel more alone anyway. 

"That hurt," Phil said holding tightly onto Dan not wanting him to move away. 

He wanted to offer comfort back to Dan but his thoughts kept dwelling on Christmas now. He felt himself start to cry but didn't make a sound.

"Fuck. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I just, I didn't think," 

Phil was to quiet and Dan figured he was either crying or on the verge of doing so. 

"I'm so sorry," Dan said again. He didn't mean for that to happen, it's just when he was younger he loved Christmas, it was such a family time and now he had no one, it was just a reminder of how much he had failed. He didn't verbalize this because he didn't want to upset Phil any further. “I'm a jerk I'm sorry baby." the pet named flowed naturally as he played with Phil's hair trying to calm him down a little.

Phil gave a small choked laugh. 

"You're not a jerk I know what you meant, I'm alone too. That's why I'm not going to abandon you," Phil said tilting his face down to kiss Dan's head before scooting down to look at him and meet his eyes, his own still damp with tears. "My family was taken from me, why did you leave yours?" Phil asked his voice still a bit higher from being upset.

Dan bit his lip and shook his head. 

"It's not fair to talk about it, you had no control over losing yours and I am so sorry, mine's different, I wasn't what they wanted and so it's my fault, It's my fault all the bad stuff happened." His voice shook a little, it upset Dan to talk about it, cause it wasn't that long ago and it still stung.

"Shh it's alright," Phil said moving his hands up to Dan's hair and leaning in to kiss his forehead. "You're what I want though, let me know what happened. It's alright I'm right here, I've got you," Phil was doing what made him feel best, taking care of someone else. 

But he knew it wasn't long ago for Dan so talking would be hard still, he wouldn't press him too hard for what happened.

 

 

Dan looked down but started talking. 

"Well I'm gay aren't I? And that's all bad and stuff if you're in my family, and they didn't know, I kept it quiet, I never told anyone. I was sixteen and knew 100% that I was gay and still hadn't told anyone, until my friend directly asked me. I don't even know why he did, but he asked me and I thought I could trust him so I told him, and  thought that would be okay till he called me a faggot and ran off. So that sucked," Dan stopped and took a deep breath, glancing at Phil for reassurance. "I could take the bullying that came after that, it was fine, even when people at school hit me, cause I knew it wasn't forever. But my friend was cruel and he went to my house when I wasn't home and he um, he told my D-dad,"  Dan was tense at this point, really tense and he stopped talking, needing some kind of comfort. "I've never talked about this," He muttered.

Phil pet Dan's head, this was hard to hear cause it was so opposite of his experience. 

"It's okay, take your time. I'm right here," he said in a soothing voice. "You're safe now."

Dan nodded and tightened his grip around Phil, taking a deep breath. 

"I got home and he started yelling at me and calling me all sorts, including telling me I am no longer his son, that I am corrupted and bad and there is no place for me with my family any more. I cried and he just yelled at me and t-then he hit me, and he wouldn't stop a-and my Mum was just crying but she didn't help. He really hurt me, it was bad. He broke two of my ribs. I just, it was so awful. But I didn't leave yet, even though no one talked to me at home or at school and I was lonely, it was bearable. Until my Dad saw me walking with a guy after school. It was nothing, he was just walking next to me, we didn't even talk. I didn't like him or anything but it happened again, worse than the first time. So I left. I just waited till I had healed a little and then just walked out, I stole money from them and just hopped on a train and a few days later ended up here, cold and not a lot of money in my pockets. I walked past the bar and the Boss was outside, he told me I was pretty and could make some good money, and when he found out that I was a virgin I could almost see the dollar signs behind his eyes..." Dan swallowed hard and wiped his eyes curling up against Phil a bit more.

Phil's heart clenched, it was worse than he ever imagined it would be. "I'm so sorry Dan," Phil said crying too, it was the worst. No one should be treated like that by their own family to be pushed to that level. 

"I-I," Phil stammered trying to think what he wanted to say. "I love you though, and I mean all of you, not just for being pretty, but your personality too. I think I would have loved Dan before this too," Phil hoped he wasn't making it worse.

Dan was crying silently and he looked up at Phil. 

"B-but it's my fault, I should have just not been gay and made myself what they wanted. I wish I had met you before all of this, I might have stayed a little bit saner with someone like you around," Dan said quietly.

Phil clung tightly to him. 

"It's not your fault, it's who you are and no one deserves to be treated that way for something that is a part of them." Phil said softly. 

It made sense why Dan would choose the club over going home. He got hurt three nights a week, but nothing was ever broken, and at least when he got home it was over. 

"I wish I knew you too, I would have kept you safe, you could have run away to me, no one would have ever hurt you with me."

"But who I am made my Dad hate me," Dan muttered. "I so wish you were around then, I needed someone like you, to stop me from doing what I did," He cuddled close and kissed Phil's cheek. "Thank you for being here now though, you make something happy exist in my life.”

Phil ran his hand through the younger boy’s hair and brought him closer.  

"I want you to be happy all the time," he said tears still in his eyes. "You never did anything wrong, bad things just happened to you, you deserve to be happy." Phil placed kissed on the younger boy’s face trying to calm himself down too, the situation was just too cruel to have happened to such a nice person.

"I keep making you cry I'm sorry," Dan said on the verge of tears himself, running his hand up and down Phil's back trying to calm Phil down again. "I'm used to it so it's okay; I've just accepted it you know? Some people have easy lives, some people don't, and this is just what I get.”

"But you shouldn't have to, okay, cause you're beautiful and kind and funny," Phil looked at Dan and blinked trying to get his eyes to stop, "I'm sorry I'm crying but it's just not right, you don't have to do this. You can get a different job can’t you?" Phil's voice shook suddenly as he tried to clear his head to focus to make sure he didn't say anything out of line.

"No one would want me to work for them, I left school at sixteen before my exams, I have literally no qualifications and no work experience apart from being a hooker," Dan said and sighed. "So not really, no."

Phil sighed gently; he just wanted to give Dan a better life. 

“I see," Phil said and nuzzled against Dan's neck. His breathing got softer as he calmed down. He had ideas of what he could do but he didn't want to take away Dan's freedom, they weren't even in a relationship...were they?   
"Hey Dan?" Phil said softly against the younger boy's skin

"Mhm?" Dan hummed quietly, he hadn't relaxed his grip on Phil, talking about all of this hurt and it felt like his hold on Phil was the only thing keeping him above water right now.

Phil froze slightly, nervous. 

"What… What are we? Like...." Phil got more nervous and his voice started to shake. "Wh-what am I?" he knew the sex was business, he would continue to pay Dan each time they made that transaction, but there was more to a relationship than sex, there was the emotions and feelings for the other person. And that was what Phil felt toward Dan.

Dan froze and tensed up, he knew that was coming, of course it was. Dan wanted to say what he felt, that Phil was everything to Dan and he wanted to be with Phil all the time and he made him feel safe and happy. But he was scared, scared that Phil didn't really want him, maybe Phil felt sorry for him and that's why he hung around.

 

"U-um.. I um... I'm not good at defining things," Dan said then swallowed. "You mean more to me than anyone else in the world," he paused again. "You're perfect, that is what you are. And you deserve better than a wh-whore to hang around with, you deserve someone who can give you what you need, and look after you, not a loser like me," Dan moved his face and met Phil's eyes. "I am so scared, cause one day soon you are going to realize that, a-and then I am never going to see you again."

Dan closed his eyes for a second and then continued. 

"I'm letting you in, and it's scary, I've never done this... But I don't wanna hurt you, I don't wanna break you, in the end you will walk away empty handed cause I don't have anything to give you. I wish I did," Dan opened his eyes "It's not fair."

Phil had expected something along that line of a reaction. 

"Hey shhh it's ok," Phil whispered. That was a lot, he didn't get why it was so difficult for the younger boy to accept that someone wanted to be with him, even if he had never known otherwise, the idea of someone loving you must sound comforting. 

"I don't want to leave you, stop telling me what I'm going to do. You don't know what will happen, and honestly neither do I, but that's what being in love with someone is like, you never know what’s going to happen but you're happy right then and you trust the other person." his voice was quick but not loud or harsh. And quickly he leaned in to kiss the younger boy for a moment before pulling away. "You don't have to be with me if you don't want to, but don't let fear stop you from taking what you want."

"I do want it, I do. It's just, love is… love is scary cause I loved my family and look what happened there. Love is weak in a way because love opens you up to get hurt, and what if you end up like him, you know? I can't help my mind from jumping there," He kissed Phil as soon as he finished talking, not wanting him to run off now and maybe if he kissed him he would stay a bit longer. "I'm sorry my head is so screwed up," he muttered.

Phil kissed him back, trying to pour his feelings into the younger boy.

"It's alright I'm not going anywhere," he didn't like that Dan was thinking he would turn out like the other boy's father, Phil would never hit Dan or hate him for who he is. "Love is a splendid thing though, love lifts us up," he pressed his lips harder into Dan's, "and I love you."

Dan smiled and nuzzled against Phil's neck. 

"All you need is love..." he said still smiling, the fact that Phil just quoted Moulin Rouge didn't go over his head, and the fact that it was one of Dan's favorite films and it seemed like Phil remembered this from one of their first conversations made Dan feel happy. 

His life in this moment seemed to draw parallels to that film, he had always admired Satine though, she had a certain strength to her that Dan didn't see himself possessing. Although he did hope that he didn't die in the end. 

"I hope I don't die at the end of this," Dan said and giggled a little, pressing a kiss to Phil's neck.

Phil smiled, the air seeming a bit less thick now. "You don't have consumption do you?" Phil asked with a small laugh as he tilted his neck up for Dan while still petting his hair.

"Na-uh," Dan said and kissed Phil's neck again with a small giggle. "I swear I could just stay like this forever with you," Dan said and sighed as he settled more against Phil.

Phil liked the sound of Dan's laugh. He smiled and turned his face to look at Dan more. 

"I'd like that too. You're so warm and soft," Phil said smiling and keeping his arms tight around the younger boy. "I like being with you, it makes me feel like someone actually needs me in their life." Phil said softly hoping it came across right.

Dan smiled a smaller, shyer smile. 

"You like to feel needed?" He propped himself up and moved a little so he was leaning on Phil's chest and sitting up enough to see him properly.

Phil gave a small nod. 

"It's nice. To everyone else, I just exist, I'm around, they like me, sure, but I'm not valuable in their lives," he looked up at Dan and moved his hand to rest on Dan's waist.

"You should be valuable in everyone's life, just knowing you has made my life better," Dan said and shrugged. "You're that person, you know? The one that just makes people around them happy, see the good in life. I bet you affect other people that way too," Dan smiled and met Phil's eyes. He liked complimenting Phil, he deserved to hear how lovely he was.

Phil smiled brighter at Dan. 

"It seems like only you think that way," he liked hearing this though, it made his heart flutter. "You're so cute," Phil said leaning his face up to kiss Dan lightly.

"I am not," Dan said quietly but kissed back, keeping the kiss soft. Dan reached behind him and grabbed the blanket pulling it over both of them. "We are a cocoon," he said with a serious face before laughing and pecking Phil's lips again, the mood being a lot more relaxed than it previously had been.

Phil laughed and let his eyes close as he relaxed into the couch. 

"I've really liked my time with you. You make me smile," he petted Dan's hair.

Dan smiled.

"You make me smile too. I am not moving right now though you are too comfortable".

"Good, I don't want you to," Phil said pulling Dan close to rest the younger boys head on his chest. They laid like that for a while, taking in each other's presence and letting the game's background music fill the room. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I know lately my editing has gotton worse and worse, and that is mainly due to increased stress from school where i'm trying to cram 30 mins to edit a whole chapter. And my dyslexia which causes me to sometimes auto-correct what i expect to be there. (example if it says knew instead of new I will just see it as new cause that is what i know should be there)  
> However hopefully in the future this will be better, I got an editor, 2 actually in case one is unavailable, or if they have time to run through both.   
> and i hope soon they will be able to go over past chapters and clean those up for me.
> 
> btw bonus chapter, for the phanaversery (the day dan and phil first met in person)


	18. Paratus & Otium

"What time is it?" Dan asked lazily, still not wanting to move, but knowing it was probably time for him to start getting prepared to work since it usually took a while.

"Hmmm, I don't know, my phones in my pants," Phil said not making any effort to move. "You gotta get ready soon?" Phil asked a bit sadly. Once he left he knew he would have to wait another week to see him. And on that same day he would have to share him with another man.

"Yeah," Dan said sighing. "You can stay a bit but I need to run off and yeah, get ready"  He blushed because getting ready required some stuff that most people don't have to do before going to work. 

"Get ready?" Phil said questioningly, trying to think what Dan would have to do for work.  
“Yeah I need to… um shower and stuff..." Dan blushed a little deeper and sat up.  
"Whatever you need to do," Phil said smiling softly, sitting up with Dan and kissing the top of Dan’s head. He didn't want him to go back, but he had to.

"You play the game yeah? I will be as quick as I can," Dan said as he kissed Phil's cheek before standing up and heading to the bathroom hoping Phil didn't notice his blush.

Phil watched Dan go a bit sadly. It wouldn't have been so bad letting Dan go to work if it was a normal job, but jealousy was starting to weigh in on Phil. He knew Dan would be sleeping with another man tonight, if not more. There was no doubt about that. But Phil couldn't stop him from doing it. 

"Sure," Phil said quietly even though Dan was long gone. 

He picked up the controller mindlessly playing through a couple more levels till he heard the shower turn off. He perked up like a puppy, excited to see Dan again even though it had been less than 30 minutes since he had seen him last.

Dan finished his shower and went straight into his room, wanting to get everything done quickly. He started his process of getting ready with stretching, as some guys were really rough and hardly anyone stretched him. He did this beforehand to prevent too much pain and tearing that would put him out of work for a while. He grabbed his lube and positioned himself on his bed, draping the towel over his shoulders as he started to stretch himself, small noises passing his lips because, of course, it felt good. He was trying his best to be quick, so he didn't spend as much time as he normally would before adding another finger and moving deeper, cheeks flushing lightly at the idea of Phil being in the lounge while he was doing this.

Phil heard Dan move to his bedroom and pouted slightly. He sighed and suddenly became aware of the fact that he was still in his underwear. He decided that it was a good time to get dresses, so he stood up and made his way toward the room. The door was cracked slightly and he paused for a moment when he heard a small moan escape the room.

"Dan?" Phil asked pushing the door open.

Dan heard Phil say his name and let out a yelp as his door opened. He blushed deep red and stopped his actions, pulling the towel over himself even though he knew Phil had already seen what he was doing. 

"Fuck, um I um, I um, for work and like, so I don't get hurt," he stuttered out looking anywhere but at Phil's face as he felt his cheeks burn.

Phil blushed more deeply than he ever had before. 

"I-i'm sorry I should have knocked. I just wanted my pants," Phil hurried to the edge of the bed to grab his pants quickly. "I understand though, it's what you need to do." He looked over at Dan and his cheeks flushed even more, "I don't want you to get hurt," Phil said quietly, mumbling but wanting Dan to know it was OK.

Dan glanced up still with a blush. 

"Yeah, it's just cause they are rough, and it hurts a little less If I do this before I leave cause then it’ll be a less of a shock to my system. Sometimes stretching more and making it easier for myself effects how my whole week at work will go, since if I end up out of commission on my first day I have no money that week," He shrugged and relaxed a little, Phil wasn't judging him. "Sorry though, I should have closed my door properly. I’m not used to having people able to walk in."

 

"I know baby," Phil said smiling softly. "Just take care of yourself, whatever you need to do," he met Dan's eyes. "I'll be in the lounge if you need me for anything," Phil said stepping back a little and smiling at Dan. 

He didn't like that Dan had to go through precautions to not get hurt at his job. In this job if he got hurt he would lose money, while in a normal job if he got hurt at work they would give him a paid vacation. But to them Dan getting hurt was just a burden, he didn’t matter. 

Dan blushed and nodded. 

“I will be out soon," he added, waiting for Phil to leave before he continued. He was admittedly a little more shaken up after that interaction.

Phil left the room and sighed. He hated this. He sulked back to the lounge and laid on the couch after he put his pants back on himself. He didn’t want to play games anymore, so he just put his head down on his knees and hugged his knees. He shifted slightly and felt his wallet in his back pocket. He took it out and flipped through how much money was in there, taking out a large amount which was probably far more then he needed to pay to cover for what Dan lost but nevertheless Phil laid it on the coffee table before closing his eyes again to relax while he waited.

Dan came out about half an hour later, dressed and his hair done. He smiled at Phil and sat next to him, noticing the money on his way but not mentioning it. He didn't want to talk about money. It cheapened this whole thing.

"Hey you," Phil said moving his arm and putting his legs back down to look over at Dan. He sat up again and scooted closer putting his arm around the younger boy. "Anything else you gotta do today?" Phil felt like he was being a bit clingy but he just wanted as much of Dan as he could have before the younger boy left for work.

Dan smiled. 

"Not really, I need to be at work by six tonight, Claire is gonna pick me up at around five instead of a driver. So that.... yeah, word doesn't get to my boss. So we have about an hour," he leaned into Phil's touch, knowing he wouldn't have it for much longer.

"Wanna cuddle?" Phil asked as he moved his hand under Dan's legs to pull them over his lap. "Just for a little while," Phil wrapped his arms around Dan's waist.

"Mhm," Dan said as he cuddled up on Phil's lap. 

"I don't wanna go to work, I wanna stay with you," he sighed and kissed Phil's cheek.

Phil rested into Dan’s shoulder. 

"Then why don't you? What would they do if you just didn't go back?" he said softly. He would take Dan into his out house in a heartbeat if it got him away from that place. He would never let him get hurt again.

"I dunno... No one has left, not since I started working there. I am one of their top dancers so they wouldn't let me go easily, I make them a lot of money."

Phil pouted and gave a soft sigh. 

"They couldn't stop you," he said softly. There was hardly a point in trying to argue with Dan but if he didn't put how he felt out there Dan would never know. "If you don’t want to do it anymore you could just quit, I'd help you from there," he lifted his head to look at Dan a bit sadly. He just wanted to give Dan a better choice in life.

"If I did quit now, and you 'helped' me, I wouldn’t have quit at all. I would still be a whore, just a private one," Dan said sadly. "If I leave, which one day I will, I want it to be because I can do it alone. And it's not just money, it's… I don't know anything else. It's a scary job, yes. But the world is scarier."

Phil caressed Dan's side gently. He didn't wanna rush him. 

"I know, it's ok," he said softly kissing Dan's shoulder. To Phil, helping Dan if he needed money wasn't making him a private whore; it was just him helping his boyfriend. Cause that’s what they would be.

Dan smiled a little. 

"Being a private whore is more appealing than being a public one though, granted," he kissed Phil's cheek. "I just need to be my own support system. That’s all."

Phil smiled and nodded, it was Dan’s want for independence. Phil could understand that to a degree, he just didn't like Dan sleeping with other men.

"It's alright. I'm here if you ever need me; don't ever be too proud to ask for help when you can get it," he looked at Dan seriously.

Dan gave a small nod and cuddled closer, feeling uncomfortable. 

"Can we talk about something else?" he asked quietly.

"Anything you want," Phil replied, he was more than happy to get away from that conversation anyway. Phil placed another kiss on Dan's shoulder and then one on his neck.

"Tell me things about you?" Dan said and leaned into the little kisses, smiling.

Phil laughed a little. 

"Like what?" He said giving Dan more kisses.

"Anything, I wanna know more about you," Dan said giggling and kissing Phil's lips quickly.

Phil sighed and pulled back a little bit, giving himself time to think. 

"I told you stuff about me when I was questioning you." he snuggled into Dan's neck. "Ok let’s see. My favorite animal is a lion and my favorite TV show is Buffy. I still have a crush on Sarah Michelle Gellar. Hmmm, my favorite Pokemon is a Growlilthe.....I'm just telling you my favorite stuff," Phil said with slight annoyance in his voice, he lifted his face to Dan's.

"That's okay though, I like knowing your favorite things," Dan said smiling and kissing Phil again.

Phil smiled back, leaning in to kiss Dan. 

"You're my favorite," he said softly brushing his lips against Dan’s.

Dan smiled and kissed back, Phil was adorable with his little comments like that. If he could keep those little things in his mind at work maybe it wouldn't be so bad, he could mentally stay here with Phil and ignore the rest of what happens.

Phil kissed Dan a little harder. 

"Ask me a question baby, what do you wanna know?" Phil's hand slowly moved up Dan's side over his chest, deciding to rest on his neck.

"What’s your favorite feature about yourself?" Dan said, secretly loving hearing the word 'baby' from Phil.

Phil thought about it for a moment. 

"I guess my eyes.... mainly cause I can do this," Phil pulled away slightly to look at Dan and then crossed his eyes. "My eye tricks are quite good."

Dan giggled. 

"Well I like your eyes cause they’re pretty," he kissed Phil lightly before talking again "What is your biggest non-sexual turn on?"

Phil made a slightly confused face. 

"Hmm? What do you mean?” 

"Well, things that can turn you on that aren't specifically sexual, like um... certain smells or items of clothing or something like intelligence or humor."

"Hmm," Phil smiled and leaned against Dan's shoulder breathing softly. "I like the way you smell, smells like warm," Phil pressed his face into Dan's neck. "Yup, that’s what I like."

"Warm isn't a smell silly," Dan said smiling. "But I am glad you like my smell," he giggled and let his arms wrap around Phil tightly. He knew it was time to go soon but he didn't want to pull away from this moment.

"It so is a smell!" Phil laughed. This was the longest he had spent with Dan, but it still felt like it was over too soon. Phil closed his eyes gently. "It's gonna be a long week away from you," Phil said softly.

Dan didn't say anything, just stayed close and hugged Phil. He hated the idea of not seeing Phil for a whole week, but he didn't want to seem clingy so he said nothing.

"Can I have another kiss before you go?" Phil asked quietly. He lifted his face closer to Dan's. "Please," Phil added, hoping now he wasn't coming on too strongly since Dan was about to go to work.

Dan leaned in and kissed him, not even considering saying no. One hand cupped Phil's face as they kissed and Dan tried to burn this into his mind, he would need to remember this later. He needed to remember what it felt like to be actually wanted and cared for. He kept the kiss going, not wanting to break it.

Phil tilted his face up and deepened the kiss, his hands going up the boys back and holding him closer. This was theirs. Dan may be having sex with the other men but kissing was something just between them.

Dan kissed Phil for a few more seconds before he pulled back, meeting Phil's eyes. He dragged his thumb over Phil's lips, eyes moving down to them for a second and then back to his eyes. He smiled a little before kissing him again softly. He just wanted to stay with Phil like this for ever.

Phil happily took Dan's lips, this time not making any effort to deepen the kiss, just enjoying the gentle, loving lips pressed against his. Phil moved his hands across Dan's skin caressing his back. They didn't speak, it was just unspoken feelings between them, feelings that neither of them properly understood yet.

Dan lightly ran his lips across Phil's, feeling intimate as he dragged Phil's lower lip down a little before kissing him again.

"I just wanna stay here with you," he said quietly.

"Me too," Phil said back in the same hushed voice. Phil would give anything to have Dan stay here with him, tonight, tomorrow, forever? Anything to keep him from going to that horrible place with those people who didn't see Dan for all his worth.

Dan kissed him for the millionth time and sighed, wrapping his arms around Phil and deepening the kiss a little to feel him closer. 

"I need to go," He said sadly between the kiss, “We can give you a ride home as well, but we need to move now,"

Phil made a slightly frustrated sound and slowly pulled away from Dan. He knew he had to go and didn't want to get him in trouble if he was late. 

"Yeah… okay," he said loosening his grip on Dan to allow him to move.

Dan leaned back in and kissed him again quickly.

"I just, I need to remember what your lips feel like," he muttered before giving Phil small kisses again and again. He didn't want to be apart from this boy but he knew he needed to pull back in a moment.

Phil smiled into the kiss, it was cute how Dan was needily leaning in for more kisses. A great improvement from the other nights where he would cut Phil off from kisses after Phil had paid. He liked it way more this way. It was what gave him hope that someday he would be able to save Dan from ever having to go back to his job.

Dan pulled back all of a sudden, standing up.

"Okay this is silly I really need to go,” he said laughing a little and looking down at Phil, holding his hand out, "Come on."

Phil grabbed Dan’s hand and pulled him back down. 

"Just a little bit more," Phil whined, stealing a couple more kisses and then standing up with Dan. "Okay, okay, don't want you to be late for work," Phil said giving Dan more kisses on his cheek.

Dan didn't wanna go back, he wanted to stay here forever with Phil. But it was time to face reality. They finally pulled away from each other and Dan grabbed the money Phil had left him along with his keys. They made their way out the door and into the car. Dan and Claire dropped Phil home, and then Dan went to work.

Everything happened as usual, it was all the same routine. Dan just went through the motions and fake smiled when he needed too, selling himself as a sex god when really he was just a scared and confused child. Luckily, no one was particularly awful to him that night, and he got away with two clients who wanted reasonably vanilla sex, although one was very much into insulting him. Not that it bothered Dan though, it was all the same stuff he had heard before, both from other clients and from himself.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost there.  
> (theres sex in chapter 20 btw)  
> How's my editor doing?, Im having no time at all to actually read over the edit im just trusting that she is doing a good job and not butchering our story. So I hope that this is an improvment over previous chapters which hopefully will be fixed whenever the second editor gets time  
> \- Mongoose


	19. Dollar Amounts

 The week went by slowly but finally it was Friday night again and Phil was there watching Dan do his mesmerizing dance, not missing a beat. It felt like every time Phil watched him dance he fell more in love with him, if that was even possible. It wasn't surprising that every guy in the room was now eagerly eyeing over the younger boy. It was obvious that they all wanted to touch him or have him. Dan glanced at Phil and locked eyes with him for only a second and Phil cocked his head to the bar signaling to where Dan could find him. Phil still had every intention of buying Dan for the night.

Dan finished his dance, the motion from Phil not going unnoticed. He made his way over to the bar and sat in the seat next to him and smiled. 

"Why hey there stranger," he said grinning.

Phil laughed a little turning towards Dan. 

"Silly," he said smiling and putting his hand gently on Dan's knee. "You did really well tonight up there," he said, his thumb gently caressing Dan’s knee.

Phil’s eyes kept glancing down at Dan’s lips uncontrollably. He wanted to kiss him so badly, and even though they had kissed passionately many times the past weekend, it had been a long time so Phil was threading on delicate ground with Dan now and felt like he needed to play a bit safer. 

"You wanna get a drink?" Phil asked pulling his hand away

“A drink sounds lovely,” Dan nodded, eyes looking over Phil almost greedily. He hadn’t gotten to see Phil for the whole week, so now that Phil was with him Dan just wanted to constantly look at him.

Dan made himself look away from Phil for a moment, pretending to look around the room to seem nonchalant.

Phil suddenly felt brave for a moment while Dan's face was turned away from him so he leaned in and planted a quick kiss Dan’s cheek, blushing when he pulled back.

"I missed you," he mumbled turning towards his own drink. "Do you wanna just talk tonight or do you wanna go to the back? T-that is if you want, you can always go to other customers if you want to," Phil said nervously.

"I don't want another customer," Dan assured Phil, and that was the closest he was willing to go to ‘I miss you too’ for the night. "I obviously can't just sit here all night because my boss will get mad, but can we for a while?" He said, feeling himself blush. 

Phil smiled and nodded, relaxing a bit. Surprisingly, Dan still wasn't used to someone wanting to spend their time just talking to him and not just fooling around with him. It was a new and enjoyable novelty. 

Now that Phil had Dan secured for himself, they could just relax and talk until they were ready to go to the back room. And who knew if they would actually even have sex there? They could just cuddle and Phil would be happy. 

"Is it alright if I tell you about my week? I don't know if that would be boring or not..."

"No, please do, I want to hear about your week," Dan said quietly, he was acting shyer than usual, which was more himself, having broken down some of the wall he had up last week. 

But he was still paranoid of people noticing, so he kept looking around, changing his body language when necessary to suit his work personality instead of his actual one. He, of course, would rather just freely listen to Phil talk all night instead of worrying about his image and reputation in the bar.

Phil smiled shyly and tilted his head softly, collecting his thoughts. It was nice to have an opportunity to just talk like this. 

"Well my radio show went well, I got to interview a really cool artist," Phil played with his hands. "I probably looked like a total loser though since I was so nervous. Afterwards I pressed the wrong sound buttons twice, and introduced a song wrong," Phil's voice was calm as he talked, like a normal conversation. He wanted Dan to know what went on in his life when he wasn't here. "Surprised they still keep me around, to be honest.” 

"’Course they do, you're perfect... I listened to your show this week actually," Dan mumbled and looking away. "You have a really good radio voice," Dan took a sip of his drink and looked back at Phil. It could almost feel normal, like they could be something, if only he was less messed up.

Phil blushed. 

"You listened?" he said softly but surprised, "Thanks," he smiled to himself and continued talking. "On Tuesday I went out with one of my friends to a museum, he wanted to go because he needed some 'artistic inspiration' or something like that. I just really like looking at all the old stuff," Phil looked at Dan and smiled at him. "Have you ever been to a historical museum?"

Dan shook his head. 

"No... I haven't. I think maybe as a kid but I was too young to remember. Historical stuff look cool though, I might go one day," he said and was going to continue but was interrupted by some guy nudging his arm. 

"I assume he isn't paying you to just sit here... so you're available? What are your prices?" The man abruptly made his intentions clear without even an introduction. This was the kind of person Dan had to interact with when he didn't have the company of Phil.

Phil was taken back, he scowled at the man talking to Dan now. He had interrupted their peaceful talk. 

Plus, Phil had already put a claim on him. So this guy needed to back off of Phil. Phil dug his nails into his palms waiting for Dan to tell him off.

Dan eyed the man over, he didn't look at all wealthy. He looked out of place and not in a good way like Phil did.

"My prices vary depending on what you want out of me, but I get the feeling you couldn't afford much from me... no offense sweety," Dan said with a slightly condescending tone.

The man scoffed at Dan. 

"How much for a handjob?" he asked, he seemed a bit determined to get something from Dan. 

Phil rolled his eyes, he knew the man wasn’t going to be able to afford anything, it was just disrupting their conversation and that was bothering Phil. If this was a normal club and Dan wasn't a hooker, other people would still be approaching the beautiful boy. But at least they wouldn't be discussing prices for sexual activities.

Dan rolled his eyes as well, this was a little crass for this club. Money usually wasn't something discussed just known through talk of the customers. 

"Hundred pounds," Dan said making eye contact with the man. "But I don't think you have that, and if you don't have money you are just wasting my time," Dan turned back to Phil and cut the stranger off. "What were we saying?" He said to Phil.

Phil tried to gather his thoughts and figure out what he was going to say to Dan again but the man still there and that made him uncomfortable. 

"Shit you're expensive, jeez," the man groaned. "Fuck, what can I get for 35 pounds?" He said putting a hand on the bar counter between Dan and Phil. It seemed like he didn’t want to give up easily. 

Dan sighed loudly then turned in his seat to face the stranger. 

"That will get you permission to touch me  for 5 minutes… out here, not in private. And if you want me to be in any way responsive you're gonna need to give me at least another 40 pounds. I'm not cheap, I'm the most expensive whore here so I suggest you go ask someone else more in your price range if you want more," Dan assumed the man would say no, as it wasn't a lot to get for 35 pounds but Dan just wasn't going to sell himself cheaply when Phil was an option.

"Deal," the man said frustrated, pulling the money roughly from his pocket and slamming it on the counter. 

Phil was glad he wasn't like that, that he was able to afford Dan's prices. Dan said he was the most expensive hooker here. Yet when Phil was with Zach that one time he had been charged more. Phil liked to see that as Dan's soft spot for Phil and giving him some sort of discount in a way.

"Your five minutes starts now," Dan said as he pocketed the money and turned his body half way towards Phil so he could talk to him while giving the stranger access. He felt hands instantly at his hips. "So yeah... museums... one day I would love to go, but I haven't really had anyone to go with," Dan shrugged, ignoring the hand working up his chest. He wasn't being touched in a way that felt nice, the man touching him just because he wanted to felt greedy.

Phil's eyes kept flicking to the foreign hands on Dan's body, he felt the cold sting of jealousy stab him again. He knew he had no reason to actually be jealous. It was obvious Dan didn't care about the man touching him, and had his attention focused on Phil. But it was a physical jealousy, the thought of someone else touching his Dan. he returned his eyes to meet Dan's. 

"Yeah, well maybe on a day off or something," he started talking but was unsure if he could talk about it with a customer so close to them, then thinking that he was someone who would probably not come back for a long time now that he knew Dan's prices. "We could go maybe on a Monday or something," Phil said anyway, throwing care aside.

"Maybe," Dan said smiling a little. He liked that. It again reminded him that Phil liked him for more than sex. The foreign hands on him ran down his sides and partially over his ass but he was sitting so the man couldn't reach all of it.

"Do you really need to talk to that guy? It's kind of off putting," he said sounding irritated to which Dan turned slightly and said. "Give me 50 pounds and I will do what you say, but you aren't paying me anywhere near enough to make demands."

Phil smiled, and sat up a bit more, confidence going through him slightly. He wanted to make the man a bit uncomfortable now. Make him know they had something beyond here that he wouldn't ever get. But he was unsure of what to say, and at the same time he didn't want to scare Dan away. 

"Next time I stay the night can we play Silent Hill? Whenever next time is, I don't mean tonight," Phil said quickly.

Dan gave Phil an anxious expression, anyone could easily go talk to his boss, so he didn't want to talk like him and Phil where more even though they were clearly blurring the lines a little anyway. 

"Sure… Anyway… How has your night been so far? Before you came here?" he changed the subject quickly.

Phil blushed a bit noticing the subject change, he took that as a notice that he had stepped out of line. 

"Uh fine I guess, I just watched TV," he mumbled, hoping the 5 minutes would be up soon. It seemed to be taking forever. "I slept in really late today for some reason, I'm not used to waking up after noon,"

They kept talking about little things for a little while and soon the time was up. 

"Sorry times up hands off," Dan said sharply looking at the stranger. He made a slightly irritated face but stopped, and just walked away. Dan moved closer to Phil instantly. "I'm sorry... It's just... if he talked to my boss, he would be mad if he knew that this, we, that we're not completely business..." Dan blushed a little. "I would love to play Silent Hill with you," he said looking at him again. 

Phil smiled gently glad the other person was away now. 

"I don't think he was entirely listening to what we were saying, but I get it," Phil smiled. "I just.. I didn't want you to think I was shutting you off, I wasn't. My boss just can't know anything about you," He said sounding a little stressed. Phil kept his smile and leaned over to Dan’s face and ran his hand up his thigh to try and keep the act up while they were out in the open. "Don’t worry about it. Can we go to the back now?" Phil asked nudging his nose along Dan's neck.

.”Yeah sure we can," he said softly, taking Phil’s hand and standing up. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter i know x-x and it's a bit later in the day too, i'm sorry, forgive me


	20. Comfort

“Dan, it's okay...I understand. I'll be more careful, don't worry," Phil said, putting his arm around Dan's waist to lead him to the back room, by now knowing exactly where it was.

 Phil understood now that he had to keep this thing between the two of them secret. It made sense. Phil just didn't want Dan to cut him off outside of work, but it didn't seem like that would happen now.

 Dan openly relaxed when they got to the back room. They were alone now where no one could hear them.

"Hey," he said quietly, taking Phil’s hand and pulling him in closer. Dan really wanted to kiss him, but he had forgotten that he could do anything with Phil without being asked.

 Phil put his arms over Dan's shoulders and pulled him a bit closer.

"Hey," he replied quietly, leaning his face close to Dan's, resting their foreheads together. Phil, too, felt better now that they were alone. "Gimmie kisses," Phil giggled and kissed Dan's cheek.

 Dan nodded and smiled lightly. He slowly closed the space between them so Phil's mouth collided with his and he kissed him properly, having missed it all week.

 Phil moved his lips gently against Dan's, kissing him sweetly, lost in the moment. Phil's teeth grazed Dan's bottom lip and he made a soft sigh of content against the younger boys mouth.

"Have I ever told you how perfect your lips are?" Phil asked between kisses, smiling into the kiss now.

 Dan smiled a little but didn't pull back at all, not willing to give up the kisses yet.

"No, but I can guarantee yours are better," he muttered, hands moving to Phil's waist.

 Phil made a small laugh sound and started to guide Dan over to the bed, gently laying him down and rolling next to him. He wasn’t entirely sure what he wanted from Dan tonight. All he knew was that right now the boy’s lips felt so nice against his and he wanted to take this in for as long as he could. Phil slipped his hand down, playing with the hem on Dan's collar.

 Dan sighed contentedly and kept kissing Phil, hands exploring over Phil's sides, re familiarizing himself with Phil’s body.

"Missed you," Dan muttered, because for some reason he felt more comfortable saying such things when they were physically connected rather than sitting across the bar from one another.

Phil smiled and deepened the kiss briefly, glad he finally got Dan to say it back.

"I hate this shirt," Phil said tugging at it and lifting his face up to look over Dan's body. He pushed his hands under Dan's shirt and started working at it to take it off, at the same time returning his lips to Dan's. His leg, which was in between Dan's, started grinding into Dan's crotch slowly.

 Dan could never predict his time with Phil and whether it was going to end up sexual or not, but he had no objections. He moaned suddenly but quietly when Phil's leg pressed against him, and Dan deepened the kiss, hands going into Phil's hair.

 Phil moaned back softly and pushed Dan's shirt up farther, breaking the kiss for only a moment to pull it over Dan’s head and toss it aside.

"Is this okay? If I do anything unpleasant, let me know okay?”

"No it's fine, everything’s perfect," Dan said quickly trying to catch Phil's lips again, hands running over Phil's back.

 Phil smiled and deepened the kiss, letting his tongue gently work its way inside Dan's mouth, allowing it to explore and taste more of Dan. He remembered that Dan had to be ordered to do things, and parted their lips for a moment, getting his thoughts together.

"You can touch me too, as much as you like. I like the feeling of your hands down my back," He said, trying to encourage Dan to just go with how he felt again.

 Dan nodded and relaxed a little, letting his hands move where they naturally wanted to. He started down at Phil’s hips, then worked up under Phil’s shirt.

 Phil made a soft sigh in content, his hands running smoothly over Dan's chest and neck.

"I don't like seeing other people’s hands on you," Phil admitted quietly.

"I know," Dan whispered back, slowly running his hands over Phil's chest and shoulders and then kissing him as a silent apology. "I don't like other people’s hands on me either," he muttered.

 Phil smiled and bit at Dan's lip. He worked down Dan's body, biting gently at his neck, careful as usual. He pushed Dan up on the bed more and laid next to him, his hand working down to Dan's thigh to pull his leg over his own.

 Dan moaned and rolled his hips against Phil. Being with Phil like this was so different than anyone else, and now that he accepted it and was less scared of it, he loved the time he got to spend with Phil. He was starting to know who Dan was again, and he loved being able to be Dan the person and not grey the hooker.

"I wanna talk to you, but I've missed you, and this, so much," Phil said, caressing Dan’s thigh and lifting his face to Dan's shoulder, nibbling on him. "I can’t stop touching you,"  he giggled. "Wanna tell me what you did over the week?"

Dan cleared his throat and tried to respond in between moans. "Hmm.. you know, not a lot. I slept and played video games," Dan said as his eyes flicked from Phil's eyes to his lips. He rolled his hips against Phil again to be as close to him as possible.

 "Yeah?" Phil half-responded to Dan’s week and half-moaned to what Dan did. He liked it when Dan showed want for him like this. Phil got himself back together, "Anything in particular you played? Get any further in your Skyrim game?" He asked, rolling his hips more roughly. They needed to remove their pants soon.

 Dan's mouth opened in a silent moan and his hands gripped at Phil's hips, pulling him closer.

"Yeah, um, mainly Skyrim, got a bit further, yeah," he said, giving up on gathering his thoughts and just wanting to focus on Phil.

"Mmmhm that's good," Phil pushed Dan away and sat up, straddling his hips to undo the younger boy’s pants, his eyes dark with lust for the other.  
“God,  I want to have you so badly," Phil rolled his hips as he jerked off Dan's pants, moving to completely remove them. Dan let Phil take his pants off before starting to undo Phil's, pulling them off then pulling Phil close to him again by his hips.

"Mmh fuck," he moaned lightly at the new level of closeness and leaned up to kiss Phil's neck.

 Phil let out a breath that turned into a moan as he felt Dan’s mouth on his neck. he moved his hips harder in long, slow movements.

"Dan," Phil whined, his hand getting impatient and going in between them to grip at the younger boy’s underwear. He started tugging harshly at it in any direction, trying to rip it off.

 Dan rolled his eyes with a playful grin. He pushed Phil off of himself before slipping out of his own underwear and then crawled on top of Phil, kissing him harshly and biting at his lips. "Want you," he said quietly against them.

 Phil pulled Dan even closer, tugging at his hair. His other hand roamed down over Dan's ass and started teasing his entrance. Dan’s hips jerked up needily.

"Take off my underwear," Phil ordered, moaning softly into Dan's mouth.

 Dan nodded lightly into the kiss and broke away for only a moment to pull Phil's underwear off. He wasted no time to crawl back on top of Phil again, hand going to Phil's cock and stroking him slowly. Phil's hand went back to Dan's ass, gripping him firmly and digging his nails into the skin a little.  His other hand went up to Dan's mouth, pressing his fingers against his soft lips.

"Suck," he whispered, moaning softly as Dan stroked him.

 Dan took Phil's fingers into his mouth immediately and let his tongue run over them, eyes locking with Phil as he continued to stroke his cock. Phil's mouth fell open slightly as he watched Dan work.

"God you look so hot like that," Phil purred letting Dan continue to lick and suck his fingers. When Dan lifted his head, making a popping sound with his mouth, Phil jerked Dan's hips forward so he was higher up and Dan's head fell into Phil’s shoulder. He continued to tease Dan's entrance with his fingers and slowly pushed one finger inside, carefully working it in and out.

 Dan moaned lightly, turning his head against Phil's neck and still stroking his cock as he let Phil stretch him. He was tempted to push against Phil's fingers, but decided against it as he wanted Phil to set the pace instead. Phil pushed in another finger, turning his head slightly to kiss the top of Dan's head. He scissored his fingers trying to stretch Dan carefully.

"Can't wait to be inside you," Phil purred, putting kisses all over Dan’s face and moving his fingers a bit quicker before pushing deep inside to the knuckle.

 Dan moaned again, shuddering slightly because he wanted Phil so badly and want like this was still so new.

"Please," he whined rolling his hips down a little, not being able to help it as he placed small kisses against Phil's neck.

 Phil moaned and pulled his fingers out and pushed Dan's hips up.

"Get the lube," he whispered against Dan's hair.

 Dan nodded and moved away to get the lube out of the drawer. He put the bottle in Phil's hand then got back on Phil, kissing his neck a little impatiently as he waited.

 Phil quickly pulled a condom on and then opened the bottle of lube, coating himself with the cool gel. He let out a soft moan and pushed Dan's hips up, guiding him slowly lower until the tip of his cock was against the younger boy’s entrance.

"Lower yourself down baby," Phil whispered after positioning himself completely.

 Dan nodded and bit his lip, lowering himself down onto Phil and instantly feeling him fill him so perfectly.

"Mmmhh," he moaned straight away, pushing down onto Phil further until he felt all of Phil inside him. He liked the fact that he could be himself with Phil and not put on a show. He was getting better at relaxing and going with his instincts.

 Phil ran his hands up Dan's hips and sides.

"Well done," he cooed, his hands roaming up Dan's chest. "You okay? That was a lot," Phil moved his hips slightly under Dan's to make himself move inside the younger boy’s body.

 Dan's mouth fell more open and he nodded, eyes a little unfocused as he rolled his hips down against Phil, meeting him in the middle of his little movements.

"C'mere," Phil said pulling Dan down and wrapping his arms around his waist. He started leaving kisses all over his shoulder and neck. "I'm gonna move okay?" Phil said guiding Dan's hips a little farther up and then Phil slowly thrusting his hips up to fill Dan.

  He worked in slow movements, rocking his hips up to Dan's, his hands caressing Dan's back and sides. Dan moaned turning his face towards Phil's neck to muffle himself a little. He felt almost shy with Phil, which was ridiculous because this is the one thing he knew he was great at. He started moving his hips in time with Phil's thrusts, taking him deeper as he rolled his body on top of Phil's.

 Phil held on to Dan tightly and thrusted up faster letting himself moan before slowing down again.

"Want me deeper baby?" Phil said in a low moan jerking his hips up harshly then slowly pulling back out.

"Yeah, yes please," Dan moaned out parting his legs more and grinding down against Phil. "God I love it so much when you fuck me.”

 Phil smiled to himself and kissed Dan's shoulder a bit more to show he understood that Dan meant him specifically. This could be the closest he got Dan to tell him that he loved him back.

"Up, lean back," Phil said pushing on Dan's chest and guiding Dan to lean back onto his hands, Phil's cock still inside him. Phil propped himself on his elbows and thrusted up, able to go deeper now Dan was angled back. He grunted and sat up to grab Dan's hips, pulling him down onto his cock.

 Dan moaned loudly and parted his legs a little, propping them so he was more stable in the position.

"Mmhh harder," Dan moaned without really thinking but then blushed, a big part of him not yet used to this and asking for something from Phil still felt like it should be out of bounds. To counter his outburst, he  added "I mean, um, do you need me to do anything for you? What do you want me to do?"

But the statement was weak and not at all determined because Dan was so distracted by the pleasure Phil was giving him.

"You're perfect," Phil groaned as he jerked Dan's hips into him harder, not reading Dan’s comment too deeply.

 Phil wanted to change their position, something to give him more leverage. He lifted Dan off of him and laid him down. He then lifted the younger boy up, rolling him back so he was on his shoulders and upper back.

"This comfortable?" Phil asked getting onto his knees and separating Dan's legs, the younger boy’s ass displayed and ready for Phil at any moment.

 Dan made a sound that was a cross between a moan and a whine, his body missing the feeling of having Phil inside him.

"Do it baby just do it," he whined parting his legs more to display himself to Phil even more.

 Phil didn't wait any longer, he pushed his cock back inside Dan, letting out a low moan.

"Ah fuck Dan," Phil said, happy to be able to use the other boy’s name in bed properly. He kept pushing forward trying to get as deep as he could before pulling back out completely and repeating the motion.

 Dan moaned again, in his position he couldn't do much more than just take it, but he liked that. Phil making him feel good like this, making himself feel good too with Dan's body, was still something new but incredible.

"Hearing you moan my name... my real name.. mmhh fuck. It sounds so good," he said between moans.

"Say mine too, babe," Phil moaned and kissed the side of Dan's leg. He thrusted forward, moving faster. "Touch yourself," Phil purred.

 Dan moaned louder as his hand wrapped around his own cock and started to stroke.

"Mmhh.. Not used to saying actual names," he started stroking himself a little faster, “But, yes, I will,” He let his head fall back and set his mind free, "Mmmhh Phil fuck yes.”

 Phil slowed down just a bit to take in the sight of Dan, thinking that he would never get used to this beautiful boy.

"I love the way your name tastes," Phil rolled his hips while deep inside Dan's body. "And also the way you feel. Mhmm Dan you feel so good," he moaned, starting to slip their bodies lower to the bed.

 Dan moaned louder, he loved the way Phil was talking, it turned him on even more and that added to everything else that was going on… it was almost too much.

"Oh shit, fuck, I'm close... mhh fuck can I come?" He needed to ask, he didn't know if he was allowed to or not.

 Phil lifted Dan back up, thrusting harder inside him, not responding to Dan at first. He wanted to build him up just a little bit longer.

"Mmmm fuck, yes do it," Phil moaned finally and bit harshly into Dan's leg.

 Dan moaned loudly and yelped a little at Phil biting at his leg. He came suddenly and moaned Phil's name loudly, clutching the sheet in one hand and pumping his cock with the other. His come was spilling down his body, landing on his chest and his face but he didn't care, it all felt so good.

 Phil smiled, looking down at Dan and the mess he had made of himself.

"Look at you," Phil teased and pulled back out of Dan slowly, pulling the younger boy’s body down to the bed and opening his legs wide. He took a moment to admire the visual of Dan covered in his own come before deciding what to do next.

 Dan made eye contact with Phil and smirked a little before his tongue darted out and licked up some of his own come that was by his mouth as he waited to see what Phil's next move was.

 Phil's mouth fell open as he leaned over Dan, kissing his face, cleaning the remainder of Dan's come up with his tongue. Then he leaned back and lifted Dan's legs up, pushing back inside and quickly thrusting in and out of him to get more friction.

 Dan moaned a little, going slack and letting Phil move him however he wanted to.

"Mmh I wanna hear you moan when you come baby," he said trying to edge Phil closer.

Phil grunted in response and thrusted harder, his hands roaming over Dan's body and touching every inch of it, smearing the come across Dan's chest.

"Mmm, fuck Dan, fuck," Phil moaned staring down at the gorgeous boy underneath him. "I'm so close, tighten yourself," Phil gasped.

 Dan smiled and did as requested, rolling his hips as well to give Phil more sensations. With a smirk on his face, he reached down to his own chest and got a small amount of come on his finger before licking it off seductively, giving Phil more of a visual.

"Oh shit," Phil moaned thrusting a few more times before he was lost. He came and fell on top of Dan swiftly, licking and nipping at the younger boy’s neck as he rode out his orgasm.

 Dan ran his hands up and down Phil's sides slowly and lightly as Phil continued to move inside him, thinking about how sex with Phil was nothing like he had ever experienced before. And although sex before Phil was always just a meaningless thing he did as a job and it meant nothing to him, his job sex now seemed a lot less likeable because of what he had with Phil. Now that he had experienced Phil, a bright face always locked in his memory, everything else seemed so much paler.

"Hello,"  he said softly, giggling a little when Phil had stopped moving.

 Phil laughed softly and lifted his face up to kiss Dan's lips.

"Hey beautiful," Phil whispered with a smile on his face.

 Phil loved these encounters with Dan. He wished that he didn't have to come to this place, that they could be in one of their homes and hold each other all night, but the cruel reality was that Dan had to go back out there and have sex with another person.

 Dan leaned up and kissed Phil's lips softly. He had noticed a downside in these stolen moments with Phil: when they were drawing to a close, he got a dull ache in his chest, coupled with an almost-panic. He hated it. He had never felt it before, but it was getting more intense every time he saw Phil. Dan kissed him again, a small sigh of both content and frustration leaving his lips. He knew Phil was going to be bad for him; he already was.

 Phil pulled back, slipping out of Dan's body at last and pulling off the condom to throw it away. He sat back on the bed, shuffling the sheets down to get under them.

"Come cuddle?" Phil asked.

 Dan did hesitate but only for a second, and only because he knew he enjoyed it more than he should.

"Okay," he said smiling and slipped under the covers with Phil, shyly cuddling up next to him.

 Phil wrapped his arms around Dan and relaxed his body. He let out a soft sigh as he closed his eyes, "I don't like cuddling here, I feel like I'm on a time limit."

 Dan nuzzled against him a little more.

"I know," he said a little sadly, "You are, but don't think about it, we have some time," he said sighing and kissing Phil's cheek, the ache in his chest feeling more permanent now. "I like cuddling though," he added.

 Phil smiled when Dan kissed his cheek and he tilted his face back to kiss Dan's lips.

"I like cuddling with you too," he breathed softly and ran his hand up Dan's back gently. "I don't wanna go home alone," Phil mumbled

 Dan made a sad face.

"I don't know why someone like you is alone in the first place, surely you could have anyone you would like? I mean, look at you," he rested his forehead against Phil's, "I wish I had your life, it sounds so much better than mine," he sighed quietly and kissed Phil's cheek. "But then again, being alone sucks, and being lonely is universal regardless of what kind of life you have. I guess at 4am when no one is with you it doesn't matter if you're a hooker or a radio presenter or someone famous. Cause you're just a lonely person in the dark."

 Phil nodded softly and nuzzled Dans cheek,

"I have you,"  he whispered. "I'm glad I'm not alone right now," Phil smiled at Dan. "Don't make that face," he kissed Dan's cheek.

 He didn't want to wait another week to see Dan. It was too difficult to stay away, so he just took a risk and asked the question.

"Can I come over?" Phil whispered trying to think of a good subject change in case Dan said no.

"Yeah," Dan said a little to quickly. "If you want to, that would be nice," he said softly and nuzzled a little. "I really don’t want to, but I really should go back out there... I need at least 2 clients but I’m just so comfortable and calm in your arms," Dan muttered sounding irritated.

All he wanted was to spend time with this perfect boy all night long but he had to go prostitute himself out again first.

"Hey, you need two clients for the money right? Well if you wanna take the rest of the night off you can, I can cover the payment," Phil said propping himself up and rolling on top of Dan. "You don't sound like you really wanna go back out there."

"Not when I've been with you I don't, I don’t enjoy myself at all then," he said and smiled at Phil before kissing him lightly. "And then if I get a bad customer it's really bad you know? In comparison," he shrugged a little to get away from that line of thought. "But anyway, it's expensive, I don't want to make you pay too much," he said blushing a little, the topic of money with Phil was something Dan despised.

 Phil kissed Dan’s neck softly.

"Daaan," Phil whined, he didn't like it when Dan questioned how much money Phil could spend.

 Phil still received a pension from the company he sold as part of the contract, and in general since Phil owned his apartment his price of living was pretty low. His biggest expense was Dan, and he expected this situation to be over sometime soon. He didn't expect Dan to stay here forever, so he could, and was willing to, afford him until that time.

"It's fine, let's just go back to your place," Phil lifted his face up to Dan’s, "I don't want you to go through anyone bad tonight and we’re happy right now so let's just go," Phil pleaded, his blue eyes begging Dan to just let them leave.

 Dan nodded, “Okay, okay cool. We can go, I want to," he said smiling a little and cuddled closer to Phil. "We gotta sneak out though, I would prefer explaining it to my boss later rather than now. Is that okay?" he asked quietly, almost mysteriously, feeling like a silly childish rebel, having to sneak out of somewhere.

 Phil tilted his face down to Dan's and kissed his lips.

"Thank you," he whispered and kept placing light kisses over Dan's face. "We could get out normally though; you can go take a shower, I’ll wait outside for you. That way your boss wont notice us leaving together," Phil rolled to the side, off of Dan. "We can take the train back too, I'll make sure no one follows you."

 "I don't need to shower here, I don't need to wash you off myself like I do with everyone else," Dan mumbled a little and blushed. He sat up, "I like spending time with you, but just... not here."

 Phil smiled up at Dan. "I'm glad," he said reaching up to touch Dan's back softly. "What's the plan for sneaking out then?" Phil was excited now, being able to spend the night with Dan was the most exciting thing to him. He wished he could just stay there forever.

"The plan is to go out the back," Dan said, getting up and pulling Phil up with him. Dan went to the bathroom to clean up a little before putting his normal clothes on and Phil got dressed inside the room. "Ready?" Dan asked when he had gathered his things and was ready to go.

"Yeah, lets go," Phil said calmly.

Phil just wanted to hurry and get to Dan's place so they could cuddle without worrying about time. There Phil could breathe easier and smell Dan's warm scent that wasn't being covered partially by the smell of sex and alcohol that was the club.

 Dan lead them further out the back and then out the back door. Even though it wasn't hard to sneak out, Dan was nervous. He was in plain clothes and made sure to look down so he blended in and no one noticed him, though. They started heading down the street and Dan relaxed a little and slowed his pace, looking up and smiling at Phil.

"See, easy," He didn't add that his heart was pounding through his chest still from the fear of his boss catching him.

 Phil smiled and nodded, exhaling deeply.

"Yep," He sighed and his fingers gently brushed Dan's hand as they walked toward the trains.

 Dan reached down and grabbed Phil's hand properly.

"I like spending time with you, not at work," he said swinging his hand a little.

"Yeah it's nice isn't it?" Phil said smiling, hoping Dan was starting to come around to understanding what this was between them. "You tired? or wanna make some tea? It’s still pretty early for you to sleep right?"

"Yeah it is, it's super early," Dan said smiling. "I don't mind, if you're tired and stuff we can just go sleep or whatever though,"

 They got to the train and Dan put his arm around Phil's waist, noticing some less than trust worthy looking passengers and leading him in the opposite direction,  oddly protective over him. He saw Phil as an innocent one in a world of corruption, and he felt like he had to keep Phil protected from that.

 Phil yawned and leaned a bit closer to Dan.

"Nah I'm fine, I just wanna spend time with you," Phil smiled as they took their seats.

The train took them a short distance back to Dan's apartment. Phil followed Dan inside, holding his hand closely. "Can I have some kisses?" Phil asked nipping at Dan's ear. Dan smiled and leaned up kissing Phil softly, hands going around his waist as they walked into the kitchen like that.

"I like Phil kisses," Dan mumbled against his lips before kissing him properly.

 Phil's hands roamed up Dan's chest and slowly worked over his shoulders.

"I like Dan everything," Phil said laughing a little. He deepened the kiss, pushing his tongue into Dan's mouth for a moment to get a taste of Dan.  He pulled back looking over Dan's face. "Is this ok? Am I being pushy again?"

 Dan shook his head and kissed Phil harder to prove his point, his own tongue working into Phil's mouth as his hands gripped at his hips.

"Everything's perfect," he said a little breathlessly.

Dan admitted to himself now: he enjoyed this. He enjoyed Phil far too much, but at this point he didn't care. He knew all of this was dangerous, but it felt too good to care. When he was alone he got scared, thinking of the power he was giving Phil to end up hurting him like everyone else had, but when they were together like this none of it mattered.

 Phil's arms wrapped tighter around Dan's neck as he pulled him closer, pressing their bodies closer together. They stumbled a little ending with Dan's back pressed into the counter. Phil's mind was screaming to tell Dan he loved him, but Phil knew better now. He felt it but it didn't need to be voiced. They were more comfortable like this for now.  He smiled a bit as Dan's tongue pushed against his and one of Phil's hands worked it's way into Dan's hair.

 Dan gripped at him a little tighter and pressed his body even closer to Phil. It was all still new, this insatiable want for another person like this. Just a short while ago they were in bed together and Dan was already all over him again.

"Sorry," he muttered trying to back away a little, not wanting to come across needy or anything as he had no idea how this worked.

 Phil pulled back a little, their hips still pressed together and his hand still in Dan's hair.

"Hey don't apologize," Phil said smiling and kissing Dan's forehead. "I asked you to kiss me," Phil placed a couple of soft kisses to Dan's lips before speaking again. "Wanna make some tea? We can cuddle on the couch with a movie or just talk or whatever.”

"Mhm okay," Dan said but chased Phil's lips and kissed him again. "Whatever you like," he added, a little distracted by kissing Phil to care what they chose to do.

"Cutie," Phil whispered stealing a couple more kisses and letting his arms fall down the side of Dan's body, stepping back so Dan wasn't pinned under him anymore. "If we don't stop we might go a lot further right now than we intend," Phil said pressing his forehead into Dan's and looking at him.

 Dan smiled and made the kiss softer, it felt important to let Phil know that he hadn't said yes to him staying because of sex or anything physical, that it was because he wanted him there. He just felt like not letting go of him for the night.

"That better?" he said giggling a little.

 Phil smiled and nodded.

"Let's make some tea," Phil stepped back his hands lingering on Dan's hips just a little while longer as he turned around the kitchen to try and find the things needed. he remembered a little bit of where things were. "Where do you keep the tea bags?" Phil asked.

 Dan grinned and went to the bench pulling across the container of tea bags

“Here,” he said and smiled again.

 He couldn’t shake the thought of how nice it was to see Phil in his house like this, just doing something like making a cup of tea. It felt right, and in this moment that didn’t terrify him.

 Phil leaned into the counter, tilting his head a little as he looked at Dan. Sometimes life was tough, and it felt all pointless to be trying so hard for this boy. But then the moments like this came, and they felt comfortable and natural, and Phil felt stupid sometimes for thinking it but the thoughts were in his mind that this is where he was supposed to be. They finished making their tea and Phil paid close attention to how Dan made his for future reference. Then they made their way to the couch sitting down close together.

 Dan took a sip of his tea and made a contented noise.

“It’s nice having company in this house, it’s usually so quiet with just me,” he said looking down into his tea, even though the statement said nothing it felt quite revealing.

"I like being here too, it's comfortable, plus I never liked sleeping alone. Or being alone in general," Phil said a soft smile playing on his face as he glanced to the side and then over back to Dan, he moved his arm over the back of the couch and over Dan's shoulders. "Hey look at me, I like your eyes," Phil whispered

 Dan glanced up, looked down again for a second before allowing his eyes to lock with Phil's, again it was the most simple actions that left him feeling the most vulnerable, stripped naked and doing unspeakable things with a stranger, fine. Making prolonged eye contact with Phil and feeling the butterflies in his stomach start to go crazy, terrifying.

"I like yours too," He said quietly, a small smile playing on his lips. "I used to like alone, alone was safe, now though... I like being not alone when the other option is being with you,” He lifted his hand and stroked Phil's cheekbone before smiling wider. "And it's really nice."

 Phil laughed softly and leaned forward, pressing his forehead into Dan's.

"Comfortable," he repeated.

 They cuddled on the couch sipping their tea and watching whatever was on TV until they fell asleep cuddled up on the couch. At around midnight Phil woke up with his limbs tangled in Dan's. He couldn't be bothered to move too much, so he just pulled the blanket Dan kept on the back of the couch over them and went back to sleep. Comfortable, that was what this was, but comfort like this could only last for so long. How long could things last like this before something broke loose and destroyed the calm?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ouo i brought the sex guys  
> and it's a super long chapter  
> love you guys *kisses your forehead*  
> ps. my editor is a goddess and a very through editor


	21. The Incident.

The rest of the week went by slowly, with Dan doing the same things that he always did during the week. The weekend went the same as usual, same routines, same people. Except... there was no Phil that weekend. Dan kept telling himself that that was okay; he was reasonable enough to know that Phil had a life beyond him, although his insecurities tugged at him a little throughout the night when he looked over to where Phil usually sat. What if he never came back? What if he was finally bored of Dan?

 By the next weekend he was really excited to see Phil again. He had stopped telling himself it was wrong to like Phil, he didn't care. He finally admitted to himself that he liked spending time with Phil, it was the only time he felt worth something. Those moments were precious to Dan. When he arrived at work he got pulled aside, his boss telling him that he had been booked for a home call, and it was in his best interest to take it, which basically meant he had to. So he did. He was driven there and got out and knocked on the door, hoping he could make it back on time to maybe talk to Phil for a while after.

 Phil arrived at the club, upset that he couldn't make it the week before, but with his friends bugging him to hang out there was no way he could have gone to see Dan without it being suspicious. But this week he was eager to see Dan, missing his beautiful lightly tanned skin and his stunning light brown eyes. Phil took his usual place and waited, but Dan didn't show up to dance during the performance like he usually did. Phil waited a bit longer and Dan still hadn't shown up, so he started to get really worried. Dan had said that he never missed a day of work unless he was really hurt. Feeling scared and guilty, Phil wondered if maybe he got hurt last week and it was because he didn't show up. He tried to shake those thoughts and went to the bar to find Claire.

"Where's D-Grey?" Phil asked nervously, catching himself at the right time with the wrong name.

 Claire turned around to look at Phil.

"Calm down, he's just making a house call, nothing outta the ordinary," She said casually,

"Will he be back tonight?" Phil asked feeling a bit calmer knowing Dan wasn't hurt.

"Well he has to have two clients a night, remember hun’ when he’s done with you he still has to come out here for round two. You're just gonna have to deal with being round two tonight. He might be back really late though, never know how long house calls can take," Claire moved away to take some drinks out to a table and Phil slumped into a stool at the bar. He wanted to see Dan so badly, but he would be waiting there for hours if he decided to stay. He got comfortable and ordered a drink, deciding to stay.

Dan didn't really like house calls, they made him anxious and uncomfortable, being in an unfamiliar territory. Also it worried him why the client felt the need for a house call, did they want something that was too intense for work premises? He shook the thought as the door opened and his heart dropped. It was him. The guy from the other week who had been really rough on him and called him out in front of Phil. He had a different friend with him this time, a bigger and angrier one. The image started to clear in Dan's mind and he started to understand what tonight was. He was gonna be shared between them both, and they were both big and muscular and Dan really didn't want to do this.

"Hey there," Dan said plastering a fake smile on his face and going inside. He could feel them leering at him already, greedily eyeing him up and down, planning what they wanted.

 Dan followed them to the bedroom and just sat on the edge of the bed in the dingy one room apartment and grinned at them, playing the part, enticing them. It was all second nature to him now. Then the men started to talk to him, and the tone of the night was set. They started calling him a whore and a slut, making him beg for it and act pathetic so they felt like the bigger ones. They tore Dan's clothes off viciously and took turns at fucking his face, giving him basically no warning as he spluttered but managed the best he could, thinking about other things, about being other places. They were rough with him, throwing him about, and holding him too tightly. Dan knew it was going to leave bruises, painful ones. The bigger male slapped him harshly if he didn't do something the way he wanted it. It ended up going in the same direction as last time, one fucked his mouth while one fucked his ass, no stretching of course. And Dan would be lying if he said it wasn't painful. His jaw was aching but they were relentless, he knew that if he whimpered or cried out he got hit, so he stayed silent. He just took it, feeling his self esteem slowly drip down to the floor to lay discarded like his clothes.

 Phil sat uncomfortably for a while, when other hookers approached him he would instantly tell them that he wasn't interested. He kept looking around, hoping that Dan would show up and he could just cuddle and talk for the rest of the night. Something felt so strange, last time he was waiting like this Dan was in the back room, so he knew where he was. It felt so strange not knowing that now. Just waiting, it seemed pathetic in a way, he was waiting for a hooker. Most people would say that that’s not an ideal way to spend a friday night. Phil sighed and took another drink, just wanting to wait for a couple more hours.

 Soon the men got bored of what they were doing and roughly dragged Dan up, making him ride one of them. He did so, still trying to think of other things, avoiding looking at the men. Some customers wanted him to play along, pretend to enjoy it, others didn’t give a damn. These men weren’t even bothered, they were just using Dan as something to abuse, so he didn't need to waste energy acting like he enjoyed it. He was startled from his thoughts when he was suddenly pushed forward, his head ending up by the man’s shoulders and his arms pulled back at an uncomfortable angle, rendering him useless when it came to controlling anything.

"Ah no don't d..." He started to complain about it but quickly stopped and yelped loudly as a searing pain travelled through him. He instinctively tried to move forward, to get away from it but he was held in place. "Fuck! No, stop!" He yelped again but they didn't listen.

 His eyes started to water and he suddenly figured out what was happening: he was taking in both of them, at once.

"Please don't," he gasped out, balling his hands into fists behind him as his tears ran over the man’s shoulder.

"Look we made him cry, we broke the whore," the bigger man laughed as he slammed himself in Dan hard, making Dan scream.

 And then Dan got it. This is why they weren't at the club. No one could hear him here. He just had to take it. He struggled against them, but they were too strong. Whenever he fought they hit him or yanked his arms up higher, shooting a pain through his arm. He eventually just went limp, thinking about later after this was done, about getting home and sleeping and never feeling this level of pain again. Phil kept popping into his mind, with his kind eyes, beautiful smile, and gentle touches and kisses, and he knew that he needed him. He needed him now.

 Phil was giving up, he had waited for hours and was tired and worried and time was dragging on forever. He eventually got up and sadly slumped out of the club, deciding he would come back the next day just to see Dan for a moment and tell him he missed him.

 This treatment seemed to go on forever, whenever Dan thought it would stop they would reposition him and do it again, harder. He knew he was bleeding, from various areas. He was being a rag-doll at this point. Eventually, after what seemed like years, they stopped, slapping Dan across the face then making him deep throat them again until they came. Then they threw their money at him, and told him to get out. Dan had never been in so much pain in his life. He quickly pulled his clothes on and limped out, feeling dizzy and not being able to see straight.

 The second he got outside he vomited in their bushes, calling a cab instead of the club because there was no way was he going back tonight. He could hardly even walk. He could barely speak when he was telling the cab driver his address, and he finally got to his house after many concerned looks from the driver. He went inside and just burst into tears, stripping his clothes off like they were a disease and curling up on the bathroom floor.

 "Filthy, disgusting, worthless, shitty," he repeated again and again the men’s words out loud to himself as he lay there shaking.

 He needed to get clean but he couldn't bring himself to move. He slowly reached into the pocket of his pants that were beside him and pulled his phone out, shakily dialing Phil's number. He knew it by heart even though he had never called it. He didn't know why he was calling, he just needed to hear something good in the world.

 Phil was already back home when his phone rang. He didn't recognize the number, and it was so late at night that Phil thought maybe they had the wrong number. But he decided answered it anyway, bringing the phone to his ear with a yawn.

"Hello?"

 Dan whimpered, hearing Phil's voice made him feel better and more alone at the same time.

"Phil," he whispered, sounding awful and broken. "Phil please," he said, his voice cracking and dropping out at the end.

 Phil's heart sunk when he heard Dan on the other end, knowing instantly that the customer had not been at all gentle with his Dan.

"D-Dan!? Are you alright? Where are you? Are you hurt?" The questions came out rushed because Phil was panicking. Dan had never called him before and now that he had… he sounded horrible.

 Dan felt himself start to cry again, feeling cruel for dragging Phil into this, but he was selfish and needed him.

"H-home, I'm at home," he said in barely a whisper. "Please help me I just, I just hurt," he said even quieter, the end of his sentence coming out a little distorted due to crying. He grabbed his throat, it still hurt to even talk.

 Phil swallowed hard and tried his best to not cry, to be strong for Dan.

"I'm on my way over okay? I'll be there as soon as I can," Phil already had his shoes on and heading out the door. Dan needed him, and that terrified him. "Stay on the phone with me okay? I'm coming for you."

"I'm sorry," Dan mumbled.

 He felt stupid and scared and like an idiot for calling Phil like this. As soon as Phil saw him he would see what he really was, how disgusting he was. It was confusing, because he felt like he needed Phil there so badly, but at the same time he was terrified of it. He felt the combinations of feelings come together when he had to drag himself to the toilet to vomit again, whining because it hurt his body to move and his throat to throw up. He knew Phil had had to hear him vomit; it was loud enough to go through the phone.

"I-I'm still here," he said quietly as he carefully stood up and turned the shower on. "But I need to get in the shower, I need to... I'm dirty I can't… I can't sit here like this," he said shakily.

"I know it's okay, I'll be there soon, I'm catching a cab right now. You can take a shower, it will be alright," Phil said as gently as he could. He was so scared, his mind thinking of all the worst scenarios. He got in the cab and told the driver the address.

"Okay, I’m gonna hang up. Please come. Please don't leave me," and with that he hung up and crawled into the shower, not bothering to stand and clean himself. He just let the water pour down on him, his mind blank. He curled up under the water and waited.

 The drive took way too long in Phil's head. He naturally thanked the driver, then quickly ran out to the door and knocked. There was no reply, he knocked once more louder and waited a few seconds before trying the handle. The door was unlocked. He walked in.

"Dan?" Phil called out, he heard the shower running and cautiously walked to the bathroom, pushing the door open.

 Nothing in his mind had prepared him for what he saw. Dan sitting in the tub covered in bruises and red marks. There was a bit of blood on the floor from where Dan had sat before he got in the shower. Phil swallowed hard, staring at Dan. He had to stop himself from running over to Dan and taking him in his arms, but was too afraid to startle him.

"Dan, I'm here," Phil said calmly, taking a step closer.

 Dan didn't respond, just breathed out shakily, eyes closed. He knew that Phil was right beside him but he felt far away. He couldn't bring himself to say anything. He opened his eyes and looked up at Phil, tears running down his cheeks mixing with the shower water. He didn't deserve the support of someone as perfect and pure as Phil.

 Phil slowly stepped closer and knelt down next to the tub. He put one hand out cautiously and hovered it above Dan’s shoulder, hesitating to see how Dan would respond before actually making any contact.

Dan flinched back and curled up more.

"No," he muttered and looked at the floor of the tub.

 Phil swallowed and nodded. Dan seemed to be in so much pain. He retracted his hand but still let it rest over the edge of the tub.

"Anything I can get you?" Phil asked softly, he just wanted Dan to be as comfortable as possible.

 Dan shook his head lightly but reached his hand out to take Phil’s. He needed to feel grounded and Phil was the only thing that felt real to him in that moment.

Phil gently took Dan's hand, not squeezing at all.

"I-I’m sorry," Dan breathed out, making a face as talking still hurt his throat.

"It's okay. You don't have to talk. I'm not going anywhere," Phil looked at Dan with concerned eyes.

 Dan nodded and looked up at Phil, wanting to say thank you but instead just mumbling "I'm okay," not meaning it at all.

"You don't have to be brave for me," Phil said sadly, seeing right through Dan.

'Okay' was the farthest thing from what Dan was at that moment. Although Phil didn't know what had been done to him at his house call, he could tell that Dan was not okay. He wanted Dan to open up to him, not cover it up and shrug it off.

 Dan shifted closer to Phil and leaned against the edge of the tub.

"It was… it was the guy from last time. The one that shared me with his friend and you got angry at him. It was him. With a different friend. I hate him," Dan said shakily. He knew he had to give Phil some info, he didn’t want to be unfair to Phil. Now that he didn’t have water running over him, he glanced down at himself and saw that there was still  blood so he cringed and looked away from it.

 Phil had to think for a moment to push through his good memories he had had with Dan recently to try to find a bad memory. Then he suddenly remembered. It was a while ago, but he remembered everything about that guy. Phil squeezed Dan's hand slightly, comfortingly. There was still blood coming from Dan's body, and Phil felt slightly sick. He didn't know what exactly they had done, but he didn’t like the list of ideas that his brain was giving him.

"Wow. I’m so sorry. You don’t have to talk. It’s okay, you're safe now,"  Phil said softly, caressing Dan's hand with his thumb. He wanted to wash Dan, to replace all the men’s bad touches by simply cleaning the beautiful boy.

 Dan was tightening his grip on Phil slowly and now had his hand in a death grip. He kept thinking about it, about how disgusting he was for letting it happen.

"I hate myself," he whispered leaning his head against their clasped hands.

"Don't," Phil whispered, almost begging him.  

He hadn’t done anything wrong. He had just experienced a series of misfortunes in his life but nothing was Dan's fault. Phil reached over with his other hand, wanting to touch Dan but not wanting to startle him. He looked for a safe spot and settled on the younger boy’s shoulder, then gently ran his fingertips along it.

 Dan flinched slightly but then leaned into it a little. It was Phil. Phil was good. He took a deep breath and started talking to himself out loud quietly.

"It's okay, it's Phil. Phil doesn't hurt you. You hurt him," He blinked back tears and looked at Phil, meeting his eyes properly and not looking away this time.

"You've never hurt me," Phil said gently and moved his hand to gently cup Dan's face.

 Thats how it was to Phil, although there had been plenty of times where Dan had hurt Phil. When Phil had to do things like this and be in situations where he didn't want to be, those things hurt. But they were a choice that he made for Dan. None of them were Dan's fault.

 Dan kept looking at him.

"I-I'm hurting you now," he said shakily then blinked, tears falling slowly, since he still tried to hold them back. After a few seconds he gave into them and started sobbing, his body shaking.

 Sometimes you just have to let yourself feel, running away from it just makes it worse.

"Dan," Phil said in a soft voice.

 Dan crying was the saddest thing he had ever seen. Dan sure could play the part of being confident and beautiful and cocky perfectly. But then Phil saw him like this and all he could see was a scared teenager who didn't have anywhere else to go. Phil pulled away and undid his shoes, kicking them off before stepping into the bath still fully clothed with Dan, who looked really confused. Phil sat near Dan on the wet floor of the tub, soaking his jeans.

"You're safe with me,"

 Dan sat still for a second, looking at Phil through teary eyes, then moved next to him, leaving a small trail of blood behind him on the other side of the tub. He was freezing since he had been out of the shower stream so he curled up against Phil both for warmth and comfort, still crying harshly. Phil put an arm around the boy’s thin shaking frame, caressing his naked cold arm with his hand. Dan hadn't cried like this in so long, it was like the collective pain of everything he had felt emotionally and physically over the last few years had hit him all at once. He put his head down on Phil’s chest, then turned his face so that Phil could hear him talk. He had to explain to Phil, he knew he did, or Phil would just get more and more worried. He swallowed harshly before letting the words pour out.

"I-I don't know why the-they wouldn't listen, I screamed ‘cause I cou-couldn't take them, they did it anyway and I screamed, two of them and they were big and they didn't use anything and... I hurt so bad Phil. It hurts so much," he started sobbing again. "They… they just held me there and y-yanked my arms so I had no control as they both fucked me. And I fucking cried in front of them… I'm useless and pathetic,"

 Dan's voice was still cracking but he needed to say it all now, or he wouldn’t ever tell him.

"I think th-they hurt me quite bad cause the blood," he added quietly, hiding his face from Phil and feeling shame.

 Phil put his arms around Dan tighter, a bit speechless.

"Shhh it's alright, I'm here now and they’re not," his stomach felt tight and he felt a lump in his throat.

 It was horrible. No one should be treated like that; whether he was getting paid or not, to Phil that was rape. They broke Dan's rules. Phil couldn't take this, the person he loved going through that, for work, it wasn't right. There was no reason for it anymore; now that he had Phil he didn't have to work at all if he didn't want to. Phil lightly pressed his face into Dan's hair, kissing his head.

"No one’s going to hurt you anymore,"

"Don't lie to me," Dan said quietly, surprising Phil a bit. His crying was subsiding but his body was shaking and juddering. He slowly ran his hand over his own torso and hip, touching his bruises and marks.

 Phil opened his mouth to reply, but couldn’t find any words. Dan was right, because as long as Dan worked at the club Phil had no control over Dan’s health. He could, however, keep Dan safe for the night so he justified his sentence.

"No one’s going to hurt you anymore tonight,"

"Why are people so evil?" Dan said looking up at Phil like he had all the answers. "I don't get it,"

 He was starting to feel numb now, from the combination of being cold and his thoughts getting to him. His brain was starting to block everything out but he was doing his best not to block Phil out.

"Not all people are evil, but those two definitely were," Phil ran his hand through Dan's wet hair. The poor boy had goose bumps all over his skin from being cold. "C'mere," Phil said gently, guiding Dan back under the warm streaming water. This caused Phil's pants to get even more soaked as he moved around the tub and got under the shower as well, but he didn’t care. He shifted himself and Dan so he could sit behind Dan.

 Dan liked having the water on him again, it was warm and he relaxed into it a little but he felt movement and contact behind him and scooted forward nervously.

"N-n-no," he mumbled and whimpered a little, it bringing back flashbacks of earlier in the night.

"Hey hey, it's okay, I’m sorry," Phil moved away so he was back in front of Dan.

 He put his hands up a little so Dan could see everything, knew exactly where he was. Phil scooted closer, slowly putting a hand on Dan's leg to not startle him.

"Just going to sit closer," Phil said softly putting Dan's legs over his. "Does this hurt?"

 Dan nodded but then slouched forward a bit so he wasn't leaning on his bum.

"I'm fine now," he said quietly and leaned his forehead against Phil's shoulder. "You're stupid. Your clothes are wet," he commented and smiled a little. Phil was here. It was gonna be okay even if right now everything felt awful.

 Phil smiled too, feeling the smile in Dan’s voice.

"I don't mind," He said and gently caressed his hands over Dan's back.

  Without speaking he reached over and grabbed a washcloth and the body wash and started running it smoothly across the younger boy’s back.

 Dan stayed where he was. Every so often Phil would run over an area that hurt and Dan would whimper and lean closer against Phil.

"Thank you," he said eventually.

 Phil felt bad, seeing all the discoloration on Dan's skin from evil hands that bruised  and hit him. Phil liked how much trust Dan was giving him though; it was a big leap to trust Phil this much after everything that had happened.

"Mhm," Phil replied simply, Phil's hand traveled to wash his hip and legs.

 Dan's hips where really sore but he tried not to show it. He tried to be brave for Phil and not be a baby. He sat up a little and looked at Phil, the boy who was sacrificing his night for him, sitting there wet and clothed to look after him. Dan bit his tongue to hold it back but his brain was screaming it at him. I love him, I love him, I actually love him. And he understood how Phil felt, and surprisingly it wasn’t scary.

 Phil pushed Dan's hair back as he looked at the younger boy.

"Wanna go lay down? I can make you some tea," Phil continued caressing his hand over Dan's chest now with the rag.

 Dan nodded.

"Just please don't leave," he said quietly. "I don't wanna be without you right now," he sat up a little and winced.

  He reached down and grabbed Phil’s free hand, intertwining their fingers as a silent thank you and an attempt to keep him from leaving.

"I'm not going anywhere," Phil said softly, squeezing Dan’s hand under the warm water. "I'll stay as long as you want me to,"

"Always want you," Dan said barely audibly, making Phil’s heart leap. Was he getting closer and closer to a confession from Dan, about how he felt?

"Need to get out of here," Dan started to stand up all of a sudden, gritting his teeth as pain shot through him due to the movement. He wanted to be warm and just look at Phil for as long as he was allowed to.

 "Let me help you," Phil said, helping support the younger boy get up and step out of the bath.

 Phil's clothing leaked and squished against the tile floor when he stepped out. It was uncomfortable, but he did what he needed to do.

 Dan let Phil help him, grabbing towels out of the towel rack and handing one to Phil.

"Wet clothes, not good, take them off you can wear some of mine," He said coughing as his throat still didn't want him to talk a lot.

 He started drying himself but it was a laborious task in his current state. He leaned against the wall a little for more support, wincing every so often at the roughness of the toweling against his raw skin.

"Just relax, I'll take care of you," Phil said throwing his towel over his shoulder and taking Dan's from him.

 He kneeled in front on Dan and caressed the towel over his stomach and hips, slowly working his way up and eventually standing up so he was at eye level with him. He put the towel over Dan's head and gently padded his hair.

 Dan made a small agreeing sound and let Phil dry him, watching him without speaking. When he was relatively dry he mumbled another thank you.

"Don't wanna wear clothes, will hurt," he mumbled. "Clothes for you in the drawers in my room," he added and moved towards his room with Phil’s help, not caring that he was naked. Moving was slow and painful but he wanted the softness of his bed after his rough day. He also wanted Phil to be there with him, to hold him and make everything okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry


	22. To Love, and be Loved in Return

Phil helped Dan walk to the bed and lay down.

"I'll be with you in a second, I'm just getting undressed," Phil said stepping back and walking over to Dan's wardrobe.

       It was nice that they were roughly the same size and could share clothes. He peeled off the wet clothing and it dropped heavily to the floor.

"Want me to make you some tea, or coffee, or anything, when I’m done?" He asked Dan, drying himself off with the towel Dan had given him earlier,

As Phil was pulling up a dry pair of Dan’s pants, he looked at the other boy, noticing the discoloration on his face. Phil finished dressing and stepped closer to the bed, sitting on the edge.

"Tea might help my throat," Dan said touching the area of skin around his eye and cheekbone and wincing. "Then can you please come in bed with me?" He said, really quietly.

       He was afraid that Phil would say no; that he wouldn't want to occupy the same space as someone as gross as  him. He met Phil's eyes and wordlessly begged Phil not to say no, he didn't want to break down again.

       Phil smiled gently at him.

"Of course I will," he said softly and got up to go to the kitchen.

It didn’t take him long to find everything he needed to make tea. He remembered that Dan took his coffee really sweet, so he made Dan's tea the same way. He picked up the cup and walked back to the room carefully. He saw Dan and smiled again, wanting the younger boy to feel comfortable.

"I'm back," Phil announced, walking around the bed to hand the cup to Dan. "Careful holding the cup, it’s hot."

       Dan smiled and took the cup, propping himself up with pillows so he could lean against them.

"Thank you," he said, smiling at Phil softly.

       He pulled the covers back a little bit for Phil  and looked at him a little nervously, he didn't know why he had this sudden fear of everything, it's not like Phil had ever ran off or rejected him before.Phil walked back around the bed and crawled under the covers with Dan.

"You don't have to be afraid of me, I'm not going anywhere," Phil said softly and scooted next to Dan, not cuddling with him yet, waiting for him to take that initiative.

"I just, I don't know why you would want to stay," Dan said quietly, sipping his tea, instinctively leaning closer to Phil. "The tea is helping," his throat already felt a little more relaxed from the warm liquid.

"I don't know why you don't know, I've said it plenty of times," Phil said smiling slightly. He played with the fabric on Dan's bed, relaxing a bit more as he felt Dan move closer to him. "I love you."

       Dan turned and met Phil's eyes and he so badly wanted to say it back but refrained, no matter how overwhelming the urge was. He thought that his eyes probably told most of the story regardless. He nodded, and sipped his tea again.

"I know you do," he said softly. Adding in his mind "and I you" but not verbalizing it, not yet. He finished the tea and put the cup down, scooting closer to Phil and instantly curling into him.

       Phil smiled. Dan had finally acknowledged it, that Phil did love him. He didn't shrug it off or tell him not to or lie; he just accepted it. Phil put his arms around Dan and snuggled next to him, making sure to not put his arms too tightly around the delicate boy. He placed a soft kiss to Dan's forehead, hoping it wouldn't startle him.

       Dan's heart was racing from the need to say it, but he was swallowing it down for now.

"You're perfect, thank you for being here. I would have just stayed on the floor if you hadn't come, you're the best thing in my life," Dan said it all quietly, but loud enough for Phil to hear, and cuddled closer into Phil, his hands gripping onto his own shirt that Phil was wearing. He slid his hands under the fabric, wanting to feel the skin and be closer. He shuffled himself down a little and dipped his head under the t-shirt, resting his head against Phil's chest. It probably seemed childish but he didn't care. He felt safe.

       Phil tightened his arms around Dan, just wanting to protect him from everything, wanting to never let him go back to the club, or out in the world. He just wanted to keep him safe and beautiful.

"I've got you," Phil whispered, the terrible visual of Dan sitting on the shower floor still in his head.

       It was quiet for a few minutes, Dan's brain was in overdrive. He kissed Phil's skin softly to get Phil's attention and closed his eyes, deciding to stop thinking, to just say whatever naturally came out when he spoke.

"Phil?" He said it in almost a whisper, feeling a little bit protected by his cocoon of Phil's shirt. "Phil?.. I um. I love you. I love you." he was shaking; he had never said that to anyone before, and it made somehow him panic and calm down at the same time.

       He was waiting for Phil's reaction impatiently. He released the breath that he realized he had been holding, his hand trying to find Phil's hand out of his little hiding place.

       Phil smiled widely and lifted his collar to peek down at Dan. Letting go of his collar and letting Dan be hidden again, he put his arm back around Dan more lovingly.

"I know you do," he whispered in almost the same tone that Dan had before and caressed Dan's back gently through the fabric, trying not to press too hard into the bruised skin.

       He couldn't keep the smile off his face. Dan had said it, he really had finally said what Phil had been trying to get him to realize since they had started this thing between them. Although the ‘thing’ was still undefined, they had loved each other for a while now. Phil was just the one who felt safe to say it before.

"I love you so much Dan," Phil said, tilting his face down to get closer as he said it. "So, so much,"

       He felt like crying. The whole thing was awful; he had seen the person he loved get humiliated and held his hand through it. Then he saw the aftermath of his Love getting sexually abused, and he just wanted it all to stop. He just wanted them to lay together forever, without any interruptions.

       Dan was grinning now, even though he was in pain and had had what was probably the second worst day of his life. He was grinning because he was loved, and he loved back.

"I love you," he said again, still grinning. He moved down and stopped hiding, leaning on Phil's chest above his shirt now and looking at him straight in the eyes.

"I do, I love you," he wanted to say it looking at him, to prove it some how.

       Phil laughed softly.

"I believe you," he said, cupping Dan's face gently, running his fingers delicately across the bruised cheekbones. "I love you too," Phil still had a lump in his throat that only swelled when he looked at Dan, he was too perfect to be treated so poorly. "You're beautiful," Phil said softly.

       Dan pulled one of Phil's hands around from his cheek to his lips and kissed it.

"You're perfect," He said softly. "Thank you for not giving up on me,"  

       He cuddled back down against Phil's chest, listening to his heart beat and letting it calm him. When he was with Phil like this it was as if everything was okay, he almost forgot all the shitty stuff.

"I'll never give up on you," Phil whispered and closed his eyes, content to have Dan safe now.

       He liked the way Dan's lips felt so delicate against his fingers so he kept playing with Dan's lips as the younger boy rested his head into his chest.

       Dan kept placing little kisses on Phil's fingertips when they brushed over his lips.

"You are the only place I ever remember feeling truly safe," he said glancing back up at Phil. "I didn't know I could, and if  I was allowed to, but I do, I feel safe now."

       Phil peeked his eyes open at Dan.

"I'm glad you feel safe with me," his hand rested on Dan’s shoulder. "You can go to sleep if you want, I'm not going anywhere."

       Dan nodded and moved to lay down beside Phil, resting his head on Phil’s shoulder. He was still wincing when he moved but smiled at Phil almost apologetically for doing so; he didn't want to keep reminding Phil that he was in pain.

"G'night," Dan said sleepily and nuzzled against Phil's shoulder with the bruise-less part of his face. He found Phil's hand and lifted it up so it was sitting on Dan's sore cheekbone, making Dan feel comforted.

"Night," Phil whispered and kissed the top of Dan's head.

       The younger boy’s skin was so soft and warm. Warm was a good word to describe Dan, Phil thought to himself and placed one more kiss as he let Dan fall asleep on his shoulder.  Phil waited till Dan was sleeping heavily before he moved, slowly squirming out from under Dan and resting him gently into the pillow. He kissed Dan’s lips softly and got up, heading towards the bathroom. He searched the cabinet for some cleaning supplies and began scrubbing the bathroom floor.

       Dan slept comfortably for about an hour; it was a dreamless sleep as his body started to recover from the trauma of the evening. After an hour or so, however, he started to dream and he was back there… where the men were pushing him around and he couldn't get out. He whimpered lightly in his sleep and reached out, searching, but not being able to find Phil. He didn’t seem to be able to wake up yet either, though.

       Phil scrubbed the blood stains off the floor; they had dried up and were leaving behind a slight brown stain but he was determined to remove them as quickly as possible so Dan wasn’t reminded of the memory. He was quietly working when suddenly it dawned on him: Dan had said that the men hadn’t used anything. Dan always had a rule to wear a condom but these men didn't and they had made Dan bleed. His mind put two and two together and he decided that it was best to get Dan tested for HIV. He swallowed and scrubbed harder at the floor, wanting to let his anger out.

       Dan whimpered a little louder, wanting his dream -the men- to stop. He almost panicked in his sleep and woke up suddenly, and sitting up straight, instantly yelping and recoiling as he forgot about the pain and hurt himself. He looked around but couldn't see Phil. Had he left, after all that?

"Phil? Phil?! Phil!" Dan yelled starting to get more and more panicked. He didn't want to be alone. Not tonight, not ever. He didn't want Phil to have abandoned him.

       Phil heard Dan calling for him and the pain in his voice. He hopped up and scrambled out the bathroom door to Dans room.

"What, are you alright?" Phil was a bit panicked and quickly crawled onto the bed. "I'm right here, it's okay," Phil's heart was racing, hearing Dan call out for him that way gave him bad memories.

       Dan moved again uneasily. He reached out and pulled Phil closer and pushed his face against Phil's neck, breathing him in.

"I-I thought you left, I dreamed I was back there, and I woke up and you were gone and I didn't know what to do, please don't leave me," his breath was a little shaky, but it slowly started to even out again now that Phil was close.

“It’s okay, you’re right here, you’re alright,” Phil said as he rocked Dan back and forth slightly.

"Why are your hands all wet?" Dan commented noticing the odd angle Phil was holding his hands at and the fact that they were wet.

"I was just washing the floor," Phil said trying to dry his hand on his pants before wrapping his arms around Dan. "But that’s not important. You're not there, you're here with me, you're safe, I've got you," Phil whispered and kissed the top of Dan's head.

       Dan cuddled in closer to him and shuddered a little. Phil had been cleaning up his blood.

"Sorry if I scared you," he mumbled. Phil had looked scared when he ran in, he knew how lucky he was to have someone like him. "I love you, I'm sorry," he repeated.

       Phil sighed and smiled to himself.

"I love you too," it was still fantastic, hearing Dan say that to him. "And I'm fine," he said, holding Dan closer. Suddenly it occurred to him that Dan had to go back to work the next day so he asked, "Can I borrow your phone?"

"Yeah?" Dan said a little questioningly but handed it over anyway as he had put it under the pillow. He no longer had anything to hide from Phil so didn't mind him having access to his phone.

       Phil casually unlocked Dan's phone and searched through the contacts. He didn't have many. He hit call on Claire's name and held the phone to his ear..

"Hey Claire, it's Phil, Grey's okay," Phil gave a sad glance over to Dan. "Just uh, he won’t be able to come into work for a few weeks," Phil saw Dan's mouth start to open, and he  gently placed a couple of fingers over Dan's lips to silence him. "Yeah just uh...yeah, yeah, thanks, I will, bye," Phil hung up the phone and looked back at Dan.

       Dan made a pouting face.

"Phil! I can't not go to work for a few weeks! They will never allow it. What did Claire say?" He secretly appreciated it of course; he didn't want to call his boss, and he knew Claire would make sure his boss didn't bother him now, but he didn't want her to worry either.

"There is no way you're going back there in the state you’re in," Phil guided Dan back to laying down and snuggled with him. "Claire will talk to your boss and say it is physically impossible for you to come into work." Phil pushed Dan's hair out of his face,. "She asked what happened but I didn't know what to say so she moved on. I didn't know if you would want her to know.”

"I don't want people to know," Dan said quietly. "It's bad, it makes me look disgusting," he muttered and cuddled closer into Phil. "Thank you for sorting things out, you're brilliant," he said sounding sleepy again

Phil sighed and patted Dan's head. "Go back to sleep lovely, I'm not going anywhere."

"M'kay just stay," Dan muttered as he fell asleep again, obviously needing time to recover, both mentally and physically.

       Once Dan was back asleep Phil quickly cleaned the rest of the bathroom and put away the cleaning supplies. He went back to the bedroom and crawled back into bed with Dan, snuggling around him. Phil kissed Dan’s head softly before falling asleep himself.

       Dan cuddled back against Phil in his sleep, feeling content with him close, knowing unconsciously that no one could hurt him as long as he was there with Phil.

       Phil didn't sleep well, he kept having terrible dreams of Dan being hurt and Phil having to sit back and watch. He kept waking up in the middle of the night slightly startled, but then feeling Dan in his arms and falling back asleep.

       Finally when he woke up it was morning, he could see the sun creeping in through the window. He reached over Dan to the nightstand and grabbed Dan’s phone to check the time. 2pm. Phil set the phone back down and snuggled up with Dan. He was far too comfortable and it wasn’t like they had anywhere to be.

     Dan woke up not long afterwards. He opened his eyes without any movement and looked at Phil, who was smiling down at him.

"Hey," he said quietly then winced a little as it hurt, last night coming back to him. He tried to push the memories out and think about his day with Phil.

     He didn't want to get up yet, he was scared of how much he would hurt; even when he was lying down every muscle in his body felt tensed.

"Hey baby," Phil said and kissed Dan's forehead. "You don't have to move yet," he whispered and gently caressed Dan's back, feeling the muscles all tense up beneath his fingertips. "Want me to make you some coffee?"

"Yes please," Dan said, yawning and smiling a little at Phil calling him baby. Dan kissed the closest part of Phil which happened to be his arm before adding, "Did you sleep okay? I hope I didn't make your sleep all messed up," pouting a little.

"Yeah, it was fine," Phil lied, not wanting Dan to worry. Phil pried himself away from Dan as he said, "I'll be right back love, you just relax," and reached over Dan to grab the mug from last night before heading to the kitchen.

     Dan watched him walk away, thinking about how perfect he was and wondering how he ended up with someone so wonderful caring about him. That was the last thought he had before he accidentally fell back asleep before Phil had returned.

     Phil took fifteen minutes to make the coffees and walked back to the room.

"Dan I'm b-" Phil stopped and smiled softly, seeing the younger boy asleep again.

     It was too cute. He walked over and gently set the mugs on Dan's nightstand before sitting down on the bed. He reached over and started tracing the features on Dan's face, pushing his hair aside. He couldn't help but be in complete awe looking at the younger boy, even with all the bruises. Phil leaned down and gently brushed his lips against Dan's, then pulled away slowly.

"Dan?" he said quietly. "Don't wanna sleep all day do ya?"

"Mm awake," Dan mumbled and stretched a little before looking up at Phil. He eased himself into a sitting position, leaning to the side a little to distribute his weight away from where he was sore.

     Phil wished he could do something to make the bruises go away, but that was something that had to take time to heal. He felt like everything would just take a lot of time to heal.

"I made you coffee," he said smiling and picking up Dan's mug to hand it to him.

"Thank you," Dan said softly and took a sip, closing his eyes. "Mmm, you make nice  coffee," he said and pulled Phil closer by his wrist. "Thank you for last night, staying and stuff.”

     Phil leaned forward and kissed the top of Dan's head.

"I'll always be there for you," Phil crawled over Dan so he was sitting on the bed again, then reached across him to grab his coffee. He had no sense of personal space with Dan, and he had no reason to since their first encounter had invaded that bubble already.

     Dan liked how neither him nor Phil seemed to have proximity limits with each other, Phil just crawled over him and Dan wasn't even remotely phased, it was good like that, comfortable. He nodded in response to Phil's comment, hoping he wouldn't need to be to this extent again, never wanting anything like that to ever happen again.

     Phil took a sip of his coffee, "I'm not leaving by the way, like at all, today," Phil scooted a bit closer and put his arm around Dan and tilted his face to snuggle into Dan's neck softly, still treating Dan like he was delicate. "I really want to take care of you for a while, so please don't kick me out,” he pleaded. If Dan would let him, Phil would stay forever, but at least for the next two weeks Phil wanted to be there for Dan, he wanted to buy his groceries and cook for him, help wash him, and hold him while he fell asleep.

"I won’t kick you out, don’t worry," Dan said softly. "I like it when you’re here," he added as he sipped his coffee. "I just don't wanna be a burden on you."

"I wouldn't wanna be anywhere else but here," Phil said softly. It felt nice how much Dan was trusting him, and relying on him.

     Dan smiled and didn't say anything, staying silent for a while. There was nothing to say in this moment, there was just a mutual appreciation in the air for each other. Perhaps ideally under different circumstances, but Dan was genuinely happy that Phil had come into his life, and when he thought about Phil, things hurt less. Both physically and mentally. Phil made Dan better.

When Phil finished his coffee he set it on the side table.

"How you feeling?" It was a stupid question, but he didn't know what else to say, he just wanted to check in constantly, know if anything was hurting less. He was still afraid that the younger boy would shut him out.

" 'm okay," They both knew he wasn't, but it was lie designed to make both of them feel better.

     Dan's empty coffee cup was still in his hands so he set it on the table next to Phil's and glanced at him, giving him a little (slightly false) smile.

     Phil sighed softly and shifted down on the bed.

"C'mere," he said opening his arms for Dan to come cuddle.

     They needed a lot of time and they knew that. This wasn't something that Dan could just shake off overnight. He wanted to hold the younger boy close again, and he knew that the best way to heal him physically was through a lot of sleep. Dan appreciatively crawled back closer to Phil and cuddled into the gap Phil's arms made, nuzzling against him a little then flinching a little because his face hurt. He thought about his options and settled for giving Phil a hug, staying close, and leaning his body against him lightly.

     Phil stared down at Dan's face, the bruises only seemed to be looking worse than before. Judging by Dan's pained face, they hurt too.

"You should sleep again, there's nothing you need to do today so get all the sleep you want."

"I need to stay awake and talk to you, cause that makes me feel better," Dan said quietly and smiled then lifted a hand to his own face. "Does it look really bad?" He asked, softly averting his eyes.

     Phil grabbed Dan's hand and moved it away gently.

"It looks painful, but you're still beautiful," Phil kissed Dan's fingers softly. "And of course we can talk, your choice."

     For some reason this reminded Phil of their first time together, they were in bed and Phil was wanting to talk to learn more about the younger boy. However the sexual air wasn't there. Just calm.

     Dan turned and laid against Phil's chest with the side of his face that didn't hurt. He kept his fingers near Phil's mouth and played with his lips while getting small kisses on them from Phil.

"Talk to me about something, I don't care what. What are you thinking about?"

"You said you loved me," Phil said smiling, surprised at himself for being able to pick out the one good thing going through his mind.

     He answered Dan’s question in his mind quickly, truthfully: Trying to push out all the bad thoughts like getting Dan tested. Wanting to beat the crap out of the scums who hurt Dan. How broken the younger boy looked. Instead of all this he had highlighted the good part in his mind. Dan said he loved him.

     Dan smiled.

"Yes I did," He knew Phil wasn't just thinking about that, he was most likely thinking a lot of things but Dan liked this topic, it was happy and distracted him from the terrible things.

"Say it again," Phil said softly moving his hand to run through Dan's hair.

     When Dan was so hurt like this it was nice to see smiles, so Phil was glad that he gained one from the younger boy. Blushing and biting his lip, Dan met Phil's eyes properly.

"I love you," He said, keeping the eye contact locked and reaching his hand out for Phil's. "A lot, I really do.”

"I love you too," Phil took Dan's hand and intertwined their fingers.

     It made him feel better hearing that from Dan again. The younger boy had felt it for a while, Phil was sure of that, but finally being able to voice it is a big step.

"I like saying that, It's new and I like it," Dan said smiling. "I wanna sleep again now," he yawned as if to animate his point and snuggled down next to Phil again. "Stay?"

"I'm not going anywhere, promise," Phil said softly petting Dan's hair out of his eyes. "Go to sleep loved one. Don't worry.”

     Dan nodded sleepily, his body and brain exhausted again as he let sleep take over him. Phil gently snuggled next to Dan, resting his face into the younger boy’s soft hair.

"I love you so much," Phil whispered, allowing himself to relax and just cuddle while Dan slept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ouo does this make up for last week?
> 
> PS!! New chapter will be posted on saturday instead of thursday!! there is an american holiday this week and myself and my editor need the couple extra days to get the chapter ready. Do not panic, and please calmly tell anyone you do see panicking to not panic


	23. Your Song

Dan slept soundly for a few hours, dreamless and content against Phil. But then he started to have bad dreams again. They were there in his flat; they had found him and wanted to hurt him again. He couldn't find Phil even though he was screaming and yelling. Then the men started to hit him and he heard Phil laughing in the background... Phil had betrayed him.

"N-no.. no," He mumbled out loud, twitching and jumping, his hand gripping onto Phil's wrist without realizing it.

Phil was still awake when Dan started to twitch. He tried pulling the boy closer with the arm that was under Dan. He let Dan cling to his wrist.

"Shh it’s okay Dan, I'm right here," he whispered trying to comfort the younger boy.

Dan tensed up more, in his dream he could hear Phil but couldn't see him, and he was laughing at him. He wasn't helping him, he was letting these men hurt him, the dream quickly turned into a repeat of that night, and the pain felt real thanks to his memories. He whined and flinched and closed his eyes tightly.

"H-help, why aren't you helping me?" He said in his dream to Phil, which in reality came out as, "help.. why.... me.”

Phil moved his wrist away from Dan to try and nudge him awake.

"Dan, come on, wake up, its just a nightmare. Dan," Phil shook him gently by the shoulder, not wanting Dan to panic when he woke up.

In Dan’s dream things got progressively worse: the men hurt him more and he was pretty much reliving the experience, apart from Phil watching. He yelled at Phil to help him, to take him somewhere safe, but Phil just stood there. Eventually Phil moved forward and Dan thought he was going to help, but he slapped him across the face.

"You're a whore, why would I help you? This is how people treat whores," He spat at him and walked away. Both dreamland Dan and reality Dan started to cry.

Phil started to panic and moved so he was almost sitting on Dan, shaking his shoulders. "Dan. Dan, come on, wake up, it’s just a dream you're okay," Phil cupped Dan's face trying his best to soothe him, but he was getting scared.

Dan jumped and sat up as he woke, wincing and wiping his tears.

"G-get away from me," He said sounding scared as he scooted away from Phil up the bed, looking at Phil like he was evil.

That scared Phil even more, the way Dan was looking at him was different then he had ever seen.

"Dan, it's okay, it's me, you're okay..." he said moving his hand out to try and gently touch Dan's face again.

Dan's leg went forward and kicked a little at Phil to get him to stop coming forward, and in this moment he was terrified. He was blurring reality to his dream and right now seeing Phil was just was bad as seeing those men in his apartment, and it terrified him waking up naked beside him in his current state of mind.

"Don't touch me," He said sounding scared but angry. "Everyone touches me enough. I don't want it, just don't fucking touch me," he basically yelled scooting further away. His hands were shaking and he couldn't stop them. He was scared.

"Okay," Phil said backing up. "Okay, I won't," he moved back more trying to give Dan his space.

Phil hadn't done anything wrong, but clearly something in his nightmare had upset the other. He kept his eyes on Dan, the younger boy looked so scared and small and broken. Phil wanted so badly to pull him back to him.

"I'm not gonna hurt you..."

Dan was crying silently, looking around, confused.

"Just don't...Don't touch me, don't hit me again. I can't take it. I won't," he muttered as he gripped onto the headboard of the bed to ground himself and try work things out but everything was blurry and hurt and he was trying to get safe.

"I don't...why would you... I don't," He almost fell off the edge of the bed but then stood up. "Just don't come near me," he said moving back a little, acting like he was trapped and stuck and although Phil would never see him be put in a cage, Dan felt like he was in one right now

"I've never hit you Dan. It's me, Phil. Phil doesn't hurt you," Phil tried his best to keep his voice calm, but it was shaking slightly. He kept his eyes focused on Dan's, trying to meet his eyes.

"You did, you watched them, and laughed and hit me," He said stumbling around a little, he was trying to get further away but it hurt, and he was trying not to limp. "This is how whores are treated," he muttered more to himself than Phil but loud enough so that Phil would hear. "Worthless," he muttered.

His body shuddered visibly from both the physical shock of being up and moving, and the extreme range of emotions that he was feeling right now, confusion and hurt topping the list.

"Dan, stop, you’re going to hurt yourself," Phil couldn't help but move forward to try and help the hurt boy to his bed again. "Dan please," Phil said softly, "I didn't hurt you.”

Dan moved quicker.

"No don't," he said backing himself up against the nearest wall, looking at Phil. "Don't, please not anymore... I don't wanna hurt anymore I just want to be normal," he said tears streaming down his face. "Just make me normal, please.”

His energy was dropping and he slid down the wall, bringing his knees up to his chest and flopping sideways because sitting up hurt.

"Make it stop, I can't stop thinking about it, about them hurting me, I am just a glorified sex toy I don't matter,"

He was sobbing into his hands and his words blurring into each other a little. Phil stepped slowly over to Dan and sat next to him, but he didn't make a single effort to touch him.

"You matter to me," he said softly, pausing, "You're the most important person in my life Dan, I don't have anyone else that I care deeply about but you,"  he slowly put a hand on Dan's shoulder, careful not to touch him too firmly.

Dan reached out to Phil and pulled him closer, as he was coming back to reality with Phil’s words. He felt tired and exhausted and embarrassed and just wanted Phil to hold him.

"I'm sorry," He whispered.

Phil leaned forward slightly and lifted Dan to lay the younger boy’s head on his lap.

"It's alright, I've got you," Phil whispered and took Dan’s hand. "You're safe now, it's okay,"

Dan squeezed Phil's hands and crawled into Phil's lap more, one arm going around Phil's neck and clinging to him.

"I'm gonna scare you away if I don't get it together," he said quietly and sniffing.

"Nah, I'm not going anywhere," Phil put his other arm around Dan. "Let me help you back to bed, you shouldn't be moving around."

He was relieved that that episode was over, and that Dan had returned to seeking comfort from him instead of pushing him away.

"I'm sorry," Dan said again, shaking worse than before, "For pushing you away… I kicked you didn't I? I kicked you, fuck I'm so sorry," Dan said clinging more but not moving yet.

Phil caressed Dan's back gently, "It's okay, I'm fine, it didn't hurt," Phil said and tilted his face down to kiss Dan's head.

It was more of a push than a kick, but Dan was still not thinking straight, so he was blowing it out of proportion in his head.

"No it’s not. Cause they hurt me and I hate them, If I hurt you you will hate me, and I don't wanna hurt people, and I don’t want you to hate me," Dan said quietly and leaned his head up into Phil's kiss. "I love you, thank you for not running away from me. I'm so messed up."

"I love you too, it's okay, don’t worry Dan you didn't hurt me. I promise, I’m okay." Phil tightened his arm around Dan for a moment then loosened his grip when he remembered all the bruises.

Dan didn't even notice any pain. He was so tired again, he was almost falling asleep where they were sitting.

"Bed," he said quietly, and then the pain kicked in. "I shouldn't have moved. Everything feels worse now.”

"It's alright, it will heal eventually," Phil said, struggling to lift himself and Dan up at the same time.

He helped Dan limp back to the bed and sat him down. Dan got under the covers straight away, embarrassed at how exposed he was and at his antics.

"Embarrassed," he said quietly, cheeks going red and eyes watering up a little as he glanced away from Phil. "I didn't want you to ever see me like this, I wanted you to think I was better than this.”

"You are better than this, but everyone has their downhills," Phil pulled the covers up more to make Dan more comfortable. He sat on the edge of the bed and pet Dan's hair. "Anything I can get you?"

Dan shook his head, eyes already closed and starting to slip back into sleep, wanting to forget about his outburst and just focus on healing.

 

When sunday came Phil felt a bit guilty because he didn't want to leave Dan alone, but he couldn't call off work the day before the radioshow. The day went slowly and quietly, with both Dan and Phil in bed most of the time. At dawn, Phil helped Dan over to the couch and set him up with the Tv and put his laptop down next to him. He finished making dinner for the younger boy and set it on the side table.

"I'm sorry I have to go, I promise I'll be back as soon as I can, but that probably won't be till 10:30. Are you gonna be okay?" Phil asked cautiously, sitting down next to Dan and putting an arm around him.

Dan leaned into him and smiled.

"I will be fine Phil. Honestly you have set me up with everything I could need, it’s perfect. I have one more small thing to ask for though," He said smiling softly and playing with Phil's hand. He looked really good right now, Dan didn't know why he just couldn't stop looking at Phil. "Set the computer up to your station so I can listen to it?"

Phil smiled brightly, excited to see that Dan wanted to listen and see what he did at work.

"Really!?" He said but opened Dan's computer up excitedly and started typing in the url to the website. "You're gonna see me make a total fool of myself,"  Phil laughed a little and set the laptop down. "Okay, it starts at 7, it's visual too so you can watch," Phil leaned over to Dan and kissed him softly. "I'll be back soon, I love you."

"Love you too," Dan said smiling and kissing back, then he watched Phil leave and smiled to himself.

He completely trusted Phil, he had no doubts that he would come back now, he didn't think he would abandon him anymore.

Phil hopped in a cab and drove off to the radio studio. He was really happy, thinking about how when he got ‘home’ Dan was waiting for him instead of an oversized empty apartment that he only bought to try and cope after his parents’ death. Dan's place was much more cozy, even the kitchen and lounge felt like home.

Phil's radio show started and he began chatting up the people on the phone and dancing while their music played. He couldn't help but smile and look at the camera more than usual, knowing that Dan was watching him. However he kept fumbling all the names of the songs.

Dan ate his dinner and by the time he was done it was seven o'clock. He grinned as Phil started moving on his screen, talking and laughing and being adorably just Phil. He lay down with his computer next to him and watched the show for a while and then it dawned on him. He wanted Phil to be his. He wanted to belong to Phil. He wanted to have that comfort that they had each other no matter what and even though they were already like that, he had this overwhelming need to put a label on their love. To make it official. He came up with a plan and dialed the request number. His hands were shaking, but this time it wasn’t fear. It was excitement.

Phil had lowered the music so he could answer the call.

"We have Greyson on the line here who would like to request a song, hello Greyson," Phil said casually into the mic, unknowing that the Greyson on the phone was his Dan.

"Hello," Dan said cheerfully, waiting for Phil to ask him what song and if he would like to dedicate it to anyone.

He was watching Phil on his screen, volume low. It was a little delayed but he would still get to see his reaction and was curious how long it would take Phil to figure out it was him.

"Whatchu been up to today?" Phil asked casually, doing his usual routine when talking to callers.

Dan grinned and kept watching Phil on his screen.

"Hmm not a lot really, having a lazy day. Got dinner made for me which was nice, and now watching the radio show," he sounded like he was smiling and he couldn’t help it.

Phil's heart lept for a moment, hearing the boy on the phone talk more and thinking if it could be Dan. He looked up right at the camera, just for a second. He knew Dan was watching him right now, and felt a bit self-conscious suddenly. It could be Dan, he thought. But if it wasn’t, he would sound stupid to Dan back at home.

"Ah that's nice, what did you eat?" Phil asked. He only had a small amount of time to chat with the callers before he had to ask what song, so he wanted to make the most of it.

Dan saw Phil look up at the camera and smirked at his question. He was checking to see if it was Dan.

"Chicken stir fry served up to me on the couch. It was super yum," he kept it casual but trying to give as much info as he could to Phil to prove it was him or else this plan wouldn't work.

Phil couldn't hide his smile, he was sure it was Dan now, or else that would be a lot of weird coincidences.

"That's my favorite thing to cook. Anyway Greyson, what song would you like me to play?" Phil asked, still smiling.

Dan grinned and bit his lip: Phil knew it was him.

"It's a bit different to everything else you have played tonight but can I get 'Your Song' from Moulin Rouge? And can I dedicate it?" He was intently watching Phil on his screen who had a smile on his face constantly which made Dan feel a flutter, happy feeling in his chest and made his own face match Phil's smile.

Phil nodded happily, "Of course you can, who would you like to dedicate this song to?" Phil asked, honestly expecting to hear his name at this point.

There was no one else in Dan's life who he would dedicate a song to. Dan was quiet for a moment, trying to make his lips form the words. He had already decided how he wanted to word this, but he was really nervous now. What if Phil didn't want to be his boyfriend properly? He shook the thought and started to talk.

"Well, I would like to dedicate it to my... boyfriend, because I've had a really tough few days, and he has been so amazing about everything and I am really lucky to have a partner who is so caring and kind. I just really wanted him to know that," Dan was blushing and staring at Phil on the screen, wanting to see his reaction and cursing the small lag.

Phil's heart was beating overtime as his cheeks flushed, hearing Dan actually refer to him as his boyfriend. He wanted him for more than just gentle sex.

"I'm sure he feels just as strongly about you," Phil said, smiling and looking at the camera." All right D-Greyson, here ya go, this is Your Song from Moulin Rouge.”

He switched songs and turned the volume up. He felt fidgety, Dan could still see him and watch his every action, so he was just looking down, pretending to do something with the keys.

Dan grinned and his hands went to his cheeks. He just felt so happy. He couldn't get the grin off of his face. Did this mean Phil was his? He was. He was his. He kept watching Phil happily.

Phil suddenly looked up and made a heart to the camera, and then pointed at it to say ‘I love you.’

Dan's grin got wider at the heart and he touched the screen instinctively. He wanted Phil to come back now, he was nervous but excited about what he was going to say to him. He sang along to the song quietly, really relating the lyrics to how he felt about Phil, hoping that Phil knew that.

Phil swayed softly mouthing the words to the song as he set things up for the next activity. His heart was still fluttering as he heard the words in the song.

"How wonderful life is, now you’re in the world," He smiled more and started rubbing his cheeks. They hurt from smiling so much.

He couldn't wait now to run home to see that beautiful boy. His Dan, Dan was his boyfriend, he said it himself. He hopped a little excitedly, not even caring that Dan could see him.

Dan giggled at how happy Phil was, and felt a few tears slip down his cheeks. For the first time in his life he was, and felt, really loved. And he knew how it felt to love someone. He had someone who was his. A sanctuary. He felt like he was worth something.

After the show the producers did their usual thing of inviting Phil out for drinks. He always went along, but this time Phil declined because he wanted to see Dan again. He hopped in a taxi and road to what he now proudly called home, trying to stop himself from bouncing. when he got to the door he fumbled with the key slightly (that he took from Dan when he left the apartment).

He opened the door and sneaked inside.

"Dan?" he called out, stepping into the apartment and slipping off his shoes so he could run over to the lounge.

Dan was still on the couch and when he heard Phil enter he couldn't help but grin.

"I'm where I was when you left," he said softly, feeling a little anxious again even though he knew there wasn't going to be be any rejection.

Phil smiled and crawled onto the couch over Dan, still careful not to be too rough with him, but he started covering his face with kisses.

"I love you so much," he whispered placing more kisses. "That was the best radioshow ever, I love you."

Dan giggled and let his arms drape over Phil's shoulders.

"I love you too, really. Was it okay? I didn't know if I was overstepping. I was just watching and it dawned on me that I want it, all of it, you, with me, a proper thing," He blushed. "I want to be yours, and for you to be mine."

"It was perfect," Phil said meeting Dan's eyes. "That's what I want too,"  he leaned down to kiss Dan's lips. "And that was a perfect song.”

He was so content with where he was at the moment. He had Dan and Dan loved him, Dan wanted to be in a relationship with him, it was just perfect.

"How was the show though? Apart from that, was I really awkward?"

"No you were perfect," Dan said softly and kissed him. "You look so adorable on there, I kept smiling the whole time," He kissed him again and grinned. "I liked the heart you made me by the way," He added.

"Yeah?" Phil snuggled into Dan's neck, "I never know what to do with myself when the music plays, so I just kinda fumble around till I get to talk again."

"But it’s adorable fumbling, so it’s okay," Dan said playfully. "Honestly though, you did awesome babe," he kissed his cheek. "You look so pretty on camera too," he added.

"Thank you," Phil mumbled and moved his head back up to kiss Dan's lips, gently moving his lips across the other boy’s. "You really mean it, you want to be with me?"

Dan just nodded, wanting to kiss him, not wanting to verbally answer, so he moved a bit and kissed Phil a little harder, mainly to show Phil that he wasn't so broken that he couldn't kiss.

"Yes, yes, I really mean it. Do you wanna be with me? Properly?" He kissed him again, not being able to help it.

"Of course I want it," Phil said against Dan’s lips, "I've wanted you to be mine for a while now," he smiled into the kiss and tangled a hand into Dan's hair.

Dan let out a soft happy sigh.

"Good, I'm yours okay?" He kissed him, hands going to his cheeks and pulling him closer.

Phil bit at Dan's lip.

"Mine," he mumbled. He liked that idea.

Dan was his, he had a claim over him now, he wasn’t just a hopeful regular customer. Dan was his boyfriend. He deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue inside the younger boy’s mouth.

Dan moaned lightly and nodded again.

"Mhm, yours," He let Phil's tongue enter his mouth, letting his move against it playfully.

It felt like forever since Dan had felt affection that wasn't gentle little kisses from Phil and he had missed it. Phil was beginning to tell that Dan wasn’t as delicate as he was treating him today. He let his tongue explore Dan's mouth and re-familiarize himself.

"I miss kissing you like this," Phil said softly, pulling away only enough to speak.

Dan nodded.

"Then don't stop," He muttered and pulled Phil closer again. He nipped at Phil's bottom lip and tangled his hand into his hair encouragingly.

Phil didn’t need to be told twice. He pressed his lips to Dan's, kissing him needily, passionately, trying to pour all his feelings into a kiss so Dan would remember how much he loved him. How he has loved him for a while. And will continue to love him.

The kiss was almost overwhelming in an amazing way, and Dan just kept it going. This was his first proper kiss with a boyfriend, with someone who was his. And even though he still couldn't wrap his head around it all, he loved it.

Phil moaned slightly and moved one of his hands down to caress Dan's chest up to his neck, just simply enjoying the feeling of the younger boy’s skin under his hand. Dan returned the small moan and the hand that wasn't in Phil's hair settled around his lower back, above his butt.

"God you're perfect, don't get bored of me, just stay, okay," he muttered against his lips.

He was starting to get tired and mentally cursed the current state of his body. If he was healthy and normal he wouldn't want to ever stop these kisses.

"I couldn't ever get bored of you Dan," Phil said happily, kissing the most beautiful boy in the world.

He could somehow feel Dan was starting to get exhausted, putting his kisses getting lazier.

"You alright? Do you need some time?" Phil asked, tilting his head to apply kisses to Dan's jaw to show he was willing to keep going if Dan wanted to.

Dan leaned into the kisses and sighed.

"M-just tired," this was probably the longest he had stayed awake in one sitting since ‘it’ had happened. "Don't wanna stop though,"

He grumbled a little. Phil gave a soft nod.

"Don't fall asleep while I’m kissing you," he said and laughed softly, moving back to Dan's lips.

"Would be a nice way to fall asleep though," he said and kissed Phil back again but mainly he was letting Phil just kiss him and it felt nice.

The kisses slowed down and it was just them running their lips over each others softly now. Dan pulled Phil's lower lip down a little with his own, then continued the small movements. It was one of the most intimate things Dan had experienced, yet he had no idea why.

Phil's hand massaged Dan's head as they brushed their lips together. Their relationship seemed to work in reverse, first they went all the way, then worked their way to now, to just kissing each other softly.

"You make my heart flip over," Phil said smiling.

"Ditto," Dan said and smiled but cut himself off with a small yawn. "Damn it," he pouted a little then leaned his head against Phil's shoulder. "I should be over this soon, being so tired..."

"It's okay baby, if you need to sleep it’s fine, I’ll be here when you wake up," Phil nuzzled Dan and rolled to the side. "How about we cuddle and watch a movie hmm? That way you can fall asleep if you want."

Phil gently caressed Dan's face, hoping the bruises would go away soon.

Dan nodded and kind of slouched down a little. He knew he was gonna fall asleep soon but was honestly sick of being in his room, so sleeping against Phil while he watched a film sounded ideal to him right now.

Phil took the remote and flipped through the channels on the remote and found a movie that had recently begun since he didn’t feel like getting up to put in a movie. They lazily moved themselves so they were both sitting on the end of the big sofa with their legs stretched out. Phil had his arm around Dan and the younger boy was snuggled into his side as much as he could without making himself uncomfortable. Phil placed a few kisses to the top of Dan's head and pulled the blanket from the couch around them.

"I love you," Phil said again, wanting to hear it back at least one last time before Dan fell asleep.

"Love you too," Dan said sleepily. He fell asleep five minutes into the film.

Phil watched the movie, and when it was over he looked down at Dan who was fast asleep, curled into him. Phil was planning to wake Dan up and move him back to his bed after the movie, but they were so cozy that Phil didn’t want to move. He rolled to his side and snuggled next to Dan to fall asleep on the couch, comfortably in each other’s arms.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Editor finished the chapter, this is now the updated version =]


	24. Eternal Malady

Phil woke up far too early, his legs in desperate need of a stretch. He rolled over slightly so he could stand up. After his legs felt a bit better, he went to the bathroom and took out his contact which were hurting his eyes. He put his glasses on and slowly padded back to the lounge and sat on the couch next to Dan, playing with his hair.

"Babe, wanna move to the bedroom?"

"Why awake to early?" Dan groaned and instantly molded himself against Phil again, opening his eyes a little bit. ,

"I know it's early, but c'mon," Phil smiled, pulling Dan up and helping him to his feet. "You can go to sleep again, I just want to get you into bed,"

Phil led Dan to the bed and laid him back down. Dan didn't respond, he just did as he was told and got back into bed. He cuddled down and lazily reached an arm out to make sure Phil got in bed as well. Phil crawled over Dan and snuggled next to him, much more comfortable now that he was in bed and his contacts were out.

Dan lifted his hand and put it on Phil's face, basically asleep but trying not to be.

"Did you sleep with contacts?" he mumbled.

"I did, I forget they are in sometimes, I'm fine," Phil mumbled pulling his glasses off his face so he could snuggle his face into Dan without being blocked by the frames.

"Don't want you to be sore," Dan whispered sleepily

"Mmmm you're so cuddly,"

"No you're cuddly."

Dan smiled and let his arms wrap around Phil. He yawned and one of his hands started to play with Phil's hair as Phil caressed his back.

"Say I love you again," Phil requested softly.

Dan smiled, liking how Phil kept asking him to say it.

"Mm love you," He said sleepily.

Dan's eyes were closed but he was still playing with Phil's hair. It was so quiet outside that it felt like they were the only people awake in the world.

"I love you too," Phil replied.

It was cute in a strange way, Phil thought, that Dan was concerned about Phil’s eye being sore when he was the one who was actually sore. Phil wondered how much discomfort Dan was actually in.

"I'm gonna sleep again," Phil said softly.

"Mhm," Dan mumbled, already slipping into sleep himself, his hand stilling in Phil's hair.

Phil closed his eyes as he snuggled closer to Dan so their bodies were touching, his arms loosely draped over Dan as his hand held onto his glasses.

 

A few hours later Dan woke up. They were still in the same position and when he moved a little he felt something cold against him. He reached behind himself and pulled Phil's glassed from his hand and smiled, putting them on Phil's face and kissing his forehead.

"Good morning," he said as he placed little kisses all over Phil's face to wake him up.

Phil whined softly as he was being woken up, but then smiled up at Dan, still not opening his eyes.

"Mm, morning. Can you wake me up every morning like this? This is nice," Phil said and moved his hands to Dan's face to guide him in for a kiss.

Dan giggled and lightly pressed his lips to Phil's.

"Sure, but it will start annoying you when the novelty wears off," he said quietly and kissed him again softly.

"I could never get used to this,"  Phil said opening his eyes slowly to see Dan hardly an inch from his face. "Hi," he said softly and let his hand wander into Dan's hair. "How’d you sleep?"

"Good, I didn't freak out so that's a good sign," he smiled a little, "Actually, yeah, I slept really well. I feel less sore this morning," He kissed Phil again and leaned back on the pillow.

"That's good," Phil said and kissed Dan's cheek. He was more than happy that Dan didn't freak out, recalling the scary episode of Dan kicking and shoving him away the night before. "If you want I can get you some more painkillers? It won't be perfect but it could help.”

Dan nodded. "Yeah okay," It would help a bit, and he wanted to act normal today. He wanted to actually get out of bed and move around properly.

Phil kissed Dan's forehead and started to get up, fixing his hair as he scooted off the bed.

"I'll make some coffee while I'm up," Phil said as he stretched and left the room.

This felt so natural and comfortable. He just wished the situation was better. Phil went into the kitchen and set up the coffee pot while he took out some pills and put them on a plate with a couple of biscuits. He leaned against the counter, closing his eyes and silently reminding himself to talk to Dan about getting tested. It was something he wanted to avoid but he couldn't just pretend Dan wasn't at risk and put them both in danger.

The coffee finished and Phil made Dan's cup and carried the plate and cup into the room.

"Don't sleep now," Phil smiled at Dan.

"I'm still awake, barely, but I am," Dan said, stretching and sitting up, pouting at the pills.

"I know you don't like pills, but they will help," Phil said, sitting at the edge of the bed next to Dan. "Can we cuddle again? I want to talk about… stuff," Phil said and fiddled with his hands.

He didn't want to talk about it, but he hoped if Dan did have something they could catch it early enough so the doctors could stop it. Dan nodded but eyed him a little suspiciously as he opened his arms for Phil, after he had swallowed the first pill with a bite of a biscuit.

"What stuff?" he asked softly.

Phil moved across Dan to snuggle up next to him.

"Stuff about that night... Are you okay to talk about it?" Phil said, playing with Dan’s hands.

"If you need me to," He said quietly and nodded, pulling Phil a little closer. He really didn't want to talk but he knew that he owed it to Phil.

Phil breathed softly and wrapped his arms around Dan.

"When you said they didn't use anything, what did you mean by that?"

Dan sighed and tensed a little.

"Um, take it literally. Like, nothing. No lube. no condom," He was averting his gaze to anywhere that wasn’t Phil.

Phil moved his hand to caress Dan's shoulder. He took a deep breath. That was what he was thinking but part of him was hoping that it wasn't like that.

"We need to get you tested for HIV then," Phil said.

It sounded so harsh, he didn't want to say it like that. It didn't mean Phil would stop being with him, but they needed to know. Phil quickly leaned closer to kiss Dan's cheek to try and tell him that.

Dan tensed up completely, he didn't speak just shook his head and curled into Phil.

"It wasn't my fault, I am always careful, my customers know the rules... I never once suggested that they didn’t need to use a condom, why did they break my rules? It’s not my fault, I swear,"

His words came out rushed and he was clinging to Phil, terrified that he was gonna leave. He hadn't even thought about this, it was like it was too scary of a thought for his brain to process so he had just ignored it.

"Shh shh baby it's ok, I’m not going anywhere, I know it wasn't your fault," Phil said, kissing the top of Dan's head and putting his arm back around him. "We just have to find out, okay? It'll be okay, I'll go with you and we'll find out together. I promise, you won't be alone."

"But I am all beaten up... They will think that I was raped, they might think you did it," Dan said quietly. "Wait... they didn't come inside me. That makes it less likely but... I don't wanna be sick Phil. I don't I don't wanna be sick,"

A few tears slipped down his cheeks as a million thoughts rushed through his mind. He suddenly tensed up and backed away a little.

"Oh god what If I have made you sick? Oh god oh god oh god”

"Dan, I'm fine, there’s no way that you got me sick," Phil moved his hand up to caress Dan’s face, brushing the tears away with his thumb. "If they ask about the bruise on your face we'll just say you were hit by some homophobe. I'll get tested too; there's nothing wrong with couples getting tested just to both be aware of their status,"

Phil's voice was incredibly calm for how his thoughts were right now, thinking about how different their relationship would be if Dan was sick.

"B-but in the shower, I was bleeding and you were in there too, so what if? I need to get tested for all STI's, and I can't work for about 2 weeks. Oh god my boss is gonna kill me, what If I am sick? I don't wanna die, that's not supposed to happen," Dan moved closer to Phil and hugged him. "I'm sorry," he said trying to hide his tears.

Phil felt a lump in his throat,

"You're not going to die okay? Don't talk like that," he was trying to hold back his own tears so he could stay strong for Dan. "I had my clothing on when I was in the shower. And you're not going to die from this, okay Dan?" Phil pulled him closer into his chest and buried his face into his hair. "I love you, so you can’t die, I don't want anyone else I love to die."

Dan felt bad. That was why he apologized: if he died, it would be another person Phil lost.

"I'm sorry, I won't die, even if I am sick. People don't just die from it now... there are medicines now, I'm sorry, don't worry I'm not gonna leave you," He said softly, arms going around Phil's back and up on his shoulders. "Have you been worrying about this all this time and keeping it to yourself?"

He was still crying but only a little, he was more worried about Phil now..

"Mhm," Phil admitted. He had blocked it out most of the time, but it came back to him now and again and he felt guilty that he hadn't told Dan sooner. "I didn't want to freak you out like this," Phil said softly, his voice cracking a little. "Can we just go to the doctor today please? I don't want to wait, I need to know..."

"It will take about 2 weeks till we know babe," Dan said softly against Phil's chest. "I am sorry, I just fuck people’s lives up, my parents didn't want me, I was a fuck up since then, and now I am causing the only person I care about stress… You should just leave me to rot, I don't deserve anything, especially you,"

Dan couldn't help it when he got in these moods, it was like he was the worst thing on the planet and he hated himself for even being alive sometimes.

"Just find someone worth loving, I'm not, I'm crap, I'm just crap Phil."

"Dan, come on, stop it. It's not you, this isn't your fault. You're beautiful and kind and I just love you so much, I don't care what happens, I love you and I'm going to be here for you," Phil said in a rushed voice. He didn't want Dan to push him away now, not like this. Phil needed him close now more than ever.

"It's my fault that I am a hooker, that that’s what I do as a job. I sell myself and let strangers treat me like crap just for money," He laughed bitterly. "It's my fault that I met the most perfect guy, who I love so much, but all I am doing is causing him pain when he is perfect and doesn't deserve it," He paused for a moment. "Please don't leave me, you are honestly the best and only good thing in my life, and it's selfish but I need you with me, I can't cope without you cause you showed me I can be more than grey," He was quietly sobbing, scared of being alone again.

Phil kissed the top of Dan's head again.

"I'm never going to leave you. I love you so much Dan," Phil tangled his hand in Dan's hair to hold him close, trying to calm the younger boy’s sobs. "It will be okay, you've got me, we'll make it through this Dan,"

He said the words into Dan's hair but they were mainly for himself, trying to calm his own nerves down.

Dan nodded, lifting his face to kiss Phil's lips softly.

"I believe you," he said quietly. "You are an idiot for staying, but I believe you, I love you, I love you," He said in between kisses, "We will be fine, the test will be negative and it will be fine... right?"

"Exactly," Phil said, kissing Dan back and letting them both be calmed by the optimistic thoughts. "Don't worry, we will make it through this."

Dan nodded and kissed back. He wasn't crying anymore, and although he was terrified, Phil was here and he wasn't going anywhere without him, so it was gonna be okay. Phil pulled away to smile at Dan.

"Thank you for listening to me," he said and kissed Dan again.

"Thanks for bringing it up," He said softly against Phil's lips "But I’m scared, and we need to find out before we get too scared; we don't know anything yet."  He sat back and met Phil's eyes. "You make me less scared and more scared at the same time. Before you, I had nothing to lose. Now I do, you are the one thing that calms me down, but in the same breath you terrify me more than anything else. I think… Now that I have something to live for, I want to live. Before you I didn't really care either way."

Phil ran his hand through Dans hair.

"You're going to be okay, got it?" Phil never liked how Dan treated his life as insignificant, but now it was even scarier to think about. "What time do you want to go today?" Phil asked softly. This would be their first time going out in daylight together.

"As soon as possible, just to get it over with," Dan said and cuddled closer to Phil. "Then we can come back here and just not think about it," of course he knew that was impossible.

"Mhm," Phil agreed.

He just wanted to leave this behind so they could enjoy their life together. Phil shifted and started to stand up.

"Okay, let's get ready and finish our coffee then we can go?" Phil asked.

"Yup. I just need to shower," Dan got up and skulled back his coffee. "Real clothes are gonna suck," he pouted, he had been living in sweats or had been naked for the past few days. Jeans were very unappealing for his state.

"Can I shower with you?” Phil asked cautiously. "Or not... I mean, I can wait till after you're done, it's not a problem."

Dan shook his head.

"No, I um, I don't want you getting too close to me," He averted his eyes. "Sorry," he said quickly before going into the bathroom and closing the door behind him for the first time ever with Phil there.

"Okay," Phil said sadly to the empty room.

He understood Dan’s worry but he didn't want to be shut out like that. He went into the kitchen and made himself some coffee, drinking it while Dan was in the shower.

Dan showered quickly. He wrapped a towel around his waist and walked into the kitchen to hug Phil from behind.

"I'm sorry if that came across mean, I just don't wanna hurt you," He kissed the top of Phil's neck.

Phil turned and wrapped his arms around the younger boy.

"I'm fine," Phil said smiling. "You're walking around!" He was glad to see Dan was able to move again. As much as he liked being needed, he didn't like seeing Dan in pain.

Dan smiled, "Yeah, I am a lot less sore, and the painkillers took that last edge off. Still a little uncomfortable but not really painful, thanks to you looking after me so well," Dan said nuzzling him a little. "Look,"

He showed him his wrists and ribs, the bruises a lot more faded now. Phil took Dan's hands and kissed his wrists.

"I'm glad," he smiled softly, it was really nice to see Dan get better. "I'll take a shower and then we will go okay?" Phil asked and moved his hands down to Dan's hips. "You gonna try wearing jeans, or gonna wear sweats?"

"Jeans, don't wanna wear sweats in public. I will tough it out," Dan said, smiling a little, pushing his hips into Phil's touch because he loved Phil having his hands on him simply like this.

Phil's thumbs caressed Dan's hipbones.

"If you insist," Phil leaned forward and kissed Dan's cheek cautiously before moving to his lips. "Okay, I'm gonna go shower. Be right back," Phil said, moving away from the younger boy and walking out of the kitchen.

Dan went to get ready, thinking about pointless things to keep his mind off of what they were about to go do.

Soon enough Phil was dressed and ready to go. Ten minutes later they were on the train, both noticeably nervous and awkwardly silent. Phil cautiously reached over to hold Dan's hand. Dan instantly took Phil’s hand in his and squeezed it gently, letting Phil know it was okay to act like they were together. They were together.

"It's gonna be okay," Phil said. They both needed to be reassured again, even though they didn't know if it really was going to be okay or not.

 

"Yeah, it's gonna be completely fine," Dan said, not believing himself. He hoped that they were gonna be fine, he needed them to be.

They eventually arrived at the clinic, Phil gripping tightly to Dan's hand. He stepped up to the counter and told the lady behind the desk what they were there for. She told them to take a seat in the waiting room and wait for their turn. Phil's heart was racing. He didn't like the place and he didn’t want to be there but they couldn't just pretend that everything was fine, they needed this. That’s what he kept telling himself, that they needed this, that the test would come back negative and they would go back to their lives. That was all there was to it.

Dan was looking around at the other people, waiting. Some just like them, normal and healthy looking. Others looked like meth addicts and some where clearly already sick. Dan tried not to stare but he kept wondering if that would be him in a few years if the results were positive. He heard his name after a while and his heart rate sped up. He looked at Phil with wide eyes, suddenly really scared.

"It will be okay, come on," Phil said shakingly. He touched Dan's face and stood up, pulling Dan along with him. Together they walked into a room where a nurse was waiting for them.

Dan trailed behind Phil, almost like a child, as they went into the small room. Dan sat on the bed and Phil in the chair next to it while the nurse stood in front of Dan.

"Mr Howell so you are here to be tested for HIV?"

Dan swallowed.

"Yeah," Dan knew how this went because he got STI checks once a month at work with a doctor that went around the club. This was much different, however, and Dan didn't like it.

"Have you had unprotected sex in the last month?"

Dan nodded.

"Does your partner have HIV? I recommend that she also gets tested," The nurse said without really looking at him, obviously misjudging the situation of them both there together. Dan looked at Phil, then back at her, but didn't say anything.

"Oh, uh, no, I'm his partner, I don't have anything," Phil said, playing with his hands. He was nervous because of the questions that she was asking; he didn’t know what things would trigger Dan to have a breakdown.

"Okay... Have you slept with someone else besides your partner?" She looked at Dan expectantly.

"Um well, it's like, yeah," Dan said looking at Phil again to calm himself down. "Yeah and it was unprotected, hence me being here. I dunno if the-he had anything or not,"

Dan was blushing a lot and he didn't know why. This woman was a stranger, her opinion didn't matter. But he felt judged because he sounded like a cheater. Wasn’t that what he was though, with just a different label? He tried to focus on reality to block out his thoughts, unintentionally looking scared again.

"It's okay to talk to her Dan, she's just trying to help, and I'm right here," Phil wanted to move closer to hold Dan's hand but he kept his seat, not wanting to get in the way of the nurse.

Dan nodded and turned back to the nurse, noticeably calmer, ready to talk. When he looked at the nurse he found her looking at him weirdly and he didn't know what to make of it.

"Your eye... What happened there?"

He didn't know what to say.

"I, um, I don't think that’s necessary information for a HIV check, is it?” Seeing the look on her face, he added, “I got punched by a homophobic guy,"

He glanced at Phil and back to the nurse, and she was looking at Phil with an unimpressed look.

Phil nodded, making eye contact with the nurse for only a second.

"Can I have your partner leave the room?" she said towards Dan.

Phil's heart dropped. She obviously thought that he was the one who had hit Dan, and she wanted him to leave the room so she could ask Dan in private. It would make sense, Dan 'cheating' and then coming in with a bruise on his face. Phil started to stand up to leave but was stopped by Dan’s grip on his wrist.

"N-no," he said and pulled at Phil's arm a little. "Don't leave me y-you said I wouldn't need to do this alone, don't," his fear was back quickly, still oblivious to the nurse’s suspicions. "I want him to stay, you can say anything with him here, I don’t mind."

Phil put his fingers on Dan's cheek and caressed it lovingly, "It will be okay, I won’t be out long. She just doesn't want your answers to be swayed by me in here."

"Wait… no.. oh!.. no, no," Dan turned to the nurse again, hand still gripped tightly around Phil's wrist, "Phil didn't hit me, it wasn't him. God, no, Phil would never do that."

"Alright, he can stay, I'm just trying to figure out your situation here," she said and wrote something on her notepad.

Phil continued to stand next to Dan, now holding his hand tightly. The nurse returned to asking questions.

"The unprotected sex you had, was there any risk of tearing?"

Dan flinched a little at the memory and closed his eyes, hating her for the questions.

"Can we just do the tests?" he said almost pleadingly. He didn't want to relive that night, and he certainly didn't want to tell his story to this stranger.

She noted his reaction.

"Mr. Howell, was the unprotected sex you had consensual?" she asked and Phil put his other hand over Dan's.

Phil had thought of that plenty of times but never wanted to suggest that to Dan, being in the state he was in.

Dan didn't know how to answer. Short answer? No. It wasn't. But Dan was a hooker, normal rules didn't apply. He turned up to a house call. That was consent, but he did not consent to how it happened.

"I consented the action, but not how the action was done," Dan said after a few seconds, sounding a little strained because he didn't want to admit that he had lost control of the situation.

Phil could see and hear that Dan wasn't going to last this questioning period much longer. He got the nurse’s attention so she would listen to him speak instead.

"Alright, since you don’t seem satisfied with his unclear answers, I’ll tell you the situation. Dan is paid to have sex with people. He consented to sex with a condom, not rough, violent, unprotected sex."

Dan squeezed Phil’s hand once more, feeling judged by the nurse. He was glad that Phil stepped in, though.

"You know, prostitutes can be raped too. If they break your rules then that's rape... I think we should run a full STI check. Are you okay with that? Also, have you two engaged in any sexual activity since this incident?" She turned to Phil, seeing as he was leading the conversation and Dan was staring at the floor.

"Yeah, run whatever tests you think are right, we just want to be safe. And, no, we haven't," Phil said softly.

The word rape sounded so harsh, but Phil knew that it was true. Even if they paid Dan, Dan had said stop and they hadn’t listened.

Dan nodded to what Phil said, giving his consent.

"Okay, Dan, I would like to physically examine you, then take urine, blood, and swab samples from you. Is that okay?” Dan nodded and she continued, “Some of it may be uncomfortable, and it is up to you if you want your partner to stay or not,"

Dan swallowed and glanced at Phil.

"It's up to him if he wants to," he didn't want to make Phil uncomfortable.

"I'm fine," Phil said, settling down into a chair. So far, he had seen the worst with Dan at the club. Watching Dan get examined by a nurse who was just trying to help them was easy.

The nurse started to examine Dan. First, he had to take his pants off because although he knew he had no physical sign of an STI, she wanted to see. Dan was very aware of the bruises on his hips, and she needed to take a few swabs from around him and one rather unpleasant one from down his urethra before she examined the damage from him being fucked. She used an uncomfortable tube to hold him open while she used another tool to look inside him.

"Oh gosh, there is some serious tearing here. More so than makes sense, actually..."

Dan didn't want to tell her everything but knew he had to.

"It was 2 of them. Same time, no protection or lube, no stretching..." Dan flinched and glanced at Phil. He just wanted to go home.

Phil’s stomach turned upside down at the doctor’s reaction to the internal bruises. He kept reminding himself that it was the right decision for both of them, and he hoped that Dan understood that and wasn't upset with Phil for bringing him here.

The nurse advised him on how to make sure he heals properly and he nodded. After taking various swabs, she moved onto blood samples which were much easier and far less invasive. At this point Dan felt like an animal being tested on and he just wanted to get up and leave, but was staying strong for Phil because he knew how much Phil cared about him.

Phil held Dan's life on a much higher priority list than Dan himself did.


	25. First Date

The examination ended and Dan’s hand was in Phil’s again. They were told they would be receiving a call within 2 weeks and would take appropriate actions from there. Phil thanked the nurse and then led Dan back outside.

"It's nice out, wanna go to Starbucks or Shakeaway? To spend some time not locked in your room?"

Dan leaned against Phil lightly, feeling a bit used up from being prodded about by the nurse.

"Mhm sounds good. Sorry you had to deal with all that," Dan said with an apologetic smile.

"You don't have to be sorry," Phil said, leaning to kiss Dan's cheek as they started walking.  

"It's not your fault, and it was my idea to bring you here in the first place.”

Dan relaxed a little, deciding to take Phil’s word and try to stop feeling bad about what Phil witnessed.

“So, what are you feeling like? Milkshakes or coffee? My treat," Phil put his arm around Dan's waist as they walked.

"My vote is coffee please," Dan smiled and kissed Phil's cheek.

Phil smiled and led Dan down the street. It wasn't long until they reached Starbucks. Phil held the door open for Dan, letting the younger boy step inside first.

"What do you want?" Phil asked, bringing his hands back to Dan's waist as they stepped closer to the counter.

Dan was enjoying their couple-like closeness and little touches a lot.

"Hmmm… Caramel Macchiato?" Dan said, leaning his head on Phil's shoulder a little, silently reveling in any looks they got because Phil was his and everyone could see it.

"That's my favorite," Phil said, kissing Dan's cheek again. He then stepped to the side of Dan ordered their drinks and looked around the shop. "Wanna pick a seat and I'll bring the drinks over when they are ready?"

Dan nodded and walked over to the couches, claiming one. He sat down and watched Phil, thinking about how lucky he was that someone like Phil even looked at him, besides show interest and love him. He grinned to himself, almost forgetting all the issues that were going on for them.

Phil glanced over at Dan and smiled, proud to be able to call this beautiful boy his. He could see heads turn when Dan walked into a room, that was just the effect Dan had on people. Phil got their coffees and walked over to where Dan was sitting. Phil threw his arm over Dan's shoulders and snuggled up with him on the couch, like he wanted everyone to make no mistake that they were together. They talked for a few minutes, and even though it seemed like they were in their own little world, out of the corner of his eye Phil saw his friends. They were the same ones who had taken him to the club in the first place. He got their attention and waved them over.

"I want you to meet my friends," Phil said to Dan as Chris and Pj walked closer.

Dan got nervous suddenly. He had never met any of Phil's friends, what if they didn't like him? What if they were the ones that went to the club with Phil and they recognized him?

"Oh okay," Dan said, smiling but gripping at Phil a little tighter.

"Hey Phil!" Pj greeted, looking at Dan and thinking of how familiar he looked.

Phil pulled away from Dan for a moment to hug his friends before turning back to Dan.

"I'd like you to meet my boyfriend, Dan. Dan, this is Chris, and this is Pj," Phil said as Chris stepped forward and extended his hand for Dan to shake.

Dan blushed a little. He hadn’t been sure if Phil was going to refer to him as his boyfriend or friend, but he had said boyfriend and that made him happy.

"Hi, nice to meet you," Dan said quietly and smiled as he shook Chris's hand, followed by the other boy Phil had called Pj.

Phil smiled and sat back down with Dan. Chris and Pj casually pulled up some chairs.

"So is this why we never see you around anymore?" Chris said, laughing.

Phil chuckled along and nodded his head. He snuggling closer to Dan so Dan wouldn’t feel excluded.

Before the incident Phil only saw Dan once a week, but that day was usually when his friends wanted him so Phil had turned them down plenty of times.

"Well he's cute, I'll give you that. Do you go to school, Dan?" Pj asked.

Dan blushed at being called cute. Getting compliments in the club while he was dressed as Grey was much different than getting them from real people to the real him.

"No, no I don't go to school," He got a bit worried as the next question was predictable: his job.

He reached for Phil’s hand which was resting on his lap and held it tightly, hoping it silently conveyed his concerns. He didn't know social protocol like this… was being this close to Phil in public okay? Was it rude?

Phil turned his face and kissed Dan's head giving him some comfort.

"He's shy," Phil said, looking back at Chris and Pj.

"Ah no worries, he'll warm up eventually. You should bring him around more often," Chris said as he leaned back in his chair and drank his coffee, smiling and nodding at Dan.

"Maybe," Phil said, caressing Dan’s hand with his thumb.

"Oh ouch, what happened there?" Pj asked, catching sight of the bruise on Dan’s face. He pointed at the same spot on his own face to show Dan what he meant.

"Oh um," Dan reached up and covered the side of his face with his free hand, "Some guy punched me cause he found out I was gay, no biggie… Homophobes, you know,"

He shrugged and kept looking at Pj when he talked, feeling like he was loosening up a little. These guys were Phil’s friends, and they weren't intimidating him or trying to hurt him, it was okay. They were like Phil: the non-hurtful kind.

Pj nodded, "Yeah. That sucks, but at least not everyone’s like that," Pj smiled softly.

"So what are your plans for the day?" Chris asked Phil after a moment of silence.

"I don't know, we were probably just going back to Dan's. What are you guys doing?"

Pj and chris looked at each other and back to Phil. "We were gonna catch a movie, you're welcome to join us," Chris said.

Dan let Phil do the talking now since he didn't really mind if they hung out. If they went to the cinema he would probably fall asleep but that wasn't too big of a deal. And Phil would be there, so it was okay.

"I don't mind," he muttered to Phil, kissing his cheek and smiling. Phil nodded.

"Yeah, why not, I haven’t seen you guys much lately," Phil said laughing a little.

They talked for a little while longer and finished their coffees. They sat up and started heading out the door. Phil turned to Dan, really close to him.

"How are you feeling, you sure you're alright?" Phil asked. He had become somewhat of a mother then with his protectiveness.

Dan yawned, "Yeah I'm okay, I'm sleepy, but this is like a distraction. You know, from worrying," He wrapped an arm around Phil's waist and kissed his cheek. "But I’m fine, relax babe."

Phil smiled at Dan.

"Just checking," he said and kissed Dan's cheek back.

"Hey you two, do I have to put you in a room?" Chris said, looking back at them.

Dan giggled and hid his face against Phil’s shoulder, blushing a little.

"Shhh he's nice to cuddle with," Dan said, looking up at Chris and smiling but staying close to Phil.

Phil smiled and gave Dan another kiss. Soon enough they were at the movies.  Popcorn in hand, they were all snuggled down into their chairs at the theater and Phil had his arm around Dan. He imagined this was Dan's first time being on a date of any proper kind with a guy.

"You comfy?" Phil asked, offering Dan some popcorn.

"Mhm," Dan said softly and dipped his hand in the popcorn bag.

Is this what a date felt like? Because it was kind of nice, and he liked it. He felt warm and cosy next to Phil. They had pushed the armrest up between them so Dan was leaning against Phil's side happily.

Phil smiled and rested against Dan, eating popcorn and turning his attention to the screen.

Dan stayed awake as long as he could, but it had been a long day for him so about halfway through the film he drifted off. He didn't mind though, he was comfortable and felt safe. Phil felt Dan's body relax and assumed he had fallen asleep and left him be. He was just happy to have the younger boy here with him.

The movie ended and Chris and PJ stood up and looked over at Phil and Dan.

"Awww," Pj said, watching Phil shift slightly to try and wake him. "It's nice to see you with a boyfriend again Phil," Pj pulled out his phone and took a picture.

"Dan, wake up love, movie’s over," Phil said pushing Dan's hair out of his face.

"Hmm? Oh. Oops," Dan said giggling. "Was it good?" he yawned and smiled at Chris and Pj. He felt a little better now. Still tired, but better.

"Yeah," Phil laughed and stood up to stretch. He extended his hand to help Dan up.

"Ready to go home love?" Phil asked.

Dan nodded and took Phil's hand and started walking out. Once they were outside and it was time for them to part ways, Dan spoke.

"It was nice to meet you guys, really. Hope to see you again at some point," Dan smiled, really meaning what he said. Phil had really nice friends.

Phil waved goodbye and they headed in the opposite direction from Chris and Pj.

"Whatcha think of them?" Phil asked, holding Dan's hand tightly.

"They were really nice, I'm not used to people like that. I like it. I like them," Dan giggled and squeezed Phil's hand. "But I am looking forward to going home now and being lazy."

"They are generally really nice people. sorry for putting you on the spot, they were just curious about you; someone they haven’t seen before that their friend is now dating. They want to know you," Phil kissed Dan's shoulder. "I vote for cuddling when we get back, by the way."

"Yes please," Dan said. "And I don't mind, it was nice. I liked them, I was just scared they would ask what my job was," Dan shrugged. "I don't ever wanna embarrass you, and if they found out, then it would."

"You wouldn't embarrass me. I mean, they would be cautious of the idea of it and warn me of dangers, but they liked you; you're still a good person," Phil replied, moving his hand up to play with Dan's hair as they walked.

Dan smiled. He liked that, that Phil thought he was a good person regardless of his line of work.

"Thank you," Dan said softly and kissed Phil. "every time you come out with something like that, it just reminds me that I matter a little more than before. Makes me believe it that little bit more. So thank you"

Phil leaned back and kissed Dan again.

"You do matter."

They went home and cuddled and talked. The next two weeks went by, with them cuddling and Phil helping Dan as he got better. Soon he was able to help Phil cook dinner. It was nice how close they had become, they felt like a normal couple living together even though they both knew that soon Phil would have to go back to his own place.

When the day came, Dan was sitting on the couch and Phil was making dinner, and Dan’s phone rang. Phil, who was cutting chicken, wiped his hands and picked up the phone. He looked at the caller ID and handed it to Dan.

"It's the clinic," Phil said. He wanted to sit down, this news could change everything they had ahead of them.

Dan had been smiling, but not anymore. He stared at Phil before moving closer.

"Get them to tell you please. I don't wanna hear it from them, if it's positive," Dan said, quietly touching Phil's face. If it was bad news he wanted to hear it in a voice he knew not a cold stranger from a clinic.

Phil nodded and took a deep breath, his heart racing. He put an arm around Dan's waist and pulled him closer, and brought the phone to his ear.

"Hello?"

"Hello, may I speak to Mr. Howell please?"

"I'm his partner, he wants to hear it from me," Phil replied and swallowed harshly as he waited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THEY HAVE TO WAIT 2 WEEKS SO DO YOU!!!


	26. Positivity

Phil’s heart beat loudly, he could hear it in his ears and feel it in his throat. This moment could change the entire course of their relationship. He swallowed heavily. His palms sweaty, he wiped them on his jeans as he listened to the silence on the other end of the receiver for a moment before the nurse spoke.

"Results for Mr. Howell show negative for all tests, the results are clean," The nurse said over the phone. Phil's arm tightened around Dan, leaning into him. "And tell him to be careful, okay?"

Phil nodded, even though she couldn’t see him through the phone.

"Mhmm, Yes, of course. Thank you," they said their goodbyes and hung up.

Phil clung to Dan, all of his fears gone. They were going to be okay.

"You're clean, you're not sick Dan. The tests were all negative," Phil said, moving his hands to caress Dan's face and look at his eyes.

"Wh-what? Really? You’re serious?" Dan clung to Phil, his hands going to Phil's wrists which were on Dan’s cheeks. "Oh my god," Dan felt tears prick at his eyes "I'm not going to die!"

He pulled Phil forward into a massive hug. Phil wrapped his arms around Dan, holding onto him more tightly than ever.

"I was so afraid I was gonna lose you," Phil said, his voice breaking as he started crying.

He pulled back slightly and started placing kisses all over Dan's face, happy that something had worked out right for them.

"I didn't wanna leave, I am not ready to leave. I wanna stay with you. I'm gonna stay with you," Dan was crying too. He let Phil bombard him with kisses, his own hands running over Phil's arms, trying to settle both Phil and himself in the action.

Phil kissed Dan's cheeks where there were tears.

"I love you," Phil said softly, moving to kiss Dan's lips gently and lovingly, his heart beating faster than ever.

"I love you too, so much. And I'm not leaving, nothing can make me leave now,"

Dan kissed back and for the first time since that day he felt completely clean, healthy and pure again.

Phil let his hands run down Dan's neck, then fall over his shoulders to pull him closer as they kissed. He needed to kiss him, to feel him close and to feel loved, because for once things worked out in their favor, and they could be together without fear.

The kiss deepened and Dan happily returned it, needing to feel close to Phil as well, to feel love.

"I love you," he mumbled again against Phil's lips and moved closer, hands going to Phil's hips.

"Love you more," Phil mumbled back, his hand moving to hold onto Dan's hair, deepening the kiss and letting his tongue slip into the boy’s mouth. Somehow Dan tasted better now, there was no hesitation or nervousness of their health.

Dan let out a soft moan and let his tongue run over Phil's, pulling Phil closer again eagerly by his belt-loops. He didn't know why but there was some kind of urgency in the air, like he had to make Phil his again properly now that there wasn't any fear of illness stopping him.

"Want you," He mumbled, blushing. He had never asked for someone before, and really he had no idea how to.

Phil pressed his hips forward into Dan's, wanting him just as badly. It had been weeks since he had been able to be that close to Dan and he would be lying if he said he didn't miss it. His hands gripped at the back of Dan's shirt and pulled up slightly.

"Yeah," Phil responded and pressed his hips harder into Dan's. "I want you too," his heart rate picked up again, loving that Dan was expressing want for him.

Dan nodded eagerly and his hands went to Phil's ass. It felt odd to him because he wasn't working; he was touching Phil and about to have sex because he wanted to. He could do things he wanted, not just what would impress, and it was a kind of freedom Dan had never considered before. Dan giggled.

"I feel like an adult. Like, mutually wanting to have sex and doing so, it not being a requirement of my job but a want from me." he paused and kissed Phil's lips again. "Although you were always a want, from when I first saw you watching me," He started to kiss down Phil's neck. "God I want you so bad," he muttered and slipped his hands under Phil's shirt and over his hips.

Phil smirked and tilted his head allowing Dan to kiss as he pleased. It felt so new for them. His hands roamed down Dan's chest.

"Dan," Phil said in a soft moan. He wanted to feel the skin under his fingertips. "I'm yours."

Dan smiled. It sounded so perfect to hear that from Phil. He sucked a love bite into Phil's skin, hands roaming over his stomach and chest.

"Mine," He repeated when he finished the mark and smirked a little. He wanted Phil closer and the distance created by the clothing were annoying him, so he started pulling Phil's shirt up.

"Off," he sounded frustrated. "Your skin looks so much nicer than your clothes, no offense," He grinned.

Phil laughed. Dan was acting so differently from all the other times that they had had sex. This time he was just being Dan.

"Yeah, yours too," Phil said as he put his hands under Dan's shirt and pulled it up and over his head to encourage Dan to do the same to him.

Dan took the hint and pulled Phil's shirt off, kissing over his chest instantly, just enjoying the other’s body.

"This is nice," he said softly. "Just, you know, just being like this with you, without any rules or pressure."

He ran his tongue over Phil's nipple and bit it lightly. Dan was relaxed and being himself but he was still good at making other people feel good, and still intended on using those skills to the best of his ability with Phil. Phil moaned, his chest being his sensitive area.

"It can always be like this," Phil said softly, leaning against the counter. His hand tangled into Dan's hair as he thought about how he would always be impressed by Dan's skills at everything.

Dan's hands ended up on Phil's hips again as he kissed lower on his body. He started to undo Phil's belt but looked up for reassurance first, just to make sure it was okay, still not to sure since he was the one who initiated this.

Phil nodded at Dan and ran his hands through the younger boy’s hair once more. He started to wonder if Dan was actually emotionally stable enough to have sex. Dan said that he wanted to do it, but Phil worried that he might cause Dan to freak out and spark up his bad memories.

"Wait, are you sure you’re ready? We can slow down if you want,"

"I'm good… do you want me to slow down?" Dan said, looking up at Phil and blushing a little, pausing his actions.

Phil shook his head.

"Don't stop," Phil said, playing with Dan's hair. "I just don’t want you to get scared if it’s happening too fast or too soon."

Dan smiled a little and continued to undo Phil's pants, fully on his knees now.

"No, I'm not gonna freak out or anything, don't worry. And If I do I will tell you. I wanna replace bad memories with good ones, you know?" He pulled Phil’s pants down and palmed him lightly through his boxers, biting his lip.

"Mhm," Phil moaned softly.

He liked that idea, he wanted to replace all of Dan's bad memories with good ones. Show him, as a boyfriend now, what it felt like to be loved and treated like a human.

Dan kept up the small touches for a little while before pulling Phil's boxers down and stroking him. Dan’s eyes locked on Phil’s face as he watched him respond to his actions before he turned his attention to Phil's cock, taking the head in his mouth and swirling his tongue, tasting pre come before licking a line up his length. He stopped and kissed over Phil's base, tongue licking every so often.

"I have never told you how much I love your cock," He said, his voice lower than before, as talking about this while touching him was turning him on even more. "And I'm not saying that to boost your ego or play the role of cock slut."

He smiled and pulled his head back, meeting Phil's eyes with Phil's tip in front of his lips.

"I genuinely love it. I love how you feel in my hand, mouth," he smirked suggestively. "Other places... how you look," he glanced down then back up. "Taste..." He let his tongue flick over Phil's tip. "And I am qualified to rate such things."

He took Phil in his mouth again and bobbed his head a few times before taking Phil into his throat, perhaps a little more careful than usual because instinctively he was hesitant from last time. He quickly realized everything was fine and took Phil deeper. He pulled off again and smiled.

"And you're fucking huge,"

Phil smiled at Dan, hearing him talk like that was only making him more hard. He couldn't help but feel a bit proud that someone like Dan said that to him and meant it.

"But you're only saying that because we're lovers," Phil said with a small laugh.

He liked how talkative Dan was, oddly. It was just nice to hear everything Dan was thinking and not just playing the role he thought Phil wanted.

Dan shook his head.

"No I really mean it, I thought it the first time I touched you. That's why I was so loud the first time you fucked me remember? I am always loud with you,"

Phil smiled, he liked being the reason of Dan’s loudness, and was glad that he could please him that way.

Dan stopped talking and bobbed his head again on Phil, moaning around him trying to make him feel as good as he could with his mouth. Soon he got impatient and pulled off again, "Speaking of fucking," He said and smirked. "Can we do that now?"

"Take off your pants," Phil said, opening his wallet to take out a condom and lubricant packet, covering himself with it. "And put your hands on the counter."

Dan stood up and bit his lip. They both seemed so much more confident asking for things now that they knew that they both wanted this for the same reasons. Dan did as requested, quickly ridding himself of his remaining clothing and standing how he was told to. He was a little worried, he felt healed but what if he wasn't completely? He knew Phil would be gentle with him to start with though, so it wasn't really a concern. He smiled to himself.

So that’s what complete trust felt like.

Phil leaned over Dan, kissing along his shoulder and the back of his neck.

"You sure you want to do this right now?" Phil asked, his fingers teasing along Dan's entrance.

Dan rolled his eyes shut but smiled.

"No, I was joking when I asked if we can fuck," He laughed "I want you, okay? Just, gentle, incase I'm not 100% ready yet. Pretty sure I'm fine but I won’t really know until you do it."

Phil laughed and nibbled at Dan's shoulder playfully. He pushed a finger inside first, slowly moving it in and out to test Dan's reaction.

Dan moaned lightly, realizing how much he missed Phil doing this stuff to him.

"Mmh I forgot to say I love your fingers too," he looked over his shoulder at Phil and smirked. "Doesn't hurt," he added softly to reassure Phil.

"Good," Phil said, kissing behind Dan's ear.

He inserted another finger and started stretching Dan slowly and carefully. This was their first time together since the incident and Phil wanted to make sure sex with Phil was as good as Dan remembered it.

Dan moaned again, sounding content. He liked the feeling of being stretched, it was pleasurable to him and Phil was so good with his fingers that Dan thought this was all he should use them for, all the time. He pushed back against them a little eagerly.

Phil smiled, Dan was responding physically well. He couldn’t wait much longer. Phil pulled out his fingers and started rubbing his cock along Dan's entrance, teasing him. He then slowly pushed the tip in. His cock was wider than his fingers so he still needed to give Dan more time to adjust.

Dan whined when Phil teased but it was quickly turned into a moan when he entered him. He was glad that Phil gave him the time to adjust since it had been a while.

"Mmhh you can move babe, just build up slowly so I can tell. It all seems fine though, fuck you feel good inside me," he pushed back against Phil, willing him to move.

"Mmhm," Phil responded with the soft noise and slowly pushed a little farther in before rocking back out, not filling Dan completely but doing as Dan said, building up. Wanting to make Dan feel good first, he tried to stifle his moan and Dan heard him.

"Don't try to stop yourself, I love how you sound," He said and the end of the sentence turned into a little moan.

He missed this. He missed having Phil like this. He wanted to touch him somehow so he reached up behind his head, wanting to bring the top half of Phil to meet his body so he made grabbing motions with his hand.

Phil leaned forward and lined his body up with Dan’s, his mouth connecting to the side of Dan's neck. He kissed along the soft skin, missing how it felt under his lips. His hands roamed Dan's sides and front, touching every bit he could.

"I missed you," Phil said softly as he rocked his hips more, pressing in just a little farther each time.

"Missed you too," Dan said as he started moving to meet Phil's thrusts. "I'm fine, I'm not sore. We're good," He said and pushed back harder as if to prove his point.

Dan's hand entangled in Phil's hair over his shoulder and he moaned softly.

"So good," he mumbled.

"I'm just nervous, I love you so much," Phil said and rocked his hips forward to fill Dan completely, finally giving Dan what he wanted.

He let out a soft moan, pressing his face into Dan's shoulder. He started moving properly and fast now, rocking his hips back and forth, filling Dan each time.

Dan moaned louder.

"I love you too, I love you" He meant it, and he felt emotional suddenly about everything. This was what it was meant to be, they loved each other and were showing it.

"I love you," Dan said again, more clearly and it was almost like it was just dawning on him how much he actually meant it.

Phil pulled out of Dan for a moment and turned him around, passionately crashing their lips together and pulling Dan down to the floor. Phil was hovering over Dan now, staring down at the beautiful boy.

"Wow," Phil said softly, he would never get used to Dan. He leaned back down and connected their lips again, adjusting himself to thrust back inside.

Dan kissed back happily and moaned against his mouth as Phil entered him again. His hands went around Phil's waist to pull him closer. It was perfect. Phil was perfect. He kissed Phil's neck softly and made little noises as Phil thrust in and out.

Phil picked up the pace and started angling himself to hit Dan's sweet spot. His hand tangled in Dan's hair as he pulled his head back to kiss him, which quickly turned into Phil just moaning against Dan's mouth.

Dan bit at Phil's lip to keep his own noises down. He started moving his hips up to meet Phil's.

"Mmhh Phil," Dan moaned and made his hands curl around Phil's hips.

"Louder," Phil purred and moved his hand down between them to start stroking Dan's cock. He missed everything about this. Phil thrusted harder.

Dan moaned louder as he thrusted up into Phil's hand and down onto Phil's cock and his moans got louder. His cheeks were red and his eyes closed as he let the feelings take over and stopped thinking about everything.

"Phil," he moaned his name and gripped him tighter, nails digging into his hips a little.

Phil moved faster, his moans getting louder and lower.

"Ah fuck Dan," he moaned, burying his face into Dan's neck and kissing it harshly. "I'm so close,"

Phil kept the motion of his hand up, expertly moving his thumb over Dan's slit.

Dan nodded and his hand tangled in Phil's hair, liking Phil's mouth on him.

"Mh me too, don't stop," Dan said breathily as he drew closer.

Phil thrusted harder, his legs shaking a bit.

"Oh god, shit, Dan," Phil moaned louder, thrusting a few more times before he came, not stopping his motions. "I love you," Phil said again, kissing Dan's jaw and moving to his lips.

Dan came just after Phil, thrusting into his hand and moaning Phil's name loudly, his breath uneven and shaky as he let Phil kiss him and moaned against his lips in return.

Phil slowed down his motions, his breathing shaky. he collapsed over Dan, resting his head into his shoulder now. Phil pulled out slowly, kissing Dan's shoulder.

"I needed that," Phil said laughing a little.

Dan smiled and loosely wrapped his arms around Phil.

"Me too," He said breathily. "Love you," he added and drew little patterns on Phil's lower back. "You still have your pants around your ankles," Dan said giggling.

Phil laughed softly.

"I couldn't be bothered to take them off,"  he leaned in and kissed Dan's lips, still overwhelmed with this sense of relief because he wasn't going to lose Dan to a sickness.

Dan hugged him and kissed him back.

"I'm so glad that everything is okay," He said softly. "It's like... I can move on from it now, we both can," He kissed him again softly just enjoying the feeling of Phil's lips against his.

"Yep," Phil agreed simply.

It felt like Dan was reading his thoughts, and could just feel how much more relaxed he was now.

"Want to get dressed so we can finish making dinner?" Phil asked, not moving away from Dan just yet, giving them more time to enjoy each other

Dan nuzzled against Phil. Then a thought occurred to him. He initiated this, so did he have to pay Phil? He didn't really care, he just didn't know if that was a thing with normal sex.

"Um..." Dan said quietly and kissed Phil's neck. "Do I like, should I pay you like... Cause I initiated and stuff... yeah?" He looked up at Phil curiously.

Phil laughed.

"What?" he said looking at Dan and smiling. "You don't have to pay me silly," Phil kissed Dan softly. "You weren't working and neither was I, that was just us having sex because we wanted it, we're a couple."

Dan smiled and chuckled.

"Yes, okay, I just wasn't sure that's all. That's the first time I have ever had sex while not working,"

He made quotation marks with his fingers when he said 'not working' because it never felt like work with Phil but until this point it still technically had been.

"I know, love," Phil smiled and kissed Dan's forehead. "Come on, lets finish making dinner,"

Phil pulled away and sat up, pulling his pants up and pulling the condom off to throw it away. he looked over at Dan who still had come on him.

"You can go wash up if you like."

Dan stretched, laying there on the ground.

"I could just stay here, It's kinda comfy when you get used to it," He giggled and sat up. "I think I will quickly shower to cleaned this up." He pointed to his stomach.

He stood up and kissed Phil's cheek before going off to the bathroom, and this time he didn't close the door. It wasn't because Dan was trying to get Phil to shower with him, it was because he wasn't sick and there was no reason to block Phil out. He didn't need to build walls up between them because everything was fine now.

This time, when Dan turned the tap on, he had a smile on his face instead of tears in his eyes.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That wasn't so bad was it?


	27. Don't Care What You Think (As Long As It's About Me)

 

A few days passed and soon enough Dan was back on his job and Phil was sitting in the crowd watching the dancers. Dan had said he would have to have a big performance to have an impression, and Phil would be lying if he said he wasn't excited to see Dan dance again. As many times as he had seen Dan dance, he still got pulled in as he watched him. Maybe it was because Dan actually looked like he was having fun when he danced on stage.

Dan was backstage getting ready. It was almost time for him to go on stage and he was strangely nervous. It had been a while and he really had to impress his audience; he wanted them all to remember why they were usually all over him.

His boss hadn't been too happy about him being away for as long as he had either, and when Dan had explained the HIV scare, his boss had just nodded and walked away. Dan hated how everything was fake here. Had his results been positive, his boss would have had the same careless reaction, the only difference being that he would have been kicked out.

Regardless of all this, he was excited. He loved dancing and having everyone’s attention on him and turning the audience on, and he was excited to get to know that feeling again because he had missed it. The song he had picked tonight was interesting, he wanted one that had impact, was sexy and that he could relate to.

The music started and Dan got ready to walk out on stage. It was silent out there. He bit his lip and walked out confidently onto centre stage. He stood there and eyed up the audience, smirking at them. He could already hear the cheers because he was back. He blocked them out for now and started to move his body with the music, only a little to start with. He made sure to make eye contact with people in the audience that he knew were usually keen on him, that wanted him.

He had 5 minutes to make these strangers fall in love for the night. His hips started moving in small figure-eights as he let his fingers lightly run up his sides before pinging his suspenders out and smirking. He mouthed along with the first line of the song and sat on the  step on the stage. "Say my name and his in the same breath..." he did a small routine he had planned for that point in the song then ran his hands over his thighs and bit his lip, meeting Phil's eyes in the audience and smirking even bigger. He stood up and walked closer to the front of the stage. Dan's legs parted slightly as he rolled his body and dropped downward, ending with him kneeling on the ground, licking his lips as his hands ran up his body again.

He had complete control now, he could do anything he wanted and the audience would eat it up. He slipped his fingers beneath his suspenders again and snapped them out and they came back flicking against him. He opened his mouth a little, keeping his smirk and playing about with his eyes. He rolled his hips again, hands slipping down so they were sitting under the waistline of his trousers before he rolled and stood up again. It was all a teasing game, and he had power over every part of it.

Phil was smiling back at Dan when the boy looked at him. He watched his lips as Dan bit them and his mouth hung open slightly. He was thinking to himself how no one would ever know those lips like he did. Phil loved seeing Dan enjoy himself on stage, it reminded Phil of the first time he sat here watching Dan. Only thing different this time was that he knew the boy was his already.

Dan pushed the suspenders off of his shoulders and took his shirt off slowly, making sure his hands ran over his torso and pinched his nipples in the process, again his mouth falling open a little. He dropped the shirt onto the floor then strutted over to the pole, leaning his back against it as he undid his pants, pulling them off quickly before putting one arm above his head on the pole and rolling his body down,  using the pole as leverage.

He was wearing different shorts tonight, far more revealing than normal. They covered what they needed to and the rest had big slashes out of the material showing a lot of skin. He got to the ground and ran both his hands down his chest, over his crotch and onto his thighs as he thrusted up against nothing.

Phil was shocked for a moment seeing Dan's new clothing. Dan had said that he had to make an impact, but Phil wasn't expecting what he saw. Phil pulled his eyes away from Dan just for a second to judge the crowd. As expected, all eyes were on him, hypnotized and pulled in like always. He returned his attention to Dan, fixating on the way his hands caressed his own skin, wishing he could touch it again. That was part of what made Dan's dancing so exciting; right now he couldn't touch anything, no one could, it was all for Dan.

Dan ran his fingers over the sides of his shorts where it revealed his skin before turning and experimentally spinning a few times on the pole, reacquainting himself with it. He rolled his body a few times and smirked before hooking his leg around the pole and climbing up it partially. He almost felt superior from where he was now; everyone else had their careers and respectable lives but none of them could do what he did, and in that moment, that was what mattered.

Everyone in the audience both lusted after him and wished they could be more like him, even if just for a few hours. None of them would actually want his life but through the rose tinted glasses they all wore, his life looked amazing, preferable even. He didn't usually use the pole in his routine so he decided to show off a little today. He moved one leg out so it was almost parallel with the pole and gripped the pole with one hand, propelling himself so he moved around the pole, his body extended and on display for everyone to see, the lights dancing over his tanned skin.

He brought his legs back together and wrapped them around the pole, letting go of his hands and letting himself fall upside down, grabbing the pole near the bottom and climbing with his hands up more, displaying his flexibility. He was the product and he needed to show them all his body could do, and right now he was enjoying it.

Phil would be lying if he said he wasn't impressed. He had seen Dan use the pole before but never like this. The way Dan spun was enticing, and he guessed that's what Dan was going for. Phil, like the rest of the audience, was being pulled in and developing an even stronger desire for him. He never knew Dan to be this flexible, maybe because all the stuff they did never required him to be.

Dan continued like this, doing a range of complicated movements on the pole before jumping off of it and going over the centre of the stage again, his body rolling down till he was kneeling again. He was sucking on one of his fingers and making innocent eyes at the audience, making sure to lock eyes with Phil because he still liked how shocked Phil's face seemed when he danced. He ran his free hand over his crotch. He was turned on from this and it was fairly obvious, but he decided to make it more so by palming himself in front of everyone, opening his mouth and making a pleasured face as he did so.

After another few moments of moving around the dance floor sexually and suggestively and doing hip rolls, his routine ended and he smiled and winked at the crowd. He was meant to go out the back, partially redress and then wait for after-hours to be announced before coming back out... but instead he hopped off the side of the stage and went up to the bar, wearing nothing but the very revealing shorts. Claire rolled her eyes at him as he got the bar, handing him his drink without asking as she knew what he liked.

"What? I wanted to make an impact," he said laughing lightly.

"You did that alright," was her reply before muttering. "Be careful," and turning to serve others.

Phil was still stunned for a moment when he saw Dan walk past him still  in hardly anything. Phil's head followed him and it only took him a moment to stand up and follow Dan over there.

"Hi baby," Phil said smiling and sitting next to Dan, "You're amazing, you know that?" Phil gently put his hand on Dans lower back.

Dan grinned.

"Why thank you hun," Dan said winking.

He had to play the part, Phil knew that; he had to act like Phil was the same as every other customer while they were here, he couldn't act like they were together.

"Drink?" he said and nodded at Claire who came over and handed Phil the drink.

She was brilliant, knowing what everyone's usual was just like that. He gave Phil a small nod, just to remind him this was an act, that he was still his just not publicly here.

Phil smiled back at Dan, knowing how it was by now. He took his drink and sipped some of it.

"What's the chance of me being able to be with you tonight?" Phil asked intentionally now keeping the way he talked like how a customer would talk, not his boyfriend.

Dan smirked. It was kinda fun to act like this with Phil now that they both knew it was acting.

"Hmm, well that depends on what others are willing to pay for me really, I go to the highest bidder tonight because people will have missed me, and will be willing to pay a little extra to get some one on one attention from me, but at some point you know you will get to be with me baby," He cooed the end of his sentence.

To anyone else it would sound like the promise of a sale at some point, but to them it was a reassurance that Dan was his when work was over, that it was Phil he was going home to.

Phil gave him a soft and knowing nod. He was secretly hoping that no one came up to Dan but he knew that that wasn't going to happen, there was never a night where there weren't at least 3 guys who wanted a chance with him. Phil had just been lucky to be Dan's favorite and be the chosen one most nights.

"I know, I'm spoiled," Phil said, caressing Dan's back lightly before pulling away.

Dan almost said something back, but was stopped by the smile playing on his own lips when he felt someones hand on his other shoulder. He turned around to see a stranger smirking at him. Dan quickly looked over what he was wearing: a suit and dress-pants.

He probably a well-paid man, just back from a long day at work.

"Mmh Hey baby what can I do for you this evening?" he said, turning his body fully to face the stranger and not Phil.

His finger danced along the stranger's wrist lightly to keep his attention. Phil was taken back at first, losing Dan's attention so quickly. He glared slightly at the other man wishing for him to go away. This was the start of jealousy, now that Dan was his, actually his, it bothered him even more to just let Dan have sex with strangers. He had to keep reminding himself that it was Dan's job. He took another sip of his drink, turning away slightly to let Dan do what he wanted.

The man started running his hand along Dan's hip, biting his lip as he did so and watching Dan smirk.

"What's your name baby? I'm Greyson Bear... at your service," Dan purred out and moved a little closer to the man.

Phil pouted. He knew that he was acting a bit childish but the way the man was touching Dan's hip and the way that Dan was responding was bothering him. He kept trying to remind himself it was just an act, that Dan didn't feel anything for these men. It was all just an act.

"How much does it cost to get with you then?" The man said.

"I don't like to talk about figures babe but..." he leaned forward and whispered the prices into the man's ear, acting as flirty as he could to try and secure the deal.

In Dan's mind the faster he got customers, the quicker the night would be over with. Phil glanced over Dan's body: no mark left; his body was flawless and perfect so the price for Dan's affection tonight would be high again. He just hoped this would be over with soon so they could go back to Dan's flat and cuddle again.

"Can't afford that, sure you can't lower it?" The man said and Dan smirked.

"Sorry babe, If you can't afford me plenty of other guys can, there are guys with cheaper rates here, go find one," He turned away and looked at Phil again. "I'm the one that's spoiled," he said smiling at Phil, jumping right back into the conversation they were having before and acting like there hadn't been an interruption.

Phil was speechless for a moment from how easily Dan dismissed the other guy, Phil could have ended up as easily dismissed if he wasn't able to afford Dan that night. Not that Dan ever said the rates before pulling him to the back room. Phil smiled, that reminded him that Dan wanted to be with him just as badly as Phil wanted him.

"There aren’t guys chasing after me on a weekly basis," Phil said moving his hand to gently run up Dan's thigh. He wanted to touch Dan but had to remember to keep the motions flirty. "Is this okay?" he asked.

"It's all okay as long as it looks like you're trying to pick me up," Dan said quietly. "Like the shorts?" he asked, smirking.

There was another guy coming towards him but he could talk for a few minutes with Phil. It was actually good; it made the other guys think they had to work more to get his attention.

"I do," Phil said, slipping his fingers under the straps. "You look gorgeous tonight," Phil said smiling, relaxing a little because he had Dan's attention again. "I like watching you dance. You always look so happy."

Dan bit his lip a little, he didn't want to sleep with a stranger. Instead he wanted to take Phil out the back room and be with him.

"That's because I love it, it's fun and everyone watches me and the looks on people's faces... It just makes me feel sexy,"

He let his own fingers sit against Phil's hip lightly rubbing little circles, it would look like he was trying to make Phil buy him to anyone else, but to them it was more than that, although Dan wouldn't mind Phil buying him right now if it meant fucking him instead of a stranger.

Phil leaned a little closer, he wanted Dan so badly; it wasn't fair that he had to wait and see what other people would pay for him before he got to take his boyfriend home.

"You are always sexy," he purred wanting Dan to choose him for the night.

Dan made a small noise of irritation, he was already turned on and Phil was looking at him like that and he just wanted him. No one was bothering them right now because of their proximity. He let his fingers trace along Phil's waistband teasingly.

"If I don't move away from you, everyone will think that you are gonna be my first customer and not approach me..." He said quietly.

But he didn't want to move, he had his work voice on and at this point was actively trying to seduce Phil, he wanted him to offer again just so he could have him.

"I'm not the highest bidder," Phil said, both of his hands under the leather straps on Dans hip.

He wanted to be Dan's first customer, to please Dan who was already turned on and excited from his own dancing.

"Should I stop?" Phil asked, his hands not stopping caressing Dan's hips, getting ever closer to his crotch.

"No," Dan said a little breathily, his mouth falling open a little.

He could play a little right? Guys had actually fucked him out there and not out the back room, there really wasn't any rules so if he wanted to hang around Phil a little longer and let the teasing continue it could, there were worse things going on around them.

"The highest bidder won't be as hot as you though," he said smirking and dipping his fingertips under Phil's waistband for just a second before pulling them back and caressing his hip again.

Phil pulled Dan up and closer so the younger boy was standing and straddling his leg now.

"That's true," he guided Dan's hips so he would grind his crotch against Phil's leg. "I want you," Phil said softly, tilting his face up toward Dan, wanting to kiss him really badly but not wanting to risk that out here since other potential customers would want to kiss Dan too if they saw. Phil wanted kissing to always be something only he got to do.

Dan couldn't help but roll his hips a little against Phil's leg, providing himself with some needed friction.

"Then have me,"  he leaned his forehead against Phil's shoulder. "You know how to make me feel good baby, they don't," He paused, feeling a little silly. "I don't wanna go with one of them while I feel like this."

He rolled his hips again to animate what he meant.

"Think about it from my point of view, going off with one of them now when you're right here," he was speaking quietly, close to Phil's ear so no one could hear. He reached forward and let his hand lightly run over Phil's crotch to find that he was hard as well.

Phil wrapped his arms around Dan's lower back.

"Please let me buy you tonight," Phil said, holding tightly to the younger boy.

He didn't want to let anyone else have him right now, with how close they were it wouldn't be right for either of them to let Dan go to someone else. And it wasn't like Phil would be Dan's only customer so Dan could still make a lot of money from someone else tonight.

Dan was past the point of caring with money, he was in a kind of safe zone where he knew Phil wouldn't let him get kicked out his flat or anything like that; Phil would help if he needed it, but he wanted independence. Right now though he wanted sex, and Phil was offering it to him now.

"Yes, please yes," he muttered and kissed Phil's neck softly. He giggled a little at the thought, it was like some kind of weird role play, a guy  buying his boyfriend as a hooker.

Phil smiled and pulled Dan's hips closer again.

"I love you," he whispered into Dan's ear, it would look like playful flirting to anyone else looking at them.

He was excited, it had been a while since they had sex here, and the atmosphere of being in the club was a lot different from the atmosphere of when they were at one of their apartments.

"Want to go to your room then," Phil said softly dragging his teeth across Dan's neck.

Dan had to make this more real again.

"Sure baby," Dan said smirking and sitting back a little before hopping up and walking in front of Phil, expecting him to follow. He was very aware suddenly of how much of his butt was on show for Phil walking behind him.

Phil stared at Dan's ass, it was almost completely visible only covered by a few straps of leather. He couldn’t wait to have his hands all over him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays everyone, sorry if this was kinda a tease, I can only make chapters so long before a new event happens that ends up being 20 pages (yes that means 20 pages of sex next week)


	28. Take You Higher

Phil followed Dan to the back room and closed the door behind them, not wasting another second until he was all over Dan. His hands roamed down to the younger boy's ass, slipping easily under the leather as he jerked the boy's hips forward. Their mouths collided, Phil kissing him feverishly. Dan really did know how to work up an audience.

Dan let himself be pulled closer to Phil and kissed back eagerly, letting Phil dominate the kiss as he was curious how Phil would take things. Phil was usually careful with him, emotional and sentimental, whereas this Phil now wasn't and it was really turning Dan on even more. He could feel Phil's hands everywhere and he loved it. He pushed his hips forward against Phil's again and moaned against his lips, his own hands slipping under Phil's shirt and going straight to his chest, aiming to edge this side of Phil on.

Phil let out a soft moan pressing his chest forward into Dan's hands.

"Dan," Phil whined. he started tugging down Dan's shorts.

He bit at Dan's lip once before moving to his neck, being a bit more careful with the delicate skin there, but still nipping and sucking at his neck. Dan knew he didn't need to warn Phil not to mark him so he just moaned lightly then spoke to try work him up a little more.

"Oh my little performance made Phil all horny did it? Do you like seeing me up there? Move like that? What about me on the pole baby..." He was trying to put images in Phil's head.

He moaned again at the sensation of Phil on his neck and he pulled phil closer by his belt loops.

"You made yourself horny up there too," Phil groaned grabbing at Dan's ass more. "I saw  how hard you were," his teeth grazing over Dan’s shoulder. "I want you to kneel on the bed with your ass facing me." Phil ordered, smacking Dan's ass with one hand.

He was being a lot more careless than he was the other day when they had had sex.

Dan  liked this. It was exciting.

"As you wish," He purred out before walking over to the bed and doing as requested.

He knelt on the bed with his legs spread and his ass towards Phil. He turned and looked over his shoulder and smirked at Phil, one hand going to his own ass and running over it before spreading one cheek a little, knowing he still had his leather shorts on so Phil couldn't see anything; it would just serve to tease.

Phil stepped over to Dan and pushed him forward so his face was in the duvet but his ass was still in the air. Phil pulled Dan's shorts down, exposing Dan in front of him now. Not waiting another moment, he leaned forward and spread Dan with his hands and flicked his tongue over the younger boy's entrance repeatedly, teasing Dan.

Dan smirked against the sheet when his face was pushed down; this was unlike anything else he had experienced, Phil was asserting his dominance and Dan liked it, and wasn't scared of it. He turned his face to the side and bit his lip when he felt the material slip down his thighs, his mouth fell open when he felt an unfamiliar feeling,  he felt it again and a moan slipped out. Phil's wet warm tongue running over his entrance felt so amazing and now he understood why guys liked this so much.

"Oh shit," Dan moaned lightly and bit on one of his fingers as a distraction.

Phil smirked at Dan's reaction and moved his tongue a bit more, pushing slightly inside and bringing his lips down to kiss Dan's hole. He brought one of his fingers up and licked around it as he pushed it in slightly, his tongue following, licking more passionately than before.

Dan moaned at the feeling of Phil's tongue slipping into him along with his finger. He  moaned again and pushed back onto Phil's tongue a little needier.

"Mhhh no one had done this to me before," he said with a short breath.

Phil moaned softly, enjoying what he was doing for the younger boy.

"They missed out," Phil said, returning to Dan's entrance, his finger pushing in more while he slid his tongue in and out.

"Oh fuck," Dan moaned and bit down hard on his lip. He didn't want to come across as too needy but it felt amazing. "Please don't stop," he whined a little.

Phil smirked and pushed in another finger, licking between them and earning more sounds from Dan he was adoring, he always loved the sounds Dan made during sex. He curved the fingers that were inside Dan toward his sweet spot, wanting to add more sensations to make Dan start begging for him. Phil didn't stop flicking his tongue across the sensitive skin.

Dan turned his face back around and buried it in the mattress and moaned loudly. Then he propped himself up on his arms because he needed to move or do something because of how intense the sensations were.

"Phil," Dan moaned loudly and pushed back onto the fingers inside him, his eyes closed and focused on how Phil's tongue felt on him. "Mmh fuck Phil please I need you, I need more,"

At first Phil didn't stop what he was doing, continuing the motion of his fingers along with his tongue. Then he slowly pulled his mouth away, kissing along Dan's lower back while his fingers continued pleasuring Dan.

"You sound so amazing," Phil purred, placing soft kisses against his skin. Slowly he removed his fingers, "How do you want me to have you?" Phil asked, stepping back from Dan and removing his own shirt and pants in two swift motions. He wanted Dan to decide his position now.

"Mmhh I don't care," Dan said, clenching around nothing and wanting it to be around Phil. "You choose, you bought me," He said smirking but his cheeks were flushed and his lip bitten red, there is no denying how much he wanted this right now.

Phil stepped over to Dan's drawer and grabbed a condom and some lube. "Yeah, but I've always liked pleasing you," Phil smiled and turned Dan over and crawled onto the bed over him and trapped him between his arms. "You're all mine," Phil said and leaned down to kiss Dan's neck again. "Touch me," he moaned softly against the younger boy's skin.

Dan moaned lightly and smirked at Phil's request. He reached down and ran his fingers over Phil's thighs and hips teasingly before lightly tracing his fingers over Phil's length.

"I like it when you tell me what to do," he confessed as he took Phil in his hand properly and started to stroke him.

Phil made a soft noise of pleasure into Dan's neck, getting harder now that the younger boy was touching him.

"You're cute," Phil said, smirking and rocking his hips forward into Dan's hand. He kept this up for a moment then pulled back and looked over the younger boy. "Scoot up the bed and hold your legs up," Phil said, giving Dan the commands that he wanted.

Dan did as requested, lifting his legs up then pausing.

"Do you want them together or apart?" he asked curious about what position Phil was putting him in.

His shorts were still around his thighs and he wanted to push them off but waited for Phil's answer.

"Apart," Phil said, helping Dan remove the shorts and pushing his legs back, then sitting back and looking at Dan displayed for him with his legs open wide. The best part of it was that Dan wanted him, he was eager and waiting.

Phil moved closer, pulling Dan's legs to wrap around his own waist. Phil still hadn't put on the condom yet, he was just taking in how badly they both wanted to be here with each other. That's what got the two of them here in the first place this night. His hands ran up Dan's thighs and hips, moving to his sides and up his chest, to his collar. Phil leaned in close to kiss Dan's cheek.

Dan wanted him so badly, he had this sudden urge to just pull him closer, to not bother with the condom and just have it be Phil. He blushed a little at his thoughts, he had never had an urge for that before.

"Mmmhhh please," he moaned then reached down between them and pushed two fingers into himself, eyes still locked with Phil.

Phil looked over Dan greedily, not wanting to wait any longer. Phil sat back and grabbed the condom, quickly covering himself, and putting lubricant on. He looked back at Dan and could see all the want behind the boy's eyes as he fingered himself. Any other day he would want to watch Dan pleasure himself a little while longer, but he couldn't wait any more now. Phil positioned himself over Dan and pulled Dan's working hand away, holding it above Dan's head on the bed. He then lined his cock up with Dan's entrance, quickly pushing in to fill the younger boy.

Dan moaned loudly as Phil entered him. The careful Phil from the other day was gone and this Phil was taking control and Dan loved it. He felt at Phil's mercy to a certain extent, and with that came no fear, just excitement of what Phil wanted and what Phil would do. One of his arms was already pinned on the bed by Phil and he liked that, so he put his other arm next to it, just lightly suggesting that Phil should pin that one also. He whined and rocked his hips, loving the feeling of being so full while so turned on.

Phil smirked at how Dan had just submitted to him. He rolled his hips to thrust into Dan, not waiting for Dan to adjust any more. He picked up the pace slightly. His free hand trailed down Dan's chest and sides. He grabbed Dan's leg by his thigh and pushed him forward as he started thrusting harder inside Dan. Gripping tighter to the wrist he was holding onto.

Dan moaned loudly, his mouth falling open and small noises escaping him between breaths.

"Mmhh Phil, so good," he whined and arched his back a little, letting Phil move his legs however he wanted to. His other hand lay next to his restrained one, back of his hand to the mattress and palm open, completely relaxed with what was happening. He decided to play a little.

"Mhh Phil make me louder, don't you want my voice to be hoarse later so all those men out there know that you made me scream?"

Phil moved Dan's leg and put it over his shoulder, thrusting deeper inside Dan now. He put his hand on Dan's shoulder close to his neck, gripping slightly onto him.

"I want them to hear you from here," Phil said in a low voice, moaning.

Dan met Phil's eyes and moaned loudly, "Mmmmh fuck, yeah,"

His voice was a little shaky, he tried to keep it normal but failed.

"God you feel so good inside me fuck," he moaned louder and closed his eyes for a second, getting lost in the feeling.

"You are mine," Phil said in the same low voice he had been using.

He couldn't get over how hot Dan looked under him, seemed like the first time he was seeing the boy really lose himself. Phil slowed down his motions but worked on hitting inside Dan harder, aiming for the spot inside Dan to make him scream. He slowly pulled himself out before slamming back in.

"Can you feel how much you're taking," Phil purred as he filled Dan completely.

Dan let out a low groaning noise as his free hand gripped the bed sheet. He could feel every inch slide into him and it felt amazing, being so aware of it. He nodded almost frantically.

"Yeah, yeah fuck. I can," his eyes were still closed as he focused on the feeling of Phil's cock. "Mmhhh shit," He moaned loudly, his body shuddering a little because he just felt so sensitive right now.

Phil made a soft moan, responding to Dan's physical reaction.

"God you're so sexy," Phil purred.

He let go of Dan's wrist and lowered the younger boy's leg so it was resting on his hip again.  His hands went to Dan's sides as he lifted him up, arching the lower boy's back and thrusting harder inside him.

"Fuck!" Dan yelled out loudly, eyes shooting open and arms reaching out beside him to grip onto the bed. "Mmmhhh fuck fuck,"

He looked up at Phil, eyes dark as he arched his back further to help with the positioning. He was still shuddering a little because of his overload of sensations and wants.

"Mmh Phil Phil, Phil can I touch myself?" he muttered out breathing harshly, one hand moving to his stomach in anticipation and moans kept escaping him every time Phil hit that spot.

"Yes," Phil responded in a breathy voice, not slowing down. It was all building up and felt so perfect. He moaned loudly, holding tighter onto Dan.

Dan's hand went to his own cock and he started pumping, his moans increasing as he drew closer,

"Mmmhhh Phil Phil Phil Phil," Dan was losing control of talking and just mindlessly saying Phil's name over and over as he slammed into him.

Phil moaned louder.

"Ah fuck Dan," he kept up his pace, having a hard time holding them up as he was losing himself. "Shit, I'm so close," he gasped and gripped tighter onto Dan's sides.

Dan was still basically panting Phil's name, along with random "fuck"'s and "oh my god"'s. He was pushing himself against Phil's cock needfully, still moaning. Suddenly went quiet for a few seconds, not hearing anything but feeling everything. He slammed back to reality and basically screamed Phil's name, high pitched and desperate. Moments later he was coming all over his stomach and hand as he saw white and came harder than he ever had before.

Phil's moans got louder as he saw Dan come and felt him tense around him. He set him down onto the bed and pushed his legs forward again to continue thrusting. He called Dan's name and collapsed on top of him, rolling his hips a few more times and letting out a low moan as he came. Phil turned his face and placed a few gentle kisses along the younger boy's neck and jawline.

Dan kept moaning while Phil kept slamming into him, just taking it. He loved how good Phil felt in that moment and it was his body getting him there. When Phil stilled and started to kiss his neck and jaw, Dan reached a hand out and put it on Phil's arm, not wanting to speak yet. Little residual moans were still escaping him and the odd little tremor of his body. He had never felt so alive before.

Phil's breathing was shaky, he was still laying on top of Dan, worn out from the orgasm. There was nothing to say at that moment and it felt so perfect, he smiled and pulled out of Dan as he rolled to the side, rolling Dan with him so they were still facing each other. Phil moved his hand carefully and rested it in Dan's hair.

Dan smiled at Phil. They lay there in comfortable silence for a little while before Dan moved so his lips where near Phil's ear and whispered.

"I love you," it was all he had to say right now, there was no point him explaining how amazing that was for him and ask how it was for Phil; they knew.

They both knew. They both shared the experience, it was theirs and couldn't be taken from them. So Dan lazily pressed a kiss into Phil's hair, and it was enough.

"I love you too," he smiled back. They laid there for a little while longer and cuddled before eventually Dan had to go back.

Phil got up and got dressed, pulling some money out for Dan and then crawling back onto the bed.

"The money is just so your Boss doesn’t wonder why you were short” Phil comments before Dan can object to the payment. “Love you, I'll be waiting at the bar when you're done, we can go home together," he said kissing Dan's forehead and heading back out to the bar.

Dan sat there for a little while. Usually this time was where he tried to rid himself of the memory of what just happened, clear his head and mentally prepare for another. But this was entirely different. Sitting here now he was trying to commit the experience to memory, make it so he could recall it when he needed it. It had been perfect and he didn't want to forget it.

He eventually got up and took a shower, getting himself clean and ready to go back out there. It would have been an ordinary shower if he hasn't been smiling the whole time. It must have been the only shower he had ever had at work with a grin on his face. When he was ready, he went back out.

He saw Phil and smiled at him but didn't go near him since it was too easy to just get pulled in by Phil and then he would never get any work done. It didn't take long before another guy came up to him and Dan started to go through his usual motions. Smirk the right ways, bite your lip, make your eyes twinkle. He felt like he had a protective bubble around him though, a warmth that couldn't be broken. It was all because he was going home after this with someone who loved him; he wasn't a loser who would curl up alone later and recall bad memories anymore. Instead he would be cuddled up to the chest of the most perfect person he had ever met and so Dan considered himself the luckiest person in the world.

He eventually went out the back room with the stranger, and it didn't feel as bad as usual. It was like whatever he and Phil had created before had left a shield on him, and he felt safe in it. The stranger didn't hurt him; he just fucked him. Before Phil, Dan always imagined that everytime a stranger fucked him or did something sexual with him the stranger took a thread from his soul away and discarded it the same way all the strangers discarded him, and it had been getting threadbare in recent months, in dire need of repair. With this stranger ut didn't feel like that. Also after Phil turned up, he replaced all the missing threads with kisses to his temple and cuddles at night, whenever they enterwined their fingers or Dan cried on his shoulder, he was fixing him, and he felt whole again.

After his second shower of the night and some extra care taken to make his hair look nice for Phil, he made his way back out to the bar, sitting next to him.

"Hey you," he said softly, taking a sip from the drink he had grabbed on the way over.

"Hey lovely," Phil smiled at Dan, who was made up all nice again. "You ready to go home?" he asked, putting a hand on Dan's back. Dan seemed to have a glow about him still.

The bar was not very full now so Dan was more relaxed. He drank the rest of his drink and nodded.

"Mhm most definitely, we didn't get cuddles so you owe me some," he said playfully and stood up, walking outside with Phil.

They were gonna get a taxi home and as soon as they were out of the club Dan found Phil's hand and intertwined their fingers.

Phil smiled, liking how they were able to act more like the couple they were now that they were out of the club.

They got in the taxi and Phil leaned over and kissed Dan's cheek.

"I'm gonna cuddle you so hard when we get back," Phil said laughing slightly.  He nuzzled his face into Dan's shoulder.

Dan grinned and let his arm wrap around Phil's shoulder.

"You have my permission to hug me as hard as you like, my safe word is potato," He burst into a fit of giggles at his own humor then glanced down at Phil, mentally compiling a list of everything perfect about his face for the rest of the taxi ride.

Phil laughed, his tongue sticking out slightly. He liked that they shared a sense of humor. Phil couldn’t look away from Dan the whole ride back.

Eventually they made it back to Dan's apartment and Phil wrapped his arms around Dan's waist as they walked inside.

"Couch or bed? If we're going to bed I wanna brush my teeth and shower before we cuddle," he said casually kissing Dan's shoulder.

"Bed," Dan said. "Go but be quick, I will make tea, and you better be out when I'm done cause that's official cuddle time," He said grinning and  kissed Phil's cheek before going into the kitchen to make tea for them both.

Phil ran off to the shower quickly, washing the sweat and any traces of come that were left on him still. He got out and got into his pajamas, starting to brush his teeth he stepped into the hallway to see if Dan was done making the tea.

Dan was walking up with the tea when he saw Phil pop out still brushing his teeth and couldn't help but smile, it was cute. He put the mugs on the bedside table and went into the bathroom and started brushing his teeth too. When he finished, Phil was in the room and so Dan practically skipped down the  hall and when he got there kissed his lips softly.

"Minty kisses," he stated before quickly taking his jeans and shirt off. He paused, "You're still okay If I sleep in just boxers right? I mean I showered and everything; I'm clean," He looked at Phil and Phil laughed.

"No, after all this time of sleeping with you naked, now I don't want you to be undressed." he said sarcastically, stepping closer and putting his hands on Dan's waist. "It's fine love," he ran his hands up Dan's sides delicately.

He didn't care if Dan had been touched by someone else, it was still Dan and Phil could replace those touches, Dan didn't need to be quarantined after every encounter with someone.

Dan smiled and leaned his head on Phil's shoulder. Of course Phil didn't mind, Phil was perfect like that. Dan pulled away and got into bed, pulling Phil along by his wrist.

"Cuddles now," he stated with a mock pout.

Phil hopped onto the bed and opened his arms for Dan to snuggle up with him. this was the part that made Dan's job worth it; when he got to cuddle in bed with this beautiful boy and love him with all his heart.

Dan got as close as he could to Phil, his head resting in the crook of Phil's neck and his arms going around him. He sighed contentedly and closed his eyes. He didn't want to sleep, he just wanted to relax and be happy in this moment. Phil kissed the top of Dan's head, wrapping his arm around the younger boys lower back. He smiled and allowed his eyes to close too.

"I know I say it a lot, but I love you so much," Phil said running his hand along Dan's back.

"I love you too, you're perfect," They were silent for a while, listening to each other's breathing until Dan broke it. "I just... I just feel like you're putting me back together, with every little thing you do it's like you are making me a better person."

He sounded like he was continuing a conversation, but he was just continuing his thoughts out loud.

Phil opened his eyes and looked at Dan, he didn't know what he was supposed to say to that. He shuffled his body, trying to get even more close then they already were, putting one of his legs over Dan's.

"You've always been a good person," Phil said, putting his hand up to rest in Dan's hair.

Dan shook his head.

"Doesn't matter if I am or not. Strangers take parts away from me. Threads.. and you are fixing it. I don't know how. But you're saving me." He said and leaned up and kissed Phil softly. "You don't need to say anything, I just wanted you to know that. I love you," he said before kissing him again then cuddling close, head on his chest and a smile on his face.

"I love you too," Phil whispered, pressing his face into Dan's hair and letting his eyes close again.

He understood what Dan meant, and honestly he was glad he was doing what he had wanted to do which was to save Dan. Just a little bit at a time.

They were silent again, cuddling and enjoying each other until Dan fell asleep, the physical effort of his evening crashing down on him and pulling him under into sleepless dreams with a smile on his face as right in this moment his reality was happier than any potential dream he could have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @w@ more sex to go along with my sims. if you havent seen my sims go to the twitter account phantasticfic, and look through the photos there, you will understand once you are there.


	29. Trouble In Paradise

 

Dan woke up the next morning and was greeted by already-made breakfast. Phil was really getting into the habit of living with the other boy, now his own empty apartment seemed so cold and far away from where he wanted to be. They spent most of their day cuddling and watching tv, but soon enough it was time for Dan to leave, so he got prepared and was on his way to head out the door.

"Wait! Before you go," Phil said, grabbing Dan's wrist and pulling him back into himself.

He wrapped his arms around Dan’s waist.

"I love you," Phil smiled, kissing Dan's lips. "I'll be here when you get back, okay?”

He gave him some more kisses. Phil didn't like having to let Dan go alone to work, he wanted to be there right away if someone hurt him, but he had some work to do before his radio show and couldn't spend every night at the club. He said goodbye and hopped onto the couch, opening his computer to get to work for the next few hours.

Dan's night went surprisingly well, so he was in a good mood when he arrived home. He was relaxed and at ease, the opposite to most nights where he was either physically frustrated or just plain exhausted. He came home and saw Phil still working at his computer.

"Hey, baby, why you still working? It’s late," he said, sitting next to him and giving him a sideways hug, yawning.

"Yeah, I've gotten used to staying up late with you though," Phil said, setting his computer on the coffee table.

He noticed Dan seemed a lot more relaxed then usual. It was confusing him already- even on nights where it was just plain sex, he was tense when he was done.

"How was your night?" Phil asked, turning toward Dan more and putting his arm around him.

Dan smiled a little and cuddled closer. "It was good actually," he said smirking a little at the memory. He’d had good customers who actually bothered about him as well as themselves, and although it was nothing compared to sex with Phil, it was a pleasant change to being hurt or left frustrated.

Phil was confused. It was good? Dan was smiling at the memory of it. He felt a bit defensive- Dan had had sex with someone else and it was good and Phil wasn’t involved in any way.

"Oh? What made it so good?" Phil asked.

Dan hadn't noticed Phil's confusion yet so answered without much bother.

"Most clients are pricks that don't care, but I tonight both my clients bothered with me as well as themselves," he said. "Which makes a pleasant change."

He didn't elaborate on what he meant by that, surely Phil would get that a customer who got him off made a pleasant change from an abusive one.

Phil looked frustrated for a moment. Dan wasn’t being direct and he seemed so happy being with the other guys, it bothered him.

"So like... they got you off? You came with them?" He asked.

After he said that, it frustrated him more. Making Dan come was his job, he wasn’t supposed to like it with other people.

Dan glanced up at Phil, there was something in voice he hadn't heard before and couldn't quite place.

"Um yeah..?" He said looking at him questioningly. "Is that a problem..?"

He didn't understand, Phil clearly knew what his job was long before now. Phil looked away and thought about it. It shouldn't be a problem. What was wrong with Dan enjoying his work? Phil liked his own job.

"Well, no, I guess...." Phil paused. He wasn’t thinking straight, but it was bothering him so much. "I just wasn’t aware you liked getting fucked by strangers."

Dan was still leaning against Phil but he heard his last comment and tensed up, sitting back and looking at him with shock on his face.

"Wait.. what? What’s that supposed to mean?" Dan said, his voice a little higher. Was Phil honestly upset with him because he wasn't hurt tonight?

Phil looked back at Dan.

"Nothing, it doesn’t matter," he went defensive too.  "You just enjoy having sex with other guys, I get it, it doesn’t matter."

It felt like something he should have known. Dan had sex with other guys every week, right after Phil even. Last night Dan was in a good mood after being with someone else too, but Phil marked that as just Dan still being happy from being with him. Dan's jaw dropped a little.

"N-no, I enjoy the fact they didn't hurt me, or make me physically frustrated or uncomfortable," he said, sounding irritated because Phil should know better than that.

"Have you ever been fucked when you're not turned on and got no pleasure from it? Do you think that's a fun experience? How about fucked by two guys at once then? Or how about built up and been refused release to the point where you feel like you are gonna vomit?" He was angry now. "Oh, but sorry for hurting your ego Phil. I will make sure I get a client who wants to abuse me next time, okay?" He stood up and walked into the bedroom.

Phil sighed and threw his head back, he didn’t want Dan to be hurt either. He just wanted him all to himself.

Phil stood up and followed Dan to the bedroom. The door wasn’t closed but he just stood in the doorway.

"Dan?" he said softly, looking at the younger boy who was getting dressed into pajamas. He felt worse now that Dan felt the need to cover himself. "I'm sorry love, I don’t want you getting hurt."

Dan shot him a look.

"No, you were honest. But you didn't think about it. I called you when I was seriously hurt from a client remember? You weren’t mad at me then, but I actually have a night where I don't hurt and you are? Yes, they got me off. That doesn't mean I like sleeping with strangers, Phil. Having an orgasm is a mechanical thing, Jesus."

He muttered and got into bed, planning on ignoring Phil.

"I don't enjoy having sex with other guys," he said, quieter.

Phil sighed.

"I'm not mad at you, where are you getting that from?" he groaned and moved across the room to Dan's side of the bed, where he kneeled down and rested his arms and chin on the bedsheets. "Dan, I’m sorry... I didn’t mean I’d rather you get hurt, I don't want that." He didn’t know how to explain his jealousy without it sounding worse. "I just got scared that if someone else made you feel good, you would want them more than me."

"That's stupid," Dan muttered. "Did you not listen to me last night? You're fixing me, so I’m just gonna ditch you ‘cause someone else can make me come, am I? Last night I was so happy, the whole night, even when I was with the other guy because you made me so happy and feel so loved," Dan said, still looking annoyed. "And no one can make me feel as good as you do physically… A random guy fucking me could never even compare to what we have, because it's not just you fucking me, it's us having sex together, we both want it.  But don't be a jerk and think with your cock Phil, it's not attractive," He sighed and looked at Phil.

Phil pouted, he felt guilty.

"I know, you're right."  He was being stupid for thinking any of the things in the first place. "Dan... I'm glad you had a good day at work, I missed you while you were away," he moved his hand a bit closer to Dan's.

Dan's face got more sad looking than angry and he took Phil's hand.

"Just, it doesn't mean any of them will ever take your place. I know it must be hard to think about them seeing me like that but remember what I was like the first few times with you? With an act the whole time? That's what they see. Not me properly," he said, kissing Phil's hand.

Phil nodded.

"I ruined your good day didn't I?" Phil asked a bit ashamed, he shouldn't have reacted the way he did.

He wouldn’t have acted that way if Dan was crying cause he was hurt. It was all because of Phil's stupid ego, thinking he was the only one who could make Dan come.

"No. Not ruined," he muttered, but he had to admit Phil had brought him down a bit. "Just... it's really not often that work is enjoyable at all, you know? Seriously though, think about it. Even when I come home not hurt, I've still been fucked by strangers, when 99% of the time I'm not even hard. That doesn't feel good, it feels invasive..." he brought the covers up  little. "And now I feel bad for not feeling like that right now, like it makes me a bad person, should I have refused to let them touch me? Left frustrated?"

Dan was confused and didn't know what would have been the right thing to do in this situation now.

"No Dan," Phil said moving his hand to hold the covers back. "You're allowed to feel good at work if your client wants you to, I don’t have to give you permission for that.... I was the one who was wrong to get jealous ok? You didn't do anything wrong.”

Somewhere inside Phil he was still jealous of what happened. But he couldn’t blame Dan for that, and now he just wanted to make Dan feel comfortable again.

"I mean they made me feel physically good for a short time. People do that to themselves, it's not something you need to be jealous of, it’s not like I’m off having amazing sex with a stranger. From their point of view it's amazing, but not mine," he sighed. "Are you gonna get into bed or just sit on the floor all night?" he said, smiling slightly.

Phil smiled back at Dan gently, he felt a bit silly, Dan was right, he didn’t need to feel jealous of that. Phil stood up and leaned down to give Dan a quick kiss.

"I think I'd like to come to bed," Phil walked around the bed and got in. "Why are you wearing pajamas?" Phil asked as he wrapped his arm around Dan's waist and felt the fabric.

Dan shrugged a little.

"Cold," he mumbled.

Lie. He felt kinda dirty, that he’d made Phil unhappy because he did something dirty and so felt the need to cover up. He moved closer to Phil though, shuffling backwards.

"Liar," Phil said holding on tighter to Dan now and pressing his face into Dan's shoulder.

He could see why Dan was wearing them, it was the same reason he pulled the covers up, just trying to hide. But he didn’t want him to feel that way. Phil slipped his hand under Dan's shirt to feel the soft skin on his stomach.

"Just feel kinda dirty now," Dan said sighing and relaxing into the small touch a little. He was more tired than usual as well  but wasn't gonna say that in case Phil got unhappy again.

"You're clean enough for me," Phil said kissing Dan's shoulder, his thumb caressing Dan's stomach lightly. "Are you tired?" Phil asked softly.

"No," Dan said a little defensively, but yawned. "Fuck it," he muttered. "Yes, I am," he said, tensing a little again. He didn't like this. "Look, you know what my job is, it's how you met me for god sake, so you can’t get like this on me. It’s not fair," he felt bad saying it because Phil had been so perfect since they met, but he couldn't get possessive because Dan's job would drive him mad if he did.

Phil was taken aback by Dan snapping at him.

"What? Dan it's fine, I'm not upset at you now, I was just being stupid earlier. I'm not gonna get upset at you for being tired, jeez,"  he hid his face behind Dan's back. "Are you mad at me still? I promise I won’t get jealous again, Dan, please don’t be mad." Phil said Dan's name a lot, because that was something that they shared between only the two of them.

"I'm not mad," Dan said quietly and turned to face Phil, it felt cold facing away from him. "I just feel self conscious. I'm tired ‘cause of tonight, and I didn't want you getting defensive again. And I’m just stating for the future, like, us. My work is stressful enough without me worrying about you getting mad at me," he met Phil's eyes a little shyly. He wasn't used to telling anyone off.

  
  


Phil nodded, he didn’t like this fighting they were doing.

"You dont have to worry about me, I won’t get mad at you for doing your work, I promise," Phil moved his hand up Dan's back, still keeping the younger boy close.

"I promise," he said again, trying to help Dan relax. "And if I do you can tell me to shut up, ok? I don't want you to feel like you have to censor yourself to please me, I love Dan and all that comes with that."

Dan nodded.

"Okay, I don't like this, let’s not fight okay?" He kissed Phil's nose. "We're fine, and I am tired," he said yawning.

He just wanted to sleep, they could discuss this more later if they needed it but right now he needed sleep.

"Go to sleep love,"  Phil said, holding Dan close. Phil wasn’t particularly tired himself but he just wanted to lay close to Dan and cuddle him.

Dan nodded and gave himself permission to slip into sleep, nuzzling a little into Phil and falling asleep quickly as he was fairly exhausted.

Phil kissed Dan's head after he was asleep. Nuzzling his face into Dan's hair, he started to think more about why he was so bothered when Dan told him the other guys made him come. At first he was reacting like it was because he didn't want Dan to feel good by anyone other than him. But that wasn’t quite true. He didn't care if they made him come, he preferred that over anything else the strangers could do to the younger boy. No, what really bothered him was the chance of them hearing Dan's perfect moans, what his face looked like when he was in pleasure, and when he orgasmed. All the things Phil had thought he was exclusive too, he’d found out he wasn’t. However all this wasn’t worth fighting over. He wanted the younger boy to be in a good mood when he got home from work. It wasn’t fair to Dan to make him worry and think he was doing a bad thing by allowing himself to enjoy a day of work.

 

Dan slept deeply, not waking up once during the night. He woke up before Phil and smiled, they were still nuzzled close together and Dan was comfy. He stretched a little and yawned, trying to find his phone to see the time.

When Phil woke up he peeked his eyes open looking at Dan.

"You awake?" he asked, not moving at all, his limbs not willing to attempt even stretching yet.

"Mhm," Dan said softly, opening his eyes again and looking at Phil, smiling at how sleepy he looked.

Phil smiled.

"I'm not," he mumbled, shifting lower so he could hide his face in Dan's chest. "Hmm what time is it?"

"11 am," he said, reaching over and starting to play with Phil's hair softly. "You can sleep more if you need."

"Maybe... are you getting up?" Phil mumbled holding tightly onto Dan. He didn't want to go back to sleep if this warmth next to him was going to go away.

"Yeah I think so, I want coffee and stuff," Dan mumbled and stretched again. "Want one, or sleep?"

"Coffee please," Phil said, lifting his face up and tilting it closer to Dan. "Can I have some good morning kisses too?"

Dan smiled and nodded, leaning in and kissing Phil lightly on both his cheeks then his lips.

Phil gently kissed Dan back, and the feeling of the younger boys lips against his felt perfect as always.

"Thank you," Phil said, laughing a little.

Dan kissed him another few times before jumping up to go make coffee. He felt weird wearing pajamas as he wasn't used to it, but they were cozy.

He came back in a few minutes later with the coffees.

"Phil," he said softly, sitting down on the bed.

"Ah, thank you my love," Phil said sitting up and taking the coffee from Dan. He put his arm around Dan’s waist and took a sip, appreciating that Dan knew how to make his coffee.

Dan took a sip of his own and cuddled a little against Phil. He hoped they were okay now, but he still felt a little out of sorts.

"What do you wanna do today?" he said casually.

"Start a new TV show, it was recommended to me by a few friends but I wanted to watch it with you," Phil replied. Dan was acting fine, cuddling with him and giving him kisses, so Phil hoped things were ok. Not forgotten, but ok.

"What show is it?" Dan said quietly and reaching behind Phil, getting his glasses and putting them on him as he hadn't bothered yet.

 

Phil smiled at Dan and put his glasses on. Every morning he tended to just accept that everything was blurry for a little while.

"It's called American Horror Story, I heard its kinda scary so I didn't wanna watch it alone," Phil said softly, playing with the mug in his hands. "And it would be nice, ya know, something for us to share together. Watching a couple episodes every other day. It would be fun."

Dan smiled.

"Mhm sounds good," That was cute that Phil didn't wanna watch it alone. "Phil... are we okay?" he said quietly, biting his lip a little as he met Phil’s eyes. He hoped they were.

Phil looked back at Dan,

"Yeah....of course we are, aren't we?" Phil asked, leaning closer to Dan.

"I dunno. I'm just checking that you're not feeling all funny and not telling me, like, I got mad last night but I want you to be able to talk to me about stuff, just not snap and insinuate stuff," He said leaning against Phil's shoulder. "Talk, but not be mean."

Phil smiled and leaned into Dan too.

"I'm alright here. I'm sorry I was such a jerk," he said pouting. "You were right to be mad, I just don’t want you to stay mad," Phil turned his face to nuzzle Dan's hair. "Next time somethings bothering me I'll just try to talk it out, not be a butt about it"

Dan smiled a little and hugged Phil.

"I'm not mad anymore, we're good. Let’s eat breakfast then start on that show and snuggle," he said kissing Phil's forehead.

Phil looked up at Dan and smiled wider.

"Sounds good," Phil said, getting up a bit fast and hopping to the kitchen. "Wanna make pancakes today?" Phil called out of the kitchen as he looked through Dan's cupboards.

"Ooh, sounds good," Dan said, coming up behind Phil and wrapping his arms around his middle. "I should have everything to make them."

"Yup," Phil said grabbing the ingredients from the cupboard and the fridge.

They made the pancakes, sharing each individual one instead of just making a bunch. The two of them finished up eating and Phil started to clean the kitchen.

"I have the DVDs in my backpack if you wanna go set it up, I'm borrowing them from Peej. I'll finish cleaning the kitchen," Phil said, resting his hands on Dan's waist and kissing his forehead.

Dan smiled and started to walk into the lounge before stopping and looking at Phil again.

"I love you," he said simply, before turning and going to  set up the DVDs. He didn't need to hear it back, he knew Phil loved him too.

Phil nodded and smiled. Finishing washing dishes, he wiped his hand on a rag and went into the lounge, sitting next to Dan and grabbing his legs, throwing them over his lap to pull Dan closer to cuddle.

"I love you more," Phil said leaning in to place a kiss to Dan's lips.

Dan giggled and kissed Phil back, his hands going around Phil's back and squeezing his butt playfully before shuffling closer and whispering "Impossible," against his shoulder as he playfully bit it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phil's gettin jealous =O


	30. Bad Kinks

A couple weeks went by from then, and Phil was still not spending any time in his own apartment. Practically all his clothing had been moved into Dan's at this point, and he was doing all their laundry and cooking most of their meals. Dan was about to leave and Phil leaned his head back over the arm of the couch where he was laying down.

"Kisses before you go?" Phil asked, looking at Dan upside down.

Dan grinned.

"Well that was fucking adorable. Stay there, don't move," he said, and skipped over to where Phil was, sinking down on the floor so he was down on the same level as Phil and kissing his mouth upside down, giggling.

Phil laughed, kissing Dan back at the odd angle.

"I'll see you later baby, come home soon," he said, reaching his hands up to caress Dan's face.

"Will do, you can sleep you know, you don't have to wait up," he said softly, and kissed Phil once more.

"I can't sleep without you," Phil said, pouting. It was true- he was uneasy when he knew Dan was out there still.

Dan reassured him he would rush home and then he was out the door and on the way to work.

It didn't go that badly at first, his first client wasn't harsh on him, but the second one was. He didn't hurt him, not in so many words, but by the end of it Dan had been built up and let down so many times without release that he felt physically sick and looked green. Like most clients with that kink, he waited till Dan went soft before deciding he was done, leaving Dan feeling like he was going to vomit and wanting to just curl up. He had a rushed shower, not bothering about his hair and leaving it in its natural state as he left without saying goodbye to anyone, quickly getting in a cab and rushing home. He just wanted his bed.

When he finally got home he walked in, looking dejected from his evening, offering a weak “hey" to Phil as he took his coat off and kind of hovered in the doorway, unsure if he wanted to be sick or just go to sleep. This was probably one of the most extreme cases of this, usually they didn't push him so far.

"Hey, how was-" Phil said, looking back at Dan and stopped. "Oh my god, are you alright?"

Dan looked positively miserable, like he was going to vomit on the floor at any moment.

"Mhm, yeah, I'm fine," Dan said, holding his hand up dismissively. He didn't want Phil to worry, but he swayed a little on the spot and reached out to the wall. "Just feel sick," he mumbled.

Phil got up and walked over to Dan, putting a hand on his forehead.

"Hm, wanna come sit down for a bit?" Phil said, trying to help support the younger boy who was about to fall over.

Dan nodded and went over to the couch, leaning on Phil a little for support. When he was on the couch he stretched out, touching his stomach and wincing.

"Don't worry, no one hit me or anything," he muttered quickly, knowing that's what Phil's mind would jump to.

Phil pushed Dan's hair aside.

"You don't look like someone hit you, you look like you're going to pass out," Phil said, kissing Dan's forehead. "What happened?"

Dan didn't speak for a moment, thinking.

"Do you remember when I showed you all the stuff in my drawers? And I said that some people have a kink of not letting me come? That." He twisted a little uncomfortably, his stomach feeling bloated and gross.

Phil pouted and nuzzled against Dan's head.

"That's horrible," Phil said, his hand traveling down to Dan's hip. "I can make it better," Phil whispered softly.

Dan shook his head and stopped Phil's hand.

"No, they did it a lot, like more than I am used to... they made it so I almost came then stopped, and I was cuffed so I couldn't do it myself, then made me go soft again and repeated it about 6 times and I just feel sick and bad now." He was actually kind of out of it, he didn't know if it would go away without him getting off, but right now that was the last thing he wanted. "I want it to stop. I hate feeling like this." He whimpered a little.

"Shh, Dan, it'll be alright," Phil said, and moved his hand down to undo Dan's pants. "I'll take care of you." He placed soft kisses against Dan's temple, his other hand running through Dan's hair to try and relax him.

He had this horrible image of Dan being tied up and helpless, while some mysterious person touched him till he was so close but then not letting him finish.  Phil wanted to make it go away- he wasn't sure if it would without getting off, and Dan didn’t look in any state to take care of it himself.

Dan made an irritated moan noise, but it wasn't at Phil. It was just that he had gone through this part so many times already tonight, only to end in frustration.

"No, feel sick," he muttered and touched his stomach again, his head turning and leaning against Phil, breathing him in.

"Dan," Phil said, and moved them so Dan was sitting in between his legs. Phil undid Dan's pants and moved them down. "It'll get better.”

He was trying to move slow, he didn’t want to startle Dan or make it worse, but Phil would let Dan come, he wasn't going to just build him up again. He slowly moved his hand down and started to caress Dan through his boxers.

Dan whimpered and clutched onto Phil's shirt, head resting on his shoulder. He felt too sensitive, his body rejecting the touch, but he bit his lip and resisted the urge to push Phil away. Phil would help, he wasn't gonna make it worse, he was gonna make it better.

"It's alright, I've got you," Phil said softly, kissing the side of Dan's head.

He moved his hand under Dan's boxers to stroke him properly. He was still soft and Dan's breath was shaking.

"I've got you, love, it'll be ok," Phil whispered, one arm wrapped around Dan's waist.

Dan was too uncomfortable to be embarrassed, he just clung to Phil and tried to go with it.

"You should, um, talk to me, so it's you, so I get turned on by you," Dan whispered, blushing. Right now having only Phil's hands on him was just reminding him of being worked up earlier.

Phil blushed, unsure what to say at first.

"Alright." He gave Dan another kiss his head. "Remember last time we had sex, how you came for me there? It's me, I don't build you up without you getting to come," he said softly, unsure what he was doing. "And the first time we had sex I stroked you like this. I love you, baby."

Dan nodded and curled more into Phil, relaxing a little more. Phil loved him. Phil wouldn't hurt him or make him uncomfortable. He let his mind flood with memories of them having sex, especially the last time, how good Phil had made him feel. He nodded again.

"I l-love you too," he said quietly, and kept the thoughts in his head, playing the memories like short clips in his mind.

Phil nodded, hoping it was working.

"Mhm, you always feel good when we have sex don’t you? I don’t hurt you." Phil moved the hand that was on Dan's waist up to tangle in Dan's hair, as he held the younger boy close to him.

Dan nodded.

"Mhm, always yeah." He was starting to respond to Phil's words and touches, relaxing against Phil's body a little more and focusing on what he was feeling.

Phil gently turned them to lay Dan down onto the couch, his hand still holding onto Dan's cock and stroking him, not wanting to stop any feelings. He then moved down, settling between Dan's legs and taking the younger boys cock into his mouth. He hummed softly, and kept his hand on the base, stroking Dan with the movements of his mouth.

Dan gasped a little, not expecting that. He could count on one hand how many times someone had gone down on him, and it was not a very frequent event. He let out a small, shuddery moan, and moved Phil's hair out of his face for him. He just wanted the pain in his abdomen to go away, and he loved Phil even more for trying to fix it.

Phil bobbed his head up and down and moved his tongue around. Phil felt like he had learned how to please someone better this way from feeling Dan be so perfect at it- he just hoped that this was working at all, not just making the pain worse, but judging by Dan's slight moan he assumed it was feeling better.

Dan was hardening now and so there was pleasure, but he was still wary that it was gonna stop and result in more pain.

"Mmh... Please don't stop," he muttered, blushing and biting at his lip. He had been teased so much tonight, and now that he was getting hard again he wasn't sure he had ever needed to come this badly in his life.

Phil moved his head faster, letting his tongue glide over Dan's slit, trying his best to do what he thought would be pleasurable. Phil continued stroking Dan and moved his head down to flick his tongue across Dan's balls. Dan moaned again- they were smaller, needier moans than normal, almost desperate, as he watched Phil's mouth on him. He reached down and found one of Phil's hands, gripping it tightly, eyes not budging from Phil's.

Phil squeezed Dan's hand, and moved his mouth up to lick up Dan's cock. He took Dan's cock back into his mouth, slowly letting Dan hit the back of his throat.

Dan was fully hard again now and relaxing into the feeling, his eyes closed as he got lost in it.

"Thank you," he muttered quietly, then moaned lightly again.

Phil nodded slightly and kept up his actions. working his tongue around. Phil's eyes were closed too as he moaned around Dan's length.

Dan moaned louder. Phil hadn't done this to him before and he looked so good doing it. He bit his lip, eyes taking in how good Phil looked and sounded, moans muffled as his mouth was full.

"Mhh fuck," he whined. "Close, I'm getting close.” It didn't take long after how many times he had been on the brink. "Gonna be a lot," he muttered, moaning louder as he got closer and closer.

Phil nodded, thinking for a moment if he was gonna keep his mouth on. He kept up the motions, bobbing his head up and down, then lifting up and stroking with his hand still.

"Go on," Phil purred, still licking up the side of Dan's length as he stroked him. "Come for me baby." He looked up at Dan lustfully.

Dan met Phil's eyes and moaned.

"Fuck Phil, fuck...mhh, shit, you look so good like that." He couldn't help it, he had to say so. "Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit." His hand gripped tighter to Phil's as he moaned louder, his stomach muscles twitching, before he yelled “fuck” loudly and came hard.

He kept moaning because it just seemed to keep going.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he moaned, his eyes closing and his breathing erratic.

Phil laughed a little as more come kept spilling out of Dan's cock. He moved up and kissed Dan's stomach, getting some come on his lips and licking it off as he moved up to Dan's face, kissing the younger boy’s jaw.

Dan finished and giggled a little, moaning softly and letting out a contented mewl sound as the pain and discomfort dissipated from his abdomen.

"Jesus christ," he muttered, glancing down at his stomach and seeing how much come was on him.

He reached Phil's jaw, and turned his face to kiss his lips eagerly. Phil smiled, giving Dan loving kisses.

"Do you feel better?" he asked, holding himself over the younger boy. "You're all messy now," Phil said, giggling too.

"Yes," Dan said, sounding relieved. "Much. God, that was so fucking painful. I hate pricks with weird kinks," he pouted. "Thank you, seriously, I was just gonna go to bed and cry and I would have been in pain all night."

"You think I would just let you cry all night?" Phil asked, kissing Dan's cheek and squeezing next to him. "You looked so sick," Phil said, playing with Dan's hair.

"No, I know you wouldn't," Dan said, kissing Phil's cheek. "I can’t think properly when I’m like that, that's why I was saying no to it.” He kissed Phil again. "Thank you."

"Mhm," Phil replied, smiling softly. "You tired now?" He asked- he assumed he would be after all that.

"Mhm," Dan muttered, and slouched. He felt a little bad he wasn't trying to return the favour and make Phil feel good, but he was so tired again.

"C'mere, I'll help you to bed," Phil said, propping himself up and lifting Dan up, helping him to the bedroom. When in there he sat Dan down on the bed, and carefully pulled the younger boy’s shirt up to not get any of the come on Dan's face as the shirt was removed.

"You can wiggle out of your pants," Phil said, patting Dan's thigh as he walked off and started to undress himself to change into pajamas. "Did you lock the front door when you came in?" Phil asked casually.

Dan laughed a little as the shirt was pulled up and he avoided the mess on it. "Yeah," Dan answered about the door, and shuffled out of his pants, getting under the covers and waiting for Phil to slide in next to him so he could snuggle.

Phil pulled the covers back and crawled into bed. It felt really natural for them to be like this. Living together. He wrapped his arms around Dan under the covers and smiled.

"Kisses, please," Phil said, leaning his face closer to Dan's.

Dan happily attached their lips, hands running along Phil's sides, just enjoying the closeness.

Phil kissed Dan back for a little while.

"Goodnight," he whispered, pulling away and snuggling close to Dan as they fell asleep together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how you guys holding up? i know its been a lot of sex, and there is still more to come, but its fun and important, showing how much they mean to each other and trust each other. it will get back to the sadness before you know it


	31. I'm Yours Tonight

The next time Phil went back to the club it was an oddly dead night, not a lot of guests buying. He saw Dan approaching him at the bar and smiled lightly.

"Hey," he said, nodding to Dan.

"Hey," Dan said, sitting next to him, more dressed this evening. "God, it's so quiet," he muttered. He had a drink already and finished it, sitting the bottle on the table. "How’s your evening going?" he said, smirking a little.

Phil smiled back at Dan.

"Same as always, I've just been here," he said casually. "Any luck out there?"  Phil asked, wanting to pull Dan a bit closer.

"There are a few potentials...Not really feeling it right now though," he said, meeting Phil's eyes.

He wanted Phil, to put it bluntly. He knew he was working right now, but it was Phil he wanted. He was a little turned on, and all the potential clients were older and weren't doing anything for him. He wanted Phil in a purely physical way right now, and he was okay with that, as long as Phil wanted him too.

"Hmm," Phil said, putting his hand on Dan's waist and scooting just a little bit closer. "Does that mean I get you tonight?" he asked.

Phil had all intentions of buying Dan tonight, but Dan checked the field first for any high paying customers.

Dan turned his body towards Phil. "That depends... do you want me?" he said, sounding innocent, raising his eyebrows and biting at one of his fingers, playing the epitome of innocence with his body language and actions.

Phil looked back at Dan and half laughed at Dan’s little innocent act.

"You know I do," he said, taking Dan's hand away from his mouth and bringing it to his own, kissing his fingers and smirking at the younger boy. "You want me, too." It was more of a statement then a question.

Dan didn't answer, there was no need to.

"How do you want me?"  he said in the same tone, moving a little closer to Phil. He liked this, having Phil as what everyone thought was a customer. He got to play a bit, have a bit more of an act on then they did at home, and he liked it. He hoped Phil liked it as well.

Phil smiled and tilted his face closer to Dan, brushing his lips delicately across his neck and bringing them up to behind Dan's ear.

"I wanna have you someplace no one has before," Phil whispered, his hand travelling slowly up the younger boy’s chest.

He got a rush from this too. Here they would play it up a bit more dirty, more  physical than when they were at home.

Dan smirked a little, and moved his head so that he was the one whispering in Phil's ear.

"That's not an easy request," he said as he tried to think. "It really depends where you're willing to go with me, Phil. I have an idea- but it's a little dirty...and not very classy..." he said, and placed a kiss to Phil's neck, two fingers hooking into his belt loop, just because he could.

"Then let's go there," Phil said softly, his hand resting on the back of Dan's neck.

He was trying to hide his excitement now, but it was hard. He wanted Dan and he was going to have him.

"Okay then,"  Dan said, biting Phil's neck a little before pulling back. "Follow me. If I stop, you stop. We can't get caught."

In reality Dan could probably have passed it off as a client kink and got permission to do this, but it was more fun without it. Dan moved away and started walking towards the back exit of the club, smiling to himself because he knew it would confuse Phil. Phil looked around, but no one seemed to be looking at them. So he followed Dan, getting excited that he didn’t know where he was going with the younger boy.

They went out another door to the indoor parking lot. Dan paused and looked out, and not seeing anyone he started to move more quickly towards the back of the lot, to where there were more cars that staff could use, but not the popular ones. Less of a risk of being caught. He got to one and unlocked it with the keys he’d swiped on the way out. He opened the back door and gestured for Phil to get in.

"I told you it wasn't classy," he said, smirking.

Phil laughed a little. He’d never had sex in a car either. He crawled in the back seat and waited for Dan to follow, pulling Dan closer as he cupped his face and crashed their lips together.

Dan laughed and kissed back eagerly, missing their kisses. He pulled back for air and muttered.

"I see we aren't bothered by the lack of class, then," before kissing him again, crawling into his lap.

"Nope," Phil said, wrapping his arms around Dan's waist.

He didn’t care if they were in a random car. It was someplace no one has been with him yet, so it was theirs. Phil bit at Dan's lip as he kissed him.

Dan let out a small noise and his hand slipped under Phil's shirt, running over his stomach and chest for a second before moving back out on top of his shirt and quickly working at the buttons. He wanted Phil undressed, as quickly as possible.

Phil's hands worked downward, grabbing at Dan's ass and pulling him closer. He kissed Dan harder, pushing his tongue into the younger boy’s mouth with need. He started yanking Dan's shirt up harshly, wanting to feel him closer.

Dan pushed Phil's shirt off his shoulders when it was undone, and started touching the newly revealed skin. When Phil yanked his shirt up, he lifted his arms so Phil could get it off, then started kissing Phil's neck. It felt rushed and needy and Dan liked it.

Phil let out a soft sound of pleasure at the feeling of Dan's lips on his skin.

"Mark me," Phil whined, tilting his neck to allow Dan more access.

He liked it when Dan left marks on him. It made him feel owned by the younger boy, on a deeper way than Phil owned him. Phil's hands moved to the front of Dan's pants and simply undid them, not making any effort to take them off yet.

Dan smirked and started to suck a mark into the side of Phil's neck.

"Mmh, you're gonna walk back in there and they’re all gonna see this, see that you're mine," he muttered, before sucking harder, teeth running along the soft skin.

He rolled his hips down slightly against Phil as one hand tangled in his hair, tugging a little.

Phil moaned.

"I am yours," he said in a bit of a gasp at the feeling of Dan's teeth, rolling his hips up to meet Dan's.

Phil felt almost submissive- he wanted to give himself to Dan. He didn’t voice that want yet, just kept his hands roaming and caressing Dan's body as Dan bit at his neck. He started to tugging at Dan's pants.

"These need to go," Phil said, pulling harder.

Dan smiled and nodded, moving so he could slip his pants off, leaving himself only in boxers. He started to undo Phil's, sitting on the seat beside him as he pulled them down and off, before he crawled back onto his lap and attached their lips again. Phil wrapped his arms around Dan's neck, holding him close and guiding them, so Phil was half laying down now.

"D-Dan...I-I want you," Phil said, a bit shy.

Dan moved down so his body was partially on top of Phil's. He kissed his neck, then his chest, adding a mark there, this one just for Phil to see.

"I know you do, baby, I want you too," he said, hands caressing Phil's hips as he moved back up to Phil's mouth and kissed him again.

Phil blushed slightly, making a slightly frustrated sound as he kissed Dan back.

"No, Dan," Phil pulled away and looked at Dan's eyes, his hands running through Dan's hair and over his shoulders. "I want you to fuck me."

His voice strangely level for how fast his heart was going. Phil had been a bottom for other guys before he’d met Dan, and now he wanted to share that experience with Dan too. A new step in their relationship.

"Oh," Dan breathed out, pausing for a moment before basically attacking his mouth again with needy kisses. "Yes, God, fuck yes," he muttered against his lips.

Until this point he’d had no knowledge of whether Phil would ever want this from him or not. Some people don't bottom at all, but now that Phil said it, it was all Dan could think about. He rocked his hips into Phil's, noticing now how Phil had been acting a bit more submissive since they got into the car, and smiled.

"If you ever want anything just ask, okay? You don't need to get anxious about it with me," he said, kissing him softer for a second before picking up the needy pace again.

Phil smiled and rolled his hips up to gain some friction.

"Thank you," he purred, kissing Dan again.

Phil should know that he didn’t need to be anxious with Dan. His hands travelled down to Dan's ass, playing with the elastic on his waistband, before slipping his hands under. Dan let out a contented sound- he liked it when Phil's hands were there. He rolled his hips down again and moaned lightly.

"Mmh, fuck Phil, I can't wait to be inside you, thought about it so many times," he purred out, voice low.

He slipped his thumbs under the waistband of Phil’s boxers and slowly started working them down.

Phil blushed, he was getting really excited now, his hands eagerly tugging Dan's underwear lower.

"I-need...mm…now," Phil moaned against Dan's mouth.

He moved his leg so it was resting on Dan's hip as he lifted his hips up against Dan's.

Dan smirked. Phil was eager and needy when he bottomed, it seemed, and so Dan decided to have fun with it.

"Mhh, what's that? What do you need now? Sorry if I didn't quite catch that. I'm a little distracted, you see, thinking about how good it's gonna feel to finally get to fuck you, to look down and see you underneath me like that." He said all this low and breathily in Phil's ear, as he moved a little to rid Phil of his boxers, leaving him completely naked now.

Phil wrapped his legs around Dan's waist.

"Stop thinking about it and do it," Phil said, clinging his arms around Dan and kissing the side of his face.

His nails dug in slightly to Dan's back. He was being demanding and needy but it was exciting himself even more to behave this way, with Dan's responses to counter him. It was perfect foreplay.

"Patience, baby," Dan said, and moved quickly in between Phil's legs, parting them wide and meeting Phil's eyes. He bit his lip and looked down, moaning lightly at having Phil displayed for him. He noticed the small blush on Phil's cheeks and lightly ran his hand over Phil's inner thighs.

"Fuck, you just look so good. You always do but... fuck," he moaned the last word and licked his lips in anticipation of what was to come.

He lightly ran his thumb over Phil's entrance, just touching him. He didn't know how long it had been since Phil had done this, and wanted his touch to feel less foreign before they continued.

Phil's mouth fell open slightly, gasping a little as Dan touched him. He had bottomed before, but it had been several months since that last happened.

"I don't wanna be patient," Phil said, running his hands over his own chest now.

"I'm afraid you’ll have to be," Dan said, smirking, and let his eyes run over Phil again.

He had a small bottle of lube in his pocket so reached down to the car floor to grab his pants. Pulling out the bottle and a condom, he placed the condom beside him and squirted some lube on his fingers, warming it between his fingers as he kept eye contact with Phil. He started teasing Phil, dragging his fingers across but not entering him.

"Stroke yourself," he said quietly, mainly just because he wanted to see Phil do it. He lightly pressed one finger inside Phil, expertly gliding in so Phil would feel the least amount of discomfort possible.

Phil gasped slightly, feeling the finger, but quickly adjusted to the sensation. He moved his hand down, not wasting any time to start stroking himself. He liked that Dan was issuing orders- this was new, and only turning him on even more.

"I'm not delicate, I can take it," Phil said softly, his other hand moving down to touch his inner thigh.

"I know you can," Dan stated. "Trust me on this."

He backed up a little so he was crouched low, and kissed Phil's hand on his inner thigh before kissing the soft skin there. He worked his finger in and out of Phil in a steady pattern for a short moment, before adding a second, not missing a second in the pattern he had created as he slipped it in with the first. He bit lightly on Phil’s skin as he did, so that Phil wouldn't notice straight away. He knew how to do this, could make the stretching process feel smooth and effortless from Phil's part, which was all part of the fun for Dan. He liked showing Phil skills he hadn't had a chance to expose him to yet.

Phil moaned softly, letting Dan take control of the situation and do as he pleased.  He was already a bit impressed by Dan's skill with his fingers. Phil let out a bit louder moan at the feeling of Dan biting him. He smiled to himself, not giving Dan any more complaints about wanting him to hurry. Dan kept looking at Phil and moved his fingers more, tilting the angle and running over Phil's prostate, instantly locating it and applying the right amount of pressure. He slipped his fingers in and out again, and whenever his fingers slipped inside he made sure to drag the tips against that spot inside him.

"Do you want me to just hurry up now? Or do you want me to continue trying to please you?" he said, smirking, then leant down to Phil's cock, licking over the head as Phil's hand continued to pump at himself.

Phil gasped, his back arching at the sudden intake of pleasure he hadn’t been expecting so soon.

"God!" Phil moaned, moving his hand faster. "No, keep going, please," Phil whined, feeling Dan's tongue and whimpering a little.

He was impressed how quickly Dan had found his spot. Phil pressed himself a little harder into Dan's fingers, but Dan was moving them in and out of him so perfectly he didn’t need to move much, except for the fact it was just his body’s response to pleasure.

Dan took Phil's tip in his mouth, and pushed his fingers a little faster into him. He lingered against his spot for a little longer each time, creating a small increase in pleasure each time he moved into him. He locked eyes with Phil and kept his motions up, enjoying Phil's responses to him.

"God yes, like that," Phil moaned, his body being slightly overwhelmed with sensations but his moaning guiding him through it.

He couldn't wait to feel him inside, more than just the fingers, but at this point it was all waiting and accepting the wonderful pleasure Dan was giving him, not knowing what was going to come next.

Dan's mouth was hanging open as he watched Phil, watched his responses. Sure, he had done this to strangers, but doing it to Phil was a completely different kind of experience.

"Fuck, Phil, you look so good like this. Hold your legs open a little more."

He reached up behind Phil and grinned when he felt what he was looking for. He’d chosen the right car after all. He wound the dial and the back seat went backwards, giving them a lot more space than they’d previously had. He went back to focusing on Phil, and slipped a third finger in the same way he did the second, without messing his rhythm up. This time as a distraction, he took all of Phil's cock in his mouth at the same time, still holding eye contact.

Phil gasped and let out a louder moan.

"Ah fuck!" He wasn't expecting the third finger, but wasn’t complaining at all as he pressed down on them. Dan's mouth around him was making it harder to wait. He tangled his hand in Dan's hair and pulled his head up.

"I want you to fuck me," Phil demanded in a low moan, as he rolled his hips to fuck himself on Dan's fingers which still somehow managed to hit that spot inside him each time.

Dan was too perfect at this. Phil's cheeks were super flushed as he stared back at him. Dan sat back, his eyes were darting from Phil's face and the perfect expressions he was making, down to where his fingers disappeared inside him and Phil was rocking down against them. He let out a low moan as he watched, palming himself as he was still wearing boxers.

"How much do you want it?" Dan said huskily, playing the dominant role properly as he pushed into Phil a little rougher, scissoring his fingers and watching as he did so, a breathy moan falling from his lips.

Phil whined and spread his legs farther.

"Daaan," Phil moaned, stopping his motions as he looked up at Dan. "Please, I need you," he said softly, looking up at Dan with pure lust.

His mouth still hung open, letting out low moans as Dan used his fingers on him. Every inch of him was desperately craving more. Dan smirked and pulled his fingers out, wiping them on the side of his boxers before he slipped them down and off, grabbing the condom from beside the seat and still looking at Phil as he readied himself. He moved and lined up against Phil, but leaned forward and kissed Phil's lips needily first.

Phil's hands went to Dan's face, pulling him close, kissing him as he eagerly waited for Dan to fill him up. He couldn't remember ever being as excited for being bottom as he was right now.

Dan had one hand holding himself up and the other holding his base as he pushed his tip into Phil. He held his breath as he slid into him in one fluid motion, and waiting for Phil to adjust to him he kissed him again, on his lips then on both cheeks.

"Mhm, tell me when, okay?" he said, and kissed him, trying not to react, but Phil was so tight and perfect around him it was hard not to.

Phil held onto Dan, giving himself a moment. His breath hitched and he exhaled slowly, closing his eyes and focusing on the feeling.

"Mhm, I'm ok," he said, nodding slightly after waiting a few moments. His hands never left Dan's face.

Dan just nodded, knowing Phil would know he had because of where his hands were. He moved out, then back into Phil, starting to build a slow pace so Phil could adjust to the sensation.

"Oh Jesus," Dan muttered, but kept his movements slow and paced.

He moved a little so his face was closer to Phil's neck and placed a soft kiss there. Phil let his hands fall so they were now on Dan’s waist, and with his hands he could feel Dan rocking in and out slowly. He let out soft sighs each time Dan entered him, his body stretching as he got more adjusted and it started to feel better. Phil's hands moved even lower, and he tugged on Dan's hips a little to tell him to move faster. He didn’t trust his voice just yet, as he continued to let out small moans.

Dan's hand moved and found one of Phil's hands, squeezing once to say he understood before starting to speed up his movements a little. A small moan escaped him and he lowered his body down against Phil's, wanting skin against skin as he continued his movements.

Phil rolled his hips, pressing his body more against Dan's and letting out a low moan at the friction it caused.

"Ooooh fuck," Phil finally said something in his moan. He started to get louder and more intense as all the feelings turned into pleasure and he just wanted to feel more of Dan.

Dan smiled.

"Mmh, God, you sound good," he muttered, and moved his hips faster, changing his angle and aiming for Phil's sweet spot again, wanting him to get louder.

It was intense, feeling Phil all around him, seeing him underneath him, taking in his flushed cheeks and wanting expression. He just wanted to see Phil like this all the time- they had only just started and Dan felt like he was addicted.

Phil moaned loudly, jerking his hips up and pressing back down onto Dan's cock. Dan was too good at this, he knew exactly how to move at the right angle and right speed.  Phil gripped a bit harder into Dan's hips, one hand roaming up Dan's chest and scratching slightly.

"Dan," Phil moaned, just liking the feeling of the younger boy’s name on his lips.

Dan moaned at the light scratches, wanting more of it but knowing he couldn't have it due to marks.

"At some point, we’re gonna do this when I'm not at work, and you can mark me, and when we do, I want you to scratch me. No, I'm gonna fuck you so hard you have to scratch me," Dan said breathily, as he worked his hips up and into Phil.

He leaned down and started to suck and bite more marks over Phil's skin, anywhere he could reach. Phil’s hands rested on the back of Dan's neck and he let out moans as the younger boy bit at him, arching his back when the younger boy’s mouth moved across his chest.

"Mmm Daaan," Phil moaned. Dan was perfect. Phil rolled his hips up and clenched around him, trying to make Dan lose himself too.

Dan let out a gasp that quickly turned into a moan. He wasn't used to that- it was something for his pleasure, not Phil's.

"Mmh, fuck, do that again," he muttered, and thrust in harder. His head was going in all sorts of places.

He wanted to pull out and rip the condom off, he wanted to come deep inside him, wanted Phil to do the same to him. He kept imagining it, and it wasn't something he had thought was appealing in the past. He moved his mouth up to Phil's, kissing him needily, hand tangling in his hair as he pushed his hips forward, still aiming for Phil's sweet spot on every thrust.

Phil moaned against Dan's lips, holding tightly onto him. He wished Dan wasn't wearing a condom, he wanted to feel the younger boy come inside him. But that wasn't allowed... at least Phil didn’t think it would be. He tightened himself around Dan again, drawing another moan from him. This was getting too much.

"D-Dan, I'm close," Phil mumbled, still kissing and moaning each time Dan hit that spot inside him.

Dan bit his lip and spread Phil's legs further, bending them a little.

"Mmmh... fuck... good, I wanna see you come baby." Dan moved his hand to Phil's cock, swiping the bead of pre-come onto his thumb then licking it off, before returning his hand to Phil's cock and pumping him in time with his thrusts.

Phil moaned louder, wrapping his arms around Dan.

"Oh fuck… Dan," he moaned louder, rocking his own hips harder, perfectly in sync with Dan. He fell back against the car, his arms falling beside his head as he let out more moans.

"Dan, I can't hold back," he moaned, looking up at Dan lustfully.

"Mmhh, don't hold back," Dan half spoke, half moaned. "I wanna taste you properly before I come," Dan moaned, and tried to push Phil over the edge, thumbing over his slit and angling directly at his prostate. "I want it," he moaned.

Phil couldn't hold back any longer, his legs were shaking as Dan pounded inside him. He moaned loudly as he came, spilling over Dan's hand. Phil was out of breath, his back still arched as he watched Dan intensely, still letting out small whimpering moans from feeling Dan inside him still.

Dan moaned loudly as Phil came, tensing around him. He was super close now. He made sure that his hand was covered with Phil's release, before lifting it to his mouth and sucking his fingers, then licked over his hand as his eyes closed. He so badly wanted Phil to do that inside him, to feel that. He moaned at the combination of that thought and how good Phil felt around him, running his fingers through the splashes on Phil's stomach, lifting it again to his lips but locking his eyes with Phil this time.

"Fuck, fuck I'm close," he moaned, and he was pretty sure what he just did had turned him on so much, it helped draw him closer.

Phil's mouth hung open as he watched Dan, who seemed to be enjoying himself as he licked his fingers clean. Never had he seen a more attractive image then that. He let out breathy moans as he tried to regain his head to talk, so he could edge Dan further.

"You feel so good inside me," Phil said in a moan, still managing to tighten himself around Dan.

"Mmmhh fuck, fuck, fuck," Dan whined, and then he was moaning loudly.

He thrust hard into Phil as his release took hold, causing his eyes to screw up and his jaw to slacken at the same time, a drop of come laying ignored on his lip. He started to work down from his high with small little moans, and his tongue darted out over his lips and caught the drop as he met Phil's eyes again, but he didn't speak or make any effort to pull out. He was living for this quiet moment where everything was pure again and didn't want to shatter it.

Phil put his hands up to tangle in Dan's hair, pulling him down to kiss him passionately. This felt so perfect, like they were just a normal couple, and nothing outside this car existed. Phil didn't speak yet, just kept his lips against Dan's, pulling apart finally to breathe.

"I love you," he said in an exhale, looking back at Dan.

"I love you too, so much," Dan muttered, and finally pulled out of Phil, letting out a small noise and kissing him again. "Next time... Can we, um.. I don't wanna use condoms with you anymore..." he said, blushing and keeping his nose against Phil's.  "We would have to at work, but not at home... if you want to keep using them though, I get it."

Phil smiled brightly at Dan, caressing his face.

"I don't wanna use them anymore, either." Phil smiled, and tilted his face to kiss Dan again.

He really liked that idea, just being able to be inside Dan, nothing between them, and come inside him for the first time. First, that would be a new first for Dan, excluding the incident which hardly counted as sex. Phil wanted to make it special. He smiled softly as the idea came to him.

"I want to do it right, then, at least the first time," Phil said, in a whisper as he was so close to Dan's face.

Dan smiled, relieved Phil hadn't shot him down.

"What do you mean by right? With you, it's always right," he whispered back. "I've never wanted it before, but now whenever we touch each other, I want nothing between us, you know?"

Phil nodded a little.

"You'll see, just trust me," Phil said. He wanted it to be a surprise and make it as special as he could. To replace all of Dan's old bad memories with perfect new ones that he could smile at. “I really want this too.”

"I don't even know why, I just feel like it's something I need with you," he said, kissing Phil's cheek, then his neck. "When you came, I couldn't stop thinking about it," he giggled a little. "God, I love you so much."

Phil laughed softly.

"I love you too," he said, putting a hand in Dan's hair and massaging gently. "You were amazing," Phil said as he exhaled. "I wish you could have come inside me though," he pouted a bit. "I thought it would be against the rules."

"Technically, it probably is. You couldn't come inside me at work., but I could still come inside you... I'm not allowed, but no one would know." Dan bit his lip, imagining coming inside Phil, then Phil going back out to the bar with the ultimate claim inside him.

"Anyway," he said, sounding a little distracted by his thoughts. "You were the amazing one."

"Hmm," Phil said, responding to Dan's comment about the rules.

But things were different between them. At work they had to follow all of the house and Dan's rules, but Phil had Dan at home too, and there they were free to do whatever they wanted. Phil smiled and rolled them so they were laying on their side.

"Don't start with me," Phil said, laughing and kissing Dan's nose. He looked up slightly. "Ha, we fogged up the windows"

Dan looked up and laughed.

"Yup, yup we did," he giggled. "You were loud too... hope no one came out to get a car." He smiled and kissed Phil.

"You didn’t stop me," Phil said, smiling against Dan's lips.

"I didn't want to stop you, you sounded fucking amazing. I wanna top all the time if you sound like that, Jesus," he said quietly, before pulling Phil closer for another kiss.

"I think we need to shower."

Phil laughed a little.

"Yes we do, I'm a mess," Phil said, and started lifting himself up slightly, but not too far away from Dan yet.

He pulled away and sat up more, stretching as he looked around the car for their clothes.

"I'm thinking I'm just gonna go home to wait for you to finish your shift, okay?" Phil asked, leaning over the front seat to find his boxers.

Dan pouted a little.

"Come shower with me? There are no time limits on clients, I wanna shower with you," he said, kissing Phil's cheek.

Dan was feeling oddly cuddly right now, more so than he usually did, and he wasn't ready to let Phil leave just yet.

Phil smiled. That was new.

"That sounds really great, actually," he said softly. They hadn't been able to shower together before.

"We need to get dressed though, unless you wanna run through naked," Dan giggled, happy he got to be around Phil a little bit longer.

"I was working on that," Phil said, tossing Dan his underwear, and they got dressed.

Phil pushed the car door open slightly, allowing the air in.

"It's clear," Phil said slowly, standing up out of the car. "Now we have to sneak back in."

"We can do that easy," Dan said, and started leading the way back. It was still quite dead, so no one got in their way. and soon enough they made it to Dan's room, "Success," he said, grinning at Phil.

Phil smiled and wrapped his arms around Dan’s waist, kissing him delicately. "You’re so cute," Phil said, smiling and laughing a little.

Dan kissed back, then smirked.

"You didn't think I was cute ten minutes ago," he said, and kissed him again, pulling him through the room to his little bathroom out the back.

Phil followed Dan, still smiling. Dan was right, but to Phil the younger boy could go from sexy to adorable in seconds flat. Phil looked around the bathroom- the shower was quite large. There was a long bench next to the sink with some lubricants on the counter, along with some stuff that appeared to be for douching. None of this stuff bothered Phil, he knew Dan prepared himself everyday.

Dan blushed and opened a drawer below the bench, pushing the various items inside that had been on the table to dry.

"Sorry," he said, still blushing. "Never had company in here before." He didn't know why it embarrassed him, but it did. He moved back to Phil and kissed him, a small blush still on his cheeks.

Phil kissed Dan back softly.

"It doesn’t bother me, it’s ok," he whispered, and turned to look at the shower. "Set up the shower now, we smell like sex," Phil laughed as he tugged the bottom of Dan's shirt up.

Dan giggled and pulled his shirt off, followed by the rest of his clothes. He started the shower and got in, motioning for Phil to do the same. Phil quickly pulled his own clothing off and followed Dan into the shower. He smiled as the water poured down on them, taking it in for a moment. Phil put his hands gently on Dan's sides.

Dan moved a little closer to Phil and sighed, relaxed, letting the water run over them as he closed his eyes and leaned against Phil.

Phil kissed Dan's head and wrapped his arms more around Dan.

"I love you," he whispered softly over the sound of water. "Ya alright?"

Dan glanced up.

"Mhm, I love you too... I'm just thinking, that's all," he said, looking at Phil and smiling a little. "Just.. when I come home, after working, can you... can you smell them on me? I always shower really well, I’m almost paranoid of it. I just wanted to ask you."

Phil laughed a little.

"What? Smell them on you? No, not at all, you smell fine. Like Dan," Phil said, looking back at the younger boy. "You're just fine."

Dan nodded quickly.

"Okay, good, I just worry sometimes," he said quietly, feeling a little silly for bringing it up now. "Good," he repeated.

Phil smiled and kissed Dan's cheek.

"It's okay, I understand," Phil said, giving Dan more kisses on his face. "Dan smells like warm."

Dan rolled his eyes, but was smiling, well aware they had said this to each other before.

"Warm isn't a smell," he said, rolling his eyes. He kissed Phil's nose and smiled.

Phil laughed at Dan's response. They washed up, and probably took a bit longer than they should, but eventually turned off the water and got out. Dan handed Phil a towel and Phil dried off his hair and wrapped his towel around his waist. Dan still needed to do his hair, but he really didn't wanna go back out there. He wanted to go home. He pouted in the mirror at Phil.

Phil tilted his head as he watched Dan.

"Babe, I think you should come home with me. It's dead out there and you've had one customer at least, so you should take an early night." Phil stepped closer to Dan and put his hands on the younger boy’s waist.

"Tempting," Dan said, leaning his head back against Phil's shoulder. "Convince me?" He poked his tongue out playfully.

Phil smirked at the younger boy, his hands travelling lower and almost feeling him up over the towel.

"If we go home now, we have all night to cuddle and watch TV." Phil turned his head and gave him some kisses to the side of his face. "That would be fun, yeah?" Phil said, his arms now wrapped around Dan's middle as he kissed him.

Dan's eyes glanced down at Phil's hands, and he smirked a little.

"Yeah, that sounds nice," Dan said, leaning into the little kisses.

He finished doing his hair and then got dressed, letting Phil do his hair as their positions swapped and Dan hugged Phil from behind.

"Is it alright, that I keep staying with you everynight?" Phil asked, looking at Dan in the mirror.

Phil had practically moved in, and wanted to confirm it soon, or know from Dan if it was alright that Phil was always there. Maybe the younger boy wanted some nights alone.

Dan met Phil’s eyes in the mirror.

"Yes! I love it when you're there! If you wanna go home, I get it, but I love waking up next to you," he said softly, and kissed Phil's shoulder.

Phil laughed.

"No, I don't wanna go back there, it's all empty and big." He paused for a moment and leaned into Dan's kisses. "I bought it to feel like I was important, or doing something with my life, but now I have you, and I like how cozy it feels being with you when I wake up,"

Phil straightened the little bit he needed to do and set the straightener down, reaching behind him to put his hand in Dan's hair.

Dan smiled.

"Good, so keep staying at mine," he said, meeting Phil’s eyes.

He wanted Phil there all the time, but didn't wanna ask him. He felt like that would be too… pushy. Phil nodded, smiling. He would talk to Dan about it when he was ready, but right now it was just comfortable that they both enjoyed sharing the space together. Didn't need to address it just yet.

"Let's go home," Phil said, pulling away from Dan to get dressed.

Dan got ready to leave, waiting for Phil.

"I kinda like you saying ‘home’ like that," he said quietly, before heading out the room and then out the back exit before Phil could respond.

Phil smiled to himself. The fact that he called it home as well made it seem like he lived there.

He followed Dan through the door and out until they were outside, away from the club. He put his arm around Dan's waist and called a taxi, and soon they were on their way back to Dan's apartment.

When they got home Dan flopped on the couch.

"Cuddle me," he said, making grabby hands at Phil and smiling, wanting affection.

"Well, if you insist," Phil laughed, hopping onto the couch and crawling over Dan, snuggling up next to him.

Phil picked up the remote and turned on the TV and the DVD player.

"Dan, I was thinking. Ya know, I'm here so much, why don't I just move in..." Phil paused, worried Dan would say no. "I mean, I'm here all the time, shouldn't I be paying rent too?" Phil said, laughing a little.

Dan hugged Phil closer.

"Do you want to? Live with me proper, like?" He was grinning, because he wanted it. He couldn't think of anything better.

"Well, yeah.... I'd like that a lot, actually," Phil said, putting his hand into Dan's hair. "If you don't mind me being here all the time, that is."

Phil laughed and kissed Dan's cheek. He knew it was a yes, and it was hard to contain how happy that made him. Phil had never lived with anyone before. There was never anyone he’d wanted to live with before now.

Dan nodded.

"Yes, please. Yes!" Dan giggled, pulling Phil closer and kissing him. "My boyfriend’s moving in with me..." He said in a sing song voice, and giggled again, elated.

Phil laughed once more- Dan's excitement was adorable.

"Thank you," Phil said, kissing Dan again gently. "Let's watch a few episodes of American Horror Story and then go to bed, how’s that sound?" Phil said, smiling, thinking of it now as 'our bed' and not just Dan's that Phil was sharing with him.

"Mhm, sounds good," Dan said, still grinning and kissing Phil's cheek every few seconds. He was being clingy, but he didn't care, he was too excited.

They relaxed and watched a few episodes, before Phil fell asleep on the couch. Dan had to wake him and they stumbled back to the bed, stripping and crawling under the covers to cuddle again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all of these sex chapters are important btw, each of them has something forshadowing to the climax.
> 
> special thanks to @NotFunnyP who has helped me edit the past 3 chapters!!! while my usual editor has been doing her finals. thank you!   
> and thanks to @taylorishhere for offering to help right away too when i first asked for someone. I really appreciate it when you guys jump up to help out like that it was wonderful.   
> please follow both of them on twitter they are both great ladies ^^


	32. Closer

A week had passed and Phil had moved his possessions into Dan's apartment. He had bought the house he lived in before Dan's, so he rented it out at a nice price. He had been planning this night the entire week, picking out exactly what he wanted to do to make this first time the best it could be.

Phil hopped over to Dan and sat next to him on the couch, throwing one arm around him and resting one hand on Dan's leg.

"Dan," Phil whispered kissing Dan's face before moving to his lips. "I've got something to show you," Phil said in a low voice as he caressed Dan's thigh intimately.

Dan looked at him with one eyebrow raised a little.

"Okay?" He said and chuckled, curious. Stretching a little, he sat up straighter, "Go on then," he smiled.

"Come on," Phil said, returning the smile and pulling Dan along to their bedroom. He put his hands over Dan's eyes before he was able to enter the room. "Ready," Phil whispered lowering his hands to let Dan see what he had set up.

Phil's hands moved and Dan grinned.

"Seriously? Oh my god really?" Dan hugged Phil tightly. "You are seriously perfect, this is beautiful!"

There were red flowers and candles around the room and some flowers on the bed. On the bedside table there was a bottle of wine and two glasses, and overall the romantic atmosphere was heavy around them. Dan giggled and hugged Phil by the waist tightly, not being able to take his eyes off of the room.

"I love you,"

"I love you too. I told you I want to do this right," Phil said and guided Dan over to the bed where they sat down and Phil handed Dan a glass of wine.

The room was in perfect lighting, just a soft glow so Phil could see Dan and appreciate how lovely the younger boy was. Dan took the drink and smiled.

"It's perfect, you're perfect, thank you," He said smiling, now excited.

Dan thought about how Phil actually cared about him enough to go to this extent to make something special for him, and he couldn't stop smiling because of that. Phil took a sip of his drink, he wanted to let the alcohol sit in just enough to make them more relaxed, but not too much. He leaned closer to Dan stroking his back gently.

"I was thinking maybe I could give you a massage too, how does that sound?" Phil asked.

Dan giggled and kissed Phil's cheek.

"That sounds lovely," He sat down and reached out to grab Phil's hand. "Thank you. Really, I never thought I would be the kind of person to get this," he glanced around at the room then at Phil.

"You deserve it," Phil said,  intertwining their fingers. "This is how it should be, because you are loved," Phil said, leaning into Dan and giving him soft kisses on his neck. He pulled away and smiled at Dan.

"To being loved," Phil said lifting his wine glass to Dan's.

Dan got really emotional, hearing Phil say it like that. A few tears slipped down his cheeks as his eyes glowed at Phil. He brought his glass up to meet Phil's and they clinked before he took a sip.

"Hey hey, you okay? Why are you crying?" Phil asked kissing Dan's cheeks and squeezing his hand.

"I'm happy," Dan said wiping his eyes, "I'm just emotional, no one has ever cared before and you care so much,"

He moved forward and pressed his lips against Phil's. He tasted like wine and perfection.

"I love you so fucking much," he muttered.

"I love you too," Phil murmured,  pressing deeper into the kiss.

Without breaking the kiss, Phil reached behind him and set his wine glass down so his hand could move to the back of Dan's neck and hold him closer. People should have been treating Dan like this far sooner than today, but Phil wasn't complaining that he got to be the first one to properly love him and care about him.

Dan relaxed against Phil a little, continuing to kiss Phil softly. Phil pulled away slowly and took Dan's wine from him, setting it on the nightstand. Leaning back over to Dan and tugging his shirt up and over his head, he reattached their lips and his hands went to the buttons on his own shirt, undoing them and shrugging the unwanted fabric off his shoulders.

Dan's hands went to Phil's chest as soon as it was revealed to him, running over his skin and deepening the kiss a little again. He didn't want to come across too eager, but he was. He really wanted this, but he was going to do this the way Phil wanted. Phil smiled into the kiss, his hand delicately playing along Dan's sides.

"Lay on the bed stomach down, I'll give you a massage," Phil whispered against Dan's lips, then kissing Dan's shoulder and neck.

Dan smiled.

"Okay,"

He moved so he was lying with his stomach against the mattress. He felt overly excited for this, for all of it. He felt special and loved and it was a really great feeling.

Phil crawled over Dan, running his hands firmly over Dan's back, up to his shoulders and over his arms.

"You can relax, I've got you," Phil said and started kneading Dan's muscles in a circular motion near his neck and shoulders and working outwards.

Phil could feel all the knots and tension built up from years of stress. Dan breathed deeply and then exhaled, feeling relaxed already.

"I've never had a massage before," he said quietly, "Feels really nice," his voice sounding a little lazy as he got lost in it.

Phil leaned down and kissed Dan's spine.

"I'm glad," Phil said, moving his hands lower and massaging over his lower back and working his hands back up. "Let me know if I'm too rough," Phil said, working his hands into Dan's shoulders and feeling all the muscles coming undone.

Dan couldn't help but laugh a little at that; after all the rough treatment Dan had had in the past, Phil was worried he was going to be to rough with a massage.

"Okay," he said quietly. "Mmh god you are really good at that," It felt amazing, he never wanted it to stop. "This is my new favorite thing."

Phil laughed, "Any time you want a massage you can just ask," he said, smiling as he massaged Dan.

After a few minutes Dan was like putty under Phil's hands. Phil turned the younger boy over.

"Hello lovely," Phil said leaning down and kissing Dan softly.

Dan felt so relaxed and good that he didn't even bother replying, he just kissed Phil back happily. That had made him feel more relaxed than anything he could remember, and he was completely under Phil's control at this point; too content to want anything else than him anyway.

Phil kissed Dan gently and intimately, his hands gently caressing up Dan's chest and down over his stomach. His lips followed, running over Dan's neck, collar, down his chest, and then stomach, kissing him delicately until he was at Dan's hips. Lips pressing softly along the waistband,  his tongue flicked out over the skin.

Dan let out a soft noise from the delicate feeling. Phil was being so gentle with him and it felt really nice and intimate. He felt Phil's tongue on his hip and let out another small noise, his hand running through Phil's hair.

Phil slowly undid Dan's pants, working them down. He sat back and pulled them off the rest of the way before leaning back over Dan and mouthing at him through his underwear, wanting to turn the younger boy on with only his mouth. Dan let out a soft moan and sat up a little watching Phil. It wasn't going to take a lot to turn him on; he already was a bit in anticipation.

"You're perfect," He muttered, continuing to watch Phil's movements. That was new to him as well, how good it looked to watch someone touch or pleasure him like that.

Phil smirked and continued working his mouth over Dan, pulling down the younger boy’s underwear and taking him in his mouth completely, feeling Dan harden inside his mouth. Phil moaned softly around him, sending vibrations through Dan’s body. Dan's mouth hung open a little as he moaned. He could fully appreciate how good Phil was at this this time, and he kept his eyes glued to watching Phil's actions.

"Mmh Phil" Dan whined, his hips moving slightly.

Phil lifted his mouth up and started stroking Dan, placing kisses along his length before taking the tip back in his mouth and running his tongue over the slit.  He moved his hand up and placed 2 fingers to Dan's lips silently asking him to suck. Dan took the fingers into his mouth, swirling his tongue between them to make sure they were well coated before moving his head away so Phil had to take his fingers back. He wanted this so badly. Phil smirked at how eager Dan seemed. He pulled his hand away and lifted himself up so he was over the younger boy again, and his hand was between Dan's legs.

"Spread your legs more babe," Phil said kissing Dan's jaw.

The other boy did so and Phil's finger started teasing around his entrance just wanting to excite Dan a little more before this got too far. Dan let out a "hmph" noise at Phil's teasing and so spread himself further, legs wide apart and hands going to his own ass to spread for Phil, trying to make Phil want to do it as much as Dan wanted him to do it. Phil looked down between them at Dan displaying himself then back at Dan. He crashed their lips together kissing Dan roughly as he pressed one finger inside smoothly, thrusting it in and out before adding a second finger and finding a steady rhythm.

Dan kissed back needfully, letting Phil dominate the kiss as Dan moaned into it feeling Phil's fingers enter him.

"Mmh fuck," Dan muttered against Phil's lips and kissed him a little harder.

Phil curved his fingers as he thrust them inside Dan aiming to make this the most pleasurable night imaginable for Dan. His own pants were feeling way too tight now.

"Mm Dan, undo my belt," Phil said in a moan into the kiss.

Dan moaned and nodded, quickly undoing Phil's belt, followed by his trousers and boxers. He pulled them down as much as he could right now and then he started stroking Phil.

"Mmmh fuck, your fingers feel so good," He breathed out as his hand worked over Phil's cock.

Phil let out a soft gasp and rolled his hips to thrust into Dan's hand, his mind already thinking about being inside Dan. Phil let out a soft moan.

"God I can’t wait to be inside you," Phil purred and added a 3rd finger suddenly.

Dan gasped at the addition of another finger and it quickly turned into a moan, "Mhh I want you inside me, I’ve been thinking about this since we discussed it; how good it's gonna feel," he said it breathily and bit his lip, "I wanna taste you," he added sounding a bit needier as he licked his lips.

Phil moved his fingers, stretching Dan more. He moved his mouth to Dan's neck and started biting and sucking there. He kept rocking his hips into Dan's hands.

"Daaaan," Phil moaned and sat up not removing his fingers from Dan yet, he focused on angling them at the exact spot, wanting to give Dan a taste of what was to come.

"Mmh Phil," Dan moaned a little louder, Phil's fingers touching that spot and making him want everything so much more. "Phil, I want to taste you. Let me taste you," he said biting his lip harder and still stroking Phil's cock.

"But I want to finger you," Phil said thrusting his fingers harder against that spot. He leaned over and kissed Dan's cheek.  
"Let’s compromise,” Phil said laughing and moved back so he could finish pulling off his pants. He moved back up the bed and looked at Dan, giving him a soft nod to move. Dan moved over and straddled Phil about half way up his body, knees at Phil's hips and bent his head down to take Phil in his mouth without hesitation. Phil moaned loudly at the sudden warmth around him, then moved his fingers back inside Dan, quickly moving back to 3 fingers. His other hand reached around Dan and started stroking his cock along in time with his other movements.

Dan moaned loudly when Phil's fingers re-entered him, causing him to moan around Phil's cock as he worked taking him deeper into his mouth and throat. He licked over Phil's slit and pushed back against Phil's fingers a little. Phil's hips jerked up, thrusting a bit deeper into Dan's mouth.

"God your mouth is amazing," Phil moaned and scratched at Dan's thigh with one hand.

Dan's thighs were sensitive so this caused him to moan again as he purposefully took Phil as deep as he could in his throat and held the position, letting the warmth and wetness surround Phil before he pulled back and then repeated the action.

"Mmm fuck Dan, don't stop," Phil moaned not wanting Dan to quit too soon. He didn’t want to neglect Dan as he was being pleasured though, he curved his fingers and pressed hard against Dan's sweet spot.  "Feels so good."

Dan let out a small gag sound, but only because he couldn't moan with Phil in his throat and so it came out sounding distorted. He pushed further and swallowed around Phil before continuing again with the same repeating action. It was wet and messy but that was always what felt the best. He pulled off needing air and let himself moan properly.

"Mmmh fuck Phil, feels so good."

"I don't wanna wait any longer, I want to have you," Phil said a bit breathless at the amazing pleasure Dan was giving to him.

He pulled his fingers out and ran his thumbs down Dan's inner thighs. Dan shuddered a little at Phil touching his thighs.

"Mmh god okay, please," he said breathlessly and moved off of Phil and sat beside him "How do you want me?" He said meeting Phil's eyes, need showing on Dan's face.

Phil crawled over Dan reaching in the side drawer and pulling out lubricant, leaving the condom behind this time.

"I want you every way... as to what position, you'll just have to find out." Phil teased biting at dans lip as he kissed him, pulling back with a smile and coating himself with lubricant. Phil grabbed Dan’s legs and pulled him closer before hooking them around his waist. he carefully positioned himself in front of Dan's entrance. "Ready?"

Phil ran his hand up Dan's chest and looking over the beautiful boy underneath him. 

"Yes, I want this so much Phil please," he met Phil's eyes and waited, his own lips parted.

This was a first; the incident didn't count, that wasn't sex. But this was, this was real and his heart rate was faster than normal just due to the fact it was Phil that he was sharing this with. Phil nodded softly and pushed inside Dan, only filling him halfway and looking at Dan to make sure he was okay before pushing completely inside. He shuddered slightly at how amazing it felt to be inside him like this. He leaned forward and kissed Dan lovingly.

"Let me know when you're alright, okay?" Phil said giving Dan sweet kisses on his cheek and jaw.

Dan moaned and let Phil kiss him for a second.

"I'm fine, I'm good, wanna feel you move," he mumbled trying to push down against Phil more.

One of Phil's hands held onto Dan's hip as he slowly rocked back, his lips still attached to Dan's neck as he slowly thrusted forward again.

"Oh shit mhmm. It feels different," he muttered and pushed against Phil. The only other experience he had had of sex without a condom was forced, and therefore he hadn't taken any notice of the feel of it.

Now with Phil he was relaxed and completely aware and it was amazing. He could feel Phil's shape and unctrollably moaned, it was skin on skin and it was incredible already. Phil lifted his face up and looked at Dan.

"Feels perfect," he whispered, gazing down at Dan's perfect face.

He kept up the slow pace for a little while but it began to feel like teasing. Phil pulled almost all the way out before thrusting back inside and moving at a quicker pace now. Dan couldn't get over how different it felt, he never wanted to use condoms with Phil ever again. He was moaning every time Phil entered him and it just felt so much smoother, Phil's thrusts that much easier than usual and he felt so close to him.

"I love you," he breathed out, "Kiss me," he said and reached out to Phil's face pulling him closer to kiss him.

Phil didn't respond, he just kissed Dan back passionately, his tongue slipping into Dan's mouth easily. Everything felt so much more sensitive now that there was nothing between them. He shuddered slightly, aiming his thrusts now deeper inside Dan.

Dan moaned against Phil's mouth and bit at his lip. His mind was scattered everywhere. He was thinking about how when Phil leaked precome, it would be inside him. There was nothing separating them, they were united. He started rolling his hips and pushing down onto Phil's cock, trying to get him deeper. Phil pulled away a little and lifted Dan's legs higher, throwing the younger boy's shins over his shoulders and thrusting harder and faster. His hand gripped tightly onto Dan's hip, digging his nails into the skin there.

"God Dan, I love you so much," Phil moaned starring back at Dan lovingly, his mouth still hanging open as he moaned.

Dan didn't answer, just arched his back, then let his head loll to the side a little as his moans got louder. One of his hands reached around and gripped one of Phil's thighs to ground himself as Phil kept thrusting into him. Phil moaned louder, pushing Dan's legs back farther so he could hit deeper now. Concentrating on making Dan feel good, he pulled almost completely out before thrusting back inside, letting Dan feel every bit of what he was taking.

"Oh fuck oh shit," Dan moaned. He could feel Phil so deep inside him and it felt amazing. "Ph-phil don't stop," He was hitting  his prostrate perfectly. Dan's his nails dug into Phil's shoulders.

Phil thrusted a bit faster, loving the sounds Dan was making. He met Dan's eyes and stared back at him.

"God you're so beautiful," Phil moaned, letting one of Dan's legs fall and his hand grabbing one of Dan's and interlocking their fingers, pressing it against the bed.

Dan squeezed Phil's hand and then decided he wanted to hear more pleasure sounds from Phil, so he clenched around him, smirking a little and still meeting his eyes.

"No you are," he said back, lifting his free hand to move his fringe off his face and then do the same to Phil's.

He was still moaning on every thrust, not even attempting to be quiet because it felt to good. Phil moaned loudly.

"Mmmm fuck that feels good," he said, also letting out moans with each thrust. Phil could feel himself drawing closer from the heightened sensitivity.

Dan nodded.

"Feels perfect," He moaned and pushed down against Phil. "God I want it so bad, I can't wait for you to come inside me mmhh," He tightened himself around Phil again, trying to draw him closer.

Phil moaned which turned into a smirk.

"Me too baby, you feel so amazing and you're mine,"

Phil let Dan's other leg fall so he could lean forward the rest of the way and crashed their lips together, the kiss being broken up with moans and "I love you"'s..

"I'm so close Dan, you sure you want me to come inside you?" Phil asked knowing what the answer would be.

"Mmmh fuck, yes, please," Dan moaned kissing Phil back needfully. "I want it," he mumbled against his lips before scratching down Phil's back, giving him more sensations.

Phil moved faster, moaning with every motion.

"Oh f-f-fuck, Dan," Phil moaned as he started coming, filling inside Dan now since there was no condom between them. He smiled as he kept up his motions.

Dan didn't feel anything different to start with but then there was this wet warmth that he could feel being pushed into him as Phil continued his movements. "Oh fuck mmhhh Phil," Dan closed his eyes and focused on the feeling.

Phil's thrusts became easier because it was suddenly so much wetter, there was hardly any friction holding Phil back as he slipped so easily into Dan.

"Oh shit that feels so good," He felt claimed, owned almost, more so than ever before.

That feeling, coupled with how good it physically felt, pushed him over the edge. He moaned loudly and his nails dug into Phil's back as he came from being fucked alone; he wasn't even touching himself and so his orgasm hit him by surprise.

"Oh fuck I'm coming," he moaned out and pressed himself down against Phil's cock, Phil's name falling from his lips over and over.

Phil slowed down his movements as Dan came, reaching between them and stroking Dan to complete his orgasm. The last few bits of come fell from Dan's cock and Phil kissed Dan delicately. He didn’t make any motion to pull out of Dan yet, just holding him close for a little bit longer.

Dan's breathing was heavy and even when he had come down from his high he rolled his hips down onto Phil again, just to feel him. There was wetness between them and as he moved his hips down he let out a small residual moan at the feeling.

"Oh god that was amazing," he muttered, reaching down between them and running his finger along the point where Phil's cock was still inside him.

"Mhm," Phil mumbled as he slowly pulled out, his breath shaky.

He reached between them and unexpectedly pushed his fingers back inside Dan, feeling his own come inside the younger boy. Phil bit his lip as he watched Dan's face while Phil fingered him again that night.

Dan gasped a little not expecting it then moaned, he felt so sensitive.

"Mmh I feel like, claimed... Like... owned. I like it," he muttered as he let Phil finger him, lifting his legs so Phil could see.

Phil sat back looking over Dan.

"You are mine," he said, pulling his fingers out and watching his come drip out of Dan's body. "Can you feel it here?" Phil asked teasing his finger along Dan's entrance.

Dan nodded a small moan adding to the end, then he  lightly pushed his muscles, knowing it would make more come push out of him and watched Phil.

Knowing that he was looking at that for some reason was hot to him, like he claimed him and was now inspecting his work. Phil smiled as he watched more come drip out of Dan. He pushed a finger back inside the younger boy, letting out a soft moan as he did.

"I can feel it inside you too, it's so warm," he pushed in another finger and started stretching Dan again.

Dan whimpered a little and pushed down on Phil's fingers, his own hand dragged over his stomach and ran through his own come. Then he lifted his fingers up to Phil's mouth and smirked a little. Phil smirked back and licked Dan's fingers, flicking his tongue over them before taking them into his mouth and swirling his tongue around. He opened his mouth, silently asking Dan for more. Dan bit his lip, then got more on his fingers, lifting them back to Phil's mouth, watching intently.

Phil moaned around Dan's fingers and curved his own to press against Dan's sweet spot and massage gently. Dan moaned and his body jerked a little as Phil touched him while he felt so physically sensitive. He pulled his fingers back to his stomach again but this time brought it to his own mouth, eyes locked on Phil's as he licked over his fingers. Phil licked his lips,watching Dan lick his own come off his fingers.

"Hey that's for me," Phil said, leaning back down and kissing Dan, slipping his tongue inside his mouth and caressing the younger boy's tongue with his own.

Dan smiled into the kiss, letting Phil dominate it and take his release back from him, then playfully bit at Phil's lip.

"Love you," he muttered against his lips.

"I love you more," Phil whispered, pulling his fingers out of Dan and running his hand up Dan's sides.

He continued kissing him lovingly, his tongue brushing against Dan's every now and again. They kept kissing like that for a little while until Dan needed him closer.

"Cuddle me," He said in between kisses as tears began slipping out of his eyes, pulling at Phil so he was now laying beside him and then got as close as he could to him, making as much skin touch as he could before he started to place little kisses on Phil's cheeks.

Phil wrapped his arms tightly around Dan, caressing his backwith one hand, the other petting his hair.

"How was that for a first?" Phil asked smiling as Dan kissed him.

"Perfect," he said back quietly and kissed his lips again, snuggling even closer to Phil "Thank you, thank you, I have a good memory of a first, not everything got ruined, you saved something," he rambled a little and more tears slid down his cheek. "I wont ever forget this, you don't get how much this meant to me."

Phil kissed Dan's cheek,

"I have an idea," Phil whispered.

He understood what this was for Dan, that's why Phil went so far to make everything over the top for Dan tonight. He wanted it to be the perfect memory so when Dan was hurt he could remember what it felt like to be loved, and knew that someone loved him. Phil felt a bit proud, hearing Dan say he had saved something. That was what Phil was trying to do, save Dan, one piece at a time.

Dan kissed him again, trying to pour all his feelings into it. His hand cupped his cheek and his other arm went around Phil's waist. Then he pulled back and met Phil's eyes. 

"Thank you for being you, for showing me that good people exist, that there is a reason for me to stay alive."

Phil held Dan as close as possible, trying to make the younger boy feel as safe and secure as he could. Nothing could hurt Dan here.

"I'd do anything for you," Phil muttered staring back at Dan.

There was such an intensity between them at that moment, Phil remembered when Dan wouldn't meet his eyes for too long, but now they held the gaze with so much love and emotion. Phil's heart felt like it was going to burst.

"I just... I don't know where you came from," Dan sighed and broke the eye contact, but only to get cozy and cuddle. "It's like my life was this repetitive cycle of nothingness and hurt, with delusions of enjoyment from being wanted... and then you show up... and actually give me meaning, you loved me so quickly, regardless of the fact I have far too many flaws... I mean, not even once have you told me what I do is wrong," Dan was partially thinking out loud but he wanted Phil to hear it, "people like you, as nice as you, jst don't exist. You're almost too wonderful." He laughed a little and pressed a kiss to Phil's neck.

Phil smiled, his heart aching from how precious Dan was, he just wanted to give him the world.

"I'm glad I met you," Phil said, nuzzling Dan's head. "You're not easy to love, but you're definitely worth it," Phil's hand was still running through Dan's hair.

Dan grinned and nuzzled his face against Phil.

"You're easy to love, you make everything easier," He yawned a little then glanced up at Phil. "You really look good post sex Phil, sex hair is a very good look on you,"

He giggled and poked his tongue out. He knew he himself was probably wearing a far more obvious post sex appearance.

Phil laughed.

"You look good too, your cheeks are still flushed," Phil said kissing Dan's forehead. "We still have some wine left if you want it. Or you can go to sleep," he added noticing Dan's yawn.

Dan touched his cheeks and smiled.

"Flushed cause I'm still in shock at how amazing that was. I'm not tired, just relaxed," Dan said and reached over to take the wine glass from the table. He took a sip then held it out to Phil, wanting to share.

Phil took the glass nodding to Dan and taking a sip.

"Relaxed is good," Phil said smiling at Dan and sitting up a bit more. "Anytime you want a massage just ask, I'll be a good boyfriend," Phil laughed a little. He still liked being able to call himself Dan's boyfriend.

"As long as you are okay with massages turning into this," He gestured at their naked bodies and grinned.

"Dan I will never object to having sex with you," Phil laughed.

Dan started playing with Phil's hip, drawing little patterns on it with his fingertips. "I like how our skin looks against each other," He said softly.

Phil looked between them, Dan's lightly golden skin against Phil's pale white was quite stunning.

"Yeah... yeah it looks nice," Phil said in a bit of awe and ran his hand up over Dan's chest the other still holding onto the wine glass.

"Sometimes when I wake up first I sit and look at the contrasts between us. Hook my leg over yours and cuddle against you and it's just a really nice thing to think about when I wake up... To actually have someone to wake up next to so that I can notice that stuff," He blushed a little, not used to sharing thoughts that felt that personal, that were just his.

"It is nice isn't it," Phil smiled leaning in to steal a few kisses. "Don't be shy, you can talk to me about this stuff," it was nice that Dan was feeling more comfortable to talk with him. He hoped this would continue and Dan would open up more and more as time went on.

Dan nodded and took the wine back from Phil, having another sip.

"I know," he said softly and found Phil's hand, entwining their fingers.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY EDITOR IS NOT FINISHED WITH THIS SHE IS HALFWAY THROUGH IT SO THIS IS ONLY HALF EDITED THE UPDATED VERSION WILL COME LATER!!!  
> this is one of my favs too btw ouo


	33. Jealousy is an Ugly Word

They spent the rest of the night cuddling and talking comfortably.

Another week passed and Phil was once again back at the club, but Dan was acting weird this time; he didn't occupy the whole stage like he normally did. Also, he was particularly concentrated on one spot, one man, and that man wasn't Phil. Phil pouted from a distance. He understood this was Dan's work, but Phil was here now, so Dan could get paid to be clingy to his boyfriend so why wasn't he? Phil huffed, a bit irritated with Dan.

On the other hand, Dan had been pre warned that he was here tonight, Mr. Caffery. He was rich and paid those who served him very well, and Dan was his favorite. However other dancers tried to get their claws in and Dan wasn't having it; Mr Caffery paid for one session more than what Dan made in one week. He focused his dance routine towards this man as he usually did when he was here, locking eyes and claiming him with his actions. He smirked at him near the end of his routine and jumped off the stage while it was still going, going straight to the man’s lap and starting to give him a lap dance, no shame, not holding anything back as he rolled his hips and showed him what he had already seen before.

"Nice to see you again, Mr. Caffery," Dan  purred out. He realized that he hadn't even looked at Phil tonight but this was too good of an opportunity to pass up.

Phil sighed, he had never seen this guy here before and Dan was crawling all over him like he was happy he was here. Like the way he did to Phil. What heightened Phil's annoyance even more was that this guy was actually really good looking. Most of Dan's customers were aggressive looking or smelly or old.

The guy was young, maybe 32. He had a nice smile with lush brown hair. From what Phil could see from the suit he was wearing, he looked to be in fit shape too. Phil compared himself to that and he didn't seem to stand a chance. He ordered another drink and chugged it, just wanting to step over there and pull Dan off of the attractive guy’s lap and take him back home at once.

Mr. Caffery smiled at Dan and watched him as he continued to give him a lap dance, not caring who was looking. The music ended and he leaned close and kissed down his neck.

"I missed you baby, you've been away a while," Of course he didn't miss him, he missed his wallet.

Before Phil came along, he had to admit he quite enjoyed his nights with Mr. Caffery, but it didn't compare to Phil. Right now though, this was easy money. Mr. Caffery always liked to play pretend, act as though it was all real, like he was picking Dan up rather than paying for sex, and Dan was fine with that.

Phil scoffed, kinda hoping Dan heard it, although Dan seemed to be so caught up with Mr. Caffery right now that Phil doubted he would notice if Phil got up and left. It was one thing for Dan to have to pick up another customer, that happens, but this was so much different. Dan hadn't acknowledged Phil since he came out on stage, which was also getting to Phil. Dan had said ‘missed,’ so that meant he had seen him before and enjoyed it enough for Dan to be all over him the second he came back. Phil wondered how often Mr. Caffery was here when Phil wasn't; how many times he’d made Dan come. Phil scolded himself, he was supposed to stop getting mad at Dan for having a not-so-uncomfortable night at work. At this time, though, it was so hard when he was this close to his boyfriend seducing another man.

Dan, focused on getting a good paycheck tonight, did all he could to make himself interesting. They started talking a little as Mr. Caffery's hands roamed over Dan's body. Dan leaned into the touches, acting totally claimed while at the same time keeping his seductive side fully visible. Mr. Caffery asked Dan simple questions like how he had been and how work was, and Dan kept giving answers to inflate his ego.

"How’s work? Not the same when you don't come to see me Mr. Caffery, everyone else is so sub standard," Dan smirked, watching Mr. Caffery be a bit satisfied with himself.

He leaned in closer and brushed their noses, then kissed him lightly. It was nothing to Dan, he didn't feel anything from it, this was work and that was all. But he had to be convincing to get paid.

Phil's nails dug into his palms; Dan had just crossed a line. Dan was supposed to only kiss Phil and unless Phil was mistaken, that looked like a kiss just then. Kisses were Phil's, he had to share everything else with these other men he didn’t want to share Dan's kiss too. It was also bothering Phil just how good they looked together. They were both so beautiful. They looked like they could actually be together. More jealousy flaring up inside Phil, he wished he would just walk away but part of him was still sitting there wanting Dan to just give him any bit of attention.

Dan kissed up his neck and Mr. Caffery's hand wound into his hair. After a small moment of this, Mr. Caffery kissed Dan then moved Dan off his knee.

"Going to get us drinks baby, don't go anywhere," he said smirking and squeezed Dan's butt before going to the bar.

Phil waited until Mr. Caffery was a fair distance away before he stood up quickly, taking the few steps over to Dan who still wasn't looking at him. He grabbed Dan's arm and yanked him around  to face him.

"Hey, what the hell are you doing?" Phil asked quietly, trying to not look angry but he definitely didn't look pleased.

Dan's mouth dropped.

"Phil! I'm working what are you doing? You can't interfere when I'm with a client!" Dan hissed looking over at Mr. Caffery who was still in line and hadn't noticed. Thank god.

He looked back at Phil and it made it perfectly clear that he was angry.

"Seriously, you need to go back over there or you’re gonna make me lose my top client."

Phil let go and backed off, still upset. He turned around and stepped back to his chair, flopping down into it and giving Dan a shrug to say he didn't know what was going on with his emotions. All Phil knew was that Dan liked this man being here and Phil was jealous. He couldn't control it though; he wanted Dan to himself but Dan was giving out all the things that were just for Phil.

Dan looked at Phil, confused. He worked all the time, that’s what he did. Yes, he was more up close and personal with this customer, but Phil knew he had to work harder for some of them. He didn't kiss many clients, but Phil knew he had to with some. He looked away quickly when Mr. Caffery returned.

"Here you go Grey," He said and Dan hoped Phil heard it, because it proved that this was just another customer.

"Thanks baby," Dan cooed and slipped back onto his knee as Mr. Caffery started kissing his neck this time, hand moving between Dan's legs. This surprised him a little; usually he was more of the private kind of customer but Dan went with it anyway, parting his legs a little to show consent.

Phil sighed at first; it was bothering him that he was bothered by this. But he smiled to himself a bit, hearing Caffery call him Grey and not Dan. Part of Phil wanted to stand up and shout 'ha' at the man, but of course he refrained. The smile quickly dissipated when Phil saw Caffery touching Dan, making his stomach clench. He was afraid he was gonna see another public showing of Dan and a customer, but this time Dan wouldn’t be calling out to Phil for help. Phil wasn't sure where it was going yet though.

Mr Caffery's head was down and he was nipping at the skin on Dan's neck, so Dan was free to look where he wanted and so looked over at Phil who seemed to be fuming. Dan met  Phil's eyes again then Mr. Caffery spoke.

"I wanna fuck you so bad, I'm being abrupt today. I just missed your body so much," Dan rolled his eyes, knowing that he wouldn't be seen by his client.

"Mmhh baby I want you to fuck me, I missed your cock," He said sounding totally into it but he wasn't. He would have thought Phil would understand how well Dan could act by now.

Phil rolled his eyes too, it was so annoying hearing Dan say things like that to someone else. He knew it was just an act, Dan had said he was just working. But that didn't mean Phil had to like it. What normal person would be totally okay with this?

Dan saw annoyance on Phil's face and he understood, it must be hard to bare witness to someone else's hands all over your partner, but no one made him come here. He came by his own choice and could leave at anytime. Every time Phil came to work with Dan he knew that he might have to see this kind of thing. Mr Caffery tilted Dan's head back and kissed him. Dan rolled his hips back so his ass was pressing against him. He couldn't just not do his job because Phil was staring, but he was worried that his client was going to notice.

Phil got up and walked away. Claire was at the bar and wasn't currently being occupied by a long line of people so he walked up and sat at the bar still pouting and looking back at Dan a little.

"Don't come over here to complain to me," Claire said looking at him. "This is a good night for him,"

Phil made a frustrated face.

"I know that. It’s just... he looks happy with him," Phil said sighing and looking back at them.

"Oh shut it," Claire said sternly. "I've seen him happy, and thats not it. That is work, he is doing what he knows how to do to bring back a paycheck, so stop whining. It’s not like he calls Mr. Caffery on the radio to dedicate love songs to him."

Phil was taken back; Claire wasn't usually so forward and he didn't notice the fact that she mentioned the radio meant that she listened to him every week.

"Now suck it up," she said finally.

Phil made a frustrated sound and walked off. He wanted to see it her way but she wasn’t in his shoes, with her boyfriend being touched by someone else. It was Phil, and Phil was being possessive over Dan now.

Dan noticed Phil get up and walk away but didn't see where he went because Mr. Caffery turned him around so he was straddled over his knees. He kissed down his neck and ran his hands up under Dan's shirt, feeling his chest and then his back. After a few minutes he started to kiss Dan again, deeper and more needy this time. Dan went with it, even deepening it more. He needed Mr. Caffery to need him, because the more Dan worked him up the more he would pay him at the end of the night. Dan's tongue was in his mouth and he moaned into the kiss to give Mr. Caffery the feeling of power over him.

That was too much for Phil, not only was he kissing him, he was moaning into it. Phil huffed, determined to have Dan tonight and remind him who he belonged to. He kept staring at this guy trying to find some physical flaw in him and found nothing. He didn’t realize that that was all Phil was hooked up on right now; everything physical. Phil he couldn't see any reason why Dan would choose Phil over Mr. Caffery; completely caught up in his own thoughts and not thinking about all the emotional things that came with their relationship, or even taking into consideration the fact that someone else wouldn't want to be in a relationship with Dan.

Mr. Caffery's hands worked down to Dan's ass and pulled him closer against him. Dan could feel Phil's eyes boring in the back of his head.

"Wanna take this out the back baby, where we can have some privacy?"

The sooner that they went out, the sooner they would be finished and he could try snap Phil out of the mood he was in. Mr. Caffery nodded and they headed out the back.

Dan gave Mr. Caffery what he paid for and in return was allowed to come himself. It was great sex, he wouldn't deny that but it was just sex. There was no emotions involved whatsoever. It was like a mutual agreement; Mr. Caffery used Dan because his wife didn't have the body he lusted after, and Dan let him because he paid well. Mr. Caffery was Dan's favorite kind of customer, closeted. His kind weren’t into awful and painful kinks; they just wanted sex with someone the same gender. They took a lot longer than the usual time Dan spent with a customer, and the bundle of cash sitting in his pocket reflected that. He thanked Mr. Caffery and left. Then Dan followed his usual routine. Call the cleaner, shower, do his hair and get ready to go back out. He wore his own clothes though; as he had no intention of working any more tonight when he had earned over a week’s pay in a few hours. He headed out to the bar to find Phil.

Phil had been sitting there lost in his own thoughts for quite a while now, only making him more and more possessive as time went by. He wanted Dan. He saw the younger boy come out all clean and dressed; he looked like he was ready to go home. Phil took quick strides over to him, grabbing his wrist and yanking him back toward the back rooms.

Dan was looking around when he felt someone grip his wrist. He almost pulled away but noticed it was Phil. Before he got a chance to speak, he was pulled back in the direction of the back room. Phil opened Dan's door and spun him around to push him onto the bed. It was all very rushed. Phil didn't want to go home, he wanted Dan and to show him before they left that he was Phil's. Phil shoved Dan's shirt up and started biting at his chest, easily leaving behind a mark.

“Ah, what?" Dan hissed a little but nevertheless leaned into it

Phil lifted himself up and tugged Dan's shirt the rest of the way off.

"This is mine," Phil said, putting a hand on Dan's chest then running it up to the younger boy’s jaw and jerking his head to the side. Phil's hands were on his chest and he verbally claimed him.

Dan smirked a little. Jealousy. Phil was getting possessive and it was hot, he was being so dominant.

"I know I'm yours baby," Dan said in his work voice on purpose to annoy him further. He couldn't look at him as his jaw was held up at an angle.

"Stop that," Phil growled and leaned back down, kissing, biting, and sucking at Dan's neck and collar. He wanted Dan to see it on himself that he belonged to Phil.

Dan called everyone baby; it was what he did for work. So Phil wanted his name to come from Dan's lips. Dan moaned, not being able to help it. Phil hardly ever gave him marks; they were always wary that they might not go away in time for work but Dan loved getting marked by Phil, and the pressure Phil was biting and sucking at was definitely gonna leave marks.

"Stop what baby? Oh someone’s feeling a little jealous of Mr. Caffery, is he?" He cooed a little, already feeling a little turned on by the situation regardless how recently he had got off.

Phil lifted his head up and glared at Dan for mentioning the other man’s name. how could Phil not be jealous of that man, Phil had to share his boyfriend with other men every week, but this one had bothered him so much more because of how into it Dan was.

"Did you like it? When he touched you like this, did it feel the same?" Phil said a bit coldly as his hand moved down to run over Dan's crotch through his jeans.

He was staring at Dan's lips for a moment. At first he didn't want to kiss him, knowing he had been kissing someone else, but he couldn't resist the younger boy’s perfect lips and crashed them together roughly, biting at Dan's lip till it was slightly swollen.

Dan shook his head, his resolve faltering for a moment.

"Course it doesn't," he muttered when Phil pulled back from the rough kiss.

He liked possessive Phil, it was hot. But he couldn't lie about something like that, it bothered Dan that Phil would even think that. He met Phil's eyes, wanting Phil to believe him. Dan would just let Phil get this out of his system however he needed to. Dan could handle it rough if thats what Phil needed.

Phil swallowed and crashed their lips together again. He grabbed one of Dan's wrists and pinned it next to his head on the bed. He felt  a bit relieved to hear that. His other hand grabbed Dan's leg and lifted it up to rest on his hip.

"You're mine," he muttered and rolled their hips together, blocked by their jeans.

He needed to vent this claim over Dan. And he knew Dan would let him. Dan bit his lip and simply nodded at Phil, affirming what he had said. He wasn't sure if Phil's intention was to turn Dan on or not but that was the effect it was having. Especially being pinned; even though it was only one wrist and Dan could resist if he wanted to. Of course, he made n effort to free himself and let Phil move him how he wanted to.

"I am yours baby but didn't you ever learn to share your toys?" He said smirking. It was playful but provoking at the same time.

Phil pulled back, pulling Dan closer by his legs and wrapping them around his waist quickly before jerking the younger boy up and slamming into the closest wall. He kissed and bit along dans neck, up to right under his ear.

Dan gasped at the sudden movement and at his back being slammed against the wall but it quickly turned into a moan.

"Sharing's overrated," Phil growled one of his hands scratching down Dan's side.

"Sharing kinda comes with the territory here," Dan said a little breathily. "Maybe I just need you to teach me a lesson, show me what I did wrong?" he bit his lip, biting back his smile.

He was actually having a lot of fun with this. His arms went over Phil's shoulders and hung limply as he waited for Phil's next move.

Phil rolled his hips into Dan's and set the younger boy’s legs on the floor so he could step back and remove his own shirt. He felt more comfortable now that he was with Dan again. He spun Dan around and pushed him into the wall. Phil's hand traveled down caressing over Dan's stomach and crotch, massaging gently before undoing his belt and yanking Dan's jeans down. Phil's other hand moved up to caress Dan's chest now as he kissed the back of his beck.

"You know what you did wrong," he whispered palming Dan through his boxers.

Dan tuned his face to the side, his cheek pressing against the wall as he pushed his hips forward into Phil's hand.

"No I don't know what I did Phil," Dan said feigning innocence. "You seemed so angry though baby, did it upset you seeing his hands on me?" He smirked a little knowing that would rile Phil up more.

Phil was still hating being called baby and he didn’t like it. He pushed Dan harder against the wall, his hand massaging Dan a bit more through his boxers as he spoke. "You were giving him things that are mine," Phil said biting at Dan's shoulder. "He seemed to know you so well."

Dan made a hmph noise being pushed into the wall.

"I like being thrown about by you it's sexy," he whined a little before taking a breath and talking a bit calmer. "He knows Grey well. Very well." He smirked a little "Best paying customer I have too," He paused, "You don't have an issue when other customers get some of what’s yours" he wanted a response on that one.

"He's prettier than me," Phil responded immediately.

That was what it came down to; this was someone Phil could genuinely see Dan being with despite the age difference. And that this was the person who Dan dedicated the entire night too.

"No he isn't. He is attractive, sure. But don't say he’s prettier than you" Dan said instantly, because to Dan he wasn't. Phil was the prettiest by far. "So you don't mind me fucking ugly strangers?" Dan was being crass on purpose.

"I'm bratty I know," Phil turned Dan back to him and threw Dan's arms over his shoulders. "I've never been ignored like that by you before. It caught me off guard."

"I ignored you because he paid me more than I earn in a week," Dan didn't alter their position, still letting Phil have control. "Maybe I should catch you off guard more often because you acting possessive like this is sexy as fuck."

Phil laughed a little and kissed Dan. He wrapped his arms around Dan's waist and brought their hips together. "You like it like this, love? I'm being a bit rough," Phil said.

He was holding himself back from how he wanted to handle Dan, throw him into the bed. Against the wall, up the headboard. But Phil always got too afraid that he could hurt the younger boy and held back.

"No I like it," Dan said biting his lip. "Be as rough as you want, you know I can handle it, I like it," He was trying to stress that he wanted that. "Or I could just try piss you off so you aren't as careful with me... Tell you how I prefer it when I get a good looking customer; how it's better when it’s someone hot fucking you. Plus, he does have a nice body..." He smirked. It was obvious that he was just trying to rile Phil up and there was no malice in his comment.

"I'm gonna smack that smirk off your face," Phil said in a low voice and shoved Dan onto the bed and tugging the boy’s pants off the rest of the way.

He took his own pants off and crawled over Dan placing his knee against Dan's crotch and rolling his hips to provide some friction.

"Do you even want me to fuck you? You've already had such great sex from someone else you don't need me do you?" Phil ran his hand up Dan's arm and pinned his wrists to the bed.

Dan's mouth dropped open a little and a contented almost purr like sound passed his lips when his wrists were pinned.

"Hmm I did have great sex already... but I can always accept more when it's offered baby,"

Dan was intentionally using the word baby now, but he knew that his casualness was unconvincing. He was looking at Phil with want written all over his face, previous sexual activities of the night completely eliminated from him mind.

"Tell me you want it," Phil ordered rolling his hips against Dan's, they could both feel how hard the other was. Phil ran his hand over Dan's chest and started playing with one of his nipples.

Dan moaned lightly then smirked. He couldn't miss this opportunity, he knew Phil was listening when he and Mr. Caffery were talking so he directly quoted himself, this time of course he did actually mean it, but the smirk still played on his lips.

"Mmhh baby I want you to fuck me, I missed your cock," He rocked his hips up trying to gain some more friction.

Phil glared at Dan.

"Fuck you," he moved away so Dan couldn't grind against him. "You're being a brat now," Phil growled and leaned down to bite Dan's shoulder harshly leaving teeth marks behind. "Or you know, I could get off doing other things than being inside you. so now, tell me properly, do you want me to fuck you?"

Dan met Phil's eyes.

"Yes, I want you to fuck me, look at me can't you tell?" Dan was fully hard and his breathing a little off due to anticipation. "I really want you to fuck me, especially when you're in this mood," Dan bit his lip missing the friction Phil had been giving him.

"That's better," Phil said rewarding Dan by kissing him passionately at first, then biting and pulling away.

He moved down Dan’s chest kissing along the skin and getting to his hip bones, biting at him there. Phil liked biting, he liked being bitten and he liked biting Dan. He always had to be careful but right now he didn't care at all about that. He sucked and bit at Dan's skin till he left a mark behind. Phil tugged Dan's boxers down now and tossed them aside.

"Look at you, you're all hard already," Phil moved his mouth lower and started kissing Dan's inner thigh, licking and sucking over the delicate smooth skin there.

Dan moaned, liking all this biting. Phil hardly ever did it.

"You're covering me in marks everyone’s gonna know what we did," He purred out, watching Phil's actions. His movements had given him his arms back and so he ran one hand over Phil's shoulders and back just wanting to touch him. Phil rested his face against Dan's hip looking up at him.

"That's what I want, you're mine, and everyone should know that," he didn't mind Dan touching him right now, he wanted that too. Phil moved Dan so now he was laying on the bed more properly. "There's something I wanna try,"

Phil said and  turned Dan over pulling him up so his knees were in the bed and his ass was in the air. Phil immediately noticed a mark on Dan's ass.

"Seems like someone else was already trying to claim you," Phil said poking the discoloring gently then smacking Dan's ass.

"Fucker, this is why i don't like to share, he didn't return you in the same condition."

Dan smiled knowing Phil couldn't see his face, he made a small moan sound when Phil smacked his ass.

"He was just eager that's all, couldn't wait to fuck me so had to vent it somehow,"

His body was still quite relaxed being how recently he had been with another man, and so Dan purposefully tried to relax his body and muscles so that he was displayed a little more without actually touching himself.

Phil poked his fingers at Dans entrance.

"I think you're stretched enough," Phil said spreading Dan some. "Don't move," Phil said smacking Dan's ass again and moving toward the edge of the bed and opening a drawer pulling out lubricant and a vibrator. Phil returned to his spot behind Dan. "i want to try one of these on you."

Phil said turning it on  and touching it to feel how strong of vibrations it gave off.

Dan felt a little anxious, he had only ever had people use them on him when they were withholding orgasm from him.

"You will let me come though, right? Tonight?" He muttered it almost embarrassed at asking but he just wanted to clear his mind off of that thought.

He wanted this, a lot. Sometimes he just needed reassurance that these things with Phil wouldn't be like they were with strangers. Phil caressed Dan's back in slight comfort.

"Of course I will, Love." Phil ran his hand gently across Dan's back. "You can trust me," Phil had every intention of letting Dan orgasm.

He put lubricant on the vibrator and pushed it against Dan's entrance, turning it on before slowly pushing it inside. Dan breathed out loudly, making an "auh" sound as the vibrator was pushed into place, on already.

"Shit," Dan whined a little as his back naturally arched into it.

"Someone’s sensitive," Phil said tilting the vibrator toward Dan's sweet spot and started moving it back and forth as he caressed Dan's back.

He wasn't complaining though, he loved hearing Dan make noises like this, he just wanted to be the only one who got to hear them.

Dan moaned when the tip brushed over his sweet spot.

"Mmhh yeah I am, you try getting fucked twice with less than an hour in between and tell me you wouldn't be physically sensitive," Dan said breathily then pushed back against the vibrator. Wanting it against his sweet spot more often.

Phil pushed the vibrator deep inside Dan.

"Yeah, not my problem," Phil said and started moving the vibrator faster inside Dan hitting that spot easily.

The vibrator was still on a low setting so Phil turned it up one notch. Phil stared at the mark on Dan's ass and got frustrated, he leaned down and started biting and making his own mark in another spot, like he was reclaiming the territory.

Dan moaned and whined, bucking a little against the toy. It was deep inside him but still not as deep as Phil could take him  He felt a strange sense of deja-vu with Phil's mouth and teeth against the skin of his ass but it was better this time, because it was Phil.

"This is mine." Phil said kissing the mark and lifting his head back up. moving the toy a lot faster now.

Phil moved his hand down and tangled into Dan's hair pushing his face more against the bed.

"Was his cock big? Did it make you feel so good you came?"

Dan made a hmph noise but didn't resist being pushed down more.

"He was... average. I came, but I needed his hand as well as his cock," He said breathily, he would answer anything Phil asked him.  He moaned when he finished speaking, feeling the toy move faster into him.

Phil smirked, boosting his own ego that the man wasn't bigger than him. As expected Dan came from it, but that wasn't a surprise, Dan did say the sex was great. He stopped moving the vibrator and pulled it halfway out.

"Fuck yourself on it," Phil ordered moving his hand off Dan's head to allow the boy to move.

Dan moaned and started to do as requested, pushing back against the vibrator and moaning each time he got it back inside him.

"I will tell you one thing..." He said breathily, pushing back against the toy a few more times before continuing. "He has a good mouth...amazing kisser..." He smirked, knowing that would anger Phil. "And his mouth on my body felt good as well."

Phil scoffed and shoved Dan roughly against the bed and pushed the toy deep inside him turning up the setting all the way and making sure it was aimed directly at Dan's sweet spot. He watched the younger boy’s body shuddering under the feeling.

"Is that so?" Phil grabbed Dan's wrists pinning him forcefully to the bed..

“Ah fuck" Dan moaned loudly as Phil shoved the vibrator deep in him and turned it up. His legs where shaking but he couldn't do anything because Phil has his wrists pinned again

"Let's put your mouth to use then." Phil said getting off the bed and standing next to it.

He grabbed Dan's hair and pulled him over so he was kneeling on the bed in front of Phil, the toy still deep inside him causing the younger boy’s legs to shake slightly. Phil brought Dan's mouth against his cock.

"Suck," he said shoving down his underwear.

"Oh god," he whined before opening his mouth and taking Phil in his mouth, whimpering and letting out small noises constantly due to the pleasure was giving him as it was pressed against his sweet spot.

Phil held onto Dan's hair and started thrusting into his mouth. He liked all the noises Dan was making.

"Did he make you moan like this, were you loud when he fucked you?" Phil asked pulling Dan's head back so he could answer.

"I moaned a little... mhh shit, Phil. N-not like th-this though," he said looking up at Phil and licked his lips, breathing heavy with red cheeks.

"God you're beautiful," Phil said looking at Dan.

He pushed Dan to the side carefully laying him down and pulling the vibrator out of him. He watched Dan, letting him catch his breath for a moment. He could still see some residual shaking in Dan, but it was fading. While Dan regained himself, Phil rummaged through another drawer, finding what he was looking for. He pulled out the handcuffs and put them on Dan's wrists in front of him. Not handcuffing him to anything though, Phil knew he liked the change positions too much to tie Dan down to something. Phil kneeled on the bed.

"C'mere," Phil said as he pulled Dan by his legs over, pulling him up so his ass and lower back were resting on Phil's thighs.

Phil moved his hips slightly and grinded his cock against Dan's entrance.

"I hope you're not tired Dan," Phil said letting one hand run up Dan's stomach to his chest.

Dan didn't speak, he was still trying to get his breathing more under control. He shook his head, he was tired but he wanted this, and being cuffed now made it even more exciting. He let out a small moan when he felt Phil's cock against him

"You're enjoying this, being dominant. Didn't know you had it in you," He said smiling. He wasn't being smart he was genuinely surprised but not complaining. Phil smiled and nodded, he did like the strange feeling of control and possession it gave him. He had to share Dan all the time but suddenly like this he felt like he was in control of everything.

"Didn't think you would want it," Phil said, happy Dan was enjoying Phil being dominating as much as Phil was enjoying it.

He grabbed the lubricant and coated himself with it, not bothering with a condom. He didn't give Dan a warning, just pushed smoothly inside filling him completely. There was hardly any resistance from being stretched with the vibrator and Mr. Caffery only a little while before him.

Dan moaned when Phil pushed into him, straight away noticing that he wasn't wearing a condom and smiling.

"Gonna claim me with your come as well are you?" he said smirking and then bit his lip at the satisfaction at being full again.

"That was the plan, cause you're mine, and I can,"  Phil said thrusting right away, with the angle Dan's hips were elevated he could easily get deep inside.

Phil's hands were gripping tightly to Dan's hips and his hand moved to Dan's lower stomach pressing down a little as he thrusted.

"I can feel me inside of you," he said softly.

"Oh fuck," Dan moaned out loudly, Phil pressing down on his stomach was making him feel it more as well. "Mmh that's really hot," he said breathily and arched more so Phil would feel it that little bit more.

Phil continued to thrust inside Dan, filling him up completely. He was moaning loudly with each movement, his thrusts got harder and faster and he pulled Dan  up so he was straddling him and Phil guided the younger boys hips.

Dan was pulled up and tried to move with Phil, he was guiding him but his body was tired. He wanted this, god he wanted this. He was so turned on but he hadn't banked on sleeping with two people tonight and so had tired himself out with Mr Caffery. He kept the movements up for a short moment but made a slightly frustrated noise, wanting to be able to do this however Phil wanted but his body was physically letting him down. He couldn't get his timing right, and Phil's guiding was showing that as on some thrusts Dan would hardly move or move too late. He shook his head annoyed at himself. He didn't like failing.

Phil could feel Dan was tired, Dan had said he wasn't but it was showing here, but that was ok, Phil only moved them like this to transition to another position. Phil kissed the side of Dan's face a couple times.

"It's ok love you're perfect" Phil said  and held onto Dan's back as he supported him. he moved them now against the headboard, Dan's back pressed into it and Phil holding up Dan's legs.

"I've got you," Phil made sure Dan was fully supported and that he could still move when he moved Dan's handcuffed hands down to his cock. "You can touch yourself"

Phil said softly giving Dan more kisses to the cheek before holding onto Dan's legs and moving again. Dan nodded and moaned, thankful for the position change. His hands wrapped around his cock and pumped lazily.

"Just cause I'm tired doesn't mean you can’t play rough by the way," he said quietly with a small smirk before biting his lip at the pleasure he was getting.

When Phil was fully inside him he would grind his ass down against Phil so they were flush against each other and he could feel Phil moving inside him because of how he moved his hips.

"Shit," he moaned. "God I love it when you're inside me"

Phil moaned at the way Dan was moving, causing an amazing feeling, he smirked leaning close to Dan.

"I was being nice, I can be rough if you want," Phil said pulling Dan a little off the wall only to slam him back into it.

Holding up his legs and thrusting harder and faster. Making their bodies rock against the headboard. Dan moaned loudly, it was high and needy sounding.

"Oh fuck yes," he muttered and kept his grinding movements up whenever Phil was fully inside him. It was dirty and needy and therefore hot as hell to Dan. "I love you"

He muttered out, hand still lazily pumping his cock as he relied on Phil for balance. Phil moaned too, it felt amazing and just the excitement from it alone was making the pleasure more intense.

"I love you too," Phil replied biting at Dan's neck now. Keeping his thrusts fast and rough and needy. "D-dan, say my name," Phil said in a moan as he dug his nails a little int Dan's legs.

Dan's body shuddered a little as Phil hit his sweet spot straight on.

"Oh fuck oh fuck Phiiill," he whined his name a little and his head fell back, hitting the wall. "Mmmhh please don't stop," His hand started working a little faster on his cock now. "Phil fuck."

Dan's eyes were closed and he was just getting lost in the sensations Phil was giving him. Phil moaned more now loving the way his name sounded coming form Dan's lips.

"Oh shit," Phil moaned against Dan's neck and kept his motions up. "Dan, come for me," Phil said in a low voice his teeth dragging over Dan's neck again.

Dan moaned loudly and his hips jerked a little.

"Oh fuck fuck fuck," His eyes were still closed and his head lolled to one side and he let out a loud high pitch moan, his body felt so sensitive right now and with Phil all over him like this it was to much.

He came hard, hardly even stroking himself anymore, mouth hanging open as his muscles clenched around Phil tightly. He whimpered Phil's name over and over as his orgasm shot through him, he wasn't even there anymore. His mind went blank and there was just his breathing and Phil's noises that existed as he went limp and let Phil continue to fuck into him.

Phil moaned feeling Dan tighten around him, he could feel the come sticking to their chests. it was getting too hard to hold Dan up so he pulled him over to lay him on his back bending Dan's leg up. He kept up his thrusts watching Dan still handcuffed and under him. Phil moaned pushing Dan's leg open farther as he continued to thrust inside him. He was getting close but not close enough yet. he pushed down on Dans stomach again feeling himself inside the younger boy.

"Oh god," Phil moaned in a low voice his thrusts going on for only a couple more moments before he was coming, spilling inside Dan. He let out one last loud moan  his breath heavy now.

Dan kept making small moans after he came, loving how Phil felt inside him still as he himself started to work down from his high. Phil pushed on his stomach again which drew a louder moan from Dan

"Mmhhh Phil," Dan moaned when Phil came inside him, it still being a new experience and a feeling he was starting to get addicted to.

Phil's thrusts slowed down and he slowly pulled himself out of Dan, running his hands up Dan's sides and admiring the mess of come splattered over him. Phil smirked and leaned down flicking his tongue out and cleaning some of it up.

"This is mine too," Phil whispered and he licked the come off Dan's chest.

As Phil pulled out Dan tightened his muscles, holding Phil's release deep inside him. He smiled when Phil licked his chest.

"More people are after my ass than my come," he said sounding lazy.

Phil tilted his face up at Dan and smirked.

"That's also mine," Phil leaned back and held Dans legs open so he can look over his work. He put a finger against Dans entrance  and could feel Dan was tightening himself.

"Hey," Phil said teasing his finger along. He reached over and pushed on Dan's stomach.

Dan let out a small moan when Phil pushed down against him and it basically forced his muscles to relax and he felt some of Phil's come run out of him. He opened his legs wider to display it all better to Phil. And with his hands in cuffs, looking thoroughly fucked with his legs spread he was being the perfect definition of sexy.

"That's better," Phil smiled admiring the view that was Dan, he stuck his fingers inside Dan and forced some more come to drip out. He leaned close to Dan and gave him a kiss on the lips. "See, you're mine"

Phil said running his hand over the marks along Dan's chest and neck. Dan was claimed by Phil in every way. Dan nodded biting his lip.

"Look at me, course I'm yours. You made sure of that look at the state you've made me," He moved his hips down against Phil's fingers, he liked it when Phil did that. It was like he was inspecting his work, checking how well Dan had taken it.

Phil laughed a little bit

"Yup,"

He felt much better now, the feelings  he had when thinking of Mr Caffery touching Dan had passed and he was going back to his general sweet nature. He gave Dan one more quick kiss before rolling next to him, removing his fingers from inside of the younger boy.

"You want out of the handcuffs or can i take you home like this?" Phil asked playing with the metal and lightly touching Dan's wrist.

Dan laughed and gave Phil casual shrug,

"You can take me home like this if you want to, walk me out there like this show everyone I'm yours," he was joking of course, but if Phil had wanted that he wouldn't object. Dan was used to all sorts of things that were meant to be humiliating or putting him in his place, but with Phil it just felt fun.

"Nah," Phil smiled and kissed Dan's cheek as his fingers found the latch and released Dan from the cuffs. he nuzzled Dan softly. "Thank you for that"

Phil said in a quiet voice. Dan just put up with Phil being so jealous he had to physically put marks on Dan to claim him, to Phil that was a bit out of line, but they both enjoyed it. Still Phil wanted to thank Dan for understanding what Phil needed, and trusting him to not abuse that.

Dan smiled.

"It's fine, I liked it, are we feeling better now?" he smirked a little.

He like that Phil was this possessive over him, to Dan is just displayed how much Phil  cared about him. He rubbed his wrists a little, he hadn't hurt them but they always felt a little sore next to the bone when he got his arms back.

Phil wrapped his arm around Dan's waist.

"Mhm,  I wanna go home" Phil said lifting his face up and looking at Dan.

That was something Phil had that no one else had. Dan invited him back to his home, Phil was welcome there so much we moved in. No one else got to do that.

"Okay lets go then," Dan said kissing Phil a few times.

He wanted cuddles, and he wanted them at their home. He didn't even bother to tame his hair. Just pulling his clothes on and looking in the mirror. There were very visible marks on his neck and his hair was all over the place.

"Ready?" he said smirking a little.

Phil looked over Dan and smiled, proud of his work.

"Yep,"  he said smirking and turning to leave the room now that they were both dressed.

They headed back into the bar walking close together. The club was nearly dead with how late it was. Claire saw them, she looked at Dan and back to Phil, and smirked noticing all the marks on Dan's neck.

He grabbed Dan's hand as they made it out the door and took a deep inhale of the night air. They got outside and got a taxi, and before long they were arriving home.

Dan unlocked the door and flopped on the couch. He was quite tired and a little sore from how much activity had gone on tonight.

"Oh I forgot, I wanted to show you why I seemed so into him," He stood up and walked back over to Phil in the kitchen, pulling the wad of notes out his back pocket and handing them to Phil "See?"

Phil's eyes went wide and the amount of money Dan had. Phil flipped through it vaguely counting what was there.

"Oh shit,... jesus," Phil set the money down. "That makes a lot of sense now." Phil said laughing a bit.

Dan had seen that man times before, before he met Phil and, before Phil, Dan relied on this for survival. It was just a coincidence that Mr Caffery was so attractive because when it got down to it Dan only wanted his money. He put his arms over Dan's shoulders and brought him a bit closer.

"I'm sorry I stepped out of line in there, I was scared he was gonna take you away from me"

"No one's gonna take me away from you, I'm yours" He said and leaned in to press a kiss to Phil's lips. "Mr Caffery comes in once a month, I'm his favorite, and he pays a fuck load of money. He isn't abusive or anything, he's just closeted and wants to fuck a man. That's it. He's a perfect customer cause I get a lot, and don't need to get hurt in the process. So as a customer, I like him a lot." He paused "but in life, as the person I love and want to be with, I'll always chose you, I'm yours, until you leave,"

He kissed him again. He didn't want Phil to feel threatened, they weren't a threat. None of them had anything on what Phil and him had together. Phil pulled Dan close in a tight hug, hiding his face into Dan's hair.

"I love you so much," Phil felt a bit foolish.

He shouldn’t have doubted Dan, Phil would actually prefer all of Dan's customers to be like Mr Caffery if it meant Dan wouldn’t be hurt and could make a lot of money, he kissed the side of Dan's head a couple times and pulled away touching Dan's face now.

"I'm never gonna leave you," Phil said caressing Dan's cheek and pulling his face in for a kiss.

Dan kissed back.

"You will, but until then I will be happy," he said softly and pulled Phil closer "We should go cuddle now," He hadn't got much in the way of post sex cuddles and felt like he needed them.

Phil nodded and pulled Dan gently to their bedroom. He stepped over to the drawers and pulled out a pair of pajama bottoms as he got undressed and pulled them on. He stepped into the bathroom to brush his teeth before getting into bed. Dan stripped down to his boxers, having showered and brushed his teeth after Mr Caffery had left. He lay down on his side and brought his knees up slightly to get into cuddle position. When Phil left the bathroom Dan looked at him.

"Let the cuddling commence," He said pointing to the space in front of him "There is a Phil sized space."

Phil smiled and quickly moved over to the bed, crawling in and wrapping his arms around Dan.

"Hmm you're right I fit here perfectly," Phil said with a small laugh leaning in to give Dan a kiss.

Dan let his legs entwine with Phil's and kissed Phil back.

"You do indeed," He said giggling and kissing Phil softly. He reached up and ran his hand over his own marks, smiling a little into the kiss.

Phil ran his hand down Dans hip and thigh.

"It's really late," Phil said softly, his glasses slipping off his face a little but not moving his lips away from Dan's.

"Mhm," Dan muttered into the kiss but didn't end it, he would never get sick of kissing Phil, and it didn't matter how tired he was he always loved his kisses.

His hand worked into Phil's hair, the other running over Phil's chest and stomach just lightly touching his skin. Phil made a soft sigh when Dan's hand ran over his chest. He pressed his lips a bit harder against Dan's. He couldn't resist kissing Dan, he was always so perfect at it. Their lips moved so perfectly together in a way that was exciting and loving and relaxing all at the same time. Phil's hand on Dan's thigh brought his leg more on top of Phil's so their hips were pressed against each other.

 

Dan pulled himself closer to Phil and playfully bit at his lip before continuing to kiss him. It was gentle and sweet, not rushed. Greatly contrasting their kisses at the club.

Phil smiled, he did that a lot when kissing Dan, it just made him so happy, this whole thing was something he never imagined. If he ignored the club his life was perfectly content at the moment. He had a beautiful boyfriend, a perfect job, they lived together. It was a dream with a catch attached to it. But it was worth it.

"We’re never gonna go to sleep if we don't stop kissing," Phil muttered against Dan's lips still not pulling away.

"But I love kissing you," Dan mumbled but he was sleepy, he could hardly keep his eyes open at this point, he pulled back. "Okay let’s make a deal. We sleep now, and whoever wakes up first gives the other good morning kisses."

Phil leaned forward and stole one more kiss.

"Deal,” he said and pulled off his glasses, reaching behind him to put them on the nightstand. he snuggled back against Dan, wrapping his arms around Dan's waist. "I love you."

"Love you too," Dan said softly and nuzzled close, closing his eyes and slipping into sleep quickly.

Phil smiled and fell asleep hugging close to Dan, so grateful to have him in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see i told you guys the attractive character wasn't too big of a deal ouo  
> i woke up at 6am to queue this for you guys.  
> i cant feel my eyeballs


	34. I Don't Think That They'd Understand

Phil smiled and fell asleep in Dan’s arms, so grateful to have him in his life.

When Phil woke up the next morning he lazily peeked his eyes open and looked at Dan who was still sound asleep next to him. He glanced at his phone for the time and snuggled back into Dan’s warm arms, giving him a few kisses to the forehead and then working down his face and finally to his lips.

"I win," Phil said lazily, giving Dan kisses to wake him up.

"I wanted you to win," Dan mumbled sleepily, kissing back a little out of sync with Phil when he got to his mouth. "Good morning," he said and turned his face more towards Phil for more kisses.

"Good morning," Phil said softly moving his hand up to cup Dan's face. "How does your everything feel?" Phil asked knowing Dan was covered in bruises from where Phil's mouth had been on him.

"Dunno yet," Dan muttered. "It will be fine," he smiled and  looked over at Phil with sleepy eyes. "How bad does everything look?" he asked smiling.

Phil reached behind him and grabbed his glasses putting them on his face before looking over Dan's body. He giggled a bit.

"Well...I promise I was not trying to eat you," Phil said laughing a bit and running his hand over the marks on Dan's chest and neck. "You look beautiful, cause you're mine," Phil said lovingly as he caressed Dan's neck.

"Oh I'm scared now," he said giggling "Cuddles?" he pulled Phil closer."I am yours, definitely, always".

"Mhm," Phil nodded and snuggled next to Dan running a hand through his hair.

He loved relaxed morning cuddles like this. It always seemed to erase memories of the club.

"Did you have any plans for the day?" Phil asked softly.

"Nope," Dan said yawning and snuggling against Phil's neck. "Do you?" he just wanted to spend the day with Phil, he didn't care what they did.

"Not yet, I was just thinking maybe we could call Chris and Pj, I'm sure they would like to hang out with you again,"

As marked as Dan was, Phil didn't mind if other people saw it, especially not his friends. He didn't expect to keep Dan hidden from the world for a week until the marks healed. Dan smiled, happy that Phil wasn't embarrassed to be seen with him all marked up.

"They will know you got all bite crazy," he said giggling.

"Sooo," Phil laughed and kissed the top of Dan's head. "I don't mind one bit who knows, I'm proud of those marks."

Dan giggled again.

"Okay sweet, you should call them then," he said drawing little patterns on Phil's arm with his fingers.

"Hmm lets stay here a little  bit longer," Phil said wrapping his arms around Dan and cuddling close again.

After cuddling for a few more minutes Phil started stretching and making motions to sit up.

"Is it alright if I invite them here? I don't wanna invade the apartment, but I don't feel like going out either."

"Baby it's your apartment too you live here," Dan said softly. "You can invite people here whenever you want okay? We can watch movies and eat food and stuff."

Phil smiled and leaned down to kiss Dan sweetly. Hearing Dan call him baby didn't bother him when it was in this voice rather than the Greyson voice. This was Dan being affectionate and that was alright with Phil.  He picked up the phone and called Pj, asking if he wanted to stop by and hang out for a bit. He agreed and Phil hung up to call Chris who couldn’t make it because he was spending time on a TV set all day. Phil hung up the phone and snuggled back down.

"Okay Love, Pj can come over but not Chris, he's busy. Pj will be here in a few hours though, give you enough time?"

"Plenty. I just need to shower and try make myself look a little better," he giggled. "You too, you are all scruffy-like," Dan kissed Phil's cheek softly and cuddled down again. "Five more minutes here though."

Phil set an alarm on his phone.

"Alright, only five minutes though. I know we end up taking more time. If Pj gets here before you're ready, you're answering the door looking like this," Phil said running his hand over Dan's bare skin.

"He would think you're really kinky probably," Dan said smiling and closing his eyes to make the most of his five minutes. "Feels nice," he muttered in reference to Phil's hand on his skin.

Phil smiled and pressed his face into the top of Dan's head. He continued running his hand along Dan's back a bit more firmly, slightly massaging him. He closed his eyes as he kiss the top of his head, feeling Dan relaxing into him.

The five minutes were up too soon. Phil turned off his phone and looked down at Dan. "Love, time to get up now," Phil said softly nudging Dan and kissing his head.

"No," Dan said but sat up "Damn it. Okay shower time, let’s go. We will do all this fast, then can have coffee and cuddle before he arrives!"

He giggled and proceeded to push Phil out the side of the bed to make him move faster and then rushed off to the bathroom.

Phil quickly followed Dan, chasing him to the bathroom and spinning him around to kiss him. Dan smiled into the kiss and pulled away to back up and turn the water on. Phil pulled Dan by his hips closer again and started tugging down his underwear. Dan shimmied out of his underwear, pulling Phil's pajama pants down before jumping into the water and smiling at Phil gesturing for him to hurry up.

"I want a decent amount of Phil and coffee time so wash fast," he said poking his tongue out.

Phil stepped out of his pajamas and into the shower, wrapping his arms around Dan's waist as he got Dan's hair wet to be washed. They quickly showered, taking turns washing each other. Phil stepped out of the shower, grabbing their towels and quickly towel drying his hair and body.

Dan got dressed and dried and straightened his hair.

"Do I look acceptable now?" He said smiling and handing the straightener to Phil.

Phil took the straightener.

"You're perfect," he said and straightened the little bits of hair that flipped out.

He turned it off, now facing Dan, he ran his hands up his chest.

"Now you have me to yourself for another hour," Phil whispered leaning his face close to Dan's.

"Yay," Dan said and pulled Phil forward by his collar, pressing their lips together softly.

Phil smiled as he kissed Dan back. He pulled away and grabbed Dan's hand tugging him  over to the lounge and flopping down opening his arms for Dan to cuddle. Dan sat next to him and cuddled against Phil instantly.

"Do you think Pj likes me? Or is pretending just cause I'm your boyfriend?" He asked softly and he cuddled closer to him.

Phil laughed lightly, "Of course he likes you," He pulled Dan as close as he could, "You haven't given him a reason not to," Phil kissed the side of Dan's head.

"I need to have some kind of alias to what I do for a living, I need to make something up," Dan said blushing. Pj wouldn't like him if he knew what his life was really like.

Phil rested his face against Dan's shoulder.

"Hmm," Phil thought for a minute. It wasn't that he thought PJ wouldn't like Dan, no. PJ wouldn't like Phil if he knew. He wouldn't like what situation Phil had put himself in.

"See? You hmm'd. He would think I was bad and that you should leave and I don't want you to leave. So what can my job be? Maybe I'm a secretary at your work? Like super basic person who gets coffee? That's believable maybe," Dan didn't really realize how he instinctively gave himself the worst job level, he just saw that as where he fit. Even that was above him in his own mind.

Phil lifted his face and looked at Dan.

"No it wasn't that he would think you were bad, he would still like you, but he would think I got myself in a situation that he doesn't think I can handle, but I can, I can deal with all this." Phil pulled Dan's legs over so the younger boy was more on his lap. "Maybe we can say you're the new tech person, who sets up all my songs before the show. That’s a really important job. Hey, PJ might not even ask what your job is."

Phil knew that wasn't true. The two of them living together in a place that wasn't Phil's apartment - PJ would assume the younger boy had a job if he wasn't going to school.

"I couldn't do a job like that, that's for smart people," Dan muttered looking down. "It would need to be a super basic job to be believable,"

His hands twisted into the sides of Phil's shirt to distract himself. He felt inadequate to Phil, to everyone in the real world, because no job was as low as a hooker and therefore he was only capable of that.

"Pj doesn't know anything about you, as long as your age fits he would believe you." Phil pet Dan's head, wanting Dan to feel worth more, but the younger boy always put himself to the lowest standard. "You can be anything you want to be Dan. I never went to university either and I swear I skipped more days of my senior year of college than I attended. I just have a paper that says I went. I'm not any better than you."

Dan shook his head.

"You are though, because at the age when you were skipping class I was fucking strangers for money," He said quietly."But anyway, okay, we can go with that if you think it's believable," he said snuggling a little and putting his head in the crook of Phil's neck wanting comfort.

Phil sighed softly. It frustrated him when Dan wouldn't listen, but it would be hard with what he had been told the past years. It was hard for Dan to see himself as worth more than being a hooker.

"Dan," Phil said softly.

He liked saying it, kind of to remind Dan that there was another person there and that he wasn't grey all the time, and grey didn't have to exist. Phil ran his hand comfortingly through the younger boys hair. There were words on the tip of Dan's tongue but he refused to say them out loud.  'I want to quit' and 'I want to be worth more'  but also 'I want to be worth more so that I am what you deserve'. He held them all  back though, replacing them with a simple "I love you" because really, it was the same thing anyway. He wanted these things because he loved Phil, and Phil deserved more than the love of a hooker.

"I love you too," Phil said softly kissing Dan's forehead.

It was getting harder each week, and Phil knew he would have to speak up soon. Some days would seem normal and they could convince themselves that it was a normal relationship. But it was always there in Phil's mind when he said goodbye to Dan before work: Dan was off to sleep with another man, or more. And what made it worse was the younger boy didn't even want it. It wasn't like he was cheating on Phil. He just didn't think he could do more. And Phil didn't know how to convince the younger boy he could.

If he'd always been treated like he's a whore, he won't stop thinking he has to be one. Someday Phil would get the guts to tell Dan to quit, when he had a better option for Dan. Phil decided that he would start looking around town for simple jobs.

Dan kept close to Phil and soon their hour passed and there was a knock at the door. Dan sat up and moved to sit on the couch next to Phil so he was free to get up and let Pj in, as he was his friend.

Phil kissed Dan before getting up and answering the door. It was a shame; he was excited to see his friend but now he was here Phil just wanted to be alone with Dan again. He hugged Pj and let him come inside.

"Phil you downgraded. This apartment is smaller than your other one," Pj said patting Phil on the back.

"Ha yeah I like this one though, it's cozy ya know," Phil said smiling.

Pj began taking off his shoes and jacket instantly relaxed around Phil.

"Ah yeah I feel ya, this place is perfect size for you two." Pj said and Phil hung up his jacket. "Speaking of, where is the oh so shy one?"

Phil smiled at Pj.

"He's in the lounge, can I getchu anything to drink?"

"Nah I'm fine right now," Pj waited for Phil to guide the way over to the lounge. Pj looked over at Dan and grinned. "Hey kid how are ya?"

Dan looked up and smiled.

"Hello Pj, I'm good how are you?" He said cheerily as the 2 of them joined him in the lounge.

Dan instantly shuffling closer to Phil when he sat down again and kissing his cheek smiling. He was relaxed, they were at their home which was less daunting than being out in public. He just really hoped his job didn't come up in the conversation.

Pj took a seat on the other couch facing them.

"All's well here," he looked over Dan and saw the marks on his neck. "Phil you do know he’s your boyfriend and not a chew toy," Pj said laughing.

Phil laughed a little and shrugged.

"I can't help it," he said leaning against Dan.

"I like this one, so don't eat him," Pj said winking at Dan.

Phil blushed.

"I'm not gonna eat him!" he exclaimed his cheeks turning pink.

Dan blushed and giggled.

"He made a good attempt at it though," poking his tongue out at Phil.

He met Phil's eyes and smirked a little, it was only them that knew what those marks meant really, just how much they stood for.

Phil smiled at Dan, staring back at him.

"Hey you two, don't make me shove you in a room for having eye sex," Pj said and they laughed.

They chatted like that for a little while and Phil started to stand up pulling away from Dan.

"I'm gonna go make some coffee," Phil said getting himself free from Dan's arms, "Don't harass him while i'm gone Peej," Phil left the room and Pj looked over at Dan.

Dan laughed and turned to Pj.

"So what have you been up to since I last saw you?" he asked wanting to keep the conversation going, and also keep the focus on Pj and not on himself.

Pj gave a soft nod as he thought about it.

"Preparing for school then starting school I guess. I do visual animation, it's good fun really but even for just drawing all the time it can be a lot of work. I know you said you don't go to school right now, are you planning to in the future or? What goes on in Dan's life aside from Phil?" Pj asked innocently,

He was just curious who this boy was that appeared out of no where and has been dating his friend for the past few months. He would be lying if he said he wasn't a little bit defensive, he has seen phil through past relationships, he knows about Phil's family. He just didn't want to see Phil go through losing someone again.

Dan blushed, suddenly anxious and averted his eyes. He didn't like lying.

"Oh um I um, I work at the radio with Phil. I load the music in before the shows... and stuff," he blushed deeper but looked up and smiled slightly. He knew he messed that up, but he hadn't had normal jobs, he didn't know how to describe them.

Pj looked at Dan a bit suspiciously. From the moment they met he thought Dan looked familiar. Pj had seen the radioshows a few times and wondered if he had ever seen Dan on there.

"Well that's cool I guess, do you work for other radio hosts or just Phil?" Pj asked he didn't mean to turn this into an interrogation, Dan seemed so scared of him he wanted to just drop it, but that would be rude too.

"Others too..." Dan guessed. "Phil do you need any help?" He jumped up quickly and went into the kitchen and approached Phil. "I messed up I'm sorry I didn't know what to say he knows it was a lie I can tell," he said quickly to Phil, quietly so Pj wouldn't hear. Dan was suddenly very scared. If Pj found out, he would tell Phil to leave him. What if Phil listened?

"Shh, no he doesn't it's fine," Phil said, running his hands into Dan's hair and pulling him close. He kissed his forehead a few times. "Dan even if he knew, nothing would change between you and me, it would just make him really defensive and that's not something I'm ready to deal with yet. that's all," he kept kissing the scared boy. "You left Pj in there all by himself," Phil said and lifted Dan's face to look at him.

"If he kept asking me stuff I was gonna mess up, he wanted to know If I worked for other Djs too and I said yes cause you only do one show a week and that wouldn't be believable but he was gonna ask me who and I don't know anyone you work with and so I said I needed to help you with the coffee," Dan blurted out and blushed. "Im sorry I'm not good with normal interaction outside of work, I don't get how it works you know that," He leaned into Phil's hand that was in his hair and tried to calm down a little.

Phil gave Dan a soft kiss to help calm him.

"It's okay, you did well," he said kissing Dan again, he understood Dan got anxious around normal conversations.

If Phil had asked Dan to seduce Pj that would probably have been an easier task than holding a conversation with him without saying what he does for a job.

"I do need help though," Phil said as he handed Dan 2 cups of coffee. "Yours and mine, can you carry that and I’ll carry Pj's?"

Dan nodded and took the cups.

"You go first," he mumbled feeling shy again now that he had messed up.

He followed Phil out placing the cups down in front of his and Phil's spots then sat, smiling at Pj again to try recover the situation.

Pj smiled back and took the coffee from Phil.

"Peej stop harassing my boyfriend, he doesn't like talking to strangers," Phil said sitting back down next to Dan.

"Sorry I didn't mean to scare you, just trying to learn who you are and stuff. You're with Phil so that makes you my friend too, " Pj said smiling comfortingly at Dan.

He wasn't sure what he had said to frighten Dan away, but even that was helping him learn more about this mysterious boy.

"We should play mario cart," Phil said facing Dan. "That way all of us can play."

Dan nodded.

"Yes that sounds good, lets," hoping the game would be enough of a distraction for Pj to forget about it.

Phil set up the game council and they played happily for a while. Dans competitiveness showing through as he won multiple times, Pj coming in second and Phil a few places behind. After the last round Pj stood up.

"I need to use the restroom, maybe Phil can win if I stop hitting him with shells."

Phil laughed and nodded.

"Yeah it's uh down the hall, the door should be open," Pj walked away and found the bathroom.

It was a bit strange to him how much sexual preparation stuff they had in here, he wrote that off as maybe Dan just liked to be extra careful but then he found some clothing folded on the counter. He took a look at it and suddenly he could feel everything click where he had seen Dan before. When Phil started being busy every friday. His stomach dropped. Dan was a dancer from the club him and Chris always went to, that was why he had looked so painfully familiar. But that club was more than just dancing, Pj knew what went on after a certain time at night. He just never stayed around for it. Suddenly things were being clear as to why Dan was so timid about where he worked. He was a whore. Pj just didn't recognize him without the lights and confidence and with the whore clothing on. Pj felt defensive over Phil again, what did a whore want with Phil? Pj didn't want Phil going through any more stressful situations, after the past 4 years of his life being alone he didn't need someone like Dan. Pj assumed Dan was his real name and Greyson Bear was his stage name. He took a breath and after using the bathroom returned to the lounge and stared at Dan on the couch with Phil. His perspective of him seemed so warped now. He had thought he was just shy and just out of school but now he was something so much more, and to Pj he was a threat to Phil's happiness. Phil and Dan just finished up the last round and Phil managed to make it to second place.

"I did it!" he exclaimed smiling brightly at Dan.

Dan giggled and kissed Phil's cheek.

"See? you are good at it, just not as good at me," He was being playful now, having relaxed again.

He didn't notice Pj staring since he was too transfixed on how cute Phil looked when he achieved something.Phil smiled happily, proud of himself. Pj smiled softly for a moment, he liked how happy Phil looked. Phil turned and gave Dan a kiss moving his hand up to Dan’s face. Pj rolled his eyes. Suddenly everything Dan did just seemed like an act with hidden motives to hurt Phil.

"Alright can you stop," Pj said his voice coming out much more serious than before when he was playfully teasing them. Phil pulled away from Dan blushing

Dan blushed.

"S-sorry," he said quietly.

He didn't want to make Pj uncomfortable but he was confused because up until now he had been playful about it, not seeming bothered at all that they were being affectionate. It was kind of how Dan was coping with being social as well so now he felt a little awkward and didn't know what to do with himself. He clasped his hands together and looked at Phil for a second before looking at the floor, just wanting them to play the game again as then it would feel more comfortable.

Phil put his arm around Dan.

"Oh Peej we almost finished watching that tv show you lent me," Phil said directing his attention toward Pj who was still staring at Dan and it made him uncomfortable, like he was judging the younger boy.

Pj turned toward Phil his expression softening a little.

"Oh yeah, how ya liking it?"

"We love it, we just have a few more episodes left, then we can give you back the box set,"

Phil kept referring to him and Dan as a we,  and Pjs expression went cold again.

"Can you stop saying we, you're two different people,"

Phil stared back at Pj and turned to Dan.

"Love can you put these in the sink?" Phil said and watched Dan stand up taking the mugs and leaving the room. "Pj? What’s your deal? You're acting weird," Phil said a bit sternly but his voice having a bit of hurt in it.

He didn't like his closest friend acting this way. Pj huffed and looked away for a moment.

"You know what his job is?" Pj said not looking at Phil.

Phil's stomach tightened.

"Yeah he works at the radio station," Phil said his voice not holding up with him.

"Cut the crap he's a prostitute," Pj said looking back at Phil again.

Phil looked down. He looked so hurt like he was gonna cry, not liking the way Pj was treating the situation.

"I love him," Phil said softly.

Pj sighed a little. He didn't want to make Phil upset.

"And he loves your wallet, right?"

Phil glared up at him.

"Pj stop," he said his voice cracking a little as he stopped himself from crying.

He didn't like thinking of that, he knew Dan didn't love him for his money, they had just talked about it. Pj was just being mean and that was what upset him.

"I'm sorry," Pj said softly looking at Phil, he didn't want to make him cry. "Just be careful,"

He wanted to add 'you can do better' but didn’t want to upset Phil anymore right now, especially with Dan so close by. Phil wiped his eyes.

"Don't say anything to him," Phil said.

He didn't want Dan to know Pj had pretty much said what he was expecting him to say. He smiled at Pj, "Let's watch a couple episodes of American Horror Story okay?"

Pj nodded and Phil got up to set it up.

Dan was standing just inside the doorway to the kitchen. He had heard everything Pj said. He took a deep breath and wiped his eyes, not being able to  help the tears that slipped out. They were from frustration and sadness, no one would ever accept him properly. He suddenly felt like an outsider in his own home, with the two 'normal' people in the lounge. He walked in and didn't meet anyone’s eyes, his own were a little red and puffy and didn't want them to see.

"I'm keen for American Horror Story," He said but his voice sounded a little bitter, he hoped they got the message.

If he heard that then he heard the rest. He sat on the very far end, isolating himself a little as his self worth felt like it had all fallen through the floor. Phil looked over at Dan, feeling like everything he had worked toward with Dan was being broken.

"Actually Pj you should probably go," Phil said softly, he wanted to be able to hold Dan without anyone to judge them.

Pj nodded.

"Yeah, see ya later," he said and then left.

They both knew Dan knew, and there was an uncomfortable thickness in the air. Phil moved over  to the couch and rested his face on the seat looking up at Dan.

"You're safe now, it's just you and me," Phil said reaching his hand out to play with the hem of Dan's shirt.

Dan rolled his eyes.

"It doesn't matter, as soon as we go outside the world sees me as a cheap whore who is worthless, who is obviously incapable of feelings and therefore must be after your wallet," He said sounding sad and far away. "Even your friends think that, wanna know why? Cause I am worthless. I told you that to begin with but you wouldn't listen," Dan's breathing was a little heavy. "Do you know what its like for a stranger to come into your home, your safe place, and invade it by talking like that about you?"

Phil's eyes watered, he didn't like what Pj had done, Pj was never like that usually. Even though he was defensive, it wasn’t like him to insult someone so horribly. That's what bothered him most.

"You aren't worthless, you are important to me," Phil said softly. "You know I don't think any of that about you, we just talked about it remember?"

Dan turned to Phil suddenly and met his eyes.

"I'm not after your money Phil I promise please don't think that or let him convince you, I love you I don't care about your money," A tear slid down his cheek. He felt insulted and sad and just wanted to cuddle with Phil and ignore the world forever.

Phil crawled up onto the couch and wrapped his arms around Dan.

"Dan, Dan I know. I know you aren't, I love you so much," Phil kissed the side of Dan's face. "If you were after my money you weren’t doing a very good job at getting it," Phil said laughing; he never paid that much compared to other customers. "I love you."

Phil pulled back and kissed Dan's cheek. He wished Pj understood what it was between them. There wasn't any ulterior motive, this was all it was, just them and their love, if he wasn't blinded by fear of Phil's past maybe Pj would have understood a bit better.

Dan cuddled into him.

"I wanted him to like me," he said quietly as he made his body get as close to Phil as humanly possible. "I want to explain it to him. Maybe then he won’t hate me"

Phil kissed Dan some more.

"He doesn't hate you, he's afraid of you. Of what you can do to me," Phil said softly. "But he's not remembering the person he's actually afraid of was someone in a normal school doing normal things. But I agree, if you explain to him everything and when he has some time to think it through I think he will take it better...how did he find out?"

"Wait, what do you mean who is he afraid of?" Dan said a little muffled as his mouth was currently pressed against Phil's shirt. "And I dunno how, um he was in the bathroom maybe he snooped through the draws and saw stuff? Or… did I leave my outfit out?"

Phil gave a soft sigh, he didn't want to have to tell Dan about his ex, but it had gotten to the point where he had to.

"Oh okay. About that… My ex was a bit....psychotic," Phil pulled away from Dan slightly to sit next to him instead, keeping his arm around Dan. "I was pretty messed up for a while, Pj helped me through that and doesn't want to see it again, but that guy was just normal he went to a normal school had a normal job, and he was the one who hurt me. You don't though, regardless of what your job is, or where you came from, you don't hurt me like he did."

Dan didn't like that Phil moved away a little so moved right next to him again.

"Hey don't move away," he said softly. "What did he do...?" he asked carefully meeting Phil's eyes. "He shouldn't just assume I want to hurt you, no one should hurt you, you're perfect."

Phil laughed a little and kissed Dan's forehead.

"You're wonderful," he said kissing Dan once more before responding. "My ex just, he threatened me a lot, with his own life, he was jealous all the time, and if i did something he didn't like he would hurt himself and show me it," Phil's voice shook a little it was a scary memory for him. "And said if I ever left him he would kill himself, I was so scared I didn't leave my apartment except for my radio show, and then I would go straight home, I was afraid if I put one foot out of line I would be responsible for him taking his life, it would be my fault." Phil's voice cracked when he said the last 2 words. "Pj helped me get the courage to end it, and helped me get back into the world and seeing friends again."

Dan pouted a little and pulled Phil closer, his arms going around him.

"That's awful, people shouldn't guilt others into anything that's not healthy," he said softly. "So Pj is just being protective, scared that I will do something mean as well?" Phil nodded and Dan huffed. "Well I won't."

"I know you won’t, we just gotta get him to see that," Phil said smiling. He knew Dan would never do anything like that; if he was going to he would have started a while ago, he trusted Dan more than anything.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that," Dan said sighing. "I'm assuming he didn't actually end up doing it though?" he said and kissed Phil's cheek. "I'm glad you got out of that, cause that's abuse."

"Yeah I don't think so but I haven't talked to him since I cut it off, I couldn't deal with it," Phil said smiling that Dan kissed him. "Yep I know it was, he never physically hurt me, but the emotional damage was intense. But you know what? That's all gone now, I have you. You treat me wonderfully, we have more in common, and you love me back," Phil kissed Dan softly. "You're a lot cuter than him too if you wanted to know." Phil said and nuzzled Dan's cheek.

Dan giggled.

"That's always good to know," he said pulling Phil closer. "Maybe we can meet Pj later in the week and I can try explain stuff..." He said while thinking. "For now though I think we both just need to sit here like this for ages."

"Mhm, yeah I wasn't planning on moving," Phil said as he pulled Dan's legs over his lap and nuzzled his face. "I have the radio show off this week, so it's really just you and me for the rest of the week," Phil said kissing Dan's face. "I think we should cuddle," Phil brought his mouth down to Dan's neck. "Preferably naked."

Dan nodded and leaned into Phil's kisses.

"I agree," he said smiling softly. "That's good cause I don't wanna be by myself right now, I will over think," he added and let his hands run over Phil's chest and shoulders, wanting both of them to relax and forget about all the shitty stuff that just happened.

"I know you will," Phil whispered as he kissed Dan and started running his hands up Dan's chest, pushing his shirt up.

He knew Dan's habit of over thinking everything and thinking Phil was going to leave. But he wasn't, not ever.

"Is here okay for cuddling?" Phil asked getting Dan's shirt halfway up.

"Everywhere is good for cuddling," Dan said quietly shivering a little at Phil's fingers which brushed over his skin. He let Phil pull his shirt off then he pulled Phil's off, unashamedly drinking in the sight of his body.

The mood was interesting, it wasn't really that sexual, yet Dan couldn't take his eyes off Phil. Or stop thinking about the fact that Phil was his. Phil lied Dan down onto the couch and looked over his body still covered in marks. He ran his hand up Dan's chest running his thumb gently over the discolored skin.

"I'm never gonna leave, no matter what anyone says about us," he said leaning down and kissing Dan's stomach and hips.

None of this was sexual just loving, he wasn't kissing Dan to make him turned on, or undressing him so they could have sex. He just didn't want anything stopping their skin from touching when he held him close.

Dan smiled.

"I don't want you to leave, I wanna be with you always," Dan said softly as he watched Phil place soft kisses on his body. His hand ran along Phil's arm and then he entwined their fingers. "I love you so much"

"I love you too," Phil whispered undoing Dan's jeans and tugging them off before removing his own and crawling over Dan.

He clung to him, burying his face into the younger boys neck.

"You're the most important person in my life," Phil said softly

"So are you," Dan said smiling and getting as physically close to Phil as possible, making their skin touch in as many places as they can. "I'm really happy you are here, cause you make me really happy," He sighed and kissed Phil's chin.

"You make me happy too," Phil whispered taking Dan's hand again and relaxing into him, he didn't want anyone to destroy his calm they had. "Don't listen to what anyone else says about us okay, I'm happy with you."

Dan nodded.

"Okay,... they have a point though, I'm a whore. You can do better," he sighed and cuddled closer. "I'm sorry".

"Maybe, but no one would be like you, I don't want someone else, everyone's idea of 'better' is just someone who's not a hooker, you are my better," Phil hid his face into Dan's neck. "I'm not saying I like what you do, cause I don't, now that we are together. But, right now I chose dealing with all that mess, rather than not being with you at all"

Dan got what Phil was saying and leaned in and pressed his lips to Phil's.

"I love you," he didn't have anything else to say, he couldn't really add to it, he loved Phil. "Thank you for accepting me,"

He muttered quietly against his lips before cuddling in closer and sighing, just happy to be sharing the same space with someone as special as Phil. No one could get them here.

"I love you too," Phil whispered closing his eyes and resting against Dan. "I always will,"

It was getting harder to hide his distaste for Dan's job. He loved Dan, everything about him, but letting the person he loves so much go to the mercy of whoever buys him every weekend. It was getting  harder. And now he had the disapproval of his friends too, he hoped that disapproval would change. But until then Phil was going against what everyone was telling him. Even Dan was telling him he should leave. He was starting to forget why he was even staying. Phil pulled his hand away from Dan and ran it up his chest to his neck, he could feel Dan's pulse under his fingers then continued moving his hand up and touching Dan's face, sliding his thumb over Dan's cheek bone. Dan felt so warm under his hand. Phil smiled to himself, Dan was warm and kind, and loving and needed him. Phil needed him too. that was why he stayed.

Dan sighed contentedly, liking the feel of Phil's little touches. He was so lucky to have Phil. Every single logical piece of reason screamed that Phil should leave him, and every time something bad happened Phil just held him close and helped him heal. He never really got mad, he just cared. He hated it when he made Phil sad, Phil tried to hide it but Dan knew that Phil hated what he did, more because of the risks and the fact that Dan himself hated it more than anything else. He wanted to make Phil as happy as Phil made him, but he didn't know how to. But as long as Phil was around, he would forever be trying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Editor pulled through, this isn't one of my favorite conflicts, it's not a major one it's just tense and uncomfortable.   
> Hope you guys like it though.  
> -Mongoose


	35. Lovers Prosecution

A week had passed with no word from Pj, but things were still going pretty well between Dan and Phil. It was a beautiful Monday morning with the sun forcing its way through the blinds.

Phil slowly woke up, pressing against the warm body that was Dan. He felt a bit uncomfortable, and it didn't take long for him to see why: he was hard, and painfully so. He had just woken up from an amazing dream where he was with the younger boy, the best part being when he woke up and reaffirmed that he had Dan in reality. Phil placed a few kisses along Dan's shoulder, testing to see if the younger boy was awake.

Dan could feel the little kisses interrupting his dreams. He smiled, knowing it was Phil. He attempted to say good morning, but it came out as an unintelligible mumble instead. Phil smiled at how cute Dan was when he was sleepy.

"Good morning, baby," Phil said, running his hand down Dan's hip, sliding it under his boxers, and caressing his inner thigh.

Dan mumbled again, this time letting out something that slightly resembled a "Morning." He sighed contentedly at Phil's hand on his thighs. It felt nice, but he didn't really know why Phil was touching him. Phil never usually said good morning like that. Dan was too comfortable to really think though, so he didn't. Phil continued placing kisses along Dan's shoulder, moving up to his neck. His hand traveled to Dan's ass, smoothly caressing the skin there for a moment before running his finger along the younger boys entrance to see how he responded. Phil wanted sex, but was only going to take it if Dan wanted it too.

Dan made a soft noise, followed by a slight questioning.

"Hm?"

He was enjoying the touches, though, and he didn't object to them. He leaned back a little against Phil and felt that Phil was hard.

"Phil?" he mumbled sleepily.

Phil bit softly at the skin on Dan's neck before kissing it again. He moved his hand a bit so he could roll his hips against Dan to show him what he wanted. Phil brought his fingers to his own lips and sucked on them briefly before bringing them back down between Dan’s legs, teasing his entrance again before pushing one finger inside.

This was new. Dan bit his lip a little when Phil rolled his hips and a small moan passed his lips when Phil's finger entered him. His eyes were still closed, and between the warmth of the bed and the cuddling position with Phil, he was really liking this idea.

Phil wanted to hurry this part along, but he kept his actions fairly slow paced, inserting another finger when he felt Dan was ready. It was comfortable how close they were. Phil let out a soft sound and bit gently at Dan's ear as he moved Dan's legs apart with his knee.

Dan was getting turned on now.

"Mmhh Phil," he moaned as he pushed back against Phil's fingers a little, his mouth opening slightly.

Phil moved his fingers more, stretching the younger boy as he continued lazily kissing Dan's neck. He couldn't wait any longer; he wanted to be inside him so badly.

"Dan," Phil moaned the younger's name as he thrusted his fingers inside him a little more.

When he pulled them out, he tugged Dan's underwear down the rest of the way along with his own. He ran his cock along Dan's entrance for a moment and then quickly rolled onto his back to reach his arm over and grab the small bottle of lubricant off the side table. Phil flicked the bottle open and shoved the covers down so he could see. He poured some along his length before closing the bottle and tossing it next to him. His arm that was under Dan wrapped around him a bit more firmly as Phil pressed the tip of his cock against Dan's entrance. Phil moved his hand to hold Dan's leg up a little bit more as he slowly pushed inside.

Dan moaned as he felt Phil push into him.

"Fuck," he muttered under his breath as he just slightly changed the angle of his hips and pelvis to make Phil’s thrusts easier.

Dan liked that Phil woke up horny and proceeded to initiate this to fix his problem. He found it hot and was happy to oblige. Phil let out a contented moan, pleased to finally be inside Dan. He wrapped his arm around Dan now as he slowly rolled his hips to begin thrusting in and out of the younger boy. He liked how willing Dan was with him; any time Phil needed something sexually, Dan was always happy to give it to him. His arms tightened around Dan, one around his waist and the other around his shoulders.

Dan moaned and pressed his back against Phil’s chest, his head leaning back against Phil's shoulder as he let the older boy thrust in and out of him.

"Mmmh, yeah," he moaned lightly, opening his eyes a little before closing them again and getting lost in the sensation.

Phil closed his eyes and let out a soft moan, hiding his face in the back of Dan's neck and kissing him lightly. He rolled his hips slowly, appreciating how warm Dan was around him and how warm he was in his arms. He let out a slightly louder moan as he pressed his face up into Dan's hair.

"Oh fuck," Phil said in a low voice before moving his hips slightly faster.

"Mmmmhh Phil," Dan moaned breathily, bending his top leg up, his hand migrating to his ass and spreading himself more as his head lolled lazily back towards Phil.

"God, it's hot, you waking me up like that," he said quietly.

Phil made a soft moan, placing a few kisses to Dan's shoulder.

"I wanted you so badly," Phil said, gasping again as Dan tightened around him. "I didn't want to wait till later." His movements were fairly slow with no exact rhythm, but the feeling was still perfect.

"You can have me whenever you want," Dan breathed out.

The pace was slow and kind of lazy as they weren't trying to impress each other; they were just focusing on the feel of each other.

"Fuck," Dan moaned, pushing back against Phil's cock. Phil's hand traveled down, massaging the area around Dan's cock before taking it in his hand and stroking slowly, in time with his thrusts.

"Mmm. God, you feel so good," Phil moaned, moving a little faster as the pleasure built up.

Dan’s breathing hitched as Phil's hand started to stroke him and he allowed himself to get lost in the feelings that were overwhelmingly perfect.

"Oh, fuck," Phil moaned, biting a little at Dan's shoulder.

Phil kissed the mark and focused more on his thrusts to try and time them with his hand. The pleasure was so pinpointed, and his moans got consequentially more frequent. The reality of having sex with Dan was so much better then the dream he’d had before he had woken up.

"D-Dan, I'm close," Phil moaned, his hand still working at Dan's cock.

Dan smiled.

"Mmh, that's good, don't hold anything back. This is what you woke me for, right?" he moaned a little before continuing. "Come inside me. Let my body help you finish off what was happening in that pretty little head while you were sleeping."

Dan assumed Phil had had a sex dream that prompted his early-morning horniness. Dan was starting to get closer--not as close as Phil--but the idea of Phil releasing inside of him after having used his body as a tool to get off was unbelievably hot, especially since he knew Phil would never just leave him alone and horny afterwards to finish himself off.

Phil moaned loudly.

"Oh fuck, you're so much better than my dreams," he said in a groan, his hips thrusting more quickly, filling Dan with his cock each time. "Mm fuck....fuck," Phil moaned, his voice breathy and needy. He let out one last gasp as he came spilling inside Dan. Phil didn't pull out yet. Although his orgasm was leaving him exhausted and breathless, he didn't stop stroking Dan.

Dan moaned as he felt Phil release then closed his eyes, focusing on the feeling of Phil's hand on his cock.

"Feel better, baby?" Dan asked breathily.

Phil couldn't respond at first, so he just kept moving his hand up and down, trying to work his thumb across the head of Dan's cock as he stroked.

"Mhm," Phil finally responded as he shifted himself slightly, giving Dan some friction with Phil still inside him.

Dan moaned and leaned his body back against Phil’s; he was close now.

"Mmh fuck, Phil... I'm-mmm, soon..." He bit at his lip and rocked into Phil's hand a little.

Phil kissed at Dan's shoulder close to his neck, continuing the pumping motion of his hand.

"Dan," Phil purred. "Come for me. You made me feel so good... I want you to come for me.” Phil moved his hips again, this time pulling himself out, a little of his come dripping out of Dan's body. Dan moaned loudly and thrust his hips into Phil's hand a few more times before spilling over Phil's hand, his breath ragged and his mouth hanging open. Phil moved his hand more slowly now, helping Dan finish his orgasm. He kissed Dan's shoulder and relaxed back into the bed. His hand had come on it, but he didn't mind. Phil tugged Dan's underwear back up for him and then tugged his own up his frame.

"Face me," Phil said softly. He liked spooning, but he wanted to see Dan's face.

Dan smiled and turned over, looking at Phil's face, hands going to the boy’s hips.

"How are we feeling now, Phillip?" he asked, struggling to hold back a giggle.

Phil laughed softly, mainly at the fact that Dan never called him Phillip and it sounded funny to hear.

"Much better, thank you," Phil said softly, leaning forward and giving Dan a kiss. "Mm, yes, that was just what I needed." He gave Dan another kiss. "You?"

"Glad to be of service," Dan replied. He kissed Phil and grabbed his hand, entwining their fingers and hoping Phil would get the ironic usage of the phrase.

Phil smiled as he kissed Dan over and over again. Normally hearing that from Dan would have bothered him, but it didn't now; he knew it wasn't Dan’s occupation speaking but rather Dan talking--as his boyfriend. A perfect boyfriend, that is.

"I love you, Dan."

"I love you, too," Dan said and yawned, leaning against Phil's shoulder. "Sleep time again."

"Mhm," Phil agreed softly as he moved a bit to get more comfortable against Dan, quickly falling back into sleep.

 

Dan woke up first this time, kissing Phil's cheek a few times.

"Baby, wake up," he said softly. "Let me see your eyes," he said, kissing Phil’s forehead.

Phil whined slightly, shaking his head and smiling.

"Noooo," he said playfully before peeking one eye open and then the other.

Quickly, he wrapped his arm around Dan and pulled him over so Dan was on top of him. Phil leaned up to give him a kiss.

"Everything’s blurry still," Phil said as he looked up at Dan.

"That's good, so you get to avoid my face," Dan said smiling, "but I get to see yours, and it's perfect."

Phil smiled back. He could still see Dan some and his smile was contagious.

"I never want to avoid your face," Phil said, pushing Dan's hair aside. "Even when you're blurry, you're still beautiful."

"No," Dan giggled and leaned down to kiss Phil.

Phil captured Dan's lips and gave him a loving kiss.

"Yes," he whispered and then reattached their lips.

Phil knew he’d found the two best ways to wake up: sex with Dan and kissing Dan, and he’d gotten both in one morning. Phil smiled and the two boys allowed themselves to be caught in their self-constructed calm, the morning serenity of waking up just the two of them, isolated from any evils of the world outside their apartment.

 

A couple days passed and they decided they couldn't avoid it any longer: they had to clear things up with Pj. Phil had gotten the occasional text from him, and Pj couldn't deny that Phil was someone he cared about a lot, but now Pj needed to come back here.

The phone conversation wasn't that harsh. Pj was trying, at least, and now he was on his way over to hear from Dan. Still, Phil was terrified. He knew what Pj thought now and didn't want him to say anything to hurt Dan. Phil sat on the couch, his arm around Dan as they waited together.

"You okay?" Phil asked, although he himself was probably just as nervous.

Dan nodded.

"It's fine. He’s just going to say stuff about me that I already know so..." he trailed off. "I just don't want you to get put off, to hear him then decide he’s right and leave. Even if he is right, I'm selfish and I don't want you to go."

"Nothing he says is going to make me leave you," Phil said, leaning closer to Dan. He didn't like that Dan was already being critical of himself. "If anything, I'd lose him as a friend before I left you," Phil said quietly.

He didn't want to lose Pj, and he hoped he wouldn't. But Pj could live without Phil, and Phil could wake up and be fine every morning without Pj. Phil, on the other hand, didn't think he would be able to wake up without Dan next to him. He had gotten too attached; just the thought of leaving Dan made him anxious. There was a knock at the door and Phil jerked his head to face the sound.

"I'll get it," Dan said quietly.

He didn't want to do this. At all. He liked his little world with Phil, where everything was good. He didn’t like what he was about to face: the real world slipping into it, making him remember all the bad stuff. He opened the door and smiled politely at the man who had the potential to take away his entire life.

"Hi," he said quietly.

Pj was taken aback at first, not expecting Dan to be the one to answer the door. Pj was polite too, smiling a little as he didn't want to distrust this boy. Dan looked so innocent and nice; he was friendly, and for the most part he seemed to make Phil really happy, but Pj was sure that there was an ulterior motive.The pretty face had to just be a trap to steal from wealthy men. Pj waited until he was invited inside, still not taking off his shoes and jacket. He followed the younger boy to the lounge where Phil was sitting. Phil quickly took Dan's hand when he sat next to him and an uncomfortable silence filled the room for a moment as they waited to see who would talk first. Pj broke the silence.

"Well, what did you have to say? What's this big explanation I'm supposed to hear?"

Dan just shook his head a little.

"You can't just expect me to launch into my whole life story like that. It's not easy... if you ask me things, I’ll tell you what you want to know," he said, looking down as he spoke.

This was going to be hard; he had only ever told Phil about his past because he loved and trusted him. Pj, on the other hand, was a stranger, and one he didn't really like under the given circumstances. So opening up wasn't going to be easy. Phil gently moved his thumb across Dan's hand, terrified of what Pj was going to say but hoping that once Pj heard Dan, he would understand that Dan wasn't trying to hurt--or rob--him. Pj looked over at Dan.

"Alright, what do you want from Phil if it’s not his money?" Pj asked, jumping straight to the point. He knew would find out more from Phil in a moment, but first he wanted to hear it from Dan.

Dan's face fell into almost a pout.

"I want him. I love him. Pj, he made me think I was worth something more than what creepy men paid for my body, okay? You have no idea how much he has affected my life.” He glanced at Phil. "You have," he muttered to Phil.

Dan and Phil had been over this with each other, so the younger boy didn't elaborate any further. There were thousands of ways he could have, but they were all too personal for Pj's ears. Phil met Dan's eyes and smiled. He knew what they meant to each other. Pj gave a soft nod, listening to what Dan was saying. He could get that, he thought, since he too knew how wonderful a person Phil was.

"So then why are you a stripper?” he demanded. “You have Phil, so why are you still sleeping with other men? Doesn't that bother you?” Pj asked, holding eye contact with Phil as he asked the last question.

"Of course it does," Phil said quickly as he held tightly onto Dan's hand. "But we’re trying, okay?"

"Because it's w-what I am, it's what I know," Dan said, sounding a little panicked but trying to keep calm. "I, I don't know how not to be." He looked away. "It's what I'm good at, the only thing I’m good at; I was forced to learn super quickly when I was sixteen and that’s what I've done since. I don't know how to change it." His breath was speeding up a little and he closed his eyes, focusing on calming down again. "Sorry," he muttered.

Phil looked at Pj a bit angrily. He didn't like the tone he was using with Dan. Pj, however, didn't take notice; he was focused on Dan, watching his body language as he went into a panic.

"Sixteen?" he said a bit more softly. Pj was thinking of what he was doing at that age, which was certainly not working in a strip club. So how did someone get into a place like that? "How old are you now?" he asked.

"Nineteen," Dan said quietly,"but it kind of consumes you; it becomes all you know.” He was still looking away. One of his arms was wrapped around his own waist and his shoulders were up, defensive. He didn't like that he had to justify himself.

"Look, I know Phil deserves better than me. Do you know how many times I've told him that? He keeps fighting it, telling me I'm wrong, that I’m perfect and that he loves me and I've never had that before." He was speaking softly now and glancing at Phil every so often.

"He's had worse," Pj said, still not looking away from Dan. He couldn't help but think Phil was kind of cute yet a complete idiot at the same time. This was the exact kind of thing Phil would do: get himself in too deep, help a hooker feel loved. "Geez, you're young. But, like, I don't get why you’re even there. Yeah, Phil deserves better than a prostitute, but why aren’t you doing better for yourself? You were sixteen... you get a job at a McDonald's. You don't start selling sex to people," Pj remarked.

Phil looked at Dan and noticed how he was holding his arm around himself as if it were the only thing holding him together. Dan instantly curled into Phil just slightly.

"Um... um--I just, I had to leave, and so for all intents and purposes, I was homeless. I walked past the bar and the boss was outside. He told me I was pretty and that I could make some money. I had no pride left anyway, so I said fine and asked how. When he found out I was a virgin, he was ecstatic. Before I knew it, that was my life." Dan blinked a few times and refused to look at either of the boys, feeling himself close off. "I had nothing to live for, so I took what I was offered and that was it."

Phil put his arm around Dan's waist, letting Dan lean into him. Pj was shocked, but he didn't know what else he was expecting. If you ask a prostitute how he got there, you're not going to get a happy story. Pj swallowed and watched Dan as he sought comfort from Phil, how Phil put his arm around him. Dan was like an exposed nerve. He clearly never talked about this, and Pj suddenly felt like he was violating the younger boy.

"Look, I don't... I don't want to take Phil away from you. You say you love him, and--well--so do I. I don't want anyone to hurt him, so just don't, okay? Do whatever you can to never hurt him because he deserves better than that."

"Why would I hurt him?” Dan asked, dumbfounded at the idea of intentionally hurting Phil. “He’s the only person I've ever told about myself, the only person who knows my real name, let alone the only person to have bothered to even try and find it out, aside from now you. Why would I hurt the one good thing I have?" Dan said, sounding a little hurt since he hated being viewed like this, as just an object capable of hurting Phil. "I know I'm shit. I know that. I know I should disappear so that Phil finds someone normal. But when I'm with him I feel human, okay? And I'm being selfish, but I don't wanna give that up."

Dan looked so sincere when he said that Phil was his good thing. In all these crappy things Dan had surrounding him, Phil was his ‘good thing’ and Dan had no intentions of harming him.

"You hurt him every time you go to work, don't you?" Pj asked.

Phil shot him a mean look.

"I know what his job is, Pj. You don't have to keep worrying about how I feel about it. If I were that bothered by it, I would leave," Phil said, staring back at Pj.

"No, you wouldn't,” he retorted. “You didn't last time."

"This is different than last time. Dan is wonderful and kind and he would never threaten me in any way. He actually makes me happy, happier than I've been in a while, Pj, and I don't want to be without him." Phil held more tightly onto Dan, wanting to protect him from the outside world threatening their happiness.

"You don't have to be," Pj said, speaking softly to Phil.

Dan looked between both of them as they spoke to each other.

"After you left last time, Phil told me about his ex. I would never do anything like that, emotionally blackmail or abuse him. I know what it's like to be abused, and just--no. I wouldn't. I know my job hurts him; it hurts me, too. We’re working through it." He leaned into Phil more. "We are working through it, aren't we? Please don't leave," he whispered the last part against Phil, desperate for him to stay.

Phil turned more toward Dan and put his hand up through the younger boys hair.

"I'm not going anywhere, Dan," Phil kissed Dan's forehead and looked back over at Pj. Yeah, he didn't like when Dan left for work, but that wasn't Pj's place to say and call them out on it. Pj watched their interaction for a moment. It didn't bother him as much as it did the last time, when he thought Dan was a villain out to hurt Phil.

"Ya know the first time we met, when you had those bruises on your face....what really happened? ‘Cause I feel like it wasn't some homophobe getting you into a fight," Pj asked.

Dan tensed up.

"N-no," he said, shaking his head a little frantically. He didn't want to talk about that. He didn't ever want to even think about it. "It, um, it was, um--I just... Phil?"

He looked at Phil, desperate for him to take over for him on this one because retelling it was reliving it and he couldn't do that again.

Pj was shocked with just Dan's reaction, the way he went into a panic at the thought of talking about it. Phil put another arm around Dan to comfort him for a little, and when the shudders stopped Phil leaned back and met Dan's eyes.

"You're safe," he said, smiling at Dan to help him relax. Phil looked over at Pj. "We don't talk about it. He got hurt by someone while he was working, and that’s all you need to know," Phil said, turning back to Dan.

Pj nodded. He didn't need to know more, and he didn't expect it to cause such a reaction in the younger boy. But he couldn't help but think it was cute how Phil could--and would--calm him down and say small words to Dan in that voice that made everyone feel like things were just fine.

"Nah, it’s fine, you're okay, Dan. No one’s gonna hurt you," Pj said as though he were talking to a small animal who had just been kicked, one that you needed to be gentle with if you wanted to get it to come back out.

Dan was a victim, not a malicious creature bent on ruining Phil's life. He just needed to get his own life in order, but if anyone could help him with that it would be Phil. They needed each other. Dan nodded at Phil and then at Pj.

"I'm sorry if you hate me. I hate me, too, you know. I just, I'm trying not to... and it's kinda hard to stop hating yourself when everyone else does," he said, looking at Pj in the eyes this time. "Most people hate me, or they like me for the wrong reasons. I'm the quick fuck behind the wife's back or the person to get your non-vanilla kinks out on." Dan shuddered a little. "But I’m trying to be more than that: to be a person. Phil's helping me... I don't want his money. That's the one thing I have plenty of. This job, it's awful, but it pays well."

Pj pouted.

"I don't hate you, I was just afraid of you, afraid of what you could do to him. But ya know if you didn't hate yourself so much, you would be able to get out of that job," Pj said and paused, looking directly at Dan. “Don't you want to be out? Surely you don't want to stay there forever."

Dan swallowed harshly.

"I don't want to do it. I hate it most of the time. But there are times I don't; there are times when I dance and they look at me like I am a god. I feel worth something. Some nights go really well, and I feel confident and on top of the world. Because I was so low when I started, anything that makes me feel up kinda feels like home. And I don't know what I am without this. It's part of me, and I'm too stupid to do anything else now anyway." He wiped his eyes, his breath now unsteady. "Anyway, I kinda want to stop this now. I've only ever told Phil this stuff, and now I’ve told you too. I know you mean well, but I feel overexposed.. and I just want to stop now," he rushed his sentence out. "Is that okay?"

He looked from Phil to Pj and back again, searching desperately for permission in their eyes. It was hard for Dan to realize that he didn't need permission: that he was equal to both Phil and Pj, that they weren't his superiors.

Phil responded first.

"It's fine. You don't need to ask us, love," he said gently, looking at Dan.

He had thought about that plenty, about how long was Dan planning on staying at his job, but now wasn't the time to talk about it.

"Hey, I'm sorry, okay? I just got afraid when I first found out. It's not exactly something you like to find out about, but I'm glad we had this talk, Dan, and I'm glad you shared your real name with me."

Dan nodded at Pj.

"I just don't want to break any of Phil's friendships," Dan said softly. "You matter to Phil, so you needed to know about me." Pj met his eyes. "But please don't share any of this with anyone else. This is my life we're talking about, not a story."

Pj nodded back.

"I wouldn't tell anyone; it's not mine to tell." Phil smiled at Pj, grateful for his understanding. "I really can't say I'm happy for you guys, exactly. I don't agree with what you do, and I know I'd never be able to be with someone who does that. But if you make Phil happy and you do genuinely care for him, then I'm okay with you, not that it was ever my say anyway whether you two were allowed to be together or not. But I guess I’m sorta giving you guys my blessing here."

Dan nodded and let out a shaky breath that portrayed just how scared he was that this could result in Phil leaving.

"Good," he said. "You don't have to like what I do, but you should respect Phil's decision to choose who he dates. Just ‘cause he ended up with a partner who wasn't good to him before doesn't mean he’s incapable of picking people who care about him."

"Exactly, but do you understand my point of view, too? I didn't know you--I still don't that well yet--but what I found out made me fear that my close friend was in trouble even though he's not," Pj said slowly, trying to get his point across too. "I shouldn't have judged your situation so quickly, but I got scared, alright?"

Dan nodded a little sadly.

"It's okay, I'm used to it," he said simply.

He turned to cuddle into Phil, done with this conversation. He was sure he and Pj could get past this and hang out another time. But right now he felt emotionally drained and averse to human interaction.

Pj frowned, feeling guilty now about how he made Dan react, but how else was Dan supposed to, anyway? At least they understood each other. Phil ran a hand through Dan's hair.

"I'm gonna say bye to Pj, okay?" Phil murmured close to Dan before he stood up to see Pj out the door.

Dan nodded and pulled a blanket from the back of the couch around himself. He needed cuddle time now and was waiting for Phil to come back.

"Thanks for listening," Phil said to Pj as they walked toward the door.

"Yeah, it's fine. I was just shocked when I first heard it, ya know?" Pj responded. Phil nodded.

"He really is a nice person," Phil said softly.

Pj smiled.

"I believe that. He doesn't belong in a place like that. He can't be a stripper forever."

Phil nodded.

"We're still working that out."

Pj pulled Phil close and hugged him. "Take care of yourself, okay?"

"I'm fine, Pj. I'm not a little kid."

Pj laughed.

"I know. Take care of him too," Pj said and then left.  

Phil returned to the lounge and saw Dan cuddled on the couch with the blanket. He smiled and stepped over to him, pawing at the blanket.

"Let me in," Phil said, smiling at Dan.

Dan lifted the blanket without speaking and made grabby hands at Phil.

"I need you closer now," he mumbled. "That was hard."

Phil cuddled under the blanket, wrapping his arms around Dan.

"Yeah, you did well," Phil nuzzled Dan's cheek. "Thank you for doing that. You shouldn't have to explain yourself to my friends. They should just accept that you’re the person I love, regardless of your job."

Dan nodded against Phil, running his hands over his shirt.

"I just hate feeling like I'm on trial," he mumbled.

Phil frowned. He didn't like that he made Dan feel that way.

"You know, no matter what Pj said, he wasn't going to change anything. There was never going to be a verdict that decided that we couldn't be together; there wasn't a jury here to decide if you’re worthy of me." Phil put his arm around Dan's waist and pulled him tighter. "It's just us, so we decide," Phil said, a bit of whine in his voice.

"Yeah, I know, but someone sitting there, judging you... it still feels like it, you know?" he said softly and hugged Phil closer. "I'm glad you were here… it made me feel safer."

Phil smiled gently at Dan.

"Yeah, I wasn't gonna go anywhere," he said with a sigh. He just wanted to return to their calm they had. They were alone now.

Phil pulled the blanket they had up and over their heads, accentuating their proximity.

"Let's stay under here ‘till the world ends," Phil said looking at Dan, whose face was only slightly illuminated by the light shining through the blanket. "It's safe here."

"Mhm, yes please," Dan said, closing his eyes and relaxing against Phil. "You get me and don't judge me," he sighed. "And I love that."

Phil closed his eyes.

"I love you, Dan," Phil said quietly, pressed against the younger boy. "Till forever ends."

"I'm feeling better, now it's just us. I like it when it’s just us," Dan said, throwing a smile at Phil. "I think... I think that we should go make food together ‘cause I like that, and I like doing that kind of stuff with you."

"I like just us too." Phil smiled and kissed Dan's cheek. "Are you hungry?" Phil rolled to his side more and pulled out his phone, seeing that it was dinner time. "Ah, well what do you want to eat? You do know this means we have to leave our cocoon..." Phil said laughing. He lifted a tiny corner, letting in some harsh light.

"I wish we could make food in our cocoon," Dan said, smiling and leaning up to kiss Phil. "But since we can't, I think stir fry?"

Phil laughed and kissed Dan again.

"I swear that’s all we eat. It’s good, though. Do we have chicken or beef?" Phil asked, crawling out from under the covers and not liking how cold it was compared to the close space next to Dan.

"Chicken. You cut it," Dan said, pulling a face. "I’ll cook noodles."

They headed to the kitchen, but Dan stayed close to Phil and kept kissing his cheek randomly in between preparing parts of their meal.

Phil smiled. He liked the little kisses; they were just innocent reminders that Dan loved him. Phil tossed the cut-up chicken into the pan with some oil and vegetables, letting it simmer. Phil's stomach growled conspicuously, suddenly interrupting the silence they’d built up together. He looked at Dan for a moment and laughed before stepping over to him and throwing his arms over the younger boy’s shoulders.

"I want attention now," Phil said, still keeping half his attention on the food. He wanted to feel Dan's hands on him again.

Dan wrapped his arms around Phil's waist and kissed up Phil's neck.

"You get my attention whenever you want it," he said against Phil's neck, then continued kissing his skin.

Phil relaxed into Dan's kisses, tilting his head back and sighing in content. "Thank you," he breathed out, closing his eyes for a moment before opening again to reach over and stir the meat and veggies.

He stepped back to the stove, pulling Dan's arm to keep it on his waist as he settled into a spot to cook the noodles and meat with Dan behind him.

"Keep your hands on me," Phil said, tilting his head to silently ask Dan to kiss his neck again.

Dan ran his hands up Phil's sides and under his shirt as he kissed his neck again.

"Happily," he purred out smiling a little as he felt Phil's hips and sides.

Phil smiled to himself as he cooked the food, making soft sighs every now and again when Dan's hands caressed him in just the right way.

"Love, can you get the plates?" Phil said, turning his head to face Dan.

Dan kissed his lips quickly, then turned and went to get plates and pour drinks. "Here babe," Dan said, laying them out so Phil could plate out the food and then repositioning into his cuddling position, arms back around Phil's waist.

"Thank you, you're wonderful," Phil said casually and turned off the heat to the stove before distributing the food onto the plates. "I'm gonna get pudgy if I keep eating like this. We should go grocery shopping and try to plan some meals that are better for us," Phil said, picking up the plates and bringing them over to the table. Dan followed close behind, keeping his hands on Phil's hips.

"This is healthy, see? Vegetables," Dan said giggling. He took a seat across from Phil and started to eat.

Phil laughed.

"Yeah, maybe I should just not cook it in butter," he said, eating happily. "Also, I was thinking we should get another wardrobe for the bedroom, or a bigger one, to fit our clothing better."

"Yeah, we should. That's a good idea." Dan ate some of his food in comfortable silence. After a while, he said, "I like that idea… having things we buy, cute things, that are ours."

Phil stared at Dan, smiling widely.

"Yeah, I get really excited thinking about stuff like that, like going to the store with you to buy things for our apartment, or buying groceries. It's fun," Phil said blushing.

"Me too," Dan said, a blush creeping onto his cheeks as well. "It's cheesy, but I really like it, it feels homely. Like... like we're a family or something," Dan said it quietly and glanced away. Phil was his family. That’s how he felt.

Phil blushed more and nodded.

"You are my family," Phil said without looking away from Dan.

He had no shame or doubt about how he felt; Phil's old family was long gone and not coming back. Dan had filled that closeness, that trust and comfort, that feeling like he had a place where he belonged. That was right here with Dan, eating stir fry and cuddling on the couch, having sex and going shopping for a new wardrobe; this was where he felt at home.

Dan looked up and met Phil's eyes.

"You're mine, too. I didn't want to scare you by saying it, take that place if you didn't want me to. I know you have gone through a lot when it comes to family, so you know..." he trailed off, smiling softly. "It's nice to feel like I have a family again."

Phil smiled back.

"Yeah, I feel the same." Phil kept the eye contact for a moment before he got embarrassed. The emotional intensity between them was too much. Phil's blush didn’t fade as he continued eating. "When do ya wanna go? I'm free all the time. I know when you work, I just don't know if you would be up for going out during the day beforehand."

"I don't mind, just not on the days between shifts," Dan said and finished eating. "I love you," he said softly, "really, a lot."

Phil nodded.

"I know," Phil said, standing up with his plate before leaning down and catching Dan's lips, giving him a sweet kiss. "I love you too," he said softly as they were so close. Then he pulled away to bring his dish to the sink.

Dan stayed sitting, and when Phil came back he made grabby hands and pulled him onto his lap.

"Hugs now. I feel so fat," he giggled and nuzzled against his chest.

"You are not fat, ya silly," Phil said, laughing and holding Dan close to him. "I'm the one who might crush you right now." Phil tilted Dan's face up toward him and kissed him playfully.

Dan kissed back.

"No, we just ate too much. You taste like stir fry and perfection," Dan giggled and wrapped his arms around Phil's waist.

"Mmm, you too." Phil smiled, his arms falling over Dan's shoulders. "We'd probably be more comfortable on the couch, baby," Phil said softly, molding his body to fit perfectly against Dan's.

"Probably," Dan said. "After you." He gestured towards the couch and kissed Phil's chest through his shirt as he waited for him to move.

Phil hopped up, grabbing Dan's hand and not bothering to wash their dishes right now. He pulled Dan into the lounge and pushed him back into the seats before crawling back onto his lap, getting almost into the same spot as they were in the kitchen.

"See, much more comfy," Phil purred.

Dan nodded and put his hands on the side of Phil's face, tilting it down a little and kissing him.

"Much," he muttered against his lips, happy to be in close proximity to Phil like this, dishes and half-finished drinks neglected.

Phil let out a soft moan as Dan kissed him. His hand traveled down the younger boys chest, caressing him.

"Dan," Phil whispered, moving his hips a bit closer into Dan's. "You're wonderful," he said in a breath before pressing their lips together again, not caring about the taste of stir fry they still shared but just wanting to feel Dan’s mouth on his.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, how's everyone doing?  
> I'm fairly stressed atm so could you please save any hate/derogatory messages for another week.
> 
> I've done a rough chapter count it looks like were gonna be finishing up around 50 total chapters =] that number could fluctuate some but thats what it looks like
> 
> I got a second heavy lifter editor and a fine comb editor btw, so hopefully errors shrink even more


	36. For the World to See

Dan was excited, grinning to himself at the confused look on Phil's face. He had a surprise for Phil and was refusing to tell him what they were going to do.

"You’ll find out soon, okay? Just be patient, baby," he said, grinning and glancing over at Phil next to him in the taxi. "Can I blindfold you? I don't trust you to keep your eyes closed when I ask you to; you’re too nosey." He leaned over and kissed Phil’s cheek.

Phil smirked at Dan and shook his head.

"If you must," Phil agreed. He was excited, too.

A surprise from Dan? It was hard to contain his excitement. The car couldn’t drive quickly enough. The smile on his face clearly showed his anticipation. Dan grinned and pulled a blindfold out of his pocket. In complete Dan-esque style, it was an actual blindfold-- and made of leather, too. He let Phil see it and smirked before reaching over, putting it over Phil's face and tying it securely, making sure he couldn't see.

"Do you just carry that stuff with you everywhere?" Phil teased, putting his hand on Dan's waist, but letting Dan tie the blindfold on him. He trusted Dan. He had no clue where they were or where they were going, but Phil trusted him.

"Wouldn't you like to know," he said, smile easily heard in his voice. "You would be shocked at what’s in my pocket at any given time..."

They arrived and Dan paid the driver. He helped Phil out of the car and led him to the back entrance of the club, turning a few times unnecessarily just in case Phil would recognize the pathway he was walking.

Phil giggled. Dan was so determined to make sure Phil was completely surprised. He followed Dan in complete darkness, relying on the younger boy to guide him.

Dan unlocked the door, having gotten the key off Claire a few nights before. He held Phil by his hips and walked him into the club, through the aisle, and out to the stage area. He made him sit front and center, where the audience would usually sit, but intended on moving him up to the stage later on. But to start with, he wanted Phil to see him like he normally did during his show, looking up at him. But this time, it was just for Phil.

"I'm still here, just need to sort some stuff out, okay?"

He moved around and set stuff up how he needed it. He changed quickly, dropping his clothes off the side of the stage and changing into his work attire, remote in hand so he could start the music. He set the lights and then moved off the stage in front of Phil.

"You ready?" he said a little anxiously, hoping Phil would like his surprise.

"Mhm, love, can I take the blindfold off now?" Phil asked, his hands up at his face and waiting for permission.

Dan was excited and Phil didn't want to ruin that excitement.  He couldn’t wait to see what Dan had planned for him; it was so cute how Dan had gone through so much trouble to do something for him. Phil smiled and shifted anxiously in his seat.

"Wait two seconds," Dan said and went back onto the stage, standing near the center. "Now you can," he said, unable to stop himself from grinning. This was going to be fun.

Phil pulled the blindfold up and off his head and took in the sight. He smiled widely at the sight of Dan all dressed up just for him. The club was completely empty right now; no one else got to see Dan but Phil. That alone made his heart leap as he watched the boy on stage.

"You look beautiful," Phil said, relaxing into the seat.

Dan grinned.

"Why, thank you." He relaxed his shoulders a little and made his face a bit more serious. "I thought I’d give you a private show. No one else has ever had that. Then, if you feel jealous when I’m working, you can remember this, everything that is going to happen here tonight, and remember that you're special. But for now, normal rules apply. No touching, just watching. Okay, baby?"

He was using his work voice a little because he wanted Phil to want him, to want him the way he did that first time he saw him dance.

Phil nodded and smiled, watching Dan talk to him from the stage. His own heart began to beat faster as he got more excited.

"As you wish," Phil said, staring back at Dan's eyes.

Dan winked and then started to get into his dancing mindset. He walked from one side of the stage and then back. Then he clicked the remote and dropped it. He started to move his hips to the music, starting it like he started every dance: with small movements, relaxing into the music, letting it get into his brain. He was excited, doing this just for Phil, and he planned to make it better than ever.

Phil kept his eyes fixated on Dan. He liked the emptiness of the room. It made this feel a lot more intimate than when the room was packed with people all greedily staring at Dan. This was for only him; no one else would ever get to see this moment.

Dan started to move more, dancing across the stage fluidly, hips rolling in time with the music as his hands ran over his own chest and hips. He smirked a little at Phil before starting to pull his own shirt off.

Phil was smiling widely watching Dan.

"Should I cheer for you?" Phil asked, keeping his eyes fixed on Dan.

"You don't usually," Dan said smirking, hoping Phil could hear him over the music.

He got his shirt off and ran his fingertips over his torso, fingers slipping under the suspender straps and then moving down towards his crotch. He teased over himself with his fingertips then dropped to his knees on the stage, eyes locked on Phil's. He kept up the teasing dance moves, eyes on Phil and mouth a little open for a while and he felt himself getting hard, more at anticipation of what was to come.

"Grab one of the chairs and come onto the stage."

Phil laughed a little and got up, grabbing a chair and pushing it onto the stage before hopping up. He got a bit self-conscious once he was up there and immediately felt impressed with Dan for being able to put himself on a stage every night in front of so many people.

Dan danced in front of Phil for a bit longer, more clothes dropping until he was standing in front of him just wearing the leather shorts. He turned and did a move resulting in his ass being displayed to Phil before turning again.

"I think you should let me teach you some stuff, baby," Dan purred out as he continued to dance.

Phil's eyes went wide for a moment.

"What? Dan, I don't know how to dance," Phil said, still very distracted by Dan's proximity and now the lack of clothing the boy had on.

"Neither did I before I learned," Dan said, dropping in front of Phil, hands running up his own thighs, his face moving closer to Phil.

Dan wasn't going to touch him; he wanted Phil desperate for him--and to get him to that point, Dan needed to tease far more than this.

"It could be fun," he purred out, then lightly palmed himself, smirking.

Phil's mouth fell open as he watched Dan, unable to help himself getting turned on by the younger boy. "Yeah, okay, fine. But I'm telling you, I'm horrible," Phil said, smiling at Dan.

"Yay," Dan said, slipping his thumbs under his waistband in full view of Phil.

Dan was looking up at Phil with want written all over his face.

“Take your hands and run them down your chest, like this.” Dan demonstrated, pushing his body up as his hands ran down his body. "The whole trick is to make it like sex. Imagine your hands are my hands, and react how you would if it were me."

"I'm gonna look stupid," Phil said, shifting a little, but he did as he was told, watching his own hands as he ran them down his chest.

He tried to imagine it was Dan, but he was too conscious of where he was and feeling his chest under his own hands didn't do anything for him.

"It takes practice. You need to get in tune with your own body. To start with, it’s acting, but then you get to know yourself better and it feels good," Dan said, repeating the action again himself. "Okay, stand up."

He stood and went back a few paces, giving Phil some room as well.

"Do what I do." He started to make figure eights with his hips, eyes still locked on Phil.

Phil stood up, following Dan and mimicking his motions, laughing a little. Although his motions weren't as fluid as Dan's, he liked the way it felt. It had a bit of a hypnotic feel to it even with Phil's rough movements.

"I want you closer," Phil said, motioning for Dan to come closer but still not touching him.

"Mhm, I know you do," Dan said and winked at him. "Not yet," he said. "Keep copying me."

He leaned down, sticking his ass out then moving back up slowly before running a hand down his chest, across his underwear, and then smirking.

"Your turn baby."

Phil blushed and did his best to copy the motion Dan did, his hands getting a little shy when they went lower than the belt.

"You're adorable, you know that?"  Dan said. "Take your clothes off," he purred out.

Eying Phil over and still moving his body to the music, Dan rolled his hips and sunk down so he was sitting on the ground between Phil's knees. He let his cheek move across Phil's inner thigh for a second before the contact was gone again.

Phil gasped at the contact that was gone too soon. It didn't take Phil long to register what Dan told him to do before he quickly pulled his shirt up and over his head and started working at his belt.

"I'm supposed to be doing this slower, aren't I?"

Dan giggled a little.

"I think you're too nervous still to strip properly. It's okay, I’ll loosen you up. I just need a little more skin to work with, baby." Dan hummed a little to the music, completely at ease. The stage was like his second home. "Need you to be more in tune with your body... Push up against my hands. Just go with it, okay?"

He sat up on his knees and ran the palms of his hands slowly down from Phil's shoulders, down the center of his body, and then to his waistband, taking Phil's belt from his hands and quickly undoing it.

Phil rolled his body against Dan's hands, his chest sensitive now that it was Dan touching him.

"I'll try," Phil said as he exhaled, letting his hips move a bit to the music. He ran his hands over Dan's, pushing his hips forward into them.

Dan pushed his hips back against Phil's a few times, then he pushed Phil back onto the chair and moved so he was straddling Phil. He proceeded to give him a lap dance, but with considerably more grinding than was necessary. Dan's mouth hung open a little as he moved his hips, his hands running lightly over Phil's chest and sides before he undid Phil's jeans and pushed them down his legs, leaving him just in boxers.

Phil moaned, keeping his eyes open and locked on Dan, taking in every motion, every sound, every touch. Phil ran his hands along Dan's thighs, completely taken with the younger boy. He forgot where they were. He rolled his hips up against Dan's and let out a soft sound as he got harder under his boxers. Dan smirked and leaned down, mouthing along Phil's jaw, then he kissed down his neck. He pulled back and looked him in the eyes, hips still rocking against Phil's.

"You know what's gonna happen tonight? When I tell you you can, you're gonna fuck me on this stage, and I want you to imagine there is an audience watching. Watching you own me, claim me, in a way they never can. Then every time you come here and witness me all over some nameless stranger, you can think of this and how they’ll never get a private show or get to fuck me on my stage... When I'm dancing, you’ll know it's for you."

Dan purred all this into Phil's ear, keeping his hips rolling down against Phil's at a steady pace.

"But not yet. I want you needing me."

Phil stared back at Dan, his eyes filled with lust for the younger boy. His hand went up and tangled in Dan's hair, pulling his mouth towards his, their lips crashing in a desperate kiss.

"You're going to need me, too," Phil purred, his other hand running along Dan's hip, pulling at his leather shorts and letting them snap back at Dan's skin.

Dan hissed, which quickly turned into a moan. He bit at Phil's lip and pulled back.

"Or I could get myself off in front of you, really tease you," he said, even though he had no intention of doing that.

He wanted Phil. He kissed him again but kept it controlled. When Phil tried to deepen it, Dan wouldn't let him. He wanted Phil worked up and frustrated.

Phil made a frustrated moan.

"Not a chance. You're mine," Phil growled and tugged at Dan's hair to make him pull away from the kiss.

He quickly attached his mouth to Dan's neck, loving the taste of his skin. Dan let out a contented noise and lightly ran his fingertips over Phil's torso before scratching down his chest. He was enjoying this. His fingers entangled in Phil's hair and tugged, detaching his mouth from Dan's neck so Dan could kiss him again, still not letting Phil get too far into the kiss. Phil let out a moan at the feeling of Dan's nails on his skin. He smirked into the kiss and wrapped his arms around Dan's neck, holding him close so he couldn't back away. He pushed his tongue into the younger boy’s mouth.

Dan let Phil kiss him deeply for a few seconds, craving it himself, but then bit at Phil's tongue, making him move back.

"Be patient, baby," he said, then stood up and walked over to the pole, which was difficult because he just wanted to be on Phil.

As soon as Dan's body was pulled away from his, Phil was up and following him. Phil grabbed his hand and tugged him back, holding his wrist tightly as his hand went into Dan’s hair. He brought their lips together, kissing him harshly and roughly pressing Dan's back into the pole.

"No," Phil growled into the kiss, "I need you now."

Dan moaned a little and pressed his hips forward into Phil's.

"You're gonna ruin my plan," he said against his lips, but kissed back because they both knew what they wanted.

"Did you think I could just sit there?" Phil said, nipping at Dan's lip as he ran his hand down Dan's body and pressed their hips together. "I kinda wish everyone was here, so they can see you belong to me."

“I could probably pull you up on stage with me at some point when I'm working," Dan said and then kissed Phil harder. One hand held onto the pole above his head so he was balanced, and Phil held the other wrist. He rolled his hips forward and moaned a little.

"Hmm, but if they saw you with me like this, they may think they can touch you like this, too," Phil said as he ran his hand over Dan’s crotch.

"What you thinking about, baby?" Dan said into the kiss.

Phil tugged at Dan's shorts.

"What do you think I'm thinking about?" He grabbed at Dan's bulge through the leather of the shorts.

Dan let out a small gasp.

"I dunno, you could be thinking about anything. It's not like you haven't seen me like this before, is it?" Dan said, playing innocent but bucking a little against Phil's hand.

Phil smiled and kissed along Dan's neck.

"I'm thinking of you, having you, on this stage, with everyone watching and being jealous because they can never be with you the way I am." Phil tugged Dan's wrist to put his hand on Phil’s chest. Phil rolled his body with the contact.

Dan ran his nails down Phil's chest again.

"Okay, well, I’ll turn it over to you now, baby, you decide what happens." He smirked and raised an eyebrow. "How do you want it?"

"You shouldn't give me control like that," Phil smirked, stepping back from Dan. "On your knees," Phil said in a command, waiting for Dan to do so.

He then pulled out his cock and put it against Dan's lips.

"Open. If you want me to fuck you, I'm gonna have to be harder than this," Phil said, stroking himself a little.

Dan let out a contented sound at Phil's actions. He liked it when Phil was dominant, more than he had admitted out loud. He smirked a little, then made a show of opening his mouth, ready to accept Phil's cock, but not moving to take it. He wanted Phil to do that. He looked up at Phil. Phil's cock sat against his lower lip as Dan breathed hot air over the head, waiting for his next move. Dan’s eyes locked with Phil's.

Phil looked over Dan, his eyes filled with want, before he grabbed Dan's hair and yanked him forward, bringing the younger boy’s mouth over his cock. Not wasting any time, he started thrusting into Dan's mouth, one hand still on himself. He brought Dan's mouth down to cover him completely.

"Use your mouth properly. I know you know how," Phil ordered, keeping a tight grip on Dan's hair.

Dan moaned at the treatment Phil was giving him. He did as he was told and sealed his mouth around Phil's cock, using his tongue along the underside to add sensation as Phil thrusted in and out of his mouth. He wanted this to play out like Dan was being paid for this, the difference being he would enjoy every second of it. He would do everything and anything Phil requested. He wanted this memory to burn bright in Phil's mind.

Phil moaned, throwing his head back for a moment. He let himself get lost in the feeling of Dan around him as he got harder inside Dan's mouth. He pulled out halfway, stroking the part of himself that wasn't covered.

"You're so perfect at that," Phil said, removing himself from the younger boy’s mouth and shoving him to the floor.

Phil quickly crawled over him and attached their mouths. Phil's knee went between Dan's leg, giving him some friction there.

"Grind against my leg," Phil said softly, moving to kiss down Dan's jaw and neck.

Dan started to grind against Phil's leg needfully.

"Imagine an audience was watching this, baby, seeing how easily I listen to you, do what you tell me to do..." He moaned a little at Phil's mouth on his neck.

"How needy you are for me, you can’t wait for this, you want me to touch you and to fill you up," Phil purred, moving his lips across Dan's neck, working down to his collar. "You've got me right where you want me," Phil said, softly nipping at the skin.

He moved away and crawled lower, pulling Dan's shorts down and revealing the younger boy’s cock. Phil removed the shorts and spread Dan's legs, sitting between them and pulling Dan closer. Phil started massaging with two hands around Dan's cock, slowly working one hand up his length while the other caressed his balls.

"Mmhh, Phil," Dan moaned a little and rolled his hips up. His lip was between his teeth as he watched Phil touch him. "Mhm, I am needy for you, only ever you," he purred out, a whine notable in his voice.

Phil smirked. He liked being able to turn Dan on like this. Dan could turn on a whole room of men, but Phil could get Dan needy like no one else could. He kept stroking Dan with two hands, his thumbs working together over the head.

"I like when you moan my name, you should do it more often," Phil said, smiling at Dan.

"Make me then," Dan said and bucked up.

He was watching Phil work on him, two hands running over his cock, and it felt amazing.

"Mhh, that's good," he muttered, his hand reaching out and scratching over Phil's hip a little.

Phil made a soft sound in response to the scratches and smiled.

"You know I will," Phil said and let go of Dan's cock with one hand to stick three fingers into Dan's mouth, not giving a command, just expecting Dan to know what Phil wanted.

Dan took the fingers into his mouth and sucked on them, running his tongue between the digits before releasing them from his mouth. He wanted him so badly but just stayed silent, waiting.

Phil brought his hand down in between Dan's legs which were still spread, as the younger boy was offering himself to Phil.

"You're cute when you look at me like that," Phil said smiling, one of his fingers teasing along Dan's entrance before pushing two inside, Phil's other hand still stroking Dan's cock.

Dan clenched his teeth together, holding back a moan. He wanted Phil to have to work hard to get noises out of him.

"Look at you like what? I don't think cute is an accurate word to use when your hand is on my cock and I'm sucking on your fingers like a slut," he said, eyes rolling back a little as he tried to not react vocally to the feeling of Phil's fingers inside of him.

"When you look at me with those eyes and I can see how badly you want me," Phil said, thrusting his fingers in and out of Dan as he curved them. "And you bite your lip, holding back that moan that comes from just the thought of having me inside you."  Phil let go of Dan's cock in order to lean over him and bite at his lip. "Is sexy a better word to describe you then?"

"Describe me however you want," he breathed out, breath hitching as Phil bit at his lip.

He was still holding back his moans though. He wanted this to be a challenge. He pushed down against Phil's fingers, flopping his head back and hitting it against the pole, but Dan didn't care.

"You know, from some angles, if people looked in the windows at the right spots, they could see what you're doing to me right now. The stage is visible from the street from about three small areas."

Phil smiled.

"Good," Phil said, rolling his body against Dan's. "I'd want them to see." He added the third finger and started stretching him out. "Would you like that, if someone saw this, saw how much you belonged to me, because I get to fuck you on your stage?"

"Mhm, yeah," Dan breathed out, then reached one hand up above him and gripped the pole to ground himself.

He rolled his hips down a bit again against Phil’s fingers, enjoying the stretch. Phil kissed Dan's cheek and sat back up, stroking Dan's cock again with the movement of his fingers. He wanted to get Dan needy for him again. Sometimes Phil would get really jealous that he had to share Dan with other men, but when it came down to it, Dan was his and they both knew that. Phil curved his fingers to find Dan's sweet spot that would make him moan.

Dan’s mouth opened and he almost moaned as Phil's fingers brushed that spot, but he quickly bit down and clenched his teeth again, meeting Phil's eyes defiantly. It felt amazing though, even more so because this was risky, it was something he had never done before, and it would give Phil a sense of Dan belonging to him.

"I like this. If you think about it, you're kinda lucky. Most guys don't have their own personal hooker in love with them who can do physically anything you want to experience. Anything you want, I would let you, baby. There are perks to dating me. Don't be afraid to use them."

Phil blushed a little, looking at Dan. For the most part, Phil was a very vanilla sex kinda guy. That was all he wanted and needed. But he was with Dan, someone who was sexually experienced in many ways and could handle pretty much anything Phil wanted. He would have to use this perk sometime for more than just morning sex. Phil smiled and nodded.

"I will sometime, baby. I'm not used to having someone as wonderful as you," he cooed and pulled his fingers out of Dan. "You have lube?" Phil asked. As always, he knew Dan did, but just wanted to know where.

Dan pointed to his pants and Phil leaned over to grab them, pulling a lube packet out of his pocket. They both carried these on them so often now. Phil ripped open the packet with his teeth, pouring the lube along his length. He stroked himself a few times, wiping the excess along Dan's entrance and sticking his fingers back inside Dan.

"Do you want me inside you?" Phil asked, curving his fingers and hitting Dan's sweet spot again.

"Mh, I always want you inside me," Dan moaned a little, not being able to help it. He was so close to getting what he wanted now. "I love what we do, I love how we have sex. Just letting you know for future reference, never be afraid to ask for something with me." He pushed down on Phil's fingers needfully. "Now please fuck me, Phil, I want your cock so bad," he whined a little, biting his lip.

Phil quickly pulled out his fingers and lined up his cock, quickly pushing inside and filling Dan completely. With how Dan was looking at him, Phil couldn't resist the younger boy.

"Mm, fuck," Phil whined, leaning over Dan so their bodies were closer.

He waited to make sure Dan was alright. He had moved a lot faster than he’d planned, but Dan could usually take this kind of treatment.

Dan's eyes rolled back a little as he made a "uahh" sound. He could take it, but he wasn't expecting it, and that make him smirk a little.

"I'm fine, babe, you know I am," he reassured Phil.

This was what he wanted: for Phil to act on what he wanted tonight, to make this unforgettable in his memory.

"I'm sorry, that was fast," Phil said, kissing Dan's cheek and lips, pausing there to bite at Dan’s lip as he slowly rolled his hips to pull out of Dan and thrust back in.

One hand worked its way to find Dan's that wasn't holding onto the pole and intertwine the two boys’ fingers before pushing Dan’s hand against the floor.

"I said I can take it. Don't hold back. It's fine," he said, moaning as Phil's cock pressed into him again. He nipped Phil's lip back cheekily, letting Phil push his hand against the floor. "You feel so good inside me, baby.”

Phil moaned and thrusted faster, one hand tangling into Dan's hair as he kissed him a bit more feverishly.

"God, you're so tight," Phil moaned again against Dan's lips.

He sat back, letting go of Dan's hand and hair to grab one of Dan's legs and lift it higher, putting his calf over Phil's shoulder and holding onto his leg as he thrust deeper and harder.

Dan moaned, gasping a little as Phil got deeper inside him.

"Mmhh, fuck, Phil," he whined and rolled his hips down, purposefully tensing his body to give Phil more pleasure.

Phil gripped harder onto Dan's thigh, scratching his nails up the soft skin. He moaned, feeling Dan tightening around him even more.

"I knew I could make you say my name," Phil said in a low moan, looking down at Dan with lustful eyes.

Dan smiled, but moaned again before he had the chance to reply because of the scratching.

"Course you can, I just wanted you to have to work for it," Dan breathed out. "Mmh, I want you deeper," he muttered, pushing back against Phil, trying to draw him deeper into him.

Phil pulled out of Dan, earning a whine from the younger boy.

"Get on your hands and knees, ass facing me," Phil ordered.

Dan made a whimpering noise, but moved into the position he was told, clenching around nothing and desperately wanting to be filled again.

"Phiill," he whined, nudging his ass back closer to Phil.

Phil put his hands on Dan's hips, guiding him back down onto his cock. He thrust fully inside and, keeping himself buried, grabbed Dan's waist and shoulder and pulled him up. Now Phil was on his knees, sitting on his heels, and Dan was on his knees, sitting on Phil. Phil put his hand low on Dan’s stomach and pressed down.

"Do you feel that?" Phil said and took Dan's hand and put it where Phil’s was previously. "Move your hips," he said, pushing Dan up and back down so Dan could feel Phil thrusting inside him with his hand.

Dan started grinding his hips down against Phil as he thrusted inside him. This position got Phil so deep that Dan's mouth was hanging open, his breathing becoming ragged.

"Oh, fuck," he whined out, pressing more into the skin on his lower stomach with his hand. "Mmh, I can feel you."

Phil moaned, feeling the pressure from Dan's hand.

"God, that feels amazing," he gasped and bit at Dan's shoulder briefly before interrupting himself with another moan. "Keep moving."

Dan moaned and kept grinding his ass down against Phil, hand still pressing against his stomach.

"Jesus," he muttered. "This feels amazing." His head leaned back against Phil's shoulder as he got lost in the sensations, his back arching a little more.

Phil's hand wandered to start stroking Dan's cock with their movements.

"If only everyone could see you right now, feeling me inside you from the outside, how much you love it." Phil had Dan stay up on his knees so he could thrust up into him harder, still filling deep inside him.

Dan was making little noises every time Phil thrust into him now, not even needing to grind down against him. He was lost in this sensation; this was something he hadn't felt before, not with a cock inside him anyway.

"It's ‘cause you're fucking huge," Dan whined out. "It's so good."

Phil smiled. He liked compliments like that. Phil pushed Dan forward, pressing his upper body to the floor while the younger boy’s ass remained in the air. He kept thrusting hard inside him.

"I love the sounds you make," Phil purred, kissing Dan's back before straightening up again and pumping Dan's cock faster.

"Fuck, Phil, you're gonna make me come if you keep doing that," he moaned and pushed his ass back against Phil's hips. "I love it when you sound like that." He liked Phil's sex voice, a lot. He could get lost in it.

"I want you to come," Phil replied, scratching his nails down Dan's back, loving the way Dan's lean body tensed and relaxed under his touch. He let out a low moan. "God, you're beautiful," Phil said, running his hand over Dan's shoulders.

Dan moaned loudly.

"Mmh, fuck, I'm gonna." He pushed against Phil needfully, gripping the pole in front of him with one hand. He was so close, but was trying to hold back.

"Do it, come for me Dan," Phil said, moaning loudly, not slowing his pace at all, wanting to push Dan over the edge.

He wanted to see Dan's face, but they were both too far lost in the moment. Dan moaned loudly and his head dropped, his cheek pressed hot against the cold floor.

"Mmhh, shit," Dan moaned loudly and came hard over Phil's hand, moaning Phil's name over and over.

Dan fell forward a little, seeing white. He was still physically aware of what was happening but couldn't move. He didn't care--it felt so good--so all he did was lie there and breathe, the odd moan still passing between his lips.

Phil smiled as he moaned. He loved Dan’s orgasms. Phil let out a soft gasp as he slowed down his thrusts and pulled out of the younger boy’s body. He slowly and carefully pulled Dan so he was lying down then turned him over and delicately touched his face. Dan was still breathing heavily and letting out soft sounds, his eyes staring straight up. Phil opened Dan's legs wider and pushed back inside him, thrusting again. He was leaning over Dan, supporting himself with his forearms as he rolled his hips faster, letting out needy moans as he pressed his face into Dan's neck.

Dan lay there, letting Phil push into him over and over, little moans still passing Dan's lips every time. He loved this. After he had come and Phil used his body to get off, he felt helpful, useful. He was still in his post-orgasm haze, but had enough of his mind to tighten himself around Phil to draw him closer.

Phil moaned loudly, feeling Dan around him.

"Mmm, fuck," Phil gasped and bit at Dan's neck. "Oh, fuck, you're so perfect." One of Phil's hands tangled into Dan's hair.

Phil liked that Dan let him do this. Dan had already come, but didn't make Phil stop touching him. He encouraged Phil to keep going and finish using Dan's body. Phil kissed at the bite mark and thrusted a few more times, losing rhythm and gaining need.

"Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, Dan, I love you," Phil said, coming inside Dan and collapsing on top of him while still inside.

His breath was heavy and he didn’t want to move. He just wanted to take in the moment and appreciate Dan. Dan moaned as Phil came, feeling it fill him up, warm and wet and perfect.

"Love you, too," he breathed out, one arm wrapping around Phil's shoulder as he collapsed on top of him.

Phil smiled and tilted his face up to steal a kiss.

"Thank you." Phil said that a lot after sex, but he always was grateful for whatever Dan did for him.

Phil pulled out with a shaky breath and rolled over onto the floor, which was a lot harder than the bed he was used to rolling over onto.

Dan smiled at Phil.

"That is quite okay," he said quietly, his hand ran down his own body, then ran over his entrance. He pushed one finger into himself and moaned lightly, feeling Phil's come inside him.

Phil ran his hand delicately over Dan's stomach.

"You still really like that, don't you? Feeling me come inside you, that is," Phil said softly, watching Dan finger himself.

"Mmh, yes," Dan moaned. "I love it. It's so good, feeling you inside me, feeling what you leave inside me..." He moaned a little then pulled his fingers out, looking across at Phil.

Phil leaned back over Dan to give him a kiss.

"I like coming inside you. I know I'm possessive, but I like claiming you like that." Phil sat up more, wanting to get to a more comfortable place than the stage floor. "No one else will ever get to have you like I just did," Phil said softly.

"Mhm, only you get that. I like it that you're possessive," Dan said, kissing Phil back softly.

"Let's go home," Phil whispered as his face was so close to Dan's. He wanted to snuggle, but this floor was too hard. Plus, they didn't want to get caught.

Dan nodded and sat up, pouting a little.

"Sore, floors aren't great to get fucked on," Dan muttered and rubbed at his lower back before moving to try locate his clothing.

"No, they aren’t," Phil agreed and scooted over to grab his underwear and pulled that on before standing up to find where the rest of his clothing went. "But that was fun. Anytime you want to give me a private dance is fine by me," Phil said giggling.

"Did you like it? I just wanted to show you how much I'm yours," Dan said after he got dressed, walking over to Phil and wrapping his arms around his middle.

Phil put his arms over Dan's shoulders and leaned in close to him.

"Yes, I loved it. I love when you do things like this for me, it makes me feel loved," Phil said, smiling and leaning in to kiss Dan's nose.

"You are loved," Dan said back, kissing Phil's lips softly. "I love you a lot."

"I know." Phil couldn't stop smiling. Dan had gone through all this just to remind Phil that he was loved. "I love you more."

Phil pulled Dan closer and rested his head on Dan's shoulder as he hugged him. He let them stay there for a moment before pulling back.

"Home now. We can cuddle comfortably there," Phil said, blushing a bit.

"Impossible," Dan whispered back and nodded to Phil's comment, following him outside. "I got the keys off Claire, although I didn't tell her exactly why..." he said, giggling a little and grabbing Phil's hand.

Phil intertwined their fingers and smiled at Dan.

"She just let you take them without asking questions?" Phil asked.

"Well, I had to make something up, but I think she probably figured it out and didn't want details, so she gave me the keys to shut me up," Dan said giggling.

When they had set the club back the way it was before they arrived, they headed out the back door, except Phil had the use of his eyes this time.

They caught a taxi and Phil rested his head against Dan's shoulder. It was way too early in the morning for Phil's usual time of rest, but that was the time the club was closed so it made sense why Dan had made him stay up. But now he was really tired and just wanted to crawl in bed with Dan and hold him.

"We can sleep soon, baby. I'm sorry for keeping you up so late. I’ll make you breakfast in the middle of the afternoon later, okay?" he said, kissing Phil's hair.

Dan was just as tired as Phil, but it was his idea to stay up so late. Phil smiled and tilted his face up.

"Thanks, love," he said, nuzzling Dan's neck.

Soon enough they were home and Phil walked into the bedroom, already undressing. Once he was in his underwear, he crawled into bed, getting into his normal spot and waiting for Dan to fill the empty space next to him.

Dan stripped and crawled into bed in his boxers.

"Sleep time," he said simply before cuddling down and falling asleep entwined with Phil.

Phil fell asleep as soon as he felt Dan's warmth next to him, feeling completely at peace because he knew this perfect boy was his. No matter who got a chance with Dan, no one would ever have him like Phil did. He didn't even need to say anything else. He just held tightly onto him and fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's symbolic....  
> If you don't get how then we have failed miserably  
> have a good week guys.   
> i feel like the storm's about to pick up again


	37. Good Girl

Dan woke up first, although it was considerably late, already mid-afternoon. He looked over at Phil and smiled; he looked so peaceful when he slept. Dan quietly snuck out of bed and into the kitchen, making sure he closed the doors behind him so Phil would stay sleeping and not be woken up by the sound of Dan cooking.

Dan decided to go overboard. He had never had a boyfriend to cook breakfast in bed for before, so he went all out. He cooked bacon, eggs, sausages and tomatoes, made toast and coffee, and poured glasses of orange juice. He arranged it all on a tray and smiled to himself. It looked really good and he was proud of his efforts. He slowly crept down the hall, reopening all the doors before going back to the kitchen and grabbing the tray.

He put the tray on his own side of the bed for now so Phil didn't accidentally kick it in the process of waking up. Dan leaned over and kissed Phil's cheeks, then his lips.

"Phil... baby... It's time to wake up. I know you're tired, but I have food," Dan said and giggled as he nuzzled his face against the neck of the sleeping Phil.

Phil whined from being woken up. He stretched his legs under the covers and moved his hand up to touch Dan's face.

"You have food?" Phil asked, smiling slightly and keeping his eyes closed. His favorite way to wake up was from Dan’s kisses. "You're wonderful," Phil said softly, finally opening his eyes to look at Dan.

"No, you’re wonderful, and yes, I have food. I think I made a lot, so I hope you're hungry," Dan said, meeting Phil's eyes for the first time that day and smiling. "Good morning," he said as Phil now showed signs of being actually awake.

"Good morning," Phil said, scooting up and planning on getting up to go to the kitchen; whatever Dan made for breakfast smelled amazing. But then he looked over and saw the tray resting on the side of the bed. His face lit up and he looked back at Dan.

"You brought it for me in bed!?" Phil asked, his smile now a full blown grin. He had never had anyone do that for him before, and right now it seemed like the most wonderful thing in the world.

"Mhm," Dan said and nodded, blushing a little. "I wanted to surprise you," he said, smiling and moving the tray over so it was between them with all their food on it.

Phil smiled still watching Dan.

"Thank you. I'm serious, this is great, Dan." He looked over all the food. Grabbing a piece of toast, he took a bite and smiled to himself. "Scoot closer. We can put the tray on our laps," Phil said, covering his mouth as he still had toast in it.

Dan giggled.

"You're cute," he said and shuffled over, moving the tray so they both had access to it.

Phil made a cute smile at Dan and picked up a fork, really happy that Dan was left-handed and Phil was right-handed so they could eat without elbowing each other.

"I've never had someone bring me breakfast like this before," Phil said, eating some eggs. "So I mean it, thank you."

"I haven't made it for anyone either, so you're welcome," Dan said smiling, picking up his fork and starting to eat as well.

They ate silently for a little while as Phil woke up more.

"Did we have any plans today or can we just lounge about and watch TV?"

"We can do anything you’d like. No plans," Dan said, smiling and nuzzling Phil. "A lazy day sounds fun."

"I could go for a lazy day, too." Phil smiled, picked up another piece of toast, and brought it to Dan's mouth. "Ah," he said, telling Dan to open his mouth.

Dan smiled, then opened this mouth and bit the toast, giggling.

"Thank you," he said when he finished the bite. "This is nice. I'm really happy Phil."

Phil giggled and blushed a little; he still wasn't used to how perfect Dan was. They ate as much as they could--Dan really made a lot of food--but Phil was grateful for all of it.

"I'll help you clean the dishes," Phil said, stretching and picking up the tray. "But wanna shower with me first?"

"Sure, I won’t ever turn down a chance to shower with you," Dan said softly. He moved the tray away to the other side of the bed and stretched.

"Naked time," Phil said, laughing and rolling out of bed to run to the bathroom. He turned on the water and stepped back into the bedroom. "Run the tray to the kitchen, then get back in here." Phil smiled at Dan and hopped back into the bathroom.

Dan put the tray in the kitchen, then stripped outside the bathroom before going in and joining Phil. He snaked his arms around Phil's middle, stepping under the stream of hot water.

"Hello," he said and kissed Phil's shoulder.

Phil leaned his head back, resting against Dan.

"Hey, love," Phil said softly, wrapping his arms around Dan's. "Mornings with you are the best." Phil smiled; every morning was with Dan.

Dan grinned.

"I’ve loved mornings since you showed up," Dan said. He ran his hands over Phil's hips and sides before pushing Phil's head under the water to get his hair wet so he could wash it.

Phil closed his eyes as the water covered him.

"How’s your back feel? The stage floor isn't exactly the most comfortable place," Phil asked gently, his hand going behind him to touch Dan's hair.

"A little sore, but worth it though," Dan said, smiling and leaning into Phil's touch as he took the shampoo off the shelf and started cleaning Phil's hair for him.

"Hmm," Phil sighed in content as Dan massaged his head. "If you want, when we go to cuddle on the couch, I can rub your back while we watch TV," Phil said, putting his hair back under the water.

"Yes, please," Dan said softly, tilting Phil's head back under the water so the shampoo rinsed from his hair.

When Phil's hair was clean, he turned them around and did the same to Dan, massaging the shampoo into his hair and rinsing it. Then he grabbed two washcloths and handed one to Dan. Phil poured some shampoo onto the cloth and started rubbing Dan's body with it. Dan did the same to Phil. Before long, they were both clean and standing under the water, cuddling together.

"We should get out now; we’ll turn into prunes," Dan said, giggling and kissing Phil's wet skin.

Phil rested his head against Dan's shoulder and looked at his hands, which were already starting to prune.

"Fine," Phil said with a bit of a whine before reaching to turn off the water.

He opened the shower door and stepped out. He quickly stepped over to grab some towels, wrapping one around his waist and one over his shoulders.

"I'm cold," Phil said as he grabbed another towel to hand to Dan.

Dan wrapped his towel around himself and followed Phil out of the shower.

"If we dress fast, warm couch cuddles sound like a plan," he said as he dried himself off.

Phil nodded and dried himself off, putting on a new pair of soft pajamas. They weren’t planning on going out today, so Phil felt no need to wear normal clothing. He was all dressed and started drying off his hair with the hair dryer. Once he was all warm and clothed in a comfy hoodie, he stepped over to Dan and grabbed his hand. "I'll be in the lounge," Phil said, leaning to kiss Dan's cheek. Then he padded off to the lounge, allowing Dan to finish straightening his hair.

Dan was also dressed in pajamas, but his hair needed to look right for him to be comfortable. When that was achieved, he padded out into the lounge and sat next to Phil, nuzzling against him.

"Hello," he said. "Feeling warmer now you have clothes on?"

"I'm warmer now that you're next to me." Phil smiled and put his arm around Dan again.

Phil had already set up the DVD; it was just waiting for him to hit play. He gave Dan a small kiss.

"Lie down," Phil said, pulling away to give Dan space to move. "I'll massage your back while we watch the episode. Just don't fall asleep, okay?"

"I’ll try not to." Dan giggled and lay down, smiling at Phil. "Thank you," he said and laid his head against his hands.

Phil smiled, pressed play on the remote, and put his hands on Dan's back, firmly massaging over his shoulders in a circular motion. He didn’t talk, he just rubbed Dan's back as the episode started.

Dan made a happy sound.

"Hmm," he sighed with content, relaxing a little. "You’re super good at that, seriously."

Phil smiled to himself.

"Not really. You've just never had someone give you a massage before," Phil said, laughing a little.

He didn't think he was bad at massages, but didn't think he was particularly good either. However, he was probably exactly what Dan needed.

Their life continued as normal for the rest of the week. Dan went to work on Friday and nothing eventful happened. He then spent Saturday cuddling with Phil until it was time for him to go to work. He kissed Phil goodbye and left, starting work like any other night. He was bought for the evening by one rather well-off man who wanted him for a double session. Dan was okay with that; he didn't care as long as he paid for it.

This guy seemed different though. As soon as they got out of the back room, the man started caressing his hips and ass, telling him how gorgeous his curves were. Dan shrugged it off, but when the man told Dan to turn, face the wall and strip, then called him a "good girl" when he did as was requested, it started to make sense. Dan resisted the urge to make an irritated noise.

His theory was confirmed when the man dropped some clothing next to him, which Dan could clearly see was women’s. There were suspenders, stockings, panties, a garter and a bra. Dan was already starting to hate this. He could take people being nasty, abusive even, but denial of his gender? It went against everything. He was a MALE prostitute; pretending he was anything other than that felt weird and uncomfortable.

"Do you like your new lingerie, baby? I picked them out specially for you, sweetie."

Dan gritted his teeth before responding.

"Mh, yes, they are gorgeous, thank you." He then proceeded to put them on, not turning around, as he assumed the reason he was facing this way was so that the man didn't see his cock.

"Tuck yourself for me, then turn and face me, baby."

Dan did so, reddening a little low on his cheeks because the process was already humiliating and it hadn't even started yet.

The man looked him up and down, then pulled Dan closer by his arm. He ran his hands down over Dan’s collar bones and over the front of the padded bra that gave the illusions of breasts, albeit small ones. Dan cringed a little; it was weird and he didn't like it.

"I chose you because you're the only one out there who could pull this off--your body, even your face… it's like you were born for this."

It was meant to be a compliment, but Dan just heard an insult. As the man started to kiss where Dan’s 'breasts' were, Dan just looked away, feeling strangely exposed and awkward. After a few minutes of this and many mutterings of "good girl," "so pretty and smooth," and "curves," Dan was told to get on his knees on the bed. He obliged, and the man ran his hands over his ass, slapping it and making Dan flinch--not at the pain but at what the action stood for.

This man wanted feminization, and it made Dan feel uneasy and awkward. He was a man, and being anything other than that--even for a sexual role play--made him feel incredibly uneasy. It was like they were taking the only thing that wasn't a question for him. He was male, and that was it… until this experience.

"Hey, be a good girl and pull yourself forward. I don't wanna see that shit, okay?" the man said, flicking his finger against Dan's balls. Dan jumped a little before reaching down and pulling everything forward, out of the man’s sight.

Tonight his genitals were something to ignore, something to pretend didn't exist. The feeling of uneasiness deepened. Dan almost wanted to jump off, pull the stupid outfit off, and do something to prove his masculinity, but he couldn't because then he wouldn't get paid. So he just sat there and pretended he was somewhere else.

There was a sickly sweet smell and a cold feeling on his neck and Dan almost growled in annoyance. Perfume. Really? The man started to work down Dan's panties slowly, delicately, before slapping his skin directly. Dan was actually a little thankful because regardless of what happened next, at least he wasn't wearing panties anymore.

"Good girl, you shaved everything for me. That's how I like my girls: clean shaven and smooth. I hope you will moan like a girl for me, sweetie, cause I'm gonna fuck your pussy so hard."

Dan visibly cringed. That definitely crossed some mental line for him. He had an ass, people fucked his ass, his hole even. But this man pretending he had what a girl had? No. It dawned on Dan that this man wouldn't use lube unless he asked since girls don't always need lube, but guys most definitely did. So Dan had to actually play along with this awful scenario.

"Baby, it's been ages since--since someone fucked my pussy, so could you use some lube, babe, please?" Dan felt angry; this was too far out of the box for even him, and it got worse the more he had to play along.

The man obliged, and Dan breathed a sigh of relief. Before long they were fucking, Dan holding everything that made him a boy out of sight as the man moaned and groaned about how tight his pussy was, how gorgeous his curvaceous hips were, how much of a good girl he was, and how he should moan higher. Dan acquiesced to everything the man requested. When the man was close, he made Dan kneel on the floor, hiding his cock behind his hands as the man jerked off looking at him. The man came over Dan’s face and down his chest, onto the bra he was still wearing. He called him a good girl one last time then threw the cash on the bed, walking out and leaving Dan kneeling on the floor, dressed ridiculously and covered in come.

He stood up slowly, looking at himself in the mirror on the wall. He was still covering his cock and he flinched at the image before him. He quickly pulled the stockings and garter off, followed by the bra, throwing it to the ground like it was poison. He got into the shower and scrubbed himself clean, viciously clean, especially at his neck where the man had sprayed the perfume.

Dan was soon done, but on the way home, he couldn't stop thinking about the things the man had said. Were they true? Compared to his workmates, Dan was smoother, thinner, but he hadn't really thought of that as feminine. Was that why people wanted him? Because he reminded them of a girl? Is that why they always wanted him to bottom?

He got home and unlocked the door, lost in his thoughts until he saw Phil sitting on the couch. Dan was mentally messed up right now, but physically it had been an easy night for him. And as soon as he saw Phil, Dan knew what he wanted. He went over to the couch and sat next to Phil. Usually he would probably sit on Phil's knee, but right now he was intent on avoiding anything that might come across as feminine. Dan didn't say anything, just reached out, tilted Phil's face towards his own, and kissed him harshly, straight away dominating the kiss, commanding Phil to submit to it with his actions. His tongue worked into Phil's mouth as his hand moved to the back of Phil's neck, holding the hair at the base of his neck to keep Phil close.

"Hey, babe, how’s--" Phil had started to say before Dan’s mouth was on his.

He made a soft sound of pleasure and put his hand up to Dan's chest, gripping at his shirt and keeping him close. Phil was confused--Dan never came home with this much energy--but he wasn't complaining.

"How was work?" Phil mumbled, keeping his mouth on Dan's.

Dan shook his head and kissed him even more harshly, his sense of urgency hopefully evident to Phil. His hands went to Phil’s shoulders and he pushed him against the back of the couch.  It wasn’t that Phil was trying to get away, but that Dan wanted to show that he was strong, that he wasn't weak and fragile.

Phil gave into the kiss, not asking anything else. Something had happened, obviously, but Dan would tell him later. Right now, this was what Dan wanted and needed from him. Phil made a slight moan and opened his mouth to allow Dan's tongue inside again.

Dan moaned back and bit at Phil’s lip. He quickly moved his hands up under Phil's shirt and pulled it up and off.  He then re-connected their lips before kissing down Phil's neck, still with the same quick and controlled movements. Dan was almost acting like he was working because he wanted to make Phil feel good. Dan needed to prove his masculinity. If he could get Phil off, make Phil scream his name, then he would feel better.

"I'm gonna fuck you," he said lowly against Phil's neck, nipping at the skin then biting it a little harder, his hands running down Phil's chest as Dan worked to excite him.

Phil's mouth fell open as he shuddered under the touch. He loved this newfound dominance Dan had come home with.

"Mhm, please, I want you," Phil said, a slight whine in his voice as he moved his hand to Dan's hair, running his fingers lovingly through the strands.

"Good, cause I'm having you," Dan muttered and ran his fingers over Phil's waistband before working them down quickly. "My body, is it feminine?" he asked quickly before leaning down and kissing down Phil's chest using his teeth, dragging them over Phil's soft skin. He got down to Phil’s hips and bit at them. Dan was moving quickly, but he felt like he needed to. Phil was fully naked now, yet Dan was still fully clothed. Dan undid the zipper in his jeans and pulled his cock out, but stayed dressed. He moved back to kissing Phil's mouth before pulling back and standing in front of the couch.

"Use your mouth on me," Dan said, not asking but telling.

He knew Phil could handle it. In fact, so far Phil seemed to be excited by the dominance that Dan was showing. He pressed the back of Phil's head a little downward towards his cock.

Phil moved to the floor, on his knees in front of Dan.

"How could you be feminine when you've got this beautiful cock?" Phil said. He flicked his tongue over the head before taking it in his mouth, stroking the length that didn't fit.

Phil was still trying to figure out what had happened to Dan at work, but that was hard to think about in his current position. Phil moaned around Dan's cock and dipped his tongue over his slit. He lifted his mouth off with a pop and continued stroking Dan.

"I don't think you're feminine. You’re beautiful, but not feminine." Phil returned his mouth to Dan's cock, looking up at Dan with a sort of want.

Phil was getting incredibly turned on from this dominant side of Dan, this need and rush that usually wasn’t seen.

Dan closed his eyes and moaned, the night’s earlier frustration getting to him a little. Regardless of the context, someone still fucked him tonight and didn't once even acknowledge his cock’s existance, let alone touch it. He pushed his hips up a little, making Phil take a little bit more of him.

"Like my hips though, or like... me from the back. Feminine?" He breathed out, eyes still closed as he got lost in the gorgeous feeling and warmth of Phil's mouth.

One hand tangled in Phil's hair and directed his movement a little. Dan wasn't going deep because he didn't want to push Phil; Phil's mouth and throat hadn't had to deal with the stuff Dan's had. Instead, Dan gently pushed into his mouth, not taking it too far, but enjoying the feeling of control it gave him still.

Phil couldn't respond at first with Dan pushing into his mouth. He moved his tongue around and moaned, sending vibrations around Dan’s cock. He waited to speak until Dan pulled his head back.

"You're not feminine," Phil responded, then began forcing himself to take Dan deeper than he normally could. He wasn't as talented as Dan was with blow jobs, but he still wanted to do his best.

Phil had sort of figured out what had happened. Someone had at least told Dan he was feminine and told him enough that it bothered him to the point where he came home still thinking about it. Phil made a gagging sound and lifted his face back up, breathing heavily before going back to licking the head of Dan's cock.

"Feels so good," Dan moaned and pushed just the head of his cock between Phil's lips, moaning at the feeling. "Mhh, fuck, get up," he instructed. "On your knees, ass towards me."

Phil wiped his mouth from the spit dripping down his lips and stood up.  He kneeled on the couch and put his hands on the back of it, waiting for Dan to decide on his next move.

"I miss the feeling of you inside me," Phil said, smiling over his shoulder at Dan.

Dan smiled and ran his fingers along Phil's entrance to tease. He pulled the lube out of his back pocket and squirted some on his fingers, not wasting any time.

"You do want this, yeah?" Dan said quietly before he went any further.

Phil gasped a little at the feeling of Dan's fingers.

"Mmm, yeah, please fuck me," Phil said in a soft voice, one hand reaching behind to spread himself.

Dan made a noise somewhere between a moan and a growl. It looked so good seeing Phil spread himself like that for him. He pushed a finger inside Phil, lip between his teeth as he watched his own actions. He started to pump his finger, adding another after a little while. He leaned down to nip and bite at Phil's shoulder just because he could.

"If I was a girl, I couldn't fuck you," Dan muttered, mainly to himself.

Phil made a soft moan, smiling at the feeling of Dan's fingers inside him. He pushed back against them.

"I'm glad you're not, then," he responded and bit his lip to stifle a louder moan from the feeling of Dan's teeth on his shoulder.

Dan quickly curved his fingers to run over Phil's sweet spot.

"Don't stifle it," he said a little forcefully. "React however it makes you want to react." He then made sure to rub his fingertip over that spot again.

It was egotistical, but he didn't care. The better he could make Phil feel, the more secure Dan would feel about everything, his masculinity included. Phil moaned, the hand he was using to spread himself falling back onto the couch.

"Mmm, I didn't, ahhh, wanna be too sensitive," Phil said, moans interrupting his words as Dan expertly touched that spot that sent waves of pleasure resonating through his body.

"If it feels good, react." Dan pressed his fingers deeper, harder onto that spot as he said the word react. "I need to fuck you, Phil, oh god," he whined a little, stretching Phil quicker with more need.

Phil's moans got more frequent and needier.

"Mm, feels good, ah." Phil pushed himself back onto Dan's fingers.

Phil was amazed by how just Dan's fingers could feel so good, but he still wanted more, wanted Dan to fill him up. Dan pulled his fingers out suddenly, unwilling to wait any longer. He poured some more lube, stroked his cock a few times, and moaned quietly before gripping Phil's hips tightly and pushing into him slowly. Dan did not want to hurt him, but he had every intention on getting rougher when Phil had adjusted to the intrusion.

Phil gasped, trying his best to relax his muscles. It had been too long since he had bottomed and was grateful Dan was taking it slow. He let out a slow breath.

"I'm okay," Phil said with a shaky breath.

Dan started to move slowly, not wanting to shock Phil. He bit his lip and he pushed into him. Phil was so tight and warm and he felt so good surrounding Dan like this.

"Mmmhhh, god," Dan moaned a little and let one of his hands move up to Phil's hair, running through the black strands comfortingly.

Phil let out a shaky moan and put his head against the back of the couch. When Dan was fully inside him, Phil felt the denim from Dan's jeans and felt a bit exposed realizing Dan was still fully dressed and he was completely naked. He blushed and turned his face so he could look back at Dan. Part of him wanted to ask Dan to undress, but maybe this was how Dan wanted it. He moved his hips a bit to grind on Dan's cock and feel him move inside him.

Dan moaned at Phil’s movement and then pushed into him harder, unable to help it. This was the first time he had ever been inside someone without a condom, so he felt especially sensitive.

"Mmhh, god, feels so much better," Dan muttered as he thrusted into Phil again, pushing deep into him.

Phil moaned more loudly.

"Mm, yeah, you can come inside me, too, baby," he said, his sentence ending with another moan.

Phil was excited for that: to feel Dan fill him up, all warm and loved. Phil rolled his hips again, drawing a louder moan out of himself.

"God you feel so good, harder."

"Oh, god," Dan moaned. He loved this, how it felt, how Phil sounded. "From now on, I’m topping more, okay?"

He thrust into Phil harder, pulling almost all the way out before sliding his entire length back into him. He raked his nails down Phil's back, wanting him to feel different sensations. He still wasn't feeling completely better though. He needed more. He reached down and tugged Phil's head up, making him look forward and not down.

"Am I masculine enough?" Dan asked as he thrust harder, before pulling out of him quickly. "Turn over, lie down, and face me."

Phil made a slight whining sound as suddenly he went from being full to empty. Wanting Dan to be inside him again, he moved as Dan had told him to and spread his legs open.

"Masculine enough for what?" Phil asked, blushing again seeing Dan was still clothed. He felt flustered by it, but didn't comment on it.

"For you, for being male, just... am I masculine enough?" He looked unashamedly over Phil's body. "Spread yourself for me. Show me what you want," he said, eyes flicking from Phil's chest, which had a light sheen of sweat over it, down to his cock, which was hard and red against his stomach. He reached down and stroked him lazily as he waited for Phil to do as he was told.

Phil moaned softly, his hips jerking up a little.

"You're enough," Phil said, moving his hands down between his legs and spreading himself open. His fingers lightly poked at his entrance, making him shudder in anticipation as he waited for Dan. "Please fuck me. I wanna feel your cock inside of me,"  he said in a whiny moan, desperate to have Dan inside him again.

Dan pushed a finger inside Phil, running his fingertip against his prostate.

"How much do you want it?" he asked as he simultaneously kept stroking Phil.

He had Phil begging for him; he must be man enough. His anxiousness was easing away.

"Mmmm!" Phil whined, jerking his hips up at the feeling of Dan's hand on him and finger inside him. He clenched around Dan's finger and dug his nails into his ass. "Please, Dan, please fuck me, I need it," he moaned and pressed his ass down onto the finger that was inside him.

It was nowhere near thick enough to satisfy his need. Even though Dan being as skilled as he was could directly hit his prostate, Phil needed something bigger. Dan pushed Phil's legs apart and pulled him forward so his ass was over the end of the couch. He knelt and thrust back into Phil, reaching up and gripping his wrists, holding them up against the back of the couch harshly.

"Ah fuck," Phil moaned, his mouth hanging open, a rush of excitement running through him as his wrists were pinned.

Now he understood why Dan liked it so much. Phil rolled his hips, the harsh denim rubbing against the back of his thighs, but he ignored it; he was just grateful to have Dan inside him again.

"Thank you for filling me with your cock," Phil said in a moan, staring back at Dan with a deep need.

Dan smirked. Phil was amazing at this, submitting to him.

"That is perfectly alright, my pleasure, baby," he said as he pushed in deeper, grinding his hips against Phil’s ass as he was fully inside him.

Phil smiled, letting out a soft noise of pleasure. Dan was so deep inside him that with each little movement, Phil could feel him more.

"Harder please," Phil asked, moving his hips and then tugging at his wrists, not to get away but just to feel Dan grip more tightly to them. When he did, Phil relaxed his body, giving Dan permission to use him as he wanted.

Dan pulled back and slammed hard into him.

"Fuck," he moaned out, gripping Phil's wrists more tightly. He leaned down and bit down on Phil's collar bone, licking over the marks he made. "I can't wait to come inside you, fill you up, claim you."

He moaned against Phil's shoulder as he directed his thrusts to Phil's sweet spot. Phil let out a loud moan as Dan thrust harder.

"Oh, fuck." Phil spread his legs more, allowing Dan to get even deeper inside with his thrusts. He kept trying to respond, but every time he had a thought, Dan would hit just the right spot, causing Phil’s thoughts to scatter and him to moan instead. "God, Dan, so good."

"Mhh, god, you feel so good," Dan moaned and thrust harder into him. "Stroke yourself," he said as he leaned up to kiss his lips.

Phil tilted his face closer to Dan's-- not connecting their lips, but leaning closely enough so that they could feel each other's breath.

"Can I have my hands?" Phil asked, tugging at his wrists a little.

"One," Dan said and released one, gripping the other still tightly. Dan pressed his lips to Phil's harshly, pulling almost all the way out before pounding back into him harder.

Dan was sweating and panting, and he felt like a man. He grinned into the kiss; it was working.

"I love you," he breathed out.

Phil kissed Dan back and let his hand work down between them to start stroking his own cock in time with Dan's thrusts.

"I love you too," Phil whispered moaning at the combined feeling of his hand stroking himself and Dan inside him. "You know, I could probably come from just you fucking me," Phil said in a bit of a taunt, he wanted to compliment and edge Dan to handle him more roughly at the same time.

"Do you want that? I can do that," Dan said smirking a little and thrusting in again and aiming more precisely.

He released Phil's wrist and then lifted Phil's leg up, letting himself get deeper inside Phil. Phil let out a loud moan--almost a scream--and let his arms fall loosely. He arched his back, and his legs were shaking at the pleasure running through his body.

"Oh god yes," Phil cried out, throwing his head back.

He moved his hands up, finding Dan's shoulders and neck, pulling him closer as Phil let out consistent moans.

Dan smirked and kept up the actions, slamming harder and harder.

"You sound so good, baby." Dan was squeezing Phil's thigh quite hard to balance himself.

Phil smiled as he moaned again and again, the smile fading and his mouth just hanging open as he let the pleasure consume him.

"Oh shit, Dan," Phil moaned, clinging to Dan's shoulders. "Fuck, I'm gonna come, please can I come?" he moaned, trying to hold back until Dan gave the okay.

Dan shook his head.

"No baby, hold it for me. You can do it," he purred as he kept fucking into him.

Phil wrapped his legs around Dan's waist and moved his hand down to his cock to hold back his orgasm.

"Fuuuuck Dan," Phil whined his breathing ragged and legs shaking.

Dan wanted Phil to come, wanted to hear him.

"Good, okay? Come, baby. I want you to. You can come," he said, quickening his thrusts, hand running over Phil's chest

Phil moved his hand and after a few quick thrusts from Dan, Phil was coming, he felt it through his whole body as every inch of him tensed and then released. His moan was loud and needy, and the warm liquid was sticking to his stomach, but he was hardly aware of it. He could still feel Dan thrusting inside of him, and he smiled, letting out soft residual moans.

Dan moaned at Phil tightening around him, drawing himself closer and closer. He felt himself tip over the edge and he started to come inside Phil, moaning loudly as the new sensation took over; it was wet and warm as he pushed his release deep inside Phil.

"Fuck, shit, uuh." He rode out his orgasm inside Phil before pulling out and lifting Phil's legs higher, moaning as he watched some of his come drip out of Phil's body and onto the floor.

He pushed one of his fingers inside Phil, encouraging more to drip out as he ran his finger along his entrance, transfixed on the view before him.

Phil gasped; this was a new feeling. He had never had anyone come inside him before. It was warm, insanely warm, and comforting. Phil had never felt more loved in his entire life than he did feeling Dan come inside him. His legs were up and Phil blushed, pushing more come out with his body.

Dan bit his lip as he watched Phil.

"That's it, god, that looks so good." He ran his hands over Phil's thighs before moving to kiss Phil's lips, leaning between Phil's legs so he could reach him.

Phil tilted his face up, kissing Dan back softly and lovingly.

"I love you," he whispered, his hands going to cup Dan's face.

Dan kept kissing him, hands running over Phil's arms softly.

"Love you," Dan muttered against Phil’s lips in response. "Was that okay?" he added, his mind clearing now and realizing that all of this would have been rather unexpected to Phil.

Phil kissed his cheek then went back to Dan’s lips again, keeping the kiss soft and caring.

"Mhm, welcome home," Phil said smiling. He really did enjoy that dominant side of Dan he had never seen before. "You can top any time you want."

Phil wanted to ask what had happened at work, but didn't want to bring it up if Dan didn't want to talk about it.

Dan smiled and giggled a little.

"Sorry if that was, um, surprising or too sudden," he said, running his hands through Phil's hair and placing little gentle kisses on his cheeks and lips every so often. He was oddly comfortable like this and didn't want to move away from Phil's warmth.

Phil leaned into the touches and put his arms around Dan's shoulders.

"Ya gonna tell me what happened at work to make you so upset?" Phil asked, giving Dan another kiss and hoping he wasn't out of line.

Dan nodded.

"Had a, um... really strange customer," he said, kissing along Phil's jaw to distract himself a little. "Made me wear female lingerie, hide my, um, anything that makes me male, called me ‘good girl’... said he chose me specially, that I was made to do that. I guess I just felt this animalistic need to defend my masculinity." Dan blushed a little. "I didn't like it. He kept referring to me and everything like I was female, complimenting me on my curves, and telling me to make high-pitched moans. It was weird." Dan made a face before kissing Phil again.

Phil held on a bit more tightly to Dan.

"What an idiot. If he wanted a girl, why didn’t he go get a female prostitute? It kinda seems like he was defeating the purpose of buying you."  Phil used these terms so casually now. He gave Dan some more kisses.

"It's a really weird kink, getting a male and making them feel unmasculine. I think the kink is in making me feel wierd more than the acts. It was uncomfortable." Dan shuddered a little. “So yeah, I wanted to prove I wasn't feminine, that I wasn't born to do that shit, and in my head that meant make you feel good, do my job as your male partner."

"You are most definitely male," Phil said, smiling and nipping at Dan's lips. "I've got your come inside me to prove it."

Dan smiled at Phil's comment.

"Yes, you do indeed," he said and smiled. "I liked that. That was fun. You're fun."

Phil nuzzled Dan's cheek.

"Can I get dressed?" Phil asked, blushing. He loved being so close to Dan, but being undressed with Dan still fully dressed was beginning to make him feel a bit too naked.

Dan laughed.

"Sorry, but you're gorgeous, so no need to get embarrassed. How about this: I take mine off and we can cuddle properly? That was great, but I kinda missed feeling my skin against yours."

Phil nodded and started pulling at Dan's shirt.

"Ya, get naked," Phil said, smiling.

That would make it better. He didn't mind being undressed in front of Dan, but he would feel more comfortable cuddling if Dan were undressed too.

Dan took his clothes off.

"Sorry if that was weird for you, me not undressing, that is. I dunno why, but I just got all kinda dominant about it. I've never done that. I've never had the opportunity; it's always what a customer wants if I dom. Being able to decide myself with you was kind of amazing, so I hope you were okay with what I chose." He was blushing, but he needed to check that he didn't overstep anything.

When he was undressed he sat on the couch and then pulled Phil down so they were lying together, then he pulled the blanket from over the back of the couch to drape over them.

Phil snuggled up with Dan.

"It didn't bother me at all," Phil wrapped his arms around Dan's middle, glad to feel skin on skin again. "I actually really liked you being dominant. It was nice to see you wanting something and taking it, instead of waiting ‘till I gave you want you wanted."

"I liked it, it was fun, but it didn't feel natural. I guess I'm kind of trained to not do that though, to wait and do what I'm told instead," Dan said a little sleepily. "It is interesting, though. It made me feel kind of liberated."

Phil smiled. Liberated was a good feeling.

"Yeah, but things are different with me, aren’t they?” Phil said, making small patterns against Dan's skin under the covers.

"Yeah, they are different with you, but sometimes my head still forgets that" he said quietly and then leaned up to kiss Phil.

"We should move to the bed; you're tired."

"But I like cuddling like that. I don't wanna move"

"I like cuddling too," Phil said as he smiled into the kiss.

Phil still remembered when Dan would refuse to cuddle with him, freak out and back away, but now it was a regular pastime for them: cuddling on the couch, watching TV or playing games, or lying in bed and talking.

"If you fall asleep here, I'm gonna wake you up to bring you to bed."

“M'kay,” Dan said and pulled Phil up closer, snuggling into him. “You're perfect. You’re really hot when you’re submissive, by the way.”

Phil smiled.

“Yeah? You were hot being all dominant,” he kissed Dan's cheek and played with his hair. "Do you prefer topping?"

Dan thought for a moment.

"I dunno," he said as he looked at Phil. "I've never been asked that before. I like topping. A lot. Especially with you, it feels amazing... but I like submitting to you too, feeling you inside me. I think I like them both equally. With you anyway. At work, I prefer topping cause no one can really hurt me a lot that way, but that's not an issue with you," his arms wound around Phil's middle as he sighed happily, completely content.

Phil nodded.

"Yeah, I feel the same. I like both. It's more fun that way," Phil closed his eyes and relaxed into the couch. "I wish you didn't get hurt at work. Sex shouldn't have to hurt."

"Yeah, I know that now. I’m glad you showed me that," Dan said and buried his head against Phil. "I will get out, at some point. This won’t be forever." He said it quickly against Phil. "I don't want that to be all I do in my life."

Phil tightened his arms around Dan.

"You have so much time left in your life Dan," he said, pressing his face into Dan's hair. "You can do more."

His heart raced when he heard Dan say the words 'this won’t be forever.' That’s what Phil wanted to hear: that it would end, that someday he wouldn't have to kiss his boyfriend goodbye knowing he was off to sleep with another man.

Dan could feel Phil's heart beat against him, feel it speed up, and it made him feel sad, how much this obviously got to Phil. He knew it did, but feeling Phil’s heart rate increase at the mere mention of him leaving his work behind one day made him feel immensely guilty.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I know it must be hard. That's one reason why I was so... resistant to start with. No one should have to see their partner go off and do what I do. It isn't fair, and I’m sorry,"  He held Phil more tightly, almost scared he would leave. But he knew by now he wasn't going anywhere.

"You don't have to do it anymore though. If you quit then that would be it, you’d be done with that place. I'd support you and help you find a job, or get you an education, or whatever," Phil said a bit rushed, holding tightly to Dan and keeping his face pressed into his hair. "I'm sorry I got worked up, it's just… hard to do all of this sometimes.” He kissed his head a few times and patted down his hair, hoping he didn't upset the younger boy too much.

Dan shook his head but stayed close and cuddled up to Phil.

"No, it's not that simple. I mean, I have to be independent. I can't just, not be. I need to be. And I hate it there, but I feel like it's kind of what I deserve. I dunno, I can't explain it. You can get addicted to bad feelings, especially when you’re enveloped in them for way too long. I hate it, but it's my life. If I left, I don't know what would happen to me. I feel like I would disappear," Dan spoke quickly but quietly and clung onto Phil. "Don't let me disappear."

"You wouldn't disappear. You’re alright. I've got you," Phil said, nuzzling Dan's hair. "I won’t let you disappear," he whispered lovingly.

He felt so sad. Dan said it's not simple, but it could be if he let himself rely on Phil. But after so long of being in the dark, the light is probably too much to bear. He would have to continue to take this slowly.

"What about taking only one customer a night? You're still supporting yourself and bringing in an income. It's just easier on you, then."

"But I would bring in less, then," Dan said. "I guess maybe... I don't really need as much as I get. I overwork because if I get a lot of money, it feels like it’s more worth what I do. But I mean, I guess I could have one... but my boss wouldn't like that, cause then he loses some too, and I'm his top worker. He would get mad."

"You would get home earlier, though, and you’d get more time with me" Phil said, trying to make the idea sound more appealing. "What would he do if you started bringing in less money?"

"He might fire me. Well, no. He would probably punish me by making sure I got nasty customers and stuff. I'm not sure. That's what he does if I come to work marked by a previous client. He likes to use stuff like that to keep us in line. Remember the guy who made me do everything in front of everyone? When I called for you? That was one of his punishments. My boss suggested me for it." He sighed. "It's irritating."

Phil sighed. Dan was humiliated in front of so many people over a few marks.

"I just don’t want you to hurt anymore," Phil said in a voice that was almost like a child’s.

All he wanted was for the boy he loved so much to be free, not bought and sold to strangers who just want to act out a painful kink on the young, delicate boy.

"You don’t deserve to be punished."

"I think that um, that time... was him too. He told me I had to take the house call with a smirk, and he told me to have fun. He never says that. And when I got back to work, he asked me if I was going to be more compliant, so he is capable of pretty nasty shit." Dan shuddered. "Not really best boss of the year material."

He hated talking about that, but it had been on his mind for a little bit so he wanted to voice it.

"Dan," Phil whined, holding tightly onto Dan. It ticked him off knowing that he was put into harm’s way by his boss. "You don't deserve that. You've done nothing wrong. This is what I mean. I don’t want you to have to put up with that. You shouldn’t have to worry about staying in line to avoid getting abused. That's not how things should work."

"I know, it's okay, we’ll find a way, okay? We can sort it out. Maybe I can drop to one a night. I can maybe just tell him I'm getting more and give him a hypothetical percentage. So out of my one client, I’ll give my boss double his share or something." Dan was thinking out loud here; he didn't like that Phil sounded upset. "It's okay, don't be upset."

Phil made an irritated sigh. It wasn't okay, but there was nothing he could do at the moment. “It's just not right, ya know?"

"Hmm." Dan knew it wasn't right because Phil told him so, but before Phil, Dan accepted this as normal. "I'm sorry, I love you, okay? It will all work out." He kissed Phil’s cheek again.

Phil closed his eyes as Dan kissed him, then he opened them again to find Dan's lips and kiss him there.

"I love you too.That's why I worry about you: it scares me"

"I know. It scares me too. Every time I go to work I’m scared; I just pretend I'm not,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING DAN TOPS! oh i guess its too late for a warning now.... sass master supreme here....  
> let's count how many readers we lose this week cause Dan topped.  
> *waggles eyebrows* chapter 38 next week.
> 
> Pre warning: B has been having a lot of medical issues lately and her and I need to rewrite a part of chapter 41, so yeah, hopefully nothing happens, but we MAY need to take a week or 2 off until she is okay again. I hope this doesn't happen but just giving you a heads up that there are medical emergencies going on. (it wont be for too long, and i 100% promise that cwm is still going to be finished, im banking on the last chapter being chapter 51 give or take~)


	38. Seduction Changed to Panic and Nausea

A couple weeks later, just as Dan was about to head off to work as usual, Phil followed him to the door, wrapping his arms around his waist. He liked it better now that Dan only had one customer. He was home so much earlier and, although he was bringing in less money, Dan usually came home more relaxed. Phil gave Dan a couple kisses.

"Come home safely," Phil said softly against Dan's lips.

Dan nodded into the kiss.

"Mhm, I will. See you soon, okay?" He headed out and was soon at work, happy to only have to work with one customer tonight. He would deal with his boss later; now he just wanted to hurry his night along so he could go home to Phil, who would be waiting for him. That thought made him smile. It didn’t take long for someone to show interest in him, and with some of Dan's flirtatious smiles and little suggestive comments, it didn't take long at all for them to move into the back room. Dan began going through the motions for this stranger to line his wallet.

It was all normal until they were naked and the man pulled a small packet out of his jeans pocket on the floor. Dan was about to tell him that they had lube and he didn't use clients’ products when he looked closer at the packet and realized: it wasn't lube. Dan's heart began to race. He didn't do drugs. He hated them, and with good reason. He had taken them once, and it hadn't ended well.

"Grey, I want you to take this with me, okay? It’ll make it better, and you want to please your clients, don't you? You don't want me to complain to your boss, do you?"

Dan swallowed anxiously, trying to play it off at first.

"Oh, come on, baby, I can make this great for you without drugs."

But the man wouldn't listen; he was persistent.

To start with, he set up a line on Dan's stomach, then proceeded to snort it off his skin before grinning and then setting a bigger line on his own stomach.

"Go on, baby, you know what to do." Dan did know what to do, but he didn’t want to do it. He also knew he couldn't afford his boss getting angry--he couldn't deal with another night like the last time he did--so he did it.

The man smiled and then started kissing his neck and chest. Things progressed and Dan felt fine to start with, but then he soon started feeling weird. Things were moving quickly and slowly at the same time. He heard the man telling him to calm down, but he was fucking him and didn't stop or slow down to let him calm down.

"No, I don't like it," Dan said sounding scared, but he was met with fingers shoved into his mouth and then a hand over it. He swallowed quickly as if trying to protest before it dawned on him that he had just swallowed some kind of pill.

He zoned out at this point, letting the client do whatever he wanted, which didn't feel too extreme. At least, he didn't think it was; he couldn't really feel anything. Time itself seemed to be skipping around because the next thing Dan knew, he was sitting naked in the middle of the floor alone, client long gone, the room was spinning, and all the colors looked weird.

"Phil?" Dan muttered, scared and not knowing what to do. He looked around the room frantically as it felt like the walls were closing in.

Phil was still at home.

_Dan should be done soon_ , Phil thought, looking at his watch.

Normally he just stayed home and waited, but as this was Dan's last night of the week, Phil wanted to go pick him up. He smiled to himself and stood up, putting his shoes and jacket on and heading out the door. Dan would be happy to see him.

Back at the club, Dan was confused. He pulled his clothes on and walked out into the main area of the club. The music was loud and it looked like everyone’s faces were blending together. He averted his eyes from everyone, silently panicking as his heart rate increased. He was aiming for the front door, but he walked into someone and jumped.

"Shit," he muttered. He tried to step away, but the person held his wrist.

"Wow, man, are you okay? You feel kinda clammy. Are you having a bad trip?"

Dan blinked then replied, delayed.

"Um, no, I just, no, I'm fine. I need to go."

Dan looked at the guy who was smirking at him, but the room was spinning and so he fell against the man. Dan didn't protest as the man pulled him along to a darker part of the club against the far corner of the stage. He was objecting in his head, but words wouldn't come out.

"Coming out here, looking all fucked and wasted… you're asking for it. I don't usually get this opportunity so I'm not gonna let it go to waste."

Dan was confused, but he felt a hand slip under his pants. There was a bright light in the corner and Dan struggled to figure out what it was, but he felt cold and then realized he had no pants on.

"Hey, no, stop," he mumbled, too quiet to be effective.

"Bless him, he's trying to talk," he heard the man say before pushing his face down on the stage so his ass was against the stranger’s crotch.

Dan was staring at nothing, zoned out and making no effort to fight. Flashbacks raced through his mind: the first night, and then the worst night, both of which were bad, but in different ways. He felt elements of both, but he was too stoned to care. He felt a vague pain somewhere far away and then movement, but his body wouldn't let him respond to it, this stranger fucking him without consent. He suddenly got scared, entirely forgetting what was physically happening because of what was scaring him inside his head.

"I don't want to disappear," Dan muttered as his fears turned into warped delusions in his mind.

Phil waited outside for a little bit, waiting for Dan to come outside. When he didn't, Phil went inside. He hadn't been waiting for that long. He walked over to the bar and talked to Claire.

"Grey hasn't left yet, has he?" he asked.

"Nah, I wasn't paying attention. He usually says bye to me, though, so he might still be in the back," she replied.

Phil smiled and nodded, stepping over to the booths and chairs. Everyone here seemed to be looking for sex or discussing sex. Phil sat uncomfortably, feeling out of place, when he noticed two people having sex on the side of the stage. Suddenly, his stomach dropped when he recognized the bottom as his Dan. Someone was having sex with him on the edge of the stage. Phil tried his best at first not to get up and interfere, but he soon recognized that something was off about Dan; he wasn’t really there, his body seemed limp, and his eyes were vacant. Phil's heart raced with fear and he didn’t waste any more time. He ran over and pushed the man away.

"Get off of him!" Phil wasn’t that strong, but he was in such a panic he actually managed to throw the guy to the floor. Phil quickly turned to Dan, touching his face.

"Dan? Dan, are you alright?" Phil asked a bit frantically. He was relieved Dan was breathing and had a pulse, albeit an irregular one. Phil turned back to the man who was now standing up and adjusting himself. Phil gave him a look that could kill someone.

"Pay him!" Phil shouted, now eye-level with the man.

Dan thought he heard Phil's voice, but knew it couldn't be. He tried to say something, but his voice wasn't working. Instead, he just made a small noise and looked around a little frantically. He then let his mind engulf him again and returned to being still.

The man looked a little disgruntled, but laughed.

"What, really? Pay that? Look at it! It's a glorified blow up doll right now. He won’t even remember this. I'm not paying for that, and I'm not done with it either."

Phil kneed the man in the stomach.

"Pay him! You touched him, so pay him!" Phil was shouting and causing a scene that would probably get him kicked out, but right now he didn’t care. The man kept referring to Dan as an it instead of as a human being and it only angered Phil more.

"Why do you care?" the man asked, holding his stomach. "Jesus, fine! Here, you slut," he spat as he threw the money at Dan. Most of it fell on the floor as Dan made no effort to move.

"Next time, don't practically overdose so you can actually be a good fuck," he said to the barely-conscious Dan before glaring at Phil. "Gonna get your slut out of here? Are you his pimp or something?"

"Do I look like I'm his fucking pimp!?" That was the second time since Phil had met Dan that someone had called him Dan’s pimp. "Go," Phil said in a stern voice.

He kept guarding Dan until the man left and the state of the club returned to normal. Surprisingly, no one came out to yell at Phil. He kneeled down next to Dan to check his pulse again, pulled up his pants, and grabbed the money off the floor. He put it in Dan's pocket. Then he stood up and looked over Dan, brushing his hair out of his face.

"You're okay. I've got you. Come on, up. Let's go home." Phil put Dan's arm over his shoulder and pulled him up, making their way toward the door.

"Don't let me disappear," Dan muttered as he went with Phil. He was so far gone that he could have been walking out with anyone, but Dan recognized Phil by his warm and familiar scent even if he couldn't focus on his face. Dan didn't say anything else for a while. He just stared into space and half stumbled along with Phil.

"It's too quiet," Dan muttered when they got outside, the sudden noise level change scaring him. “Don’t let me disappear again,” he muttered for the second time.

Phil’s heart tightened.

"You're safe, Dan. We’re outside." He wasn’t sure if Dan could understand or even hear him.

Phil called a taxi and tried to maneuver Dan into the back of the vehicle. Then he sat down next to him. Dan was reasonably quiet and still for most of the taxi ride, jumping occasionally or muttering incoherent things as his brain went in weird directions and time seemed to move quickly and slowly at the same time.

Phil brought Dan home safely. It scared him thinking what would have happened if he had never showed up. He brought Dan to the bathroom, setting him gently into the tub and pulling his clothing off. Dan had bruises on him from where he was pushed against the stage. Phil plugged the bathtub and let the water start to run, filling up slowly.

"What's happening? What, why am I, where?" Dan sputtered, rushed. "I'm home, okay? Please don't make me take anything else. I don't like it."

Dan closed his eyes and tried to focus on his heartbeat, something to keep him grounded and out of his world of hallucinations. He kept seeing weird things--Phil dead, Phil hitting him, Phil's face morphing into other things--but he knew none of it was real.

Phil looked at Dan, frowning.

"What did he give you?" he asked, grabbing the poofy sponge and dipping it in the water. The younger boy was covered in sweat. "Dan, look at me," Phil said, trying to see if Dan was responsive to his voice.

Dan didn't look straight away; he heard Phil, but he sounded far away. After about a minute, he turned to Phil.

"Um, coke and then ecstasy, I think," he half mumbled. "Sleep," he muttered.

"You can't go to sleep," Phil said, bringing the sponge up around Dan's neck. "If you sleep, you might disappear," he said.

Phil was afraid right now that if he let Dan sleep, he wouldn't wake up. Phil didn't know anything about drugs. He wasn't sure how long it would be until Dan was okay, if he should give him something to drink, or if he should try to induce vomiting. He just didn’t know.

"What do I do?" Phil asked, his voice cracking as he tried to hold back tears. He didn’t want to do this anymore.

The sadness in Phil's voice brought him back for a moment, and although it didn’t last, Dan was himself again.

"I'm sorry," Dan said. "I'm sorry.” He pulled Phil closer, and although it wasn't comfortable, he hugged him over the side of the bath. "I didn't want to. He told me I had to or he would complain to my boss," he said against Phil. "And I got scared, then during sex he forced me to take the ecstasy. I'm sorry." Dan was crying a little bit now.

Phil wrapped his arms tightly around Dan.

"It’ll be okay," Phil said, letting himself cry a little and not caring if he got wet. He needed to hold onto Dan. "No one is going to hurt you here."

Phil was so scared. He held on more tightly to Dan to try and calm himself down. He didn’t know what to do or how to handle this. None of this would be happening if Dan had just quit, or if Phil never went to that back room with Dan that first night. He didn’t regret the choice he made, but sometimes he let the thought slip about how if not for that night, he wouldn’t have to worry every week about where his boyfriend was going, who was sleeping with him, or whether or not he would get home safely. But then, Phil would remember how alone he would be, how Dan filled that space of belonging somewhere that no one else had been able to fill since his family passed away. Phil turned his face and gave Dan a kiss on the side of his face.

"I love you. I'll make this better, okay?" Phil said softly, not even sure if Dan was still understanding him.

"It was like the first time," Dan muttered into Phil's shoulder. He was shuddering and didn't know why. "They forced me to take drugs that time because I was too tense. My boss said I had to. He told me it would make me not feel anything. So I did, and then I just was out of it. Apart from that I could tell it hurt, and I could tell they were laughing. So I don't take drugs. Ever. Why did they make me?" Dan asked, sounding broken and looking at Phil. "I was doing okay. Why make me take drugs?"

"I don't know, love," Phil responded sadly. He felt so bad for Dan; the first time he had sex, he was sold and forced to take drugs so he couldn’t control himself, yet could feel everything. "Do you hurt right now? Was he rough with you?" Phil asked, still scared.

"Don't know," Dan muttered. "Can't feel." But as he finished saying this, Dan’s hand went to his hip and ran over the bruises, so he must have been slightly aware. "You're gonna leave, aren't you? I can feel it; you regret me." Tears slipped down Dan's cheeks. "I would, if I were you."

Dan shuddered randomly and his eyes darted around the room again as the drugs started to pull him back into a scary place.

Phil pulled away to put his hands on Dan's face and forced Dan to look at him. "I'm not leaving you," Phil said, his voice surprisingly steady. "You're my family now," he added a bit more quietly.

Phil looked over Dan's body and saw a cut hidden under the boy’s arms, along his ribs. Phil moved Dan's arm up more to inspect the cut. It was red but not bleeding. Phil ran the sponge over it.

"Does that hurt?"

Dan hissed a little and looked confused. He turned and looked at the area.

"I don't know where that came from," he stated blankly before standing up quickly and nearly falling. "I want out of here. I don't like the water. It's wrong," he said, making no sense.

Phil was startled at first when Dan stood up so quickly. He hadn't had a chance to get to Dan's hair and wash the sweat out of there, but at least he’s gotten most of it off Dan’s body.

"Alright, I'll get you out," Phil said, standing up and putting his hands under Dan's arms as he guided him out of the tub like he was a little kid. "Sit and I'll get you a towel," Phil said, guiding Dan back to the ground. He was afraid if he walked away, Dan would fall over and hit his head.

"No, I'm fine," Dan said a little aggressively. In his mind, it felt like Phil was laughing at him, as if he were a child with no ability to look after himself.

Dan started walking towards the towel cupboard, but he felt dizzy. He stopped and leaned against the wall, breathing deeply.

"Yes, I'm sore," he answered Phil’s question from a while ago. Dan was able to feel more now that he was walking.

Phil frowned.

"Please let me help you," Phil said, his voice shaking. He needed to help Dan and he didn't want to be pushed away. He wanted to feel like he could help and make things better, not useless, sitting back and watching Dan struggle.

Dan nodded, accepting defeat. He hated hearing Phil sound sad, too.

"I've ruined your night, I'm sorry," he said, the rational side of Dan making another appearance. "I feel like I'm here right now and then I disappear again. I'm sorry. You don't deserve this."

He stood still, making no further effort to move around without Phil close. He knew it was not rational to risk hurting himself. He was just being too stubborn.

Phil moved closer to Dan, grabbing a towel out of the cupboard. He dried Dan off and then wrapped the towel around him.

"I'm just glad I have you home and safe now," Phil said softly. "This wasn’t your fault, okay?" Phil didn’t blame Dan for the drugs; that was because someone else made Dan take them and he feared punishment.

But, it was Dan's fault for staying at the club, no matter how many times Phil had told him to quit. Somewhere, Dan had a tiny bit of pride that refused to let him just accept someone else's help.

"Wanna hold on to me and I'll help you back to the bedroom?"

Dan nodded and wordlessly leaned against Phil. He let Phil lead him to the bedroom, where he sat down and took a few deep breaths.

"My heart rate is all fucked and I keep seeing shit and I don't like it. Make it stop, please?" he begged Phil, even though he knew Phil couldn't do anything.

Phil frowned again, wishing he could.

"We just need to wait for it to wear off, okay?" Phil said calmly. He wasn’t sure if that was really what would make it stop, but he didn’t know what else to do for him.

Phil got up and got Dan a pair of underwear with some sweatpants and a shirt. Phil wasn’t going to let Dan sleep yet, but he wanted him to be warm and comfortable. He kneeled next to Dan and started helping him put the clothing on.

"Anything you need from me?" Phil asked as he got Dan's shirt over his head.

"Just stay," Dan said, silently crying, scared.

Dan hated not being in control like this. He could handle giving control up at work, but being out of control of his own body and mind at home was scaring him more than the events of earlier that night.

"I'm not going anywhere," Phil said, looking directly at Dan.

Phil got up and changed his own clothing, his shirt wet from when he hugged Dan. Once dry again, Phil went back over to Dan.

"I can't let you go to sleep," Phil said a bit sadly. He was tired himself, but he was too afraid to let Dan sleep. He kissed Dan's cheek. "But we can cuddle."

"I want to sleep. Then I won’t see things. I can't see right, Phil. It's scary." Dan sniffed a little and pulled Phil over to him, but then moved away again for a moment before moving back closer again. He was suspicious of everything but was trying not to seem it.

Phil moved them more into the bed, lying Dan down. Phil crawled next to him and put his arms around him, tucking Dan closer to his chest.

"I'm sorry, Dan," Phil said softly. He wanted this to end, all of it; he wanted the club to not exist, nothing outside of this bed to exist. "I'm scared," Phil whispered, his voice faltering a little.

Now that he was laying down, Phil was even more tired, but he had to stay up for Dan.

"What is scaring you exactly though?" Dan said quietly, closing his eyes so he didn't see anything. He focused on trying to breathe evenly and stopping his heart from racing irregularly.

"I could have lost you tonight if I hadn’t come to pick you up. What if you never got back home to me?" Phil said, pressing his face into Dan's hair.

"Mhm, but you didn't lose me. You came and got me. You're perfect. I think that guy would have taken me with him if you weren't there... or passed me onto another person," Dan trailed off, shuddering.

"I don't know what to do to make you feel better. You're in pain, and I don't know what to do."

"I'm fine. I'm not in pain," Dan lied. "Just sleepy." He was drifting. He knew he wasn't allowed to, but it was so quiet and calm when he slept.

Phil knew Dan was lying, but he appreciated that Dan wanted to comfort him.

"I'm glad I got you, too. It's just scary to think about what could have happened. I'm still shaken up."

"Stuff did happen," Dan mumbled, half asleep, and he made an irritated noise.

"Even more could have happened. I'm just glad I have you now" Phil said, tightening his arms carefully so he didn’t squeeze Dan too tightly. "Don't sleep," Phil said, moving Dan a bit to wake him up.

"Sleep is good. Shh, Dan's sleeping."

"Hey, no, I said you can't sleep," Phil said and yawned, his own tiredness weighing heavily on him. "You shouldn't sleep until the drugs wear off more."

Suddenly, Dan's mood seemed to switch inside his head with no apparent trigger. His eyes snapped open, going from almost asleep to irritated in a few seconds.

"It's so fucking hot," he said angrily. He threw the covers back and yanked his clothes off, making irritated sounds. "I'm fucking burning. Off, now, hot," he muttered and continued to pull at his clothes until he was naked again, breathing heavily from getting angry.

Phil pulled back, letting Dan throw his clothing off.

"Better?" Phil asked, letting Dan sit naked for a moment and waiting for him to come back to him, if Dan wanted. He didn't want to make Dan even hotter with his body heat.

"Want me to get you an ice pack?" Phil asked, moving to get up.

Dan just shook his head, making it unclear what question he was responding to. He brought his knees up and lay on top of the covers in the fetal position, staring into space again.

Phil sat up and moved closer to Dan, gently touching the younger boy’s hair.

"It'll pass," Phil said, not really knowing how long that would take, but wanting to help Dan relax. "You’re strong. You can make it through this," Phil said and touched Dan's forehead, trying to gauge his temperature.

Dan closed his eyes and muttered, "m'not," as he tried and failed to block all the stuff in his mind, flashbacks: mainly his Dad yelling at him, calling him weak-willed, disgusting, and hell-bound.

"I turned into everything he accused me of being."

"Huh? Who?" Phil asked. He wanted to argue at first and tell Dan how brave he was.

"Him," Dan said simply, not elaborating. "I left to prove him wrong, and all I have done is turn into the messy, filthy thing he said I was."

"Oh," Phil said, understanding. The way Dan had said it made it clear who he was thinking of. "Well, he’s wrong. Whatever he said about you is wrong."

"No," Dan said and reached an arm out, searching for Phil. "He's right, but when I am with you, I feel like he's wrong... but only then." He sighed. Dan was relaxing a little, starting to come down a bit. "Sorry for acting insane tonight."

"Because when you're with me, you’re actually yourself. That's why he's wrong." Phil put his arm in front of Dan so he could hold onto it. "This wasn't your fault. I don't blame you for this."

Dan held Phil's arm with both hands and hugged it against his chest. "I love you," he said softly.

Phil ran his hands through Dan's hair softly, some of the strands sticking together from his sweat.

"I love you too," he replied gently back.

Dan crawled closer to Phil and pulled a sheet up over himself, cuddling against Phil's side. He felt upset and wanted to be close to Phil.

"At the stage, that man, it was in front of people. That makes me feel sick. I hate stuff happening in front of people, nameless strangers laughing and jeering. It's like the first time, but never as bad as the first time. I still remember it all so clearly, even though I was drugged: the things they all yelled as they watched, laughing and pointing and touching me, some jerking off to the young virgin getting fucked for the first time. I cried because it hurt so badly and they acted like that was an achievement for the man fucking me, like it was the goal to break me. I hated having all their hands on me, pulling at me, at my hair." He pressed his face into Phil's neck. "I'm sorry. I’m replacing that memory with, with us--when you gave me a first--but tonight that man brought it back into my mind and the drugs are keeping it there."

Dan was having a fairly lucid moment, but was unaware that he was babbling all of this. His thoughts and spoken words were getting confused in his head until he was thinking what he was meant to be speaking and speaking what he was meant to be thinking.

Phil felt sick. He had a visual to go with the story because Phil had seen Dan get taken by a stranger in front of him. But that had been Dan's first time ever, not knowing anything of the world, when that had happened. Although, as Dan said, Phil was replacing the memories, they were still there in the back of Dan’s mind and they could come back. Phil wrapped his arms tightly around Dan.

"I'm so sorry that happened, Dan," Phil said, flinching just thinking about it.

He wished he had known Dan three years earlier. Then Phil wouldn't have been so lonely, Dan would have never gone to the club, and Phil wouldn’t now be trying to fix what shouldn’t have been broken in the first place.

"You're not there anymore. You're safe at home with me." Phil nuzzled Dan's hair.

Dan took a shaky breath and nodded.

"I'm glad I have a home now. It got better when you moved in. And I'm glad I didn't have to live at the club forever. That was the worst time," he said softly and kissed Phil's neck once more to calm himself.

Dan was still speaking his thoughts aloud but was too far gone to care. He hadn’t told Phil everything about his past, partially because it just hadn't come up, but also because he didn't want to upset Phil more than he already had. But right now, Dan wasn't shielding his words and was just saying what was on his mind.

"I never called my old apartment home. This is home, with you," Phil said, gently returning the gesture by kissing the top of Dan's head. "You lived at the club?" Phil asked.

He shouldn’t have been asking anything. Phil knew when he asked questions, he got a lot more than he bargained for, but it slipped out. Although now, Phil realized it was kind of obvious Dan would have lived there for some time until he could actually afford an apartment.

"Mhm," Dan said quietly. "For about six months or so. I had no where else to go. To start with, I had no money, but my boss didn't care. He told me he had plenty of money and that wasn't how he wanted paying." Dan paused for a moment. "I got used to it; it was just life. I would work a full shift then finally fall asleep, only to have my boss crawl into my bed. I just did as I was told, or else I wouldn't have anywhere to live." Dan was mumbling a little. "More often than not, he didn't ask. He would just wake me up roughly, move me how he wanted, fuck me, and leave. It was the worst after a rough night, and I swore he did it on purpose... if I said no, he would punish me. He’s one of the only people to ever have used the cage on me." He squeezed Phil more tightly. "But then I got gutsy enough to leave, to get this place where I could sleep and let my body heal properly. It felt like heaven, like I had won the lottery or something." Dan sighed. "See, that’s it. That was happiness for me before you turned up: being able to sleep through a night without being hurt by someone. It took me a while to see that that isn't what happiness looks like."

Phil felt like crying; he was so angry and so upset. He squeezed Dan more tightly, probably hurting him a little, but the whole situation just infuriated Phil. Dan was a kind and wonderful human being. Phil didn’t think he had ever seen Dan hurt even a spider. So why did everyone want to hurt him? And then there was the cage. Phil remembered it and how it disgusted him that someone would get enjoyment out of degrading Dan with a cage. Phil hated it: the cage, Dan's boss, the club, Dan's parents, and anyone and everyone that ever hurt Dan. Happiness is what happens when something better than your normal happens. Dan's normal was at such a low point that just a simple full night sleep without fear is what made him happy. All of that surrounded Dan at such a young age when his brain was still developing and he was learning about the world.

None of Dan’s behavior since they had met was a surprise anymore. How was Dan supposed to react when it was the first time in his life someone actually wanted him to want it, genuinely, not just the show of want that Dan put on for everyone?

"I'm so sorry, love," Phil whispered, wishing he could just erase what had happened to Dan and replace every bad memory with something good.

"It's fine," Dan said softly. “You fixed it. You made me get it, you made me understand what happiness is. When I think about happiness, I see you. You are my definition of happiness."

Dan was starting to come down now. He had no concept of how much time had passed, but by based on how tired he felt and the fact that it was partially light outside, Dan could see it had been quite a while.

"I'm keeping you from sleep," he stated. "I'm sorry."

Phil smiled. Dan was not easy to love; there was a lot of hurt and jealousy. But the fact that Phil made this sweet boy’s life better and was able to make him happy made it all worth while.

"Actually, I'm keeping you from sleep. I'm the one who said you aren't allowed to sleep," Phil said, loosening his arms around Dan to relax more into him.

"Technically true," Dan said, smiling a little. "I'm cold," he added. "Can we sleep now? I feel more here and my heart feels less crazy."

Phil moved, sitting up and propping himself over Dan. His hand pressed against Dan's forehead; he didn’t feel too hot anymore. Phil moved his hand down to Dan's neck, letting two fingers find his pulse. His heartbeat was returning to normal; it wasn't as fast and irregular as it was before. Phil nodded.

"Yeah, we can sleep," he said, grabbing the blankets. He saw Dan's clothing tossed across the room from when Dan threw his fit. "Want me to grab your underwear or are you fine sleeping naked?" Phil asked, pulling the blankets up to cover Dan. Phil himself was still sitting up in case Dan needed something before going to sleep.

"Underwear. I wanna cover up because I can, because I have the choice." Dan sat up and reached out to grab his underwear. He pulled them on and lay down again, making grabby hands at Phil.

Phil smiled and laid down next to Dan, snuggling up with him.

"You made it through. See, you're strong," Phil said, his eyes closing as he felt the extent of how tired he really was weighing on him.

"Because of you; you make me strong," he muttered. "Sleeping," he added. Then without any further thought, he fell deeply asleep against Phil, thinking he could do tomorrow.

For now, Dan was safe and warm and with Phil, away from the people who hurt him.

Phil fell asleep almost instantly; he liked holding Dan while sleeping. If he could hold Dan in his arms, he knew no one could hurt him.

As expected, Phil woke up first--Dan was so out of it last night. Phil could feel Dan breathing as his stomach moved up and down. He moved his hand to check Dan's pulse, which felt normal. Phil smiled and kissed Dan’s forehead, stretching as he worked his way to get out of bed. He padded to the kitchen and made a pot of coffee. Phil thought about making a cup for Dan, but then decided he would let Dan sleep for a bit longer. He took his coffee back to the bedroom and sat next to Dan, opening up his laptop and browsing the internet as he passed the time. Every 30 minutes or whenever Dan was particularly quiet, Phil would touch his neck to feel his pulse.

When it was almost 2pm, Phil thought it would be a good idea to wake him up. He closed his computer and set it on the nightstand so he could cuddle up next to Dan again.

"Baby, it's time to wake up," Phil said kissing Dan's face.

Dan woke up with a start, but could feel Phil kissing his face and quickly relaxed. Right now, he couldn't remember anything and it felt like a normal day.

"Morning," Dan said and turned a little to kiss Phil, but he winced as he rolled onto the cut under his arm. "Ouch," he said, sounding confused.

"You ok?" Phil asked in a concerned voice.

He wasn't sure if Dan remembered what had happened, or what the pain from the night before was like for the younger boy. Last night, he didn’t seem to feel much of anything.

Dan nodded.

"Just sore everywhere?" Dan said with kind of a question in his tone. He sat up and looked at the cut under him arm. "What? How?" He looked at Phil, hoping he could explain because right now Dan was very much confused.

"I don't know how you got that," Phil said, gently touching the cut. He looked at Dan with sad eyes, feeling guilty that he had to tell Dan what happened. "You don't remember last night?" Phil said softly. "It wasn't me, you were drugged at work. I got you though, you're safe now."

Dan slowly nodded, remembering a little.

"I don't know if I want to remember properly... I have bits in my mind though. I'm sorry, I remember being a mess last night and keeping you awake, telling you too much..." He leaned up and kissed Phil's cheek. "Being drugged sucks ‘cause I couldn't feel it until now, and now I'm sore." He made a sulking face. "I'm sorry."

Phil nodded; he rather Dan not remember a lot of it, too.

"You're home and safe and that’s what matters," Phil said smiling. "Want me to get you coffee? I made a pot already."

Dan nodded then screwed his face up.

"Against the stage," he said simply, showing that he was starting to remember some more. "Coffee sounds nice, please."

Phil frowned; he still hated that someone had him against the stage.

"I'll be right back," Phil said, getting up and pouring Dan some coffee. He put in the appropriate amount of sugar and cream that Dan liked and came back into the room, handing Dan his coffee. "I'll get you anything you need, ok? Don't try and get up too fast."

"You're too nice," Dan said softly and took his coffee, sipping it and making a contented noise. "Mmm, thanks."

He patted the spot next to him, wanting Phil closer. Phil sat next to Dan, putting his arm around him.

"I think you deserve nice; nice is good," Phil said kissing Dan's cheek.  

He wanted to talk to Dan today about getting a job out of prostitution, but right now things were calm and he didn’t want to disrupt that or bother Dan with it after he had just woken up.

Dan cuddled close to Phil, continuing to sip at his coffee.

"Thank you," Dan said and kissed his cheek. "I don't think I am going to be much use today. I feel really awful," he said as he leaned against Phil.

Phil caressed Dan's arm gently.

"You don't need to be anything, alright? You can do whatever you want now." He let Dan lean against him.

There was no way Phil could confront Dan about getting a job now; he needed to relax after last night. It still bothered him even thinking slightly about the club: Dan's boss, the clients, everywhere was filthy, and Dan didn’t belong there.

Dan just nodded. When he finished his coffee, he sat up more and tried to act more awake, more okay.

"I'm fine, I'm okay," Dan said. He smiled, but it was a little false, a little pushed. "I don't want to be boring for you," he said quietly.

"Hm? You're never boring to me," Phil said, nuzzling Dan's cheek, "You don't have to pretend things don't hurt. It doesn’t make you weak," Phil whispered.

Dan had smiled at him, but Phil could see though that. He knew the difference between that and Dan's real smile by now.

Dan nodded.

"I can't lie to you, it's not fair. You see through me," Dan said, slouching down a little.

Phil kissed Dan's head.

"You shouldn't lie to me anyway, even if I couldn’t see through it. That's trust, baby," Phil said.

He didn’t actually mind it, but he wanted Dan to trust him and not lie. He could keep secrets and not tell Phil things, but lying shouldn’t happen between them. Not after everything they've been through together.

"Not like lie lie, but tell you I feel okay when I don't. Things like that to stop you from worrying about me." He kissed Phil's cheek. "I wouldn't lie lie."

Phil smiled as Dan kissed him.

"Yeah, that's good, I wouldn’t lie to you either," he said, snuggling down. "Let's just not move today, ok?" Phil said softly.

This was going to end. He had to push Dan harder to find a new job. They couldn’t continue living like this with them both worrying for Dan's life every time he went to work, but Phil loved Dan far too much to ever leave. He kissed Dan's cheek a couple times, then his lips.

"I love you, ok? Don't you ever forget that."

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> worse than the incident? I don't think so, just a lot more emotional.  
> if you have any questions about anything, or anything that wasn't clear, cause i know dan is not the best at explaining things when he is in this state. just ask and i'll be happy to make any clarifications for you


	39. His Boyfriend

 

Throughout the rest of the week, Phil tried talking to Dan about leaving the club, but to no avail. Every time he brought it up, Dan would shut down and refuse to speak. Phil raised his voice once, but Dan instantly broke down crying. That was when Phil decided to give it a rest. Dan seemed okay again, so for now, Phil would go back to waiting. Things were bad at work, but still manageable. For now, they were still okay.

Phil was waiting at home for Dan, lounging in bed reading. He really wished Dan was home already. Phil wanted to hold him and touch him, feel Dan's warm, light tan skin against Phil's soft paleness, revel in the touch of Dan’s lips against his own, how those lips would work lower over his chest... Phil dragged his hand over his own chest, shuddering slightly. And then, Dan's lips would find their way lower. Phil's hand went over his crotch, gently massaging himself through his sweatpants. It had been a long time since he’d masturbated. With Dan around, he never needed to or wanted to anymore. But right now, he found himself with Dan away and himself with a hard on that he seemed to be encouraging with his thoughts and actions. He took a sharp breath and started stroking himself, letting out soft moans and thinking of Dan, beautiful Dan, and his hands on him.

"Mmm, god, Dan," Phil said audibly, even though the younger boy wasn't there.

Phil continued his movement, letting himself moan as much as he wanted without shame; he wasn't expecting Dan home for another three hours. Phil gasped, feeling the tightness in his stomach as he got closer. Suddenly, he heard the front door open.

"What? Shit," Phil gasped, sitting up and throwing his legs over the side of the bed.

He had meant to get up and pull his pants up, but he couldn’t stop. He was too close, and Dan would see he was hard through his sweatpants anyway. He bit his lip to stop himself from making more moans as he tried to finish before Dan walked into the bedroom.

Dan had had a short night at work and was happy to be home early. Upon arrival, he noticed Phil wasn't in the lounge.

"Phil?" he called and made his way to their room. It was cold; maybe Phil was reading in bed or something.

He opened the door, not bothering to knock because they never did. He was met by a rather exposed Phil, hand wrapped around his cock and face flushed.

"Oh," Dan breathed out.

Tell-tale signs of a smirk played at the corner of Dan’s lips as his eyes ran over his exposed boyfriend. He looked so good like that, even more so because this interaction was probably not Phil's intention; Dan had caught him.

Phil blushed.

"Dan, no," Phil stammered, looking away. He didn't want Dan to catch him like this, all needy and so desperately needing release.

Dan just smiled slightly and wordlessly knelt on the floor in front of Phil and tilted his own head back, opening his mouth and waiting for Phil to look at him. He walked in on Phil doing this alone, and he wanted it to continue that way. Still, Dan wanted to be a part of it and do his job as Phil's partner, so he was ready to catch everything from Phil's release. Dan didn't speak, just waited for a reaction from Phil as he licked his lips and opened his mouth a little wider.

Phil's cheeks were pink and he turned his head slightly, looking back at Dan. He let out a soft moan seeing Dan with his mouth all open and ready. Dan was perfect.

"Mmm, Dan," Phil said softly, stroking himself again and looking at Dan.

He reached over to Dan and touched his hair, running his hands through it, but not bringing the younger boy’s face any closer to his cock. He let out more needy moans looking at Dan's beautiful eyes.

"Shit, Dan, I'm gonna come," Phil said, bringing his hand down to Dan's lips and gently touching them before his orgasm hit him.

His come landed mostly in Dan's open mouth, some of it getting on his cheek. Phil gasped and continued stroking himself more slowly, letting out soft residual moans as he worked himself down, his eyes still locked on Dan. Dan made a soft moan as Phil's come went into his mouth, eyes still locked on Phil.

When Phil seemed to have stopped coming, Dan quickly moved closer and closed his mouth around Phil's cock, wanting him to feel the warmth and wetness of his mouth as he came down. He didn't swallow yet, letting his mouth feel wetter than normal. Phil's cock slid easily in and out of his mouth as he slowly kept the actions going, looking at Phil all the while. He didn’t care that it was messy; he could taste him so intensely and he moaned a little around Phil’s slowly softening cock, come still on his cheek. If there was one thing his job had taught him, it was to not be afraid of getting messy.

Phil let out a whimper, the warmth and wetness feeling amazing. He moved his hand off his cock and gently touched Dan's chin where come was still dribbling down. He guided Dan's head back up.

"Open your mouth," Phil said, waiting as Dan did as he was told. Phil looked and could see his come sticking around the inside of Dan's mouth. It was amazingly hot how much Dan actually enjoyed doing this for Phil.

"Swallow," he ordered and gently pushed Dan's chin up to close his mouth. Dan did as he was told, letting Phil close his mouth and slowly swallowing everything, then licking his lips and swallowing again.

"I want the rest," Dan said, biting his lip before moving back to Phil's cock and licking over it. He collected what was left on his tongue and showed Phil again without being prompted, then swallowed again.

Dan then sat back on his heels and smirked a little, one hand at his face, using his thumb to push come from his cheeks and chin onto his tongue. Phil smiled gently, his breathing becoming regular.

"You're amazing," Phil said, leaning forward and kissing Dan's forehead.

"If you waited until I got home, I could have been more amazing," Dan teased and smiled at Phil. "Feel better now, baby?"

He stayed on the floor and placed his head on Phil's knee. Dan was turned on now as well, but was trying to ignore it.

Phil nodded and softly pat Dan's hair.

"Want me to make you feel good too?" Phil asked, his hands beginning to roam Dan's shoulders. "Get undressed."

Dan smiled and kissed Phil's knee before standing and taking off his clothes. He sat on the bed naked in front of Phil.

"I feel a little self-conscious because you just got off, so you're not turned on and I’m randomly naked." He giggled a little, but his hand was lightly running over his own length as he waited for Phil; their previous activities had turned him on quite a lot.

Phil laughed and leaned into Dan, giving him a kiss on the lips.

"I couldn't just leave you like this, could I?" Phil asked, reaching to gently stroke Dan's cock briefly before moving them to a more comfortable position in bed. Phil kissed Dan's neck as he started stroking him. "I may not be hard, but I'm turned on. I love pleasing you and hearing you moan from me touching you," Phil said in a low voice, flicking his tongue over Dan's soft skin.

Dan whimpered a little and rolled his hips up.

"I had every intention of it just being you that got off, but doing that for you turned me on so much. I loved that, how you acted, how you tasted," He rocked his hips a little. "Couldn't help but get hard."

Dan smiled a little and let out a deep breath, letting the feeling of Phil's hand on him become his focus. Phil smiled back.

"You are so cute, Dan," Phil said, giggling a little and moving his hand more quickly, his thumb moving across his slit each time. "I like the sounds you make," Phil purred in Dan's ear, letting his tongue glide gently under it.

"Not cute," Dan breathed out, keening into the feeling of Phil's hand and tongue as his legs naturally parted a little. "Mmmhh, Phil."

Dan lifted one hand to his own mouth and sucked on his fingers before lowering them under himself. Trying not to get in the way of Phil's hand pumping his cock, Dan ran his fingers across his own entrance. He had already been fucked once tonight, so there was still some residual lube left, and he easily slipped a finger inside himself.

"Fuck," he breathed out as he met Phil's eyes.

Phil lifted himself up more and looked down at Dan, taking in the sight of him fingering himself, his mouth hung open slightly. Phil looked back into Dan's eyes, staring at him intensely. He slowed his movements some and focused on moving his fingers perfectly across Dan’s tip.

Dan let out a shuddery breath and pushed his finger in deeply, up to the knuckle, moaning as he did so. No one else apart from Phil had ever bothered to get to know his body, so before Phil entered his life, Dan had learned himself perfectly. Knowing how to pleasure himself more than most people did was a method of coping. That coping mechanism now came in handy as his fingertip ran across his sweet spot inside himself, making him moan softly.

Phil kissed along Dan's jaw.

"Makin' yourself feel good, baby?" Phil asked, smiling and biting at Dan's skin, liking the sounds Dan was drawing from himself.

"Mmmh, mhm," Dan said as his cheeks went a little red, not with embarrassment, but as a response to the pleasure he was getting from both Phil and himself.

Dan lay back properly and rotated his hips a little to give himself better access to himself. He slipped a second finger inside, his mouth opening a little and a soft "uh" sound escaping from his parted lips.

Phil sat back, running his hand down Dan's chest and over his hips, watching Dan finger himself while Phil pleasured him with his hand. It was the most attractive sight he had ever seen. Phil hunched over and flicked his tongue over Dan's slit before leaning back over Dan's body and kissing his lips, slipping his tongue inside Dans open mouth.

Dan moaned when Phil's tongue ran over his slit and then again when his tongue entered his mouth. He let his own tongue meet Phil's. Then he started to pump his two fingers into himself and stretch himself out, his legs getting further and further apart as he got more and more lost in the sensations.

Phil moved his tongue passionately against Dan’s. He could still taste some of himself left in Dan's mouth, but it soon passed and it was all Dan again. He moved his lips more quickly against Dan's, rolling his body against Dan's.

"Moan louder," Phil said, biting at Dan's lip and moving his hand more quickly again.

Dan kissed him back needfully, moaning into Phil’s mouth as he pressed his fingers deeper inside himself. He aimed perfectly and ran his fingers back and forth over his sweet spot, his mouth falling open again as he moaned louder. His free hand came up and ran across his own chest before they moved into Phil's hair and tugged him closer into the kiss, wanting more.

Phil kissed Dan deeply for a moment, their tongues colliding. Then he moved to Dan's neck, biting at the soft skin. He kissed, bit, and sucked at his neck to send the sensation through his body. His hand let go of Dan's cock briefly and moved to touch Dan's hand, feeling him moving his own fingers in and out of his body.  Phil sat back to look over Dan, pushing his legs up so he was displayed for him. Phil moved his fingers down and teased his finger along Dan's entrance right next to Dan's fingers.  He quickly brought his finger to his mouth and licked it before pushing it inside Dan's body.

Dan moaned as he felt Phil's fingers.

"Mmhh, yes," he moaned and rolled his hips down onto his own fingers plus the one from Phil's. His cock was hard and flushed against his stomach as the stimulation from his sweet spot felt amazing right now. "Kiss me," he whined.

Phil moved his finger to the side, stretching Dan more. It was new to feel Dan's fingers along with his own inside Dan. Three fingers was the general max between them, but Phil wanted to see if Dan could take more. He moved his finger next to Dan's so that it pressed against the spot that was causing Dan the most pleasure and then pushed another finger inside. He then leaned forward and kissed Dan harshly.

Dan gasped a little but kissed Phil back. It wasn’t like he couldn't take four; he could, he just wasn't expecting it. He relaxed his muscles more and all four fingers inside him slid up to the knuckle. Dan let out a contented moan.

"Mmmmhhh, shit, that's good." He liked the stretch; when done correctly, it felt amazing to him, being open wide like that. He used his two fingers inside himself to scissor a little around Phil fingers, little pleasured noises passing his lips.

Phil smiled into the kiss.

"You like being stretched, don't you?" Phil said, moving his fingers to stretch Dan even further, but all the while careful not to move too fast.

Phil pushed his fingers in as deep as he could, getting stopped by his knuckle. He moved his fingers faster, pressing into Dan's sweet spot.

Dan nodded and swallowed harshly, leaning his forehead against Phil's shoulder.

"It amazes me how when done properly how far you can be stretched and have it not hurt, but when people are forceful even a small amount hurts. I love the feeling of your body getting comfortable with the uncomfortable."

Phil nodded.

"I want to stretch you more," Phil said, thrusting his fingers in and out of Dan's body. He kissed along the side of Dan's face up to his ear. "And push you farther," he whispered in a low voice.

Dan moaned and nodded.

"I want that, too. I would love that, being pushed by you," He moaned lightly and his cock twitched at the thought of it. "Mmh, even thinking about it, what would you do?"

He was still leaning against Phil's shoulder and turned to look at him a little.

Phil smirked; he liked that it excited Dan.

"I'd stretch you more; I bet you could fit more than four fingers in here," Phil said, pushing his fingers up against the spot. "Then I'd tie you up and hold a vibrator against your cock, watching your body shake as pleasure consumes you," Phil continued in his low voice, flicking his tongue against Dan's ear.

Dan nodded and moaned.

"Mmh, I could. If I totally subbed to you, you could fit as much as you wanted inside me, baby. God, I want it." He reached down with his free hand and started stroking his cock, moaning against Phil's neck.

Phil lifted his face up to look at Dan. The younger boy’s face was flushed and needy underneath him. He loved how Dan looked under him. Phil leaned down, catching Dans lip's and kissing him roughly, biting at his lips and shoving his tongue into Dan's mouth.

"God, I want that," Phil moaned, moving his fingers even faster now. "Dan, I want you to come," Phil said against Dan's mouth, aiming his fingers perfectly.

Dan moaned loudly and kept stroking his cock. He moaned Phil's name loudly and came down his hand, Phil's name slipping from his lips multiple times as he worked himself down.

When he was finished, he stopped touching his cock and lifted his fingers with his come on them up in front of Phil's mouth. Phil lifted his face and took the fingers into his mouth, licking over them and cleaning every bit of come off. The entire time, he didn't look away from Dan's face.

Dan's mouth fell open and he moved so that the palm of his hand was in front of Phil with come on it.

Phil looked at Dan's hand for only a moment before tilting his face and licking more come off of Dan's hand. Phil pulled his fingers out of Dan's body to grab the younger boy’s wrist while he cleaned every bit of come from Dan’s hand. He looked down and saw more on Dan's stomach. He worked his way down there, his mouth open and taking in every bit of come.

Dan moaned lightly.

"That looks really good," he muttered, not taking his eyes off of Phil. Dan removed his own fingers from himself and wiped them across his thigh. "That was fun," he said, still looking at Phil.

Phil swallowed the bit of come that was on his mouth and licked his lips.

"Yeah, it was," Phil said, blushing a bit as his head cleared more. He leaned down and cuddled up next to Dan. "Welcome home, love," Phil whispered.

He wanted to ask about what had just happened--wanted to ask if they could do it again but more--but Phil’s face just got more pink at the thought.

Dan sighed, still in his post-orgasm high.

"That was fun; I liked that," he said and leaned down to kiss Phil's lips.

He noticed Phil's blush, but chose to ignore it. He wondered if Phil would be comfortable talking about what they had discussed once the cover of sex had gone. Dan smiled and kissed him again. He wouldn't bring it up; he’d leave it up to Phil whether he wanted to or not.

Phil hid his face in the pillows next to Dan's face. He wanted to ask, he really did, but this was something he hadn't even known he wanted. They talked about stuff like this before, but Phil had always been a vanilla sex kinda guy. Yet, the thought of Dan in full submission to him was too hot to ignore.

"Hey, Dan, I was wondering if you could bring stuff home," Phil finally said, the sound muffled by the pillows.

Phil couldn't see him, so Dan grinned widely before innocently replying, "what stuff?"

Phil was fairly innocent with this stuff, and Dan didn't like to miss opportunities to draw him a little more out of his shell. Plus, he wanted Phil to ask; it added to the experience--Dan fetching stuff Phil wanted to use to make him submit.

"Or we could go buy our own stuff. I don't really care either way," Phil said, peeking up at Dan. "Handcuffs, the bar thing, the um, spreader was it? And the spinney wheel thing that we played with for a second that one time." Phil looked more at Dan. Dan seemed excited and that actually made Phil blush more. "Is it okay?"

"You wanna use the spreader on me? Mhh." Dan made a very small moan simply at the image this threw into his mind: him on the bed, cuffed, with his legs spread and held that way as Phil stretched him wide. "You really wanna?" he said, unable to hide from his tone how much he himself wanted it.

Phil scooted closer to Dan, snuggling into him.

"I wouldn't hurt you," Phil said, softly kissing Dan's collar.

The boy sounded a bit excited, but Phil was too anxious to read too much into it.

"There are other things I'd want, too," Phil said. He didn’t know where all this was coming from, but he wanted Dan that way and (despite his nervousness at the moment) it was getting exciting just thinking and talking about it.

"I know you wouldn't," Dan said quickly. "I know, that's why I want it: because I could actually enjoy it, knowing you wouldn't push me further than you should, knowing if I said stop, you would. I trust you to push me."  Dan was quiet for a second. "What else would you want? Tell me properly," he said, meeting Phil's eyes with excitement in his own.

Phil sat up, more excited now.

"Some rope that I can use on you, bondage tape, um, let's see." Phil rattled his brain for all his fantasies of Dan. "We’re going to need more lube, but I can go buy that," he said casually.  "Is there anything you want?" Phil asked while he thought about his possibilities with Dan.

Dan smiled before moving his mouth next to Phil's ear and whispering lowly into his ear.

"What I want is to submit completely to you. To only you. For you to have me underneath you however you want me, with a little pile of things that you can use on me." Dan let his tongue dart over Phil's ear. "Tied up and defenseless as you have complete power over me."

Phil's body shuddered with want as he turned to look at Dan.

"You're...wow..." Phil said, a bit in shock by how amazingly sexy Dan was, how willing and how much he enjoyed it, too. "I love you so much," Phil said, turning his face toward Dan to kiss him. "Thank you for this."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil are exploring kinks now ouo this is only till chapter 41, then pain/climax/ending! were almost there guys!


	40. Foreplay

The time had come: Phil was standing with Dan outside of the store and he suddenly had no desire to go inside. It was the adult store. He wanted to buy their own things--they were so excited to before--but now that they were actually there, Phil just didn't want to go inside.

"I can't do this. We have a list, why don't you just go in there and get what we need?" Phil said, clinging to Dan's arm and biting playfully at his shoulder.

Dan laughed. He knew this was gonna happen; Phil wasn't comfortable with this kind of thing.

"Because this was your idea," he said simply. "You told me what you wanted to do to me, so if you want to do it, you need the equipment, baby," he said, wrapping an arm around Phil's shoulder to offer support. "I'm going with you, but you need to do this. It's how this works."

Phil blushed. It was all his idea, this was what he wanted, but that didn't make him any less nervous. He didn't even know why he was nervous. There was nothing in the shop to be afraid of. No one inside there was going to judge him for the things they bought. Phil turned into Dan and hid his face in his collar.

"Alright, I'm fine. Let’s go in," Phil mumbled.

Dan kept smiling and turned Phil's body, pushing Phil in front of him and making him go in first. Dan himself had no issue with this place-- not because he visited them himself, but because he was intimately familiar with basically everything that this kind of store sold. He probably knew more about the items than the people behind the counter.

Phil sighed and looked around. It was surprisingly bigger on the inside than he had expected. Another blush creeped onto his face when he saw the wall of "novelty" vibrators, i.e. crappy things that break after a few uses. Phil wasn't embarrassed by sex toys. He had his own vibrators and cock rings that he had bought for himself, but he had bought them online, and the idea of having to interact with another human who would see him looking through all the things he wanted made his heart race--and in the bad way. Phil turned to Dan, looking at him for support.

"You gotta help me find everything," Phil said, grabbing Dan's hand.

Thankfully, the store was mostly empty aside from the employees, a couple young women at the register chatting casually, and a guy hanging up role-play outfits.

"I will," Dan said, squeezing Phil's hand. "It's okay. No one’s judging us here." He ran his thumb over the back of Phil's hand, trying to calm him a little. "What do you wanna look for first, babe?"

"Let's look for the bullet vibrators first," Phil said, wandering to where he thought they might be just so they weren’t standing still anymore.

Phil pulled out his list on his phone, anxious he would forget something and be embarrassed about it later.

"Then that side seems to have more, um, bondage and role-play stuff, where I think we’ll find handcuffs. I like the ones you have at work ‘cause they have an easy latch, but you still can't get out of them. Keys are just too much work, though."

Dan nodded and let Phil lead the way to the bullet vibrators. Dan started to look over them.

"What kind of intensity do you want? Do you want it, like, teasing? Or like, super strong?" Dan was excited for Phil to use all this stuff on him, and this was almost like a form of foreplay, watching Phil scan his eyes over the items, picking the stuff he wanted to use on Dan later.

"Both?" Phil said with a bit of a question at the end. "We can get more than one. I want something smooth and wireless, not some crappy thing like this," Phil said, flicking his finger at one of them. He was relaxing more now that he was inside the building and looking over things, thinking of what he wanted, and what he wanted to do to Dan.

"Oh, I forgot about money not being an issue." Dan smirked a little and then pointed at one that he knew was a good, well-known brand. "That brand is good," he said, "but I want you to pick the ones you want to use on me. I don't want to pick my own toys."

He liked talking like this in public, even though no one could hear them. It was exciting.

"But you know what is actually quality," Phil said, turning his face to Dan's.

He grabbed the package and turned it over in his hand, glancing over the back to see what batteries it required and how long it lasted. Phil didn't want something that died halfway through the night.

"Yeah, this one seems good. I'll get some others in this brand so I can play with what I want," Phil said, grabbing another that had a pulsing setting.

He knew exactly what he wanted to use that for. He handed the items to Dan and took out his phone to look at the list.

"Okay, butt plugs are right over here," Phil said stepping over to the strange display of plugs.

Dan smirked a little and followed behind Phil. He leaned up to Phil’s ear and whispered, "This is kind of sexy to me, seeing you look at this stuff, seeing if it's what you need for your plan with me."

Phil blushed, but he thought the same: it was exciting that they were out in an adult store like this and that Phil was looking through his list of what he needed to make Dan submit to him.

Dan stepped back, pointed at one, and said, "Not that brand. They’re uncomfortable and just overall bad.” He pointed to a different one. "That brand there is good... but I haven't used that one specifically."

Phil looked at the brand Dan had said no to.

"Well, yeah, they’re made out of plastic. I want something in silicone. That way it's easy to clean and doesn't collect bacteria." Phil saw some nice ones in different sizes. His eyes fell over an extremely large one, and Phil couldn't help but giggle.

"Oh my gosh, Dan look at this. I don't want to use it, but look at this," Phil said, laughing. The 'toy' was just beyond hilariously large, and Phil could not get his head around the idea of someone actually using it. He hadn't seen something that large in Dan's drawers at work, at least.

Dan laughed, too.

"Yeah, some people are into stretching a little too much. It gets stupid. People train their bodies so they can take something like that, but I don't see the appeal myself." He made a face at it. "They’ll regret it, too. It’s not good for you.” Then he turned his attention back to some more nicely sized ones.

Phil giggled as he picked the one he liked.

"Yeah, at that point I don't think it’s sexy anymore." Phil put his arm around Dan's waist, feeling much more comfortable.

He grabbed a basket as they walked past the plugs and put the items they had already grabbed in the basket.

"Handcuffs, spreader, bondage tape?" Phil said, looking at his phone. “Do you think they’d have the sensation knife here?" he asked. The place looked quite nice and filled with things, but to him that just seemed a bit more out there in terms of sexual toys.

"Umm, probably not. Those usually need to be ordered from medical bondage sites," he said. "I can bring mine from work, though; it's hardly ever used by anyone," he added. He had gotten the idea that this was Phil being a little possessive again, wanting new ones, ones no one else had used on Dan before.

Phil gave a soft nod.

"Yeah, that's okay then. I don't want to have to wait for something to get here in the mail," Phil said.

That was exactly it: Phil didn't want to use toys that anyone else had used on Dan, toys that had been used to abuse Dan, used as an accomplice in his mistreatment. But he could make an exception for the one item; they had shared a moment with it, anyway. They were getting closer to the guy who was organizing role-play clothing. Phil started to feel self-conscious again. Speaking in a bit of a quieter voice to avoid the man hearing them, he leaned over to Dan.

"What kind of handcuffs? I don't want something that’ll pinch you."

"You pick one and I will tell you if they are okay or not, okay?" He wanted Phil to pick something out entirely on his own, so he stood back a little and let Phil look over the selection.

Phil blushed. He was anxious; he didn't know what he was looking at over here. This was new territory. Phil flicked through them, specifically looking for one with an easy release. When he found one, he grabbed it and turned to Dan, showing him what he had chosen.

Dan nodded.

"Yup, they’re fine,"  Dan said, putting them in the basket. He was getting more and more excited, knowing Phil was going to use this stuff on him. "What's next, bondage tape?"

Phil smiled and let out a sigh of relief, glad he was able to pick out something of quality.

"Mhm, that's easy enough," Phil said, grabbing the package and reading over it. "Do you know if this leaves a sticky residue? We don't have much to choose from."

"Hmm, I’m not sure. I haven't had this one before, so you might have to ask," Dan said, eyes sparkling at the challenge he was issuing Phil.

Phil's cheeks flushed. He didn't want to talk to anyone else about this. He made a whining sound to try and make Dan go talk to someone instead, but Dan wasn't going to cave; he wanted Phil to do it. Phil pouted and turned. The man was closest, but Phil didn't want to bother him and the girls seemed easier to talk to. Phil left Dan where he was and padded to the counter.

"Hey, all ready to check out?" one girl asked, smiling at Phil and moving to the register.

"Nah, I just have a question," Phil said, his voice suddenly steady. He was always good at talking to people even if it was hard for him to get over there and start.

She nodded, and Phil continued.

"This bondage tape, do you know if it leaves a residue?" Phil handed her the package and tried to hide his blush. She looked over it.

"Nah, this one's really good, actually." She started smiling at Phil, leaning over the counter a little bit. "It's my favorite to use. There’s a bit of a sting if you pull it off quickly, but a little pain is fun, right?"

Phil nodded, oblivious to her obvious flirting. The other girl joined in. "Is there anything else I could help you find?"

Phil smiled kindly.

"Nah, my boyfriend is pretty knowledgeable about most of the things here." He said it without thinking, and it probably came across really badly. Phil's cheeks flushed. "Ahh, I mean like, he..." Phil rambled. He didn't know how to dig himself out of that.

Dan could hear the conversation and laughed a little. It was cute how Phil was trying to backtrack from an entirely true statement. He walked over and swung his arm around Phil's shoulder.

"You mean exactly what you said because it's true," he said. "I'm not ashamed of it." He kissed Phil's cheek and then he looked at the girls and smiled. "If we need any help, we’ll come back and ask though. Thanks." He smiled at them and led Phil away to look at some other items.

Phil followed Dan, grateful to be rescued from that situation. He let out a soft sigh of relief.

"Okay, we need a spreader and some rope." Phil looked at Dan and smiled. "This is gonna be fun, yeah?”  They were almost done with their shopping, and Phil was remembering what all these items were leading up to.

Dan met Phil's eyes directly and nodded.

"Yeah, you have.... no idea how excited I am to submit to you." He bit his lip a little, wanting to be home already, but he shook the thoughts for now as they had a job to complete. "Okay. Spreader, that looks like them over there." He pointed and then walked over to them. "Do you want one that's adjustable so you can decide how spread you want me? Or a set distance one?"

Saying this kind of thing was starting to turn Dan on already. It was definitely foreplay for him: being in public, selecting things to be used on him, helping Phil pick what he wanted to use, asking those types of questions, and picturing all the things in his head that were associated with those questions.

Phil smiled.

"Adjustable," he said, looking at cufflinks for them while Dan found what he needed. Excitement started flooding though his body at the thought of Dan under him with his legs spread open and wanting him so badly.

He smiled again, playing with the cuffs in his hand and looking at how they locked, how easy they were to undo. Through his fumbling hands, he dropped them on the floor. He knelt down to pick them up when something on a lower shelf caught his eye. He saw some glass cups, kinda cute looking too, with their bulb shape. Phil looked over at Dan, who was examining a bar and closing it back up.

"Hey Dan, what’s this?" he asked.

Dan bent down and took a look at the thing Phil was looking at.

"I dunno," he said, turning the box over. "Fire cups... oh. I've heard of these, but never used them," he said, looking at Phil. "You make the air hot then put them on the person’s skin, and it suctions to them so it ,like, pulls and is hot. That would feel interesting."

He turned the box over in his hands before handing it back to Phil and standing up. It wasn't something on their list so he assumed Phil was just curious, not wanting to buy them.

"Do you want to try it? It seems nice," Phil asked, looking back up at Dan, his voice hesitant.

It was new, so maybe Dan wouldn’t want it. Phil looked away and put it on the shelf,  anticipating a no from Dan and trying not to look too let down. But it seemed like a nice thing: not painful, just an interesting sensation.

Dan looked at Phil, hearing the hesitation.

"Okay, yeah. It would be cool to have something that’s new for both of us," he said, reaching down and getting the box back off the shelf where Phil had put it back. "Anything else left on your list?"

Phil smiled and jumped up, wrapping his arms around Dan's neck and hugging him.

"Thank you!" He said excitedly, kissing Dan's cheek.

He didn't even know where this excitement was coming from, but the idea of sharing a completely new experience between the both of them sounded like such a novelty. He looked into the basket Dan was holding.

"Hmm, just some rope," Phil said, looking through the basket, quite pleased with their collection of things. "I want to look at some of the vibrators here before we go, see what they have."

"Okay," Dan said. "Lead the way."

He was grinning because Phil's excitement was so adorable. They got to the rope and quickly began to look through their options. After selecting the best one, they moved across to look at the vibrators.

"Oh, we also should get more lube. I mean we have a lot at home, but ya know," Phil said as he looked at the luxury vibrators. He grabbed the box of one that had a nice texture and put it in the basket.

"Okay, lube and then we should go before I buy more things," Phil said, laughing and putting his arm around Dan's waist.

"See, you like it now you're in here, don't you?" Dan said, smiling and kissing Phil's cheek before they headed towards the counter.

Phil giggled.

"Well yeah. It was daunting coming in here at first. I didn't know what it was gonna look like in here," he said, bumping Dan with his hip.

They emptied the basket on the counter and Phil picked up a small tub of something that was displayed next to the register, absentmindedly reading it over while the girl at the register started scanning their items.

The girl was eying Phil up again, so Dan not-so-discreetly slipped his arm around Phil's waist and pulled him closer, silently showing his claim on him.

Phil felt Dan's arm around him and turned his face to smile at him, wanting nothing more than to give him another kiss. But, he didn't want to be rude in public, so he just pressed his forehead gently to the younger boy’s. The girl started bagging their things.

"You two sure have a fun night planned, don’t cha?" she asked as she put the handcuffs in a bag.

Dan grinned.

"Oh, yes," he said, nudging into Phil a little. He looked at Phil to judge his reaction to the comment from the cashier.

Phil blushed, putting his hand on Dan's, which was resting on his waist.

"Y-yeah, " he replied. He didn't want to talk about it with this stranger; it was just something between him and Dan. "It's gonna be a lot of fun." Phil looked down and at Dan's feet. He just wanted to go home and be with Dan now. Phil grabbed his wallet and handed her his debit card.

"Is this your first time being a submissive?" she asked casually. Phil blushed even more. "W-what!?" he said, taking back his card after she swiped it.

Dan leaned in and placed a kiss to Phil's cheek, then spoke for him, answering the woman.

"I'm the one being submissive tonight, but we might have to try it the other way around sometime as well," he said, smiling at the woman and then at Phil.

Phil’s cheeks were already as pink as they could get. He was ready to go home. He took the bags.

"Thank you," he said, handing a bag to Dan and grabbing his hand so they could leave. They scurried out the door and Phil took a deep breath once they were outside. "Phew, okay. That was not as bad as I was expecting it to be," Phil said, laughing and leaning against Dan some. "You know what I really like?" Phil teased. "I like people knowing I'm your boyfriend." Phil kissed Dan's cheek and they started heading toward the train.

"Where to now, home? Oh, we still don't have the sensation knife," Phil said a bit sadly. He was excited for that and felt a little let down, but he knew they could always get it another time.

"I can stop by work and get it, say I left something in my room and sneak out with it?" Dan offered, taking Phil's hand and walking along with him.

Phil looked at Dan, smiling,

"Yeah? You could do that?" Phil asked, keeping his eyes on Dan. "I'd really like that; I was excited for it. Okay, let's go there then."

Dan nodded.

"Okay, it’s not far from here anyway."

They walked a few blocks and then came to the club. It was open but operating as just a bar at the moment, so Dan’s boss wasn't around or anything. Dan nipped in and out quickly. Although the day staff weren’t people he was familiar with, they knew he was a dancer so didn't really question him being here. He came back out with the sensation knife safely tucked away in his pocket.

"Okay, let's go," he said when he came out, kissing Phil's cheek.

"That was quick," Phil commented as they walked back toward the train. Soon making their way home, Phil kicked off his shoes and started walking to the bedroom.

"I'm gonna start opening things. You should shower first, and when you're done I'll go shower. And I want you to stretch yourself a little before we start, okay?" Phil said, already slipping into dominance.

This was trust: Dan submitting to Phil for the night and trusting that Phil would take care of him. Dan felt excitement building in his stomach; he didn't expect Phil to act like this so soon after getting home. He was doing it properly.

"Okay, sure. Whatever you want," Dan said, meeting Phil's eyes. He could feel himself submitting already, wanting to please Phil, make him happy. "Now?" he asked.

Phil felt a surge of excitement spark through him.

"Yeah, now. We'll talk about some things once I'm out of the shower, too," Phil said, nodding to Dan to go.

He liked this already, the change in energy between them. He had just taken Dan out and made him watch as Phil chose the things he’d be using on him.  Now he was telling him to wash and stretch. Phil started unpacking things, opening boxes and tearing open packaging, testing to make sure the bullet vibrators turned on once the batteries were inserted.

Dan simply nodded then went and showered, making sure everything was the way Phil would want it. He wanted to be perfectly clean and smooth for him. When he was satisfied with everything, he got out the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. He walked into the bedroom where Phil was sitting on the bed. Dan needed to do his hair, stretch, and make himself presentable in the time Phil took to shower.

Phil smiled when he saw Dan come into the room.

"I'll be out soon, but don't worry--you can take your time. We won’t start until we're both ready," Phil said as he moved to the bathroom.

He quickly hopped into the shower, washing to make sure he smelled nice and was generally clean. When he got out, he towel-dried his hair and body, pulled on his boxers, and headed back out. He stopped at the kitchen to grab a bottle of water from the fridge and then went back to the bedroom where Dan was waiting for him.

Dan had gotten ready quickly, yet effectively. He’d stretched himself a lot, first using his fingers, then a dildo. He wanted to look good for Phil when he spread his legs, he wanted his body to open up for him. He was completely dressed, sitting on his side of the bed innocently as if they didn't have anything out of the ordinary planned.

Phil set the water down and crawled onto the bed, sitting down next to Dan.

"I wanna talk about this first," Phil said, giving Dan a quick kiss. "You really want to do this?" Phil asked. He wanted to make sure that they were both on the same page of excitement. Even though Dan had said he was excited for it, Phil needed to make sure he wanted it right, needed to check for consent. This was a big deal for both of them.

Dan nodded.

"Yeah, I want to," Dan said, kissing Phil. "I trust you. I wanna experience this with someone I trust," he said, kissing him again.

Phil moved his hand up to Dan's face, continuing to kiss him. "I've never experienced anything like this, but I'm really excited about getting to share it with you," he mumbled, their lips still close together. "We should have a safe word or two, one to stop what I'm doing and one to ease up. I’ll be restraining you, so if you need a break, you can let me know if you need to be untied, or just need some water, or to breathe. I'll listen." Phil may have been being overly kind, but he felt it necessary.

He knew what Dan had experienced in his past and he wanted the younger boy to feel safe and secure, to know that it would be exciting but would never go too far with Phil.

"I've never experienced something like this-- actually wanting it before," Dan said softly. "Okay, words. Purple means break, red means stop?" he offered.

Dan was excited, but also nervous; in the past, he had never felt comfortable with this, nor had he ever wanted it--he’d just put up with it.

Phil met Dan's eyes and nodded.

"That works," Phil said, his hands running over Dan's face. "Are you ready?" Phil asked once more. "You don't have to hold back sounds unless I say otherwise, okay?"

"Okay, yeah, I'm ready," Dan said softly. "You don't need to be scared of hurting me either. I'm not fragile; I want you to do this properly, not with kiddie gloves. I don't want you to think about things that have happened to me in the past. This is different, this is ours," he said, kissing Phil's nose once.

Phil giggled and kissed Dan's cheek.

**"This is ours," Phil repeated before bringing their lips together.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gonna warn now and at the begining of when the next chapter is posted. The next scene is a heavy bdsm scene, if that makes you uncomfortable you can skip it and not miss a thing really, there is no serious plot except showing the trust dan has in phil now and showing how sexy consent is ;3 anyway ill warn again when that chapter goes up  
> so heres some bad news, even though B is feeling better, hospital stuff is all cleared up, she is also swamped with work now to make up for the time she was sick. it is looking like we will be a week late on cwm, there was a scene we were re writing at the end of chapter 41 that we need to finish, i'll talk with my editor and see if she wants to edit a chapter of doin dirt so you guys arn't without anything. but yeah, sorry about that =[ hopefully things clear up soon for her.


	41. Ours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING AGAIN!! THIS IS BDSM! IF YOU ARE NOT INTERESTED IN THAT FEEL FREE TO SKIP THE CHAPTER!  
> 

Already kissing each other passionately, the kiss got deeper and rougher as it continued. Phil's hand was on the back of Dan's neck, holding him in place. He didn't need to be afraid of hurting Dan; Phil would do what he wanted and if Dan wanted it to stop, he would announce it. Until then, Phil had to allow himself to push it, and dominate and drive all of Dan's senses wild until he had the best orgasm of his life.

Dan kissed back, the excitement making him a little twitchy. He didn't know what Phil was going to do, or in what order, and that was exciting him a lot. He wanted to tangle his hands in Phil's hair, but he resisted; he wanted to play the submissive properly and not do anything unless provoked to.

Phil started running his other hand over Dan's shoulder and down his chest, already pushing up his shirt.

"If you want to touch me, you better do it now, ‘cause you won’t be able to use your hands soon," Phil teased, smirking to himself as he thought of everything he had planned for this boy.

Phil bit harshly at Dan's lip, tugging it out and letting it snap back. Phil then licked over it and pushed his tongue into Dan's mouth without any resistance.

Dan opened his mouth willingly for Phil, loving the feeling of his tongue slipping into his mouth. He did as he was told and let his hands wander up Phil's back and shoulders. He then let his hands tangle into Phil’s hair, kissing back but letting Phil keep control.

Phil made a pleased moan of agreement. He liked the way Dan's hands felt on him; just because he was being dominant didn't mean he wanted that to stop when the boy’s hands were still free. Phil's tongue explored Dan's mouth, memorizing the taste of him. Phil moved so he was straddling Dan's hips, pushing the younger boy down the be and keeping him pinned between his legs as their lips still moved passionately against one another.

Dan moaned a little at the feeling of Phil pushing him down against the bed. Phil’s hands moved from Dan’s hair down to his hips, running the pads of his thumbs over the protruding bone as they kept kissing. Dan was waiting for whatever Phil's next move was going to be.

Phil lifted his face up, smiling at Dan as he saw his lips red from kissing.

"Why are you dressed? You should already be naked and waiting for me," he said and pulled at Dan's shirt, throwing it to the floor. Dan’s shirt was quickly followed by his pants so that Dan was now completely exposed under Phil.

He ran his hands up Dan's chest, feeling over his perfectly smooth skin after taking in the sight of Dan under him, willing and waiting for him to make his move.

"Much better." Phil got up to remove his underwear and then crawled back on the bed.

He grabbed Dan's legs, pulling him lower before moving back up Dan's chest, Phil now straddling Dan's face.

"I'm not hard yet," Phil said, pouting. "Open your mouth," his voice steady and firm. As Dan's mouth fell open, Phil pushed his cock past his lips and into the warmth.

"Suck," Phil said, moving his hips to push his cock in and out of the boys mouth.

Dan loved it already and he had only just started. Phil was exercising authority over him, but it was laced with love and trust and Dan felt perfectly safe. He let Phil's cock slide in and out of his mouth a few times before closing his lips around it, making a perfect suction around him to fuck into as his tongue ran over the underside of Phil's cock inside his mouth.

Phil moaned, rocking his head back as continued to thrust into Dan's mouth, one hand holding onto the headboard in front of him while the other ran through Dan's hair. His mouth was amazing; he knew exactly where to move his tongue, how far to keep his mouth open to prevent himself from biting, but closed his lips to create a suction. Phil moaned again. He was getting hard now and taking a more dominant role, figuring out what to do and say. Phil pulled his cock out of Dan's mouth, running it along his lips.

"Tell me you want it," Phil commanded, looking down at Dan, who looked so sexy pinned under him like this.

Dan swallowed then looked up at Phil.

"I want it," he said, darting his tongue out to lick at the head of Phil's cock. "Please fuck my mouth, baby, I want it." He opened his mouth in a circle shape so that Phil could just push back in if he wanted to.

"Tongue out," Phil said, sticking his fingers into Dan's mouth and pulling his tongue out.

He pushed the tip of his cock against his tongue, forcing Dan to lick any precum that was leaking before pushing his cock back into Dan's mouth. He filled his mouth completely, pushing down his throat and holding it there.

"Swallow around my cock, baby."

Dan gagged a little, but gagging wasn't something scary to Dan; he had it happen a lot and it only happened now because he wasn't expecting it. He breathed out through his nose and met Phil's eyes before swallowing around his cock, the action causing it to slip a little deeper into his throat--he made no attempt to pull back.

Phil felt Dan swallow around him and pulled out.

"Well done," Phil said petting Dan's hair.

Dan was being extremely compliant. Phil moved back, getting off Dan's chest and moving down, nipping at every bit of skin his lips passed.

Dan didn't say anything. They hadn't established what Phil wanted him to say in this kind of situation so he opted to say nothing, only a small whimper passing through his lips as he felt Phil's teeth on him.

When Phil got to Dan's hips he sat back up, his hand running up Dan's chest before pinching at him.

"You didn't say thank you though," Phil said, slapping his chest. "You should say thank you when you are given something." Phil hoped he was doing this right; it was just coming to him what he felt like doing, what he wanted from Dan.

Dan whimpered a little.

"I'm sorry, thank you, Phil," he said, biting his lip. It was exciting, and he liked this new side to Phil.

Phil smirked and caressed Dan's chest again, smacking it once more before looking down between them. Dan was half hard already and Phil hadn’t even touched him yet.

"You're so easily excited sometimes," Phil said, running his nails down Dan's chest.

Phil got up and moved off the bed to where he had all of their new toys laid out. Dan stayed still, waiting for Phil to decide what he wanted to use first. Phil picked up some things and moved back toward the bed.

"If you want something, you ask for it, and you say ‘thank you’ when you’re given something, got it?" Phil asked as he [handcuffed](http://www.amazon.com/Pipedreams-Fetish-Fantasy-Limited-Edition/dp/B008W2YWCK/ref=sr_1_30?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1396548204&sr=1-30&keywords=handcuffs) Dan to the headboard.

Normally Phil wouldn’t want to tie Dan down to anything, since Phil liked to change positions a lot, but he felt like Dan would be there for a while. Phil got back in between Dan's legs and spread them open, Dan's entrance opening nicely already.

"You better keep your legs open," Phil said before he smacked Dan's inner thigh.

He played with the [small bullet vibrator](http://www.amazon.com/55X18mm-Vibrators-Waterproof-Wireless-Bullets/dp/B00HC157ZS/ref=sr_1_14?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1396548337&sr=1-14&keywords=bullet+vibe+wireless) in between his fingers for a moment before turning it on and pushing it against Dan's cock, dragging it up from the base to the head, sending vibrations all along his length.

Dan let himself get moved around by Phil, nodding in response to his question and then keeping his legs spread for him. He moaned when the vibrator was dragged along his length. Dan arched into it a little but couldn’t move a lot because his wrists were cuffed.

Phil took Dan's cock in his hand and brought the vibrator to the tip, pushing it against the slit.

"Louder, come on, let’s get this cock hard if you want me to fuck you," Phil said stroking him lazily.

Dan made a high pitch noise as the vibrator was pushed against his slit.

"Mmm, fuck," he moaned out, involuntarily rolling his hips up. Phil had complete control over if and when Dan felt pleasure.

Phil pulled the small vibrator away, turning it off and setting it on the bed. His hand stroked Dan's cock a few more times.

"You're being so good," Phil praised him, watching Dan try to regulate his breathing as his body still shook slightly from the vibrations. "When you're good, you get a reward," Phil said, running his hand up Dan's chest and pinching slightly. "Did you stretch well enough?" Phil asked, his other hand on his own cock stroking himself.

"Thank you," Dan mumbled, missing the contact on his cock. "Yes, I stretched super well. I used a vibrator to stretch, but it was off though. I wanted my hole to open for you," he said blushing a little.

Something about being submissive with someone you trusted felt more vulnerable than pretending for a perfect stranger; he felt more exposed than he ever had been.

"Good," Phil said simply.

He coated himself with lubricant and grabbed Dan's legs, pushing them up to his chest, then quickly and smoothly thrusted into Dan's body. He gripped more tightly onto Dan's legs as he filled him completely.

"I gave you something, now what do you say?"

Dan gasped loudly, caught somewhere between a moan and yell, his mouth falling open and his hands balling into fists even though he couldn't grab anything.

"T-t-thank you," he breathed out, eyes wide as he hadn't been expecting that so quickly, though they both knew he was entirely capable of taking it.

Phil kept staring at Dan; he knew he was okay, but that didn't mean Phil didn't care and want to wait to make sure.  

"I couldn't hear you. Say it louder," Phil said, smacking Dan's leg.

"Thank you," he said more loudly and with a slight whine, the sting of the slap coupled with Phil deep inside him making him needier by the second. He tried to grind his hips down against Phil's cock, wanting him to move.

Phil caressed the spot he had slapped. He rocked back, pulling slowly out of him and pushing back in. He rolled his hips to move inside of Dan, a soft moan passing his lips.

"You feel so good," Phil praised, moving his hips a bit faster.

Dan moaned a little louder, feeling Phil pushing into him again. He wanted to grab Phil's hips but couldn't, so he pulled against the handcuffs in frustration.

"You feel so good inside me," he whined.

"That's right," Phil said, running a hand up Dan's chest and over his neck, taking in the sight.

His thrusts became quicker and harder. Phil stared at Dan, meeting his eyes before gripping a bit more firmly on the younger boy’s neck. Dan arched his back, wanting to feel Phil deeper. His eyes closed for a second while he focused on the feeling, not knowing if at any point Phil would stop fucking him or not, so savoring how every thrust felt. The slight grip on his neck made him feel even more submissive. Phil was doing this perfectly, his every action making Dan feel his place as Phil's sub. He moaned out again, eyes opening and locking with Phil’s, unashamedly sprawled and cuffed below him as Phil had complete control over him.

Phil kept his hand on Dan's neck a little while longer, pressing harder for two seconds before lifting his hand up to allow him to breathe properly again. His hands traveled down Dan's chest, nails scratching his skin as Phil angled himself inside the younger boy. Although this wasn't going to last for much longer before he moved to another task, he still wanted to make Dan feel good every bit along the way.

Dan breathed deeply when his neck was released, surprised at himself that he had enjoyed the restriction. He hissed at the scratches and pulled harder in his wrists, wanting freedom to touch the beautiful skin above him.

"Fuck," he muttered. "So good, thank you," he added.

"Thank you for what?" Phil said, smacking Dan's chest again. He liked how responsive Dan was; it let him know the younger boy was enjoying this whole thing.

"Taking me," he said breathily, rolling his hips down as much as he could with no leverage.

"You should be thanking me for letting you breathe," Phil said and smacked Dan's thigh harder. One hand returned to Dan's neck but didn’t apply any pressure.

"But I liked that," Dan said, smirking a little.

He wasn't breaking any rules, but the comment was a little less submissive than he had been so far this evening. Every sub has to challenge their dom's limits.

"That wasn't a thank you," Phil said and pressed on Dan's neck again. He pulled out so he was no longer inside of Dan.

Dan looked at Phil and pouted a little, wanting Phil's cock back inside him. "Thank you, baby," he said, it coming out a little odd-sounding due to the pressure against his neck making it a little harder to breathe than usual.

Phil lifted his hand and patted Dan's cheek.

"That's better." Phil sat back, grabbing Dan's legs and lifting them up more so he could look at Dan's entrance. "Do you want me to come inside you? Beg for it," Phil said with authority, eyeing over Dan.

Dan nodded.

"Please," he said quietly, focusing on relaxing his muscles so that he would open up more for Phil as he was watching.

"Please what? That doesn't really sound like you want it. Come on now, beg for my come," Phil said, letting go of one of Dan's legs in order to run his finger along Dan's entrance.

"I do, I want it, please, you know how much I love it when you do, I want it," Dan moaned with a slight pout on his lips, desperate to feel Phil inside him again.

Phil lined up his cock and pushed it back inside, though not filling Dan completely.  Phil stroked what was left of his cock outside of Dan's body and let out a groan as he started coming inside Dan. He pulled out again right away.

Dan made a whine when he felt Phil's come start to spread through him. It was warm and he was more aware of it because Phil wasn't thrusting into him; he was just using his entrance as a place to dump his load and Dan loved it.

"Mmhh, fuck," he moaned. "Every time you come, forever, do it like that," he said biting his lip, keeping still and waiting to see Phil's next move.

"If you behave, I will." Phil smirked and picked up a [butt plug](http://www.amazon.com/Great-Gift-Idea-Valentine-Birthday/dp/B00FNO5T7W/ref=sr_1_3?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1396548479&sr=1-3&keywords=butt+jewelry+large), pushing it inside, trapping Phil's come inside the younger boy’s body.

He didn't give another order, just moved Dan's legs how he wanted them and picked up the [sensation knife](http://www.amazon.com/Wartenberg-Pinwheel-Wheel-Sensory-MedicalToys/dp/B002C600SC/ref=sr_1_2?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1396548547&sr=1-2&keywords=medical+wheel), playing with it in his hand.

Dan bit his lip, experimentally rolling his hips down a little just so he could feel it still inside him. He let out a shuddery breath. He was usually the one to use the sensation knife. A few customers had on him before and although not the worst thing he had experienced, he clearly remembered the discomfort when they pressed too hard with it. But he trusted Phil, so this would be fine.

"You remember how I showed you to use it, right?" he asked quietly, a tiny hint of anxiousness in his voice.

Phil ran his hand over Dan's stomach gently.

"Trust me," Phil said simply.

He brought it down gently to Dan's soft skin on his stomach, next to where Phil's hand was, letting the pins roll delicately across. Phil hardly applied any pressure; he wanted to show Dan he wasn't going to hurt him with it.

Dan watched as the little silver wheel ran delicately across his skin, causing no pain at all. He smiled slightly at Phil.

"I do trust you, look at me." He rattled his wrists against the headboard to show what he was allowing Phil to do without any guards or people here to unlock him if needed. He was completely trusting Phil here, and it made his heart feel like it was going to burst at the fact that he could.

Phil leaned forward and kissed Dan's stomach and chest, working up to his lips and kissing him briefly. This was what love was for them: complete trust. Phil lifted back up and dragged the small wheel across his stomach again. Then he pushed Dan's thigh open more and let it roll across the delicate skin there.

Dan let out a small sound as the wheel ran across the sensitive skin of his inner thigh. The combined feeling of wanting to pull away yet liking the sensation was pleasurable to Dan and, now that he had relaxed, he could focus on how it felt. His leg instinctively parted a little further from the other as he watched it work across his skin.

Phil moved the sensation knife to the other thigh, giving it the same treatment. This was a much calmer atmosphere than that of the previous actions. Phil didn't demand a ‘thank you’ at this moment; the action was dominating in itself as Phil dragged the tiny pins across Dan's sensitive skin, Phil's come still inside the younger boy.

Dan felt goosebumps come up across his skin and he shivered a little.

"I wanna kiss you, will you kiss me? Please?" he asked quietly. This activity just felt so intimate and was making him crave more than just the feeling of the wheel against his skin. He wanted it coupled with Phil's hands and soft lips.

Phil leaned forward, rolling his body against the younger boy’s so they were touching in as many places as possible. His lips ghosted over Dan's as his hand reached up to his jaw and yanked it to the side. Phil had the sensation knife in his other hand and he brought it up to roll across the delicate skin of Dan's neck.

"Well done at asking. You're being a good boy," Phil said and leaned down to kiss Dan's cheek gently at first.

Dan shuddered at the sensation of the wheel on his neck.  

"Please, more," he added needfully but moaned lightly at the feel of Phil's skin pressed against him, loving how close they were right now.

Phil lifted his hand up and leaned back over Dan, their lips brushing together lightly. The sensation knife lay discarded on the bed as Phil's hand worked up and released one of his wrists from the metal handcuffs, allowing Dan to move his arms if he wanted to. Phil then slowly pressed their lips together properly, kissing him sweetly. This was all them just having fun together. Dan was still Phil's boyfriend, and Phil just needed to give him some reassurance that this wasn't going to be like anyone else Dan's been with.

Dan kissed back instantly, his hand going to the back of Phil's head and pulling him in closer, kissing him deeper. He pulled back a little.

"Sorry," he breathed out. "This is new, but I'm adjusting," he added hastily before kissing him again just as passionately.

He loved Phil so much, and even if in this moment he didn't say it, he knew they were both feeling it. Phil kissed back with just as much intensity, wanting to pour all his love into this kiss.

"You're doing so well," Phil praised, his hand working to caress Dan's neck and collarbone. He waited to make sure Dan was ready before continuing.

Dan kissed him more and then nodded.

"I'm fine, I'm good." He pulled back, meeting Phil's eyes, still nodding.

Phil lifted his face up, nodding gently at the younger boy. They had this deep understanding between each other, an understanding that no one else would ever quite get. That's why they could do this, because of that understanding. He then ran his hand down Dan’s chest.

"Arms back up then," Phil ordered. Dan's arms went back to the headboard and Phil locked him down again. "Let's see how you're doing down here," Phil said, working his way lower to Dan's ass so he could look at the butt plug. He grabbed it and gently pulled a little, Dan's body holding onto it slightly but releasing it fairly easily after that. Phil removed the butt plug, setting it aside.

"Any come left in you or did your ass eat it all?" Phil said, pushing his finger inside to work some of the come out. "Push it out, I wanna see my come drip out your ass."

Dan moaned at the feeling of Phil's finger then did as requested, blushing a little. He loved Phil talking like this though; it was hot and he felt like he would do whatever Phil asked him while they were doing this.

Phil watched intensely as some of his come dripped out.

"Well done," Phil said, removing his finger and picking up the low intensity bullet and the [new vibrator](http://www.amazon.com/G-Spot-Vibrator-Lelo-Iris-Powder/dp/B002TBHVH8/ref=sr_1_2?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1396548678&sr=1-2&keywords=lelo+iris) Phil had bought.

He coated the vibrator with lube and started working it inside the younger boy’s body, turning it on at a soft vibration. This was just warming Dan up for what was to come later.

Dan moaned and closed his eyes as Phil pushed the vibrator inside, happy to be filled again. All of his skin was so sensitive from the sensation knife and he wanted Phil's hands all over him, but knew he couldn't ask.

Phil smiled, happy to hear Dan's moans again. His hand played along Dan's thigh, working up his hip as he slowly pulled the vibrator in and out. He brought the bullet vibrator against Dan's skin now too, letting it tease the soft skin on his hip and pelvis, but not touching his cock yet.

"Do you like feeling the vibrator inside you?" Phil asked, dragging the bullet up Dan's stomach and chest.

"Mmh, yes, I do, feels so good," Dan moaned, pushing down onto the toy inside him and arching into the one running over his skin. "Thank you. I haven't done anything for you in ages, baby, do you want something from me?" Dan looked up at him innocently.

Phil shook his head.

"Not yet, I'll use your body when I'm ready," Phil said, angling the vibrator inside of Dan.

Phil then brought the bullet vibrator from his other hand and pressed it against the base of Dan's cock, letting it sit at the painfully low setting.

"I still have so much planned for you, I'm just warming you up."

Dan moaned at Phil's sentence; he loved hearing Phil talk like that, talk about using him. Maybe it was because he was used for a living, but coming from Phil's mouth, it just sounded amazing and he loved it; he wanted Phil to use him. He whimpered with the bullet pressed to his base, craving more but behaving for now and not asking. He just bit on his lower lip, not knowing whether to focus on the feel of the vibrator or the bullet.

Phil suddenly turned off the vibrator and pulled the bullet away.

"Alright, come on,. Up." Phil set aside the toys and undid Dan's handcuffs, letting one of the cuffs dangle around his wrist. Phil grabbed Dan’s hair and pulled him up, yanking him to his feet on the floor. "Hands and knees. Now," Phil said, pushing Dan down slightly.

Dan nodded a little frantically, eager to please Phil and got into the position he wanted. He didn’t know what to expect next but was excited at the possibilities. He liked that Phil wasn't afraid to rough-handle him a little. Phil was usually so careful with him, treating him like glass, but right now it was the opposite and Dan loved the contrast.

Phil knelt next to Dan and ran his hand delicately down the younger boys back before smacking his ass.

"You're being so good," Phil said, messing up Dan's hair and pushing his head forward slightly. "You want something in your ass again?" Phil said, grabbing firmly at Dan's ass and spreading him. "Ask for it, beg me to stick this vibrator inside you."

Dan made a frustrated sound but swallowed down the feeling for now, just speaking.

"Please, Phil, I want it inside me again. My body is begging for it." He let his legs part a little more to illustrate his point.

He was so hard by this point, and not a lot of attention had been paid to his cock. He was used to his cock being neglected during sex, but not when he was actually enjoying it. It was starting to frustrate him, but that was probably Phil's goal.

Phil took the vibrator in his hand again and pushed it back inside, turning it on and changing the setting to a pulsating vibration. Dan let out a whine, followed by a small moan every time the vibrator pulsed inside him.

"Oh god," he muttered, feeling highly teased at this point. He had his hands free and one instinctively reached back to try to find Phil and hold onto him.

Phil pushed it deeper until it was at the handle and then let go, letting Dan's body hold it inside. He smacked Dan's hand away and moved to the front of the younger boy, his hand teasing over Dan's shoulder.

"Hold that, okay? Don't drop it," Phil said in a gentle voice, his hands running over Dan's face, pushing his hair aside and kissing his forehead. "You didn't say thank you," Phil said, still in his gentle voice as he pinched Dan's chest.

"Mmh, thank you," Dan muttered quietly, focusing on tensing his body, holding the toy deep inside him. He leaned into the kiss on his forehead though, enjoying the small bit of affection.

Phil smiled and ran his hands through Dan's hair again. But Dan wasn't responding that loudly. He reached over Dan and turned up the vibration intensity on the toy.

"That feel better?" Phil asked, sitting in front of Dan again.

Dan nodded and let out a moan.

"Harder to hold it though," he added, looking up at Phil. It felt good, but was so teasing. "What happens if I don't hold it?" he said a little more loudly, telltale signs of a smirk playing at the corners of his lips.

"Do you wanna find out?" Phil said, eyes challenging the younger boy.

Phil leaned back, just watching Dan let out shaky moans as he tried to hold on to the vibrator. His legs quivered with the vibrations.

Dan smirked properly now, then stopped trying to hold the vibrator inside him. He moaned loudly at the sensation of it slipping out of him then met Phil's eyes again. Phil kept his eyes locked with Dan's as the vibrator fell to the floor.

"Bad boy," Phil said simply moving away from his face and moving around to his back. He picked up the vibrator and turned it off. "Very bad," Phil said and smacked Dan's ass lightly. "Five spankings, okay? Count them out loud," Phil said and spanked Dan's ass firmly, his hand resting in the spot waiting for Dan to start counting.

Dan yelped a little then said "one" out loud. He liked it, though; this was so different for them.

"You can be harsher with me, baby," Dan said, purposefully playing up.

Phil didn't say anything, just spanked him harder, leaving Dan's ass nice and pink with his handprint. He was planning for each slap to get harder then the next. Dan squeaked a little but said “two” out loud. When he received the third one, he clenched his teeth and didn't make any noise--it was his silent rebellion--calmly saying “three” even though the smack left a decent sting.

Phil still didn’t say anything and spanked him for the fourth time, the slap hurting his hand. He could only imagine how Dan felt, but the younger boy said “four” out loud nevertheless. On the final slap, Phil faltered, holding back a bit as his hand came in contact with Dan's skin, making a loud slap.

Dan clenched his teeth as the last one came down.

"Five," he said, but he sounded a little uncomfortable now. He hoped Phil would stop at five like he had said, as he could feel the burn from the slaps quite strongly.

Phil caressed the pink skin and kissed it delicately, Dan's ass now marked by Phil’s handprint. Phil scooted back around to Dan's front.

"You gonna behave now?" Phil said, softly running his hand over the younger boy’s face.

"Maybe," Dan said, moving his leg a little on the side of his body where Phil had spanked him, feeling a little sore.

Phil stood up and grabbed Dan's hair, tugging him up and shoving him back onto the bed. He pushed the younger boy down, pressing his stomach against the sheets. Phil acted like he was about to be rough, but then slowed down, caressing the irritated skin. He flipped open the bottle of lube and poured a small amount on the red mark to make the pain subside.

"You behaved so well there. Maybe you just like being spanked, though. Should I find another way to punish you?" Phil asked as he sat in between Dan's legs, still gently rubbing the pink skin.

"You can do whatever you want to me and I'll take it." He had this sudden urge to prove to Phil what he could handle. "Try me, anything." He looked over his shoulder at Phil.

Phil shrugged--Dan had asked for it--and he got back off the bed to grab the [spreader](http://www.amazon.com/KinkLab-Adjustable-General-Purpose-Spreader/dp/B001NTPZPM/ref=sr_1_3?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1396549029&sr=1-3&keywords=spreader+bar+adjustable),  opening it up wide and cuffing Dan's ankles to it. Clipping the handcuffs back on again, Phil then picked up the rope, tied a knot around the chain between the handcuffs, and roped it back up to the spreader bar. He looped it around so Dan's legs were lifted up and spread wide, his hands rendered useless now too. Dan was completely submissive in this position. Phil moved Dan's hips a bit to get him comfortable in the bed.

"You're already opening up," Phil said, poking at Dan's entrance.

Phil took the lube and put it on his hand, preparing his fingers before unexpectedly sticking three inside Dan.

Dan let out a loud "uhh" sound, as he wasn't expecting the intrusion so quickly, but he quickly started trying to push back against Phil’s fingers, his body already stretched enough to take the three. He started to moan lightly, and he liked how restrained he was, that he couldn't reach out. He was completely at Phil's mercy right now.

Phil curved his fingers and thrust them in and out; he knew Dan could easily take three, especially with everything they'd already done tonight. Phil stretched those fingers about as much as he could, but now needed to go further. He poured some more lube on Dan's entrance as Phil tried pushing a fourth finger in. They had fit four fingers inside Dan before, but that was different--it was two fingers with two fingers. In that arrangement, Dan wasn’t really stretched too much farther than when he was taking Phil, but four fingers on the same hand took up a lot more space. Phil moved slowly, turning his hand as he worked his fingers inside the boy’s body.

"Fuck," Dan moaned out, closing his eyes as he let Phil work him open.

All he could do was lie there and get lost in the feeling of it. He whimpered a little; it was a decent stretch compared to normal, but he was handling it. It felt good.

"Fucking love your fingers," he muttered.

Phil worked the four fingers in and out slightly, pushing in more now, applying more lube around his hand and pushing it in up until the gap between his thumb and hand ended. Phil turned his hand so he could look at Dan to make sure he was okay. He seemed to be enjoying being stretched so much.

Dan whimpered a little; that was a lot and he was physically struggling a little. Phil was being so gentle, though, so he wasn't in pain. He just needed to relax his body more. He focused on breathing steadily through his nose; he wanted to take what Phil was giving him.

"Mmhh." He kept making noises somewhere between a moan and a whimper whenever Phil's fingers moved inside him.

Phil kept his eyes locked on Dan, watching his responses and listening to every sound he made. Phil pulled his hand back slightly before pushing back in. He wasn't going to suggest a break until Dan asked for it. Dan wanted to be submissive under Phil, and now he was. Phil continued working his hand around, turning it to stretch Dan in a different direction.

Dan felt Phil's hand twist and the stretch started to hurt a little too much. He needed a break, to get in a better headspace. He needed affection and praise for what he had taken so far.

"Mmmhh wait, mh, purple, please," he said quite quietly, breathing uneasily now, instead of clearly and focused like before.

He’d had stop and break words before, but it had always been with people who wouldn’t actually listen. It was a formality often ignored in Dan's experience, and part of his brain was still thinking that Phil would ignore him now. Phil heard him and immediately complied. Slowly and carefully, he pulled his hand out and moved to the side so he could see Dan's face.

"Hey baby," Phil said softly, laying down next to him. He gently touched Dan's chest with the hand that wasn't covered in lube. "Want me to untie your hands so you can stretch a bit? Want some water?" Phil asked, turning back into his loving self.

Dan sighed in relief and met Phil's eyes.

"I love you," he said simply. For some reason that action really hit home how perfect Phil was: he stopped. When Dan asked, he just stopped. He didn't get mad, didn't hit him, didn't laugh--he just stopped.

"You stopped, you actually just stopped when I asked." Dan felt like he was gonna cry because, honestly, it just made him so happy. "Yes, please," he answered Phil's questions, still staring at him.

"Of course I stopped," Phil said, loosening the rope and letting Dan's legs fall to the bed.  They were still in the spreader, but at least they weren’t lifted up anymore. Phil kissed Dan’s cheek and undid the handcuffs. "Take as much time as you need," Phil said, reaching over to grab the water bottle and handing it to Dan. Phil snuggled next to the younger boy, putting his arm around his waist. "You're amazing. You're doing so well."

"I'm not used to being listened to," Dan said and drank some water before he turned his head into Phil, burying his head in his neck and breathing him in. "Thank you. I'm trying really hard. I wanna make you pleased with me," he said softly.

"I'm already very pleased with you," Phil praised him again, kissing the top of his head. "Well, that's what our safe words were for, so I knew what you need without confusion. If I didn't listen to them, it would defeat the purpose of everything we're doing here." Phil caressed Dan's side gently, lovingly.

"I know," Dan said. He relaxed a lot, his breathing returning to a normal level again. "I just... I forget sometimes. That you genuinely care. We’re actually doing this how it’s supposed to be; it's not a manipulated way to make me consent to abuse. I love you so fucking much." He reached Phil's cheek and turned his face so he could kiss him, trying to get as much emotion behind it as he could.

Phil kissed Dan back. He hated that anyone would ever use this on Dan to abuse him. It was an act of trust between them as lovers, not one person getting off on abusing someone else.

"I love you, too. I always will," Phil whispered, moving a bit closer to Dan to deepen the kiss as Dan couldn't move much with his legs still bound.

Dan kissed back.

"And I think dominant Phil is seriously hot," he added, smiling into the kiss.

Phil smiled, too.

"Submissive Dan is pretty sexy as well,"  Phil said, nipping at Dan's lip. "You feeling better? Wanna continue?" Phil said softly.

"Mhm," Dan mumbled and then kissed Phil one more time. "We can continue. I'm good." He pulled away, smiling a little and feeling much better.

Phil smiled and took the water bottle from Dan, setting it on the nightstand before moving back between Dan's legs and lifting them up by the bar, holding them apart.

"Keep your legs up or I'll tie them up again,” Phil warned Dan. He looked at Dan's entrance.

Part of him was unsure at first if he just wanted to fuck him or if he wanted to continue stretching him. Phil lubed up his fingers again and stuck three inside, curving them to try to hit that spot. He wanted to get Dan excited, make him beg for Phil to fuck him. Dan moaned as Phil's finger brushed against that spot. Before it had been about how much Dan could take and Phil hadn't touched that spot very much, but now his fingers were pushed against it.

"Mmhh, baby, that feels so good, thank you," he said, falling back into being Phil's sub again.

He moved his hips a little, though not much because keeping his legs up with the bar was already hard enough to do, let alone while moving. Phil grabbed the bar and pushed it back more to help hold Dan's legs up.

"Good boy, saying thank you." Phil praised him and thrusted his fingers in and out, hitting that same spot harder and harder. He moved his fingers in a way so that they dragged along the spot, making the pleasure linger longer.

Dan moaned more loudly.

"Mmhh, fuck." He started grinding down against Phil's fingers a little; it felt so good and he just wanted more. "I want you," he mumbled.

"Ask properly or you get nothing," Phil said, pressing his fingers firmly against the spot that was making Dan so responsive.

"Please, Phil, I need you so badly. Please fuck me," he said quickly as he moaned at the sensations Phil was giving him.

Dan was so tired at this point from everything that had been done to him, but he was so sensitive and all he could think about was the feeling of Phil inside him. Phil looked at Dan, who was needy and begging for him. He couldn't resist this perfect boy any longer. He pulled his fingers out and got up from the bed, picking up a few more things he wanted to use on the beautiful boy before they were finished. He picked up the [bondage tape](http://www.amazon.com/Restraint-Bondage-Tape-Roll-Black/dp/B000AOMEN2/ref=sr_1_1?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1396549320&sr=1-1&keywords=bondage+tape), ripping a piece off and picking up the two of the bullet vibrators.

"I can’t wait to be inside you. You're going to feel so good," Phil said as he lifted Dan's legs back up, getting in between him to tape a bullet vibrator to the base of his cock, however not turning it on yet. "Keep your legs up," Phil said and lubed up his own cock.

He lined himself up with Dan's entrance and smoothly pushed inside, Dan nice and stretched already. Phil gripped onto the bar, pushing Dan's legs up farther.

Dan looked at Phil, a little confused as to he taped the bullet to the base of his cock, but he was quickly distracted as he felt Phil slip into him.

"Mmh, yes," he muttered, happy to be getting what he asked for. His legs were up high as Phil forced them up even further with his grip on the bar. "God, I love having you inside me. Thank you," he moaned.

Phil smiled and slowly started thrusting in and out of him, earning some soft moans. Then Phil turned on the bullet. He put it at a low setting, but the vibrations were directly to Dan’s cock. Phil started thrusting more quickly. He couldn't reach much over the bar to touch Dan's chest and it was beginning to be a nuisance, but he didn't want to remove the spreader just yet.

Dan moaned more loudly when Phil turned the bullet on, his wrists struggling against the handcuffs as half of him wanted to pull them off while the other half loved how they felt. He was worried, though. On one hand, Dan was already fairly close because of all the other treatments he had experienced so far, and now with the direct vibrations Phil was scared he would get there too quickly. Yet, on the other hand, he was thankful for the stimulation as his cock had felt neglected up until this point.

Phil continued his thrusts. The boy underneath him wasn't as active as he usually was--there was less movement in his hips--but Phil liked it because it meant he had made this boy lose himself in sex. That was something only Phil could do to him. Phil thrusted harder, gripping tightly to the bar. He wanted it out of his way so he could lean over Dan and wrap the boy’s legs around his waist. Phil kept the motion up of his hips as he fumbled with the belts on Dan's ankles. He undid the bar and threw it to the floor. He picked up the other bullet and turned it on, leaning over Dan's body and teasing it against one of Dan's nipples.

Dan's back arched when the bullet ran over his nipple.

"Mmhh, good, Phil, I love you," he muttered. "Fuck me harder? Please?" His eyes were half lidded and he wasn't even moving his hips, just letting Phil fuck into him as he lay there and took it.

Dan had said please so Phil complied, pounding harder and harder and watching the boy’s body shake underneath him with each thrust. It was so beautiful. Phil put his hand to Dan's neck again, not restricting his airflow but just letting Dan feel that Phil had control of him. Phil could decide to do anything he wanted and Dan was helpless.

"I love you too," Phil said, running his thumb over Dan's pulse.

Phil reached down and turned the bullet up more, watching Dan's response as harder vibrations traveled through him. Dan's mouth fell open a little and his eyes closed for a minute as he was overloaded with sensations. He made a higher pitched moan when Phil turned the bullet up and swallowed harshly when Phil's hand was again pressed to his neck. He didn't attempt to say anything this time, just lazily looked up at Phil as he let him do whatever he wanted. Phil dropped the vibrator from his hand and leaned more over Dan, angling his thrusts harder to hit the spot that would drive Dan wild. Phil started kissing along Dan's collar.

Dan whimpered a little, turning his head to look at Phil as he kissed along his collar. Every time he hit that spot inside him he let out a loud moan, not holding anything back as he was too far gone.

"Ph-Phil, if you keep the bullet there, I’m gonna come too quickly," he said, sounding a little panicked. "Mmmh, fuck, Phil," he moaned and rolled his hips down onto Phil's cock, trying to draw him forever deeper.

"Are you?" Phil asked, looking at Dan with lustful eyes. Phil sat back and grabbed hold of Dan's cock, pressing his thumb over the tip of it. "You're not allowed to come till I say you can," Phil ordered, pushing deep inside Dan and holding there. "I'm not moving it," Phil said in his low voice.

Dan was a little worried now; he didn't know if he could hold back with direct stimulation like that.

"Mmhh," he just moaned in response. He wasn't on the edge yet, but it was fast approaching.

"Not yet, but soon," he answered. When Phil stopped inside him, Dan let out a loud breath, loving how it felt to be filled by him.

Phil ran his other hand along Dan's stomach and pushed down on the soft skin. He started moving in and out and could feel himself pushing against Dan's stomach. This was one of Phil's favorite sensations. It made Dan tighter and the whole thing was just hot. He could actually feel himself inside the boy.

"You better ask permission," Phil said, his thumb running over Dan's slit.

Dan groaned when he felt Phil push down on his stomach. He liked how much Phil seemed to like doing that, to feel himself inside him. Dan nodded, then moaned loudly.

"Fuck, Phil, I'm close. Please, please, can I?" he said sounding needy and slutty, but he didn't care. "I need to come, please, let me come."

Phil was tempted for a moment, loving how Dan was sounding begging, but he felt he could push him a little more.

"No," Phil said and put his thumb on Dan's slit, preventing him from coming. But he didn't remove the bullet or stop his thrusts; he didn't want Dan to go soft and not be able to come at all. He just wanted to build him up just a little more. "Beg some more, Dan."

Dan whimpered and stopped any movement he was making, focusing on not coming. He was over the edge but holding it back, his cock twitching with the effort as it built up inside him.

"Ohfuckplease," he gasped out, eyes closing and face screwing up. "Please, I can't hold it, please, I need it, oh shit." His hands balled into fists as he waited, hoping Phil gave him permission because he was gonna start coming regardless soon, and he didn't want to let him down.

Phil liked this response; Dan needed Phil to tell him it was okay to come and he would do his best to hold back until Phil said so.

"Fine, come," Phil said, pulling out of Dan and quickly working his mouth over Dan's cock. He could feel the vibrations from the bullet in the tip of Dan's cock. He dragged his tongue along the slit a couple times as he waited for Dan to come.

Dan gasped loudly, not expecting to feel Phil's mouth around him. The shock made him stop holding back and he came suddenly without giving any warning into Phil's mouth. He moaned loudly, thrusting up into his mouth, unable to control the action because he was so far gone. He kept coming for longer than usual because of how much Phil had built him up, muttering Phil's name over and over until he finally stopped and just lay there breathing heavily, residual moans escaping him. Everything seemed to blank out, and all he could focus on was breathing as the world seemed to fade from around him. His body stilled, and he stopped thrusting, legs still open for Phil to use his body as he lay there.

Phil kept his mouth around Dan's cock. His come filled his mouth and he swallowed some of it, but still kept some of the salty liquid on his tongue. He lifted his head up and opened his mouth, showing Dan what he still had even though the younger boy seemed so far gone. Phil lifted the boys legs up, rolling Dan back so he was rolled up onto his upper back and shoulders, ass directly up in the air. He worked inside Dan, pulling him open with four fingers all in different directions. He then pushed his tongue inside Dan, letting the come from his tongue slip inside Dan's body. Phil pushed it down inside more with his fingers. When Phil felt he had all the come off his tongue he pulled back, licking his lips and lowering Dan back to the bed, not waiting another moment to push back inside him.

Dan was pretty gone, but he still saw what Phil did and felt his own come get pushed inside him.

"Holy shit, really?" he moaned, loving that Phil's was fucking Dan's come into him.

"So fucking hot, shit," he whined.

His breathing was all over the place and physically he had almost turned to putty again. He stared at the ceiling, making small little moans and whimpers as he became less and less responsive, but still loving that Phil was using his body now to get off.

"Want your come, too," Dan muttered.

Phil moaned, thrusting inside Dan harder and faster drawing himself closer. Dan's body was tight inside although the rest of him was like a rag doll.

"Shit, fuck," Phil moaned. He hadn't built himself up as much as Dan, but this whole time he had been so turned on, watching Dan be stretched and moaning.

Now Phil was finally getting his full release. He pushed deep inside Dan, about to come when he remembered Dan liked when Phil came with just the tip inside. He was already coming but pulled back till just the tip was in again and finished his orgasm there. He let out some residual moans. He could practically collapse on top of Dan, but there was still one more thing Phil needed to do. Phil leaned over Dan, removing the bullet-- the battery of which seemed to have died at a perfect time-- and kissing his lips gently.

"I love you," Phil whispered against the younger boy’s lips.

Dan moaned and bit his lip when he felt the warmth of Phil's come filling him for the second time that night. He felt so filled up; Phil had come inside him twice and he had his own come inside him, too. Phil's lips pressed against his own and he kissed back a little, still out of it but moving his lips gently against Phil's.

Phil smiled and gently moved his lips against Dan's. This was amazing; his head was so lost for words, trying to wrap around everything that had just happened. Dan had fully submitted to him and it was the hottest thing in the world. Phil never imagined sex like that could be that way. Phil still wanted to use the cups; he hadn't forgotten. But first, some cuddles and helping Dan work down from his subspace were in order.

Dan sighed a little against Phil's lips, kissing back a little more actively. He wanted his arms back and to touch Phil, and he made an irritated noise as he pulled his wrists harshly against the metal holding him in place. Phil laughed softly. Dan was ready to be un-cuffed. Phil moved, getting up more on the bed and un-cuffing Dan. He noted how red the boy’s wrists were. Phil hoped it didn't hurt too badly now.

Dan didn't care right now that his wrists were raw; his hands went straight to Phil, running over his shoulders and chest as he was finally able to freely touch him.

Phil leaned down back over Dan, pressing their foreheads together and smiling. He wasn't even sure what to say. What did he need to say? They were both just taking in the moment.

"We have one more thing, baby: the [fire cups](http://www.amazon.com/Unknown-Fire-Cupping-Set/dp/B0091WBJTO/ref=sr_1_41?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1396549731&sr=1-41&keywords=fire+cupping)," Phil said, still staying close to Dan and allowing the younger boy to touch his body as much as he wanted.

Dan nodded, not speaking. He was so tired, but would stay with it until Phil was done with him. His hands ran all over Phil's skin greedily, touching as much as he could.

"Roll over," Phil said, pushing Dan onto his stomach. He hoped the boy wouldn't fall asleep on him while he was working.

Phil got up and grabbed the new items he needed. Phil would be lying if he said he wasn't anxious, but he was sure this wouldn't hurt. It would create some suction, but just overall feel nice if he could get the heat inside the glass right. Phil had read the instructions very carefully while Dan was in the shower earlier, and he was sure he knew what to do. He began rubbing lube all over Dan's back, making sure to put some around the lip of the glass too. He took the lighter in his hand with the glass and began heating the air inside. He wasn't sure how long to heat for, so he waited a few seconds, not wanting the glass to get too warm. Then he quickly placed it on Dan's skin.

Dan rolled where Phil placed him; he knew that this would be a new feeling and was actually quite excited underneath the post-orgasm haze. He felt a cup get out on his skin and the warm air against him quickly created a warm pulling sensation. The heat seemed to feel warmer the longer it was on his skin and he made a small whining sound, but then it started to cool again and he sighed happily.

"Feels nice," he muttered.

Phil smiled, glad he had done it right. He felt a bit more confident heating the next glass. Phil rubbed the spot he was going to place the next glass before bringing the lighter under the bulb and heating the air.

"Glad you like it," Phil said. He then put another glass on Dan's skin.

Dan had the same reaction this time, still feeling very submissive so he just lay there while the heated air warmed his skin.

"Is it marking?" he thought out loud, making another small whine as it got to its hottest point followed by a contented noise as it started to cool.

"I don't know yet. I haven't removed the first one," Phil said softly, pushing down on the skin next to one of the bulbs to release the air. There was a faint red ring on Dan's skin, but it probably wouldn't stay past tomorrow, he noted. "Yeah, it left a mark. It looks so sexy on you," Phil said and gently touched the skin there. It was still warm.

Dan smiled and shuddered a little, Phil's fingers feeling nice against the sensitive skin.

"I love being marked by you, in any way. I just really like it. Thank you," he said, as over the evening he had gotten used to saying thank you after getting anything he liked.

"Good boy." Phil laughed softly as he heard the “thank you,” but didn't comment more on it yet. He would talk Dan back into his normal self soon. As for now, he repeated the treatment, placing another bulb on the skin. "Just one more, okay?" Phil said and put the last glass down.

He looked over his work. Dan had four glass bulbs on him, suctioning to his skin by the cooling air. Phil wanted to experience this himself; he hoped sometime Dan would use it on him.

"How's it feel?"

"Tight and warm. It's nice. There’s a little burn, but then it fades," Dan mumbled, sounding sleepy, but still coherent enough to have a conversation. "I like it. What does it look like?"

Phil laughed a little.

"Not like much, you just have some glasses on your back." Phil pushed down on the skin, releasing one. That one had been there the longest and left a pretty decent mark. "But when you remove them it leaves a red ring on your skin," Phil said, slowly removing the rest of them and looking over the marks. "We're all done, baby," Phil said, moving his hands up to massage Dan's shoulders gently.

"M'kay," Dan said softly. "Did I do well?" he added, looking over his shoulder at Phil.

"You were perfect. Stay still, okay? I'm just gonna go get a rag from the bathroom," Phil said, leaning over and kissing Dan's head.

He didn't bother putting underwear on; he just walked to the bathroom, getting a cold, wet rag to wash Dan down. Phil returned to the room and it looked like Dan was about to pass out. Their room was a mess with toys and rope and lube everywhere, but Dan looked so peaceful. Phil crawled on the bed and started rubbing down Dan's back. It was Phil's job as Dan's dominant to take care of him physically while also talking him down from that headspace. Dan couldn't remain in complete submission for long after everything was done.

"We're all done. What did you like best?" Phil asked, running the cool rag up Dan's shoulders.

Dan turned slightly towards Phil when he was close to him again. He heard his question, but wasn't ready to talk. Instead, he just made a small humming noise to let Phil know he heard him, but wasn't able to answer yet. It was intense and he still felt lost under the combinations of pain and pleasure that he had felt, but it was a nice, new feeling: under someone else’s control, but with no fear of it being abused.

Phil smiled gently. He was proud of himself for putting Dan into this state.

"Love, come back to me," Phil said, running one of his hands up the back of Dan’s neck and into his hair. "Did you enjoy yourself?" His hand still massaged the base of Dan’s neck.

Dan nodded and extended his neck into the massage.

"Yeah," he said sounding sleepy. "Wa' nice," Dan said quietly. He shivered a little, feeling cold now that all their movement had stopped entirely.

Phil leaned down and kissed the top of Dan’s head.

"Tell me what you liked most." Phil pulled the rag away and rubbed his warm hands along Dan’s back to soothe the muscles. "Remember what we did? What about the sensation knife, how was that?"

“It was intimate. I liked everything. I like you." He smiled a little.

Phil smiled; Dan was so cute.

"I love you," Phil said, kissing Dan’s shoulder and back. "Your water is on the nightstand if you’re thirsty. I’m just cleaning off your back."

Phil had finished wiping off the lube and cooling the red marks as much as he could. Then he gently turned Dan over so he was facing him. Dan wasn't in any restraints, so he could do whatever he wanted.

Dan didn't really feel like he had control of his body yet, so he was still moving how Phil put him, not really moving when he was rolled over apart from to massage one of his wrists with his other hand. He just wanted to go to sleep, but he knew Phil was trying to work him down first.

Phil met Dan’s eyes.

"Hey, you," Phil said and lay down to cuddle Dan. "Mmm, I’m tired, how are you feeling? Is normal Dan back?" Phil teased and kissed Dan’s cheek a couple times. "You were really amazing, you know that? You took being stretched really well."

"I liked it, letting you stretch me that much. You did it so well, without hurting too badly," he said with his eyes closed as he leaned into Phil’s cuddles. "Normal Dan is on his way back," he added, smiling a little.

"Hmm, good" Phil said, still letting the rag run over the younger boy’s body to help relax all of his muscles. "I liked it too, everything was super fun. I just wanna snuggle you now," Phil said, kissing Dan’s face a couple times.

"I wanna snuggle too..." he paused for a second, still feeling a bit different. "Please can we? And can we be under the blankets?" He was asking for Phil’s permission for everything, the habit taking a little longer to drop.

"Are you asking because you want me to get the blankets up or cause you feel like you have to ask permission still?" Phil said, moving to get up and clearing the bed of toys and lube bottles. He then moved back next to Dan and tugged down the blankets, making Dan roll his body so Phil could get him under it. Once Dan was tucked in, Phil crawled in next to him, putting his arm around Dan’s waist.

Dan blushed a little.

"Sorry," he said, then snuggled close to Phil, still happy for the freedom to do so. "I just, I haven't ever actually submitted before. I've acted the part, but not actually done it."

"You submitting was the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen," Phil said, blushing as well. "I never thought this would be something I was into, but I loved that." Phil tangled his legs between Dan’s. "I’m just trying to talk you back into my normal feisty Dan again."

Dan blushed a little more, but looked up and met Phil’s eyes. "You really liked it? You're not just saying that to make me feel confident or whatever?" Dan kissed Phil’s cheek. "I loved submitting to you: having you over me, doing whatever you wanted to me, using my body, playing and testing me. It was amazing, and it made me want to make you happy so much. Like, it's so strange, but it became the most important thing in the world-- to do it well, to impress you." He glanced away, a little embarrassed, but mostly he was just happy. "Thank you for helping me experience that. I would never want to with anyone else."

Phil smiled widely at Dan. This was perfect; he had fixed yet another memory of Dan’s, shown him what it was like when someone loves you and you trust that person. Phil kissed Dan’s forehead. "I love you so much, Dan, I really do."

"I love you, too. You're my family," he said, shrugging. "You're my everything," he yawned and snuggled closer to Phil. "I'm so tired."

"You’re my everything, too" Phil whispered, tightening his arms around Dan. "Go to sleep, baby," Phil said softly, his eyes closing as he prepared to fall asleep with the other boy.

Dan started to drift off instantly, muttering "thank you" just before he fell asleep. He meant thank you for everything, for saving him from the nothing he had before Phil. Dan fell asleep thinking about how lucky he was to have Phil.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how was that? ouo this is the last sex scene of the story guys, everything else is angst and fluff


	42. Angry Messages

The rest of the week they stayed close to one another; the experience seemed to make Dan more open with his emotions and both of them felt generally more comfortable with each other. Before long, it was the weekend. Friday went okay--Dan was only taking one customer per night now--and his Friday guy was fairly tame. He got home reasonably early and cuddled with Phil for the rest of the night. Saturday night it started mostly the same, with a reasonably tame customer, and things seemed to be okay. Dan wasn't hurt, and he felt content with his life outside of Phil for the first time in a while.

He got out of the shower and dressed, doing his hair roughly because he was only going home. Then he stepped into his room to collect the stuff he’d left in there earlier, but was met with a surprise: his boss was sitting on his bed, leaning back a little and looking relaxed. Dan, on the other hand, felt the complete opposite. Flashbacks of worse times came to mind, times when his boss would have his way with him.

"Hey..." Dan said, sounding a little unsure. His boss was hardly even seen around, let alone in their rooms. "What can I do for you?"

The boss stood up, moving slowly closer and closer to Dan, deliberately taking his steps with time to make Dan more uneasy.

"How many people have fucked you this week?" he asked, his tone cold.

To him, Dan was just an item to be sold for profit, and Dan was his best item in stock. He could take a beating better than anyone else because of the way the boss had trained him. Those extreme customers always paid more, and then they would come back when they liked what they’d paid for.

Dan looked away. He could never hold his boss’s stares.

"Three, but this last guy paid more than I usually get for two clients on a Saturday night. So you haven't lost any profit from me, if you think I'm losing you any." He said it emotionlessly, slipping back into item mode as Grey, rather than human mode as Dan.  He took a small step back from him.

"What about outside of work?" the boss asked, moving in like a snake and cornering Dan. After a second, he decided Dan was answering too slowly and started shouting.

"Slut, who fucks you when you're not here?! Your ass is to be sold only! Someone fucking you for free is stealing money from me!"

The boss continued shouting. He wasn't taller than Dan, but he was much broader and more built, physically more aggressive and dominant than Dan.

"No one. Only customers. No one else is fucking me," Dan replied, rather calmly given the situation.

Phil had been a customer, so he technically wasn't lying. Dan looked up at his boss, braver than he had ever dared to be. Over the last few months, he’d started to learn that he had worth, far more worth than his boss tried to tell him he had. But Dan was scared of him nevertheless; he had only bad memories of this man.

“And anyway, as long as when I’m here I meet my client quota, I’m not making you lose any money. I can fuck who I want out of work hours. It's not relevant unless I’m bringing in less money, which I’m not. You know I bring you more than anyone else." Dan’s cheeks were red with the mixture of fear and anger as he stared his boss down, hands shaking.

The boss was taken aback by Dan's sudden burst of confidence. He had never questioned any of the boss’s stipulations before.

"You belong to me,” he growled. “Don’t you remember what I did for you? You’d be a basket-case runaway without me. No home, no job. You’re the product I sell, so no, you can’t fuck whoever you want.” His lips curled up on one side before he grabbed Dan's hair and yanked him back so Dan had to lean in an uncomfortable position. "You're a whore, do you understand? All you’re for is selling your ass and your cock and making some money. Now, tell me. Who the fuck is that man who comes by here for you all the time?"

The boss had been watching them for quite some time. He knew they kissed and were intimate, and Dan had an obvious preference for Phil when Phil was at the club. One would even go so far as to say they seemed to have feelings for each other. That was something that needed to be taken care of right away, in Dan’s boss’s mind. If Dan had feelings, he would end up leaving the club.

Dan winced and made a whining sound but stopped quickly, not wanting to give his boss the satisfaction.

"He is a customer. He pays me, so why does it matter who he is?" he said, sounding irritated. He didn't want his boss to think about Phil, to know him. His boss was scary and Phil was perfect, and Dan didn't want to talk about him with the awful man looming over him.

The boss pulled Dan by his hair so his face was closer.

"Don't take me for a fool! I see you two together! Don't think for one second that he doesn't see you as anything more than an ass to fuck."

The boss never cared about Dan's self worth, only his monetary worth. If he could resell him as a virgin again, he would just to bring in that money again. To him, Phil seemed like a threat, someone who would take away his best selling item, possibly only to sell it again.

"Get to your knees," the boss said, tugging at Dan's hair harshly but then letting go of him, waiting for the boy to lower himself.

Dan made an irritated noise and stepped back.

"No, what for? I haven't done anything to you. You haven't lost any money from me. This is ridiculous," he said.

But despite saying this, Dan was starting to falter. He was scared because it was only them in the room, and he knew the boss was stronger than him. He didn't know what was going to happen--if it was going to get sexually abusive or just plain abusive--but he knew he didn't want it.

"I own you, and I want to send a message back to your mock pimp," the boss said, sternly undoing his belt for reasons still unknown to Dan. "Get on your fucking knees where you belong, slut."

Dan was shaking more now and he gave in; he knew this game. He wasn't getting out of here until he did what he was told. He got on his knees in front of his boss, but without looking up.

"He's not any type of pimp," Dan shot back.

The boss pulled his belt off slowly, letting Dan take in what was about to happen and get himself worked up, scared. It was just a show of power right now; Dan had to stay on his knees and accept what was going to happen.

"You’re a whore, nothing better than that, and you never will be," the boss said, bringing the belt down lashing across the younger boy’s face. "Just a slut, you got that? You’re only worth the number of men I can get to fuck you in a night." He hit Dan with the belt again, making loud cracking sounds with it. "I'd let every man out there fuck you until you couldn't move anymore, just to get your body to bring in more money." He cracked the belt over Dan's shoulder, too.

Dan yelped loudly; he was being hit with a lot of force and he just had to sit there and take it.

"You’ve already arranged that, though, haven't you, organized people to fuck me till I can't move?" Dan said. It was brave and stupid, he knew, but he was angry at being treated like this.

The boss kicked him in the chest, knocking him to the ground.

"I have, you bitch, and don't think I won’t do it again. You have no fucking clue how much people would pay me directly to do all sorts of things to you." The boss whipped the belt back against his face. "I could sell you right now like the prize of an auction, you understand me? That's all you’re worth, and that’s all anyone will ever want you for." He stepped on Dan's face, pushing him into the carpet. "I hope your mock pimp gets my warning. Next time I might not be so gentle with you," he said, putting his belt back on and leaving the room.

Dan just sat there, staring at the wall. He didn't retaliate or say anything back, just listened to his boss leave and continued to stare at the space on the wall. He felt like internally he’d regressed to the mindset of that scared sixteen-year-old boy sleeping on the floor because the bed had held too many bad memories, getting kicked and abused and used up all the time until it became normal.

And now it was worse, because Dan's new standard of living--with Phil--was so much better than this abuse. Fear kicked in, fear that the boss would come back, so Dan got up quickly. He was already dressed, so he made a quick exit out the back. He took the train home instead of a car, as he didn't want anything to do with the club at that moment. He sat and stared into space during the train ride, earning himself a few concerned looks, but Dan ignored them. He thought about what the boss had said, about if there was truth in it. Maybe Phil was lying, maybe Dan was just a whore, and maybe that was all he could ever be.

The train finally arrived and Dan headed home, craving hugs, love, protection, and everything else that Phil offered. But when he went into their room, he saw that Phil was asleep and Dan didn't want to wake him. He didn't want to disrupt his peaceful state with another Dan drama; he hated how much he disrupted Phil's life with drama he brought home with him. So he silently undressed and slipped in beside Phil. It was dark, so even if Phil momentarily woke up, he wouldn't be able to see.

Phil didn't remember falling asleep, but suddenly he felt Dan's warm body crawling into bed.

"Mmm, hey, baby, I missed you," Phil mumbled, sleep too heavy on him to do much more. He wrapped his arms around Dan.

"Missed you, too. Go back to sleep," Dan said quietly as he snuggled up to him and pretended.

For the night, he could pretend he was fine, that this didn't happen, that the morning wasn't going to bring questions. For now, they were fine. With that in mind, Dan fell asleep with tears in the corners of his eyes, half of him relieved to be home with Phil, the other half feeling like he should leave because all he was was a burden.

When Phil woke in the morning, the other side of the bed was empty. He reached out a bit frantically for Dan. He wished he hadn't fallen asleep while reading last night; he liked waiting for Dan to get home before sleeping. However, he did remember the boy coming into bed.

"Dan?" Phil called out, getting up.

Sometimes when Dan woke up before him, he would be in the kitchen cooking breakfast. Phil padded down the hall, but before he made it to the kitchen he realized the bathroom light was on and the door was closed. Phil knocked on the door.

"Dan, you in there?" Phil called out.

Dan was quiet, not answering right away. He was trying to make his face look normal, but it wasn't working and he was just emotionally working himself up instead.

"Um, yup, I’ll be out soon," he said, sounding upset but trying to hide it for Phil's sake.

Phil heard the bit of strain in Dan's voice.

"Everything okay?" he asked. There was hesitation, and it was too quiet. Phil felt rude just bursting into the bathroom. Still, he was a bit concerned, so he cracked the door open slightly. "Dan?"

"I'm fine," Dan said with a bit more emotion in his voice this time. He knew he couldn't hide it, but he still stood in a way that hid most of his face with his hair as Phil cracked the door open a little.

Phil could see Dan in the mirror, so he opened the door more, his stomach tensing as he saw Dan hiding his face.

"What happened?" Phil asked, his voice a bit strained.

He was so sick of this. He hadn't seen anything yet, but his mind was already jumping to conclusions. Phil stepped closer to Dan, putting his hand up to move Dan's hair aside.

Dan made a small whimpering noise and attempted to turn away, but that only lifted his hair more.

“Just don't, just don't look, okay? I don't want this anymore, coming home with my problems and messing us up. Just ignore it."

Phil grabbed Dan's shoulder to prevent him from moving away as he pushed Dan's hair behind his ear to get a good look at Dan's beaten face, harsh bruises near his eye, and the skin blistering along his cheekbone. Phil took a sharp intake of breath. Someone hurt his Dan again, and he knew they had no reason for it; this boy had never done anything wrong to anyone.

"This isn't okay, Dan," Phil said, staring at the younger boy even though his eyes were averted. "Dan, you can’t keep getting hurt like this. I don't want my boyfriend coming home beaten all the time," Phil said in a bit harsher of a voice. He was angry--not at Dan in particular, but at the fact that someone dared to hurt him. "You've got to quit, alright? That's the end of it. You're not going back to that club where one of your 'clients' is just going to beat you. What happened to the rule of no leaving marks? This shouldn't happen at your work. At any other job, if you got hurt, they’d be paying for you to take a leave of absence. This is just wrong," Phil said, holding firmly to Dan's arm still but not gripping him too tightly.

Dan was shaking, Phil's harsh tone reminding him of the boss the previous night. "It's fine. It doesn't even hurt, it's fine... it wasn't a client," Dan said really quietly, still not looking at Phil. Dan knew if he looked at Phil he would break down, and he wanted to show him he could be strong. Phil put his other hand on Dan's cheek that was less bruised.

"It hurts me to see you like this, though," Phil said, leaning up to kiss Dan's cheek before the last bit of what Dan had said clicked in his mind. "What do you mean it wasn't a client? Did someone attack you on your way home?" Phil asked, trying to turn Dan's face. The younger boy remained turned away, though. Dan just shook his head, wincing as the action caused him pain.

"It doesn't matter. What matters is that I’m here, and you’re here, and no one’s massively hurt, and we're fine, okay? We're fine."

"Dan, tell me please," Phil said, his voice quivering a little. His hand caressed Dan's arm gently, trying to ease the younger boy.

Dan made an irritated noise before looking at Phil, his voice turning a little monotone as he spoke.

"It was my boss, a message to my ‘wannabe pimp’: that I’m his ass to sell, that that's all I am worth, and that sleeping with anyone else out of work loses him money. He wanted to give you this message to say he's watching, pretty much," he said coldly. "He said that all I am to you is an ass to fuck and if I think differently, then I’m delusional. He thinks you’re trying to steal me to sell me yourself, to become my private pimp," he swallowed harshly, "but it's fine. I'm fine. We're fine, right?" he said, desperately needing them to be.

"Oh, Dan." Phil felt like his heart had broken as Dan spoke.

He pulled him close into a hug, as reality hit him: these bruises were his fault. Dan was in pain because of him. But at the same time, it wasn't his fault. Dan shouldn't be hurt in his work place, especially not by his boss.

"I'm so sorry… this shouldn't be this way. You're not going back there. I'll find you a job, okay? Any job, any job is better than this. Did you ever actually believe him for a moment? Think that I just want to sell you?" Phil said, pulling his face back to look at Dan's.

Dan didn't speak, just blushed a little in embarrassment.

"When someone is whipping you across the face with a belt, it's hard not to believe them," he said, blinking away tears. "I felt like I did when I was sixteen, you know? Just like nothing, so I started thinking, why would you want nothing for yourself, when you could maybe make money from me? I know you don't think that. I'm sorry." He was crying now, but still silently.

"I can't leave. What if he comes after me, or you--oh god--what if he tries to hurt you? No, I can't." Dan started freaking out, but pulled Phil into a hug. "Not you, not ever you, you're too good."

"Shh, it's okay. I've got you. You're safe. He's not going to come after me, okay? It's you I'm worried about," Phil said, pulling Dan tighter into him. "Every time you go to work, I'm terrified, and this just proved it. It's scary not knowing if you're going to come back home the same way you left. Dan, please. If I find you another job, will you take it?" Phil begged. He couldn't handle doing this anymore, but there was no way he was ever going to leave Dan, either.

"I'm not qualified for anything else. You know what I'm like with people; I’m so bad when I'm not in whore mode," he said, sounding angry at himself. "I can say anything to anyone when I’m selling myself as Grey, but as soon as I meet people as Dan, I’m shy and act like a fucking child."

"You're giving up before even trying," Phil said calmly, not wanting to make Dan scared but still trying to get his point through to him. "You’ll learn how to deal with people, though. You're basically a sixteen-year-old--not out of school, no college, no uni--but you can still get a job even at that age." Phil rubbed Dan's back gently. "Just, whatever you make in any other job will be a lot less than what you're making now, but what does that matter? It's not like we're going to lose our apartment."

"But I don't want to be dependent on you. I want to keep earning well, and I do right now. This is all I have. It's the only thing I haven't had to go without since I was homeless: money. It hasn't been an issue, so giving that up, it scares me so much," he said, hugging Phil closely. "I don't expect you to understand, but my earnings are the only thing that makes me feel like I do okay for myself."

Phil clung to Dan. The younger boy kept shooting down everything he said, but there was also no way Phil would allow this to continue.

"You wouldn't be dependent on me," Phil said, leaning his face into Dan's shoulder. "Money is something we can work through, but I don't know how to handle letting you go alone every night to a place where you are likely to get abused. I love you," Phil said a bit sadly. Dan's face was badly beaten and would stay bruised for a few days, he knew. It would be one thing if it had been an accident, but it wasn't.

"Want me to make you an ice pack for your face? It’ll help with the swelling"

Dan shook his head.

"It's fine. It doesn't hurt," he said, but when he looked up and met Phil's eyes, his ‘I'm tough’ demeanor melted away and his eyes began to well up again. He knew could let it out with Phil; he didn't need to be tough all the time. "Yes, please," he said, wiping his eyes quickly. It was okay to let it out, but he still didn't like crying in front of Phil.

Seeing Dan cry was one of the most heartbreaking sights for anyone to see. Phil moved his hands delicately to Dan's face, cupping it gently and looking over the damage.

"It's okay, Dan, you can cry. You don't have to be brave," Phil whispered, kissing Dan's nose. "Let's go to the kitchen, okay?" Phil accepted defeat for the moment; it would just be cruel if he kept hounding Dan when he was in such bad physical shape.

Dan followed along with Phil, holding his hand like a child as he led him to the kitchen.

"It's not that bad," he said, sniffling. "I just, the stuff he said, it got to me. I was scared." He looked at Phil again. "He said he could sell me off like an auction, and how they would do really bad things me to, that he can organize guys to buy and hurt me again."

"No one’s going to hurt you here," Phil said, turning his back to make an ice pack. He wrapped it up in a small dish towel and knelt in front of where Dan was sitting. "It’s gonna be cold," Phil warned before gently placing it against Dan's cheek. "Hold that please," Phil said, getting up, making a damp cloth, and returning to his spot in front of Dan.

"You aren't something to sell. You're not." Phil was getting angry, his hand gripping a bit to Dan's thigh as Phil ran the cloth along his face to cool the skin. He wished he could have treated Dan last night to help with the blistering.

Dan shrugged.

"Well... I am. That's the definition of me." He looked at Phil's hand on his thigh. "I know you hate it." He paused for a second before adding, "I just, I have to behave. I dunno, work harder, get a better reputation, I don't know. Then he might not hurt me again." He knew that was only a temporary solution, but the beating had almost reset him to a point where he was thinking like he used to again.

"Dan," Phil whined. He leaned forward, pressing his forehead into Dan's chest. "Might isn't good enough."

He didn't lift Dan’s face up as it was too difficult to argue with the younger boy. He didn't want to start a fight between them, but he also was refusing to let Dan go back to work at that place.

"I can deal with you sleeping with other guys, okay? That's work. But you getting hurt--by your boss, by anyone--it's illegal, and you could file a criminal charge against them for assault. Escorts have legal rights like that, too."

"But he would get mad and come after me if I ever told people, or if I left. He would do something bad, Phil, worse than everything else," he said quietly, his hands going to Phil's head and cradling it a little. "I'm sorry. We’ll be fine, and my face will heal. I’ll look normal again."

"We will be fine, yeah, but that doesn't make this okay." Phil lifted his face to return to treating Dan's injury. "I hate arguing with you. There's no point; you do what you want anyway, but can you at least give me a little bit of a compromise anywhere? If it were me getting hurt at work, you would have a fit," Phil said with a bit of a sigh in his voice.

"I don't do what I want, Phil. Really? Because I want this, right?" he said, sounding a little stroppy now. "Don't phrase it like that; it sounds like I’m just being selfish, and I'm not. Neither of us want me to do this. But you're not in it, you don't get it." He looked away but let Phil continue to fix his face. "Yeah, if you suddenly started getting hurt at work, I would have a fit, but this has been going on since well before you. You knew what you signed up for."

Phil made a frustrated sound at Dan's last comment; that was a bit of a low kick.

"I knew you’d be sleeping with other men. That's part of what your job is. Getting beaten by your boss isn't part of that," Phil said, staring at Dan, but the younger boy was looking away still. "And that was my fault, yeah? He hurt you to tell me you belong to him, ‘cause he thinks I'm just going to start selling you myself." Phil's voice softened, looking at Dan with the bruises on his face, knowing they might not be there if it hadn’t been for Phil. Phil pulled Dan's hand holding the ice pack up away from his face and leaned up, kissing his cheek. "I'm sorry, I just want to keep you safe, that's all I'm trying to do."

Dan kept quiet for a minute and then spoke quietly.

"It's not because of you. Well, it is, but it's not. I get abused by customers, too. It's like I'm just this thing to lust over, then fuck and discard, to use to vent anger and frustration, less than human, just a whore." He sighed and met Phil's eyes. "I just wish that this wasn't my life, but it is, for now. I'm not gonna let him beat me down that easily. I have more worth than he says. I know that, and it's because I’m human, not because people want to fuck me," he said, a tear slipping down his cheek.

"You are human, and your body is yours. Someday you’ll be able to say that yourself without hesitation." Phil kissed Dan’s cheek. "Love you." Phil smiled softly, knowing he was close as he was going to get to an agreement with Dan.

Dan was getting better and seeing he had worth. And soon enough, he would be able to leave on his own, if Phil could just wait it out a little bit longer.

"Want me to make you lunch?" Phil asked. It was past noon already, but they always woke up around that time.

"I can help," Dan said softly and leaned to kiss Phil softly. "Thank you, for being you."

Phil kissed Dan back.

"I'm still not happy, you know, but we'll be fine." They would always be fine, come what may. They'd figure it out. As long as they were still together, they could handle anything.

"I know," Dan said softly. "He won’t win, not in the end."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HANG IN THERE! ITS GONNA GET WORSE BEFORE IT GETS BETTER BUT THEY WILL HAVE A HAPPY ENDING!  
> with that being said, say hi to the boss, isn't he so lovable, such a nice understanding and generous guy.


	43. Damaged Goods

Another few weeks went by, and then it was Monday. Phil pounced on Dan to wake him up, attacking his face with kisses and blowing a raspberry into his neck. Most of the bruises had faded now. Because of them, Dan had needed to stay at work longer again to make up for the discount everyone got since Dan was 'damaged.'

"Wake up, wake up, wake up," Phil said, nudging Dan. "We're going shopping today. Get up!"

Phil was already dressed and his plan for the day was to go order some furniture and go to the shopping centre to pick up a new game and buy groceries. All in all, they had a lot of things to do today. Phil liked days like this; they got to act like a real couple and do domestic couple things as simple as grocery shopping. Days like this, no one knew what went on between them in bed, nor what Dan did for a living.

Dan woke up and yawned loudly. He was more tired than usual, a little run down from having to work longer hours, but he was trying not to let it show.

"Okay, what are we shopping for?" he asked, sleepily sitting up in bed.

Phil sat back on Dan's hips.

"Things. We need to pick out a wardrobe, I wanted to get some new clothes, I need socks, ya know, things. We also need to go grocery shopping if you want to eat tonight." Phil smiled and leaned forward, kissing Dan's lips again.

Dan nodded, letting his eyes close a little but kissing back.

"Just sleepy," he said against his lips.

"I'm sorry, baby," Phil said, leaning his body into Dan’s. "I waited until two in the afternoon to wake you up," he said, his voice soft and gentle.

Dan was overworking himself now more than ever. Phil felt so guilty because in the back of his head this was his fault. He made Dan take less customers at first, drawing attention from the boss, then Dan gets beaten to send a message to Phil, and now Dan has to take more customers again. All Phil's fault.

"No, it's fine, sleepy is fine," Dan said, smiling and stretching. "Okay, I need to get ready, then we can go." Dan got ready as quick as he could, not wanting to hold Phil up any more as Phil had already waited to wake him. "I'm ready, baby," Dan said, skipping up behind Phil and hugging him from behind.

Phil smiled and put his arms around Dan's.

"Let's go," Phil said and they headed out the door.

Phil loved taking Dan out, loved showing him off. To Phil, Dan was someone to be proud of to have by his side. No one knew what Dan did for a living, so everyone who saw them together would think Phil's the lucky one. He thought that, too. There were plenty of men who lusted after Dan and got to have sex with him, but Phil was allowed deeper and that was what made him feel lucky. He didn't get to just look and admire the perfect boy, but got to cherish him at home while they slept peacefully. And right now they were off to buy things for their home. They arrived at the furniture store first.

"We don't have too much space in our bedroom, but I don't need something too big, and a small dresser could even fit in the lounge if it had to, yeah?" Phil said, looking at Dan.

Dan nodded, smiling a little.

"I am sure we will make it work somehow. We can move stuff around if need be." He liked watching Phil in shops; he was so excitable over everything, and seemed to almost over-think every decision. To Dan it was adorable. "You have a cute thinking face," he said, smiling a little wider and meeting Phil's eyes.

Phil blushed a bit.

"Y-you have a cute always face," Phil stammered a bit and started roaming the furniture store.

After careful consideration they found one that fit their needs and home and placed an order for it to come tomorrow. Next stop was clothing. Phil planned on going mainly because he needed new socks, but he knew every time he went into a store he had a tendency to look at all the shirts and be tempted to buy one; and as predicted there he was looking through the shirts.

"If there’s anything you like, too, let me know. We're practically the same size. I'm broader, but I think we still wear the same size. My clothing's your clothing," Phil said, his eyes flicking toward Dan to make sure he wasn't upset by the offer. Phil buying anything for Dan was always touchy.

Dan smiled.

"I really like this one..." he said, holding a shirt up to show Phil.

He knew it made Phil happy when he could buy him stuff, so he would let him just to make Phil smile. And Phil did smile; he liked to spoil Dan. However, the younger boy never let him do so.

"Hold onto it, I'll get it for you." Phil smiled, leaning up to kiss Dan gently. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a shirt that caught his attention."Oh Dan, this" Phil said grabbing the shirt. "This would look really good on you," Phil held the shirt up to Dan. "Or me,"  Phil said and wrapped his arms around Dan's waist. "Anything else you need here or are you ready to go grocery shopping?"

"No, I'm good now," Dan said smiling and moving closer to Phil to kiss him again.

They went to the check out and headed out on their journey to finish all their shopping for their day. They were at Tesco now, walking down the aisles with a shopping cart. Phil allowed Dan to push it while he was  busy finding what they needed. Phil skipped back to the cart putting in some items, mainly junk food at the moment. Phil's hands then returned to Dan's waist as they continued moving around the store.

Dan liked this, being with Phil in public like this, little kisses and shows of affection.

"I love you," he said spontaneously, stopping and kissing Phil's lips lightly, showing his feelings.

Phil smiled, stealing one more quick kiss.

"Love you, too,"  he whispered against Dan's lips.

Phil wasn't one too needy for public affection; he liked hugging and hand holding, and keeping his hands on Dan as much as he could, but occasional kisses like that were fine by him. While they were caught up in the moment between each other, a man was standing near them. He had been watching since they walked down the aisle, but now that they were kissing he was fed up with it. He made a loud disgusted sound.

"I don't wanna see fags making out, fuck, there are children in the store. Keep that shit to yourselves," the man said as if he was all high and mighty.

Phil glared at him. He had heard enough of these people throughout his life, but his parents were supportive of him so he learned how to just brush it off. However, Dan was not the same and Phil was protective of Dan.

Dan instantly tensed and looked at the floor, stepping back and putting distance between him and Phil. He glanced up at the man, a blush from embarrassment low on his cheeks.

"Sorry," he muttered, it sounded half defensive half upset.

Phil would have none of that, Dan backing off, and apologizing. They had nothing to apologize for. If one of them was a girl, the man wouldn't care, but because they were both boys, it was a problem. Phil put his hand on the back of Dan's head and pulled him forward, crashing their lips together and kissing Dan more deeply than before. The man was shocked for a moment. Phil guessed that no one had ever had that response to him before. Phil pulled away, letting his tongue linger on Dan's lips.

"If you don't want to see it, then stop watching us," Phil said, turning back to the man who seemed horror-struck.

"You fags are going to hell," the man stammered a bit, and Phil was pleased he had successfully thrown the man off his track. Phil started to guide Dan away so they could continue shopping in peace.

Dan kissed back, then swallowed harshly when Phil pulled back. He was a little shocked by Phil's actions, and impressed by them. He blushed, but he was smiling now. He lifted his eyes to the man and winked as they walked past.

"See you there, then," he said, giving him a smirk as he walked along with Phil again, confidence restored because Phil hadn't backed down or tried to hide them. He was proud to be seen with Dan, and so Dan was proud, too.

Phil kissed Dan's shoulder and continued walking away with Dan.

"Well done, love," Phil said smiling. He was proud of Dan; Dan didn't run away, and he was able to stand up to the man, too. No one should be allowed to talk to them like that.

They finished shopping and made their way home, Dan flopping on the couch and making grabby hands at Phil.

"I liked today. I like being out with you. It's nice."

Phil kicked off his shoes and dropped his jacket down on a chair before crawling on top of Dan and snuggling up with him.

"I love taking you out, too. We should go out to dinner sometime, yeah?" Phil said, resting his chin on Dan's chest as he looked up at him.

"Mhm, we should," Dan said, nuzzling into Phil a little. "Love you," he said, kissing his cheek and cuddling close, happy.

By the time it was Friday again, Dan was all healed and their house was looking more like theirs and not just Dan's. Phil never done this before, but he wanted to take Dan to work. He wasn't doing anything and he really just wanted to stay with Dan a little bit longer that evening. They rode the train together, holding hands and Phil resting his head on Dan’s shoulder. Then he walked them down to the club. His arms wrapped around Dan's waist, pulling him closer.

"Find the nice guys, ok?" Phil said, kissing Dan's nose before his lips. "And come home safe."

Dan kissed back. It was a small kiss, just to say goodbye and see you soon. He knew Phil worried, and hated him going to work; he could feel it from the way he kissed him.

"I will. See you in no time at all," he said quietly, pecking his lips one more time before going into work.

Phil smiled sadly and turned to leave. Unknown to them, Dan's boss was watching them from the shadows of the alley next to the building. He scowled angrily. He knew that there was something between them and this confirmed it now more than ever. He was going to end this tonight. The boss slunk back, entering the building again through the back door.

Phil went home pouting; he hated just knowing where Dan was. But this was a process and he hoped in the next month he would be able to convince Dan to just stop working there. He seemed close, at least in Phil's perspective. He went home and cleaned up their mess from dinner, straightening up the house before crawling on the couch with a cup of hot coco. He decided watching old episodes of his favorite tv show was a good way to pass time while he waited for his love to get home.

After quite a few episodes and some random browsing on the internet, Phil was feeling sleepy and Dan still wasn't home. He had been late before so Phil tried to calm himself down, but the more time passed the more uneasy he got, remembering past days.

Dan was showering after he had finished work. He wanted to get home quickly and cuddle with Phil before he went to sleep so he rushed through his shower. He dressed quickly and walked back into his room, but his heart sunk when he saw his boss again, in the same position as last time. Although this time he looked more annoyed, angrier.  

"Um, hi," Dan said. He knew this wasn't good. The boss had warned him it would get worse, and that last time was bad enough. He had no idea what was going to happen apart from that he was going to be punished for something.

"You don't know how to fucking listen." The boss stood up and took the few steps over to Dan, grabbing his hair and yanking him roughly to the ground. He didn't wait to bring his hand across Dan's face. "You think I don't see the shit you do," the man said aggressively, his foot sharply kicking Dan's leg. "What part of ‘you are a whore’ don't you understand, public whore!" the boss said before spitting on Dan's face.

Dan was silent, he couldn't say anything because he was too scared. His boss was being really aggressive from the off, and Dan knew it was only going to progress from here. He wiped the spit off his face, looking down and willing it to be over soon, for his boss to get a call, or need to go do something else besides hurt him.

The boss slapped his face again.

"Say it, tell me you're a whore to sell." The man wanted to lower Dan. The younger boy had been able to build himself up so much taller with Phil in his life supporting him that the boss felt he needed to knock Dan back down.

"I saw you out there with him again. Do you wanna go 'home'? Is he there waiting for you? Now you're just behaving like a private slut. Does he get off knowing other men have fucked you right before he does?" The boss started pushing Dan's face lower to the ground.

"I-it's not like that," Dan said on the verge of tears. He just wanted tonight to be okay, to be normal, but now it was all ruined again. "It's not." He let himself get pushed down, just taking it.

The boss put his foot on Dan's face, pressing it harshly into the floor as he began lifting his shirt up, removing his foot to pull the shirt over his head.

"It's not, huh? So he doesn't fuck your ass when you're not at work? Stop crying, no one likes it when their whore cries unless they are given a good reason to." He turned Dan to his side and kicked his stomach. "Now you can cry." The man kept his foot on Dan's hip to keep him from getting away.

Dan made a pained noise and bit hard on his lip, trying to stop his tears. He didn't want to be weak.

"Why do you care? I haven't done anything wrong here. I am still working, I am still making you money. Whether I am alone or with someone outside of work hours doesn't make one bit of difference to you." He tried to move away, but couldn't.

The boss stomped on Dan's hip and pushed him to his back.

"Because you are property and he's using you for free. Whether or not you're meeting your usual quota isn't what matters." He started undoing Dan's pants roughly. "Just because I let you move out doesn't mean you're a person now."

Dan gritted his teeth.

"I always was a person. You just try to make us think we aren't, but we all are." He was angry and was sick of taking this kind of verbal abuse. He could handle physical abuse, but being told he wasn't a person cut deep.

"No," the boss said, bringing his hand down hard across Dan's face. "I hate damaging my own property," he said, bringing his hand gently down Dan's cheek before slapping him again. "But you need to listen to me."

He pulled down Dan's pants roughly.

"I'm considering changing the way we do business with you. You're not bringing in enough money compared to your face value." Now Dan was naked on the floor and the boss standing over him. "Roll over," the boss said, pushing Dan over with his foot. He kneeled down on Dan's legs to keep him from getting away, and pulled a permanent marker out from his pocket, writing something on Dan’s lower back.

Dan whimpered a little. He didn't know what was happening, what he had written on him or why he was doing it.

"You are just decreasing my value by doing all this," Dan shot at him, but making no effort to move.

"Not my problem, you find a way to come up with the money. Then when you're all pretty again, we can start auctioning you off every night. Gotta make sure we get the best price for that pretty face of yours."

The boss stood up, yanking open Dan's drawer to find the handcuffs. He pulled Dan's wrists behind his back, locking them there. The he stood over Dan, grabbed his hair, and pulling him up to his knees.

"Open your mouth," the boss said as he opened his belt and unzipped his pants.

"I thought I was for sale only, or are you gonna pay for this?" Dan said, hatred clearly burning in his eyes as he glared at his boss, mouth remaining shut. His boss could be very rough and he wanted to put off the inevitable.

The boss slapped Dan.

"I'm the one who owns you, slut, meaning when I say to open your mouth or spread your legs, you fucking listen." He plugged Dan's nose, giving Dan no other option but to open his mouth. "I don't want some other fucker using you for free, but you are my bitch." The boss continued spouting verbal abuse.

"You don't own any of us, we own ourselves." Dan opened his mouth though, not having any other option. He continued glaring at him.

The boss shoved his cock down Dan's throat, not giving him any time to adjust. He just held his head still and thrusted inside him, ignoring the choking sounds coming from the younger boy.

"You should be fucking grateful for me. I saved you from the street, where you would be doing the exact same thing you are now: fucking men for money, except out there you'd probably have every disease in the book. I take care of you, keep you safe, and this is how you respond, you ungrateful shit!" The boss pushed deep down Dan's throat and came directly into him. He pulled his cock out and threw Dan back to the ground.

As his arms were still handcuffed behind his back, Dan landed on his face and made a pained sound in between coughing and spluttering. He coughed some of his bosses come back up and spat it onto the floor in defiance.

The boss adjusted his pants and gave a sharp kick at Dan's ass.

"Looks like you still need to learn." The boss left Dan on the floor and opened up the closet, dragging the cage out of the back.

He stepped back over to Dan and pushed his face across the come the boy had just spat out. Then he kneeled back down and pulled the marker out again, this time writing something else across his upper back.

"Slut's gonna stay in the cage tonight," the boss said, nudging Dan with his foot toward the cage, which was open and ready. Without his hands, Dan would have a hard time getting in the cage.

Dan whimpered loudly now. He hated the cage and the boss knew it. He wasn't going in willingly.

"Fuck you," he muttered, not crawling forward.

"Being on your own has made you such a little shit. You need to spend some time here to relearn your discipline." The boss kicked Dan in the back, grabbing the chain on the handcuffs and lifting him up. "Get in the cage or your nights going to get a lot worse, boy.”

Dan's throat was killing him; it was sore and raw and he wanted to scream but couldn't.

"No," he muttered, but a lot less power behind it.

He inched forward, the cage was more appealing than being hurt by his boss again. He got halfway into the cage and started crying, memories flashing back to him. He felt horrible, he wanted Phil to hold him, but he was stuck here in this cage with his shitty boss insulting him.

The boss pushed Dan in the rest of the way and he fell onto the cold metal floor. The door slammed behind him and the boss latched it shut. It was a simple latch, but with Dan's arms handcuffed behind him there was no way for him to undo it.

"You're gonna stay here tonight. I'll let you out in the morning so you can get ready for work. Maybe then you'll behave better," the boss said, turning off the light of the room and closing the door, leaving Dan in complete darkness.

As soon as the door closed and it was silent and dark, Dan began to sob loudly and uncontrollably. He just wanted normality, but he could never have it. His boss’s words went through his head over and over again. He wanted Phil, his warmth, his comfort, his love. But instead he had a cold floor and bruises. He was gonna be here all night, alone and scared and he didn't want to be.

"Fuck!" he screamed shoving his shoulder against the bars but not achieving anything other than pain.

His dad came into his head, how he had said being gay was gonna fuck him up, make him live a horrible awful disgusting life and for the first time ever, he believed him without seeing any light at the end of the tunnel. Hopelessness.

 

Phil waited and waited. It was getting too late, Dan had to be back by now, but he wasn't. He knew something was wrong. He could feel it, an unpleasant sense of doom lingering over his thoughts. Phil pulled out his cell phone, grateful he had saved Claire's number from Dan's phone. He hoped she would still be awake.

"Hello?" Phil heard a confused Claire over the other line.

"Claire, it's Phil. Did you ever see Grey leave the building?" he asked, his voice shaking as he paced the room.

"Uh, hmm, no, I didn't. He could have left out the back, but he usually says bye to me and the other girls." She paused for a moment when suddenly it hit her. "Did he not come home?" she asked, her voice flat and serious.

Phil's heart was beating a thousand beats per second.

"No, he's not here. I don't know what to do," Phil said and Claire responded quickly.

"Take your usual route to the club. See if you see him along the way. I'll meet you there and unlock the door. If he took a car from the club he would be back already." Claire said and Phil made a soft sound of agreement. "After we check the club, we'll drive to the police. Ok, Phil? We will find him."

They said bye and hung up. Phil flew out the door as fast as he could, catching the late night train heading toward the club. He looked out the window at every stop, but saw no sign of Dan on any of the platforms. He was vigilant during the short walk to the club, but still no sign of the younger boy. Quicker than ever, he arrived at the club and Claire pulled up in her car, parking on the street and running up to the door, unlocking it as fast as possible.

"Back stage or his room?" she asked, getting the first lock undone.

"You check backstage, I'll go to his room," Phil said and they entered the building, going separate directions.

The emergency lights illuminating the dark club looked so eerie. Shadows falling in places normally not in shadow. Phil rushed to the back room and slowly opened the door. In the best case scenario, he was hoping to see Dan sleeping softly on his bed, just worn out. Nothing could prepare him for what he did see. Phil turned on the lights.

"Dan?" he called out into the room as he stepped inside. The cage came into view with a naked and shaking Dan inside. Phil rushed over to the cage, fumbling with the lock. "Dan!? Oh my god, Dan!"

Phil felt like all of his fears had just been manifested in front of him. This was what he was afraid of every time he let Dan go to work. He swung open the cage door. Phil couldn't take in everything that was happening at that moment. All of his senses were overloaded and his only thought was to help Dan.

Dan screamed himself out and then fell silent. It felt like hours passed where he just cried silently. He heard Phil yelling his name, but he figured he must be imagining it, that he wanted it so badly he made it up. The light went on, but Dan remained unresponsive. His mind had accepted that he was going to be here all night. Phil being here confused him so he just stayed silent and unmoving, staring blankly at nothing.

Phil tried getting Dan out, but it looked like if Phil pulled him he would fall forward. He moved around the cage and found Dan's handcuffs, sticking his hands through the bars and undoing them.

"Dan, please say something, I'm scared," Phil said, moving back to the front and trying again to coax Dan out, one hand holding Dan's arm.

Dan's breathing got more audibly shaky, but he still didn't speak. He wasn't even there; it was like he had forgotten who Dan was and was only Grey right now. He made a whimpering sound and his hands held onto the bars now that he could move them again.

Claire came into the room as Phil was working on trying to get Dan to come closer to him so he could help him out.

"Dan, come here. It's ok, I've got you, Dan. Love, we're gonna go home." Phil was trying so hard to keep his voice calm, but it was shaking with every syllable.

He hated everyone right now that got Dan to this point-- Dan's father and mother, Dan's friend, Dan's boss, all of his clients, he hated them all.

"His name is Dan," Claire said softly but not disturbing the two.

Dan muttered his own name quietly, trying to get it back, get back his identity. He shuffled back and got out of the cage, looking at Phil and then at Claire like some kind of scared animal. His shirt was on the floor and he pulled it over to himself, putting it over his lap so he wasn't so exposed. He looked at the floor, not wanting to meet either of their eyes, feeling embarrassed and ashamed.

Phil couldn't hold back; he wrapped his arms around Dan-- probably startling him, but he needed it. He needed to hold Dan and feel him, know that he was safe now. The scariest thing in the world for Phil was that one day Dan wasn't going to come home and that day just happened. Phil started crying.

"Dan, I've got you, it will be ok, you're safe now."

Dan didn't hug back, but he leaned into Phil, breathing him in and beginning to cry silently again. He hurt all over, but he didn't want Phil to know that yet.

"W-w-what does it say? On my back, what does it say?" he said after a few moments, voice raspy. He turned his body so they could see his back now. He had been thinking about it for hours, he wanted to know what the boss wrote on him.

Phil swallowed. He didn't want to read it out loud, he didn't think it was true. "Damaged goods, public use only," Phil's voice stammered. He ran his thumb across it and it didn't smear. "I'll wash it off you when we get back home, ok," Phil said and ran his hand gently over Dan's back.

Dan flinched a little.

"Sorry," he muttered straight away. He took a deep breath and started grabbing all his clothes, dressing quickly, ignoring his pains. "I want to go home" he said simply.

"Let’s go home," Phil said agreeing.

He kept his hands on Dan. Although Dan didn't say anything, Phil could tell he was in pain. There were plenty of bruises on him to show it, too.

"You're alright now, " Phil said, putting his hand around Dan's waist to help him walk.

"I'll give you guys a lift," Claire said sadly. She had never seen Dan this way ever and was practically frozen herself.

Dan nodded at Phil and then at Claire. He kept looking at her and said quietly.

"This isn't the first time Phil's had to deal with me like this. There have been worse times." He wasn't annoyed at Claire, but he wanted her to know that this stuff happened under her nose all the time.

"I'm so sorry," she said softly.

She always knew Dan had it rough with the boss, but never imagined this. She had no idea what the rooms back here even looked like, she only knew backstage because of times she had to take drinks back there for the boys. Phil helped Dan to the car and crawled in next to him. Phil wanted to ask exactly what happened, but wanted to wait until they were at home in private.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;-; poor bby, i just wanna hold him and love him. keep him safe.  
> we are on the last stretch to the ending, can you believe it guys ;u;


	44. Before the Storm

Dan didn't talk all the way home. He kept jumping and his breath still shook from irrational fears of the boss following them home.

They arrived at their door and Phil helped Dan out of the car.

"Thanks for driving us back," Phil said to Claire. "It really means a lot that you helped me tonight. I don't know what I'd have done without you."

Claire gave a small nod.

"He can’t keep doing this. You need to save him," she said quietly so that Dan couldn’t hear, a bit traumatized over the scene she witnessed.

Phil nodded.

"I'm going to," he said and caught up to Dan, who was limping his way to the door. "Dan, let me help you," Phil said, opening the doors and helping him up the stairs until they were in their apartment.

Phil led Dan down the hallway to the bathroom, only stepping away from Dan once to turn on the bath.

"I'm fine, okay? It's fine. Just go to bed," Dan said a little harshly. "I’m sick of ruining your nights," he added more quietly, meeting Phil's eyes.

Phil sighed; he was tired of this, too. Dan should have been home hours ago. Right now, they should have been in bed cuddling and asleep.

"Just get in the tub, please. I'm going to set the kettle on. I'm not going to bed until I have you with me,"  Phil said, a bit of strain in his voice, tired from the night’s events. "I'll make you clean again," Phil mumbled and stepped toward the door.

Dan felt weird; he didn't feel cared for or loved right now. Phil sounded strained and a little annoyed, and he hated it.

"No, look, I know you’re over this, but I can't deal with feeling bad. Sorry if this bores you, if it’s repetitive and an annoyance for you, but it's not that to me. Every time I get hurt, it's a new hurt. I feel it all over again. It's like he’s cutting me open again in the same places. I don't want to feel even worse by feeling like I am making you help me, so please don't. Not unless you want to."

"Dan," Phil said sadly. He didn't want Dan to feel like that. Phil turned back around and pulled Dan into an embrace. "I'm not bored of you." Phil ran his hand over Dan's back. "I just experienced my greatest fear--something stopped you from coming home safely to me." Phil lifted his face and kissed Dan's cheeks, wanting to give him some affection. "I love you so much. I'm just exhausted from being scared, but I know you’re tired, too. I just want to wash your back, let your muscles soak in the warm water, get some tea, and then we can go to sleep and I can hold you close and know you're safe. That's all. I'm not annoyed with you, love, just frightened from what happened. It's not you."

"I'm not safe, though. Not while he has this massive irritation with me at the moment," Dan said, looking at Phil. "He’s so angry at me and I don't know how to convince him not to be. No matter what I say, as long as you’re near me, he’s gonna hate me." He wiped his eyes, sighing. "I’m exhausted from being scared, too," he added before quickly stripping and getting in the tub.

He knew Phil would see his bruises properly now so he tried to get under the water as much and as quickly as possible with his more bruised lower half, mainly his hips.

Phil dropped down next to the tub.

"You're safe right now. He's not going to get you here." Phil felt guilt settling in his stomach.

Dan got hurt because of him again. It wasn't a good reason, though. Dan shouldn't be forbidden from seeing someone outside of work. Phil reached over to Dan in the tub and gently ran his hand through his hair.

"Wanna tell me exactly what happened? If you can talk about it, that is," Phil said, grabbing the washcloth from the side of the tub and bringing it up over Dan's back. The writing smeared slightly, but the ink had had a long time to set in. Phil poured some soap onto the cloth and began scrubbing at it.

"He just, he just saw us. That's all. When you dropped me off, he saw us and was trying to teach me that I'm not special, that I’m his, and not yours, and that I’m not allowed to be your private whore. And he’s, um, he's going to auction me off from now on, ‘cause he can make more money from me that way and teach me a lesson at the same time." There was so much more, but Dan didn't want to go into it right now.

"I don't wanna talk about any more right now. My throat is too sore--he did that, too." He sighed and looked at Phil. "I'm sorry."

Phil paused for a moment and swallowed, his heart thumping so loudly he could feel it in his throat.

"You aren’t my whore, you're my boyfriend." He paused again. "Dan," Phil whispered and wrapped his arms around Dan's shoulders, pressing his face into the crook of his neck. "I'm sorry I got you hurt again. This is all my fault. I'm sorry," Phil mumbled sadly.

"It's not your fault," Dan said, sounding sad as well. "He’s strangely possessive over me. I don't know why. Even though you and I aren't affecting my profit margin, he’s still angry, thinking you’re taking his spot as my pimp or something. And he’s really mad about it. So he leaves messages for you on me." He paused. "But I prefer that to not having you."

He coughed a little; his boss had been rougher on his throat than anyone had ever been and he was struggling with it. His hips ached and his whole body felt sore from being tossed around and thrown against the bars of the cage.

"I stood up to him though, I really did. I told him I was a person. I was sarcastic. I didn't let him feel like he had emotional power over me, only physical." He smiled a little, happy with the fact he had done that. He reached up and caressed Phil's hair. "I love you."

Phil kissed the side of Dan's face.

"I love you, too. Well done on standing up to him. He's an evil being. He's the one who's less than human, not you." Phil pulled back and started to scrub at the ink on Dan's back again. "I'm gonna need to use dish soap on your back; the marker set for too long." Phil sighed in defeat at the marks. He hated this. It wasn't just bruises from beating him, but he actually wrote on Dan and left a literal message.

"You don't have to talk anymore. I know it hurts. I'm getting up to get the soap. Do you want some tea?" Phil asked, pulling away and running his hand through Dan's hair as he locked eyes with him.

Dan nodded silently and closed his eyes, relaxing in the water.

"You should come in with me when you get back, if you want. You don't have to, but I’d like it," he said softly.

Phil smiled brightly.

"I'd love to," he said, kissing Dan's forehead and standing up.

Phil went to the kitchen and put the kettle on. He let the water heat up while he grabbed the dish soap and found some pain relievers for Dan. Phil prepared the tea the way Dan liked it but added another scoop of sugar for his throat. He took the pills and soap in one hand and the mug in the other as he walked toward the bathroom again.

"I know you don't like pills, but please try and take some," Phil said, setting the mug down on the edge of the bath and handing the pills to Dan. Phil started stripping instantly and crawled into the warm water with Dan.

Dan took the pills, wincing as they went down. Then he took his tea and cuddled against Phil in the water.

"I’m sorry. This shouldn't be a part of your weekly routine. I’m sorry," he whispered and kissed his shoulder.

Phil turned Dan and pulled him so he was in between Phil's legs.

"It’ll be alright," Phil said a bit sadly, wrapping his arms around Dan's waist and resting his head on his shoulder. "I don't like it; we shouldn't have to be afraid of this sort of thing happening," Phil said, pressing his face into Dan's shoulder. "I'm just glad I have you home again. I don't mind washing you, though. I'd do it every night if you wanted me to," Phil said and pulled away to grab the dish soap. He poured some of it onto the cloth and rubbed it into Dan's back. "There, it's coming off now," Phil said with a sigh.

"I hate that. That's the worst thing. He wrote on me. Wrote on me. You don't even do that to animals. He thinks I’m less than that, an inanimate object." Dan sighed and shrugged. "I’ve never been that scared. Well, not in a long long time. I felt hopeless." He was speaking even though it hurt; he felt like he owed it to Phil to keep talking.

Phil scrubbed at Dan's back.

"Well you're not an inanimate object; I've never seen something inanimate eat stir fry before," he said, kissing the back of Dan's neck. "Are you scared right now?"

Dan laughed a little, then nodded.

"Yeah, but not of you. Of everything that isn't you." He was quiet for a moment. "Claire knows my name," he said softly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know she’d entered the room. To be honest, I was actually probably too freaked out at that moment to have remembered to say ‘Grey’ anyway," Phil replied, returning his attention to washing Dan's back. He was getting frustrated that there was still a black shadow of the words that just wasn't going away.

"I'm not worried about it, it's just…it was so weird hearing her say it," Dan said quietly. "The scrubbing hurts," he said, pouting a little as Phil seemed to be scrubbing harder and harder at his back.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Phil said, pulling his hand away. Dan's skin was slightly red from how rough Phil had been scrubbing at it. "Get up on your knees and put your hands to the edge of the tub. I need to reach your lower back...I'll be gentle this time."

Dan shook his head; he was a little bit sensitive to being told what to do right now and so he wasn't responding well to it.

"Not right now. I need to just sit, okay? I am really sore and just, no," he said, looking up a little cautiously at Phil. The last time tonight he said no to someone he was beaten, so he couldn't help the small amount of fear now, even with Phil.

Phil put the washcloth on the edge of the tub and wrapped his arms around Dan's waist under the water. He didn't like that look Dan had given him, like he was expecting a punishment because he didn't do as Phil had asked.

"That's okay, don't be afraid. Your body, remember? If you need to sit, you can sit," Phil said, kissing the side of Dan's face a few times. "Don't be scared."

Dan relaxed a little and sighed.

"I'm not, it's okay," he said, reassuring both himself and Phil. "My body," he repeated. "Sorry, I just don't like being told what to do after that kind of treatment. It just, it sounded aggressive," he said, hugging closer into Phil by means of apology.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to give you such an order. I was just trying to help...I did word that really badly, didn't I?" Phil squeezed Dan more tightly. "I love you."

"I love you, too. It's okay," Dan said and turned around a little, cuddling closer to Phil. "I am glad he’s wrong, that I’m not your personal whore, that I am your person, not an item."

Phil smiled sweetly at Dan.

"You're my favorite person," he said, nudging his nose to the side of Dan's face.

"You're my only person," Dan said softly, hand finding Phil's. "And I like it that way."

Phil played with Dan's hand gently.

"I like it that way, too," he said quietly, staring at Dan. "What do you want to do?" Phil asked, leaving the option open to Dan. He didn't want to give him any more orders or suggestions. His next action was Dan's choice. Be it getting ready for bed or staying in the tub, Dan had a choice.

"Hmm, we should probably get out of here soon, but just stay close to me tonight, okay? I’ll be fine tomorrow, I promise. I just... I just need you close right now," he muttered, turning his face so it was against Phil's chest.

Phil took the mug from Dan's hands and set it on the side of the tub. Then he pulled Dan more into his chest.

"Like this close?" Phil said, pressing his face into Dan's hair. His arms tightened around the smaller boy’s body.

Dan simply nodded, face in the crook of Phil's neck as he relaxed against him. He didn’t want to move right now because he felt safe again, and after having that shaken up, he didn't want to give it up so fast. Phil closed his eyes and let out a soft sigh, relaxing his body and letting them sink a little bit more into the warm water. They didn't talk for a while, just taking in the other person.

Soon the water wasn't so warm anymore and Dan was tired.

"I wanna go to bed now," Dan said softly, sitting up and starting to get out the bath. He quickly grabbed the towel to cover the sore parts on his body. He knew Phil had seen, but he didn't want him to have to keep seeing. He walked into their room and pulled a pair of pajamas on for the same reason. He climbed into bed and waited for Phil, cuddling down and looking over the top of the blanket.

Phil followed. The words 'public use only' were still fairly dark on Dan's skin, but Phil would have to worry about washing that later. He was so tired. He took out his contacts and put his glasses on, heading to the bedroom to get dressed. Dan was already covered up with blankets. Phil pulled the covers down and crawled in bed.

"We need to sleep for 200 hours," Phil said, scooting closer to Dan.

He felt that Dan was wearing pajama pants, which was new, but he didn't speak about it. He didn’t want Dan to think it was a problem that he was choosing to cover himself.

Dan nodded and cuddled into him.

"Agreed," he said softly and closed his eyes. He was so tired. "Nu'night."

"Goodnight, Dan," Phil said softly, pulling off his glasses and quickly setting them on the side table before cuddling up close.

Sleep quickly pulled him under. Phil couldn’t remember ever being as scared as he was just a few hours ago.

He slept soundly for a while, but he was woken up in the middle of the night. Dan was shaking and murmuring something. Phil ran his hand through Dan's hair comfortingly, trying to calm the younger boy without waking him.

In Dan's dream, his boss had followed him home and was beating Phil up in front of him, and Dan couldn't move because his boss had tied him up. All Dan could do was yell out and watch as Phil was beaten badly, bleeding on the floor.

"He's right, I never loved you," the Phil in his dream said. Dan burst into tears, unable to handle seeing the man he loved so beaten, nor the harsh words he spoke.

"Dan, baby, wake up. You're just dreaming," Phil said softly, kissing his forehead. He saw tears start to fall from Dan's closed eyes and he pulled him closer. "Dan, wake up. You're okay. I've got you," Phil said a bit more loudly. He had seen Dan have nightmares before, and sadly he had become quite accustomed to taking care of him during them. Dan was talking in his dream now, parts of sentences entering the real world as well.

"W-what do you mean you don't love me? He's the monster, I’m not the monster... am I? Am I the monster? Phil, I love you, please, please don't, I can't be me without you, please." He was sobbing in his dream now and the sleeping him pulled Phil closer.

Phil frowned; he hated when Dan had dreams like that, ones where it was Phil hurting him, leaving him.

"Wake up, love, come on," Phil said, shaking the younger boy in his arms slightly. "Dan, I'm right here."

Dan woke with a start and instantly gripped onto Phil, holding him closely and breathing him in.

"I'm sorry. Sleep. I'm sorry," Dan said sleepily, realizing his dream must have woken Phil up and feeling bad.

Phil nuzzled the top of Dan's head.

"It's okay. I'm right here, love. You alright?" Phil asked.

He was tired and felt he could fall asleep any second the moment he gave himself permission, but Dan was his priority at the moment. He would do anything to make him feel better.

"Mhm, just really bad dream. Boss and you, and you were beaten and you didn't love me, and just not good." He shuddered a little. "But was a dream, only a dream. I’m okay," he said, nuzzling closer.

"I love you so much," Phil whispered, "You're safe with me, see? I've got you now. Your boss isn't here; it's just us." Phil caressed Dan's back with his hand and closed his eyes. Sleep was trying to pull him back under, but he held off, waiting for Dan to fall back asleep first.

Dan nodded and slipped back under.

"Love you," he muttered sleepily as he drifted back into sleep.

Dan was silent and Phil allowed himself to fall asleep instantly, holding on to the younger boy more tightly than he was before.

The next morning came and Phil still hadn't gotten rid of the jitters from the night before. He woke up multiple times panicking, then feeling Dan safe, then falling back asleep. Now he was awake and Dan was was snuggled safely in his chest. He could still see the bruises on Dan's shoulders from where he had thrown himself into the cage bars. He ran his hand through Dan's hair, slowly trying to wake him up.

"Love, are you hungry?" he said, pressing his face to the top of Dan's head.

Dan woke up slowly and cuddled against Phil.

"Not really," he said, sounding groggy. It took a minute for him to remember the night before, but when he did, he jumped suddenly and cuddled closer to Phil. "I hate it," he muttered. "I'm just gonna stay in bed, here, forever."

Phil sighed softly; it hurt his heart to see Dan this way.

"You can if you want to. You don't ever have to go back," Phil mumbled, his arms tightening around Dan, hoping the younger boy wouldn't freak out.

Dan nodded. Right now, he wanted to pretend. That this was fine, and that this was it, that he didn't have to go back.

"I'm sorry you had to see... to see me like that," he said quietly.

Phil let out another sigh of relief. Was that an agreement? Did Dan really just nod and agree he wasn't going to go back?

"That's okay. I've got you now. You're safe and warm, see?" Phil caressed Dan's back. "It's all over."

Dan was unaware how his responses were coming across; he just nodded and nuzzled against Phil's chest.

"Just stay with me here," he said quietly, gripping a little more tightly to Phil. He was still scared he would leave somehow, even though Phil had still stayed after everything he’d seen already. It can be hard to allow yourself to be loved.

"I'm not going anywhere. I love you so much, Dan," Phil whispered and pressed his face into Dan's hair. "I love you. I'll keep you safe." They lay in bed for a long while, both clearly awake just to take in the comfort of the other.

Dan lay there for a while, but eventually his hunger took over.

"I need food," he said, looking up at Phil.

Phil pulled back a bit to look at Dan.

"Yeah? Okay, babe, let me make you something. You rest." Phil sat up and got out of bed, stopping at the door. "Is breakfast okay? I know it’s like the middle of the day, but I can make you soup or something if you want that. Anything you want."

"Toast is fine," Dan said smiling. He liked how helpful Phil was trying to be.

It was a really endearing quality: no matter how awful of a thing he went through, Phil would try to make everything okay with kind words and gestures.

Phil smiled and nodded. He won; Dan wasn't going to go back. Dan was safe. Phil ran off to the kitchen where he quickly prepared a breakfast of eggs, bacon, and toast, arranged it neatly on a plate, and made a cup of tea. He brought it all back into the bedroom.

"Hey you," Phil said, bringing it to the bedside and setting it on Dan's lap. "Oh, I forgot silverware." He ran off, grabbed the silverware, and came back. "There ya go. Eat up. It's been over twelve hours since you've eaten."

Dan smiled and gave a little pout.

"Phiiill, I said toast. You didn't need to do all this," he said, gesturing to the plate but grinning. He loved the effort Phil put in for him. "Thank you. You’re perfect," he said, sitting up and starting to eat, gesturing for Phil to sit beside him and share.

Phil crawled in bed next to Dan and picked up a piece of bacon.

"Toast isn't a meal, and you need to eat." He smiled.

They finished eating and Phil took the plate away, tossing it in the sink. Phil walked into the bedroom again, a bit slowly this time, hesitating in the doorway. "So, uh Dan… can I try, um, washing the rest of your back?"

Dan's face dropped a little but he nodded, wanting to be strong for Phil.

"It needs to come off, so yeah, okay," he said, but he did avert his eyes from Phil for a second, embarrassment settling over him again as he remembered the situation Phil saw him in.

Phil nodded and stepped over to Dan, extending a hand and guiding him back to the bathroom.

"Whenever you're ready, you can sit on the edge of the tub," Phil said softly, remembering last night. Dan didn't want to be told what to do anymore. Phil waited for the younger boy to move at his own pace.

Dan nodded and moved to sit on the edge of the tub.

"Don't read it." He knew it was stupid--Phil already knew what it said--but he didn't want those words to run through Phil's head again. He didn't want those words to be associated with himself for this moment, not at home, not with Phil. "I know you know what it says, but just, don't read it again. I'm not those things," he said quietly, looking down at the base of the tub.

Phil put his hands gently on Dan's shoulders, caressing him gently as he knew bruises were there.

"It's okay, I know," Phil whispered, leaning down to kiss Dan's shoulders a couple times.

Then he moved back and slowly lifted Dan's shirt up and off, the words sticking out against Dan's skin. Writing like that doesn't belong on a person. Phil took an intake of breath and grabbed the dish soap and washcloth that the night had left behind and ran the rag under some water. Squeezing the cloth to drain the excess liquid, he brought it back against Dan's skin and started scrubbing again.

"Don't let me scrub too harshly," he whispered as he began washing the staining words away.

Dan shook his head.

"No, scrub as hard as you need to make it be gone," he said a little harshly. He pushed his back against the scrubber a little to make his point. He needed it gone; it felt like the words were seeping into his veins and causing brands to be left on his soul, tarnishing an already-damaged part of him further.

Phil swallowed the lump in his throat. It hurt him so much seeing Dan like this.

**"Okay," Phil said quietly, washing Dan, washing away the club, the boss, and all the people who had ever touched him. All of it needed to be gone.**


	45. Like a Knife

After that, things were pretty calm for a while. It seemed like the worst was over, and for a few weeks, they were a normal couple. After the first week, Dan's bruises had healed completely. But by the third week, Phil could tell Dan was getting anxious. Phil didn't let him so much as call the club to say he quit because he didn't want him to get swayed into going back.

Dan was stressing. He knew his boss was going to freak out and that he needed to get back to work, but he didn't want to break the silence and voice it to Phil. He knew he needed time to heal, and he had allowed Phil to look after him during this time, but now he needed to get back to business, back to his normal life.

“Phil," Dan said softly, trying to think of a way to enter into this conversation.

"Hmm?" Phil said, looking up from his book to Dan, who was standing in the lounge door. "Everything alright?" Phil asked, his voice a bit hesitant. He had an uneasy feeling in his gut; he knew the look Dan had on his face.

"Can we, um, can we talk?" Dan asked, giving a small smile and walking over to the couch to sit next to Phil.

Phil swallowed, sitting up and moving closer to Dan.

"About?" he asked. He felt wrong, like this wouldn’t be good. Maybe he felt so with good reason; there is rarely a time when the phrase “can we talk” ends with something good.

His stomach was already queasy and Dan hadn't even told him what was on his mind yet. Dan swallowed thickly; he knew Phil was set on him not going back. It seemed like Phil had convinced himself that was it over, but it wasn't.

"Just, um, I’m better now, you know? I took time to heal and now I'm better so... I just… Baby, I need to go back to work." He said the end quietly, looking down, unable to meet Phil’s eyes.

"N-no, Dan, you can't go back there, you're just going to keep getting hurt! Aren't you happy like this? You don't have to worry about anything. Why do you want to go back there?" The words poured out without much thought to them.

Phil put a hand on Dan's arm, afraid the younger boy would run away.

"Phil, it's my job, I need to. It's what I do... I just... I need to provide for myself and this is the only way I can," Dan said, looking up and meeting his eyes. "It will be better this time, okay? Trust me."

“Nothing you say will make it better. You've seen it.” Phil moved away from Dan, feeling a lump swell in his throat.

“Please, just listen.”

“So you can tell me what? How much you enjoy being a whore? Why you keep going back? What are they giving you that I'm not?”

Phil stood up; he felt crowded. He had gotten used to the idea that it was all over. He thought Dan agreed it was over. He even called Dan a whore just now, and he never did that, ever.

"Dan, you can't. I won’t let you. I can't keep doing this." Phil's eyes darted across Dan's face trying to read more, trying to see if there was any hint of Dan taking it back. "I can't do this," Phil repeated, the realization kicking in.

Phil was in too deep. He had been in too deep for a while, but he was just now realizing it. Nothing was going to change. They were just going to continue this endless cycle: Dan would get hurt, Phil would take care of him, and then it would all repeat again and again and again, slowly chipping away at his sanity.

"If you leave," Phil said slowly, the words sitting in his throat, “I won’t be here when you come back.”

"Wait…what?" Dan breathed out. "What?" Dan's heart rate was speeding up. "You…you're leaving me? You-you don't want me anymore? I knew this would happen, I knew it!"

Dan was standing up now, one hand in his own hair as he tried to keep focus and contain the anxiety that was building up inside him.

"It's not like that! I just can't handle this anymore. You--you're just dragging me down with you, and you may be able to live like this, but I can’t. I don't want to go." Phil's voice cracked at the end of his sentence as he watched Dan.

This was it. It was ending. He never knew it could end. How did this happen? When did they start falling apart? It hurt too much.

"I don't want to do this, Dan, b-but--"

"But nothing! No! 'Dragging you down'? I know, see, I am worthless. You think I'm low, you must, to think I am dragging you down." Dan’s voice kept breaking as he started crying and walking backwards. "I don't need you anyway. You’re just like the rest of them. You don't care, or you wouldn't say this…y-y-you promised! You promised!" He hit the wall and stopped, but both hands were on his head now like he was trying to hold his brain together--trying to stop everything from exploding, stop the life he thought he could have had with Phil from spilling all over the floor.

Phil followed Dan into the hallway.

"Why won't you listen to me? I've given up so much for you. All I ever do is try my best to give you a comfortable life. You know why? Because I fucking love you. But I can't keep doing this, can’t keep watching you tear apart your life. You’re so damaged you can’t even see when someone is trying to save you. If you are going back to the club, then I'm leaving you, too." Phil started off screaming, but ended his sentence quietly.

Phil had just given Dan an ultimatum: him or the club. And he knew he wasn't going to be the choice. He watched the other boy breaking down in front of him, and Phil couldn’t help but cry as well, but this was how it had to be. If he didn't end this, it would go on forever. His energy had been run down.

Dan just stared at him. There was pounding in his ears and he didn't know what to do next.

"I just… I… this is who I am. You were interested in me as me, you knew this was what I did when you pursued me. Why be with me if all you want to do is change me? You were supposed to love me."

“I’m trying, but it’s…. it’s like you’re in another world to me and no matter how much I try, I can't touch you.”

“I’m right here; you’re the one who’s leaving me.”

There were tears running down Dan’s cheeks now and all he wanted to do was run to Phil, to hear Phil tell him that it was all going to be okay, because that's what Phil did for him. But this time, Phil was causing this.

"I-I didn't want to love you. I fought this, remember? I fought it every step of the way. Then I caved and now I love you. Why let me do that? Why make me love you if you are just going to use it to break me?" Dan tried to meet Phil's eyes.

"I-it's not like that. I want to save you. But every time something happens and I help you, you just return to that place where people hurt you. I can't keep up with you anymore."

It was killing him; Dan was giving him that look he never wanted to see directed at him. The look accused Phil of being evil, of betrayal. That is what Phil was doing, though: he was betraying everything he had ever said. He let out a choked sob while looking at Dan.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I never wanted it to get like this. I wanted to help you."

"No, you lied. You lied, like everyone else, you lied to me!" Dan yelled out. He was so angry; he felt ripped open and exposed and it just hurt. "I hate you!"

He screamed and turned around and started punching the wall, trying to get out some of the emotions that threatened to engulf him. He kept punching it until there was blood on his knuckles. Then his hands just dropped and he put his forehead against the wall and sobbed.

Phil watched Dan, flinching and clenching his nails into his palms more tightly each time Dan's fist hit the wall. He had to hold himself back from rushing to Dan's side like he normally would, stop himself from kissing Dan's hands and washing the blood away, making sure the person he loved was okay. He couldn't do any of that anymore.

“I've given you everything I have. This is all I am. What more do you want from me?” Dan whimpered.

“I don't feel it,” Phil muttered.

Dan peeked up at Phil, glaring daggers at him.

“Well, whose fault is that?”

"I'm leaving then," Phil whispered, backing up to the bedroom and throwing some shirts into a suitcase. Phil had moved in with Dan. All of his stuff was here; this was his home. And that’s what it felt like: like he was running away from home. More tears streamed down his cheeks. He would have to come back to properly move out, but it was hard to believe. This was it. It was over.

"No, please," Dan basically whispered, not moving from his position against the wall. He slowly took a step back and felt the panic rise up. "You made me love you. You can't leave, you can't." He went into their (his) room and saw Phil grabbing his things. His arms went around his middle and he let out a dry sobbing sound. "I don't have anyone."

"You had me," Phil said, turning back to look at Dan. "We could have been happy. You would never have to worry about getting hurt, or worry about making enough money to cover your rent on times you do get hurt. But you chose the club. Over that." Phil turned back to his suitcase. One of Dan's shirts was on the bed. He stuffed it quickly in his pack and closed the case. "I don't know what I'll do without you, but I can't stay here anymore."

Phil held his breath and walked past Dan, trying not to look at him. If he looked at him, he would change his mind, and he couldn’t do that. He had to leave. This relationship was poison for him. Surely if he stayed, it would kill him.

Dan walked after him.

"What am I supposed to do? You were the only thing that made things okay for me. I wasn't human before you. Without you, I’m nothing... I just... please don't, Phil, please, I love you, I love you." He was frantic now. "I love you, I love you, please."

Phil squeezed his eyes shut as he stopped walking. He remembered the first time Dan said ‘I love you’ to him, and the first time he said it and meant it as well. The way he hid himself under Phil's shirt to say it, feeling safe in his arms. But that wasn't enough anymore. It was a vicious cycle. Phil knew what he had to do, what was best for him: disowning Dan.

"Goodbye, Grey," Phil said, using Dan's stage name. Dan wasn't Dan to anyone else, so without Phil, Grey would be all that’s left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there is nothing i can say here to make this better, please don't stab me, if you are freaking out and contemplating not finishing reading please dm me and again let me remind you all this has a happy ending


	46. Bringing Flowers for a Ghost

The name stabbed Dan like a knife.

"Phil," Dan choked out, but he made no effort to follow. He slunk down to the ground, sobbing loudly.

Grey. Grey, Grey, Grey, Grey. His brain repeated it over and over again. That's all he was now; Phil walked out and left only Grey behind. He took everything that was Dan and shattered it into a million pieces as the name Grey left his lips.

As the door closed behind Phil, he heard Dan speak his name for the last time. He broke down, tears flooding his eyes as he pressed his forehead against the door. Five months, was it only five months? Five months of his life and energy were 100% dedicated to this boy that he had just walked out on. It was all over. Phil lifted himself up and slowly walked away. He’d said goodbye to the one person he loved above all things. That life he could have had was ended now.

Phil had nowhere to go; he had rented out his apartment, and he really didn’t want to be alone in such a big place, anyway. He didn't want to remind himself of how alone he was before Dan, how much he owed Dan for giving him a purpose and a sense of home.

Dan stayed on the floor for hours, just lying there sobbing until he couldn't sob anymore. Then the sadness turned into anger. Phil convinced Dan to let him in, and then just threw him away. He was instantaneously back to being that scared, sad boy with no name and no self-worth. Eventually, he fell asleep on the floor. He couldn't sleep in his room; everything reminded him of Phil, his Phil, who wasn't his anymore.

Phil ended up at a hotel. He didn't want to be alone, but at the same time he didn’t want to invade anyone else's home either.

Forty-five minutes later, Pj was there. Phil opened the door and Pj stared at him, taking in the appearance of his friend. Phil's eyes were red from crying, but there were no tears left. He just looked angry. And he was; he was angry at himself and angry at Dan. He couldn't understand where everything went wrong.

“Locking yourself up isn't the way to deal with things,” Pj said calmly, walking into the hotel room.

“Pj, not now. You have no idea what's going on,” Phil said, closing the door behind Pj.

“So you and Dan aren't imploding?”

“What?”

“It isn't rocket science. I just don't know how you didn't see it coming.”

Phil looked at Pj.

“Not now, Pj, I don’t want to hear an ‘I told you so.’”

“That boy would do anything for you, you know that?” Pj asked sadly.

“That boy chose to go back to the club. He's being beaten by his boss and has nearly overdosed on drugs.” Phil stared Pj down. How could Pj even think he knew what was going on? He knew nothing. “He got locked in a cage overnight and he still chose to go back to the club even though I've tried to support him.”

Pj looked down, the information heavy for anyone to take in.

“Now please tell me that you understand what he is thinking, because I sure as hell don't,” Phil said.

“So you’re just gonna let him go?” Pj mumbled.

“It's hardly my decision. He chose the club.”

“It is your decision.”

“Well, it's not fair.”

Phil threw himself onto the bed and covered his face. He was worried--no, beyond worried, terrified--now that Dan was out on his own again. Who would give him comfort when he came home?

“What am I supposed to do? Go back to him? Even if he’s still a prostitute?”

“Why wouldnt you?”

“I thought it would be different than this. I thought he would quit when I offered to support him.”

“You thought you could just whisk him away and everything would be fine? How long has he been working there? It doesn't just stop. It will never stop. You will always have to deal with a bit of who he was. You're only making him more of a prostitute if your way of fixing things is to throw money at him.”

Phil fell silent. Pj was right; Phil wanted to get Dan out, but thought the solution was money. It had never had anything to do with money, though; it was about the younger boy’s self-worth. Phil made Dan feel like he was closer to being human every day they spent together. But all Phil thought about was Dan refusing to accept his money.

“Look, if you don't want to hear what I have to say, I'll leave,” Pj said, pulling Phil back into the present.

“Good, I don't.” Phil got up and started walking toward the door, but before he could make it, Pj was there blocking him again.

“I lied. I'm not leaving. Phil, you lost your family. A couple years down the line, you met a boy who is just as alone.”

“I know what happened, Pj.” Phil rolled his eyes. He didn't want to hear about his family, not now. Not when he just lost Dan, too.

“You missed the point, though. When you lost them, you shut down. Then Charlie happened and you only got worse. Finally Dan comes along and you’re the happiest I've ever seen you, including before the accident. The love you have for each other only comes along once in a lifetime. So he shuts down sometimes, he has painful nights. He's risked everything at work to be with you. And you're walking out on him because you suddenly decide it's too much. You've been through worse for him.”

Phil’s eyes misted over with tears, each word from Pj sitting in his stomach like a brick.

“If it's not working out, if he's not the guy for you and what you need from him isn't there, then let him go. Break his heart. But if you really think there's a chance you love him--I'm talking, scary, messy, painful, no restrictions, if you're ready for that--then think about what you're about to lose.” Pj turned toward the door, about to walk out.

“It's too late,” Phil muttered.

Pj sighed and walked out of the room. Phil needed time on his own to think it over.

 

Dan didn't do anything for the next few days. He moped around, he didn't eat, and he didn't do much of anything. He sat alone and got sad and felt regret and pain that he couldn't escape from. It got too much one evening and he screamed out loud before rushing into the bedroom. He refused to look at anything, anything to remind him of Phil, as he got ready to go to the club. He looked at himself in the mirror. His eyes looked dead and he had bags under his eyes. He looked like Grey again.

He got to the club and set about trying to find his boss; he had to explain what had happened to him, but he knew it wouldn't end well for him. He was going to get punished. He was going to be in for a rough night.

The boss was in his back office filing paperwork when a security guard came in.

"Sir, Greyson Bear is back."

The Boss smiled devilishly and stood up, going out into the club. He knew Dan would come back; although it had been a couple weeks since he had seen Dan, he had kept the boy's room untouched. He met eyes with Dan and pointed at him, gesturing for him to follow, then disappeared into the bedrooms and went into Dan's. The boss intended to scold him, but didn't want to make a scene out in front of everyone.

Dan made eye contact with the boss and his heart rate sped up. Last time he saw him he had ended up in the cage, so needless to say, he was terrified. But he had nothing else to live for, so he followed him into the room.

"You enjoy your vacation?" the boss said as he closed the door, guiding Dan to sit on the bed.

Dan shook his head and sat, looking down at the floor.

"N-no, I, um, I was a mess. I needed to heal so I could come back and work properly. N-no one would wanna buy me in that state, sir." He swallowed harshly.

The boss walked over to Dan and pushed his hair out of his face, tilting his face up so he could examine him.

"You've lost weight, you have bags under your eyes, and you look anemic. I hardly think anyone will want you now. We might just have to toss you out," the boss said, pushing Dan back so he could lift up the boy’s shirt and examine his chest. "No ribs poking out, at least. Do you still want to work?" he asked, but he wasn't really going to give Dan a choice. If he said no, he would tell him too bad. If he said yes, he would know he had successfully house-broken him.

Dan swallowed; he didn't want to. But it was all he had now. He slowly began to nod.

"Y-yes please," he said, eyes welling up a little. He quickly blinked it away, self-hatred filling him.

"Good," the boss said, patting his head like a dog. "We don't have any dances lined up for you tonight, but after hours I'll auction you off. You're out of practice. Wait in here and try to make yourself look worth something more than spare change, please. I'll come get you when it's time."

Dan nodded and looked down again.

"Thank you," he said quietly. "C-can I… Can I sleep here tonight? I just.." he trailed off. "Doesn't matter." He didn't want to ask him for anything; he would only be made to pay it back in humiliating ways.

"What? Did your pretty boy pimp kick you out or something?" the boss said, looking at Dan with a small smirk, feeling successful that he had gotten back his most valuable item.

Dan stiffened up.

"It doesn't matter." He stood up and walked into the bathroom to make himself look 'worth more than spare change,' but right now he didn't feel like he was worth a cent.

 

It had been four days for Phil since he had walked out. He hadn't bothered to even look for another place, even though he could easily afford it. He just kept lying on the bed of the hotel room.

"You gonna stay there forever?" Pj asked, knocking on the door.

Phil didn't really want to answer. He thought he should be alone, just like Dan was. However, he got up and opened the door for Pj, letting him in.

"He hasn't called in four days," Phil responded, lifting his phone up. He had been clutching it desperately, wanting to hear something from Dan, wanting to know if he was okay, if he was alive.

A thought had come to Phil that made him tense. If Dan died, no one would know. Dan didn't have an emergency contact; he didn’t have any family. If Dan died, he wouldn’t be found until the landlord came looking for rent. And then what would happen? Without Phil there, no one else would take responsibility for Dan to provide him with a funeral. Phil started crying again, letting tears silently slip down his face.

"You can still get him back, Phil.”

 

Dan waited around the back room for what felt like forever, waiting for his boss to come get him and sell him off like he was an animal. Eventually, he heard footsteps and looked at himself in the mirror. Even though he was anxious, part of him wanted this. He deserved it; he had put Phil through so much and this was just karma for him being such a horrible person to someone so wonderful.

"This is how it's meant to be," he muttered to his reflection in the mirror.

The boss opened the door without knocking,

"Come on, slut, gotta earn your keep."

He grabbed Dan's arm and pulled him out, bringing him up to the stage in front of the crowd.

"It's everyone's favorite, Greyson Bear! He has been gone for a few weeks, but he’s ready and willing to get fucked tonight. Who's up for purchasing this boy for the night? His ass is tighter than it's ever been. Come on, Greyson, turn around and show them!"

Dan did as he was told, blushing a little in embarrassment as two weeks of being treated like a human without this had made him unaccustomed to it again. He swallowed harshly and smiled at the audience, but not a real smile, though. He was incapable of doing that anymore.

The boss called out a number to get the bidding going. Soon, another client would call out a number, and another. The price for Dan rose quickly. The boss kept inciting the audience with Dan, making him kneel and spread his legs. Finally, someone called out a huge price and the boss declared Dan sold. "You can pay me up front and then he's yours in the back room."

Dan side-glanced the boss then eyed over the man he had been sold to. He went over to his boss.

"How long are they buying me for?" he said quietly, defeated.

"As long as he wants. He's paying enough for your ass to have that freedom." The boss guided Dan off the stage to the man where they made the money exchange and the boss pushed Dan toward the man. "Don't leave any marks on him. I don't want my sluts getting damaged."

"No problem, sir," the man said, already running his hand rudely over Dan to get a feel of what he bought.

Dan knew how to act the part--it was second nature--but he didn't want to. This stranger’s hands on him even already, it felt wrong. It wasn't Phil. But Phil was never gonna touch him again. All he had was this job, this role, so he was going to play it to the best of his ability.

"Hey, baby," he said, eying the man up, trying to go for seductive, and in doing so, hopefully hiding the sadness behind his eyes.

The man and Dan went into the back room, the man stripping Dan of his clothing. He made Dan kneel in front of him to suck his cock before pushing him face first into the bed and spreading his legs. He grabbed a condom out of the bowl on Dan's nightstand and began plowing into him. The man held down Dan's arms, ignoring any sounds of discomfort.

Dan just lay there how the nameless stranger had positioned him and took it. It hurt, but he didn't care. He deserved this. Tears silently soaked the pillow that his face was shoved into as the man continued his selfish journey to completion, and Dan just sunk lower and lower into his own thoughts.

The man turned Dan over and started running his hands over Dan's face, his disgusting hands feeling Dan's delicate skin on his neck.

"You have such a pretty face," the man grunted. "Don't have any other talents than getting fucked, do ya?" The man gripped onto Dan's neck and thrusted harder until he was close.

Pulling out, he pulled off the condom and came over Dan's stomach.

"Ahh fuck, that was good, haven't had such a young ass in so long," the man said as he got up, not looking at Dan.

He had already paid so he didn't need to do any business there. He just got dressed and walked out, leaving the used condom on Dan's stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys bad news, due to finals B is insanely busy, she has been going through her toughest semester ever and the rewrites that we've been needing to do for the next 3 chapters. ages ago when we were still working out the ending we wrote one way then decided another way would be more powerful and due to her semester being as busy as its been we haven't had a chance to fix it.  
> So for the next 4 weeks, there will be no cwm, do you guys want doin dirt for the next 4 weeks? or do you wanna take a break and relax?
> 
> ALSO if you read this and want come what may back as soon as possible wish B good luck on her exams in the comment section ^^


	47. "  "

Dan lay there not bothering to move for a while. He knew he should go for a shower but he didn't feel like he had any reason to be clean anymore; it used to be to make himself all nice and pretty to go home to Phil, but now there was no Phil and nowhere that felt like home so the process of making himself all clean felt redundant.

Eventually he did, though. This was how he got through most days, doing things just because it's what you did, not because it’s what you wanted to do. He felt like he lived in a shell, surviving off of only simple bodily functions. He eventually went back into his room after getting clean to find his boss waiting for him, and wanting to fuck him, of course. He took it without argument; he knew it would be coming anyway, just another action to keep him in his place. He didn't shower after though--that took the last thread of motivation. He just replayed the words his boss said to him before he left, leaving Dan naked and sore in the bed he was abused in daily: "Know your place, slut. Getting above your station only results in you getting hurt." And for once, he agreed with him.

 

Days passed, then weeks, and Dan was still in the same haze, disconnected from everything. He did his job and he did it well, he was well wanted and auctioned off to the highest bidder every night, and most nights the boss would make a show of the bad worker turned good again. It would have made Dan sick if he’d had the energy to care. The parts of the job he used to enjoy prior to meeting Phil didn't even interest him anymore. Being wanted by the entire audience didn't give him satisfaction; it just reminded him of the fact that Phil didn't want him. Dancing felt like making a fool out of himself rather than making him feel sexy. He was utterly miserable, and the life he had with Phil now felt like a dream, a fantasy that he would never be lucky enough to live.

 

One night after work, he was sitting on the floor of his room, a bottle of whiskey in one hand and his phone in the other. He had been staring at the phone since the bottle was full with no intention of using it. But now that the bottle was half empty, his mind blurred everything and he was dialing the familiar yet distant number, tears streaming down his face as he heard the ringing. It went onto voicemail. He had expected no less. He was quiet for a moment after the beep, and then he couldn't help it anymore.He took a shaky breath and began talking. All the pent up pain and self-blame he’d had for the last few months were spilling out without his brain giving it permission to do so.

Phil's phone rang with the familiar ring tone set especially for Dan for the first time in weeks. He had still been staying at the hotel, Pj stopping by once in a while. All the time Phil was being an unproductive member of society. Although he knew he had no right to be, he was the one that left. He cut it off, so why was he still sulking like it had just happened that morning? Jumping off the bed toward his phone to see who it was, Pj snatched away the device before he could look at it.

"It's him, right? Pj, I need to talk to him," Phil pleaded.

"This is your decision," Pj said, handing the phone back. Phil looked at it still ringing in his hand before it finally cut off.

 

"Phil I, Phi-Phil I'm sorry, I fucked up," Dan spoke in a loud whisper, afraid the boss would hear him somehow and come in. "You let me be Dan again. I miss him, I miss being Dan... I want to only be Dan." He snuffled a little before continuing. "It's so dark and cold here, and it was all fine before I knew you, before I knew otherwise, but now it’s just like this gaping hole in my chest that gets bigger every time I think about you." His voice was getting higher, more frantic. "Take me home, Phil. I want to go home." He hung up the phone because he didn't want the message to catch him bursting into tears.

Phil looked at his phone, the message flashing up saying he had five unread voicemails. Phil looked up at Pj.

"Should I listen to it?" he asked.

"It's up to you," Pj sighed. "You can’t stay here forever."

"Yeah," Phil said as Pj got up and headed toward the door.

"I'm going home now. It's late--talk to you in the morning," Pj said, walking away.

Phil stared at his phone for a long time turning the light back on whenever the screen faded to black. He missed Dan more than anything. It had been weeks and that was all he could think about, missing and worrying about him. Sometimes he would have dreams of Dan being in trouble and he would wake up sweating and holding back all urges to run out the door and find his beautiful boy once again. What harm could listening to his voicemail do to the damage that was still there? He pressed a couple buttons and the voices began to play.

"Hey Phil, where’ve you been? Dan seems pretty sad, like really sad. You two okay? Gimme a call." Claire’s voice was the first message he heard. There was a beep and she spoke again. "Phil, pick up your phone and talk to me, come on, you fucker. Dan isn't doing so well." Beep. "I don't care what the fuck happened between you two, get your ass over here now and save him. You better be dead, and if you aren't I’m going to kill you!" Beep. "You have no clue what’s going on here. I'm worried, I'm scared, they auction him off every night, it sickens me… call me." Beep.

"Phil I, Phi-Phil I'm sorry," Phil finally heard Dan's voice and listened closely to the message.

He shook as tears started dripping from his eyes. That was the only sign he was crying, the tears just pouring out. The last bit of resolve he’d had toward breaking up with Dan had melted away. Phil stood up forcefully and went to the bathroom to straighten himself up quickly, and then he ran to the door to get his shoes on as he put the phone to his ear to call Pj.

"You're going back to him?" Pj spoke from the phone.

"I, I love him." Phil's voice shook, not knowing what else to say.

"Yeah, I know. Go get him back." And with that, Phil stood up and walked out the door.

Phil walked quickly, catching a cab instead of taking the train. He didn’t have time to waste. There was this image in his head, one he’d had for a while, of sweeping Dan off his feet and leaving the club. For once, that image seemed like a possibility. If what Dan had said on the phone was true, Phil would be going back home with the love of his life. The dancer that kept his attention. The beautiful boy with so much love to give--love that no one wanted until Phil came along.

The cab pulled in front of the club. Phil paid and got out, going through the club doors. The music seemed so much louder than he remembered it. He looked at his watch. It was after hours so Dan would be walking around, looking for a client. He walked through the club and looked at dancers but there was no sign of his Dan anywhere. Phil spun around, distressed but still looking. Suddenly, a hand gripped his collar and pushed him into the wall.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Dan's boss growled in Phil's face.

Phil glared back; he had no fear of this man, only hate.

"I'm taking him home," Phil snapped.

"Like hell you are." The boss pulled Phil toward the back door and threw him into the back alley. "Think you can steal my slut from me, do ya?" the boss asked, his fist colliding with Phil's jaw, making Phil stumble back.

"I'm not stealing him. He’s not an object!" Phil snapped before the boss's knee jerked into Phil's stomach, making him crumble to the ground.

"I own him! I was the one who picked him up off the streets! That brat owes everything to me. And besides, I'm not going to have some pretty boy take him away," the boss shouted, kicking Phil again and again.

Deciding that wasn't enough, Dan’s boss grabbed Phil's arm, twisting it around and pulling until there was a loud pop. Phil screamed in pain at his now-dislocated shoulder. The boss dropped his arm and stepped back, looking at Phil as he writhed in pain.

"He’ll leave, whether it's with me or not," Phil muttered, his voice shaking with the pain in his shoulder. The boss pulled his arm back to punch Phil again.

 

Dan had just finished with a client and before going out to the front again needed some air. He went out the back door and froze, shocked by the sight before him. Panic started to cloud his mind as he took in the scene, Phil's arm bent awkwardly, held up by the boss, who looked murderous. Phil looked in pain but equally as angry.

"Phil... what? Let go of him! What are you doing? Let go!" he half yelled as he moved forward, desperately needing to stop this but not knowing how.

He had always hated his boss, but seeing him with Phil like this made him angrier and more scared than he had ever felt in his life.

The boss quickly stepped back, pulling a gun out of the back of his jeans and pointing it at Dan and then Phil.

"Don't move... don't you fucking move or he's dead," the boss yelled.

"Dan," Phil whispered, lifting himself up slightly to look at the boy he loved so dearly.

"Is that what he calls you, slut? Get back inside!" The boss waved the gun at him briefly then pointed it back at Phil.

Dan's heart rate quickened to a rate that shouldn’t have been possible. This was it; he suddenly felt like everything in his life had led up to this, all the abuse and pain, the feelings of being unwanted, uncared for, and abandoned. It was all for this, it was all to give him the strength to defend that one person who was worth it all, the one person who took away all the bad feelings and made them good, the one person whom he could trust, the reason he didn’t need to live like he had been anymore.

It was like a wall had come crashing down in his head. He didn’t need to do this anymore. This perfect man was here to save him, like he always would be. He wouldn’t hit him like his father did, wouldn’t rape him or spit in his face. Phil loved him more than his own family did. And that meant Dan could stop. He could be Dan. Greyson was gone; he died the first moment their lips touched and was buried through all the beautiful moments they had shared together.

Dan's thoughts gave him a sudden rush of courage, and he stepped forward. He felt taller and prouder than he’d ever felt in his entire life, and he wasn’t scared. The one time he should have been scared, he wasn’t. All that mattered was Phil, and Phil getting away from here in one piece.

"He called me Dan because that’s my name. I’m Dan and I’m not pretending anymore, not for you, and not for any of your disgusting customers out there.” He pointed out towards the bar as his voice got a little louder. “You do not own me because I’m a person, I choose what I do with my life, and I no longer work for you. You know why? Because I’m better than you. I have somewhere I belong, I’m wanted, and you’re not allowed to take my name from me anymore.”

He glanced towards Phil for a second and made eye contact, hoping it sent the message he wanted it to and that Phil knew it was a silent apology for not coming to this conclusion earlier and for putting Phil through all of this before Dan understood his own worth.

"What, so you think you can just walk out of here?!" he shouted, filled with rage.

"Yes."

"I took care of you. I kept you off the streets and this is how you pay me back! Who’s going to take care of you if you leave here?" the boss shouted again, coldly staring Dan down.

"Me" Dan said, giving the boss a look of pure disgust.

There was a loud bang, Phil didn’t realize what had happened. There was a stream of blood dripping out of a wound. Next there was immense pain. Phil screamed in agony as his shoulder felt like it was on fire and being crushed at the same time. It happened so quickly he didn’t even see security running out, grabbing the boss, and handcuffing him. Shock set in and his body started shaking. His hand pressed hard into the wound in an attempt to stop the blood, so much blood. Phil gasped as he fell to the floor, wishing for the pain to end.

"PHIL!" Dan screamed. He ran over to him, instantly dropping down beside him and pressing his hands into the wound, trying to stop the bleeding.

He heard someone yelling about getting an ambulance so he knew one would come soon. He had silent tears running down his face and he refused to meet Phil’s eyes. This was all his fault. All of it. He was too late; he left it until it was too late, and now he might lose the one thing that matters most in this world.

"I'm s-so sorry," he almost whimpered. It was like he had forgotten how to speak when the sound of the gun went off.

Phil gripped onto Dan’s arm, squeezing as hard as he could to try and keep himself with Dan, holding on to the person for whom he needed to live.

"H-hurts, Dan, it h-hurts," he choked out. He didn’t want to die, not like this he couldn’t leave Dan alone in this world. Phil started crying.

"I'm sorry," Dan choked out again, still not looking at Phil in the eyes, his hands shaking as he frantically tried to find a good angle to push against Phil’s wound.

Phil was hurt and possibly dying. Dan was going to lose the love of his life. He looked up and met his eyes with a sudden defiance.

"He can't win, okay babe? He can't win. You have to live, because I finally quit and we can be happy and you have to live." He added more pressure against the wound, eyes unfalteringly meeting Phil’s. "Because you’re all I have, you’re all I want, and I’m not willing to lose you."

Phil smiled as he looked into Dan's eyes. He was in the most pain he had ever experienced in all his life, but hearing those words from Dan made it all worth it. Dan had quit the club. He was finally free of this evil world. Whether or not Phil made it out with him didn't matter anymore; Dan was free. Phil slowly closed his eyes, no longer struggling. He could feel the world getting quieter around him. It felt so welcoming after all the chaos.

"You were the best thing to ever happen to me," Phil breathed out, hoping it was loud enough as the darkness overcame him.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi.


	48. Come What May

Dan began to panic when he heard “were.”

"Hey, no, don't use past tense. You're not going anywhere!" he said, his heart pounding through his chest. The ambulance arrived, and Dan was pushed out of the way.

"Hey, no, I need to go with him. Hey... hey!" he shouted and finally got the attention of one of the paramedics. "Let me go with him; he would want me to."  

If these were Phil’s last moments, he needed to be there. Even if it was just to breathe the same air for the last time, he wasn't going to let some medic take that away from him.

The paramedic turned to Dan.

"What's your relation to the patient?" he asked as Phil was carefully moved into the truck.

"Patient is in critical condition. Let’s move—hurry!" shouted one of the female paramedics.

"I-I'm his partner. We're together," said Dan as he tried to keep up with the paramedic. He tensed up, expecting to be told to fuck off or to "go away faggot." Those were the only responses he had ever gotten whenever he admitted he was gay outside of work or Phil.

"Oh, good. Come with us," said the paramedic, gesturing to the truck. "The police are going to have to ask you a few questions once we get there.”

“Does the victim have any heart problems or pacemakers?" asked the female medic as she strapped Phil up to an oxygen mask.

Dan stood confused for a second, startled by how un-phased the medics were by his sexuality. He caught himself and then began answering their questions as he followed them to the back of the ambulance.

"No, he doesn't," he said, just staring at Phil as he spoke.

Seeing him like this, so vulnerable and on the edge of death, Dan could only think that it was all his fault. He moved as close to Phil as he was allowed and started to speak very quietly so only Phil could hear—if he had been awake, that was.

"I'm sorry you met me. Selfishly, I’m thrilled that you did, but right now, seeing you like this, I wish you hadn't. Even though you saved me, I don't know if you’ll think it was worth it after this."

The heart monitor beeped slowly. Phil’s heart was beating slowly but beating nonetheless; he was still alive. After they arrived at the hospital, the paramedics called PJ, as he was still Phil's primary emergency contact. Upon arriving, PJ sat on the opposite side of Phil, looking from Phil to Dan every few seconds. Never had PJ seen someone look at another person with as much adoration as Dan looked at Phil.

"I nearly lost my best friend," PJ said. He couldn’t blame Dan for this. He knew Phil would never blame Dan, so he knew he shouldn’t either. But PJ couldn’t help thinking that if he hadn't encouraged Phil to go back for Dan, Phil wouldn’t be on the brink of death in a hospital—or maybe Phil would have gone back on his own anyway. It was too late to find out either way.

Dan’s eyes switched gazes from Phil to PJ.

"I'm sorry," he said softly, a tear running down his cheek. "I'm sorry for everything. Phil was fine before he met me, and all I did was complicate everything. But I love him, PJ. I love him more than I love myself, more than life...shit, before Phil, I didn't even really want to be alive." He swallowed hard. "I just need you to know how much he means to me, and I’ll be done with all this. I won’t let my actions hurt him anymore. I give in. All I’m gonna do from now on is make him feel loved, to try to give him what he’s given me."

Dan’s cheeks flushed a little as he finally stopped talking and returned his gaze to Phil, feeling shy around PJ.

PJ laughed softly.

"Phil was not fine before he met you. He was a shell. All he did was work and hide away. We took him to the club to try and get him to have a good time, and he met you. You've given him a lot more than you realize, Dan." PJ smiled at Dan.

Dan was scared Phil might never wake up, but PJ was equally as scared; if Phil went into a coma, they would need each other to get through it.

"I'm gonna get going; I'm exhausted. Here’s my phone number. If there’s bad news, call me immediately. Good news can wait until morning." PJ handed Dan a note. "You really done with that place?"

Dan nodded and took the note.

"I am. It has no hold over me anymore. I see that now."

PJ stood up and walked to the other side of the bed, rattling his brain for what to say to Dan. He put his hand on Dan's head and patted him gently in praise. He hadn’t been as involved as Phil was in Dan’s decision to leave the club, but he was still proud of Dan. PJ smiled, nodded, and then left the room. Phil was in good hands with Dan, he knew.

Dan sighed loudly and leaned over, lightly resting his head on Phil’s stomach.

"Please wake up," he whispered. He needed Phil, needed to hear his voice. He reached over to grab his hand and gave it a little squeeze. "I'm trying to be strong, but I'm losing it," he quietly confessed.

In reality, Phil had regained consciousness a few minutes ago, but he just couldn't muster the energy to open his eyes. He could hear the slow beeping of his heart on the monitor, though, and he could smell the warm scent of Dan sticking out from the overly-sanitized hospital smell around them. Phil opened his mouth but couldn’t find words just yet. Instead, he twitched his fingers to try and hold Dan's hand back.

Dan let out a sharp breath as he felt Phil’s fingers twitch beneath his own.

"Ph-Phil, Phil! Oh my god," he whimpered, squeezing Phil’s hand tightly. "You're alive. I'm so sorry, so so sorry." He cut himself off before he started to ramble, and he reached up to move some of Phil's hair off his face. "It's all gonna be okay, alright? I'm not going anywhere, not ever."

Phil turned his head to look at Dan and he could feel the tears welling up in his eyes. He had never been so happy to be alive.

"D-Dan," Phil let out in a broken voice. "I love you. I'm sorry; I shouldn't have left." He squeezed Dan's hand back and his heart rate started picking up speed.

The nurse came into the room.

"His heart rate jumped," she exclaimed as she entered the room and looked at Phil. "Oh! You're awake! That is much sooner than we predicted. Do you need more morphine?" the woman asked as she looked over Phil's vitals. Phil nodded, still finding talking difficult. He waited as the nurse gave him another shot of morphine and the pain began to dull.

"I'll check on you again in a couple of hours." She smiled as she left the room. Phil relaxed into the bed.

Dan felt like he was holding his breath. He was worried he was dreaming, it was all too good.  It had gone from him thinking the love of his life was going to die to him sitting up and smiling at him. Phil was in pain, and Dan knew it. He would never get rid of the guilt that he would have for this, for someone as innocent and perfect as Phil to have to go through so much harm, solely because of him... but something PJ had said earlier resonated with him: Dan had fixed Phil, too. No longer did he feel like he was the one who was broken and needed fixing, because they had both needed that. They had both needed each other. It may have taken a long time for them both to realise it, but they had both healed parts of each other that they didn't even know needed healing.

"I love you," he said quietly, squeezing Phil’s hand. "I know you're tired and in pain, so we won’t talk yet. I know we have a lot to talk about... But for now, I love you, Phil, so so much, and I'm not leaving, ever. I'm here. I promise this time."

He got up onto the hospital bed with Phil.  He was unsure of whether or not he was allowed, but he didn't care. He wasn't going to get this far only to be deterred by hospital rules. He lay down next to Phil, careful not to accidentally hurt him, and started to lightly run his hand through his hair. The trauma of the evening had started to hit Dan now, and the shock was rendering him exhausted. To keep himself awake, he started talking to Phil again, assuming he was asleep and unable to hear him.

"I quit, Phil. I'm just yours now. I can just be yours. It felt so awful without you. Home isn't home when you're not there." Dan kissed Phil gently on the cheek.

He was so scared that Phil wouldn't get past this, that he would be too angry and too hurt, but part of him knew they would be okay. Phil was kind, and Dan was lucky enough for Phil to love him. Now he just had to make Phil feel as loved as Phil made Dan feel.

Maybe Phil had really died or maybe he was just loaded with morphine, but hearing those words from Dan that he had waited so long to hear—“I quit”—felt too good to be real. Phil closed his eyes, letting it sink in, a tear slipping out of the corner of his eye.

"Dan," Phil whispered, again finding it hard to put words together. "My Dan. You're just Dan." Grey was gone. The club was gone. All that was at the hospital now was all that existed anymore: Dan and Phil.

The sun came up a few hours later, but neither of them noticed; they were too busy enjoying the best night’s sleep either of them could remember, the stress and sadness of the previous weeks melting away regardless of the pain of Phil’s injuries. It was the first night they had both truly known that they were each other’s, come what may.

Dan felt Phil move slightly, and Dan gripped onto Phil’s shirt.

“Can I…lie with you for a bit longer?” Dan whispered.

“Yeah, if that’s what you want.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you didn't catch it, or forgot it cause it's been so long, "can I lie with you for a bit" and "sure if that's what you want" is something phil had asked dan the first night he bought him. now dan is asking phil.
> 
> I told you there would be a happy ending and some of you didnt trust me. FOR SHAME!


End file.
